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Fawn001 Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by Fawn001 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I had the exact same conversation and that was the end of it. See you solicitor and get your affairs in order but don’t do anything rash in the interim or confrontational- play it cool. After two years, i realised and happy single them in a loveless marriage, even if there was still a degree of respect
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 10:04 AM
2

Sorry to hear that it is tough going. I have a 7yr old boy and twin 6 yr old girls. Separated for 2 yrs. 50/50, but do a 2-2-5-5 split. So ex gets Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are mine and then alternate the Friday to Sunday. This split works for us and gives us every second weekend off but likely change to week long stints next year. What works for me: Morning ice bath (5minutes out of my day but helps my head a lot) Coffee and journal each morning Kids lunches are made the night …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 08:38 AM
4

I did it for 6 months and it sucked. I ended up doing the majority around the house as she fell off the wagon for a bit. But with young kids, you end up having to grind through it. What helped for me was exercise, ice baths, stopped drinking (except with close friends) lots and lots of walking, seeing my therapist, leaning on friends and family, etc. But no matter what, it sucks but I’d also temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 11:18 AM
4

Surprise divorce from a 12 yr relationship with 6, 5 & 5 yr old and a 6 month old house built to satisfy her. Kids were rattled for 6 mth, i was rattled for 12 mths but now 18 mths apart and i see it as a blessing ever day. My opinion is to try to stay in a relationship if both psrties want to put the effort in to maintain and improve the relationship. Once one party no longer cares for an extended period of time and isn’t likely to change, not much point staying in it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 12:49 PM
1

Im 18mths post divorce and 12mths in separate houses. Kids, 7M, 6F and 6F 50/50 split. Its easier solo parenting half the time then being in a failed relationship where you end up doing most of the chores and working full time. Its taken a while to get to this point, but i now think of the divorce as a blessing. And the important thing is that the kids are doing well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 12:28 PM
1

We told the kids (6,5,5) together in a logistical way and they been pretty good, but are a but younger than yours. My stress before telling was insane but wasn’t anywhere near as bad as i thought.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 11:46 PM
4

So true. You dont miss what it was, you miss what you think it could have been.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:09 PM
9

A tale all to familiar. But a chance to be free! Theres only one thing worse than being unexpectedly divorced and thats staying in a loveless marrage. For many its the loss of what it could have been, not what it actually was. So try to see it for the gift that it is. So get out there and do the stuff that makes you happy as no one will give you a medal for holding onto your misery.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 10:23 PM
5

Sounds like my ex, although she maintained her looks and grooming but no sex or affection for many years. When she finally moved out, the house was soo much cleaner with way less effort.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:43 AM
3

I have a 7 yr old n twins about to turn 6. 50% cudtody n work full time. My ex didnt do much around the house before the split so isnt much of a change. But what has helped is working from home more, saying no to more things outside of us four and structure. I meal prep a fair bit, so theres always lots of heslthy food on hand. But its still really hard at times and so need to go easy on yourself and the kids. Identifying wat can slip and wat cant also helps. If u find it hard, that means ur try…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 01:01 AM
1

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but women tend to be more social creatures than men. In my experience they tend to catch up with friends more often than men. But if you are after more social interaction, pick a sport or hobbie that needs people to work and you might find them more friendly than comparable hobbies or sports that are done solo.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 05:54 AM
3

I have younger kids so went with a 2-2-3 split initially then a 2-5 split which is currently working.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 08:28 PM
1

I had nightmares, initially every night but slowly less until no more after 6 moths. But 18mths out n i can’t remember what they involved, although my dentist notuce a lot of teeth grinding.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 10:29 AM
2

Its the death of the nuclear family and tough as many people are raised that this is the best way to live, myself included. But you can reframe it into something positive, foresure. For me, it is a blessing and a curse, but as time goes on (and i put in the work), it feels like a blessing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 09:34 PM
2

Told mine kids last year a few weeks before she moved out (co habitated for 6 very long mths). They were aged 5, 5 & 6 at the time, but felt like they knew something was up. It was a tough period in the lead up but a relief to me once they were told. Good luck, but i dont think u need it
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 09:08 AM
10

Thats rough, but you have to be glad youve been free of her for the past 2 years - imagine if youd still been together.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 03:13 AM
–

This is a great response. Some meditation, regular exercise and healthy diet will also help. It is also important to be gentle on yourself. When journalling write down what you are proud of has helped me. Again, great response.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 09:28 PM
2

I have Xmas eve alone and the get the kids at noon on Xmas day- appreciate that i have it better than most and i dont have to deal with former inlaws! But i was thinking of volunteering somewhere on the Eve.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 11:04 PM
4

I had one at the ex request a few months before she left.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 08:49 AM
6

I struggle with this also, although having kids helps. I dont think there is any big purpose beyond trying to live to your values and do what makes you happy. So suggest sending some time identifying those rather than some overarching purpose. Life is lived in the little things, rather than some grandiose purpose we think will rescue us from our lack of direction.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:17 AM
3

After surviving the first year, how does a person find purpose? For me, that seems harder than the survival stage!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 01:41 AM
2

It sucks, but you have a good reason to be messed up and hurting. So dintw yourself up for how you feel. Do some box breathing like others have said. Then focus on doing all the small things that help as they add up making a difference. For me, i swapped whiskey n wine gor herbsl teas during the week, insense around the house, healthier diet, lots of walking, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 10:35 AM
2

I head that, it sucks but you need to slowly work through it. Be kind to yourself, eat healthy, exercise, find a hobbie, improve your relationship with your kids, journal n work on your mental health. Once you feel mentally stable, start dating. Most importantly, be kind to yourself- its a really tough time, so give yourself a break.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 07:41 AM
2

OP, for me it felt the same but over time i came to realise i was missing what could have been rather than what it was. I suggest fighting for 50/50 custody, putting ur energy into ur child and working ur frusyration out at the gym
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 04:35 AM
1

I was told i love you like a brother and dont want to be married to my brother. We have young kids, so needed to keep things amicable. Plus, hating someone is hard work and im too lazy to bother with hating.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 08:46 PM
1

Id do everything you reasonably can to salvage the relationship with an emphasis on reasonable. Its a balance between bring a patsy and a prick. But also work on yourself, so you can be a better dad, self love and thenna better partner. If seperating is still the best option, then it wont destroy you as bad as it can.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 02:03 AM
3

I feel the same way. Went from a house of 5 (kids 5, 5 , 6) to a houee if one for half the time and its hard. Whats helped me is - online gaming with a few friends a couple times a wk. - wieghted blanket n luxurious bed sheets - journalling - etc. Early on, i did a lot of exercise during the day so i fell asleep exhausted as i wasnt ready to face the emotions. After 6mths, i was over the initial shock and with a gd support team (friends, family, therapist), i started to face the grief slowly. Bu…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 04:02 AM
1

That sounds similar to my situation, seperated 14mths ago, 50/50 kids of 6 yr old boy and 5 yr old twin girls. We agreed on the asset split over a few beers and i then had my lawyer write it up and her lawyer review and after a bit of haggling, finalised it and then sent it to family court. All sorted in about 9 mths. What helped was staying civil and playing nice, talk to your lawyer as early as possible, agreeing to custody and asset split as quickly as possible- it may be amicable now but no …
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 12:03 PM
6

Great reply mate, hit tge nail onnthe head for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:19 PM
2

Its better to have tried and it fails, then it failing because you didn’t try
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 10:42 AM
1

Im 6mths living in seperated houses with 50/50 split of three kids 5, 5 and 6. Its chaos when i have them and lonely when i dont. Exercise outdoors n online gaming with friends is working for me, but those loneliness birds are still circling
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 01:48 AM
2

Like others have said, get an lawyer and file. Treat it like a business transaction as thats what it is wrt assets. It will be best for both of you- dont leave a crack for her or her lawyers to get their fingers in as it only helps the lawyers fees. Once thats done and your protected, greive and work on yourself. You can enotionally support her a little bit afterwards if thats what you need. Although a clean break may be better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:36 PM
6

The daddy dont go phrase was a tear jerker. For me, my most important values were on being a good father and husband. My divorce up end my values, my sense of worth and wat i thought a successful life looked like (ie married, kids, house in burbs n bbqs). This was the greater loss and cause of struggle , than the marriage breaking down. Maybe time helps but i think i need to reconfigure my values and wat a successful n happy life looks like as a single dad. Just my afternoon rant that might help
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 07:18 AM
2

Tough situation to be in, sorry that you have to deal with it. What needs to happen will depend on where you live, but suggest getting some legal advice.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 01:20 PM
5

That sucks mate, but as per many other posts, it gets better or at least easier with time. On the days you dont have the kids, go for a walk. When you have the kids, give them alm of your energy. When they are not there, get yourself ready for them and use that as ur current purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:11 AM
5

Sounds your youre doing a great job, buts its hard work and takes time The ebb and flow of emotions is normal- i like to think of it as weather, you cant fight the storm, but it will pass and be nice for a while before the next storm comes and so on. I used to fight the tough days by trying to control my emotions. This worked for a while before id crash into a depressive episode. For me, when im feeling down, i go for a walk in nature until ive processed the feelings a bit. Usually an hour walk …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:07 AM
1

Ive wondered the same thing as a 47 yr old engineer, fit and healthy
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 12:07 PM
3

As others have said, the kids will know. Parr if a parents role is to teach your kud what a healthy relationship looks like and that everyone deserves respect and hopefully some happiness. Doesnt sound like you can teach them that in the current situation. Ps- sorty to hear about it.def sucks
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 11:32 AM
4

Gd work mate, Sounds like you have your priorities right
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 12:43 PM
1

First few weeks were full of nightmares n crap sleep. After 2-3 weeks it reduced to every second night. After 6 months it was down to one night with nightmares n crap sllep every 3-4 weeks. Interestingly (for me anyway), at a dentist appintment about 2 months post seperation, the dentist noticed i had started grinding my teeth in my sleep and recommended reducing my stress levels or start wearing a mouth gaurd. At the next appointment, ud stopped grinding my teeth.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 10:48 AM
3

Great post mate, appreciate you taking the time to share it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 12:42 AM
2

Sounds like your doing grest. Thats a real tough age. if people were honest theyd probably say they yell most days. Kids blame themselves when yelled at, so make sure you tell them u luv them, the yelling was ur fault, etc. my kids can send me to timeout if im getting angry- which helps
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 09:53 PM
1

Well done on creating your support network. Could you put up a post on how you did this as I and many others might find it useful. Great post OP
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:08 AM
9

Ive kept my wedding ring as it represents part of my story. Im trying to look at the marriage as a period in my life (some parts goid, some bad) that is over and onto the next period.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 09:26 PM
1

Really sorry to her that mate, some people don’t follow the ‘in sickness and health’ part very well. I had stage 3 kidney cancer, kidney removed 2 wks before twins were born in the middle of Covid. Ex was supportive of me during the time, but left once things had settled down and well after I recovered. I think what u are going through would be hard whether u had the divorce to deal with or not. Just focus on yourself and ur recovery, try not to worry about the divorce. Once u beat the cancer, m…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 10:33 AM
3

I’m in a similar situation, final papers are hopefully arriving in a few wks as is the ex moving to her new place. Kids (5,5 & 6) are split 50/50. Telling them shortly. All is amicable but pretty scared but also hopefully for the next stage in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 10:17 AM
2

That’s all u need to focus on. She was probably having a shit week n defaulted over old behavior but forgot she lost the right or control over you. Stay pleasant but look after yourself and ur daughter first.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 09:09 AM
1

Legal services commission in ur state, but just google it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 10:28 AM
1

We need to tell our 3 kids (6, 5 and 5) in the next few wks. We’re amicable, have 50/50 split and houses are 10mins walk apart. Thinking of keeping it logistical only. As they’re too young to deal with anything more.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 09:23 AM
1

I’m going through a similar scenario in Australia. My lawyer didn’t mention anything about that, so I suggest speaking to a lawyer. There community legal centre that help if u don’t have the cash. I’ve been living with the ex for 6 mths n she’s due to move out in two months- just waiting for her new place to finish construction. We had agreed that if we couldn’t cohabitate successful, we would split the rent for a two bedroom unit nearby and rotate in and out of the family home so the kids aren’…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 11:10 AM
1

Agree, My ex moves out in a few months and my goal is to change the feel of the house to mine and my kids. Declutter and redecorate. Let the kids redesign their rooms, etc. Set up herb n veggie garden n the home gym. Telescope on the balcony. Hammock in the yard. Looking forward to it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 09:52 PM
2

Maybe the lack of interest in old or new hobbies is due to your subconscious telling you that you need to take more time to process the trauma from the divorce? I think there is a lot of value in hobbies but we also need to give ourselves some quiet time to process the emotions. At least that’s my current theory,
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 10:51 AM
3

I’m in a similar boat, but now 3mths in. We are still co habituating which is rough but otherwise getting along. What’s worked for me so far is lots of exercise, screaming in the woods. Daily morning ice bath, although morning exercise wud do the same. More time with mates and family. Bite ur tongue around the ex. Put extra effort into the kids, etc. Regarding infidelity, I doubt mine is or was cheating but you never know. But it is also kind of irrelevant. Etc, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:57 AM
3

I’m only 8 wks into my unexpected separation with 3 kids at home. What has been helping me is doing a morning ice bath. I know it sounds cliche but it seems to help me. Also exercise, seeing friends, etc. Spent a day walking around a remote forest hitting things with a stick and grunting which also helped. Hearing that a lot of other people have had similar experiences, both in reddit and irl also helps. But scared what waits around the corner.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:40 AM
4

If you keep the house, make sure you and the kids put a new touch on it. Change the paint, graffiti a wall, do some easy renovations. Anything that you can do to make it your own and take some pride in the work. Have the kids help, so it still feels like theirs. I’m 8 wks into my separation and the circumstances sound the same.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:06 AM
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