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FightHateWithLove Archive

View 1 posts and 199 comments by FightHateWithLove on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
175

discussionFightHateWithLove/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/26 04:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
31

The Narcissist Feminists' Prayer Misandry isn't real. And if it is, it isn't that bad. And if it is, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not feminists' fault. And if it was, they don't mean it. And if they did, men deserved it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/07/26 03:20 PM
86

I think Mean Girls is pretty good for showcasing toxic femininity.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/07/26 03:16 PM
3

It's bioessentialism. Which is always conveniently a call to inaction, because if something is "natural" then not only is it appropriate, it's unavoidable. So instead of trying to fix anything, it just calls for you to come exploit the bad system as best you can. And of course with bioessentialism, you also get to make sweeping generalizations and treat them as the undeniable truth.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/07/26 03:53 PM
3

The point is to blame everything wrong with the world on men. It frames all women as victims of oppression and all men as guilty oppressors. It's used to justify all kinds of double standards, such as considering all of women's bad actions to be responses to oppression, and inconsequential. To treat women beating and manipulating men as less than abuse because they don't have "patriarchy" on their side. It's why it's considered appropriate to call any sexism that helps women to be "benevolent" b…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/07/26 03:49 PM
20

He assumes a lot of things that aren't universally true, most likely because of the Just World Fallacy. Women don't always know what they really want. The same is true for men. It isn't that "all the good men are taken", it's more that a lot of women don't know what "good men" look/act like. Many women will talk about how they feel like they need to put up a barrier to protect themselves. But if you say no to everyone by default, you only are ever going to connect with men who don't take no for …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/07/26 03:20 PM
26

Yeah, basically. I used to identify as feminist and when I first discovered MRAs I was glad someone was bringing up these points that seemed so obvious and wished feminists would acknowledge them, while also not understanding why MRAs kept making great points but then ending with "and that's why fuck feminism!" It was really the response of feminists to MRAs that made me turn away from feminism as I realized that feminism doesn't just focus on women because they happen to have more urgent issues…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/07/26 10:48 AM
12

>are subs like askmen which are filled with redpill and manosphere type Maybe I don't spend enough time on that sub but that has not been my experience at all. I find they freely talk about what's bothering them when asked,. True they don't fall over themselves to apologize for existing and immediately proclaim that women have it worse and turn everything back on the patriarchy. But they don't call women gynoids or anything like that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/07/26 02:30 PM
1

No, I would definitely find it a problem if women had all the power just as I would if men had all the power. The point of contention here is that I don't believe that men have all the power. "Man have all the power" isn't any more accurate than "Jews control the media." Yes, there are some very influential people in the media that happen to also be Jewish. But they don't have ALL the power, nor does the influence they have transfer over to other Jewish people. Likewise, yes most leadership role…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/06/26 01:50 PM
2

Yeah so feminists don't hate men Right they just push a narrative that everything wrong with the world is caused by men being in charge.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/26 06:02 PM
2

1) I'm not against women's rights. 2) I'm critical of specific things said and done by specific feminists and the flawed ideology that brings them to it. 3) Feminist hatred of men is driving young men away from the left, and everyone is having to suffer for it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/26 04:07 PM
1

So pointing out hypocrisy is hate, because the hypocrisy is actually love?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/26 12:14 PM
46

The plot of Anne Rice's "Queen of the Damned" is that a nearly omnipotent and omniscient vampire queen wakes after being asleep but still aware of the world around her for centuries. She decides she's going to make the world a better place by killing nearly all the men. Granted, she's the antagonist and the good vampires are determined to stop her. But at no point is anyone claiming she's wrong that the world would be a better place with (almost) no men. It's just that, you know, killing that ma…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/06/26 11:03 AM
2

I don't know if you're open to criticism but... The Duluth Model legally defines men as always the perpetrator, women as always the victim I would consider re-wording this because I think the Duluth Model is the official policy of a lot of law enforcement in the U.S. but it's not officially a law anywhere. I can see how the police's policy would basically function like the law, but I think someone reading this with a critical eye would spot that and try to tear you down for making it sound like …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/26 04:23 PM
17

I often wonder how these stats would change if you could somehow include "killed by partner's lover" in the mix.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/26 01:56 PM
5

We must have such different lives. Quite possibly. In my experience Feminist rhetoric and theory all revolves around the narrative that "Men oppress women." That's it. Full stop. The only time any nuance beyond that emerges is in response to harsh realities that disprove it as absolute. But even then that nuance is always couched in a way that can circle back to defining men as oppressors and women as the oppressed. I find that in most feminist spaces they don't even bother with the paper tiger …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/26 01:09 PM
14

Most of the time I've seen that though is when feminists specifically say women face something that men don't experience. And since the social contract says men are never supposed to complain, it makes sense when someone claims they don't experience something negative to correct them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/26 12:15 PM
30

I don’t think that really applies here. Feminism has never and will never be all women good and all men bad. And yet, every narrative you hear promoted by feminists only works if you assume everything negative about society is caused by men and that women are all blameless victims. highly niche and novel branch of feminism I always hear how the feminists we see and hear everywhere aren't real feminists, and that there's some large invisible collective of the true feminists that we never hear fro…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/26 11:36 AM
127

Ever notice how feminists only ever say that patriarchy hurts men too when in response to someone pointing out the obvious ways society disadvantages and restricts men? But then they'll go right back to framing everything as good for men and bad for women. Likewise when you point out how often women reinforce gender norms, then they'll say call it internalized misogyny and admit that women "can" enforce patriarchy "too" but then go right back to framing every problem in the world as if it's caus…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/26 11:28 AM
36

That's some real nice bio-essentialism there, Lou. I guess we should assume that men need to earn 20% more than women to be equal since men are just naturally better earners. And men should hold 80% since they just naturally lead more.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/26 11:23 AM
2

Totally agree which is why I think it's important to treat DV in a gender neutral way and teach EVERYbody to treat each other decently, to never resort to violence or tolerate violence, and that it's important to learn how to de-escalate because aggression tends to build on itself. Instead we have the Duluth model that endlessly repackages "Men shouldn't hurt women!" and refuses to expand in scope, thus treating all male victims and all victims of female abuse as irrelivent.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/05/26 03:15 PM
1

True. Which is a damn shame because you can't make successful policies based on bad data.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/05/26 03:05 PM
3

Wow, finally his eyes were opened to The Patriarchy™ and all it took was nonstop indulging in misandrist propaganda. Next he should go on a rant about The Great Replacement and how evident it is that people of color are out to kill white people because every time you turn on the news you mostly see PoC committing crimes while the victims that get all the attention are usually white. Clearly this extremely one-sided dynamic MUST be a reflection of reality and couldn't possibly be evidence of some…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/05/26 03:01 PM
2

It's kind of while how intersectional feminism gets it so backwards. But yeah, when you talk about the US criminal justice system discriminating against people of color you're really talking about men of color. When you talk about criminalization, demonization and violence against LGBTQ people you're largely talking about gay men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/05/26 09:07 PM
12

Corporations pander to women to exploit their insecurities? Shame on those corporations! Corporations pander to men to exploit their insecurities? Shame on those men!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/05/26 09:02 PM
14

I'd second a lot of these, so I'll add: Banning private prisons. They make a fortune off of tax payers then turn around and use that money to lobby to make more business from the criminal justice system, usually at the cost of men's lives, freedom, and ability to vote. Also not only should former felons be allowed to vote, american citizens that are in prison should have the right to vote.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/05/26 10:18 AM
13

I think it has more to do with society caring more about the safety of women and girls than it has to do with the actual relative danger their in.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/05/26 08:35 PM
27

Doesn't the "By other MEN!" narrative disprove one of the core tenants of Patriarchy theory that men use their power to the benefit of other men?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/04/26 08:44 PM
29

If you want to see a Leftist become a conservative before your eyes, just bring up men's issues Just like if you want to hear a Feminist spew prolife talking points just suggest that men should have a way to opt out of parenthood when an unplanned pregnancy happens.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/04/26 08:36 PM
1

Yeah and the "other discussions" tab is showing 25 other subreddits discussing this. sigh
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/04/26 11:26 AM
3

I'm super critical of feminism but I'm not sure I'd say more harm than good. That sort of makes it sound like I think we'd all be better off sticking strictly to gender roles, which I definitely don't. A lot of people still think "If you believe in gender equality, that makes you a feminist" so saying it's cause more harm than good sounds to them like you think gender equality is more harmful than inequality. Feminism has certainly caused a lot of harm in demonizing men, promoting discrimination…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/04/26 05:55 PM
20

It'd be really ironic if they went to prosecute the 1,000 telegram members and discovered the majority of them are women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/04/26 05:46 PM
2

For some additional clarity, the site Motherless that hosts porn, AND niche content such as videos of people being murdered, pirated movies, millions of videos of immoral stuff. The majority of the content there is generic porn and weird fetish stuff that's harder to find, like balloon popping, people getting canned food poured over their heads, and specific fantasy content like people turning into giants or anthropomorphic animals, etc. It's also largely un-moderated so yeah there's some really…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/04/26 02:00 PM
3

And you know one of the things Cammy said, Cammy can talk about this is, that it's kind of a unicorn to have a woman come in who's not ever used violence in her relationship. This is a confusing statement. At first glance you'd think he's talking about women that are participating in this program for "Women Who Use Violence", but if the program is specifically for women that have been arrested or court ordered to take this program why would there be any women who've never used violence in there …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/26 05:18 PM
29

Gay advocacy groups aren't expected to constantly parrot trans people have it worse. Sadly this is not the case.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/26 01:11 PM
18

Feminists to Men: "We are willing to listen and open to new ideas... about how to make you deny your own experiences and agree with us about everything." It's so frustrating to see what almost looks like an earnest attempt to reach out to men and boys but then to see them completely miss the point and fall back on archaic ideas about chivalry. I don't want to see Feminism destroyed, I want to see it evolve. But at every opportunity they choose to stay blinded by the oppressor/oppressed dynamic. …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/26 01:07 PM
4

Is it weird to anyone else that every quote includes the race and gender of the person quoted? Like they deliberately included it. It always feels icky to me. Like reminding me thats how democratic leadership sees me first and foremost. How much weight does my race and gender afford me when I speak on issues? I can see why you read it that way. But I interpret it as a good faith attempt to prove the diversity of the sources as a pre-emptive counter to the inevitable dismissals that this is just …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/26 02:12 PM
9

I agree with much of what you're saying but I feel I have to gently push back against: We believe in equal opportunities, not equal outcomes. That is often a right wing framing that's used to justify inequality. To a certain extent I do want equal outcomes. At least MORE equal in cases where there are extremely inequal outcomes. And specifically I want to ensure a baseline level of safety, heath, comfort, and dignity to everyone. Inequal outcomes should be considered a likely sign of inequal opp…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/26 04:02 PM
63

Exactly. Men are expected to be and seen as hyperagents. Everything that happens around them is caused by them and their responsibility. We don't look at their behavior and consider what circumstances might be leading them to this behavior, we just judge their behavior and tell them to change it. A man doesn't ask for help = He is arrogant and stubborn. (A thing he is doing to himself) A woman doesn't ask for help = She is afraid because she doesn't feel she'd get the support she needs. (A thing…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/02/26 01:16 PM
47

I think if people started calling out toxic women with terms like "small tit energy" or "fat chick syndrome" I don't think any amount of well, akshually would dissuade them from rightfully calling it out as sexist and body shaming.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/02/26 05:02 PM
6

From their perspective, it's a war for their survival. "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" The U.S. considered Vietnam going communist to be an existential threat. The U.S. considered Iraq selling oil in euros instead of dollars having WMDs to be an existential threat. Why is Russian's flimsy excuse (or delusion) any more valid? It's pretty damn obvious that Russia is still bitter and embarrassed about the U.S.S.R. collapsing in on itself and can't fully accept that its former countries …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/26 02:13 PM
1

That's not to say that men aren't generally more unsanitary than women Having cleaned men and women's public bathrooms before, I would absolutely say that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/26 12:26 PM
2

Yes this is horrible. The main thing to take away is that it's an example of just how ubiquitous and sinister male disposability is in every culture. Everything else OP is saying is obvious Russian propaganda. Now, I'm well aware that Russia is not the most popular country on English-speaking Reddit. What with violating human rights as a regular policy and spending unknown amounts of blood money on psy-ops to sabotage elections and push social divides across the planet. No, our attacker is not "…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/26 12:20 PM
1

This was also like, every sitcom ever except I Love Lucy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/01/26 12:45 PM
10

It seems to be just another variation on "Man up" "Take it like a man" "Be a man about it" aka "Suffer in silence, you shouldn't be vulnerable to pain anyway."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/01/26 02:50 PM
2

I don't even get how "Ask about leftovers" is a thing? Yes, I know sometimes you deliberately make more food than you plan on eating in one sitting so you can get more than one meal out of it. But you usually just hold back on how much you serve. I've never been in a situation where you weren't expected to at least finish what's in front of you. You might ask before having seconds.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/01/26 02:14 PM
31

That's wild. Men and boys tend to have more body mass than women and girls and so of course they need to eat more in order to function. "Ask about leftovers"? Not everyone prepares meals with the deliberate purpose of having leftovers to use later. In fact some people feel offended if you don't eat all of the food they've served. It's amazing just how many things will be attributed to misogyny. Apparently men hate women sooooo much that everything they do includes some motive to harm women. I gu…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/01/26 01:00 PM
36

There used to be a lot of weird urban legends about things gay men supposedly do like putting gerbils up their butts or using a catheter to fill their bladders with wine so they could piss it into each other's mouths. There was no evidence of these things happening but they spread like memes as if it were a widespread practice. I've noticed something similar happening recently with the idea that a lot of straight men don't use toilet paper because they consider it "gay." In certain online spaces…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/01/26 12:51 PM
3

Stoicism can unironically serve selfless functions Indeed. Because men are taught to see their emotions as a burden to others, many are stoic as a form of generosity. ("They don't need me making things worse by getting upset so I'll just stay quiet.")
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/12/25 12:33 PM
18

The idea of men being inherently violent is completely antithetical to most forms of feminism Even the most nuanced and generous definition of "Patriarchy" requires you to assume that there's something inherently malevolent about men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/12/25 12:29 PM
21

Yeah it still seems situated in an attitude of hyper-agency. There's very little acknowledgement of al the external pressures that lead men to believe their emotions (especially painful ones) are just an annoyance to others. The assumption is still that bottling up our emotions is just a thing we choose to do out of ego, and that there won't be any negative consequences for openly expressing our feelings.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/12/25 04:24 PM
25

“Men rarely catcall me any more. I hate that our culture makes me miss it.” Gotta love that aggressive lack of agency.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/11/25 07:52 PM
31

It's intellectual slight of hand. From one perspective you could argue that any gendered insult is an insult to both genders as it denies everyone their common humanity. BUT you mostly see this used by feminist narratives to turn biases against men into biases against women, and this is enabled by the larger societal bias towards seeing women as victims. In reality, both men and women face gendered discrimination and expectations. And most of the gendered shaming is basically "stay in your lane!…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/25 02:33 PM
14

1) Misrepresent statistics by using the widest possible definition of rape when it comes to what women experience, while using the narrowest possible definition for what men experience. 2) Spread this misinformation far and wide until women at large are terrified. 3) Shame men for women being afraid. See also: Domestic Violence
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/11/25 02:43 PM
6

The advice is never to help a man get a relationship, it's to make life easier for the women he encounters.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/11/25 02:24 PM
2

I'm not anti-feminist, I'm just not anti-man. As it happens that means I disagree with a lot of feminist framing. I believe in gender equality, which puts me in line with some feminism, but I also think that means rejecting chivalry, which a lot of feminism can't survive without.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/11/25 02:22 PM
32

I got into Rationalwiki for a while after learning about Conservapedia and seeing if there was any pushback to it. I had to give up on them when they insisted on leaning Libertarian. I don't know why so many people on the Left don't understand that it completely undermines the fight against bigotry to claim that bigotry is okay when you do it to the correct group of people.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/11/25 12:09 PM
6

It requires circular logic. We live in a "patriarchy" because men have all the "real power", and the only "real power" is the kind men have because we live in a "patriarchy". "Most politicians are men!" - And who elects them? "Most CEOs are men!" - And who decides which corporations succeed? "Men created the system!" - Really? But who teaches people to conform to it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/25 02:16 PM
9

I'm sorry but all of this is biased towards framing gender roles for men in a positive light and gender rolls for women as negative. It's like you've arbitrarily decided that having to wear pink is horrible while getting to wear blue is wonderful and take it as truth so obvious it isn't worth considering. People respect you more, listen better, don't stare at you everywhere People like you more, treat you better, don't ignore you everywhere and nobody expects you to spend 3 hours every morning j…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/25 01:55 PM
9

the "Nice Guy" meme was a feminist response to a growing online trend of men pointing out the tendency for women to reject men for the very qualities they claim to want. The heterosexual dating dynamic where men peruse and women filter actively penalizes men for being sensitive, empathetic and respectful, while actively rewarding men for being callus, aggressive and disrespectful. Women will write posts about how they feel forced to put up an emotional barrier where they reject men by default. A…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/25 01:29 PM
13

I wonder if it would be useful to have a stickie with a title something like "Yes, we are left wing" that has an acknowledgement of all the ways right wing ideology is harmful to men, and why we align with the Left? Things like: The Left supports worker's rights which primarily benefits men who still face the largest financial burdens and do the most physically demanding and dangerous jobs. The Left opposes needless wars which disproportionately kill and mutilate men. The Left opposes police bru…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/10/25 11:12 AM
7

I tend to agree. Feminists' male-bashing has been an albatross around the Left's neck. Feminists need to leash that shit, or the Left needs to consider turning on feminism. You can't hope to get the will of the people on your side while you actively demonize half the population.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/10/25 06:50 PM
77

This is actually refreshing! I'm really glad Ana Kasparian made the point at 2:51 to compare it to how women feel when men talk about women's appearances. There's this weird assumption with the trashing of men, that men shouldn't be as sensitive to insults as women. That all the good men should be able to take a punch. Like it's okay to pour shit on all men because only the weak/bad ones will mind. And of course AOC has to make the same everyone seems to make of conflating "Men" with rightwing/c…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/10/25 11:10 AM
8

One of the biggest reasons coming to terms with my sexuality was so profound for me was that it released me from the "Real Man" obligations. In the time and place where I grew up, being gay was an absolute disqualifier for being a Real Man®. You could be an intellectual and still be a Real Man so long as you were also athletic. You could be a musician and still be a Real Man so long as you did it to impress women. But for me, to accept being gay meant that I had to completely abandon any hope of…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/10/25 11:28 AM
24

I might be an outlier (probably am), but I learned to repress emotions because of pressure from women, not men, despite what feminists say about men being the ones responsible for that behavior. Not an outlier at all. Most children spend more time with their mothers than their fathers. This is true for every culture, across the planet and throughout history. And time spent away from parents is usually spent with a female authority figure such as a nanny, baby sitter, or school teacher. The vast …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/09/25 01:23 PM
12

No man gets to be a stay at home or part time parent. Eh. It's very rare but I have seen it happen. But yeah, it's rare enough that it isn't a realistic goal for a man to choose to do that with his life.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/09/25 01:06 PM
15

I hate how common it's become for some on the left to use the oppressor/oppressed dynamic to justify hypocrisy. It really muddles some of our core principles. Like, we're supposed to be against racism because it's wrong to discriminate against someone because of their race. Period. Yes, you can add nuance by understanding the context of history and how some systems and dynamics make different forms of racism more deserving of focus than others. But it should never be outright excused to be racis…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/09/25 01:06 PM
14

You're quoting Ted Cruz literally, explicitly saying that daughters' lives are more precious than sons'... and you think this is an obvious sign of hatred of women?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/09/25 07:08 PM
22

I never really thought about it that way but you're right. It's actually pretty remarkable that in a story with so much fighting, the real heroes of LotR are the hobbits. Males characters that are too small and weak to be effective fighters, so they run away from battles. And they aren't shamed as cowards for not fighting. It's just recognized that it's not in their nature to be warriors. And it's their meekness and relative lack of ambition that makes their role essential to the plot.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/08/25 01:41 PM
8

Yup. Men are conditioned to not complain about their wellbeing and everyone else is conditioned not to care about them when they do. So women get diagnosed with depression more because they seek help for it more, and aren't dismissed as often when they do. Women survive suicide attempts more often because many of these attempts are actually cries for help. Women are more likely to use easily survivable means because some part of them hopes that someone will rescue them, prove that they are cared…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/25 05:30 PM
1

Sure. And that's legit annoying. But how does she know the guy was doing so because of gender? Maybe he always fancies himself an expert and acts condescending to everyone.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/07/25 12:26 PM
37

The paradox of it is that in order to accuse someone of Mansplaining you have to assume you know more about his motives for speaking than he does, based on his gender.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/25 12:52 PM
13

I think there's some truth to the idea that homophobes to tend to have very traditionalist ideas about straight relationships and can't reconcile how a same sex relationship would work through those dynamics. But there's also the demonization of male sexuality at play. Women's sexuality is seen as sacred, pure, and vulnerable. While male sexuality is seen as dangerous, gross, and destructive. Thus, lesbians aren't taken as seriously and women who experiment with other women aren't seen as tainte…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/04/25 02:24 PM
4

I see it as another motte-and-bailey term. The less used but more defensible version of "Toxic Masculinity" has some nuance and takes into consideration the external pressures placed on men by society that lead them to suppress their emotions, disregard their own safety and yes, sometimes display dominating behavior for social clout. But most of the times it just gets used as men-doing-bad-things, and there's no real exploration into why some men behave that way. It just becomes "Hey, men! You'r…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/04/25 01:28 PM
4

God, I hate this trans topic so much. The left also sucks at trans topics. Nobody is willing to explain anything. Nothing makes any sense, and trans rights activists are calling everyone transphobic. Wholeheartedly agree. Trans advocates do a terrible job of making the case for trans acceptance. At some point there was a shift from "Adults should be allowed to change their sex" (reasonable and easy enough to defend) to "Everyone is whatever gender/sex they feel they are" without any real explana…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/04/25 03:25 PM
18

I guess it's a good thing I've only ever encountered 5 men in my life. /s
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/04/25 01:33 PM
2

I see the term Patriarchy used interchangeably with what I would call "(restrictive) Gender Roles" but also "Everything bad is because men are in charge." So I prefer not to use the term, and whether I agree that we live in one or not depends on how the person is using it. I believe we do live in a society with restrictive gender roles. But I don't believe men being "in charge" is the cause. One of the many restrictive gender roles that exist is the expectation that men should be strong, and pow…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/25 03:17 PM
17

I'd argue that having no more male leaders wouldn't guarantee all women/girl's issues would be solved. There's plenty of gender traditionalist women. And a lot of the faults with our societal structures would exist regardless of which gender appears at the top. Capitalism is still going to reward amoral/sociopathic behavior no matter who the CEOs are. Authoritarian power structures are still going to favor the most ruthless individuals, even amongst the "fairer" sex. Leadership type positions go…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/25 02:50 PM
76

It's frustrating because they're trying to make a valid point but can't resist going for the cheap "Men, am I right?" humor. This would be like lightly addressing women's issues but then turning it all into a joke about shopping for shoes.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 03:27 PM
32

On a side note : her book "For the love of men" is actually full of misandry. Second google result for "For the love of men" is someone on the menslib subreddit recommending everyone read it. So... yeah. It's frustrating because men (young men especially) really could use some guidance in the modern world. But it seems like the only people offering it are the worst people imaginable.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/01/25 01:07 PM
3

This is not the fault of women. Obligatory hypoagency. I'm not saying it's %100 the fault of women or even close. But I sometimes can' believe how much some people will deny the capability of women to influence others.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/01/25 07:59 PM
26

That the CDC is deliberately erasing male victims of rape by defining their experiences as not rape.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/12/24 05:35 PM
3

And gay bars hate how straight women behave. Different women act differently. But it is frustrating to witness a woman doing something that would cause a man to get kicked out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/09/24 11:30 AM
52

It's malagency again. When there's a problem the default way to look at it is to focus on what men are/aren't doing and look at how it impacts women. When men are lonely it must be something they are doing wrong. When women are lonely it must be something men are doing wrong. It's unthinkable to consider women's behavior to be even a contributing factor. Men are seen as the action takers. Women are seen as the acted upon. Also I had to laugh at that twitter thread. Dating Coach Who Is Himself Si…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/08/24 11:00 AM
66

They do all of this while ignoring how women and even feminists themselves perpetuate toxic masculinity and uphold the patriarchy. If they were honest about how much women contribute to "toxic masculinity" and "patriarchy" they wouldn't use those terms.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/24 10:55 AM
6

Let me guess, they defined misandry out of existence.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/07/24 12:28 PM
0

Everyone experiences some amount of loneliness and social frustration. It's part of the human condition. Where incels go wrong is internalizing that experience as part of their sense of self and identity. But being alone is a condition like being being sleepy or being dizzy. It isn't a characteristic like being tall or blonde. Unfortunately there's no guaranteed way to gain a sexual/romantic partner. People are too complex for that. All anyone can do is work on improving themselves to become som…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/06/24 03:28 PM
11

I think the sentiment is that anger is the only emotion "allowed" in that it doesn't diminish the perception of manhood. Men can still be punished for expressing anger but their identity as a "real man" won't be questioned for it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/24 01:27 PM
11

I've seen pretty much every reaction from men get "You're proving the point!" which makes me wonder what actually is the point of this meme? What are men as a group or as individuals supposed to do with this information? Apologize? Wear signs promising not to be so scary? Badger each other not to be so scary? Roll on our backs to expose our bellies to show submission whenever we encounter women? It just seems like a giant, collective "Fuck you!" to men and that we're supposed to laugh/shrug it o…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/05/24 11:47 AM
14

I actively try not to think/feel this way. But the latest nonsense with bears has resurfaced it. Like, how can so many women insult (literally dehumanize) half the earths population then act indignant when some of them are offended by it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/05/24 11:40 AM
44

Apparently if you see a woman being attacked by a bear, the best thing to do is hold back so she doesn't feel even more threatened.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/05/24 11:41 AM
19

I've always hated: "Be a man about it." "Man up" "Take it like a man" All suggest that men only have value when they suffer in silence.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/03/24 06:10 PM
9

This is spot on. I've come to recognize malagency as an essential ingredient in restrictive gender roles. Agency plays such a huge part in how we see gender that it changes the very way we think about men and women. If you see an article about Men, the focus is always on what men are doing, what impact are they having, and what that means for society as a whole. But if it's about Women, the focus will be on how women are, what's being done to them, what is or isn't being done for them, and what …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/24 07:41 PM
15

"Whataboutism" as a dishonest tactic is when you compare to something unrelated to the subject at hand. "Why should I be punished when others do worse things?" etc. But if we're talking about struggles that women face, it makes perfect sense to compare them to similar or analogous struggles that men face. Especially if men face the same issue but in a slightly different way. If a conversation is deliberately excluding male victims it isn't whataboutism to call that out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/24 12:11 AM
29

I believe there are restrictive gender roles that are taught and enforced by society. One of them is an association between masculinity and power, especially the kind of overt power you see with executive leadership. There's an expectation that men are supposed to be "in charge" and in control. Thus wherever you see a hierarchy, you'll see mostly men clamoring for the top of it. But I don't believe in the kind of Patriarchy as modern feminists describe because: These gender roles are not any mor…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/12/23 12:59 PM
7

All in all, one rebuttal I'd say is pretty good is that, if women were traditionally tasked with taking care of the child, that would include education, and propagating the system. So, if we accept that idea, then women were partly responsible with maintaining the system. This is probably the biggest single reason I can't buy into most forms of Patriarchy theory. If women were really for yearning for equality for all of human history, they could have easily trained it into the next generation an…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/07/23 06:34 PM
19

Well, first of all when women commit sexual violence it tends to be defined out of existence or just chuckled off (same with domestic violence). But it's also worth noting than when we say men are more likely to commit violent or sexual crimes, we're saying men are more likely to do the evil versions of the things that men are more likely to do in general. Men are expected to be the big, bold, loud, notable action takers and the pursuers of sex. Whether it's testosterone, societal expectations a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/05/23 12:00 PM
20

Nicely done as always. Might I humbly suggest that for the fourth page you either put quotations, indentations, or some other indications that "men must change themselves" is a sentiment you are addressing and not something you are asserting yourself? I'm familiar enough with your work to realize how the text was meant to be written, but it's a bit of a sudden format shift because the previous pages used the same text style to speak directly to the reader.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/04/23 08:39 PM
1

In addition to the expectation there's also a bias towards seeing it that way. Like when a woman commits a crime there's an immediate effort to try to find what made her do it, whereas a man committing the same crime is just seen as choosing to. Her crime might also be treated as less consequential.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/02/23 09:05 PM
50

I find the hyper/hypoagency to be a big part of gender rolls and biases. It's just assumed that men are super capable and invulnerable, while women are ineffective as anything but absorbers of consequences. Its to the point that when people think of men they immediately focus on the men's choices and actions, while discounting anything that might be influencing or impacting them. Likewise, when people think about women the focus is all on intrinsic qualities they have or on actions that are bein…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/02/23 12:07 PM
14

EE (cellphone carrier, in association with women's professional football) This one is especially weird given the specifics. The post text: SHE'S NOT THE ONE SENDING DEATH THREATS Sexist hate starts with men and can end with them. All men can be part of the solution if they call out hate when they see it. Pretty sure women can harass people over the phone. It's only a gendered issue if you focus on specific instances involving gender. How are men supposed to stop other men from making threatening…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/11/22 01:06 PM
14

Liberating people from ridged gender norms helps everyone. Sometimes feminism does that for men, but it's often incidental. For instance, the liberty for women to be breadwinners of a family if they choose created some opportunities for men to be stay at home dads if they choose. But because there's no feminist push for women to stop preferring men that make more money than they do, it doesn't create nearly enough opportunities for it to be a viable option for most men. So tearing down one gende…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/09/22 09:25 PM
6

I really wish more conversations about gender could have this much all around empathy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/09/22 07:02 PM
15

most expensive thing a man can wear. Exactly. It's more about demonstrating wealth than showcasing individual attractiveness, which is what men crave to have validated.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/09/22 04:58 PM
10

Unfortunately, there's some class issues here because a lot of social hobbies require wealth or athleticism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/22 12:06 PM
7

Confidence is definitely a big factor. But while confidence and sensitivity certainly aren't antonyms, they can run contrary to each other. It's easier to be confident if you're oblivious or indifferent to the feelings and wellbeing of others. Where as it's harder to be certain of yourself if you've very aware of how others might feel about you and it matters to you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/22 11:59 AM
5

We talk all day about how the expectations placed on women are harmful and have held women back, but argue the same for men and you're suddenly considered a reactionary? It seems obvious to me that all the elements in society that tell women and girls they have to be beautiful to have self worth, also tell men they have to demonstrate power in order to be valued. But the way "Toxic Masculinity" is used puts the responsibility entirely on men and boys, as if they spontaneously decide to demonstra…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/22 06:30 PM
81

I really hate that the "Nice Guy" narrative got turned into an insult at frustrated men. It's pretty obvious that the heteronormative dating scene tends to reward aggressive, persistent men while penalizing respectful, sensitive men. It shouldn't really be taboo to comment that men are told "women want nice guys" while being regularly shown the opposite. The way it got turned into "Nope! Women never reward toxic behavior. Men just feel entitled to sex and that's it." really sabotaged any way to …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/22 06:23 PM
5

Apparently my SO interpreted the comment as her only value is she’s funny and pretty. https://i.redd.it/zka9bro66dm71.jpg
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/06/22 02:10 PM
3

Right, but if the kittens in other countries didn't play as aggressively or they make up more nicely afterwards, it could suggest something specific about our country. I think some people consider the imperialism inherited from the British and continued by the U.S. as the root of all society's ills. I'd say there's a hell of a lot more to it than that, but I get where they're coming from.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/22 07:22 PM
6

It's awkward, but I'm used to seeing other left leaning people be bad at messaging. If I had to hazard a guess I think using "White Imperialism" here is trying to tie some of the conquest-focused sensibility found in American and British culture to men's difficulty connecting on a personal level. "White Imperialism" as I understand it is the attitude that white people are civilized, while everyone else isn't, which creates a justification for conquering and dominating. "It's okay to take their l…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/22 05:18 PM
5

Devil's advocate a little, but maybe when they say: White Imperialism What they mean possibly isn't terrible far off from what you mean by: This is an issue with American and British etc culture. Especially the former afaik. I know that one part of American/British (sometimes called "Western") culture doesn't gracefully translate into "White Imperialism" but both start to acknowledge that some of the issue is different from other cultures.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/22 04:57 PM
35

In addition to raw tribalism (with a zero-sum game mentality) the conflict usually comes from feminists who adhere to an oppressor/oppressed narrative about gender, which makes their version of feminism incompatible with male advocacy. Addressing systemic or even individual discrimination against men undermines a worldview where all gendered advantages go to males and all gendered disadvantages to go females.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/03/22 08:25 PM
1

But lived experience doesnt have a monopoly on raising awareness for issues. No, but it still has value. And people aren't always moved by raw data. IdPol has gone totally off the rails. Its become tribalistic and hateful. Its not about justice. There are certainly people who take it too far. But I think they get artificially amplified and used as an excuse to shut down legitimate attempts at justice. It also seems to me that the term "Identify Politics" is exclusively used to attack the left. N…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/22 08:41 PM
1

Because if you never consider anyone else's lived experience you become biased by your own lived experience. I'm white and I grew up in an almost entirely white environment, almost never interacting with anyone that wasn't white. It was SO easy to believe the prevailing view that racism was some old timey thing that was probably bad (but maybe not as bad as people assume) and that it was mostly taken care of when slavery ended and then Martin Luthor King said some things that got rid of the rest…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/22 02:32 PM
4

You see it in the growing penchant among some very-online conservatives to mock the physical appearances of their ideological opponents, and especially in the compulsive tweeting about “physiognomy,” mostly from anonymous trolls on the right but sometimes from young conservatives who ought to know better. Gee, what a strange coincidence that several different kinds of conservatives are racist and superficial. Yes, men should be physically strong. They should also exemplify traditional masculine …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/22 01:35 PM
8

For a start: Abandon the Men=Oppressors / Women=Oppressed dynamic. Recognize that men and women are both equally pressured by gender norms and guilty of continuing them. Recognize that gender equality should be about Individuality versus Conformity. Recognize their own bias about gender agency. Recognize that men have never been all powerful and malevolent, while women have never been completely powerless and benevolent. Basically, actual egalitarianism. No more rebranded chivalry.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/01/22 01:08 PM
2

“Over the years, I’ve heard many sex-positive people say things about straight men that essentially treat them as a monolith and characterize them in pretty negative ways, such as being lazy and selfish in bed or being inherently predatory,” Lehmiller says. Awfully brave of the author to include a criticism of her writing approach in the very article. Heterosexual men have a reputation for crossing boundaries Monolithic characterization. Check. Negative. Check. Inherently predatory. Check. Cis-h…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/01/22 11:12 PM
1

There's not really any evidence that we have too many people. We just have an inequitable distribution of resources. The word "just" is doing a lot of work here. Inequitable distribution of resources is a problem that's existed for at least as long as humans have been aware, and it's the ultimate reason for almost every hardship. The current system where the wealthy few continue to grow at everyone else's expense depends on infinite growth. Throwing more workers and consumers at capitalism delay…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/12/21 01:16 PM
13

Very much so. I think one of the biggest obstacles to male advocacy is the perception/expectation that men must show strength and self reliance. "Man up" "Take it like a man" "Be a man about it." all include the ability to suffer in silence. For a man to say he doesn't like the way he's being treated is to admit to being impacted by externalities and unable to handle them in silence. It's perceived as showing weakness, which for men invites dismissal and shaming. When I see other men dismiss or …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/21 03:20 PM
10

I don't think it's that men hide their emotions, it's that society doesn't listen or tells men they're "not being manly". I see the hiding and the shaming as an endless feedback loop.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/21 03:08 PM
7

Seems like a very broad generalization based on anecdotes. And if one were to play that game, aren't there plenty of instances where a woman pretends to be too scared/weak to do something so a man will do it for them? Isn't it also a trope where women resent having to pretend to be weak/dumb so as not to intimidate men?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/11/21 02:35 PM
10

Sheesh, the first big chunk of this is a lot of words to say "...boys these days are soft! Back in the good ole days, men were men and we liked it that way!" He kind of sort of almost turns it around towards the end by acknowledging that a lot of what society sees as "masculinity" is performative bullshit that favors some unhealthy behavior and attitudes. But it seems like he's still romanticizing the past. Like there was ever a time when pressuring all men to be a specific way was ever a good t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/11/21 02:39 PM
13

Male sexuality is considered more dangerous than female sexuality. I used to subscribe to the idea that homophobia (against men) was fear of being treated like a woman (somehow making it all about misogyny again). But I've come to realize that doesn't 100% cover it. While there is some truth to it, the more accurate way to describe it is as being uncomfortable redefining gender rolls inside relationships. You hear it in the classic question "which one is the man?" This can be interpreted as "who…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/09/21 01:44 PM
15

I loathe the Duluth Model, but it seems like you're using it to throw out some reasonable terms and concepts. We told their buzzwords such as "heteronormative" "Heteronormative" is a useful term to describe places where the default assumption goes to traditional concepts of male-female relationships. In fact, one of the big flaws with the Duluth Model is that it is itself heteronormative, in that it completely ignores same sex couples. "patriarchal structures" Yeah anything with "patriarch" is p…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/09/21 09:08 PM
3

Society: Men are not allowed to complain about X. Men: Um, okay? I guess X isn't so bad, maybe. Women: You men have no idea how bad it is to experience X! Men: Er... No! Of course not! Lemme go roll around in X to prove how much I don't mind it! Feminist Article: Men need to do more to protect women from X.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/08/21 06:49 PM
1

I'm assuming you (op) said the first part and the text between -18 and 12 is another person responding to you? Then after 12 it's you writing again. That sort of 'fragility' in either direction is a perpetuation of traditional societal gender-norms, not sexism. "This sort of pudding is a sweet foodstuff to be eaten after a meal, not desert" Semantic arguments seem to just go pointlessly in circles. This one is especially frustrating because I believe the perpetuation of traditional societal gend…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/08/21 06:39 PM
1

What does everyone think of the stereotype that men only want sex? It's insulting to both men and sex.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/08/21 02:08 PM
36

The "...yeah, by other MEN!" response to male issues always reminds me of the whataboutism regarding black-on-black crime in response to police brutality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/07/21 09:25 PM
5

Intersectionality is a good concept, or at least it would be EXCEPT for this glaring blind spot when it comes to male issues. Which is really weird because when you talk about black issues, you're largely talking about issues that specifically impact black males. Especially when we talk about prejudice in the judicial system. Intersectionality needs another arm that recognizes problems can be different without be better or less. Poverty effects men this way..., Racism effects men like this..., e…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/07/21 03:13 PM
1

Very easy. Flaws with some people who call themselves left aren't going to push me towards the blatant evil of the right. It seems like a lot of spaces on the internet want to compare the Dirtbag Left with the most moderate of conservatives, as though that were an accurate representation of the current political spectrum. Somehow the actual Nazis are just a joke, man, while tumblr weirdos are an existential threat. Tempting though it may be, I can't just start ignoring reality and stop caring ab…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/21 06:19 PM
5

Most of the problems with Feminism stem from elements of a gender traditionalist mindset. The idea that men are powerful brutes who need to be tamed or sacrificed for the safety and benefit of noble, innocent, powerless women is extremely old. I consider my views on gender to be to the left of Feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/21 05:54 PM
34

What kills me about the "Women planning things" definition is that they are describing leadership. Some of the other articles even admit this. Yet, in every other sphere where men are expected to be the leader, the initiator, the manager, the one who's ultimately responsible, this very pressure is seen as a privilege. It's seen as men dominating. And the reason it's frustrating to me is that this could be a source of mutual empathy. It could lead to a realization that both men and women experien…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/21 06:57 PM
10

I dislike Patriarchy Theory about as much as anyone, but if it points out the hypocrisy of using traditionalist misandry and shames feminists away from using it, maybe it's worth using feminists' terminology to drive the point.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/06/21 01:29 PM
3

The perception of Feminism is so wide and varied that I think it's fruitless to spend a lot of time arguing over what it is and what it isn't. Instead I think you'd be best served by only defending your specific beliefs on specific issues. If and when that leads to debating feminism itself you can bring it back with something like "I think many feminists believe..... but what I believe is...." and let the validity of "Feminism" as a concept and movement be incidental. If you want to try to maint…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/06/21 01:06 PM
7

Currently the concept of advocating for men and boys is so foreign that it's not on the radar of mainstream political discourse. It might seem right-wing in that most forms of feminism is opposed to it. But the right wing is fundamentally opposed to making things better, especially for human beings. Sadly, male advocacy is like Treebeard in that it's no one's side because nobody's on its side.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/06/21 01:50 PM
3

I think these are all excellent observations. However, I feel compelled to point out: “alpha male” types who teach their daughters the exact same thing? You think these feminist women are misandrist out of nowhere? They’re learning their misandry from men like them! There's no shortage of mothers, women babysitters and teachers that promote this as well. One of my big conventions with Feminism is the ignoring/diminishing of how much responsibility women bear for continuing gender norms. It's why…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/04/21 03:51 PM
16

breaks down the mental load — “cognitive labor,” in sociological terms — into four parts: anticipate, identify, decide, monitor. Sounds a lot like "leadership". You know, the thing men are usually described as being privileged, controlling and dominating for doing?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/04/21 11:47 AM
1

Y The Last Man has every male mammal dying (except for a dude and his monkey) with women running everything in the aftermath. I wouldn't actually call it misandrist though. Queen of the Damned has a vampire-goddess planning to improve the world by killing most of the men. The protagonists try to stop her to avoid blood shed but no one disagrees with her premise. That one was misandrist-ish. The premise of The Power sounds like it could be, but I haven't read it so I can't say. Likewise, I'd have…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/04/21 07:22 PM
3

A lot of these are just factually incorrect. You can also throw out the many that ad "if not poor" because most lists of female oppression include things don't' apply to women of privilege. The bulk of them seem to focus on part of a gender roll, observe that men and women tend to be associated with their respective gender roles, and just assume that gender roles for men are awesome while gender roles for women suck.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/04/21 09:37 PM
2

A whole bunch of them were repeating the same thing.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/04/21 09:27 PM
1

I agree with you. I think any such laws need to be highly specific on what can or can't be considered a criminal type of deception. For instance, I would agree that impersonating a person's partner should be considered rape (or at least some kind of sexual crime), because consent is non-transferable. Lying about fertility/heath status can present a potential danger as well. There should definitely be a legal disenstive for this behavior. But I don't think it's appropriate to lump it in describe …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/04/21 02:54 PM
8

This is one of my fondest wishes. That feminism abandon the traditionalist mindset of men being bad but powerful and women being good but powerless, and recognize sexism is way more complicated than "patriarchy". When I first started hearing MRA points I was thrilled because it all seemed like the logical extensions of feminist theory that seem to get ignored. So I was surprised by how much "...and that's why fuck feminism!" was in there. But looking at the feminist response to MRAs I saw just h…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/04/21 07:07 PM
5

It's especially frustrating because men feel a lot of societal pressure that they aren't supposed to complain about things, and under-play their own suffering wherever possible to display strength and invulnerability (tis but a scratch!). When you add in the expectation that men are supposed to be the ones pursuing sex you have a situation where men are EXTREMELY reluctant to report being sexually assaulted, especially by a woman. And they definitely are going feel the need to minimize the sever…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/21 11:51 AM
4

mansplaining The inherent contradiction is that to accuse someone of it you have to assume you know more about their motives than they do.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/21 07:43 PM
3

1) I'm pro pornography. To the extent that legal pornography causes any harm is when consumers of it aren't full conscious of how fictional it is. Porn is a bad substitute for comprehensive sex education. But the lack of healthy attitudes about sex isn't the fault of porn. 2) Are there any Mens studies programs around the US? It's my understanding that nearly all gender studies are focused on the women's experience. 3) By your terms, I strongly prefer feminism neutrality. I think Anti-Feminism i…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/03/21 03:09 PM
5

I think people's reactions to men showing vulnerability is part of "men are taught.." Whenever I talk/think about how society teaches men to behave, I certainly consider treatment of men to be big part of it. There definitely is a lot of direct attempts to teach gender rolls to men such as the common expressions you listed. But I think experiences and witnessing of how men are treated are themselves "teaching".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/03/21 04:51 PM
12

I would point out the similarities between this response and the typical "gang violence" whataboutism response to BLM. It isn't relevant to the disparate impact of the victims. It certainly doesn't offer any solace. It ignores a tone of external factors that contribute to the issues. It's victim blaming. It's othering by claiming it's an inter-group problem and not a greater problem for society. It's a shallow excuse to diminish the significance of the problem. It also seems to be to be another …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/21 02:57 PM
6

the planning work When "emotional labor" comes up, one of the fascinating things to me is how being "in charge" of the household is considered a burden. Not just the physical work, but the very sense of responsibility for deciding how things should be done and ultimately making sure they are done that way. In almost every other instance, this role of the executive decider is placed on men and it's seen as a privilege. It's considered evidence of men dominating the world and controlling women. Yo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/02/21 02:16 PM
1

Simple statements are open to interpretation, especially when responding to complex issues. Like "It's ok to feel like a relationship would make you feel happier." True, but are you telling this to a lonely person who beats themselves up over thinking they deserved to be loved, or are you talking to a co-dependant who expects a relationship to magically solve all of their self-esteem problems? It makes me think of "it's okay to be fat". This is a good message to someone with an eating disorder t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/21 02:19 PM
8

My perspective is that I'm a man and therefore everything about me is masculine as long as I'm being true to myself. Taking human characteristics and separating them according to which gender is more likely to exhibit them the most seems like a pointless exercise.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/21 09:43 PM
10

I'm always bothered by the narratives that paint male desire as inherently degrading and harmful. As someone that both distributes and receives male desire, I definitely don't see it that way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/01/21 03:45 PM
8

That men act primarily for the benefit and approval of other men. In my experience most men (especially straight men) are very preoccupied with winning the approval of women (even women they aren't sexually pursuing). I know that when I accepted my sexuality one of the many liberating aspects is that I no longer felt desperate to be the kind of man that would impress women. The dating field among gay men allows for a much larger range of body types and personalities. When I was trying to date wo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/01/21 03:36 PM
4

In and of itself I don't honestly have a problem with that post. A big stumbling block with talking about bodily autonomy and consent is the double standard with gender. Where women/girls are taught that their bodies are sacred and must be protected. While boys/men aren't supposed to even care about the health of their bodies, much less have any sense of reverence about them. The captured paragraph the poster focuses on rough-housing, which I think has meret as being one of the many ways society…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/20 02:16 PM
7

men who "dodge" the draft are not praised as heros ! they are mocked and ridiculed ! it's even considered an accusation ! an article in the Times titled "Cheney accused by rivals of draft dodging" another say "Donald Trump is a draft-dodging coward" In both of those instances it's the hypocrisy that's being criticized. Both of them supported the War they dodged and military actions in general. They are cowards by their own standards.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/12/20 03:29 PM
3

he was the first president since Carter to not start a war, right?) That depends entirely on what you would consider starting a war. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2017_Shayrat_missile_strike https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_missile_strikes_against_Syria And as with so many other issues it's important to put data in context (something the OP video manages to avoid so artfully) of what the existing trend was before Trump came in. https://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2020-54060026 The chart shows…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/11/20 12:58 PM
7

The video that cherry-picks and misrepresents so much data now makes me second guess all her other videos.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/11/20 12:38 PM
3

"Bromance"? What, is it 2009 again? Oh, god I've got to warn somebody about what's coming...! Seriously though, I always thought it was a stupidly contrived term thought up by buzzfeed or somesuch that trended and then fizzled. Friendship has always existed between males so giving it some quasi-homoerotic-inscestual term was dumb. I do think society's homophobia has historically made men and boys unconsciously limit how much affection and intimacy they can show to one-another. So maybe giving ma…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/11/20 12:33 PM
3

Yeah I agree. All of this reads a lot like "All Lives Matter" (which somehow never gets thrown at the Blue Lives Matter folk) I'm seeing a lot of very ungenerous characterizations of what "woke" people allegedly really mean when they talk about race, but not a lot of actual breakdown of actual arguments. It's not hard to find "Men are scum" "drink male tears" "boys are dumb, throw rocks at them" but I don't actually see "whites are born with original sin" "bigotry against whites is okay"... Now …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/10/20 12:04 PM
6

Very well done. It's interesting that even the professor uses some language more sympathetic to women. ...because women continue to earn less than men and because, when a marriage ends, women have custodial responsibility for children... As opposed to: ...because men continue to bear more financial responsibility and because, when a marriage ends, women receive more custody of children...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/10/20 11:29 AM
1

This framing always struck me as a false dichotomy that's meant to handwave away injustices. Equality of opportunity isn't always apparent. Disparate impact is a thing. If you gave everyone medium size shoes, that would appear to be equality on the surface. But only people with medium size feet would get shoes that fit. This sort of framing was used to justify marriage inequality because technically gay people could also get married as long as it was to people of the opposite sex. EQUAL OPPORTUN…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/10/20 01:13 AM
10

Because men are considered hyperagents, society puts a lot of pressure on them to be the ones who accumulate wealth, use force to protect, and pursue romantic and sexual encounters. Additionally, we usually ignore or diminish when women do any of those things. So when we look at bad accumulation of wealth (stealing, fraud, etc), or bad use of force (violence, often misguided attempts to protect someone or something), or *bad pursuit of sex/romance (harassment or even rape) of course we're going …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/10/20 08:58 PM
56

I look at it this way: Heterosexual men are assigned the role of the pursuer. Plenty of them don't like it, most straight women insist upon it, gay men don't have any problem taking or leaving this role as individuals. Sexual harassment is a type of pursuit (ie, the inappropriate/unwelcomed type). So of course any discussion that is hyperfocused on inappropriate pursuit is going to find mostly straight men. It always seems unfair to me to condemn men as a whole for following behavior that societ…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/09/20 11:42 AM
4

We also never spend much time talking about how statistically women control the purse strings by doing most of the shopping, and yielding more economic power in that sense. Whenever it is brought up, feminists are usually quick to point out that women do not spend this money all on themselves therefore such a disparity is irrelevant. Yet, this level of nuance is rarely considered when opining the so called wage-gap.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/20 11:23 AM
5

Y'all realize women want men to show emotions Citation needed.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/07/20 01:36 PM
3

Feminists are responsible the most for gender roles and sexist stereotypes. They were about 5,000 years too late for that. Because Feminists talk the most specifically about gender issues there's this perception that they are the dominant narrative on gender. But there's plenty of places, even in the heat of the most allegedly progressive places on earth) where gender traditionalism is alive and well. I think it's a mistake for any male advocates to focus exclusively on feminism as the problem. …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/07/20 02:13 PM
2

I definitely feel that one of the many ways I was liberated by coming to terms with being gay is that I no longer felt pressure to seek the approval of women. The economic pressure I feel now is more about survival and security for myself and my husband. But it's something we feel together as partners. There have been times when he made more than I did (and paid more of the bills) and vice versa. While I still worry about my appearance, I'd say it's more about my own vanity than external pressur…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 03:38 PM
11

I think that's just a side effect of Elam's right wing tendencies. Rightwingers favor hierarchies and essentialist understanding of things. So to him hierarchies = good, therefore hierarchies = male. But women can be just as competitive against each other as men (especially for social status) and will have pecking orders form in their social groups as well. The other side of hierarchy is curing cancer and landing on the Moon. That's another right-leaning perspective. All of humankind's greatest …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/20 06:43 PM
11

I like it. It adds much needed nuance into the analysis of gendered attitudes. I do think the panel with the transwoman (image 6, mid panel) misses the mark though. This is not passing. We shame people like this not for being outside of gender norms, but for not trying... seriously. Plenty of trans people have trouble passing, not for lack of trying, and still get shamed for it. And I would argue "Passing" is all about gender norms. A transperson "passes" when they successfully jump into gender …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 01:06 PM
1

It's uncanny how each and every single Reade supporter brings up Kavanaugh. Almost as if there's a concerted effort to both defame Biden and redeem Kavanaugh at the same time. Given, I thought it was a mistake to hyperfocus on the rape charge as there were plenty of other reasons to reject an infantile nutcase who committed purgy, spewed conspiracy theories and proceed to vow vengeance against the Democratic party once in power. That said, Ford was infinitely more credible than Reade whose offer…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/05/20 06:18 PM
3

I really like this article. It critiques a bad message/argument by breaking it down, without resorting to critiquing a group of people or a greater ideology. One of the big stumbling blocks for the MRM (and this sub is starting to slink that way) is that they make a great point/argument but then stampede directly to "and that's why feminists suck and feminism is complete bullshit!". Whether justified or not, attacking feminists/feminism will invite backlash and create the impression that male ad…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/05/20 12:34 PM
11

The reason I think the hyperagency/hypoagency bias is so important to address is that it changes the very way people think and talk about the genders. When people talk about men/boys the focus is always on their actions/choices, the consequences of those actions, and what those consequences mean for society. When people talk about women the focus is on how the women are, what is being done to/for them, and what responsibility society has to them. So it's almost impossible to get people to focus …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 11:43 AM
28

I wouldn't give the right that much credit. They think some men are superheroes but that the rest are worthless eaters. They don't recognize discrimination against men unless it's a way to attack feminism, and like all whataboutism it's an excuse for inaction. And they want women to get special treatment as compensation for baby-making.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/05/20 11:05 PM
2

I see this as another example of the different perceptions of agency. Because people tend to see men as hyperagents, the focus is always on what they are doing(active), and not their condition(passive). So if a man is talking about work (things being done) it's seen as relevant/important. But if he's talking about his feelings(how he is), that's not considered relevant/important.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/05/20 05:18 PM
2

Seriously. A chart with numbers but no labels? What is this, Bizzaro-Art-Laffer?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/05/20 11:30 AM
3

One could argue that the very concept of "history" is problematic in that it encourages thinking of the past as separate from the present. Especially when thinking that there's a "side" to history. As if we exist at the end of it. Some on the left have an unrealistic concept of purity, where people/ideas can only be 100% good or 100% evil (which is an assumption that is usually embraced by the right). This makes it so anyone who doesn't fit their current concept of woke (as though that will neve…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/04/20 01:40 PM
6

Devil's advocate for the audience in general: I don't know if it's objectively possible to say if it's better to be drowning in the ocean than dehydrating in the desert. I think all gender dynamics are fucked up for everyone, especially in hetero dating rituals. Since the grass is always greener on the other side, the natural assumption is that the problems facing oneself are worse. Where I think the situation for men almost certainly IS worse is that women are allowed to complain and can expect…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/03/20 11:57 AM
6

The conflict between TERFS and Feminist Trans Women shows a lot of misandry. Both groups resent being made to associate with people they perceive as "male" because they both see "male" as gross, violent, guilty of patriarchy and not deserving the reverence and special consideration that they believe only "women" are entitled to.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/20 12:54 PM
2

The right used to be much more anti-lgbt than they are today. And many are still against trans rights. In my experience they still are very anti-lgbt they just can't talk about it as much/directly as they used to. It's the same with how racism never went away, it just became taboo to talk about openly.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 12:16 PM
10

The first thing they mention is Ghosting (aka just ending communication instead of direct rejection).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 01:49 AM
20

One of the most pervasive gender biases is the different perceptions of agency. Men are considered almost completely responsible for their own choices and actions, while women are assumed to be pressured or forced into everything they do. So in addition to the empathy gap changing the perceived significance, you have the agency gap changing the direction of blame. Men kill themselves? It's not considered that important and it must be their own fault somehow (weather perceived weakness or toxicit…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/01/20 05:12 PM
11

The "Stop and Frisk" policy disproportionately targeted men. According to this article (which of course frames it as outrage that any women were targeted) says: While the number of women stopped by officers in 2011 represented 6.9 percent of all police stops, the rate of guns found on both men and women was equally low, 0.12 percent and 0.13 percent, respectively. So in other words, men were ~13.5 times more likely to be targeted by Stop and Frisk despite being about as likely to carry a weapon.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/11/19 12:37 PM
9

The other problem with "more women attempt" is that a person that survives a suicide attempt is more likely to try it again, which throws off the numbers. So if 4 men commit suicide, and three women attempt suicide twice it would count as women trying more often, even though it was actually more men trying. It's similar to the misunderstanding of the "half of all marriages end in divorce" statistic. It only takes a few people getting married and divorced several times to make it look like nobody…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/11/19 08:10 PM
12

the male-leaning health model Even this isn't entirely universal. While it's true that heart disease what thought to be a mostly male thing and therefore underdiagnosed in women (who experience different symptoms), many dietary and emotional health models are laser focused on women. For instance, men don't need nearly as much calcium or iron as women. Yet these are presented as essential nutrients that you can't get enough of. But men can absolutely get too much calcium and/or iron which can lea…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/10/19 12:34 PM
8

Overall, I like this video. Perhaps I'm obsessed with the Agency Gap, but it really does seem to me like every discussion about gender gets influenced by it. One example: 26:45 So, while feminism tells women "You hate your body and you're constantly doubting yourself because society did this to you and and needs to change." We kinda just tell men You're lonely and suicidal because you're toxic. Stop it." She's (rightly) criticizing this approach and goes on to suggest we need more positive examp…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/19 02:08 PM
3

There's two separate issues here that appear to be canceling each other out. A) He broke consent and violated conditions that he agreed to, even if he didn't think they were fair. B) The conditions were kind of unfair and based on double standards. The focus seems to be all on A, and anyone mentioning B is assumed to be trying to justify A. Personally, I assert both A and B are both valid points that do not cancel eachother out. OP, I assume you are taking A for granted and what you are criticiz…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/19 01:13 PM
3

Yes, a term like internalized misogyny can be used to invalidate the opinion of any woman who doesn't tow the feminist line. At the same time, pretending that the choices people make can't be influenced by their culture, upbringing and religious indoctrination is also a slippery slope. This is why I think "Internalized Misogyny" as in "Women accepting and enforcing gender roles that restrict them" is a valid concept. But where it fails is when it's presenting as an exclusive concept. Men are als…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/19 12:17 PM
3

So far? It's newer. I think what will differentiate in the future is if the posters here can figure out how to criticize feminism in a constructive way without tacitly endorsing gender traditionalism, and criticize gender traditionalism without blaming men for 100% of it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/19 11:40 AM
1

I said in half of society it wins brownie points Fair enough.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/08/19 03:56 PM
3

Criticizing right-wingers is socially acceptable and in half of society it wins brownie points. Have to disagree with you on this. The word "deplorables" sent more than half this nation (including the media and centrists here) into an absolute tizzy, while hippie-punching has never gone out of style.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/08/19 11:22 PM
13

A lot of the misandry the MRM talks about is especially pronounced against black men. And the left already recognizes it there. Higher incarceration Perceived as brutish/threatening Lower life expectancy Higher likelihood of drug abuse Etc. I also think race gives us a good model for recognizing that discrimination isn't always uniform or unidirectional. The racism against asians is very different from the racism against african-americans which is very different from the racism of antisemitism. …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/07/19 12:23 PM
5

I don't think you can definitively draw many conclusions from this. Not identifying as "Feminist" != disagreeing with Feminism. A non-insignigant number of the surveyed could feel they aren't politically active/engaged enough to merit the description. ie: "I sing but I wouldn't call myself a musician." "I like Star Trek but I don't consider myself a Trekkie." etc.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/07/19 12:47 AM
1

"Heehee 2016 will see the demise of the white male! White men if you have a problem with us celebrating your end you're a bigot. Vote Hillary! " I have serious problems with Hillary Clinton (didn't support her in either primary), but I honestly did not interpret it that way. To the extent that her supporters were gleefully celebrating the demise of anything, it was what they genuinely perceived as domination by white males. Now, I think it's wrong headed to think "white males" dominate everythin…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/19 05:00 PM
4

One of the many obstacles any male-advocates will have is societies' assumption that a man's worth is tied to his ability to endure hardship without bothering anyone else. So not only is it rare to find anyone willing to acknowledge that a man is being mistreated, it's rare for men themselves to acknowledge/admit it. Even in the face of severe injustice, men will tend to reject offers for help, and perceive it as an insult to their self worth. In male spaces it's common for men to tear eachother…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/19 02:03 PM
5

Feminism has always been flawed. And it has always been evolving. Pretty recently transwomen and women of color managed to get feminism to steer towards intersectionality. It is my hope that feminism will continue to evolve and abandoned the Oppressor/Oppressed dynamic that currently makes it incompatible with male advocacy. I think the laser-focus on anti-feminism has made much of the MRM environment toxic and a breeding ground for the alt-right. Any movement that hopes to successfully promote …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/07/19 11:50 AM
1

Agree with all this. I'm trying to make the distinction between criticizing feminism for gender traditionalism and blaming feminism for it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/07/19 11:38 AM
1

Trying to pin the blame on "conservative thinking" simply dismisses it by just trying to blame the past. Conservative thinking about gender isn't just in the past, though. Most of the ways I disagree with feminism are based on what I see as antiquated ideas of chivalry, sex-negativity, and a biased view of agency. All of which existed before feminism, and continue to exist outside of it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/19 08:36 AM
1

fixated on anti-feminism to the exclusion of everything else I totally agree. I'm hoping this sub will find a way to be critical of feminism in an objective way, while also appropriately criticizing any other forces that work against men's well being.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/19 08:29 AM
1

It seems like the current MRM is so fixated on anti-feminism that they can't help but be right wing. But while it's true that feminism generally fails to address hardships for men, all of those hardships are borne out of conservative thinking about gender.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/07/19 11:18 PM
1

My thoughts: When I came to terms with my sexuality and started dating men I found my lack of traditional masculinity to be far far less of an obstacle than it was when I sought sex with women for validation. So while I agree that there's still pressure to be "masculine" for men dating men, I find it pales in comparison to that of men dating women. In my experience the "masc only!" phenomenon is usually projected anxiety about oneself not being masculine enough. The few gay men I've met in real …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/15 05:24 PM
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