~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | Hit me like a brick wall | Getting Started | Far-Neighborhood-663 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/25 02:45 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | No one cares about menThis sentiment of feeling abruptly lonely after separation is so familiar to me. I was lucky we only cohabited for about a month before she moved out, so I didn’t have the stress of that, but after having moved out to my own place it did feel like I was waiting for people to notice that I was alone and life had shit on me a bit, and that I expected my friends to reach out. I’m currently 6 months into separation. They mostly didn’t and it was my expectation that was wrong. More recently I’ve just… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/25 07:56 PM |
| 12 | Divorce Woman Effects on Married WomenMisery loves company. Same sit. here, wife made a new friend who was getting ready to break up with her husband, hey presto - ta da, we’re separating. All the worries and concerns her new friend had been bellyaching about to my wife were suddenly also true for us, history was rewritten! | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/25 01:33 PM |
| 9 | ⚠️ BIOHAZARD WARNING ⚠️lol. Humour in this sub. Love it. I may print and laminate this, 🙏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 09:36 AM |
| 8 | Today is the day we tell the kids.Feeling this so much, we told our kids 2 weeks ago M15, F12, F6. The older ones also saw it coming but plenty of emotion and it can take a while to come out. Keep an eye on them in case they’re bottling stuff up and make sure their other adults are doing the same, grandparents, teachers, cousins. My wife is moving out this week and I’m away with the kids. Dreading going back and not sure what I’m going to find has gone from the house despite us making a clear plan, but it will be so much less aw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/25 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Hit me like a brick wallWho knows, maybe it’s a time of life thing, maybe she always felt like this and just stuck it for the benefits of family and income. I’m beyond caring now- I’m working towards getting out cleanly and moving on, getting 50% of my kids time, focussing on myself and giving up a few assets to avoid getting destroyed with regular expensive maintenance. One thing I can say - she’s picked up a couple of new friends in the last year that are divorced or have been actively working towards it, so I think … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Hit me like a brick wallI think it’s time for an update on this, a week has passed since she told me, in which time I’ve been through a real mangle of emotions from self-blame to anger and numbness. I can say 1) thank you to everyone who commented on the original post. The mix of reality checks and warmth has been huge for me in processing what’s really going on here. 2) I got way more support from friends and family than I expected, and have a few more to speak to, one friend in particular and my brother stood up amaz… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/25 02:25 PM |
| 2 | Hit me like a brick wallI wrote a response out, with a lot of feeling here and then decided against leaving it up. I get the sentiment of this thread and who knows you might be right but my gut is telling me this isn’t yet cheating, it’s more avoiding the need to cheat by bailing first. But it’s a possibility and there’s opportunity enough I think if she did want to. I’ll be aware to the risk and approach to divorce ofc changes if it’s already happening. I’m not in the US btw. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 12:55 PM |
| 3 | Hit me like a brick wallLawyering up today!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 11:17 AM |
| 3 | Hit me like a brick wallYou’re 100% right here. The revision of our history is more and more apparent as I process. She threw out that we never went on holiday together as a young couple. This is just false objectively in so many ways. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 11:17 AM |
| 2 | Hit me like a brick wallDefinitely have therapy and gym/exercise on my near term future once all the practical side is sorted and I know the kids are protected at least my end. I’m trying very hard to stay impassive towards her rn, I started falling into the trap of trying to get emotional support from her in a platonic way, given that up quickly. I will absolutely be letting her go. She’s not the person I got together with at first anymore and so it’s not so hard to think about things like this. Thanks for the comment | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 11:15 AM |
| 5 | Hit me like a brick wallThis is where I am getting to now thanks for commenting. Reading back what I wrote yesterday a lot of how I feel has changed to not accepting blame but I am taking forward a lot of my reflection into my new life for sure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 09:37 PM |
| 6 | Hit me like a brick wallI think the update to this is my original assessment was wrong - there isn’t anything I could have done different that would have had her stay. We just both hung in there without addressing the fact we weren’t really into each other any more and now she has chosen something else. So my faults are still real but the lack of intimacy has come from the fact she was pretending about our connection the whole time and never felt it, but didn’t say that to me ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 08:26 PM |
| 3 | Hit me like a brick wallMan, sorry you’re going through this rn - it’s certainly sucking after 4 days, can’t wait for the next 3-4 months to go by until we can get our place sold and out properly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 08:08 PM |
| 2 | Hit me like a brick wallI’ve heard her out about what’s not doing it for her but I’m not about to embark on a mission to upgrade to her new standards. Gonna get myself settled elsewhere, make an awesome safe space for my kids to join when I have them and work on what I want and living my life for a change instead of serving hers. Bottom line is we should have split 20 years ago, but neither of us had the bravery and to her version, sounds like she consciously chose not to end it because she saw the potential for family… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 08:05 PM |
| 5 | Hit me like a brick wallI’m not making any assumptions right now, current thinking is there’s no ap, she definitely has decided she wants something different to me now the confidence is back and she’s looking better. tough to hear when all the time earlier in our lives when I was late 20s we could have gone each our own ways but she stuck to it because she wanted to get the family. I’m def. Not the bad guy in this and I won’t fool myself into thinking otherwise. But ya never know maybe some one will magically come out … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 08:02 PM |
| 2 | Hit me like a brick wallI guess I did, I see a lot of truth in what she’s saying but not a lot of self awareness, other than to say she’s not blaming me. With sex it’s very a very chicken and egg issue with us and our history, we had a great sex life early on, really into each other. Later it slowed down and stopped started again. We’d just gone back into a ‘good phase’ with this, she’s feeling it again and has got some confidence back, after losing some weight and now this. I looked around early on for some kind of tr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 11:01 AM |
| 3 | Hit me like a brick wallThanks - each day is different, I had a blame myself day yesterday and today is an angry ‘I want out’ kind of numb day today. I definitely lived in the ‘good guy’ mould of trying to make everything right for everyone else all the time, and lots of the time her own crisis made her unavailable to me for sure while I was shouldering really small kids and full time job as she crashed out etc. it’s more clear to me every day and one foot in front of the other… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 10:54 AM |
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