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Fearlessfell Archive

View 2 posts and 153 comments by Fearlessfell on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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30

I find it’s the weirdest trains of thought that cause us to snap out of it. My last situation “when he let his best girl friend cut his hair that was it for me” One of my uber drivers told me: “When I worked extra hours on Uber one night to pay for his hooker and he didn’t thank me when I gave him the money, I left” “When he couldn’t bury my dead body underneath a sunny meadow, I realized I’d rather die alone” I almost feel we need to get to a really absurd place to come to our senses !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:12 AM
44

People I know in life have validated these statistics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:23 AM
3

Ugh sorry this happened to you, it sucks. Also, even if we are perfect and don’t spot any red flags, people can do crazy shit, it wasn’t your fault for missing something. This is something I have to remind myself of friends who ended up sucking balls. friends, good friends, give each other the benefit of the doubt. We all have bad days, but not weeks, and definitely don’t accidentally delete people of social media. But as I get older I save that benefit of the doubt for people I’ve known longer …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:21 AM
5

Also ew he sounds awful. If I had this convo with my guy friends (friends used loosely) they would agree with me that it’s disusting. Good on you for pushing back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 09:03 PM
1

Yea I totally respect that 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 01:17 AM
25

So true I was thinking this right after commenting. Tiktok is an echo chamber so I never see the sugar baby pro-kink girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:09 AM
143

These girls are learning fast, I think it’s because they grew up with the internet, their collective consciousness is on a WHOLE different level and I am loving it. I wonder if they have been able to see the downfall of gen x and millennial women who ascribe to libfem, I see so much on tiktok that’s just common sense, not ascribing to one ideology vs another just using critical thinking skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:48 PM
23

I had a friend from college I would describe exactly the same. I used to call him a true gem. Always there for me, he was like family. And then in our late 20s one day he told our mutual friend he loved her. And she rejected him of course. It kinda almost broke my heart weirdly, broke the illusion. He used to say “she’s like a sister to me”. Ever since then I minimized our friendship from close friend to friend I talk to a couple times a year. He’s still a great person and I hope he finds a girl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:38 PM
7

One women rage posted about all the LVM she dated on another sub, she was my gateway to FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:32 PM
11

Can confirm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:27 PM
3

Can’t argue with that! I’m not dating right now and it’s honestly awesome, I have so much time for myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:57 AM
8

I’m happy for you :) this is a great realization you had and I hope it’s liberating. I know it feels sad but you are just getting to know yourself better. It’s not how I feel, I’m moreso indifferent towards marriage. Happy if it happens, happy if it doesn’t. And sure, there’s a chance of getting hurt and I’d be willing to take it because now I know if I get hurt I will leave the FIRST time he hurts me, not the 100th. That for me is the beauty in FDS. But know that when it comes to marriage and m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 01:03 AM
113

Eastern women know what to do because most men back home are narcissists so they get practice from their fathers/brothers/uncles. Also I’ve been taught, you don’t marry a broke man. You don’t move in until you’re married. You don’t do the 50/50 bullshit. Maybe it’s because it’s way more obvious what inequality looks like in those countries so you know you have to take care of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:50 AM
6

Love Nat!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 12:45 AM
39

Lol so awkward being in other subs that shit talk FDS. You can almost guarantee an FDSer is going to be there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 11:45 PM
35

If he likes Charles Bukowski, run
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 11:43 PM
101

I’m reading “why does he do that” even though I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. However I see now, I would have been in an abusive relationship had I not seen the signs and left when the signs popped up. It’s so fucking confusing man, I’m so angry. Reading this is validating but fuck, it’s exhausting sometimes. Being made to feel like you are the problem. I am happy alone. I still believe I’ll find someone one day but damn, days like this my body burns with anger at what women have to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:24 PM
50

This is the content I like to see. YESSSSSSS🙌🙌🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 01:15 AM
36

Ugh my friend in this group chat keeps talking about how her bf won’t propose to her, after like 5 years. It takes every ounce of strength in me not to tell her to dump his ass. Instead I told her about the ring I got myself and said she deserves better than an empty hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:04 PM
51

I know it sucks at 23, but when I started getting older dating older men, some of them acknowledge how much porn ruins your sex lives and they don’t watch it. My ex was more against porn than I was at that time, now I’m against it too. That can change throughout the relationship, but not every man is at the whim of porn, some have critical thinking skills and compassion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:30 PM
18

Love this thanks so much. I’m currently letting my therapist go and I think tbis may be one thing missing from our sessions. First I think I need to read and discover my spiritual framework, which right now is under construction but blooming. The last man I dated initially got me with the I’ve done a lot of therapy. But the morality was highly questionable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:54 PM
14

So apparently this isn’t exactly correct. The vasopressin experiment wasn’t done in humans, it was done in voles, you can read more here Regardless I think the reason it resonates with so many women and even men is it just sounds like common sense. I stand by it! You should date and vet someone before you have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:39 PM
3

Woooow. That fucking sucks screw him. I developed a distrust of dentists because the one I went to all my childhood was a huge asshole who always told me how awful my teeth were and how I needed braces (even though most people said my teeth look just fine) I fought against it and glad I did. And what’s with them judging wearing retainers or flossing regularly?! I floss man leave me alone! I got another one when I moved who was the sweetest old man! Instead of criticizing my teeth he gave me grea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 09:48 PM
8

EWW gross! My dentist made a mistake with my teeth and had to fix it, I don’t think he handled it well. Our teeth are figuratively cleaner without them. I still need find a new dentist to literally clean them tho lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:22 PM
26

I feeeel you. I went through an angry phase where I swore off dating. Still kind of am honestly. But during this time I realized my friends were LV and I should have vet them more properly before engaging. And then I realized my parents were pushing my boundaries and gaslighting me, thankfully I corrected this and they respected me. My boss is a major LVM and I needed my eyes opened about this. So I guess what I’m saying is that vetting is becoming a part of my life. I’m no longer giving out ben…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 05:41 PM
37

Don’t internalize this message, it won’t serve you well. Instead of assessing him, ask yourself why you were okay with a player bopping around and not settling down. This line of thinking will allow you to break the cycle. But be easy on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:58 PM
52

Yea at that point I’ll just have to use my intuition and vet for a long time. Forever really
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:54 PM
154

WOWWWWW, ok I’m for sure not doing OLD anymore. This just shows these apps don’t care about enabling bad behavior. I don’t want any part of this. Thanks fir sharing this really is the last straw for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:19 PM
12

Some lessons are learned with a toothbrush in your... mouth I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:49 AM
4

Looks like you dodged a bullet! And you did everything right, good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 08:39 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:30 AM
2

Idk if this is what you mean but I’ve noticed Indian men see white women in this strange light. Perhaps fetishization, perhaps putting them in a pedestal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:29 AM
173

A lot of guys talk, which is a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 08:42 PM
23

Really interesting because I met a Eastern European guy once who did the exact same thing to asian/south Asian women. It’s weird because he knew that Western European men do the same thing to Eastern European women, but that wasn’t enough to stop his own fetishization of what he perceives to be even more “submissive”. Apparently every woman he’s dated since adulthood has been a minority, huge red flag. I hope women aren’t fooled by him like he tried to fool me, unfortunately many women of color …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:09 PM
7

Now I like bumble even less than before, didn’t know that was possible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:48 PM
18

Ooh I love it!! I just got myself a stack too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:08 PM
18

He ended up getting drunk one night with a girl who said she loved him months prior, and he said they weren’t friends anymore. Broke up the next morning when he had a hangover :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:21 AM
8

Oh gotcha thanks for clarifying, it makes waaayyyyy x1000 more sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 12:12 AM
42

“Lately he’s not been lifting a finger to help out with my daughters at all” sure sounds like inability to parent Edit: looks like we’ve got a pickme on our hands (or a man). The block button never felt so good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:28 PM
11

Wow who the hell does this woman think she is, clearly projecting. This is like every post on r/JustNoSo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:25 PM
15

Same thing with me. I came here from a decidingtobebetter post from a woman who posted here who wasn’t a fan of the comments she got... I came here to investigate but stayed lol I can see how our opinions here can seem angry, and I’ve actually been banned for a few days or had my posts deleted. It doesn’t surprise me that that happened, I was probably just spewing things I’ve heard again and again and again on like r/relationships and it wasn’t welcome here. I’m glad I was able to reflect on why…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:07 PM
23

If you want to do it go for it! This is moreso for others on the fence. We are in a literal pandemic and if it’s bad where you are I wouldn’t risk it, just wait a few more months. If you need the push not to do it, this is your sign. Things I’m doing besides dating: - curating my wardrobe - reading books - making sd plans with friends - exercising Also I’m in the US where there’s a lot of political unrest, which is also present elsewhere in the world. People, men, are proving to be dangerous and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:14 PM
30

Ew, years ago I used to think oh I don’t need a big ring or anything, I just want to marry someone good That was when I didn’t make any money, but now, the cumulative price of the jewelry I wear on me is 2k, that’s the price of entry my guy and you gotta top it if you want to make it into my life. Also buying nice jewelry does not have to bankrupt you, this man clearly did not try. My dad is the cheapest man alive, but he recently got me this gorgeous 18k thick gold bracelet that I know was on s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:57 PM
10

Love that! On that note, I think im going to ask the guys I date in the future what they think about certain things “what do you think about what he did to her?” Instead of me offering, otherwise he’s just going to cater to what he thinks I want him to say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:46 AM
39

I really wonder what goes through these ladies minds. To each their own but I could never do it, like ever. And I really just wonder what you’d have to think to be okay with that... Also I feel like I could and would never say this to anyone or in any other sub. Some of my friends even do sex work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:32 AM
22

I haven’t dated for 9 months and it feels amazing. I think I’m ready if I meet someone in person but OLD is done for me now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:30 AM
17

This is not what FDS stands for, if you feel this way about men, it’s better to just ignore them until you heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 10:02 PM
3

Absolutely not. I just bought myself hundreds of dollars worth of diamond rings and earrings, my man will too if he wants me hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:56 PM
1

I’m so scared of this I almost don’t ever want to date white men because if this racist mysoginy. But then men of my own race are culturally mysoginistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:57 PM
33

Eww how rude is he!! Good for you for standing up for what’s right, the reason he and she brought it up to you is that it’s normalized in society to shut up. I was watching a movie with my brother and his wife. (Idk if my brother is HV or not but my opinion is that he is a HVM stuck married to a pickme too young so she encourages him to behave LV (“you don’t have to call me everyday babe, I’m not like other girls” “babe don’t buy me flowers anymore you know it’s wasteful I don’t want them”)) Any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:55 PM
3

I think I was only able to have “male friends” during my pickme days, I can’t do it anymore. My good guy friends have all been demoted to occasional friends I talk to a couple times a year to catch up, we will NOT talk on a weekly basis because you honestly might fall in love with me or want to fuck me and I do not need that validation. And yes FWB are just a no go. I’ve never seen it work and I’ve never attempted it. I put myself squarely in the “girlfriend material” category and once you do, y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:58 PM
2

There is a difference between being brainwashed and being a pickme. Glad you got out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:54 PM
1

I think if this works for you great. I personally haven’t online dated since March (except once and it sucked) so I feel you but I know for other women, it’s not the same. To each their own. If some of us HVW are on dating apps, there’s likely some HVM there, albeit a very low percentage. There’s also such a thing as finding the right match for you. I think what you’re really trying to say is, it’s going to be a waste of some time. I do agree with that. Women on OLD right now need to expend ener…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:50 PM
10

This is what I’ve learned this year. We say we do it for happiness but if we’re being honest we do it for the validation we think they will give us, otherwise we wouldn’t be resentful. We need to stop with the breaking off an arm and leg and giving it to men. When we are in a truly loving relationship.. is when we spread this type of love freely, knowing it will grow the collective love present already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:42 PM
14

This is extremely good advice that I wish I knew sooner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:24 PM
49

I’m so glad someone here recommended that book to me, golden
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:11 AM
20

The MIL point you make is so big, that shit ruines marriages
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:16 AM
2

I guess strangers don’t owe you loyalty, but I’m certainly allowed to think that stranger is a piece of shit who won’t get far in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:31 PM
3

Gotcha :) thanks for sharing your opinion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:37 PM
5

Oh interesting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:07 PM
8

Yup and I can’t believe I used to think it was a real thing. Nope it’s made up just like the other half of society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:02 PM
23

If your friendship is vulnerable to LVM, it probably wasn’t going to last anyhow. I’ve learned this the hard way hun it’s also why I don’t really have bffs anymore, just close friends. Good luck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:01 PM
16

I get this but for many of us this may just be putting way too much energy into men. I feel that energy may be better spent just not dating now, these men will find some short term pickme for a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:58 PM
30

Also I bet many of these men still live with ex’s.. beware
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:56 PM
2

Happy for you! Yea I also find it so strange when parents don’t really see the damage they’ve done, they can only really see all the sacrifices they made for you and maybe one day when I’m a parent I’ll understand that. I once tried to talk to my mom about how her neglect with my brother bullying me really messed me up but she honestly had no idea that was happening lol I don’t think I’ll bring it up again, I’ll just talk to my therapist about it. I’m not trying to guilt trip her or change our r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:40 PM
18

The book Women who Love too Much, was shocking for me because it allowed me to see the generational curse I need to fight. I highly reccomend it if you had an alcoholic father or mother who was a bit obsessed with the distant pather
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:07 PM
36

It’s weird that movies we’ve all watched have an average man chasing a beautiful woman, really before he knows anything at all about her. Her appearance just is something he has to have, at all costs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:12 PM
14

Agreed! I couldn’t point my finger as to exactly what’s fucked up about him (Bc I do get his point) but this is it. Perhaps a HVM would have politely let her go without ever mentioning the OF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:02 PM
40

I’ve been off dating apps for more than 6 months, I’ve never felt better. I’m convinced their use is strongly linked to anxiety/depression as well, for me at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:59 PM
1

I would not say she’s grossly misinterpreting it at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:14 AM
4

Love this response :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:10 AM
1

I now see my past self having male friends as me being a pickme trying to gain power through patriarchy. It’s clear to me now when I see other women doing it too. I now have one male work acquaintance and one male college friend. I cut out the “friend” that I had loose boundaries with, I don’t hang out with my coworkers as friends anymore. My college friend, I limit my contact with him as much as possible so he doesn’t get any ideas. I really used to believe men and women could be friends, in th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:05 AM
38

Same! Appreciate you putting your experiences here :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:22 AM
12

Reading through this, I realized I still have to unlearn the thinking my parents and society have taught me to be low maintanence, to not crave luxury items, “it won’t make you happy you know!” But it’s not about making you happy, it’s also about putting up some invisible boundaries to LVMs. It’s also a reinforcement of value like you say. A road block I’ve had is that I’ve always wanted to remain unattached to my items and that’s still important to me but I can buy high value items for myself a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:16 AM
23

Oh yea I remember when this was being circulated widely, it really struck a chord! It was also a very good gauge of who in my life was and was not a pickme. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:54 PM
25

Combining 1 and 2 don’t look so good. He lost his right to stay in the country because of visa issues? And when you guys first met he tried to propose? 20 is very very young. Are you sure he wasn’t trying to use you for citizenship purposes? And now that he can’t have that he’s losing interest? I say this not to stretch, but because these situations are very common for unsuspecting YOUNG women. You might not have had the skills to tell at 20 years young. I’d read the handbook and reevaluate. FDS…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:00 PM
35

True I would never really have a convo like this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:42 PM
18

I used to not feel this way until the man I dated who would say “if you want” later blamed me for taking him away from his work so much since I was always the one “wanting” fuck that man child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:41 PM
12

Wow very interesting. My biggest pickme friend is dating “an amazing man” right now but she said the reason him and his ex broke up is because his ex was always “jealous” apparently there was a friend in particular that his ex always “accused” him of trying to get with. And that friend was her friend lol I see now that I could be in this situation with her so I’m going to be wary of any invited to hang with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:54 PM
138

He’s actually a comedian but his jokes really make me squirm because he’s just pointing out what other men really would do and HAVE done. If I was his gf I wouldn’t be, I don’t tolerate jokes like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:30 PM
21

I definitely agree! I was also getting angry watching that show and I honestly think that’s what they were going for, to show how fucked up society was AND STILL IS. What I don’t think the show intended was the fucked up toxic relationship between the main characters as you say. The one with daddy issues. Their relationship basically started out with them using each other. But she wasn’t honest with herself and her needs, as most pickmeshia aren’t, and fell for a LV man whose actions just don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 09:05 PM
16

Love this idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:59 PM
63

Agreed, if it were me I’d be embarrassed for him, “oh wow thanks for letting me know, I want nothing to do with someone who clearly had no values, thanks and goodbye” scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 06:25 PM
7

The fact that your gut said something means you’ll have to reconsider dating a man with children. I’m sure women with children understand this happens every once in a while, they are his responsibility after all and unfortunately there’s not much he can do about that. But for me (and maybe you) I’m not interested in being second fiddle when I still have ALL my freedom. I’m not interested in being limited if my bf has a child. Same goes if my bf has a job where he has to travel a lot or something…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:39 AM
10

I get that! I think you can enjoy that era while acknowledging how there were problematic roles for women! (Virginity, no sex education, men who sleep around, arranged marriages) I used to be obsessed with pride and prejudice. I thoroughly enjoyed the show! Especially the modern spin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:46 AM
2

I agree!! But also I binged that show so fast and did enjoy it! Im just glad I get to view it through my FDS lens and don’t have to absorb the shitty values and roles for women they encourage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:43 AM
7

Oh gotcha yes I agree. It’s really annoying whenever people find out my dad cleans or takes good care of the animals, they gush over it. But they fail to recognize my mother is the true leader of the house and we would be nothing without her. Idk it’s one of the reasons I don’t want an Indian husband... the awful terrible in-laws I hear about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:40 AM
25

While I found the show entertaining I was very dissapointed by the messages being spread too!!!! She chose a duke over a prince?? Bc she wanted to have sex with him? Typical pickmeisha, going after the man that can’t provide her what she needs. And then forcing him to have her children. Oh and his behavioral problems are a WHOLE other LVM issue. And all the women around her telling her to settle and that she’ll get over her NEEDS eventually. Her pretending to be happy with a life without childre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:55 PM
13

Hmm I’m not sure what you mean by my “expect”? Yes men doing housework is the norm. It’s always been the norm in my family growing up anyhow, my dad does nearly all the cleaning. I guess I just take that for granted because it’s not the case for most other homes, especially Indian homes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:48 PM
2

Agree! Instead of being resentful after the fact, it’s much better to just not do the therapy next time! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:25 PM
17

I’m also Indian and I agree I’ve rarely met a mature Indian guy. But this girls husband seems to have done something nice for her. Not anything to brag about excessively, but it’s certainly something I’d expect my husband to do for me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:23 PM
13

Women could to send you pictures of their LVM so you can describe them as they are... 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:08 PM
17

I know someone who is about to do this and travel to meet the guy. For some unspecified reason he’s unable to come to her. I feel bad for her honestly that she’s wasting her precious time with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:05 AM
8

wonderful reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 04:32 AM
6

Wow Its interesting to hear from someone who has that “validation”. But it’s also good for me to hear it isn’t worth anything because those people will continue to find problems with people who don’t stoop to their level. I’m sure that future awaits me so before then, I’m going to work on surrounding myself with HV people, which is going to involve cutting some family out. Keep doing you!! And excited for you to have a successful and thriving career, for yourself 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:32 AM
68

I’m sick of people telling me I’ll never find someone. Part of me what’s to find the most amazing HVM to prove to them it’s possible and they don’t have to settle for their cheating men.. But then I remember the answer is being completely myself, not settling for breadcrumbs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:38 AM
3

“I worked hard for this anger” I’ll keep that in mind. I really did. Never is it more apparent to me how hard I worked when I see pickmeishas or I’m reminded of my old ways, SO oblivious to my stupidity and the deceit of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:52 AM
12

People often complain about comments on this sub being deleted or why they get banned so easily but it’s so that you don’t have to deal with people shaming you. It’s more important to have feelings validated. Sorry this person keeps following you! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:26 AM
7

I was waiting for a post like this here!! I was thinking of FDS the whole time I watched season 4. Poor Diana wouldn’t have been exposed to such ideas at 19, rather being brainwashed by society but she sure did learn all of FDS principles by her death sadly too late to enjoy the freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:37 PM
19

Love this, it really hit me when you compared it to evangelical Christians. I really really believe in these ideals, but I don’t want to be an evangelical because frankly they’re annoying and don’t end up changing anyone’s mind except extremely vulnerable people and that’s problematic. People will learn the things they need to on their own time AND especially when they make the choice to see the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:51 PM
1

My ex told me his best female friend demanded that they hug. “She just loves to give long intense hugs” we broke up soon after that, clearly she doesn’t have any boundaries and he doesn’t see the red flags there. Not my problem anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:22 AM
2

Same, whereas I used to have a pang of jealousy when others moved forward in their relationship, I now feel lucky I’m not in that situation. I know these women know deep inside these men can’t make them happy and the second they stop trying the marriage will fall apart. What I really have worked on doing is not to let my feelings ruin their excitement. I want my friendships not to revolve around their relationship. If I have to let go of a pickmeshia I’ll do that, but if it’s a good friend datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:20 AM
3

I see, that makes sense. Just a space to vent that was taken advantage of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:48 PM
9

It’s fucked up, but I also think it’s important to point out the sheer volume of women, pickmeishas that follow and contribute to that sub. They are the backbone of the continued mysoginy, just as women are in society too. Even though it is initiated by a few fucked up men. I just hope they find the truth. It’s not their fault, it’s the system/patriarchy. It’s just disappointing to know there are that many.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:43 PM
22

I think you’re both right. My reasoning was to save myself some trouble, but turns out my ex thought me not explaining things was a “power move” So from my perspective it was self-preservation, but he interpreted it as my attempt to gain an edge over him. I guess that’s what separates me from a LV person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:35 PM
40

My first ex, when I told him the reason why I was leaving, he can up with a sob story about how my reason wasn’t true. NEVER making that mistake again. Men will lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:32 PM
50

If he was teachable you would stay, you’re leaving because he won’t hear a word you say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:31 PM
30

This is what I did when I broke up with my ex. I’m not even sure why I did it, it was like the survival instinct in my told me not to say a word, because I knew he’d have a fit about my “reasons” He came back to me later and said he was hurt I never explained it to him why I left. Well maybe you could explain to me why you decided to get drunk with a girl who said she loves you, and let her spend the night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:30 PM
4

Yea it really does reflect what happens in society. The sad part of it was a lot of what seemed like women were fighting with each other. I guess you can say they “fell for it” and the man is probably laughing it off behind the curtain. Victimization is a dangerous game. Edit: I’ve only seen like 2 posts that blew up so who knows
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:27 PM
2

Maybe that’s why the few times I was on that sub it always seemed like a war going on..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:21 PM
7

This would make sense...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:41 AM
36

I got banned from that sub for literally nothing, my very first comment. I even tried to be v chill bc I heard lots of people getting banned there. And this was using an account where I’m not active on FDS. It has literally nothing to do with you girl I promise. I consider it a badge of honor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:40 AM
3

Bitterness or fear of men is because most abuse is directional. Men > women. Most violence: men > women. Marital killings: men> women. Most Rape: men > women. If we are bitter it is because our experiences as individuals and our collective soul has been battered continuously by men. It is our way to express the fucking pain and fear we live in. We share some advice so we don’t get trapped in it any more. Bitterness is freedom and I will take that over smiling when a man tells me to smile. I love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:03 AM
2

Oh boy, my brother gifted me Art of War last year, really seals the deal about his LV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:46 AM
11

Bukowski 100% he just loves calling women whores
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:40 AM
3

Wow I’ve never had someone put it into words. Perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:38 AM
8

Wowowowoowooowww ok ok I gotchu girl. Wow I wish I knew that a year ago...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:34 AM
8

Hi question !! My ex loved JP and I always used to be like “oh that self-help guy?” And he’d be like “UgHhH wHatT HeE’s an ACadeMiccccc” What exactly does Jordan Peterson say thats mysoginistic? I’m curious. I never watched his stuff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:52 AM
8

Came here to say this but knew I didn’t have to because it’s so obvious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:45 AM
2

I used to not, but then my ex told me he dated someone 7 years younger than him (she was 19) he had no remorse. NOPE. Then he told me he dated someone for 6 months who was cheating on him the whole time... ok fine but turns out he’s still friends with her NOPE These for me are reason enough to dump someone. This is not a quality man, before or now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:43 AM
9

I’m so sorry, your situation seems really painful. Because you’re realizing you are not who you thought you were, you haven’t learned the lessons you thought you did. But this is better than denial. I think many of us here in this sub have experienced something similar to what you’re going through, some learn faster than others but we have all learned how to use our pain/disappointment/anger/sorrow/self-hate and to turn it into empowerment/self-love/self-respect/boundaries/perspective. That’s wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:40 AM
11

It’s 100% because you are a member of FDS and actively contribute to it. With that being said your comment is 100% reasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:29 AM
1

Ewww he sounds gross! You’re gained dignity in letting him go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:19 AM
12

Some of them, yes. One of them I think was still LV but my pickmeshia ways really pushed him away. I’m glad still because he wasn’t great but him leaving me gave me the strength I needed to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:55 PM
16

There is self-defense and there is violence, it’s up to you to use your gut to figure out which you saw. If you saw unfettered violence I would leave him. Otherwise you’ll be saying, “I never saw it coming, he was so sweet... except that one time with the homeless man...” If you saw self-defense from a potentially very dangerous situation, could you blessings he helped you both leave that situation relatively unscathed. Trust your gut, maybe talk to a professional. We were not there, only you we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:02 AM
76

Personally I see the pandemic as giving me an opportunity to take a pause. Never been more at peace with myself and hopefully I can maintain this when I start dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:54 AM
4

I ordered it too. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for. There’s a man who lives nearby who’s been giving me the creeps. I just want to learn more to protect myself since I live alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:33 PM
2

Yes yes yes! And yea I’ve certainly been under the spell of an attractive man, but I’m grateful for those experiences. I don’t think I could have developed this not giving a f*** attitude without it. The little ways my ex manipulated me were the real heartbreak of my last relationship. I think he thought the world of me, he wasn’t a bad guy like yours wasn’t. My current theory is if a man has lower self-esteem than you do, expect to be manipulated. They, no matter how good they are, can’t handle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:36 PM
5

It seems like you’re on a very right track if he “must have a disability” if he’s not interested! But like caring 0% about whether he is or isn’t, because you now have boundaries and don’t emotionally commit to someone you’ve known for < 0.1% of your life. And yesss I love the speaking with confidence. I (an enneagram 9) am an Olympic athlete at not saying things that might upset others as a lot of us are, and I’ve been slowly working on never ever doing that again, ever. I will no longer suppre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:09 AM
6

Yes absolutely! I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. It really is a perspective change not caring so much what they think. Even if you did make a typo, someone who really likes you isn’t going to care about that. About sharing something a little vulnerable and being unsure if they’ll get it, I used to have those conversations over text but I’ve stopped. I dated someone once who always seemed to leave me hanging, but I made excuses for it since it was over text. Whenever I have a thought like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:48 AM
6

I feel you, but yea maybe it’s not worth your time. People have to realize for themselves not to tolerate bullshit and sometimes they choose suffering with a man than being alone. I think most women get to the FDS mentality eventually, whether they’ll admit it or not. And how many years they lose is variable. If only gotten women to be interested in FDS through DMs when they’ve been harassed or stalked by men. Usually even those have heard from other subs to stay away from FDS. Reddit really hat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:01 PM
4

Very good advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:30 PM
18

Yea this is a throwaway account because people will check your history to see if you follow FDS and will immediately discount you for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:26 PM
10

Absolutely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:58 PM
19

Wow I was just having a conversation with my mother on sexism. She’s been very reflective lately and told me of all the other women who tried to put her down, the comments that felt awkward to her, the comedic hatred, the pleas for her to lower her ambitions and expectations as a woman. Oh and the men who never acknowledged her for all her hard work, that stings but was to be expected. I’m glad she never backed down in her aspirations. At least we know who the real boss bitch is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:49 PM
38

I can confirm all true. The block and delete is a life saver. And if anyone does call me a bitch, I just remind myself it’s just a woman who loves herself and doesn’t tolerate bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:11 AM
6

My answer exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:07 AM
5

You’re so right...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:01 AM
18

I will take that rec 😙 I really wonder what it is about the culture that makes some of these men such giving lovers...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:43 PM
44

I’ve dated an American man and 2 European men, I’ve never had any issues with oral with the European men. It was a chore to get the first one to go down on me. Now that I’m older, it’s a dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:13 PM
12

On par with this, never again will I sleep with a man I don’t trust yet. Even if I can tell he is trustworthy, I will take the time for the trust to build. I’ve never gotten any infections from a man, but I have freaked myself out about it because I rushed the sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:10 PM
10

Love this, wish I could send this to all the men I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:05 PM
4

I love this. I would also add if you’re going to vent your frustration to others, be careful who you do it with. It can be even more anger inducing if someone just tells you to relax vs validating your feelings. Honestly I try to process these emotions myself and in the future will pair an action with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:13 AM
15

I’m getting tired of them too and mostly look for posts like this. I want to be uplifted and uplift on this sub although I understand warning other women is not a bad thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:41 PM
2

What!!!!!? In the world...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:31 PM
13

Good for you! Next time don’t respond, just unmatch. Dont give him the opportunity to disrespect you even further. It’s clearly a waste of your time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 08:59 PM
15

I think this type of vetting comes from experience. I fell for my ex who was very well read on psychology and had a 10 year history of manipulating women before he met me. My personal evolution and strong boundaries are what is going to help me see past someone like him in the future. There’s always a lesson we haven’t learned yet, which is why we have this community of women helping each other out to spot the signs. It’ll take time to learn. But know that when you are fully grounded and know yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 08:57 PM
7

This makes me so angry not because I’ve been in this, but because I dated an LVM who put other much younger women through this. 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:22 PM
1

I’ve come across Tik Tokers I like but then I’ll see something they say that is LV every once in a while. Or they’re overly negative so I don’t have any really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:19 PM
2

Love this, I see all the signs. And while this was happening I was thinking, wow we’re in such an intense relationship. But now I see it for what it is, and I will see the signs again if I’m ever here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:40 AM
5

Wow me too!!! I never noticed the libertarian connection before...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:31 PM
36

I’ve had this EXACT thought. Like ok I guess I’m gonna have to be abstinent until abortion isn’t threatened or I meet a HVM, which really was the plan before all the politics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 11:03 PM
3

It’s appalling how my friends don’t listen when I try to warn them about this. “But so and so was 18 when she met so and so (31)” well so and so hasn’t woken up yet, and there is no way that is ok. It makes my blood boil. The power imbalances that are hidden behind, “oh he just wants a fun girl and doesn’t want to settle down.” A lot of the time pickmeishas are attracted to the seeming power that older men have. HVM don’t go after men who can abuse them, they wouldn’t even risk it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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