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FickleShame Archive

View 0 posts and 56 comments by FickleShame on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

I’m open to advice on what I can do within myself to change what I’m doing to attract the men I’m attracting or tips on where to go/how to find decent men. I’m open to hearing that I’m the dud. I have no idea what I’m doing/messing up. There’s always room for growth. Focus on yourself. The thing about dating- especially as a middle aged woman entering her silver years- is that you can be perfect, you can do absolutely nothing wrong, and you can still end up not finding anyone. You have to learn …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:29 AM
17

1: How negotiable is he? Does he have his way and nothing else or is he actually reasonable and equitable? 2: How often does he cut you off because you're being a 'nag' or because he's tired of hearing the argument, especially over issues of serious importance like financial health, career goals, or vice habits like alcohol and tobacco? 3: Is he the type to share authority, or does he insist on being the captain alone? 4: If he feels like he's losing control over you, how does he react? 5: Does …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:17 AM
5

I try to stick to a two-reply rule. Someone who just becomes increasingly hostile or belligerent after two comments gets ignored. Whatever they're after isn't a conversation at that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:08 AM
46

Personal assistant Wait, what? No, hell no. You can take care of your own life and if you are that disorganized I am not going to marry you. Therapist I don't mind being someone to bounce ideas off of and to provide feedback but I am not going to put up with someone who's a shrieking mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 05:30 AM
15

1: You can actually do something about dark patches under your eyes. I don't know if it's insomnia or what but that ain't attractive and I doubt any men in your life think it makes you look cool either. It makes you look strung out or like you're trying to sleep next to a war zone. 2: Speech therapists are a thing and there is absolutely no shame in a man going to one to correct an over excited stutter or what I'm going to call bullet speak. Slow down, buddy. If you really needed to cram that ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 05:26 AM
24

Video games are 'fine.' Video games are fine in the sense that maybe he uses them for no more than an hour to unwind at the end of the day. Video games are fine in the sense that he plays ones that actually end. It's been a long time- years- since I last had it happen but I've been known to binge new games over a weekend. But that's something that happens less frequently than once a year- and it's not something I'd ever admit in public. I've also known men who play video games that do not end, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:58 AM
23

Nothing quite says 'catch and release' like trying to pull off the 'unkempt stubble' look when you still have a creepy mustache.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:47 AM
4

Statistics don't mean people don't exist. It's just that one parent is simply not enough to raise kids. Statistics are not prescriptive, they're descriptive. Having two healthy, well adjusted parents just maximizes those odds. The entire point to vetting a potential husband is to ensure that he's able to maximize both his time at work and at home. Both my parents were a little too obsessed with work and retiring early to the point that they both had viscous abusive streaks and were saddling me w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:41 AM
2

Those same studies find the same problems in single-parent households of either stripe. There's an obvious blind spot for households with two parents where one or both are uninvolved in the development of their kids but saying that kids raised in households with parents who don't give a damn about them are going to have problems isn't exactly a controversial statement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:19 AM
19

You can do everything right, make no real mistakes and still fail. It's not unfair, it's life. You can compromise on a lot of things but I'd be extremely leery of compromising on a potential husband. Don't settle for a guy who doesn't understand what the problem with visible globs of hair on his carpets, and mold gathering around his windows is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 09:22 PM
2

For where I'm at I am fundamentally happy with my small cluster of friends and social relationships. I'll freely concede that I am not extroverted and do not enjoy big parties and social gatherings, so take what I say with a grain of salt if that's not your thing. That said, I wouldn't make men who do not make you feel anything a priority for your time. I didn't say don't date them but between a new potential plate and someone you've established is at least not a sociopath, I'd always try the ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 09:19 PM
5

Absolutely! Your mileage will vary but if you want to find high quality men at explicit dating events it can end up taking too much time to sort between the pig trough and the upper crust. I just recommend Meetup because I happened to find a few good communities through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 08:28 PM
89

That's pretty close, actually. Except instead of pizza it's Americanized Italian dishes. I wouldn't call it the McDonald's of Italian food because no one pretends McDonald's is quality food and they're at least honest about what they're serving. Olive Garden genuinely wants you to think you're eating quality Italian food for a good value. In truth you could make some fairly accurate recreations of their dishes with dry pasta and jars of sauce. Maybe you really roll up your sleeves and grate Parm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 08:23 PM
24

Start with hobbies and common interests. In my experience every HVM I ever interacted with I found at some form of meet up. Your mileage may vary and it will often be the case that there's no one of value present, but that's kind of the point; you're doing something you enjoy and it's not strictly about finding men. To that end I tend to recommend Meetup.com and similar sites just because it's not about dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:12 PM
41

The hell is it with guys who grow out their hair but resent having to take care of long hair?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:32 PM
20

Normally I'd say 'overqualified for' but ah.... I wouldn't trust him with a broom. Or a mop. Or a deep fat fryer. Or a spatula.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:32 PM
25

The Reddit admins have to walk a tight rope. If they get too aggressive they'd have a repeat of the Ellen Pao era where people were screaming about censorship. Plus this is a social media website- their only meaningful asset is membership and daily page hits. Rock the boat too much and they risk their company's value tanking. EDIT: Just so we're perfectly clear I might not agree with these positions even if I understand why Reddit does it. Companies will absolutely be cowed by their consumers if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:23 PM
107

Porn habits with HVM's only exist in the past tense, and only because it's become socially acceptable to be an 'addict.' Most men discover the moment they're cut off hard from their access that they don't actually have a porn addiction, it's just a habit they weren't willing to cut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:10 PM
12

People don't change, they just become more like who they always were. If an LVM was going to change, they would have done it already. It's the guy who can proclaim he's 5 years sober, or the guy who refers to a cigarette habit in the past tense. Or at least they'd be able to say something like, 'you caught me at a transitional stage in my life.' It's the fat guy who can say, 'well, yes, I'm fat. I used to be fatter. You caught me on the way back from the gym. It's not exactly date food but you w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:05 PM
33

Boys learn to be men from their fathers. Boys learn emotional maturity from their mothers. Girls learn how to be women from their mothers, and they learn how to be emotionally mature from their fathers. Boys who lack a strong mother figure in their life grow up chasing after women because they think it'll 'fix' them. Women who lacked strong father figures growing up tend to lack the self esteem to be able to resist the fuck boys in life until they've learned the hard way. This is probably the mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:52 PM
4

A guy that makes you feel nothing should be held in the same contempt as someone who's throwing up red flags left and right. Or at least he should be dropped with the same effort. If you don't feel any kind of pull or magnetism towards him after two or three dates you're not going to magically get him after a few more, and then a few more after that. If you really want to give him more time it should really only be on your terms, and because, say, you have a rainy Saturday with nothing going on.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:36 PM
15

That's fair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:25 PM
163

No, lets not split hairs here. MGTOW got quarantined because of MGTOW. If MGTOW were about teaching men how to empower themselves to be better men, it would have never been quarantined. Instead it read like a white supremacist screaming, "now let me explain to you why black people and Jews are why I'm not a winner!" except replace the races with women. Hell, if MGTOW were actually about helping men learn to become higher value men and taking responsibility for their own lives I'd even applaud it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:24 PM
34

I wouldn't even bind it up in academic language. They might assume you're an Andrea Dworkin cultist, and we can't have that! Keep it simple: this isn't for them. There's no shortage of subreddits that they can use to figure out how best to serve themselves as men, and they can always make more. This subreddit is one-of-a-kind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:15 PM
6

sports, business and travel So he likes things everyone likes. This is like saying he likes to watch movies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:29 PM
2

If you're not happy alone, a relationship will not fix you. Honestly I'd go find a hobby- what do you do for fun?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:50 AM
3

As long as you hit at least one of the three male food groups- fat, meat, and sugar- you're golden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:48 AM
7

Between my college degree and my own personal life I've spent too much time researching mental illness and the diagnostic procedure to actually telling people what they have to fall for it. You don't have ADHD and even if you did it doesn't explain being late. I had a friend in high school who had ADHD and he was never late to school even though he drove himself. You're not autistic, or even borderline, you've replaced a personality with cosplaying as some generic badass from an action flick. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:45 AM
36

If you have to actually think about it, it's probably an actual flaw. Actual flaws are deal breakers. Looking at porn when you're already in a relationship is inexcusable. We don't really have any choice to forgive it's use in a historical sense because it's functionally impossible to find men who haven't indulged in it- hell, I've had girlfriends who had a porn habit, even if it was comparably mild to what I've had boyfriends tell me about- but if we're supposed to be in a relationship, porn ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:33 AM
-3

There's a pretty big difference between tasteful art- lets say Venus de Milo- erotic art- there's tons of art photography books that simply celebrate the human body- and porn. If you can't tell the difference, you probably look at too much porn. Or you're simply a prude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 12:33 AM
51

Hell, it's not even porn in itself- its the internet. Used to be that if you wanted porn you had to go to the seedy section of the magazine rack at the sketchy 7-11 on the bad side of town and suffer the piercing gaze of whoever was ringing you up at the cash register. Porn in itself was fine- well, lets stick a huge disclaimer about the nature of the porn industry, it's predatory nature towards vulnerable women, and it's tendency to push unacceptable boundaries with regards to content- because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 12:27 AM
3

A half-pound of See's Candies is hard to go wrong with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 12:11 AM
8

Hey, hey, lets leave the butter out of this, it doesn't deserve that abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:53 AM
1

The real issue is that a police officer can only ever do more police related work. If he were a construction worker some day he could conceivably own his own construction business. Or maybe it's a stepping stone to becoming, say, an electrician. Career advancement for a police officer exists almost exclusively within police unions, and those are fraught with their own internal politics and external politics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:47 AM
4

You don't have to. If you do the rules are pretty simple- 1: Nothing expensive. I'd keep the budget to 20 dollars or less. 2: Something simple. Food is an obvious place to start. 3: Something that could be sentimental. I often recommend home cooked meals but that's because I'm doing those anyways and since I was planning on leftovers anyways it costs me almost nothing except the time it takes to do an extra set of dishes. Chocolate covered oreos are also a good idea. would make me feel stupid if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:16 AM
13

Unless he runs a Thai restaurant, ran some sort of explicitly Thai related business, or was a Buddhist monk, there's no excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:08 AM
2

Police work is high stress, low value work with pay that frankly doesn't cover what you're doing. It's psychologically straining and it's no wonder that cops statistically die young. Tons of respect for anyone who is actually willing to do all that but the entire career field is fraught with issues. And no, I wouldn't date a cop either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:04 AM
17

Not necessarily, no. Tons of people proclaim that getting hitched and having kids improves your quality of life and makes you live longer but those studies are fraught with analytical issues. The life you want is what makes you happy. You should never feel as though you're obligated to find Mr. Charming and have his kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:59 AM
36

Carpenters can build jewelry boxes. I will freely admit that just like how there's money obsessed men, you will find money obsessed women, but if she actually cares, she'll enjoy a sentimental gift you made yourself just as much as whatever the trendy, overpriced fashion of the moment is. But this is FDS, not male dating strategy. We're not here to talk about low value women, we're here to talk about men and their value. You don't need to be made of money but help me god I will not date a 20-yea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:34 PM
6

Low Value Men keep a laundry list of worst case scenarios in the back of their heads as though there's always a hazard of them asking out an unhinged woman who takes that as attempted assault to justify their own cowardly behavior. And as though there isn't an equal- I'm being generous here- risk of women pairing off with men who are at best abusive and at worst will murder them and claim they were completely justified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:40 AM
15

It's more that any guy who isn't mature enough to accept that all of life carries with it an element of risk and failure isn't mature enough to seek a serious relationship with a woman. And hey, that's fine. High school is a time of learning and maturity is an ongoing process that lasts a lifetime. The problem is that time is ticking and accepting that a woman might just tell you 'no' is about as basic as it gets. I'm not expecting you to understand me and my ticks and my kinks and the rest of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:37 AM
16

If he's high value he'll wait. If he's high value, he'll be receptive to advice and direction. I've never heard of a man who goes through the effort of staying in a relationship without sex for months on end only to finally get it and then promptly lose it because he's selfish in bed and refuses to change. If sex really was the goal he wouldn't last more than a week or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:45 AM
40

Gotta learn to spot the signs. A guy who's personality radically changes depending on who he's interacting with is an enormous red flag. If he's nice to you and habitually abusive to, say, the waiter, you need to drop him. A guy who's always saying the right things and always telling you what you want to hear is an enormous red flag. High value men are not going to lie to you to spare your feelings- they can spare your feelings while being entirely honest. Someone who always tells you what you w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:27 AM
6

If he can't afford expensive gifts he can at least get something sentimental. If eating out is too expensive he doesn't have to do it every week, he can pick less expensive restaurants- maybe not chain restaurants and fast food, but the cheap Italian place instead of the ritzy, expensive French one- or, hell, he can just cook. Not asking for crown rack of lamb here either but you should be able to do something more complicated than pasta with jarred sauce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 03:41 PM
43

But he has a job he's already confided in you is about 5 hours of actual work spread over 40 hours a week!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 03:28 PM
40

More like volcel, because the trash out there just isn't worth dating. It's worse than trash; most incels are completely redeemable if they'd just accept that there's no instant gratification solution to their problem and it may take more than a week of dedicated self-work to actually bring them to something passable. It's almost as if... you all don't want relationships.... Guys want relationships, but mommy couldn't be arsed so they get it in their head that women exist to be their servants. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:44 AM
1

Oh, I wouldn't either. I've never heard of it working out, but I'm not willing to simply say, 'never.' For me it's gotta be all in once it's crossed that line, or I'll never regain the interest in him That's not exactly how relationships work. Sometimes the feeling's there but the timing is bad. It's not like you can't make the relationship work- a younger, dorkier me playing video games was in a raid guild with a couple who were juggling a new born, a master's dissertation, two full time jobs a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:29 AM
9

Do people literally walk around outside thinking about sex with the random strangers around them??? This isn't exactly a new idea, either. Plato characterized male libido as 'a frantic and savage master.' Since then, instead of teaching boys and men to temper their lust and to try and do something productive with that energy, it's become increasingly acceptable for boys to simply bathe in it. Their bad behavior is excused, and their parents would rather ignore the issue because heaven forbid a p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:36 AM
2

I wouldn't say 20 is too young, but it'd take two people who really get each other and wouldn't be bothered if their partner fundamentally changed in adulthood. I wouldn't discourage it but I'd scrutinize the decision. If he's really that into you, he'll settle with being exclusive for ~five or six years. Or he'll settle with being friends for five or six years and wont feel offended when you date other men. It's not like you're having sex with every pair of legs that takes interest in you, so w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:11 AM
5

he would have married you and stayed sober. It's more that he would have stayed on top of his addiction and when he relapsed he would have simply told you what happened. Which is completely understandable- heroin is one hell of a drug and manipulates people in ways that can be difficult to understand. It is also not what he did. He kept his drug habit hidden for as long as possible, and then when it finally came out he pretended to be cutting the habit until he couldn't fake it any longer. Cutti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 01:55 AM
6

He left me with lots of debt from supporting him and hit me etc. Even an LVM has enough self respect not to treat their partner like a debt mule. Or committing assault. I wish I'd saved the Dr. Phil clip where he's talking about it because regardless of a woman's background he does isolate the problem with women who are trapped in abusive relationships; for whatever reason you lacked a positive father figure in your youth and as a result you never really built up that self esteem to the point th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 01:46 AM
23

'Hate' is a strong word. The way society behaves doesn't indicate it hates women, society behaves like women are dogs; something that simultaneously gets fawned over and treated like it's not human, and then also run like it's too stupid to make it's own decisions. Society wants women to perform tricks and to then be satisfied because it gave her a treat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:31 AM
84

Negative Value Men. While a low value man might be a pain to live with, they're not necessarily a negative presence in your life. Being in a relationship with them is more like cohabitation in the same space. You might have some chemistry and the sex might be pleasant but they don't really do anything for you and there's no end with them that actually enhances you- mutually or otherwise- by remaining with them. Negative Value Men are people who are a sink. They're a time sink, and emotional sink…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 09:25 PM
12

It kills them that after being raised to believe in a strictly fair, just world somewhere around when they realize they can't be children anymore, they also discover that the world isn't fair, its often not just, and everything the adults they knew were telling them about how the dating world actually works was something of a lie. That and the fact that if they want to attract someone who's got any self worth and value, they, too, must work on themselves and demonstrate value instead of burning …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 07:35 PM
3

Mgtow: how do I manipulate women, who I hate at a fundamental level, to have sex with me, even though I keep claiming to be going my way. Oh, I also plan to do criminal acts to random people, because hot women won't have sex with me. I liked MGTOW more when it resembled something out of a comic. For a group of people who insist they're swearing off women they're spending an awful lot of time not working on themselves and an awful lot of time fawning over women and how much they're not going to t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 07:28 PM
62

I’ve read repeated anal sex does increase your risk of rectal and anal cancer. Correct! Sexually active gay men have a notably higher frequency of cancers in that region to the tune of being about 20 times more likely to be diagnosed with any of that group of cancers. Much like sun burns elevate your risk of skin cancer, it does appear to be the case that repeatedly engaging in anal sex elevates your risk of cancer in that medium as well. Granted, not all anal sex is equal and there's a pretty b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 03:08 AM
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