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Feral_Housewife_ Archive

View 2 posts and 125 comments by Feral_Housewife_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
130

How-To High ValueFeral_Housewife_/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:42 PM
105

How-To High ValueFeral_Housewife_/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

My bf built me an entire home gym for Xmas last year because I didn't wanna go to the gym because I work in healthcare and it seems irresponsible with the pandemic for me to go to the gym when I work with a population that is vulnerable to the virus. My doctors wanted me to get back to lifting weights ASAP because I have a connective tissue disorder and strengthening my muscles helps stabilize my joints. I was URGED by an orthopedist to please resume lifting as soon as it was safe to do so, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 06:38 PM
6

This is exactly how I feel about my boyfriend as well. First guy I've ever been with that I was actually super attracted to like this and honestly I could never go back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 06:28 PM
10

Oh for sure. It's super fucking dangerous and I honestly probably almost got myself killed. The only reason I had the energy and resources to do what I did is because I had been part time and my ex had a demanding schedule of working and cheating on me that kept him out of the house a lot, and I had several friends helping me. The relationship had a lot less to do with it than finally opening up to my friends and getting their support did, it just was also nice to simultaneously see that not all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 04:23 PM
43

This is all well and good for women coming out the gate in their dating life financially independent and using FDS standards. I "cheated" (in quotes because the marriage was open by that point, but he still considered it cheating, because reasons) on my emotionally abusive, financially abusive, chronically unfaithful ex husband and I won't feel bad about it for a single moment of my life. I was under his thumb and terrified and had no confidence and wasn't working full time. The second I secured…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:50 PM
76

My bf is childfree and never wanted bio kids. I am a single mother. When I tell you he WORKS for his relationship with my son, and with me. He is in it every day doing the work. He is absolutely beyond committed to my kid and making sure he is well cared for and loved. I'm talking infinite patience, on the floor building Legos every day, knows all his favorite foods and cooks them for him, having their own tooth brushing routine and reading bedtime stories, doing literal research on how to build…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:53 PM
101

I hope she realizes that even as a "bitter, disfigured hag" she will be a lot happier without this dickbag. And if she wants there are men out there who are willing to step up to the plate, even for a single mother. I would know, considering I'm also proudly a bitter, disfigured hag. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:27 PM
32

This is exactly correct. I just feel bad for the poor women these guys end up with when their poor, long suffering wives leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:19 PM
11

For real! My ex husband would take anywhere from 45min to TWO HOURS (because of his death grip, my head game is on point), and he would like grab my head and hair really hard and make me gag. I bet he wonders still to this day why I stopped blowing him. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 06:19 PM
119

I enjoy giving blowjobs because seeing my partner experience pleasure is a turn on for me. Yes! But the blowjobs will stop with a quickness if a guy does not bring that same energy to getting me off as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 01:05 PM
58

I think if you are in a happy, committed relationship, where things are going good and you feel all around treasured and adored in your relationship, a lot women will have fun doing it This is exactly right. I really like giving blowjobs, but I've NEVER done it for a casual partner, and I've never done it within the context of a relationship where I wasn't going to get loved on in response. And with most of the guys I've been in relationships with and really loved, I've been happy to give a blow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 01:03 PM
42

I actually really like it. I think it's fun. I have pretty strict parameters around when and who and what conditions so that it remains fun. If a guy takes more than 10ish minutes it's a no from me. If a guy has not showered in the last 5ish hours it's a no from me. If a guy gets pushy about it or touches my head too much it's a no from me. If a guy is quick and clean and respectful though? I'm very happy to give a blowjob. Especially with my current guy cause he can stay hard after and I can ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:57 PM
28

If I didn't know better I'd guess this was my brother's wife. Except it's her sister, not her mom, whose face he photoshops onto BDSM porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:08 PM
5

Yup. Guess what, if a guy with an actual avoidant attachment style actually loves you, he WILL learn to meet you halfway. I had a secure attachment style until my ex husband. Now I have an anxious attachment style. Which, btw, can absolutely be fixed if you're in a relationship that MAKES YOU FEEL STABLE, which I am watching happen in real time in my current relationship. My current fellow would have probably been categorized as an avoidant or fearful avoidant style. This was a slight issue for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 01:08 PM
164

I wish I could talk to his poor wife and tell her that there are men out there who won't be able to get enough of her post partum body, she doesn't need to stay with a man who has no appreciation for what her body has been through. Whiny ass baby complaining about his wife's weight gain and birth injuries and their effect on his pp instead of devoting his time and energy to being a good father and supportive husband. I'd be willing to bet he's no prize physically himself either. Probably just as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:29 PM
82

I recommend lurking in the baby bumps subreddit for a few months when you start seriously considering having a kid (or now), just so you're prepared for what it entails. It's what I did and I wasn't blindsided by anything about pregnancy or childbirth by the time I did it myself. Tbh, as much as this sub skews childfree, it's also one of the most supportive spaces I've found on the internet as a single mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:23 PM
109

All of your focus is on the kid’s wellbeing, and honestly it’s liberating and if I had to wager, I bet that’s what is really killing this loser’s boner. He’s not the center of attention anymore. Ding ding ding! This is exactly it. He's not her very first priority anymore. SO many men can't handle it. It's pathetic. Also, agreed on the rest of your comment. My son is the best thing, and I'm very very happy to have him despite the fact that my ex was an abusive narcissistic nightmare person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:20 PM
5

Absolutely this. I will never forget when my son was just a little toddler, one of my good friends won a few thousand from a slot machine at the casino. After paying some debts off and getting her finances squared away, the first thing she did was reach out to all her friends for friend dates. She took me out for a mani/pedi and sushi. I fucking love that girl. I need to make a plan to see her this weekend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:28 PM
37

Right? Wonder what that's like, must be nice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:36 PM
165

The part that kills me is how in any relationship_advice post where the WOMAN has the higher drive and asks for sex or maintenance sex, the dude is fucking APPALLED that she would ask for that and thinks it's a violation and not ok, and every dude in the comments jumps on to agree and be disgusted. All with absolutely NO acknowledgement that one of the BIGGEST pieces of advice given to women in long term relationships and marriages is to suck it up and have maintenance sex when she doesn't want …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:47 PM
34

Same! I've had the higher drive than every partner I've ever had, and every time they managed to kill it by being shitty partners. Except my current fella, still going strong on wanting to smash him on the regular over a year in, because he's really really ridiculously good looking and tries to be a good partner every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:43 PM
25

The part that kills me is how in any relationship_advice post where the WOMAN has the higher drive and asks for sex or maintenance sex, the dude is fucking APPALLED that she would ask for that and thinks it's a violation and not ok, and every dude in the comments jumps on to agree and be disgusted. All with absolutely NO acknowledgement that one of the BIGGEST pieces of advice given to women in long term relationships and marriages is to suck it up and have maintenance sex when she doesn't want …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:41 PM
79

As someone with a kid who is gonna inherit my everything, I think she's being petty about it. If I married a man and he expected me to bequeath him ANYTHING instead of my son I would laugh in his face. Sure, he deserves plenty of shade and judgement for how he reacted to the idea that she was going to will money to someone else, but also it's not something she should have made a big deal about in the first place imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 05:31 PM
72

My current guy is autistic and manages to anticipate my needs and my kid's needs, these LVM have NO excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 10:47 PM
3

My bf is childfree. I am a single mother. He is, far and away, the most HV man I've ever personally met. I personally think that the dudes I've met in my life that have been the absolute most high value have been either CF dudes who fell in love with a mom and stepped up for her kids, and dads who wanted to be CF who accidentally got a woman pregnant and stepped all the way up for their kid. I think you need to really vet childfree men, and really deeply inquire as to why they chose to be childf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 04:50 PM
25

Agreed. LVM feel as if respecting your boundary is "obeying" and submitting and they have a compulsion to defy everything you say. This is exactly right. My ex husband never met a boundary of mine that he didn't attempt to cross IMMEDIATELY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 04:20 PM
17

I was this way with my ex. He turned me off so much that it killed my libido. Instead I was handling things myself and just sucking it up the one time a month he would rather have sex than beat his dick raw after I went to bed. But I am actually a high libido person. Higher libido than either of the guys I was previously in long term relationships with. Higher libido than my current boyfriend too, but he makes an effort at least. Usually if we start to go too long I will very melodramatically as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 03:28 PM
28

When I interviewed for my current job, between the second interview and the job offer my ex was fucking panicking and doing his absolute best to discourage me from taking it. He didn't want me making more money, but more than that, he didn't want me working more hours because it means HE would have to take care of our son in the evenings and pull his weight around the house. The marriage was already VERY rocky at that point and I had been trying to get him to leave for months. My current bf, who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:07 PM
5

I did unfriend, thankfully, I just don't think I can block him and still use messenger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:19 PM
22

Is that a turd on some twine? Like, what even?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:51 PM
16

I'm so jealous. I share a child with mine, so I don't get to block and ignore him. I did unfriend and block him on social media, but my parents are still friends with him so they can keep tabs on what's up with our kid on his custodial time. And I can't block him on FB because I need to be able to have him on messenger for video chats with the kiddo. Straight up though, I'm telling him "forget my fucking number, I'll see you at his wedding" at our son's high school graduation lmfao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:50 PM
33

Yup! I'm not unattractive. I'm just also not hot, I've never been hot, it's unlikely that I ever will be. Filters out a lot of the trash. But then we get to deal with the trash who act like they are doing us a favor by being interested or wanting to have us on the side. Or you get to be the reach for ugly dudes, and you think they are gonna treat you better because even you are way out of their league, but they just treat you like trash too, and respect you less for being willing to date them. B…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:46 PM
7

Yup. Covert narcs will honestly destroy your entire life before you realize they are broken people. It's horrifying. And then he had the audacity to get SO MAD when the guy I started seeing after him (a mutual friend) actually centered me in his life and actually treated me like I was important and rearranged his life around mine. I think watching someone who he thought for sure couldn't act that way or feel that way about a girl (he has autism and was celibate for 5 years before we got together…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:35 PM
2

YUP. A friend of mine is married. Her husband has very obviously always had a crush on me. He made a whole, giant show of quitting social media a couple years back. But who ALWAYS likes my post if I post a selfie on IG? His cat 🙃🙃🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:50 PM
83

This is the answer. This post describes my ex husband to a T. He cheated from the moment we were engaged (possibly before, idk). He had an insatiable need for validation and a massive inferiority complex that he masked with a giant fake narcissistic ego. There was no 'enough' for him because he was fundamentally broken and incomplete and looking for something outside himself to fix it. And I WAS who he considered his "soul mate" and his "dream girl" and he had been pining after me since we met a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:47 PM
14

This is probably why men gatekeep women out of their hobbies so much and accuse them of faking it, because they routinely fake entire personalities and hobbies to try to get laid and assume we are doing the same shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 11:07 PM
8

Yes on 50/50 custody dads. My ex is a giant narc and has 50/50 because fAtHeRs RiGhTs are soOoOo important in court, even though he had a documented history of abuse. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 06:35 PM
1

I've realized communicating is useless in my relationship. He's high value, but he's also autistic and prideful. If I try to have a discussion with him about anything that I'm actually heated about, it will accomplish nothing. He isn't good under pressure, he can't get his feelings sorted out and speak to me about them. The best way to handle it is for me to state my issue, and then ignore him. Just not go out of my way to talk to him or touch him, don't look him in the eye, don't cuddle at nigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:54 PM
2

Oh my god so much! When my ex finally left the house for good, that first night I slept like shit. After that, I've been sleeping like a baby every night. I went from taking HOURS to fall asleep to taking minutes. I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore. I feel rested. I even have less chronic pain flare ups, and when I do they go away faster. Nothing I have EVER done for myself has helped as much as getting rid of my ex husband. Tbh I do sleep with a different man now and those benef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:45 PM
11

I'm "lucky" in that my face is abnormally expressive. I've never had a feeling that wasn't immediately obvious to anyone looking at my face. I fucking HATE it. But babies/toddlers and adults on the autism spectrum like me and feel safe around me because they can tell how I'm feeling. It really does help get the point across with men though. Since I hit adulthood I've only ever been heckled/cat called by INCREDIBLY drunk men (which is it's own distinct flavor of terrifying), I don't get that whol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:38 PM
38

Absolutely tell your friends and your family, asap. I was conned into not telling ANYONE and I stayed and got cheated on for 7 more years, and now I have a kid I have to share with him. Mine was a good liar too. As soon as I told everyone what kind of a scumbag he was, leaving became so much easier, because then it wasn't my private shame that I could white-knuckle my way through and keep my reputation intact. I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is. I remember not being able to eat for days and c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:29 PM
12

My current WILDLY attractive bf is by far the most attractive man I've ever dated. He's probably the most attractive man I've ever seen in person. He also treats me a thousand times better than the fat, balding nerds I had dated and married previously. He is kind, overwhelmingly competent, pays for everything, adores my son who is not his, ACTUALLY CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR IF HE HURTS MY FEELINGS, above average dick, 6'4", cooks (very well), and cleans. I'm not even that cute. I'm frumpy as hell. I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:33 PM
30

My marriage in a nutshell. Occasional performative competence, or performative caring, other than that he was a giant useless baby for me to take care of. But he was "sUcH a GoOd DaD!!1" because he, idk, interacted with his own fucking kid that he wanted. And I was a "terrible mother" according to his mom because he had to -gasp- put his OWN child to bed while I showered (only for the last 2 years, before that he was still at work at that time). She wasn't there at the ass crack of dawn while I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:27 PM
2

I'll have to tell the bf that. I am solidly the higher libido partner in my relationship. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:06 PM
59

Ooh, this is what that is. If I'm on top and I absolutely skewer myself with my guy's D it's the best orgasm I've ever had from PIV. Highly recommend. Unfortunately, I occasionally get pelvic pain and bleeding after from a small uterine prolapse from childbirth (this has been getting progressively better as I build strength in my pelvic floor).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:52 PM
12

For the women here who are into spirituality, also look into incorporating that in your ‘sessions’. With some tantric exercises, sexual meditation and a sensually exciting environment Do you have any good resources or places to look for stuff like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:02 PM
22

My fellow is autistic, so he has social media but hasn't used it in years. He is a member of an online forum and has a discord with several of those people. But he's also handed me his laptop with a tab open fully logged in to his account on that (private) forum with his posting history open, and didn't care if I looked through it. He's also offered to show me the conversation in his discord (which is all other men) if I ever feel weird. I actually trust him 3000% because he just doesn't underst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:17 PM
5

My dude was in between jobs when we started dating, so for the first couple months he was just the homemaker. Ngl, I miss it. To come home to a clean house and a warm home cooked meal and my kid happy every day. While I love that he's back to making good money now and he's spoiling me with it, I honestly almost resent that he works now and isn't doing all that stuff as much. He still does more than half the cooking and a lot of cleaning and a lot of childcare because he's WFH, but it's not the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:22 PM
40

It’s such a blow to the self esteem too, because he knows exactly who you are. It seems like a huge rejection of self. It’s way less a rejection if a guy doesn’t like you after a few dates, but he knows you thoroughly after you’ve lived together and is therefore rejecting the true you, that offered your best A dude who was my roommate for years and watched me struggle through the beginning of motherhood with someone else's kid JUMPED at the chance to be with me when I offered him one. He's seen …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:32 PM
47

My ex used to jerk the skin off his dick too. Absolutely fucking horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:39 AM
7

Things are amazing. So much better. Highly recommend divorce in the case of being married to a porn addict LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:44 PM
17

I've never had a guy experience "post-nut clarity" with me. I think it might be a function of casual sex or alternatively a coping mechanism for wanting to hurt/degrade women during sex and then distance yourself from that afterward. Or a result of too much porn, cause I usually hear about "post-nut clarity" in the context of jerking off to porn. I think that some particularly depraved or porn-addicted individuals experience it after actual sex too. I think they're just telling on themselves. Ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:07 PM
14

Absolutely! I love the woman I've become since having my son. He is not dragging me down at all. He's completely amazing, and parenting him is tiring and stressful sometimes, but I am 3000% happier now than I was when I was with his father. My problems with motherhood when I was married... turns out they were all problems with his dad. I have more disposable income, more free time, and more FUN with my child since the divorce. Just me and the absolute love of my life making our way in the world,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:05 PM
14

For real, $10 is cheap as hell for 4 bottles of nail polish. My current guy bought me gel nail polish supplies for Xmas (among other things) and recently bought me a GIANT tackle box for all my nail supplies. Ex never balked at nail supplies either. It's funny, the guy I'm with is like simultaneously the most attractive and HV guy I've dated AND the one who expects the least from me. He's also the one I feel most comfortable making wait while I get ready, even though I know he doesn't care if I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:54 AM
2

Tbh we separated right before COVID popped off last year, so I haven't been going out much of anywhere other than like Ikea, Home Depot, Target and such as I chip away at redoing several rooms in my house. I haven't had anyone try to shame me for existing when my kid is at his dad's yet. I've had a couple of other moms hit me with the bitter "Must be nice!" and I had one be a bitch about how "Well he is YOUR kid" when I complained about having him a TON extra while my ex's father was dying, ofte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:29 PM
47

The funny part is that even our Fine AF Friday dudes were more diverse and had a lot more representation of different nationalities and body types and facial features than most dudes find attractive in women. I feel like all it did was hammer home that all you have to do is TRY, take care of yourself, and some woman somewhere will find you attractive. Like, sure, they can whine and cry about how they can't control if they are tall, or their dick size, or if they're balding. OK, but you can bite …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:08 PM
17

I'm 5'10" and my current bf is the only guy I've dated that was more than an inch taller than me (he's 6'4"). I'm never going back. The literal only thing that's less convenient is holding hands while walking. Everything else is just 10/10.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:50 AM
2

That last point is so true. It really almost feels like having a mutual relationship with another person that you both need to work on, compared to my dog who loves me like I'm a goddess at all times with no particular effort from me. For some reason the feeling of give and take with the cat is so much more rewarding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:47 AM
19

For me it's having to share my son with him. He insisted on 50/50 custody because playing "dad of the year!" is important to his ego. So I just have to send my boy over his abusive narcissist fathers house 50% of the time and just... hope for the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:40 AM
34

Whoa. You really are so right though. For a lot of men, the concept of motherhood seems to be about carrying on THEIR bloodline, being tied to THEM forever, being put into a domestic role for THEM and their offspring. I think that really is the root of a lot of the vitriol about single mothers, especially within the context of dating. And why so many of them bristle so much at the concept of raising "another MAN'S" kid, as if that kid isn't equally the woman in question's kid. Makes me even more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:33 AM
21

Absolutely agree! This has been the most supportive space I've found as a mother at all on the internet, let alone a single mother. A lot of the other spaces "for women" are also full of men and also viciously childfree men and women (trollX, for example) and people can just be so fucking shitty to you for having children at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:23 AM
4

Yes!!! I never had a grandfather, the only one I had died when I was 4. I had a couple kindly old men in my life but rarely saw them. I have, however, worked in food service and as a medical receptionist for a long time. I get VERY sketched out by older men. Some of them are surprisingly delightful. Many of them are very creepy. My ex FIL was suuuch womanizing, LV scum (he was 15 years older than my own father, me and ex were the exact same age). It made me uncomfortable every time I had to be a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:01 PM
7

Same. My dad has his issues, but he LOVES my mom. They are happily married 40 years. If you aren't bringing that kind of devotion to my life you can get fucked. I'd rather be alone with my cat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:52 PM
6

Aww. My kitty is part of my morning routine too. She will hang with my son in his room once he wakes up if he's at my house. Once my alarm goes off one of us gets up and opens the bedroom door and she jumps up on the bed and trills good morning to me while I scritch her head (son often joins as well). If I'm the one who let her in, she won't jump up until I get back in the bed. She rolls around my feet or jumps up on the back of the toilet to rub her face on my shoulders while I go pee. She jump…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:49 PM
6

This is what my current bf keeps telling me about my Ex. That I need to just let him fuck up and stop holding his hand about parenting. But at the same time I feel like I have to for my son's sake. It's stressful. I feel like it's MY responsibility to make sure that his uselessness doesn't become my son's problem, that's what I signed up for by having him in the first place. But at the same time, him failing publicly would help me beef up a court case for full custody. Ugh. My stomach hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:51 AM
3

My ex husband brought me a Starbucks drink and mini scones along with our son and my present (scented candles are my son's go-to lately for presents) when he dropped him off. We went on a "plant adventure" with my bf, who bought me a ton of plants for the hard (herbs and vegetables seedlings mostly, a couple flowers). I threw my back out, so bf walked and got me two expensive boxes of CBD infused macarons, then basically waited on me hand and foot for the rest of the day. Made me a porterhouse s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:13 PM
10

I'm semi active on that sub on my main acct and it truly is so fucking depressing. Just a constant flood of posts about how shitty and disappointing and abusive their husbands and babydaddies are. And so few of them willing to DO anything about it. Meanwhile, my birthday is usually within a week of mother's day. You had better believe I spend that full week flouncing around my house like a fucking princess. I've got my ex husband getting me flowers and presents from our son, delivering me coffee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:09 PM
23

Right though? Asian men are gorgeous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:07 AM
3

Honest to God, this literally happened to me. I gave up and realized my ex was never gonna stop cheating, and I had a young child at home and only worked part time, couldn't afford to split up, so I said "Ok, so let's just have an open marriage or whatever." He VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY agreed. Started crossing state lines to meet internet girls IMMEDIATELY. Then I slept with someone, and he lost every last bit of his fucking mind. I was a cheating whore, he told ALL his friends and family that. Nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:03 AM
101

Chris Hemsworth is a dad. I vote for this to be the new "dad bod"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:58 PM
27

Yep, it'll only be sexless for her! Speaking from personal experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:53 AM
6

Just read this out loud to my boyfriend and we laughed & laughed. It truly is hilarious. Yeah, women are allowed to have standards now because we don't actually NEED you for anything. Die mad about it. And your bloodline will die with you cause we all went out and bought tall, handsome, high IQ sperm for our babies. Lmfao. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:12 PM
13

I spent a lot of time on a couple other subs (not sure if I can name them here), where I read such devastating stories. 5yr, 10yr, 20yr+ of women having to deal with lying and betrayal, over and over, with their partners, and the toll it took on them. I did not want that to be my future. I'm one of those women, and I'm so fucking proud of you for standing up for yourself and your boundaries NOW instead of in several years with a marriage and kids and mortgage to contend with. You are an inspirat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:53 PM
11

This is my ex husband to a T. His parents split up when he was 7 because FIL was a shit husband (a womanizing, narcissistic piece of trash to the core) and she cheated to get out of the marriage. His sisters were both in their late teens and moved out immediately because they sided with daddy. She raised him mostly by herself, he has a ton of conflicting feelings about her because she's his mommy who raised him but also she's a cheating whore. He has a thing for moms now, since we had our son. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:47 PM
11

Oh gosh no, I was sitting at home drinking a coffee because I didn't have work till noon. If I'd had literally anything going on I would have told him to get fucked. But also he had driven right past my house and seen my car there not 10 minutes before when he was dropping the boy off and I'm still not past being afraid of his temper yet so I didn't want him to call me out and freak out. I'm just not there yet. I've only been out of the marriage a year, after spending a decade under his thumb. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:52 PM
39

My Ex husband called me a few weeks ago because he ran out of gas dropping our son off at school. His school is literally around the corner from my house and my ex dropped him off and made it like 2 blocks and ran out of gas. I went and found a gas can and bought him a gallon of gas to put in his tank and brought it to him, because even if he's a garbage narcissist piece of shit I still have to model how to be a good person for our child, and I still want to be a person I'm proud of being at the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:08 PM
36

My ex husband would literally go soft if I was enjoying myself. He would complain if I got "too wet". I had such a fucking complex about it by the end of that relationship. Turns out he was broken and fucked up, not me, obviously. My vagina is fine, he just deathgripped his dick into ED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:46 PM
106

They do, but they're far and few between and often religious. My current bf will rant alongside me about how disgusting the porn industry is and how it fucks people up. But then again, the reason I'm dating him is because he is completely different from literally every other man I've ever met. Sometimes dudes who deny any porn use and masturbation are the biggest addicts with the deepest shame about it. My ex husband was that way. He would VICIOUSLY lash out at me whenever I tried to open a dial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:25 PM
8

When I read my ex husband the fucking riot act and told him I wanted him to leave because he was abusive, he went to his therapist and came home crowing about how "I'm not abusive, slapping a toddler isn't abuse, just poor parenting!" I asked you to leave because you dragged him across the living room by the fucking hair on the day of his 4th birthday party, what does he say about that you dumb fuck? "I don't understand how that was abusive, I wasn't even mad when I did that!" His therapist then…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:16 PM
11

Absolutely. I was much more attracted to my ex husband when I was on birth control (which was still not particularly attracted, if I'm being honest). I went off ALL birth control in June of 2019. I had a sex drive again and was willing to settle for my husband but wasn't attracted to him. I was more able to see all his negative and abusive personality traits as well. I was UNCONTROLLABLY attracted to a close mutual friend though. Went back on birth control, but the damage was done. I had seen my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:37 PM
21

My current guy tried out the "you know you can always get yourself the rest of the way there after..." Once. I put him directly in his place and said that is not a substitute for putting in the work to get me turned on enough and making me come. If he tries valiantly, and we both really try, and it doesn't happen because I got overstimulated, or my body hurts too much, or I just can't mentally get in the zone enough to get there, ok. That's fine. But I am not accepting low effort bullshit. He to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:30 PM
38

YUP. On the day of my son's highschool graduation I'm telling my ex husband to lose my fucking number I'll see you at his wedding and blocking him. Then maybe selling my house and moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:24 PM
11

Exactly. I would never give the silent treatment to someone who came to me in good faith to try to talk through whatever happened. But if you upset me, and I express that you have upset me and how, and you choose not to have a follow up conversation about it, you don't get to be shocked when I'm STILL upset with you in a few hours and don't wanna engage in casual conversation about something else. IMO, a person trying to sweep your hurt feelings under the rug by forcing you to behave as normal i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:21 PM
12

I own my house and have a mortgage. I pay my mortgage in it's entirety with the homeowners insurance and taxes, because I want to know that I can and because it allows me to pull out "it's my fucking house" when I need to. I pay my car insurance, my credit card, my student loans. He lives with me and he pays everything else: utilities, groceries, household supplies, furniture, home improvement stuff. Plus takeout or anything like that when we get it, and dates once dates are a thing again. Payin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:07 PM
16

I find it to be a useful way of communicating. My current guy gets emotionally overwhelmed easily and shuts down due to PTSD if I'm angry/hostile. If I get upset and snap at him about something that's going on, he usually will get quiet and avoid me for a couple hours. I'm happy to give him his couple hours, I've got my own quirks of my mental health that he does his best to accommodate. When he gets out of his head I continue avoiding him, not looking at him, and giving him one word answers unt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:49 PM
90

And when they do have empathy, it's usually performative, not genuine. I had that issue a lot with my personality disordered ex husband. He could perform empathy all day when you were talking to him about your feelings. But he didn't have enough empathy to not do things even if he knew they would hurt me deeply. His wants trumped whatever empathy he had every time. But he can still talk a good game like he understands that other people have feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:17 PM
16

I have 4 tattoos and my nose pierced. One of my tattoos has been visible at my last 2 job interviews, and I got both of those jobs. Beat out 120 other applicants for the most recent one. Sure it wasn't a corporate gig, I do clerical/administrative work in a doctor's office, but still. You are probably going into a very different field than mine and will have different expectations. But you cover up your tattoos and presumably know how to put together an outfit for an interview and conduct yourse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:35 PM
1

Thank you so much! I'll get to reading these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:46 PM
2

Ugh I so agree with you. I struggle SO much with being treated well, I feel guilty and like I don't deserve it. It's been over a year and I still struggle with it. I'm SO used to being treated like crap. I really internalized it with I was with my ex husband. I don't even know what to do with myself with my HVM, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Except, that shoe isn't coming, it doesn't exist. But I still feel so anxious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:45 PM
2

Might have to pick this one up for my eventual bookshelf. I want to put together some books for my bookshelf about things like healthy relationships, healthy sexual relationships, how to be a good man, how to cope with people in your life with personality disorders, and some books on narcissism for my son. Because someday he's gonna want answers about why his dad is the way he is, and guidance on how to be different. And if he's anything like me he'll just boredom read most of the books in the h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:41 PM
11

Yupppp, he started cheating as soon as we got engaged. I was no longer a viable sexual partner and he would only have sex with me once every so often so he could pretend we still had a functioning relationship. The entire thing started crumbling when I got off birth control and my sex drive came back. Getting a libido again literally kick-started the demise of my marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:01 PM
13

I went from my ex husband to a friend. But the friend waited on me to express interest first. He just offered emotional support and help with my kid (he was already very involved with my kid prior to the split from my ex, as a close family friend). I expressed an interest in having sex, because I like sex and I trusted him to show me a good time and not make it weird. He, slowly and respectfully, swept me off my feet with an actual relationship because he valued me more than that. Not strictly F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:38 PM
58

Yupppp. Or alternatively, they act like they are fine with everything, put you FIRMLY into the Madonna box in their Madonna-Whore complex, and then start cheating. Which is what my ex did. He loved how dedicated I was to our son, I was such a great mother (until we were divorcing and him and his entire family agreed that I was a terrible mother). Except he didn't want to have sex anymore, at all, and just cheated on me consistently from the minute we even started TRYING to get pregnant. So weird…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:21 PM
32

Never, ever, ever date a dude with anger issues. Ever. If he's impulsively acting out violence when he's angry, you dip. Because it always escalates. If they don't have the good sense to walk it off or take some space first, then they are trash and you know what to do. My NVM ex had giant anger management issues, and they don't get better. The first real time I ever saw my current bf angry was when I told him 4 years ago that my (now ex) husband had hit me (he slapped me across the face). He cle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:20 PM
54

Yes! During the first couple years of being with my LV ex he tested the waters a few times with this. Either trying to block my way, slamming a cabinet door shut uncomfortably close to me, grabbing my arms. We were the same height and he only had 50lbs on me. Every time he did it I would physically intimidate him right back. Sure, you could really hurt me if you wanted to, but I will absolutely fuck your entire day up in the process, so is it worth it? He never really got physical with me in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:44 PM
24

The part that kills me is that the bar is SO LOW for a "good father" that these dudes are practically tripping on it. They have to do SO little to have strangers, and their family, and even their poor brainwashed wives falling over themselves to jerk them off about how good of a father they are. My ex did way less than half the parenting of our son that I did. But he has always had people just GUSHING about how good of a father he is. His mother had the audacity to call me a terrible mother beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:27 PM
96

Never had a dude experience "post nut clarity" with me. I think it's something they made up so they don't have to own their depraved, pornsick fantasies. I've been with some LV ass men and still every one of them wanted to cuddle after, and the ones I wasn't in a relationship with were hounding me to be in one even after. Not a particularly large sample size, can count them on one hand, but still. I really think it's something that came up with so they can divorce themselves from the version of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:06 AM
-1

Eh. I work for an OB/GYN practice and my favorite GYNs I've ever seen have been men. I find that they are much more gentle with the pelvic exam and pap smear, almost across the board. I also find that the male GYNs in my practice are wonderful. The younger one is a gay man who really likes the surgery aspect and likes delivering babies, and he's an absolute sweetheart. The two older men are VERY empathetic and devoted to their patients, they take their job incredibly seriously. I'm 100% sure the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 09:46 PM
7

Another thing about these kinds of men: even if they get therapy they lie to the therapist. I'm pretty sure my ex had BPD and/or NPD and my therapist agrees. He lied to every therapist he ever spoke to. Every single one. They are broken, terrifying people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:11 PM
16

There is a ton of talk about emotional intelligence in this, and I agree that it's important. But just a counterpoint: my ex husband was very emotionally intelligent, and good at using therapy terms and "communicating" and all kinds of shit. He was LV to the core and an abusive, narcissistic cheater. I think the emotional intelligence helped him a lot, especially it helped him pretend to be capable of empathy. He could talk about his stupid feelings all day and pretend to care that other people …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 02:59 PM
2

Your first paragraph describes me also. I have a LOT of trouble with direct stimulation because I am super sensitive. Damn I might have to start saving up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:53 PM
54

My ex wasn't outwardly into BDSM. But his poor little pornsick pp would go soft if I was enjoying myself. He was literally INCAPABLE of orgasming until about 10 minutes after it had started to hurt for me because I was over it and I was very clearly distressed and in pain. Literally I can't remember a single time in the last 4 years of our marriage that he didn't push it to that point before being able to come.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:51 PM
3

Does it really realistically simulate oral? I'm so intrigued by this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:16 PM
31

I was thinking about this last night. I've never used OLD. But I was thinking about how it seems like guys used to being their A game more for first meetings and dates and stuff. I wonder if the amount of ACCESS they have to us has degraded the amount of effort they are willing to put in. If they fuck it up one time they can still message us and try again. If they really fuck it up at least they can still stalk us on social media and beat off to our pictures. They have, in their minds, infinite …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:13 PM
3

I bought into this for so long. 5.5 years with one, an entire decade and failed marriage with the other. Current man is both the most attractive man I've ever personally known and also probably the best, kindest, most principled man I've ever personally known. And boy came running, RUNNING, when I crooked my little finger and he got an opportunity after knowing him for years. Jesus fucking christ what was I DOING for 15 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 02:44 PM
3

God. I hope this is true. My little man. I will be fucking heartbroken if he grows up like his father. I have unfortunately met MANY kids from broken homes with substance abusing or abusive/personality disordered parents that just learned how to manipulate and get whatever they wanted from their fucked up parent. And then they disregarded the parent that tried because they had things like rules and expectations and boundaries. I am full on terrified of that happening with my baby. As for right n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:54 PM
7

This is how it is in my particular bubble of the northeastern US as well. Almost all our large OB/GYN groups have both on staff and hospitals are set up in a way that accommodates that model of care. I'm sure it's vastly different elsewhere in the US though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:29 PM
1

I cook a fancy dinner Valentine's day, because I both hate going out to restaurants on busy nights and want to show appreciation. Plus a couple small things (a sentimental item and a mid range bottle of bourbon/whiskey/scotch usually).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:36 PM
10

Same here with my current dude. He thinks gift giving occasions are ridiculous. I made a crack about Valentine's day last week and how he wasn't going to get me anything and he said he already had. He also knocked it out of the park for Xmas. If my autistic dude who doesn't subscribe to the idea that adults should be receiving gifts can do it, then damn sure a normal dude can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:30 PM
40

My LVM ex husband was, aside from the cheating, wonderful when I was pregnant and in labor and post partum. He did very well as a birthing partner. Sometimes it's AFTER that's worse, when they feel like they really have you locked down now. There were plenty of red flags of course, but his abuse didn't start really ramping up until after. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:21 PM
29

If the idea of being rushed or disregarded while on labor scares you, I can't recommend finding an OB/GYN practice that has both midwives and physicians enough. Go with a practice that has both on call at all times. The doc will only be called in if there are serious complications and the midwife and L&D nurses will manage your labor. I saw the physician on call once when they came in when I was first getting hooked up and everything, and again when the midwife was stitching me up to make sure t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:17 PM
112

Her description of him and their marriage is spot on for my marriage and ex husband. Just CONSTANT cheating and seeking validation from other women while playing 'best husband ever' and 'best feminist ever' and not really understanding what he's doing wrong, because it's working so well for HIM and other people don't really have needs or feelings that matter anyway. My skin is crawling just from reading it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:07 PM
8

How my cat and dog look at me erryday. 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:08 PM
14

Ugh, right? I used to get "It's always WHATBOUTISM with you! We can never argue about just the one thing!" IT'S NOT WHATBOUTISM, IT'S CALLED POINTING OUT A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR YOU DUMB FUCK. Maybe if you stopped doing the same stupid, selfish, inconsiderate shit over and over I would stop bringing up the past. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:29 PM
35

Yes, call this bluff every time. They just want you to beg. This was one of my ex's favorite tricks. It was really fun to watch his brain short circuit every time after I realized it was a manipulation and started saying "Yeah, that's a good idea" or "If that's what you think is right/if that's what you need to do, go ahead" I actually have screenshots of the first time I went 'fuck it' and told him "Ok, no problem, if that's what you wanna do then bye" Also, god forbid you try to talk about spl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:12 PM
28

This is my ex husband. Can confirm, he's just as low value as some of these other scrotes. Just hid it until I birthed his kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:02 PM
41

I have 4 aunts. Actually 6, but 4 of them are relevant rn. One never married, no kids. One divorced, no kids. One never married, one grown kid. One divorced, three grown kids. I fucking adore them all. They are happy, and vibrant, and full of life. They have been beyond helpful and supportive. They helped raise me and my brother and my cousins. They are helping raise my son. They, plus my deceased grandmother's (one divorced, one widowed) were the village that helped raise my generation, and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:27 PM
6

Yep! Wouldn't trade my little babe for anything, but he is definitely a difficult kid. The impending diagnosis is actually a relief because it means that he IS particularly difficult, I'm not making it up and I'm not having a hard time because I'm just bad at being a mom. That said, he is WILDLY affectionate, just absolutely full to the brim with love to give, on top of being very clever and funny and sweet. I wouldn't give any of that big personality up in exchange for an easier kid. He will be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:17 PM
87

As a woman with inattentive ADHD and sensory processing issues, this is so fucking real. I was my ex husband's MPDG. I was, by turns: boring, interesting, quirky, too demanding, inappropriate, obnoxious, etc. Depending on how he felt about himself that day. Come to find out, after I birth his son who has severe ADHD that has been obvious since he could walk, that he was also diagnosed with ADHD as a child. MIL didn't see fit to mention that shit until I was already struggling with my insane litt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 12:04 AM
9

Yeah, I think I did it once or twice in the 7.5 years we were married because it was awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:57 PM
8

These are for sure all the reasons I stayed with my ex even though he was awful and our marriage was awful. I didn't leave when we were engaged and I found out he cheated because I bought into his fake regret and fake tears and, more importantly, because I didn't want to have failed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:09 PM
4

Hell yes. I got and drank a $50 bottle of champagne the day my divorce was final. I wanted to have a divorce party, but COVID.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:07 PM
56

Personally, I kind of have an oral fixation and I like to have something to do with my mouth/tongue. I sincerely enjoy giving bj's, under specific circumstances: dick is clean, dick is not enormous, man does not thrust or grab my head, man comes within a reasonable timeframe because I have TMJ. I never used to suck my ex husband's dick because he took 45+ minutes ALWAYS, and he would grab my head and get violent about it. All because he was pornsick and his dick was broken. Current guy is genera…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:04 PM
5

On the bright side, an actual HVM isn't gonna care if you have a kid or not if he really likes you. He's gonna care whether you are a good mother to your kid and whether you are doing your best for your kid. A real HVM isn't tripping about the fact that you have a past or about the fact that you prioritize your kid over him. And if a dude is doing those things, he ain't your HVM. Maybe he's the HVM for a woman without kids, as long as he's kind and respectful about the fact that what he wants fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:26 PM
14

I work for an OB/GYN and was just talking about this with one of the docs today. She's just entirely horrified at the lengths women go to, that are actively harmful to the health and proper functioning of our bodies, to look/feel/smell "acceptable."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:37 PM
18

I'm pretty sure this is true. I've never experienced being a knock out or anything. I have a pretty face and I always have. But I'm intimidatingly tall, have always been chubby, and my facial expressions can be very exaggerated in a way that is often unattractive because I have a connective tissue disorder. My NVM ex husband was MARKEDLY less attractive than me. Every dude I have been with except my current man have been markedly less attractive than me. Because I was under the impression that i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:52 PM
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