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Fauxmannequin Archive

View 1 posts and 247 comments by Fauxmannequin on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

DiscussionFauxmannequin/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 06:36 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
-2

Society (ie both men and women) put the majority of that responsibility on men, but I think it’s slowly changing. Women are certainly more upfront than they used to be. And while we might not approach people all the time like men used to do, most of us would make exceptions and approach / make the first move with someone we’re genuinely interested in. But keep in mind that because women haven’t yet gotten used to rejection in this way and that most women would prefer to be single over being in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:01 PM
-2

It’s not, but what a great way to show my point of “poor communication”.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 12:36 PM
2

I get that. But from the other perspective, I’ve been friends with people on video games where when they became interested in me, they stopped caring about the games and would always try to lead conversations in a sexual/romantic direction. Or get possessive in making sure we would play games alone. Those friendships crumbled because they couldn’t accept that I wasn’t interested in them. I don’t mind a friend being interested in me. I DO mind when they can’t accept that I may feel differently. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:38 AM
0

Well, I think myself and OP were largely referring to in-person approaches whereas online is a little different. Social media is so impersonal and yet it invades so much of our lives, time, and privacy - especially if you’re a woman in my opinion. So I’m not terribly surprised by some women being particularly frustrated with being messaged - because being messaged is something that happens all the time. And being that text often lacks tone and character, it’s particularly hard to develop any rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:56 AM
5

I believe that for most women, context is the most important part of the discussion for whether or not we’d like to be approached. However, that got lost in translation. Most men simply heard “women don’t like being approached” and adjusted accordingly to what they understood that to mean. However, the creeps that caused women to start saying that in the first place aren’t known for listening anyway, and so did nothing different. So the more respectful men don’t approach at all, and the creeps s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 06:30 AM
1

A good job is harder to find in my opinion. I’ve had some good partners, been proposed to twice, and said ‘no’ twice. They were great partners in near any aspect (but I simply don’t care so much about actual love/romance as most people do.) Even though I’ve been very happy in my time with them, I’m not sure I’ve ever been truly happy in any job I’ve worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:42 PM
2

No, I don’t criticize it because I understand it. I understand why women do it OR don’t do it - just as I don’t criticize men for obsessing over porn/sex. I’ll criticize when that leads to exploitation from women against men (like scammers/fake findommes) or when men harass/assault women. But when it’s all either consensual (ie some sex work) or mental (ie porn addiction), then I see no reason to criticize.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 12:42 PM
3

Bold of you to assume that. I’ve been to SAA meetings and shit for my own porn/sex addiction. I understand how easy it is to obsess. I understand how easy it can be to objectify yourself and the benefits and drawbacks of it. I may make different choices today, but that doesn’t mean I look down on others. I just recognize that it wasn’t good or healthy for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 12:26 PM
3

It absolutely is criticized by other women. Granted, I don’t have a personal issue with any of it as it’s their choice in how to live and present themselves. I might not wholly agree with their choices (as in I wouldn’t personally make the same choices), but I can completely understand them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:45 AM
1

I absolutely think beliefs can be separated from a person when we’re just talking about policy. (Granted, if we were talking about someone’s beliefs about others’ rights, then that gets MUCH harder to do.) But voting for someone different than I do isn’t an issue in the slightest for me. I have no problem with someone acting in a way that aligns with their beliefs as that is precisely what they should do. I’m a firm believer in that the average person has nothing but good intentions in their bel…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:14 PM
16

To be honest, I do “test” men somewhat by taking a different position from them in anything important to them. The easiest way to do this is often politics tbh. (Not that it’s the most important thing in either of our lives though obv). But I’m libertarian. Whether you’re right or left, most people have something to say about that. If they can separate issues and beliefs from the person, they pass. If they insult or belittle me, immediate fail - and I won’t spend time with them. But after that, …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 05:11 AM
1

Glenn is preferable generally, but I also put a high value on being funny. But I don’t want or expect to be taken to a nice restaurant and being paid for on the first date (or at all). If he’s the kinda guy who insists it’s his role to pay for me, then I wouldn’t see him again either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 10:30 AM
1

It seems like you do. Otherwise, what point would you have in making your initial reply to a comment that said nothing of the sort? It’s a bit of a useless thing to bring up if neither of us believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 01:44 AM
1

Seems like you’re the one perpetuating that belief - not me. Because I neither said that, nor believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 01:42 AM
1

Do you only associate masculinity with only those who can make someone feel safe or happy? Because I don’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 01:38 AM
1

Where in the post did I say that any kind of man was more or less masculine than another?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 12:54 AM
2

Bruh, most people don’t believe in SMV or a 1-10 rating scale for people. If a woman trusts you, she might answer questions about her sexual/relationship history. But women don’t choose not to disclose that info to spite men or take advantage of them. Disclosing a sexual/relationship history opens women up to two common responses from men: (1) shaming/ridicule or (2) that man assuming that the woman will give him the same treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 03:27 AM
2

C’mon, comparing this to strangling puppies is not at all equal. Not saying anything about how many people they’ve been with is not lying or harmful to you. If they were to say nothing about having an STD, then I’d agree it’s wrong to say nothing. But also, if it’s a dealbreaker that you must know that your partner is a virgin or something, you could just not marry them if they choose not to tell you. You’re not in any way obligated to be with someone who you don’t fully trust - just as they’re …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 02:17 AM
4

Well, I’m not familiar with that post, but yeah, that’s pretty objectively shitty. But you honestly believe that’s a common thing women say/do? What percent of women would you guess have said “I was scared” to justify awful shit? I’m sure there isn’t anything but personal opinions and anecdotes about this whole topic, so I’m just curious what y’all’s perception is. I’ve never really encountered this sort of thing personally, so I just doubt it’s in any way common. The only women I’ve known to sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:48 PM
9

Just saw your edit, so I’ll address these other examples. “Poor reactions” is pretty vague in general, and I’d say that most women have experienced gross approaches like catcalling or being touched. It’s not unreasonable for a woman to be scared and a lot of factors can play into that. This one is just too vague. I don’t know any woman who advocate for one while advocating against another. Personally, I think it’s reasonable to have space for both. And as for creating a social climate where it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:57 AM
6

The only one I can actually agree with you on there is not admitting to cheating. Ghosting is something I don’t view as objectively bad. And if someone is obsessing over you, that is part of the right steps to take to get out of that. I’ve never met a woman who acted rudely to a man she feared would become violent. Never. (Rudely rejecting someone is wholly unnecessary obviously, I just don’t think anyone who does it would say that “I was scared” line is all.) And as for sexual past, I don’t thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:42 AM
19

Can you give me an example of a woman saying “I was scared” to justify objectively poor behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:31 AM
21

On a personal level, I understand where you’re coming from, OP. I am a smaller woman who has had a lot of trauma from men in particular. I am vastly more attracted to men closer to my height partially because they are less intimidating (not that they aren’t intimidating though). However, not every woman is going to reach that conclusion. Even if domestic violence is more common than violence from a stranger, most people are not going to assume that this is what their relationship might lead to. …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:28 AM
1

You do pick people - whether you realize it now or not. Which is why in my original comment, I said you might have to re-evaluate your approach. Like can you answer a couple questions for me? Firstly, what kind of woman do you actually want in life? And secondly, what is your approach to finding them?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:55 PM
0

Okay, and that truly sucks. I won’t try to justify their choice at all because I think it’s an incredibly stupid and short-sighted one. But the world average for men’s height is 5’7”. It wasn’t a strike against you, it’s a strike against over 50% of possible partners - over 2 billion people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 04:18 PM
1

5’2”. The men I’ve dated were around 5’3”-5’6”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:58 PM
1

Sure, the physical stuff might not change much once you’re an adult but so what? That’s truly the thing you want to stake your identity on - the shit you can’t change? Even if you don’t want to change, that’s totally fine. But that is the absolute last thing I’d want to stake my identity on personally. Especially so considering the physical stuff is one of the major ways people filter each other out in attractiveness - even if someone would reject a billion people for being blonde, I might take …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:46 PM
1

The tallest person I’ve dated was 5’8” and that was a woman. The men I’ve dated were even closer to my height.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 10:27 AM
-3

I’m not gonna lie and say it’s always your personality that’s a dealbreaker to women. But for dumb shit like height being a dealbreaker to some, is that really that integral a part of your identity? And is a person that superficial really that desirable for you to want to be with? I’d say ‘no’ to both questions really. I’m not gonna pretend that there’s some blanket advice for what you gotta do to get a girlfriend. But what’s better to do is to really ask yourself a few important questions about…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 09:45 AM
-1

I understand it feels that way, I just disagree that it is that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 09:31 AM
-2

Not really. Do you know the relationship status, emotional readiness, life circumstances, etc of every woman you’ve asked out? A lot of the time, it’s not about you - whether you realize it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 09:10 AM
-4

I’d imagine that the first thing to do is remind yourself that it’s nothing personal - even if rejection feels that way. Then, re-evaluate your approach to meeting and asking women out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 08:53 AM
2

Yepp, it being funny is the main reason why I’ve told it - the other being a reminder of why you gotta discuss saying/doing that type of thing (or any other kink) with your partner. I’ll never really understand the daddy thing either, and I think more people should take care to make sure that’s okay first also. Even being a D/s doesn’t mean it should be assumed that any specific kink is agreed to without that communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 06:53 PM
5

Lmao ayy, thank ‘em for that! But really, I wouldn’t judge or view a man differently for having that kink, it’s just jarring when it’s sprung on ya out of nowhere
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:12 AM
3

You can if you discuss it with the other person first and make sure they’re okay with it. 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:05 AM
11

I’ve never made a comment about a man’s dick, body, or general performance to friends. The one negative comment I’ve made was after one guy slipped and called me “mommy” mid-fuck which made me dry as the Sahara, but I told this when talking to people who did not know him at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 09:40 AM
3

Probably like 2-3 times a month. 1 might be a coworker (I work in a huge place with a lot of contractors), and the other 1-2 people might be guys at my favorite bar (since I usually go there alone). I don’t particularly mind when it’s at the bar, but I don’t like being hit on at work obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:14 AM
4

By all means, you can think that, but that doesn’t make it real. It’s been said By who? I imagine the closest you might get to that is maybe pheromones, but I don’t know of anything specific to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 10:30 AM
8

Look, I think there is something to be said about pre-selection, and I do think it’s true to some degree. Desirable to other females Sure, I’ll agree on that, but… The thought of them sleeping with other females while actively sleeping with them, turns them on as it’s taboo Lol no. Have you met people? Most people have feelings of jealousy. Someone desiring your partner might make you defensive and pay more attention to them - positively or negatively depending on what kind of person [you] are. …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 10:18 AM
14

Yes obviously. What is she doing to her 20 year old kid? She gave birth to him. That’s not some personal attack against him lmao. How dare she age as if she’s human, I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:51 PM
3

Sure, I get that. But many of these children being born are presumably going to be male. Like sure, technology might replace some responsibility of men in reproduction, absolutely. But I can’t imagine it’d be to the extent that we’d need to create laws and try to transition society into being set up to be women-dominated is all I’m saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:46 PM
8

https://www.babycenter.com/getting-pregnant/preparing-for-pregnancy/what-are-the-risks-of-having-a-baby-if-im-35-or-older_3127 https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db152.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:41 PM
14

Women can, and do, get pregnant at that age - some completely naturally and some with assistance. But the amount of women choosing to get pregnant later in life has been on the rise for quite a while now. https://www.babycenter.com/getting-pregnant/preparing-for-pregnancy/what-are-the-risks-of-having-a-baby-if-im-35-or-older_3127 https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db152.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:40 PM
6

Lol you can absolutely get pregnant in your 40s. Certain risks are a little higher, but many women choose to get pregnant later in life - with or without using medical assistance like IVF, freezing eggs, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:26 PM
2

I’m all for these new technologies as I just think it’s incredible the things we now can do - particularly that same-sex couples of women might be able to have biological kids. However, I don’t think ANY of this means that technology will “replace men” in any significant capacity. These technologies might cost less over time, but they will never be cheap. Most people will never have access to them, and that’s assuming that they’d even have the desire to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:12 PM
–

I suppose I’d go with what they do. We’re all human, and we all have 100 different needs at any given time. Thinking about them doesn’t fulfill any single one of them on its own. If I can only have strictly one or the other, then it seems like a no-brainer to me. Like for your example, what good is a musical genius if they don’t make music? Is someone with great morals in only theory worth the same as even moderate ones in practice? With my choice, I’m not worried about a partner making a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 06:26 PM
–

I can’t agree on a personal level with you, but I also don’t view you any differently for choosing that way is all I mean. I view being shallow as similar to being selfish - there’s a certain amount that is reasonable, but past that is too much for me. However, I don’t think that there’s necessarily anything wrong with it inherently. Like you can be “selfish” for choosing to spend a day alone rather than with friends - or to spend your money on your own meal rather than give it to a homeless per…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 01:16 PM
–

On a personal level, I totally agree with you! I would never want a partner like that either! But do you think that someone like that is going to date someone unlike them? I find that the most shallow and egotistical people I know find people very similar in personality. If that’s what passes for happiness for them, why would I try to stop or shame them - even if I disagree with their choices?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 12:55 PM
–

I think there’s definitely a point where it becomes shallow, but so what? I won’t demonize someone for prioritizing different things than I would. But I think if you are shallow and picking someone just based on looks, then the chance that you’ll pick out a partner just like you rises.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 08:57 AM
2

Meh, I do think we’re never the best judges of ourselves in general. But still, there’s a big difference between doing something good and getting some benefit vs doing something exclusively for that benefit. And I can’t say I understand your choice on that, but whatever, that’s fully your choice if you want to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 02:09 PM
2

Idk man. If people aren’t concerned enough with that ideal enough to ‘enforce’ it or abide by it themselves, it’s hard for me to take it very seriously. Regardless, there’s a world of difference between a man who becomes a great doctor because he wants to make a lot of money and another man who only buys dinner because he wants his date to put out for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 01:20 PM
2

That’s what it sounds like when you and other women go into this fake vs real nice guy distinction, like it actually matters. If being “nice” isn’t a defining attractive trait, then none of that really matters. Surprisingly enough, what’s real does matter. You know how many people care about even materialistic things being real vs fake like luxury brands, shoes, pokemon cards, etc. We attach value to what is genuine - often doubly so when it comes to, y’know, people. not something women primaril…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 01:17 PM
2

Has anyone ever suggested that “kind” is the defining trait of whether or not someone will like you? People are multi-faceted, and I know not one person who chooses a partner based on one sole trait. Obviously, a person should be other things in addition to being kind. But being kind is obviously going to be preferable to being awful to others when comparing those traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 12:23 PM
1

That’s a pretty dismal view, and I can’t say that I agree with you. I won’t pretend that you can’t do a good thing while getting some personal benefit, but doing that thing exclusively for that benefit makes me question whether it was really ‘good’ or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 12:19 PM
3

Pfft idk man - maybe nonviolent. But in a world as fucked up as ours, I’d say it takes great mental strength to stay kind in spite of everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 12:15 PM
0

Bruh, not all of us want to be Princesses or some other bullshit. It’s not in any way ‘kind’ to pretend to care about someone so that you might get your dick wet. And further, being kind doesn’t only mean being kind to us. A lot of women pay attention to how men treat service workers as a way to filter out men for instance. Edit: The best way to see how “kind” a man truly is - is to see how he treats people that he doesn’t want to sleep with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 10:57 AM
2

I think there’s always some misconception about ‘nice guys’, because there’s always been two types - the genuine and the not. One is a healthy person who is kind but can also set boundaries and respect other’s boundaries as well. The other manifests as typically a doormat or a liar (only kind or your ‘friend’ because he wants to sleep with you). I assume the vast majority of women would prefer a genuinely kind guy over the ‘Nice Guy’ or the one who is outright an asshole. Sure, there’s a lot tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 10:18 AM
–

My phone won’t let me watch that without downloading tiktok, and I ain’t doing that lol But anyways, while I totally agree that there are too many men approaching women incorrectly, the solution isn’t just banning men from ever approaching. If you think they resent us now, then hoo boy, they’re really gonna be frustrated and hate us then. Best solution (in my opinion) is to simply talk to them. Give reasonable and realistic advice on things like when we are okay with being approached or how it s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 06:26 AM
–

I don’t think they need to be any more discouraged at all. I absolutely think there’s a time and a place for them to cold approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:49 AM
2

I don’t doubt that at all, but that’s a pretty sad way to go about love/relationships, isn’t it? Not that that’s really their ‘fault’ for feeling that way, but is that sort of mindset going to lead them to feeling truly happy - even if they find someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 05:54 PM
9

For me, it’s mostly just a problem of not being given space physically when I ask for it. I don’t mind hanging out most days. But still, I don’t always get a day just for myself as it is with work and all, and inviting someone else into my life means giving up more of my time obviously. But at least once or twice a month, I like to have a day fully alone. If I ask for that, and a person isn’t okay with it, I know things won’t work out. If a person truly values my feelings, they’d understand that…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:55 PM
10

I can understand why men can get clingy, but it becomes a problem when I ask for space - and get none. I have no doubt that there’s suitable men for me, but I’m also happy on my own as it is. If we happen to meet, then great! But I’m not seeking anything out now is all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:46 PM
18

Honestly, I tend to like more feminine types of men - who are comfortable in their skin being just that. I like video games, reading, art, and hiking, so I love that I can often find those types of men liking at least two of those things generally. The downside is that I find most of the men I like tend to get ‘clingy’ a bit too fast for me, so I don’t particularly focus on dating anymore. My ‘terms’ aren’t about money, status, or any of that bs. For me to really consider partnering with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:27 PM
–

One of the things she was charged with was “tampering with or fabricating physical evidence”. So yeah, police should have done a better job of investigating, but I’m assuming it wasn’t strictly ‘he said/she said’. The evidence she had was just faked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 12:49 PM
-2

It roughly evens out which means that… People are peoplin’? That most people benefit from some shared set of rules and organization? That it’s not actually a women vs men issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 10:47 AM
-1

Riiiight, and nothing says ‘rebellious’ or ‘free-thinker’ like being the majority share of all those big established political parties, amirite?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 10:26 AM
–

I get you, OP. It’s not an easy thing to go through, and sometimes, it’s even harder to talk about it. Just remember that if you do talk about it, make sure it’s actually for you and your benefit - rather than to appease someone else. And take care of yourself, OP. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:10 AM
–

It’s not right that anyone would shut you out for being a victim. You are completely entitled to being able to hold the same boundaries as anyone else. But what’s there to lie about? I’m confused what you mean on them feeling “lied to”. You don’t have to tell them anything about it specifically, just that you need space and aren’t comfortable talking about those sections of your past.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:39 AM
7

If we lived in Nazi Germany, they’d be pushing national socialism and racial purity. Lol are you just going to ignore that the vast majority of Nazi party members were men? Like nearly 70-80%? That’s a weird take in general, and an even weirder example you’d choose to support it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:34 AM
2

perfectly reasonable to focus on [moral character and a financially stable home] Moral character? Duh. But if you need someone to provide a home for you (or vice versa) or your kids (planned or existing) - that puts someone in a vulnerable position or power imbalance. ”rich modern Westerner” vibes I’m not suggesting that no relationship has no needs involved. But passport bros aren’t exactly known for seeking out well-educated or well-paid women, so y’know, that’s why most women aren’t totally c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 07:36 AM
5

Would you rather be needed or wanted? Which would make you feel more secure? Keep in mind that if your partner is only with you because they need you for your money, home, etc, then there’s always someone else who has more resources than you, and they might leave for to pursue that. On the other side of that, it can be exploitative if someone decides to control/limit the resource that the other partner needs. But if your partner simply desires you, they just choose you over everyone else. While …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 06:39 AM
30

If she doesn’t need him for what he has - just wants him for who he is, then that’s great honestly! That’s what a good relationship should look like, isn’t it? So yeah, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman here who’d disagree on that. The attitude of “foreign women are better” is still weird to me, but if they’re both happy, what do I care?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:20 PM
1

Not a rape fetish, and never said it was y’all’s problem, bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 04:47 PM
1

It’s like the cat argument with the stove I like to think I have more awareness than a cat lol. I get your point. But again, I don’t hate men, and I won’t generally avoid them or assume anything about them either. This question can be answered objectively with evidence The question is “would you rather…” so it is inherently subjective. You can use whatever evidence to support your logic, and that’s a-okay! But you don’t get to decide what other people would rather do. moral judgements This has n…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 04:26 PM
1

I appreciate that, but still. You’re acting like there is an objective answer to a subjective question. If you read my original comment, I even stated that the likelihood of anything happening with either bears or men is incredibly low. But best case scenario, the choice doesn’t matter at all as I would be totally fine. Worst case scenario, I would be mauled and killed by a bear or alternatively, I would be injured, raped, and killed by a man (so I’d choose bear as the lesser of two evils). I ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 03:48 PM
0

You’re surprised that a “would you rather” question has subjective answers? I’ve explained my reasoning behind why I answered the way I did (in my original comments and in response to someone else’s comment). You don’t have to agree with me, that’s okay. But in the best case scenario, it doesn’t matter at all what I choose. In the worst case scenario, I’d prefer the known outcome of being mauled and eaten.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 02:44 PM
1

Do you think that the worst case scenario in which a man is in the woods intending to do harm - that he wouldn’t be armed with some form of weapon?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 02:14 PM
2

It’s not to “pwn” you, it’s just to explain why I feel the way I do. I don’t have a reason to hide my history.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 02:10 PM
4

The bear. I already made another comment on the main post itself that better explains my views in general. This was my reply to this person in a scenario of hungry bear vs psychotic cannibal rapist, and why I’d still choose the bear. The chance for a terrible encounter with either the bear or the man is very low though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 12:41 PM
-2

Well, considering this is a question of opinion - not fact, I don’t really need to “prove” my point at all. But I’ve never run into an issue with bears whereas I’ve been molested/raped by 6 different men and 1 woman. So yeah, I’ll take the bears, bud. 👍🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:59 AM
-5

Show me where in the post I said it would be likely for a man to want to kill or rape me. And for the record, I have gone hiking and seen bears before - even a brown mama bear with 3 cubs. Never had a problem with bears yet - never even needed to try to scare any away.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:49 AM
8

Bear is hungry So maybe I bleed out to death as he eats me - maybe quickly, maybe slowly. The bear has no other intention in this scenario you gave other than to eat. At the very least, maybe enough of my body will be found so that my family can have some closure as to what happened to me (although, maybe not). Besides, bears typically don’t want to fuck around with people, and I stand a chance of scaring him off and being left alone afterward. Man is psychotic cannibal rapist Sooo I’m gonna go …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:18 AM
1

I can understand sharing private info about things when they do affect your life. It’s when it doesn’t affect you, that I think it actually crosses the line. Granted, I don’t think any of that should be posted on social media though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 08:28 AM
2

I would choose the bear. In all likelihood, I would be totally fine either way, and so the choice wouldn’t really matter. But still, in the event of a worst case scenario where I do happen to encounter a bear/strange man. I think I have a slightly higher chance of scaring the bear away by making a lot of noise. And if I can’t scare either away, then so be it. I might die by being mauled, but I’d rather die than be put in a situation where I wish I were killed. I can’t predict what the worst a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:33 AM
–

Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are both equally valid problems and should be treated accordingly. However, I think the reason that toxic femininity isn’t spoken about because it’s more subtle than toxic masculinity. Most people probably don’t know the phrase or couldn’t immediately think of examples of what that looks/sounds like. You don’t have to be in a relationship with a woman like that, just as I wouldn’t choose to be with someone who is toxicly masculine or feminine either.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 09:46 AM
–

Hmm not sure about fully going through the cycle again, but maybe! I guess I view it as any ‘success’ tends to snap you more towards the middle of the curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 08:48 AM
–

I absolutely agree! That’s a great way to look at it. Most of the time, rejection is just not really about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 07:11 AM
–

Hah fair enough! I’m glad it was that easy for you then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 07:04 AM
–

Sure, but was that always the case for you? Did you not care at all the first time you asked someone out?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 06:45 AM
–

I was only really talking about dating apps specifically here. But I imagine it’s probably a bit the same on both sides IRL. Some of which, I’m cool with (like unisex bathrooms) and others I’m less cool with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 06:06 AM
–

I totally agree, OP. It’s maddening when I go to a place designed specifically for women to meet women, and it’s a sausage fest. I like men, too. But if you are putting yourself specifically in women’s spaces, it’s an automatic ‘no’ from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 05:20 AM
5

I’ve never rejected a man (or woman) in a harsh or humiliating manner. I get that rejection sucks in general, and I would never aim to make that worse. I’ve only asked out a handful of people, but still, I know what it’s like to be romantically rejected even if I haven’t necessarily experienced it as often as most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:20 PM
1

Hah thank you! I can understand that, yeah. But really, you’d be incredibly hard-pressed to find a person who isn’t insecure in one form or another. There’s nothing wrong with that in itself. It’d be absolute nonsense to expect that men need no assurance or validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:59 PM
2

I totally get that. I’ve been in monogamous and open relationships. Cheating exists in both - even if the boundaries that constitute that are different. Like for my open relationships, I don’t really care if I have a girlfriend who wants to fool around with others. That’s totally fine! But if she intentionally hides anything about it, prioritizes them over me, or it gets emotional rather than just physical, that crosses a line. A night at a bar can’t really tell me if she’d cross those lines or …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:40 PM
2

Fair enough! I might personally be more a fan of open relationships for myself, but I could see the sense in that test for a monogamous one. I wouldn’t ‘test’ a partner, but I also don’t view that as inherently being controlling either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:19 PM
3

Someone who is a bad tipper for servers or bartenders. Yes, I know the restaurants should be paying them a fair wage, and that they’re using you(r tips) to get out of it. It’s not the server’s fault though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:15 PM
5

So she’s responsible for the act of going to India? Okay, sure. Doesn’t mean she’s responsible for being raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:18 AM
4

Women who consciously freeze up For one thing, that is not a conscious choice. While I agree it’s better for more women to say “no”, men could also pay attention to body language. If a woman has to focus more on verbal language, why shouldn’t a man focus more on her body language? There’d be a lot less confusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:25 AM
5

touching is a fairly standard part of human behavior Sure, but y’know, you can pay attention to someone’s reaction to being touched. Do they look uncomfortable? Do they immediately pull away? If yes, then y’know, don’t try to have sex with them. And there is a huge difference between making normal eye contact and staring intensely. it’s unreasonable to draw this conclusion Idk man, it seems pretty reasonable to me. We still charge people with manslaughter even when they ‘didn’t mean to hurt anyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:23 AM
2

Sure, but I only experience one side of hetero dating. I can’t know y’all’s perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:14 AM
4

I don’t think it’s about women wanting “plausible deniability”. But to be fair, women do have to toe this weird line in the middle. Because even if something happens to you like being raped, you will be asked questions on one side like “well why didn’t you say ‘no’, huh?” Yet on the other, you might get comments like “look at what you were wearing! You were asking for it.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:09 AM
5

Yepp. It’s a bit horrifying to me tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:04 AM
8

Can you give an example of how a man might intimidate you with body language? (1) They can dominate the physical space around you (like those people who always stand too close). You take a step back, they take a step forward, and soon enough, you find yourself in a corner. (2) Invading your personal space - touching you (doesn’t have to even be sexually) (3) Big and assertive hand gestures like waving around, banging on the table, etc. (4) Staring intensely (generally makes everyone uncomfortabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:03 AM
5

I get that these situations can be iffy. Some men are just naturally big and have those kinds of features, and conversely, some women are just naturally small (like me). I would suggest that women focus more on learning good verbal communication, and have men focus on body language. Men and women communicate almost on different planes from each other sometimes, but if we could better understand and communicate with each other, it’d be so much easier to avoid any sort of miscommunication or encou…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 08:39 AM
3

I don’t know what women you’re with, man. I’ve never slept with a woman who wasn’t enthusiastic about it. Maybe that’s a difference between bi/les woman vs straight though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 08:06 AM
8

I wonder if I could If he used his size as well as verbal/body language to y’know actually intimidate you, then probably yes. you know what a metaphor is, right? Yupp. You mean that a victim shouldn’t be able to escape their responsibility/accountability for the act. But a victim has no responsibility for the act. Arguably for their side of what led up to it before. But there is no reason for a victim to be held responsible for their rapist’s actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 08:05 AM
6

I can understand to some degree, but that’s why “enthusiastic consent” has been on the rise. If someone is not enthusiastic about it, just don’t do it. You wouldn’t have to be a mind reader for that. And if this woman dissociated, do you really think the man that had sex with her anyway just couldn’t tell? I agree it’s best to learn proper communication skills. Women should focus on better verbal communication, and men should focus on learning body language.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 08:01 AM
8

If they did not act in a way that would reasonably be known to instill fear Well that’s assuming that (1) men in general ARE aware of all the ways they can intimidate a woman by body language or repeated demands or that (2) certain men who know this wouldn’t take advantage of the fact that they can use their size/body language to intimidate a woman because of the fact that it’s harder to judge guilt because of body language vs actual violence, isolating someone, etc. A predator can be ignorant (…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 07:49 AM
31

I can semi agree with you on the first half. I’ve had tipsy-drunk sex before without regretting it or having felt taken advantage of. If someone is too drunk-blackout drunk though, then obviously that’s rape. And good lord, you lost me on the second. Coercion relies on fear, and if someone makes you afraid, you’re not really of a sound mind to consent freely. They don’t need to have already hit you or directly verbally threaten you. If you “agree” to have sex out of fear, that’s not consent. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:26 AM
14

While people might change slightly with time, their foundation generally remains the same. So, I believe that red flags tend to just get revealed with time. You never really stop getting to know someone, so you’ll always be discovering new things about your partner - good and bad. Most red flags won’t ever come until you reach a situation that actually brings it to light and puts someone to the test with true stress, or conversely, when you move in together and see how someone acts when they’re …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 03:48 PM
2

That may very well be a possibility also. But how much does it matter if someone plays dumb or is dumb? (I know that’s not the best or correct phrasing here because it’s not actually dumb to misunderstand. I’m hoping you get my point though.) As for other stuff like not understanding a woman’s signals, that is a big issue! I get why men don’t like nonverbal communication, but there are absolutely reasons why women do signal or communicate a lot non verbally.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 11:59 AM
6

I used an example in my other reply - chores. If I were to say “the trashcan is full”, any woman I’ve ever dated would understand that as a request for help in taking it out, and I interpret it exactly the same way. But any man I’ve dated doesn’t seem to understand it the way we would. But my current (male) partner might make that same statement, and I’ll immediately get up to take it out. After I do, he’s said “why did you do that? I was going to.” For us, it feels like there’s just no point in…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:58 AM
1

doesn’t mean that you ‘communicated’ said thing well it’s not about what you think It’s was clear enough to literally every woman I ever dated. No miscommunication, no complaints about it not being polite. all the more reason to not mock or belittle the argument, right? I didn’t mock his feelings or his points in any way. The argument is pretty objectively silly as again, he even said so right after I got him to chill out. you’re not convincing anyone you’re a good communicator Show me where in …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:50 AM
1

Again. Communication is about… Again. I am aware. And I also said that I do have to alter my communication style for men. Which means both that I’ve (1) acknowledged the problem and (2) am working on it. this is indirect and passive communication No shit, but it is communication and many people do use it believe it or not. Sure, I could stop and say your exact script for asking someone to take the trash out, but if I’m busy already, I’m probably not thinking about how to ask something in a speci…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:58 AM
3

In this example, you saw no need to communicate certain things. Correct - because I mostly dated women and they DID understand those things. I have to alter my communication style for men though. I don’t know if this is something all women would agree with Fair, but you’d never get all of any group to agree on something. This was a question for women, and I gave my personal answer. This might not have anything to do with communication… [just chores]. Disagree here. If I were to say “the litterbo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:25 AM
5

I’m aware of what communication is about. But you only find out later whether or not everything was communicated correctly. For women, a lot of things are understood by saying relatively little in a lot of situations (like regarding chores for instance). And as far as taking offense, it doesn’t make sense to me to take personal offense if what I’m laughing and joking about is the argument that I also actively participated in. It’s to point out that what we’re both talking about is absurd and may…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 06:52 AM
6

I won’t say that women communicate badly - just very differently than men. As a woman, I’ve dated both men and women. My relationships with women were typically better because we had similar communication styles. But I notice that when I date men, there’s some miscommunication. There’s things that I don’t think need to be said because it seems obvious to me, but if I don’t say it, my partner won’t pick up on it - but in similar situations, it’s not been a problem with women in my experience. Or …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 06:33 AM
2

1-2 weeks is nothing You’ll often be able to find some red flags within that time or see how pushy someone is. This time however, yes it wasn’t enough. the difference was that he was attractive I’ve already said he was an average dude that I was interested in for other reasons. If you’re hung up on his appearance, then that may say more about you imo. BASIC INTERNET SAFETY Sure, but that won’t prevent the 80% of sex abuse that comes from people already in your life so that really doesn’t answer …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 03:30 AM
2

The difference between him and a man on the street was not goddamn attractiveness - but the fact that we had been talking for 1-2 weeks. He wasn’t pushy and showed no red flags in talking, so yes, I did give him the benefit of the doubt. Men would be fine if women were simply cautious around men… Please enlighten me on the exact level of caution needed to properly vet a man then. They’re all innocent up until, y’know, the point they SA or rape you. Like 80% of sex abuse is committed by men you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 01:23 AM
5

You don’t know what their intentions are until you truly find out. So sure, if I somehow knew ahead of time that he specifically wanted to murder me, then yes. Anything else would have been a better choice. But if his intentions were to sexually assault me (which I was correct in guessing), then it is arguably safer to not escalate the situation by angering him or putting him in a situation where he might panic and shoot to prevent me from running to someone. When I realized the real danger I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 02:16 AM
5

If your actions enable an unfortunate situation, you have played a role. I am responsible for MY actions, yes. But my actions do not dictate his actions. My response to his threat and assault does not make me responsible for what happened. If I were to run away, would that have made me responsible for perhaps being murdered? Or do you only feel this way about actions that you deem deserving of victimization?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 10:58 PM
7

That’s fair. But you can’t simultaneously say that AND it would 100% be his fault. Sure I can. Why would someone be held responsible for another person’s actions? Yes, I could have done things differently, but had I the fortune to meet anyone who was not a predator, nothing would have happened regardless of what I did or didn’t do.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 10:19 PM
7

Did he not raise you to be more cautious? No Who is y’all? Not me. “Y’all” being the significant population of men who act like women are acting irrationally for being afraid or extra cautious around men. This whole bear vs man trend is an easy place to find men of that mindset. I assume he was so hot… Not really. I hit it off with talking to him, and we talked for 1-2 weeks before we made plans. I’d only really dated women, so admittedly, I was curious about men. He was a pretty average guy, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 09:57 PM
6

I do have a dad amazingly enough, but what does that have to do with this? Was he supposed to warn me of the dangers of men - the same dangers y’all so often try to disregard? Or do you assume I was just so desperate for male attention that he was just the first hot guy I saw online? (He wasn’t.) I was young, and at a high point in my life where I felt stronger and more confident than ever. I wanted to go out and meet people since I didn’t really get out or date much when I was young, and I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 09:19 PM
3

You’re not wrong. I didn’t know what would happen had I reacted differently, but I was pretty sure that I would walk away relatively unscathed if I just did the bare minimum without a scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 09:09 PM
31

I absolutely think it’s reasonable. Self-preservation instincts are in everyone one way or the other - fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. All are reasonable even if each individual response is not ‘correct’ 100% of the time. I may have an extreme sort of example here, but I think it’s relevant to this discussion and it happened to me. When I was younger and in the Marine Reserves, I met a guy on Tinder - some guy from the Air Force who seemed pretty cool. I made plans to go to the bar with him, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 10:26 AM
2

I really don’t care that much about it. I wouldn’t mind using a men’s restroom or men using the women’s restroom. Better to let them use a toilet vs the floor or their pants. Also, I get the uneasiness to some degree when we’re used to it being a ‘private’ space. But if you’re worried about someone being a creep, then that’s an issue about the person who’s being a creep - not the place. Creeps of both genders use the bathrooms of their own gender every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 12:38 PM
11

I totally agree with you, OP. But I would like to add an interpretation on your final example of advice on “making friends with women”. I recommend this to men who struggle with dating because many get so nervous around women. It’s like some men view any form of interaction with women as though you must be advancing a relationship for dating/sex while avoiding rejection. But when you interact that way, you put a lot of pressure on yourself, and you will often come across as disingenuous anyway. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 08:10 PM
4

Eh, several reasons. What she might try to take could be comfy, sentimental, or just smell like you (any or all of these at once).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 09:09 PM
6

Ehh. I don’t think it’s a blanket men vs women thing here. Some women get over it quickly, some don’t. Some men get over it quickly, some don’t. I think what does help you to get over someone quicker is just going no contact, and faking it til ya make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:43 PM
-1

sexual exclusivity/controlling the sexual dynamic I didn’t address this earlier primarily because it’s not exactly unique to a marriage. Most relationships are monogamous, and if you feel like a woman is controlling you through sex, why would you 1) get married and 2) stay married? I don’t want that to sound like I’m blaming men for staying around toxic or abusive women, but I believe most marriages happen after a couple has been together for 3+ years. That’s a lot of time to notice that red fla…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 06:07 PM
1

too odd to acknowledge there are structural flaws I didn’t dismiss that there are certain things in a woman’s favor such as child custody, child support, etc but those are factors in a divorce - not marriage. less than half of married men are happy Well, you quoted earlier that it was 70% of divorces were initiated by the woman, so logically that’d suggest that women are the ones who are primarily unhappy as compared to 30% of men. marriage is structurally disadvantageous I disagree. Marriage in…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:41 PM
1

Marriage is a personal thing, it seems odd to try and make blanket statements about it and why it’s not worth it for men. It might not be worth it to you, but there’s plenty of men who are happy in their marriages still. In a good marriage, all of those things you listed can be major benefits, but it’s also completely understandable if you don’t want the risks of divorce and the fallout from that. Granted, I think the key difference in whether a marriage lasts and stays happy is a couple’s appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:13 PM
–

I’ve got mixed feelings here as a woman with a porn addiction. I first found porn at age 7, and it’s had a strong foothold in my life since then. It is a real and serious problem, but most people don’t really understand it - for men or women. I agree totally though that it is a phrase that’s tossed about too loosely. Most people just enjoy porn and that’s okay. But I do think that there is some responsibility you have there, too. It’s not strictly “porn vs relationship”. As much as I understand …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:31 AM
0

Lmao what? Do you think men don’t also own pets? It’s nearly 50/50 for owning pets or not for either gender. Owning a pet isn’t a replacement for having a child. People just like animals, and that’s okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 02:42 PM
1

Yes, because anti-depressants/SSRIs are prescribed pretty commonly to treat some of the symptoms of menopause like hot flashes. Those medications aren’t exclusively used for depression, but still, women are more likely to seek help than men anyway. With those two things in mind, it’s pretty obvious why women are on more anti-depressants than men. That’s not a bad thing in itself, and it certainly doesn’t mean that women are struggling just because we’re childfree and single like you want it to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 02:37 PM
0

Are you suggesting that women are more depressed than men? Cause male suicide rates say otherwise on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:55 PM
0

Well, I assure you that being single and childless is not a punishment to a great amount of women lmao. So call it that if it makes you feel better, but plenty of us are happy this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:46 PM
2

So, I do think there’s a couple general rules to go by for approaching women in public. The first being about location: only approach when it’s a place to relax or socialize. If I’m somewhere that I need to be to get something done (like work, gym, grocery store), I will be far less receptive to whatever you say. But if I’m in a place to chill out, I don’t mind talking to new people - that may very well be why I’m in that place. The second rule is to make your approach as pressure-free as possib…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 07:01 PM
11

Not every woman cares about height, some might even prefer someone closer to theirs (like me). And no, not all women think all others are beautiful at every size. I like women, but I know I’m still more attracted to more fit women. I’m just not an asshat to other people if I’m not interested in them. You can cry about women’s vanity, but men are equally guilty. People stay peoplin’.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:08 PM
10

I’m not. I get your point. Rejecting someone over height is more unfair, yes. But so what? There is no fairness in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:49 PM
17

Based on like zero people really agreeing with you here, I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that not many people really give a damn if you don’t date fat people. Someone who views you as an asshole because of your opinions on their weight won’t want to date you, and you clearly don’t want to date them. Same situation with rejecting/being rejected by someone over height, too. So what’s the point? People think you’re rude by rejecting them over weight? Then a good idea is to just not mention w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:34 PM
19

Again, I get your point. But still, there will never be true ‘fairness’ in dating. You can compare these things, but why bother? Go after who you want, pass on who you don’t. Everyone else will do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:22 PM
15

It may be discrimination, but what can anyone do? Force you to date them? I get your point, OP, but there’s really no argument here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:03 PM
–

Right, and if their military isn’t necessarily competent and/or capable anymore… then why would we use American lives to directly fight them on the ground? While I don’t personally agree with the way we use drones and all, it’s 100% the main way we’d try to fight anyone now. Even if we fought against China. There might be technically more men fighting in the ground troops, but the main force is in the skies. But anyways, I think we got a bit off topic from OP’s post lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 10:11 AM
–

Sure, but again, we don’t fight wars in the “traditional” way anymore. We use drones & airstrikes more than anything. Here’s a link to the minimum and maximum estimates of just civilians the US has killed through drones/airstrikes. We might technically use them for HVTs, but the US also doesn’t care that strongly if we take out other people. Also, drone strikes aren’t technically considered an act of war, so the US can use them with far less caution than we would need for ground troops or other …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:57 AM
–

Okay, and I was a Marine MAGTF Planner. Less than 10% of the military ever sees combat. There might be plenty of troops on the ground, but the vast majority will never see combat, yet alone participate in it. Most of the military is support roles. Semi-related, you should check out this chart and see just how few deaths there are in the US military is from hostile combatants or terrorists as compared to literally anything else. https://dcas.dmdc.osd.mil/dcas/app/summaryData/deaths/byYearManner
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:39 AM
–

For one thing, OP wasn’t talking about a wartime scenario, just day to day social life. Like women not feeling like we need a man to walk us to our car/home for example. But to your point, most warfare isn’t fought by ground troops nowadays (which admittedly men do have an advantage at physically). Most is fought through drone/airstrikes which doesn’t exactly require a big, strong man to do, and it’s only going to get more and more prevalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:17 AM
7

Absolutely, sexual assault is traumatizing. It’s weird as hell to me why anyone would try to debate whether or not that trauma is “legitimate”. It is. It sucks. Society in general just doesn’t take it seriously enough especially towards men. You’re absolutely right in that it gets treated like a joke. I’ve never heard of a guy lying about it to get attention though. However, I’ve heard a couple of men tell me some deeply horrific story, but then they’ll try to tell me “yeah, but idk if I was rap…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:07 AM
-1

Well, sure. But like I said, there’s a difference between being emotionally open and treating someone like they’re your therapist. One is great, the other is exhausting
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 03:45 PM
2

I disagree. But there’s definitely a line somewhere between being emotionally vulnerable and treating your SO as a free therapist. I think people of both genders sometimes treat those as being the same, and that’s bad for everyone. However, I do think men are typically worse about finding that line because they tend to not be a part of as many supportive social circles as women are (whether family, friends, therapy, etc). To me, the men that I want are open about all their emotions, but don’t pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 10:22 PM
2

Ehh I’ve got mixed feelings on this. I somewhat agree with your sentiment that it’s not empowering, but I also don’t view it as derogatory either. And like it or not, sex work WILL ALWAYS be present in the world for as long as people exist. People like sex, and we all gotta work somehow. We can view it as ‘dirty’ work or whatever you like, but that’s more a reflection of our own judgments and morals than anything. And unfortunate as it may be, it is often desperate women who turn to sex work to …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 05:31 PM
3

For sure, yeah! Honestly, it surprises me to see posts like this. I usually would recommend more women to approach men lmao. I know it won’t always work out, but I’ve always gotten the impression that I can get closer to a relationship I want if I actively go after it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 11:04 PM
8

To start, they weren’t just trying to get a quick lay (which is obv like bare minimum, but still worth mentioning). But they’d start trying to plan dates (and pay), getting lil gifts for me, taking an active interest in getting to know me. Idk fairly standard kind things, I’d say
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 10:34 PM
4

Depends on how interested in me they were lol. Most treated me very kindly. A couple seemed more along for the ride. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 10:26 PM
5

Well, I am definitely curious as to who/how they approached men? Like, I’m a pretty average looking chick working an hourly job and driving a beat-up minivan lmao. I’m not a huge catch, but I rarely get turned away or dismissed completely. Even if I offer to buy a man a drink, he might turn me down, but he’ll ask me to stay and chat (or maybe buy me a drink lmao).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 10:01 PM
7

None of them treated me badly at all, and I’m still friends with a few of them
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 08:54 PM
7

Hard disagree. I’ve asked men out several times, and I’ve at least gotten a date with them like 80% of the time. I highly doubt that most men are so intimidated or turned off by a woman making the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 08:30 PM
7

I generally agree with that for sure. I definitely think it gives you more opportunities to meet women at least. Much easier to do if you’re not always working lol. But still, if the amount of time that women pay attention to you is of minimal difference when wealthy, then I wouldn’t be flashing your wealth for any extra minutes personally. If I were a wealthy guy, I’d definitely be worried about attracting the wrong sort of person. I figure that’d be better to keep that on the DL until you find…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 05:30 AM
23

I think it’s more the lifestyle that would make it appealing - like being able to afford vacations to other countries and whatever other luxuries you can think of. But still, I don’t personally find money to be that important when considering someone as a partner if they at least keep a steady income to support themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 02:26 AM
3

If you’re just trying to make a comment about women, then I think you missed my point, bruv.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 07:58 PM
16

I think there’s more lonely men for sure. Women tend to have more supportive connections - whether through friends, family, work, therapy, etc. I think men are less likely to take the initiative to seek connections of any type other than romantic/sexual, and even if they already have some connections, they’re still less likely to be open about what they’re feeling or going through. I think most men seek a partner in the hope that they’ll fill all of their needs in one, whereas women would rather…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:56 PM
1

I wholeheartedly agree with this approach. Every man that has given me his number this way, I made sure to text within a couple days. If a man asks for my number, I might give it out like 1/3 of the time. I always feel too put on the spot to make that choice of whether or not to trust him with that info. However, I disagree with your second paragraph though. Approaching irl is the best way to get anywhere for most people. OLD can work, but most people have better success if meeting organically o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 08:21 AM
1

I can’t say I particularly care either way. Do whatever makes you feel more confident!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:39 AM
2

I feel like I know pretty well when a man is interested in me or not. It’s signals from other women that I’m likely to miss lol. I do think that men are more likely to miss any signs or hints, but I wouldn’t say they’re much worse or anything. Just sometimes more cautious if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:22 PM
8

It depends really. Some of my best friends were men that I tried to date at one point or another. Those started as friendships, but at one point, one of us was interested enough to ask the other out. Even though we weren’t really compatible that way, we always remained friends without question - none of us ever thought to ask “can we still be friends?” Being friends was just never going to change. However, if you met someone with a clear intention of dating/romance, it’s a lot less likely to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 08:44 PM
8

In addition to the other replies here (which cover 90% of what I’d believe on this), I think that religious children are often less socialized. I was homeschooled for a time along with my siblings at a young age. A few states away, all of my cousins and almost every single child that went to that church was homeschooled until they reached 18. It may be a pretty small percentage overall that are homeschooled, but still, the only people I’ve ever met that were homeschooled were Christian. If you d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 02:16 PM
1

Lol true, but at least that one has a source stated on the pic. I’ll look that one up soon!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:51 PM
1

Okay, you’ve given me a little more context on that graph than OP did. It’s not about “desperately trying to disregard statistical information”. I’m more inclined to believe that info if I can actually, y’know, read and learn more about how they got it. As far as I had seen, OP dropped 2 graphs without much background and just saying vague, unhelpful things like “checkmate” and “numbers don’t lie”. I’m not trying to suggest that OLD hasn’t shifted the dating game as a whole significantly. But I …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:49 PM
0

I think you meant to reply to OP’s comment instead of mine, but I agree. I know that Match and eHarmony had websites going for like 10 years-ish before dating apps, but still. 20% does seem pretty damn high.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 10:10 PM
2

Ehh depends on who you ask. I’d generally prefer meeting in person, but dating apps have their uses. For one thing, I used to work 12-hr overnight shifts. My chances to meet people during that time period where much more limited. I wouldn’t get rid of them, but I just don’t recommend keeping it as your primary method of meeting people if you have other options.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 08:54 PM
4

I can understand that. To me, it comes across as a little infantilizing being pampered like that. I don’t mind opening my own doors, paying for my share, or walking myself home. I don’t want to be so taken care of. However, I will say that there’s some women who would appreciate that so much more than I would. I will give you a heads up though. Because that is far from the norm nowadays, you’re likely to run into a couple issues. The obvious being that someone might be more than happy to take ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 08:18 PM
2

It depends on a couple things. The first being - what do you define is a chivalrous act. The second being - what kind of woman you’re trying to date. Something like bringing flowers or little gifts to someone is always great - but not expected today really. Most women will appreciate this to some degree, but I’d keep it a small gesture. As far as opening doors, it depends how you mean. Opening a door to a building is just a general polite thing. Basic politeness is just generally expected and wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:55 PM
1

Can you tell me where you actually found this graph? General percentages given with no sample size or any other data or explanation aren’t the most convincing to me. Edit: I made a graph on my phone to support my point here. Hope this helps, and I hope you find the source of the graph you posted. I was genuinely asking lol. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:09 PM
5

I think people overestimate the effects of OLD. If it’s the only method you rely on meeting people, then yeah, you’re probably gonna end up more than a little frustrated at one time or another. But most people simply don’t rely on OLD. But still, it can serve its intended purpose of introducing people to seriously date if you’re lucky. The longest relationship I’ve had lasted 3 years and I met them on Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:03 PM
74

Ehh I wouldn’t mind if new gyms were made like that specifically for people who are more comfortable that way, but I don’t think gyms in general need to be separated at all. I do think it’d be nice if they banned filming in them though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 07:24 PM
1

Because it’s either that or not get them at all for most men. Not a lot of unsolicited vag pics going around in comparison lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 04:22 AM
1

I can’t really speak on losing control or how that feels. But I openly acknowledge that women are guilty of shit, too. They might not take it as far as men do, but I do believe they instigate shit more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 11:06 PM
1

I do totally agree with that unfortunately. Men have a stigma against getting help for a lot of things - DV from women is definitely a major one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 03:30 PM
2

I’m somewhat in agreement with you. Nobody knows your own capabilities like yourself though. So if you hurt someone, you are responsible to some degree. However, the person who instigated shit in an interaction is always more (if not completely) at fault imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 03:27 PM
10

(Admittedly, I am drunk. Please excuse any errors in grammer or thought lmao.) I have mixed feelings about this. Being a woman who dates both men and women, I will freely acknowledge that both sides exist on a spectrum of good vs shitty behavior. I do think that women can more easily get away with shitty behaviour like SV/DV- which is obviously horrible. But that same article that you posted (3rd link) shows that men are the primary ones who inflict actual injury towards their partner. Men do ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 12:24 PM
-1

Meh okay, sure. But what do you want me to do about it? I already don’t care about a partner having a degree, and I can’t change other women’s preferences. So you can either go to college (if you haven’t), wait for society to change (hoping it’s in your favor), or find a girl who doesn’t have that preference (likely someone who also hasn’t been to college). About 40% of Americans don’t have any (whether a 2 or 4 year) degree at all, so you still got a decent number to work with. Plus, again not …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 04:37 AM
2

Lol welp, I did set myself up for that response, eh?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 04:08 AM
1

Pfffft what? Do you expect me to fuck the 99% of men in spite of their “tiny mistakes and silly things”? There’s absolutely some dealbreakers and red flags that’ll get a guy passed over - some more dramatically obvious than others. After that, preferences come into play. You might feel more strongly about some rather than others, or if a guy goes against too many of those preferences, oh well. It’s a pretty common human experience to think, “hey I like x, y, and z… but I maybe I can only really …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:05 AM
10

Like I said, he’s gonna have a hard time, but he’s aware of that. But if that’s what he wants, then why shouldn’t he go for it? He said they’re not absolute dealbreakers anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 10:34 AM
2

Ahh I’m sure you have so much experience dating as a woman lol. Preferences are preferences, that simple. Some will be kept, some things you’ll compromise. Same as men do amazingly enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 09:16 AM
13

Then it sounds like you’re on the right track! Best of luck to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:52 AM
22

Eh it’s not unreasonable really, and I do respect that you hold yourself to the same standards. With that being said though, you’re gonna have a hard time finding someone like that who’s in your age range. Like someone else said, church is probably the best way to meet someone like that, so hopefully you’re religious too lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:50 AM
21

Ehhh the only women I know who prefer a man with a degree are ones who have degrees also. But even then, it’s a preference - not dealbreaker - as far as I can tell. Honestly, I think the bigger impact that not going to college has on your dating life is for the social aspect. School is just one of the most common ways that people meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:35 AM
4

Well, I’m not gonna say that it’s a particularly easy way out, but absolutely, both sides are struggling for their own reasons. And there’s still a stigma against getting help (particularly for men obviously).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:08 AM
2

I’m well aware. I’m not suggesting that men are way more depressed and women are doing hunky dory. My point was that the person I replied to shouldn’t invalidate half the population’s opinions and perspectives just because some women take anti-depressants.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:05 AM
9

Taking anti-depressants isn’t the gotcha you think it is. Women are just twice as likely to seek mental health treatment than men. Men have a greater stigma there when it comes to asking for help. It doesn’t mean that they’re so much happier. Men do commit suicide 3x more often than women after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 03:36 AM
2

A lot of the things that make a relationship worthwhile are things I can have to some degree in other areas of my life. I have friends I can go hang out with and have fun with. I have a therapist to help with some of my emotional needs. I go volunteering and have creative hobbies which help me feel fulfilled. And sure, every once in a while, I might get a lil kink/casual sex in for those needs, too. All in all, I am pretty content with my life right now, and I’m stable enough (financially, socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 05:14 PM
1

Being horny doesn’t necessarily make me willing to put up with someone else or deal with the possible fear of being assaulted/raped. I might be horny a massive amount of the time, but I’d rather take care of that myself the vast majority of the time. Dick pics don’t excite women because we don’t ask for them 95% of the time, and there’s a big difference between the experiences of one you asked for and one that was just thrust in front of you. (Also, side note: most men don’t know how to take an …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:49 AM
1

Based on first impressions, I’d say I only am attracted to about 10-15% of men my age. Admittedly, I am into more feminine type guys, so little things like being around my height (5’2”), long hair, or painted nails are immediate bonus points in my mind. However, if I have time to get to know a guy through work or hobbies, there’s a 1/3 chance I’ve considered going for something there. Looks are great for initial attraction, but confidence, personality, and mannerisms do wonders, too. Finances/st…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:56 PM
16

I totally agree, OP. The struggles of men and women are just different. Trying to say that one gender has it harder than the other is massively oversimplifying issues, and for what - to find the winner of the victim olympics? It’s pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:11 AM
2

I’m not trying to suggest that it’s easy or not painful. I get that men are faced with rejection in totally different rates and ways than women generally get. That’s unavoidable regardless of what you do unfortunately. I can agree with the general sentiment of your post, but I don’t think the AFBB (in those terms) is a healthy way to think about things. If you look at most of the other men who replied to your post, that’s why. Even if these men can succeed in finding a partner, they’re so demoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:34 AM
5

I won’t pretend that I believe in the AF/BB theory. But it never makes sense to me that people will balk at the options they have if they feel they do fall into the “BB” category. I’d assume that most people’s goal is to find some type of lifelong romantic partner, so why does it matter if you were their first choice or not? If you want something that lasts til the end, it’s the choice they make last that matters. First choice doesn’t matter if it’s followed by a second. Second choice doesn’t ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:16 AM
1

I do see how that could be a factor, but either way, a blank profile or no pics is a bit of a red flag imo. Maybe they’re lazy. Maybe they kept it on the DL because they’re trying to cheat. Neither is good obviously. Both can be a problem with both men and women of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 11:19 PM
2

I think most women see a distinct difference between ‘nice’ and ‘kind’. ”Nice” people are often the doormat types. ”Nice” people usually just do what is expected and do the bare minimum - it’s a passive trait. But ”kind” people have more of an active interest in others. ”Kind” people are the type that might go volunteering or that you know will be there if you call for help. I can’t say that being “kind” guarantees you have set boundaries for yourself… but women do generally recognize both of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 08:32 AM
4

Easy choice for me. I would 100% rather be childless. The thought of have one kid scares the hell out of me, yet alone having several.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 07:40 AM
5

That makes sense, and I totally get your point. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say that women don’t still deal with a lot of shit. “The women’s movement was in part about redressing feelings of powerlessness—physical powerlessness, institutional powerlessness—and the fear and rage that came of it. Rape is still a statistic women live by. And as we make our way in the world, we slink around corners, we maneuver our sexuality with salty care, loosing just enough to be desired, but not too much to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 07:48 PM
80

I’m just gonna share a few relevant quotes from one of the most interesting books I’ve read. (Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent) “When a woman approaches a man armed to the teeth with ulterior wounds for which men as a species are presumptively to blame, the man in question has little choice but to fight back, and when everything he says and does is measured against the front-loaded politics of sex, he can’t help but shrivel or putrefy under the scrutiny.” “[Women] were carrying the baggage of prev…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 02:12 PM
–

Honestly, I usually don’t try to match with them because I expect them to be religious (and presumably way less accepting of my lack of religious beliefs). Also, I’ll admit I can have a hard time hearing through accents in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 07:15 AM
16

I get why women would be annoyed by a man bringing it up - especially if it’s in the early stages of dating like one commenter mentioned. However, I absolutely think you have a right to have a paternity test done regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:32 AM
0

Duh - being attractive always helps, but so does appearing interesting & well-rounded. If a guy is average, he might as well try it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 09:45 PM
4

Honestly, I’d say that most women like to see a nice variety of photos. Like it’s nice to see a balance of pics inside vs outside + of you alone vs with friends + serious vs silly. Plus, it’s an easy way to help show off your interests. Having a well-balanced profile doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is a well-balanced person, but it’s a lot easier to assume they are than the person with 4 pics in front of his bathroom mirror. At the very least, they’ll appear more interesting, and showing o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 09:40 PM
6

I mean it is terrible that there are millions of women who think that way, but there’s billions of women on earth. I think the majority understand it is an issue, but unfortunately, people are typically indifferent and/or lazy about issues that don’t directly affect them. So the main women you hear say anything about it are typically the shitty ones sadly who either don’t view it as an issue or directly contribute to the issue. And as far as your second point, I can’t really agree. I do think a …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 05:56 AM
10

Unfortunately, I know several women that would agree with her, but I do know plenty more that would disagree. We all have bodies, it’s not crazy to think that we will get equally shamed or judged for our appearance. It’s not right either way. I do think women have a slightly different experience than men (that’s not to say better or worse - just different). For most teenagers/young women, it does feel like your appearance is intrinsically linked and is the majority of your ‘value’ as a person. (…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:33 AM
5

I think we are far more similar than we are different. However, I think the main difference between men & women is not about the physical stuff, but more about how we communicate. While we are ultimately chasing after the same things, it still feels like we are on two different planes of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 02:28 AM
1

Nah, it’s not too late. I get why it’d be demotivating to not have romantic and/or sexual experience by that point, but there’s several reasons why that could be the case. It’s not a dealbreaker. I will say though that the only reason it makes me personally hesitant is because your first real heartbreak often hurts the worst. Considering that most relationships fail, I feel guilty knowing that I’d likely be ‘that one’ to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 06:36 PM
4

26F/warehouse/white I don’t hugely care what they think of any of my partners. Sure, it’s nice if my partner is liked, but if not, oh well - they’re not the ones dating them anyway. And if I thought they weren’t a good person & partner, I wouldn’t be dating them either.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:13 AM
2

They were men who wore more makeup than I do if I have to spell that out for you. You gotta let go of this ephemeral idea of “Chad” someday. It was first about looks, then finances, then social status, now back to looks. If “Chad” is only the upper-most level of men, it seems weird that you’re really searching to find a way to apply the title to simply having one (1) attribute that fits your ideal of a man. Next time you go outside, look at all the couples you see. Most of them are going to be r…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:29 PM
3

Bruh, you’re reaching. I didn’t know what their social status was, and frankly, I hardly care. I know one was a cashier at a grocery store, and one was a bartender if I remember correctly. They were not rich men. They were both really pretty, shared a lot of my interests, and seemed like really kind individuals. I recognized one of them from a group I volunteered with before where we clean up trash around parks in the city.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:17 PM
5

Well no shit, obviously they were a type that I found attractive. Which is shorter, skinnier femboy types. Which is pretty much the polar opposite of the “Chad” stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:09 PM
4

You’re making a bit of an assumption there, bud. In my own experience, I’ve been stood up 4 times. Twice by pretty normal dudes, and twice by other women. Nobody was a “chad”. And if anyone was that out of the other’s league, I doubt we would have matched and talked for days. One bittersweet thing about being bisexual is that you see that both sides can act shitty in incredibly similar ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:02 PM
7

Hah of course, women can’t be human beings, eh? But seriously, nah it was the worst. And thanks, but it’s really the women who did this before us that are the ones to really be grateful for. I can only imagine the shit they had to overcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:42 PM
7

Oh, thank god I’m out now lmao. But yes, there’s a lot of discrimination. You will often be treated as weaker, incapable, or like you are just trying to escape duty (doesn’t matter how sick/injured/pregnant you are). Men largely don’t care. Honestly, the saddest part IMO is that the women may even try to prepare you for the bullshit you will have to face. When I was about to graduate recruit training, our senior drill instructor sat our whole platoon down to explain what our future would be like…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:36 PM
10

Yeah, a lot of them probably don’t think about it at all, and the ones who do know it probably never had to have a light bulb moment because it’s so damn obvious anyway. I totally understand how you feel in that. Most of my similar experiences were in the various jobs I’ve worked - particularly in the military. It’s a bit dehumanizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:14 PM
12

Unfortunately, I agree with you there. It’s a shame that a lot of men think this way. Not only is it wrong, but it’s neither a helpful or motivating way to think when they’re likely struggling to date in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:01 PM
30

Women also have jobs, homes, and vehicles to maintain along with schedules to balance. Men aren’t the only ones with a life. Having those things doesn’t make you impressive, they’re just part of being human. You seem to think that women’s attraction is more about what you have rather than what you do. And I get that it sucks being ghosted or stood up, it happens to us, too. Of course I agree that women could be better communicators on a personal level, but there’s no guarantee that the message w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:05 PM
2

Well… yeah. All voluntary social relationships are reciprocal in some way. The world is filled with billions of people who each have 100 needs at any given time - needs which might be physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and soo much more. When you fill those needs for someone, you become more valuable to them (and more desirable of course), and that applies to both men and women. But that value is subjective to every person you meet because we all value people’s traits or skills differently.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 09:50 AM
1

You’ve tried what - the appearance options I listed? If you run out of those, then focus on the second paragraph of improving your value to other people. Or change your approach in how you meet people. There is always something you can do. I’m sure it’s difficult, and I know rejection hurts. But I still don’t believe that anyone is “invisible”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 05:17 PM
0

Sure, we might have a minimum threshold. But being that attractiveness is subjective, different people will look for different things. Where someone isn’t the ‘minimum’ for you, they will be for someone else. And besides that, putting care into your appearance goes a looong way. I know men that would be more attractive if they grew their hair longer and styled it (or some where it would look better cut shorter). Or maybe change their facial hair. Or their style of clothes. Or try makeup too. Idg…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 01:51 PM
2

I call myself purple pilled because I can certainly acknowledge that men tend to have a harder time in dating and deal with certain challenges that women typically don’t. That being said, I do feel like men often get too frustrated, rush to the wrong conclusions about what the problem actually is, and therefore use the wrong ‘solutions’, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 09:05 AM
3

No, this ain’t the olden days. Plenty of women don’t want to be cared for like a child. Whether or not you believe in the validity of issues like the wage gap, the sheer notion of it should tell you that women don’t want to rely on men. If we did, women wouldn’t have had to fight to be a part of the workforce in meaningful ways or have to fight to be able to have our own bank accounts, credit cards, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 07:49 AM
5

Resource acquisition/money = an ability to take care of yourself Fitness/attractiveness = a willingness to take care of yourself Sure, it’s relevant to have those but generally only to the extent that you appear able/willing to care for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 06:16 AM
0

Well, I’m 26, so young is more relative now. But I’m attractive enough to where I’ve not had too much issue with dating and whatever with who I want. Not always successful, but again, that’s why I say that women also need self-improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 05:10 AM
-1

Are you a hot young woman and can speak on what the experience is like? Or have you decided to speak for them instead of actively listening to women? Obviously, being attractive and rich won’t hurt your chances, but those aren’t some primary universal traits that all women look for.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 04:25 AM
6

The top most important things to get a superficial woman are looks and money. Fixed that for ya. Ask any normal woman and they’ll be able to list plenty of other things that are more important to them. We obviously want a man who takes care of himself and can sustain himself financially. Above that is just a bonus.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 03:57 AM
5

I highly support the idea of self-improvement for both men and women, but I honestly think many people focus on the wrong things to improve on. Most men hear “self-improvement” and focus on just looks/money instead of the type of things that genuinely make you more interesting and/or more valuable to other people. If you struggle to find a partner, a great question you could ask yourself is “how do I become the type of person that a _____ woman/man likes?” Know that if your premature answer to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 03:11 AM
3

I do think it’s best to meet in person generally, but I know it doesn’t feel any easier and those rejections you face will hurt worse. But still, I think it’s worth it. But one thing I highly recommend to anyone trying to find a partner is to envision the kind of person you want in your life. Think of the things they might be passionate about, and find ways to put yourself into the same social circles they might be in. Want a party girl? Go to clubs. Want a bookworm? Go to bookstores or join boo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 09:13 AM
0

Well, I am a woman who likes both guys and girls soo boring Like everyone else here, it depends on how you mean it. Anything can be “boring” or “exciting” depending on who you ask. If I find their hobbies to be boring, it might be more difficult to be with them but I won’t say it’s an outright dealbreaker. timid I definitely have a preference towards timid guys, but for women, I like them to be assertive. funny Not being able to make me laugh is a dealbreaker however. I don’t take myself or anyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 08:49 AM
1

I was a tomboy then, and I still am today really. I have an odd relationship with femininity (as far as appearance) due to the way I was raised. With that said, it did feel like a divide when I was elementary age. By high school, it didn’t matter so much. I was still mostly friends with males but all my female friends were very feminine. I was still insecure around them, but I at least knew by then that this was a ‘me’ problem. All that to say, nah, I don’t think feminine girls have anything aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 09:11 AM
3

Lol it’s really not that different. What makes you think men and women are motivated that differently in this?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 08:01 AM
1

People meet in bars, (social) clubs, other classes, volunteering, concerts, mixer events, etc. The ways you could do it are limited by what you’re willing to try. Honestly, what I would do is to just envision the kind of woman you want in your life and what she might be passionate about. Think of where she might like to go to socialize or relax, and make a conscious effort to go to those sorts of places. You want a woman into sports? Go to games. You want a woman with the kindest heart? Go volun…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:58 AM
1

“Most” is a pretty bold claim there. It’s a significant portion, but let’s not pretend that meeting in real life isn’t the main way people meet. And especially if you have trouble presenting yourself through OLD, then you shouldn’t rely on it. OLD should be something you do on the side rather than the focus of your dating efforts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:15 AM
1

Online dating is always going to look skewed vs actual dating. Online dating is a few pictures and a very limited space to display yourself. So is it a surprise when the best pictures and the most positive, well-written bios get liked more? (And even after that, ‘likes’ doesn’t always mean dates or even worthwhile conversations.)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:07 AM
9

Yeah, that could totally be true! Frankly, I don’t see how the relationship went matters in regards to what she does after it anyway. The main thing that bugs me about this post is how differently men vs women might be seen here. If a guy went out on half his nights meeting and/or sleeping with women, he’d just be a Chad which most men here either loathe, admire, or both (somehow). But if a woman goes out to meet men, she’s insecure and desperate apparently? Like nah, we’re not that different - …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:13 PM
48

What makes you think that it’s desperation and insecurity driving their actions? If a man goes out that often to meet women, do you find him insecure or confident to do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 10:32 AM
2

That’s presuming that (1) souls even exist and (2) that it matters if it’s ‘dirtied’ or messed up. Standing by while people die is similarly not some great act of compassion.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:13 AM
1

It’s wishful thinking to believe that we can just raise everyone to be non-violent and expect it to go well. Plus, there’s situations that may be worse if everyone just decided ‘nope, not my fight’ and walked away. For instance, look at the mass shootings we have. Think of how it’d be even worse if nobody ever bothered to confront the shooters. (I’m not trying to turn this into some gun control debate, I’m just sayin’.) “You can't truly call yourself ‘peaceful’ unless you are capable of great vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 05:18 AM
4

100% yeah. Like before that happened, I had fully intended on giving him my number and asking him out for drinks one-on-one. It’s just amazing how fast some men will burn their chances and blame you for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:45 AM
11

I wholeheartedly disagree with the notion that being creepy is tied to how attractive you are. Recently, I was at a party and chatting with a guy I knew as a vague acquaintance from work but who was very much my type appearance-wise. We were getting along great initially by playing games and chatting. But after a few drinks, he would not stop trying to touch and grope me, and that’s pretty damn creepy no matter who it could’ve been.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:09 AM
1

I disagree with those things being valued the highest today, but they obviously never hurt your chances. As I said, we now have the greatest freedom of choice, so it’s such an individual thing today. What we value shifts from person to person. For example, a physically active woman will tend to value the physically active men more. A woman who wants to travel will likely value a multilingual man more than one who can only speak one language. A woman who has ideas of a dream house is going to val…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 10:03 PM
2

I think this whole argument is mostly based on nonsense and assumptions. I will never understand this “all women go for the top 5% of men”. What makes you think that what is top 5% for me is the same as the top 5% for the next woman? If the only things you’re basing that ‘rank’ on is physical attractiveness (subjective) and financial/social status, then you’re missing so much of what will actually help you find a woman to date. The bar for dating is continually shifting, but that’s not a terribl…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 04:29 AM
0

I don’t get all the hate for this really. Without context, who can truly say if this is a good or bad thing? Sometimes, timing just doesn’t work out because one person is already in a relationship, has other issues going on in their life, long distance, etc. We can argue and say well, what if she’s settling for him or using him? But what if they’re both happy? Y’all get so twisted up about not being someone’s first choice and think that’s such a terrible thing. But y’all forget or don’t realize …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 11:43 AM
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