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FastLaneKindaGuy Archive

View 0 posts and 34 comments by FastLaneKindaGuy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

If you and your spouse own a home together it is best to get a home equity loan or refinance with cash out as both would be lower interest than the tax on your withdrawal from a 401k. This is a marital asset and you are both entitled to it, and most likely will have to sell or refinance anyway. If she wants to stay in the home, which is the smartest thing to do, then suggest that she pay you some money from her 401k to leave the home so you can afford a safe place for your kids to come visit/sta…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 10:09 PM
2

Freedom is Priceless!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:56 PM
1

Pretty sure she’ll need to have a case number to support her claim. No case number…no case.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 08:23 PM
1

Once the genie is out of the bottle she ain’t going back in! So prepare yourself! I would highly recommend that you use a mediator or mediation service. Call your county clerk and ask if they have a recommendation for you. Mediation is your best option to get out of this divorce with the least financial damage. You can hire an attorney to help you with forms etc. First step is to serve your spouse papers. This is the letting the genie out of the bottle. All hell is going to break loose and set o…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 07:58 PM
1

This isn’t going to end how you think it is.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:11 AM
6

Go talk to an immigration attorney and listen to his/her best case scenarios with the process from different countries. You’re basically trading one set of problems for a different set of problems that is going to cost you a lot of money. There isn’t any good reason to get married, except for having children but know that is eventually going to cost you a lot of money too when your spouse decides she wants to go find herself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 12:03 AM
2

Just an FYI, federal employees have certain rights under the policies of their retirement plan as well as tsp. You can call both and talk to an administrator and they will give you a calculation of what your spouse is eligible for. Your attorney should have done this for you, or at least been aware of it. I brought this estimate from TSP and FERS to my mediation and said this is what you are allowed to get by law. It changed the dynamic of the negotiations.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 03:21 PM
1

The reason divorce is so expensive is because it is worth it! Not sure if your state allows mediation or not but this is the best way to go. Just you and your spouse negotiating a settlement on your own. If there is any possible way to buy your spouse out of alimony do it. I had the option to pay a lump sum or make payments for three years. Every month I wrote that check was infuriating and made it harder to move on with my life. As I said in a a previous post, divorce always comes down to a fin…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:06 PM
7

I was filling out a beneficiary form or something at work and I needed a copy of a divorce decree from 27 years ago. Just so happens I had a copy in a file, and had scanned and saved to a thumb drive. Saved a lot of time not having to do a records request at the courthouse. Get yourself a fire safe lock box to keep all of your important documents in.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 07:27 PM
2

Divorces always come down to financial settlements. In hindsight marry a woman who makes about the same amount as you. This will yield the best outcome for you. Nothing good comes about when you’re the primary earner in the household. Also, if you don’t know, if you are married more than 10 years, your ex can mooch off your social security benefits and you have no say in it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:51 PM
1

Love me some Bourbon too! After my divorce I had a hard time self regulating and had to have my sister keep an eye on me cause I was getting after it pretty hard.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 06:01 PM
1

Definitely recommend using a mediator whenever possible. This is your best opportunity to get a fair outcome. Great job OP! Beer time!
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 05:43 PM
1

Yep just STFU until it’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 12:28 AM
2

If you petition the court to reevaluate her financial situation they are also going to reevaluate yours too. Unless it’s a very significant amount you’re better off just letting it go. This exactly why you want to buy out your ex at time of divorce, if possible. You don’t want to be tied to the woman financially, or her to you. Take the financial hit and move on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 11:44 PM
6

It’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster. It is going to test your patience every day. It may help you lose some weight, or gain some weight. Find positive things to do like going to the gym, before you come home and drink the day away. Immerse yourself in work, or a hobby, or get together with friends, or join a bowling league. You can get thru this! And you’ll find out the strength you have to handle these things.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:55 AM
1

That’s a fairly common rule. Also, some pensions say you have to be married longer than 5 years etc. Also, fyi…in order to collect on your spouse’s social security you have to be married for more than 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:43 AM
1

Some pension plans have language that prevent a spouse from raiding the pension thru divorce after a certain age. Some are calculated based on the number of years married vs how many years of service. If you are married 20 years, and the spouse contributed to the pension for 35 years…you only get a portion of the 20 years while married not the whole 35 years. Keep in mind, if you have a 401k and contributed during your marriage…half is your spouse’s. Seriously, you will need a spreadsheet to fig…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:27 AM
4

Check into your county court clerk’s office to see if they have a mediation program so you can avoid attorneys. Usually in mediation you and your spouse sign an agreement that is binding in court for a divorce. This is probably your best opportunity to negotiate with your spouse on the terms of your divorce. If the court gets involved they are required to use formulas that pretty much always fuck the higher earner. The mediator’s usually try to split everything based on income percentage. This i…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:08 AM
22

As the saying goes…at one point they loved it, then they didn’t. Trust me, every woman cheating is doing BJs whether they like them or not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 04:51 PM
1

As a lesson learned, never put your name on a vehicle or anything else for that matter with your wife. Took mine hitting a deer and the insurance company totaling the vehicle to finally get her off the loan and on her own way. This is the kinda stuff you never think of before you get married.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 03:14 PM
1

I know it probably seems like the worst problem in the world right now, and it probably is for you right now, but your broken heart will heal and that little light in you will shine bright again some day soon.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 10:53 PM
1

I feel for you…I know it hurts. I can say that post divorce (and my ex would confirm) I was a must better dad and friend than I was as a husband. Sometimes marriage just doesn’t work for people…doesn’t make them a bad person…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 10:42 PM
1

The odds aren’t in your favor of the relationship being better if he does come back. Not that it can’t, but…. If he’s a good dude to your son and y’all can be civil with each other that’s probably the best outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 10:17 PM
4

Uncontested divorce. 50/50 custody, no child support, no spousal maintenance. That’s a positive outcome in most men’s lives.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:34 PM
5

Refi the home and buy her out and send her on her way in exchange for no spousal support or child support. The financial risk of staying in the home outweighs the cost of SS and CS, and this is the least disruptive to you child. Having that home will afford you better opportunities in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 09:28 PM
6

Usually, alimony will stop once an exspouse remarries; however, you are still on the hook for child support.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:39 PM
6

Go thru with the uncontested divorce…this will be your one and only shot at it. You can always live together and coparent without being married.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:25 PM
1

I had to put a couple self control checks in place cause I still needed to get up every morning and go to work but still partied like Charlie Sheen! Get a brother or sister to check in on you and make sure you’re not going tooo far off the rails.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:16 PM
3

Be prepared for your attorney to hit you up for more cash….the up sale. Check into whether your county has court approved/appointed mediators. Usually you pay a fee and you and your wife negotiate a settlement right there without attorneys involved. The agreement is binding for both parties. Then go to your attorney to make sure it is properly filed with the court. This is going to save you a lot of money vs having the attorneys negotiate on your behalf. Negotiate what you want and don’t give in…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 03:21 PM
4

You have the rest of your life to be an awesome dad and grandfather, and more than likely the right guy for a younger hotter woman that will piss off your STBX more than you can possibly know right now. Work through your emotions in the time being because divorce is going to be a difficult ride. Don’t send her any text messages from now on….only call her and don’t leave any messages. Do not leave your home. She can go stay with her new bf if she needs a place to stay! Give her a week to gather h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 01:42 PM
1

I’m in WA, Pierce County, and used a court approved Mediation service and it was $400 five years ago. Wherever you are look up your local courthouse and see if they have a list of approved mediators.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 12:44 PM
6

Definitely negotiable! Rather than lawyers check into court appointed mediators. Basically, you and your wife work with mediators to come up with a settlement…no lawyers involved. The agreement is binding in court. I ended up agreeing to pay a lump sum. If you have the means to pay the lump sum DO IT. The last thing you want is the memory of this woman in your head when you write her a check every month. Also, if you pay the lump sum you don’t have to worry about her taking you to court to get a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 03:12 AM
6

It may not seem like it at this moment but this divorce may be the best thing that happened to you! Some times you have to be thankful for the things that didn’t go right in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 03:36 PM
1

You need to learn that you can’t use a rational/logical argument with someone that is irrational. If she gets you to fight irrationally she feels like she wins. If you can’t stop from engaging in the irrational bullshit you need to hire an attorney that will tell you to STFU and let him/her handle it the right way. Sorry to be tough on you but you were part of this problem and couldn’t figure out how to keep it from escalating to a point where you don’t have any control…other than letting the co…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 03:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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