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Flightlessbirbz Archive

View 8 posts and 10,066 comments by Flightlessbirbz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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It needs to be somewhere in between. Either being too different or alike causes problems. Like my husband and I are both ADHD and have trouble staying organized, which sometimes sucks because our house is a mess and we forget things, BUT a neurotypical person realistically would not be able to tolerate either of us. However, he can do things I can’t, and I can do things he can’t, so together we make one semi-functional mess of a human, basically.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 10:20 PM
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That is true. “But if we’re honest about just wanting sex, women ghost us!” Yeah because those women aren’t interested in casual sex. The answer is to find someone who is, not trick someone who isn’t and wonder why women don’t trust men and “make them wait” for sex. And yes, sex is “the only expression of love men understand” when their wife is too tired, but “sex is purely physical to men” when they cheat or want to hook up. In reality, sex is EGO validation to men. Nothing to do with love nor …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 09:22 PM
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I don’t think it’s that easy to put men in “normal and well-adjusted” and “toxic and rapey” boxes. I think most men seem fairly normal and well-adjusted on the surface, but have at some point or another acted in a toxic and rapey manner. I reviewed that study in-depth, and the percentage of men who straight up admitted to what would be legally defined as rape WAS concerningly high (around 14-30% if I recall, the way the study was conducted made it impossible to get an exact number for just legal…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:32 PM
0

Feelings blossom over time, sure, but one generally knows if they see someone as a romantic prospect before things get to that point. Just one day realizing you’re falling for a close friend you never were attracted to before and saw as strictly platonic is something that only happens in movies. The only exception I’ve know of happening irl and experienced myself to some extent, is when a closeted bi person realizes their feelings for a long-time friend of the same sex are not just normal friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:11 PM
1

I agree it’s best to end the friendship in this case. Doubt many people would disagree. I think what most women are saying instead is more like “don’t let it get to the point of close friendship and feelings developing before finding out if she’s interested.” Because it’s rare to see someone as just a platonic friend, and then suddenly one day feelings hit. He almost certainly knew he wanted to date her, not be friends, before reaching the close friends stage. It’s totally fine to get to know so…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:28 PM
4

That doesn’t make much sense to me. I guess my question is: what does being “loved for who they are” mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:02 PM
9

So I’m partly with you, but I don’t think 50/50 is the heart of the problem here. There are situations where the man wanted the woman to quit working entirely after having a baby, and then became financially abusive or abusive in other ways. Or started cheating while she was pregnant or soon after the baby came along. Many different stories, all centering around a man’s behavior taking a sudden turn for the worse after a baby entered the picture. The heart of the problem is that it seems you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:45 PM
11

The irony to say women are “loved for who they are” while the overwhelming sentiment from men on this sub is that women are all boring as hell and basically interchangeable and men must hit on every woman they meet and pretend to care about who they are in order to get laid. That really does not seem like being “loved for who they are.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:29 AM
2

I agree to an extent, in the sense that people who are chasing sex shouldn’t be pretending to want a relationship. But some social norms exist for a reason, as in having some stranger approach you online or irl and ask for sex feels rather violating. You can be open about just/primarily wanting sex without being rude. “I’m looking for something casual,” or “I’m looking for friends with benefits,” are some ways to state it that are very clear but not rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:34 PM
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If men really wanted to be stay at home dads and saw it as a privilege, they would be trying like hell to make that happen. No, they have always left that to women because they know in most cases it’s a bad deal. They see unpaid labor as beneath them, which is why they often refuse to take on their fair share of household responsibilities and parenting in dual income households. Most feminists do respect SAHMs, and believe that their work should be fairly compensated with actual pay, not just ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 11:40 AM
1

Yep that too. I’ve even heard men say they like bad girls, and surely they do not mean “mean women who treat other people horribly.” Usually they mean a woman who is confident, fun, lives by her own rules, and of course a bit wild in bed. So, really shouldn’t too much of a mystery that a bad boy is more like the male version of that rather than an evil person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 11:18 AM
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“Used” =/= “assaulted.” This is like saying that “If he wasn’t robbed, she didn’t use him for money.” No, while I do think in both cases people are often hearing what they want rather than what they’re being told, I acknowledge that if a woman pretends to like a man to get him to pay for things for her, he got used for money. By the same token, if a man pretends to like a woman to get sex (or money even), she got used for sex (or money). People can and do lie about how they feel about other peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 11:05 AM
1

I realize that people’s opinions and perceptions vary, I’ve just noticed enough men describing “bad boys” as something completely different from any woman’s idea of a “bad boy.” And ascribing all sorts of negative personality traits to men who are physically attractive, athletic, or outgoing, when really anyone can be a decent person or a massive jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:43 PM
2

Yep, that’s what women mean when they say “I like bad boys.” Men mean “man who is more successful with women than me who I have assigned all sorts of horrible character traits to including constantly making fun of fat people and perhaps kicking old ladies and eating babies on the weekends.”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:35 PM
-2

Nah, I’ve often seen guys describe other men as “bad boys” for reasons as silly as going to the gym or having any traditionally masculine hobby or self-presentation. A lot of circular reasoning goes on, as in “women like bad boys, therefore if this man is attractive, he is a bad boy, which proves women like bad boys.” They may imagine that these guys “make fun of fat people all the time,” but it takes far, far less to get the “he must be a bad boy” accusation thrown out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:21 PM
1

Of course there’s no obligation to remain friends with someone you want to fuck who doesn’t want to fuck you. In fact, you should not. But the entire problem is becoming friends with them in the first place when that’s not what you wanted and then crying about it. I do not believe that there are all these women divorcing their husbands JUST because he’s “not cleaning house to her standard.” I believe that is one of the many elements that amount to “he is not taking on any responsibility and not …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 11:26 PM
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If moving in together and having fucking children isn’t “clear,” I don’t know what is. That’s like applying for a job, doing the interview, them saying “see you on Monday,” working there for a few years, and then one day your employer tells you to go home. You ask if you’re fired, and he says “Actually you don’t work here, you never have, we never said the words ‘you’re hired,’ and you never asked, so we just let you come in every day.” Meanwhile, men will claim that their platonic female friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 08:31 PM
2

This comparison doesn’t even make sense. A friendship isn’t a romantic relationship. A marriage is a partnership. The comparison would be “If you truly loved your wife, you wouldn’t care if she did the housework/had sex with you/took care of the kids.” And we all know no man is staying with a woman who doesn’t do any one of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 01:08 PM
9

I once broke off a three-month relationship with a guy because although I genuinely enjoyed his company and nothing bad had happened, I knew I was not really ready to be in a relationship again and didn’t see a future with him. I had attended a dinner at his sister’s house and met his friends, and felt guilty for even having done these things knowing how I viewed our relationship. Even though we hadn’t done the “what are we?” talk, I recognized these as “relationship-related activities,” and tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:41 PM
8

You’re talking to a woman in an open marriage (with pretty strict boundaries but open nonetheless), so to me, open relationships and commitment aren’t in any way mutually exclusive. Like I don’t see an issue with introducing someone you’re not yet ready to propose to your family, but if you already know you don’t see yourself ever having something serious with someone, that should be openly discussed before letting them invest their time and energy in a relationship with you. The natural progres…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:03 AM
20

I feel like there is a difference between assuming a platonic friendship will lead to sex, and assuming a romantic relationship where you’re meeting the family will lead to commitment. Now, if the relationship is strictly sexual/fwb, I’d say that assuming it’ll lead to a committed relationship is analogous to assuming a platonic friendship will lead to sex. Misguided wishful thinking, basically. But if you’re in a romantic relationship with someone and progressing it to the point of meeting each…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:50 AM
4

You are the one claiming that non-breadwinner men who aren’t doing their fair share at home must be getting their finances shafted, either justly or unjustly. No other possibility is presented. Why are we now assuming that the money isn’t being steered towards the kids? “We have no idea how many of these men are dealing with really psycho high-earning women who have starving kids” — huh? This is an even bigger leap. I cannot imagine there is any significant number of high-earning women letting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:59 PM
1

Men don’t seem to care about being labeled incels and canceled for attacking everything feminists/women do, apparently only for standing up for men’s rights issues that can’t somehow be blamed on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:06 PM
10

The problem here is the leap from “make major financial decisions” to “shaft their finances” with zero data to suggest such a claim. I mean is it possible in some cases? Sure. But the simplest explanation is that men just aren’t socialized to see household work as their responsibility and therefore don’t do as much of it regardless of employment status. Even the way you’re framing this (as “men aren’t doing chores because they’re not being paid”) demonstrates that men and women often don’t view …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:11 AM
7

I think you are assuming the wrong reasons for people’s suggestions that you focus on dating your own age group. It’s not that a less experienced woman in her 30s is some vulnerable little girl, but that as someone who’s 47 and never been in a relationship before, insisting on this demographic essentially makes you a “choosy beggar” who is likely to stay single. Your realistic dating pool now consists of 40+ women most of which will have children, and these women are not actually any more likely…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:37 AM
1

First one about giving head is a little weird, could perhaps have been a hygiene issue? Scenario 2 sounds like plain ‘ol living and learning. The same reason I won’t drink straight 100 proof moonshine again even though I thought I was “having fun” at the time. Men allow themselves the grace to mature and learn from mistakes, but don’t want to allow women the same, instead they solipsistically make it all about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:00 PM
2

Well I agree it’s best policy to just move on and shut the door, but at the same time, I’ve heard of enough happy couples where one or both initially was unsure, that I don’t want to make it an absolute. (The absolute is not harassing/pressuring someone.) Especially when many people here tend to take things in a very black and white manner. But, I will concede that there’s really no reason she can’t woman up and be the one to ask, and would be a major risk otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:43 PM
1

This post is giving “woman written by a man,” I’m not buying it. Now the premise is true — one can’t help who they are/are not attracted to. (And men aren’t actually attracted to most women either.) But staying with someone you’re not into just because they do nice things for you is wrong. Some women do this, some men do this, and it’s always wrong. Most women don’t feel sexual desire for someone they don’t have any connection with, so it’s fine to go on a few dates and see if that develops, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:41 PM
5

The short answer is if you get a no, accept it and don’t ask again. 99% of the time this is the correct course of action and will save you from humiliation and being seen as a nuisance. However, there is nuance to every interpersonal situation. Sometimes circumstances change (a breakup, getting to know someone better) and she may now be interested. Now the ball is in her court, and really she should be the one to ask, but some women won’t do that. So the LEAST you should be looking for in these …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:25 AM
1

Women don’t get unconditional love from men either, as they shouldn’t, unless that woman or man is one’s daughter or son. Unconditional love is parent/child love, because children need that in order to ensure their survival. Otherwise, unconditional love would be an evolutionary liability. Speaking of “unconditional love” then turning it around to be about “leverage and power” shows everything wrong with whatever this sort of thinking about relationships is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:03 AM
2

It absolutely does matter, if you love them it’s still not actually doing them any favors. Even mothers can coddle their own children too much and negatively affect their lives, and that love is unconditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 10:53 PM
19

This is true, but it goes both ways. If an “average” man keeps getting rejected by the “average” (young slim attractive) women he wants, he probably is not in fact “too good” for the women he does not want. And this is an extremely common complaint. However, what is also true is nobody is obliged to settle for someone they can get if they don’t want those people, and they really should not for the sake of them both. People are allowed to have unrealistic standards if that’s what it takes to make…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:54 PM
2

So a lot of this post is quite rambling and doesn’t make a lot of sense, so I will only address the main point. Women are not naturally averse to nurturing men they care about. In fact, it’s very natural. What happens is we start to become averse to the idea of mothering our partners when we’ve done so too many times with poor results. The boyfriend whose laundry you did as a way of showing you care, entirely stops doing it himself. The husband who you took on two jobs to support during his unem…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:06 PM
5

Ah okay, so you’re either a troll or a 14 yr old who’s mad mom told him to stop pissing in bottles while gaming. Your future self will thank you if you stop doing that and also stop making embarrassing comments online, but you’ll probably just have to live and learn. Good luck, kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:55 PM
2

You think you did something, and had OP’s claims not been purely anecdotal, it might work. But with this thread, it does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:25 PM
6

What is OP’s source? What could a source on this topic possibly be? “Source” only works for measurable data claims.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:35 PM
15

Women in their late 20s and older generally do know what they want, but men complain about that too. Then she’s “too picky” and needs to be more open to different types of men. If anything, it tends to be men who are always seeking variety, which they will frame as more virtuous, while women’s standards are deemed exclusionary. So to see this just reinforces what we already knew — men will always be upset with women’s preferences, or apparently, lack thereof too. (Yes, women often don’t like men…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:19 PM
3

Did I miss where in the video she says she doesn’t/wouldn’t do this for her husband? From what I can see, that was just a comment from the goober who shared the video. Do I think some women put more effort into sex during the early stages of a relationship? Sure. Same way men put 10x more effort into… well, everything, usually including sex, during the early stages. People get comfortable and may think it’s not necessary to try as hard to impress someone they already know wants to be with them. …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 06:57 PM
9

This is just an example of black and white thinking and slippery slope arguments that could be applied to literally any movement or type of social progress. It’s like claiming you can’t be mad someone ran into you at the intersection or sold you a lemon because YOU wanted a car, this never would’ve happened if we’d just stuck with the horse-drawn carriage. (Your horse would just get sick or stolen.) Every generation faces its own problems and has its own jerkwad people who are able to do what th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 06:38 PM
–

A) The vast majority of women have always worked, both inside and outside the home, what women fought for was fair compensation and being able to actually own what they worked for. B) This entire post is operating under the assumption that men cannot also perform unpaid labor/that women must settle for men who won’t, which is false. Men have always avoided unpaid labor and pawned it off on women because THEY saw/see it as beneath them. “Either we both work outside the home and you do all the unp…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:30 PM
2

Stop calling your friends hoes, and stop centering men. You just dangle the sex carrot longer, so they behave longer. Or they think they can use you for labor and/or money instead of just sex, while they can see they won’t get that out of your friends because they’re hot and won’t do it. Either way, your friends are the ones who will be there when things go sideways, treat them right.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:13 AM
–

Is it more moral for a man to want a woman who was born pretty, or one who worked hard to earn enough money to get surgery? Oddly enough, I feel like most people would say the first, while the second would be considered more vain. Not sure where I’m going with this, just food for thought. I don’t think attraction is moral or immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 12:08 AM
12

But but but… average men are LONELY. And totally willing to settle for plain ‘ol average women, as long as they will go 50/50 on finances, and cook and clean and birth and raise the babies. It’s a great deal, they won’t even hit us or cheat, just as long as we put out a few times a week and don’t gain any weight and we don’t say anything about the porn habit or nag about the dirty socks on the floor.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:34 PM
2

You say things like “is often framed,” and “can be upset,” but who is doing the framing and deciding who’s allowed to be upset about what? There is no absolute consensus on such matters, different people will say different things, and ultimately nobody can disallow anyone from however they feel. Generally speaking, women will be more sympathetic to women’s insecurities, while men will be more sympathetic to men’s. But in both cases, it also heavily depends on what the behavior in question is. Mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:14 PM
6

Yes I don’t think evolution “accounted for” the invention of birth control, so to speak (of course it doesn’t actually account for anything, but I mean from our perspective). I suppose if the desire to have children is genetic vs purely environmental, that would mean natural selection is now selecting for people who want kids, if the human race survives long enough that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:58 AM
1

Because they’re befriending women they’re attracted to, not necessarily women they have anything in common with, and trying to impress those women more so than they would their male friends. (Or at least they perceive it that way because wanting to impress their male friends seems to come more naturally.) Then conclude that women expect a lot of their male friends and don’t give back, even though they are the ones who have made it that way with which women they befriend and how they treat them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 04:30 AM
8

I do not think it’s nearly as socially acceptable for women to act irrationally jealous as you’re claiming. Women are generally supposed to be cool with their men looking at other women as long as there’s no touching or flirting involved and they’re not being total pigs about it. That being said, there’s also a clear difference in the behaviors you’re equating. The men are actively showing interest in women, while the women are passively receiving interest from men. Never is it indicated that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:39 AM
10

I’d say wanting a partner is quite natural across cultures. However, I used to think the desire to reproduce, especially for women, was a lot more innate than it seems to be in reality. I was told that when I hit my 30s I’d want to have a baby no matter what, but whenever I think about it, I’m just so glad I didn’t. It seems to be heavily based in cultural pressure, so perhaps wanting a relationship is too more than we realize. If nothing else, things like what age to “settle down” by, when or i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 02:43 AM
30

That was my very first thought 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:06 PM
5

It’s not a matter of what specific sort of standards you’re asking women to have, the problem is asking someone to change their standards in the first place and placing yourself as the judge and jury for “realistic.” How one finds out their standards aren’t realistic is when they don’t find someone. Not by some rando taking it upon themselves to appraise their value and comparing it to what they are looking for. There is also no requirement to have a partner if you’re not successful in finding s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:07 PM
8

The name “dating app” should tell you all you need to know here. Sugar dating apps clearly state what they are for.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:24 AM
–

>Women who are attracted to their partners would still want to have sex if he initiates and does not expect her to perform. Men almost always expect a performance, and if a woman passively accepts sex she does not want too many times, an aversion can develop. >Stress is a factor for men (mostly work). Agreed 100%, and also job loss is huge. >I would always advise everyone to never take medications of any kind that are known to influence libido or performance. This isn’t always possible. >Why did…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:12 AM
18

You were imagining the cashier giving you a “death stare” about the pretzels because you felt funny about it. Your ideas or the social norms regarding men providing are very outdated. Most people do not think this way anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:21 PM
1

People with basic social skills will always be able to get… something. Doesn’t matter how horrible, ugly, stupid, or anything else they are. Doesn’t mean what they get will be desirable, but someone somewhere will always be weird enough to be into it if you have enough of a social reach.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:14 PM
23

This doesn’t seem to be a matter of “handling rejection,” but rather a matter of men and women wanting such vastly different things that she understandably isn’t interested in dealing with men anymore. It’s fundamental incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:09 PM
–

This simply isn’t true. People (men included) can lose their sex drives for reasons that have nothing to do with their partner, like hormonal shifts, medications, depression. People (almost exclusively men but some abnormally high libido women) can also want sex without being attracted to someone. Most women lose desire for sex because their husbands have lost attraction to them tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 10:17 PM
–

I believe the vast majority of women were attracted to their husbands on their wedding day. Many still are, but that can change over time for a multitude of reasons. Many men aren’t attracted to their wives either (wanting sex isn’t the same as attraction).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:12 PM
3

It’s because of apps and loss of community. When people don’t have a connection with someone outside of meeting them on an app, it’s a lot easier to detach at the first doubt or bump in the road than it is when, say, you’re dating your best friend’s brother or your mom’s friend from church’s daughter. At the very least, you’d probably have mutual friends or know you’d run into them at the bar again. Communities hold people accountable for how they treat others, because you will know someone who …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 07:57 PM
5

You already moved the goalpost from “women invest nothing and have nothing to lose in the courting phase” to “the man invests more in the courting phase,” and didn’t address any of my points. We already cannot have a discussion in good faith because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:58 PM
–

I just don’t understand why you’re calling it a “Nice Girl” when it doesn’t have anything to do with pretending to be nice. It would be a type of “bait and switch,” which is equivalent to men’s bait and switches. (Usually this involves no longer making any effort to nurture the relationship after commitment.) Not being a “Nice Guy.” And for both men and women, sometimes it really is a bait and switch, other times it’s just getting comfortable/the natural evolution of the relationship. Most men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:52 PM
–

“Nice girl” isn’t the proper term for this since it doesn’t have anything to do with acting “nice.” “Nice girls” do exist, but this is a woman who hangs around as a friend and pretends to be nice for the sake of getting a man she wants who isn’t asking her out. The only difference is it’s usually not for just sex, but a sexual relationship. Taylor Swift in the video for “You Belong With Me” is a classic example. There’s often an element of “I’m so chill and real and adorkable, not slutty and fak…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:27 PM
6

How are women not also investing time in the courting phase? It takes her just as much time as him, if not more including the time spent getting ready. Very often nowadays her own money too, but for the sake of argument, we’ll assume he’s paying. She still is investing a great deal of time and energy, which is why the vast majority of women do not find “foodie calls” worth it. Dating only feels like wasted time if you don’t actually like the person, and this goes both ways. If a man doesn’t wish…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:07 PM
9

Women don’t really “gain” much from the courting phase. Very few are actually in it for a free meal or something. Rather, the willingness to court a woman suggests that he may be interested in more than sex, and generally speaking, women only want men who are interested in more than sex. Men complain about having to court when they’re only interested in sex. That’s why women dump men who don’t court. They want two different things. Neither is wrong, they’re simply not compatible and should not c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:00 PM
9

Generally speaking, men know they want sex with a woman they recently met before she has decided if she does or not, placing him in the “person who wants something” position when it comes to sex. I don’t fully disagree there. However, as with my coworker example, two people can presumably want the same thing, neither in any position of power over the other, but still not wish to be put on the spot about it. Is showing your coworker you’re interested in being friends without directly asking them …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:29 PM
17

I think men here often miss one thing: Dating is a social interaction, and social interaction is ALWAYS a grey area. This sort of approach will not fly for the same reason that if you go up to a new coworker and ask if they wanna be friends like a kindergartner, they’re going to think you’re odd even if they think they do want to be your friend. Or if you ask your boss on a random Tuesday morning “So can I expect to be making $X/hr by this time next year?” they aren’t going to like it even if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:08 PM
–

Well I can’t relate because the opposite happened to me. I always assumed I’d want to get married and have kids, was engaged, apparently on the track to do that. But then hit my late 20s and started having nightmares about getting married or being pregnant. Like full-on, wake up sweating nightmares that my mom was “helping” me get ready for my wedding, but I was chained up and crying and she didn’t care. Or that I was pregnant and would give birth to a dead baby or an animal. Pretty dark and dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 09:35 PM
2

I do think it’s obvious men find girls/women “18” (*cough* 12 *cough*) to 22 most physically attractive, but agree that women’s sex drive doesn’t really take a nose dive till menopause. So they whole “she’s less sexual now” thing is more of a way to blame women for the fact they’re mad they didn’t get to fuck her teenage version than anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:59 PM
1

I’m not saying that people have to be silent. I’m saying if people don’t want to invite controversy, they should be silent. 4B wanted to invite controversy because they were making a point. Passport bros want to invite controversy to make a point, but then turn around and claim to want social acceptance, especially from the same women they claim they don’t want in the first place. 4B is more consistent with disliking men and not asking men to please approve of their choices. And also with admitt…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:46 PM
0

I never saw 4B asking men to sign off on their choices. Seeking approval from other like-minded women sure, but never got the impression they give two shits what men think.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:24 PM
1

The pattern of passport bros/wannabe passport bros being loud and making asses of themselves then asking for acceptance/crying about how people respond to them is not limited to this sub. There are plenty of topics here that don’t amount to “agree with my life choices,” too.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:03 PM
4

Why do you so badly need other people to agree with your life choices though? Nobody is stopping you from being a passport bro. People are judged for literally everything they do. Passport bros would not be judged nearly as much if they would stop generating their own controversy and then crying about how persecuted they are. The fact most have never left their country doesn’t help. It’s like they need an excuse not to just do it other than “I don’t have the money and I’m kinda scared.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 06:38 PM
–

That’s how I see it typically used if we’re talking about women. But it’s mostly men I’ve seen use it, especially in the context of bodybuilding. So that part doesn’t make a lot of sense either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:03 AM
–

What you’re describing is true, but I don’t agree that the proper response to this phenomenon is to give men primary custody by default. Why? Because first of all, not all men have women around them ready to take on the primary parent role, rather, it’s the men who do who pursue custody. Chicken and egg fallacy. We see better outcomes for kids raised by single fathers because only the men who are uniquely in a good position to have the kids pursue custody. If it were given by default, this would…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:58 AM
–

I’m not saying height shaming is okay, but the term “manlet” typically refers to a man who takes his feelings about his height out on others. “Hiplet” doesn’t work because women generally don’t take our insecurities out on other people, and it’s such an obvious reach to try to draw a parallel for something for which no parallel exists. It comes off as, once again, men taking their insecurities out on women/other people, making the opposite of they point these guys seem to be trying to make. It d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:30 AM
6

I agree. Red pill men love to make vast, sweeping generalizations about women based on patterns they’ve recognized (no matter how much those rely on confirmation bias), but then don’t want people to notice patterns and make any sort of generalizations about them. One such pattern is that TRP goes hand in hand with the alt right “conservatism” of today. I have “conservatism” in quotes because they are not really conservative by my definition, but they run on the Republican ticket. Vast majority o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:29 PM
2

You are not entirely wrong, however, it’s also true that not all slave owners treated their slaves (what they considered at the time) poorly. This was a popular defense of slavery. “They are less intelligent and don’t know how to make it on their own, we feed and clothe them and are ‘good slave owners’, therefore it’s what’s best for them.” Plenty of men also beat and raped their wives, and this was often legal or turned a blind eye to. So while yes of course it was more common for women (partic…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:00 PM
21

I think you’re misinterpreting men wanting to preserve women as reproductive resources as “empathy.” This is why men seem to show so much “empathy” for women in some ways (those that preserve survival) and so little in others (those that allow autonomy). One does not have empathy for their car, but one wants to ensure the car stays safe because it provides a vital service. One also doesn’t want one’s car driving off on its own to go live its best car life. There is no actual empathy without resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 10:18 PM
–

This does happen in both directions. In some cases it’s because people aren’t fully aware of what they like (men often do not realize women are wearing makeup when it isn’t way overdone, women sometimes think the average height for men is taller than it is, for example). In those instances, it’s understandable to point out the blind spot. But in other cases, people are twisting words or assuming all men or all women have the same standards/preferences. A very common one is men claiming “it’s ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:21 PM
2

For the most part, women grow up being taught about what men like from childhood without even having to pursue said knowledge, it’s thrown in our faces. Like I knew by age 12 which features on my face “needed surgery” in order to be more attractive. I knew mom was happier when I was thinner, and the other girls would make fun of me if I didn’t shave my legs. Most of men’s preferences are so engrained in general social expectations that women/girls will self-police and police each other on them, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 10:51 AM
8

When we were first dating, his ex was “keeping him from his child.” (To any woman reading this, if a man ever says this, run.) Which yes, I witnessed with my own eyes that she was being difficult and making it challenging for him to get his parenting time. I do not particularly like this woman or find her faultless in the situation. HOWEVER, literally all it took was writing a letter to the judge providing some screenshots of text exchanges between them where she’s making lame excuses for why he…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:27 AM
14

Two things in your post are correlated. Men with new wives/live-in partners are more than happy to get custody of their kids because they will use her as a free nanny, and no longer have to pay child support/not have to pay as much. Those who don’t have new partners often use their mothers as nannies instead. - Sincerely, a woman who fell prey to the “I suddenly need to take my ex to court now that you’re around” free nanny recruitment scheme. An ex also had his mother move in with him after he …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:32 PM
22

I’d say there is a pretty big difference between living together before marriage and an “indefinite live-in arrangement.” This is one of those things where everyone’s desires and expectations are different. But generally speaking, I’d say living together before tying the knot is smart (people’s behavior often changes when you’re living together vs just spending a lot of time together), but a woman who wants marriage shouldn’t accept an indefinite live-in situation. Moving in together after getti…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:14 PM
3

Not always. Some things just aren’t as appealing in reality as they are as a fantasy, and sometimes one can recognize that fact without even trying it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:02 PM
2

Also have no way of knowing that. If they actually want to I’d say probably yes, but sometimes people have fantasies they don’t want to act out in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 04:30 PM
2

Some, I’m sure, but I have no idea if it’s common or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 04:26 PM
3

No. A) I never had a desire to sleep around a lot anyway, B) I never wanted a man who was going to have a problem with the fact I wasn’t a virgin, C) I never felt the need to relay a detailed history of every person I’d been with and every sexual act we did to a prospective partner and wouldn’t want a man who kept digging for this info. In fact, I often felt like I had to be more sexual than I really wanted to be in order to keep a man from losing interest. Basically, the only way a woman’s sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:47 PM
9

They don’t have to be. I don’t know any “hypermasculine providers,” and yet the vast majority of the men I know are married/in relationships. Women are not loved unconditionally by their spouses/partners. Women are discarded when they can no longer provide sex and service. The only unconditional love that exists is familial love, especially that of a mother for her child. All romantic love is conditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:40 AM
0

Well duh, because people who aren’t toxic aren’t going after people who are in a relationship in the first place. However, there are definitely toxic couples who cheat on each other like crazy, so toxic people definitely get cheated on too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 12:44 PM
2

Was your post removed? No? It doesn’t look like anyone disallowed you from doing anything. It looks like your post simply didn’t find the audience you wanted. That happens. Sometimes I will say a very similar thing in two different subs or on two different platforms and get very different reception. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to move to a state with a 50/50 custody policy if that’s something important to you. That’s the nice part of living in the US. Now, something I’d ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 12:08 PM
2

Difference is men slut shame all on their own, it’s not usually women baiting men to tell them they’re sluts and then acting offended when they do. But that does sometimes happen, and imho those women should knock it off too. Just do your thing, accept that some people will judge, and clap back at criticism as it comes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:18 AM
4

Yes, exactly this. Like no, I’m not going to put my stamp of approval on your creepy (usually imaginary) relationship. But WHY do you need it? I don’t think any relationships between consenting adults should be illegal, and I would not spend any time thinking about passport bros if they weren’t so dang vocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:15 AM
8

Passport broing wouldn’t be anything-ized, unfairly or otherwise, if the “bros” could simply shut the fuck up about it for 2.5 seconds and just use the passport already instead of constantly chasing public approval/disapproval. The only people I EVER see bringing it up are passport bros, more often wannabe passport bros who have never left the country and probably never will. The “persecution” is entirely self-inflicted, like “evangelical Christian in the US”-level self-inflicted. “Hey ladies, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:01 AM
2

Passport broing wouldn’t be anything-ized, unfairly or otherwise, if the “bros” could simply shut the fuck up about it for 2.5 seconds and just use the passport already instead of constantly chasing public approval/disapproval. The only people I EVER see bringing it up are passport bros, more often wannabe passport bros who have never left the country and probably never will. The “persecution” is entirely self-inflicted, like “evangelical Christian in the US”-level self-inflicted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 12:48 AM
1

For every guy who says this, three are saying that they refuse to wait more than 1-3 dates for sex. I do not think it actually matters in reality for a guy who is genuinely interested in having a relationship with a woman. He will be willing to wait, and he will also not lose interest if they have sex right away. Now personally, I recommend that women hold off on sex because it weeds out the guys who are just looking for a hookup. I don’t see guys who will dump you if you don’t want to have sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:56 PM
3

As someone who lived about the first 25 years of her life without a spine of any kind due to how I was raised — you need to have a backbone to even be “good.” I ghosted friends and dates, told white lies or omitted the truth when I really shouldn’t have, disrespected relationships by entertaining “nice guys” who “just wanted to be friends (until you finally break up with your boyfriend),” silently listened to gossip about friends because I didn’t know how to shut it down, all because I didn’t kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:44 PM
12

More men are lonely now because women have a legitimate choice on whether or not to marry a man. That’s it. It’s not that men are “more toxic” than they used to be, but that there is now no reason for women to put up with a man who is toxic at all if they don’t wish to. “Unattractive, broke, and awkward” and “toxic and misogynist” are not mutually exclusive, and things like looks, money, and status provide incentives to put up with someone’s toxicity. They’re not enough for all women by any mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:37 PM
1

It very much depends on the man in question. I do not believe that powerful career women by definition cannot find compatible male partners who love and support them. Plenty do. However, there are also a lot of men who cannot handle this dynamic and will become jealous and resentful and try to sabotage their wives’ careers or blow up the relationship if their wives become more successful than they are. From what I can see, there seems to be two types of relationship dynamics that work for succes…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:33 AM
–

Casey Anthony had multiple boyfriends when she murdered her daughter. Aileen Wuornos didn’t have any trouble picking up johns who she would later dispatch. Gypsy Rose Blanchard talked her boyfriend into killing her mother for her, then later got married in prison, divorced him, and married someone else. Jodi Arias had an ex boyfriend who she murdered. (Oh and “Jodi Arias bikini” is the first suggestion that comes up when I type her name into Google, interesting.) When I was super shy, I couldn’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:00 AM
22

I don’t think men “pair bond” either, just wish that women did. Mainly because it is a way to justify having double standards for sexual behavior. But otherwise I think you’re correct. And while I don’t think men’s hangups about their HS ex has anything to do with “pair bonding,” they definitely seem to be more prone to being nostalgic about long-past girlfriends. I suspect this is because a) she is a teen/very young woman who never gets older in their head, b) she isn’t around anymore, so they …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:14 AM
3

Questions like this one are always basically unanswerable because there are way too many variables and ways to interpret what your “opposite gender self” would be like. I would’ve been raised male, so I doubt I’d be much different from the majority of men in my age bracket and socioeconomic background. Which means no, I would not be particularly successful. I’m not successful as a woman either. I think it would be quite a bit easier for me to work more hours since I wouldn’t have the same expect…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:16 PM
3

I am autistic, that’s why I’m saying a lot of this. High functioning/masking end of the spectrum. The two types of people I always attracted were A) leeches and narcissists looking for someone with poor boundaries, B) people who were similar and just as on the struggle bus as me, not malicious but definitely in no position to support another person. I never minded B, but that doesn’t sound like what these women are looking for. A is not always obvious — they’re convincing enough to fool even neu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:56 PM
3

Sure those men exist, but they can afford to be selective. They’re going to want an attractive, bubbly woman who is a great cook and keeps a clean home, isn’t career-focused but likely has some ambition in life due to being non-depressed, hobbies besides video games, etc., not the female neckbeards OP is describing. A 6/10 autistic woman who wants to “sit around the house and fuck” and is looking for someone to live with on Discord ends up chained up in somebody’s basement at worst, living in so…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:43 AM
3

All I’m saying is that there are not all of these men just waiting to fully financially support the average woman like OP seems to think. This doesn’t mean average and unattractive people cannot find love, only that normal men don’t want to pay the average woman’s bills, because why would they? If a man is willing to do that, something is probably off, because people have natural self-interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:08 AM
4

Most men do not see fucking the same average woman indefinitely as a “sweet deal” if they have to pay for her existence. Most men can barely support themselves these days. Men who can afford a housewife are in high demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:39 AM
2

I don’t disagree with any of the safety measures you’re suggesting. However, I completely disagree that women have any worse “survival instincts” than men, on average. Men here will often point out that men are more frequently the victims of violent crime — and this is statistically true. But men are physically bigger and stronger than women, so why would this be? Well, because they are more likely to overestimate their safety by virtue of being male, and to willingly put themselves in dangerous…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 09:05 PM
9

A) This only works if the woman in question is of a certain level of attractiveness. You can be an average 20 yr old woman or an attractive 30+ woman, but you cannot be an unattractive 20 yr old woman or an average 30+ woman and have men want to do anything for you whatsoever. Those women can get a man still, yes, but pretty much only men who want to take advantage of THEM financially or otherwise. The number of male hobosexuals and guys looking for a submissive provider mommy is often way under…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:50 PM
–

I think different women experience sex differently, both physically and mentally. Even in my own adult life, there have been times when being penetrated while not sufficiently aroused was painful, and times when it was only slightly uncomfortable. But never has it “felt nice” unless brain and body were in sync. Mentally/emotionally, things can change too. Sexual aversions can and do develop when you have sex you don’t want to have too many times. You might be able to do it for years, but eventua…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:38 PM
11

I haven’t seen the movie so can’t comment on what it is or isn’t about. But your assertion that the rapist can never be the shy, nerdy friendzoned guy is simply inaccurate, and any arguments after that fall apart immediately. Plenty of guys are “too pussy” to ask her out directly but will happily get handsy if they’ve both been drinking and she’s blacked out. Plenty of guys convince themselves they’re justified in 🍇ing their friend because she’s been “leading him on” and they’re furious with her…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:32 AM
3

Notice I am referring to two different sets of men: unselected men, and unselected men who are openly and loudly misogynistic. Women do not think about unselected men or wish them ill until they start attacking women for simply existing and not fucking them. Nobody wishes well on someone who expresses hatred and ill-will on them for failing to bow to their demands. This is very clearly different from seeking power over or wishing ill on someone simply for being unsuccessful in some aspect of lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:16 AM
5

You are applying male-typical thought patterns to women. Men have historically always wanted to dominate and control other men, but will settle for doing so to women if that isn’t possible. Women don’t think nearly as much in terms of hierarchy and power in general. Women do not spend any time thinking about “unselected men” until these men start complaining and making themselves a nuisance. Women do not have sympathy for misogynistic men, but our schadenfreude at the plight of these men is reta…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:05 AM
–

I see where you’re coming from, but at the same time I do not think men really desire sex with their long-term partners nearly as much as they demand to have. Most single men do not get laid nearly as often as their married/partnered counterparts, partnered men still watch porn and have hands, and men do not have nearly the same level of desire for sex with long-term partners as new women. Imo the constant hounding for sex and claims of it being a “need” are really a desire for ego validation, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 12:54 AM
–

Yes, exactly this. Men like to act as if they NEED sex a few times a week in a relationship or they’ll just have to cheat, but the fact of the matter is exceedingly few single men have sex anywhere near this often. And men’s sex drives tend to drop when they’re with the same partner anyway. It’s a coercive control tactic to basically say “If you don’t validate my ego by having sex with me this often, I’m justified in cheating on you (like I want to do no matter how much sex we have).”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 12:45 AM
–

Penetration creates microtears, making it pretty uncomfortable if you don’t have at least a few days in between to recover.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 12:41 AM
–

Except having a functional social safety net is not “putting equality before freedom.” There is no “freedom” for the average citizen under unchecked late stage capitalism. Citizens become the slaves of mega corporations. This is the elephant in the room conservatives cannot address in any meaningful manner.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:16 PM
–

Welfare system in the US sucks big time, but the problem is conservatives will point this out BUT offer zero solutions that don’t just result in the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 08:54 PM
–

While all posts like this are quite… hypothetical to say the least, I do think you’re on more of the right track with what happens when “unselected men” become a threat than any other post I usually see here. Men are always eager to tell feminists that “poor men were oppressed too,” and “young men are treated as disposable in society,” but seem to forget these factors when discussing “we have to limit women’s rights if they don’t want to fuck us.”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:39 PM
5

Being more blunt/direct does not always translate to being good at communicating, at all. I’m neurodivergent, so I’m including myself in this one. Communication is a two-way street that includes listening to the other person and understanding what they mean. There are also many times when men are actually not so blunt/direct, or simply do not attempt to communicate or listen. Compatibility of communication style and a genuine desire to communicate are far more important than what the communicati…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:26 PM
1

Men approaching is still more common of course, but women do approach nowadays. Usually it’s a “warm approach” instead of just cold approaching strangers, which is generally a much better strategy for men, but women tend to get rejected in these instances because the guy would’ve already made a move if interested. Or they might string her along for a while until they meet a woman they actually are interested in and will approach first, like OP was saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:42 PM
1

I’m not referring to “vague social cues.” Sure, it’s more common for men to approach, but it’s not 1950, many women do directly approach these days. Usually it’s a “warm approach” (someone you already know a bit at least), but that’s still a direct approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:52 PM
2

You’re right, but men also reject women upfront when the woman is unattractive enough to them, and often a lot more brutally than women generally reject men. I think because they are offended she thought they might be interested. Which is something that women do too, but women are so used to less attractive men shooting their shot that they don’t necessarily take it so personally. Also because women have some level of fear that the men they reject will react violently, which isn’t something most…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:40 PM
2

Kids cost money, as do fancy weddings and homes. Commitment does not. Commitment often actually saves money because you get a permanent roommate to split the bills with. Courthouse wedding costs a couple hundred bucks max that you’ll get back on your tax return. The only time you’ll actually save money by being single is if you live with your parents and want to continue doing so indefinitely. Which… is fine as a temporary measure, but I do not think is particularly healthy long-term. I really j…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:34 PM
5

They are most attracted to 20 yr olds when that’s the youngest age shown (which of course is understandable for ethical reasons). But when men say things like “women expire at 22-25” one must wonder how it is that they’re only attracted to such a narrow age range… but that’s because the range starts much younger than is legal or that we would even want to think about. (But we’ve all experienced it with wondering why adult men were so gross to us at 9-14.)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 07:20 PM
5

The very worst type of man acts out these feelings by preying on children, the mid worst acts them out by physically cheating, and the average man by watching porn (and maybe hitting on women/bots on social media). That’s the only difference. They have been telling us exactly how it is for years, and only change their tune and do some mental gymnastics when a woman calls into question why women should marry and build lives with men if they’re like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:47 PM
4

Simple — they are not. Most are really not attracted to their wives while “in their prime” either. They want sex and she is what’s available, which they will equate with sexual attraction, but isn’t actually the same “genuine desire” they want from women. Genuine desire is for porn, bikini models, and women/girls who are out of their league or not legal to date. “Wife goggles” are total BS. They’re more attracted to the 40yr old neighbor than their 30yr old wife just because they haven’t fucked …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:42 PM
19

“…rather than on who he truly is.” Unless this is a situation where these people have been platonic friends for a while first, how would she even know “who he truly is” before he gives her attention? All you know of someone you recently met is who they “manage to present themselves as being.” You don’t know “who she truly is” yet either. Dating is the process of (hopefully) finding that out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:38 AM
21

This sounds like the exact emotional hamster wheel thinking men accuse women of all the time right here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:10 AM
1

You’re basing this on like 1% of the population who happens to be a) in the top 10% or less of looks, b) has enough money and social capital to curate a fashionable and/or interesting image that makes people want to follow them, c) has the time and desire to maintain an active social media presence. Most people do not meet these criteria, and primarily use social media to keep in touch with family and friends. I’m not saying that getting likes and comments from one’s social bubble can’t still be…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:42 PM
16

Some of the wording here is a bit pseudoscientific and goofy (like the “dopamine loops” thing), but in a very general sense, I think you’re on the right track. Quite refreshing to see a man acknowledging that men have agency and suggesting that perhaps they should take some accountability to avoid terrible women, or even just women they are not compatible with. And that also not falling into the “I don’t want to be used for money, but independent women bad” cognitive dissonance that seems to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:23 AM
6

The irony is that what you’re describing is literally an attempt to control women with a… government-sponsored wife import program? There is no ethical way to enforce that these women date once they get into the US. And if they are free to dump whoever they’re dating, then men would be crying about how these women are gold diggers only using them for citizenship. Not wanting to be treated as goods and chattel to import/export is not “controlling.” Not getting laid is not a human rights violation…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:58 AM
14

You’re not entirely wrong, but if you read this back with the genders reversed, this is why telling women to “choose better” is often very hypocritical. Even if women have more abundant choices on the surface, most men with desirable traits are taken, and it is usually not immediately apparent which men actually possess the traits one is looking for since they all put on a mask and turn into someone else after you’re locked down. Some men are sweet to you and a demon to everyone else, some men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 11:48 PM
6

What does empathy look like to you? In what ways do men empathize with women that you don’t think women empathize with men? Because it sounds to me like your sister wants you to get the help you need. That is empathy. You get medication by seeing a mental health professional who can prescribe it. I doubt as a psych doc she’s actually saying “you need to push through it,” if so, then she shouldn’t be saying that part. But “go to therapy” is literally what you need to do to as the first step to ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:15 PM
3

As others have stated, I think it’s a pretty big leap from men not being absolutely necessary (aside from reproduction) to society, vs society being better off without them. Men are 50% of society, just like women are 50% of society. So the “society would be better off without men” argument doesn’t land for me for the same reason the “women’s rights need to be limited for the good of society” arguments don’t land. Because men and women ARE society.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:18 PM
2

Yeah I’m just not comfortable with shaming/disincentivizing the common folk from having kids for the environment, while rich folks are killing the planet with their private jets and mega corporations. It’s dystopian. But people also deserve to be aware that we are not anywhere near going extinct, not having bio kids is one of the best things you can do for the planet, pregnancy and childbirth is risky, and parenting is a total nightmare if you’re not cut out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:37 PM
6

I don’t think we need to be encouraging or discouraging anyone from having relationships, period. Stop shaming and pressuring single people to find someone, yes, but not actively discouraging either. We were pretty much already there before Elon started his “every(white)body needs to participate in my breeding kink or humani(white)ty will die out” propaganda campaign. So… yeah maybe just quit with the fearmongering there and we’ll be good. For the environment, all we really need is free and acce…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:03 PM
1

The term “gold digger” has been in the public vocabulary for far longer than “bangmaid.” I don’t see any widely circulated newspapers, talk shows, or news programs talking about “bangmaids.” Discussion of the pros and cons of being a SAHM, sure, but “bangmaid” is definitely more of a niche online term than “gold digger.” Like if I asked my parents, they would definitely know what a gold digger was, but not a bangmaid. (However, after explaining it, my mom could probably relate to the term “bangm…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:07 PM
1

What is the standard of “mainstream” to you? Clearly mainstream enough to see/hear it regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:31 PM
6

The type of women you’re talking about do exist, but pretty sure they make up a far smaller portion of the population than their online presence would have you believe. I don’t know any irl who are that way with politics. When it comes to politics, most women really just want a man who believes in human rights for everyone and isn’t racist, sexist, or homophobic. Then we have the issue of women constantly being told to “choose better” and expected to see every red flag miles away. Both men and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 03:34 PM
4

“Is she told (or should she be told) that she’s a cold-hearted gold-digging whore who’s just looking for a sugar daddy?” Yes, that’s what many men do call her. People also respond differently depending on what the person making demands brings to the table. Men who want a more traditional wife who can actually afford to offer a comfortable lifestyle and be a traditional husband are in high demand from women who want that. Likewise, these women who actually want to be trad wives are in high demand…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:55 PM
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“It feels like we’re supposed to show emotional investment without ever making the other person feel restricted.” Yes, sounds about right. Isn’t that what you’d want from a partner? As with most things in relationships, balance is necessary and not asking for too much. And there is variation in exactly what each individual wants from a partner because people are all different with their own complex personalities and experiences. Your examples lack context. Do you know this male friend? What’s th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:18 PM
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Because penetration is an uncomfortable or neutral sensation for many women, for one thing. It’s like saying “why would a man hook up with a woman who won’t play with his balls exactly the right way?” Some men are really into that, many either don’t like it or don’t care much either way. Depends on the individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:38 AM
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Penis size does matter if we’re talking about significant deviations from the norm. I genuinely feel bad for guys with micropenises. Even though most women don’t orgasm from penetration, the look of a micropenis is going to put off most women. Same way a completely flat chest, very oddly shaped breasts, or very long or dark (relative to the complexion) labia, will put off most men. But 4.5 inches? Not actually abnormal, only slightly below average. This is like a woman refusing to take her shirt…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:04 AM
1

Okay, fine, willing to drop that part if you will provide some scientific evidence for the main point you were making. Which is that women forget they had sex at certain times of the month. Still waiting to hear about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:39 PM
3

Men who are seen as average by a majority of other people but happen to appeal to me and I’ve built some sort of connection with? Absolutely. Just any random average man? Absolutely not. Men do not lust after average women unless she happens to be their type either. Many are willing to use average women as a warm hole/ego boost, but they do not genuinely desire the average woman in the way you’re looking for from women. Men also often forget what the average woman really is, since their idea of …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:32 PM
0

I never said women on hormonal contraceptives don’t have any hormonal fluctuations. I said they don’t ovulate. I am on the pill and get a headache and am more tired during the placebo week, obviously know there’s a shift going on. Now please show me the scientific evidence for women regularly forgetting that they had sex any time of the month.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:47 PM
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Most women do choose a fairly “average” man. If they didn’t, most women would be single. Going by crime stats is a really strange way to determine who most women choose, since most men don’t commit violent crimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:15 PM
2

There are coming of age celebrations for boys in most cultures that have them for girls. It’s my understanding that bar mitzvahs are generally a bigger deal than bat mitzvahs, for example, or used to be at least. The reason why male puberty itself isn’t recognized in the same way as female puberty is because boys don’t have a first period, which is one particular stand-out event that has traditionally marked the beginning of “womanhood.” Which is actually pretty creepy considering that most girl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:00 PM
1

So I’m assuming you’re talking about the ovulation cycle? Yes, women tend to have higher sex drives during this time (if they are not on hormonal birth control). But no, women do not forget about having sex any time of the month. Nor do most women go out and hunt for strangers to have sex with during this time. We are not werewolves. Hope this helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:27 PM
1

Maybe he’d prefer if she’s not, but most guys are not going to stop seeing a FWB who is sleeping around, but they will divorce a wife who is. One is not an exclusive relationship, the other is. This is so simple and obvious I am having a hard time believing you’re making this argument in good faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:21 PM
10

I don’t fully disagree with you by any means. However, I seriously doubt that you and these male friends are on the same level of attractiveness and social competence. Why do I say this? Because I know women who have been single a long time and do not have five men hitting on them, and normal men who do not have long dry spells between relationships. It sounds to me like you’re comparing the experience of a 6/10 fairly social woman to that of a 4/10 more homebody type man. Both of these people a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 07:02 PM
7

Just think for a second — how many men would be okay with their wives not being exclusive either? Sleeping with other men? They may be fine with that with a FWB, it’s their wife. Of course most people in a monogamous relationship wouldn’t want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 08:13 PM
4

Yep, and even the ones who didn’t, usually the honeymoon period of a relationship is very passionate, lots of sex. Almost seems like they are looking at 40 yr old couples who’ve been married 10+ years with multiple kids and concluding that what their relationship looks like now is how it’s always been. No, he probably doesn’t feel like fucking her every night anymore either. Doesn’t mean she never “genuinely desired” him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:30 PM
5

Source? I would guess the numbers are closer to 50/50 than you might think, given that studies tend to show 4-7 lifetime partners as a median for both men and women. I’ve mentioned a grand total of two factors that matter for being in the right place at the right time — have a social life, don’t be uptight. I believe that any man who is attractive enough to have a relationship is attractive enough to get casual sex as long as these two conditions are met. The problem is that you seem to be using…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:23 AM
7

First off, most women are not having a lot of casual sex either, it’s a fairly small percentage for *both* who are having the most. Second, some guys are simply not going to be in the right place at the right time because they don’t have much in the way of a social circle, don’t drink, or aren’t comfortable with women or someone women feel comfortable around. The men women choose to hook up with can be average looking, but they can’t be uptight. Lot of guys here sound quite uptight.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:58 PM
54

Do “most women” really say their husbands/boyfriends aren’t as attractive as their hookups? Because I’ve only ever seen men say that, and women saying it isn’t true. For women who do frequent hookups, most of the time it seems their husbands and boyfriends started out as hookups. And for women who don’t, any past hookups were usually friends they were attracted to, but not any more so than the men they dated, who happened to be in the right place at the right time. At least the latter was the ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:17 PM
3

Depends on if he has a reason to be around me (work or mutual friends, for example) or keeps making a choice to be around me. Also depends on what he looks like and his baseline personality. Basically, if a less attractive and/or shy guy keeps hanging around me, I’m going to assume there’s a good chance he’s interested and sacred to make a move. If he’s attractive I’m going to assume he’s not, and if he has some reason to be around me but isn’t showing any interest I’m going to assume he’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:24 PM
4

I see it claimed often here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:12 PM
77

You’re right to some extent, but I don’t really see women claiming this. I see far more men claiming the ugly guy will treat women better and all of women’s dating problems are from chasing Chad, which is untrue for all the same reasons. I also do not believe that all/most ugly women “want to be useful to more men sexually” by any means. Ugly women get used for sex, but that doesn’t mean they want that… it can be very painful for that to keep happening every time she thinks she’s found a guy who…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:42 PM
1

This is operating under the assumption that young women must (or want to) choose between unmasculine young men waiting for them to court and older men… and I think vastly underestimating younger women’s willingness to simply remain single if they don’t meet a suitable man in their age group. Are there some older men who younger women are interested in? Sure, but they are the exceptions rather than the rule. Men really do age like wine — the majority of wine turns sour with age, only certain high…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:27 PM
58

Sure some women are like this, so are some men. That’s why it’s important to get an idea of what someone’s lifestyle preferences are like before getting married. But a lot the time the issue is that men want to “relax after work” when there are things that *have to* be done, and their wife worked a full day too. So she never gets to relax after work because, well, they have to eat, and takeout and paper plates every day gets expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:20 PM
2

Fidelity is mandatory in a marriage unless you decide together to have an open marriage. Marriage itself, however, is not mandatory. You don’t have to get married and you don’t have to stay in a marriage you’re not happy with. An open marriage can be a solution if both partners want to stay together but have mismatched libidos, but there’s no excuse to lie and go behind your spouse’s back.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:04 PM
2

This guy just wants to blame anyone but himself for the fact he can’t get laid. (If this is even true… usually inc*ls keep their angry rants on the internet and don’t have the guts to say it in person, but who knows, it’s possible since nobody else was around.) Sex is a “need” (for most men and many women, not all) in the same way social belonging is a “need” for most people. And yet when I had no friends I didn’t claim people were “torturing” me by being out and about having a good time with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:26 PM
2

No. Even from the very limited artists you’ve left us to choose from, they have plenty of sexual lyrics on par with many female pop artists. Just not Sabrina Carpenter, specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 12:56 AM
4

Well men here call it “settling” when women do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:16 AM
10

Generally speaking, men select first, then women select from the men who already selected them. It’s like when you tell your friend “I’ll pick five movies/restaurants, then you pick which one.” In a society without arranged marriages, there is no such thing as a relationship where both people didn’t choose each other. One or both may have settled, but a choice was still made on both sides. Do I believe most men settle for women they aren’t really attracted to and don’t really like just because t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 12:34 AM
5

(Disclaimer: Not a man, so I’m replying to the auto mod.) Sure it’s possible this guy found you attractive, but you’re correct that you cannot know or worry about every stranger’s internal motives, and it doesn’t really matter so long as they are being respectful and you’re not entertaining any advances. Women also will sometimes be extra helpful to men they find attractive, and likewise, as long as a married man isn’t entertaining advances, it’s not a problem. My husband and I are both flattere…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:40 PM
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Idk why don’t you ask all the gay men with tons of female friends they have zero desire to fuck? Or do you just not want us, and are trying to keep us away? In your case, specifically, that’s probably true.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:11 AM
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This should be in textbooks for an example of “post hoc rationalization.” You want to fight against women’s rights because then once again all men with jobs would be guaranteed a subservient wife who can’t leave. Women being able to say “no” to you angers you. Not because “feminists didn’t criticize this shitty woman enough therefore all women need to be punished.” That is completely nonsensical. By this logic, men should not have any rights at all by this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 08:38 PM
11

You’re describing an at least somewhat attractive neurotypical woman and an unattractive neurodivergent man. The average man engages in somewhat less pro-social activities than the average woman, so men can be a bit lonelier especially in their later years. But a life of loneliness is not normal for either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:48 PM
7

So there are apparently no male artists with sexual lyrics if you just exclude checks notes… Any genre that isn’t 100% pop, including very mainstream hip hop artists, or any pop artist who isn’t super mainstream Black men Any metaphor/anything that doesn’t explicitly mention sexual body parts Anything written more than a few years ago Mkay. This leaves like two artists to even choose from, Harry Styles and Justin Bieber. And they both do have plenty of sexual songs, but I guess not explicit enou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:17 PM
3

Where are you getting “less than 1%”? Is that the number who have been convicted of a violent crime against a woman? Because most rapists are never convicted, many go unreported. Even self-reported numbers are higher than that, around 10%. And that’s those who admit to it. So no, it’s not most men, but when you think about how many men you know and consider that it’s at least 1 in 10, that’s not a small number at all. For a comparison, about 10% of people have IBS, and 10% are left-handed. Both …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 02:50 PM
1

Whether you want to use the term “violence” or not, what I’m trying to do is show the distinction between “inflicting harm (physical or otherwise)” and “saying something mean.”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:38 PM
3

Where are you getting that “most women support misandrist DV policies”? Which DV policies are you referring to? Which “misandrist rape studies” are you referring to? Why are they misandrist and what data suggests that most women support them?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:30 PM
3

Well, I agree that marriage isn’t a nonstop fuck fest and shouldn’t be portrayed as one. I’m not talking about truly sexless marriages, it’s definitely valid to not want to stay in one of those whether you’re a man or a woman. Sex is an expected part of marriage. But that’s the key — one part. To expand on the bathroom analogy, you wouldn’t buy a house without a bathroom, but yeah you definitely don’t buy the house just because you like the bathroom. You also can’t just let the house fall apart,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:21 PM
12

I was not actually referring to words or silence, although in some cases, words can be part of violence. I was referring to coercive control, which can include things like financial abuse, isolation, gaslighting, staking and harassment, threats and intimidation, even intentionally preventing someone from sleeping… these are all techniques abusers use that are not physical violence but are not “just words” either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:51 PM
47

Watch what they do. You may not think as many men genuinely hate women as women hate men, but actions tell an entirely different story. It’s much more common for men to commit acts of completely senseless and sadistic violence against women than the other way around. And before you say “that’s just because men are bigger and stronger,” for one thing, weapons exist. It takes no physical strength to pull a trigger, or to throw acid in someone’s face. Not all violence is even physical. And while ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:41 PM
37

“Because great grandma couldn’t support herself in a society where women didn’t have equal rights and had to tolerate an abusive marriage, women cannot be trusted,” is certainly an interesting way to spin the narrative. I also do not understand how you’re claiming in one paragraph that women paint marriages in the past as negative for women, then in the next that women want men to go back to “what they used to be.” Women, except for those who are delusional about the past, definitely do not want…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:27 PM
1

I was not specifically referring to you, but to men in general who are trying to date younger and are dissatisfied with the results (whether that means being unsuccessful or being used for their wallets). You criticize women for making assumptions about age gap relationships, then… make a whole lot of assumptions about age gaps and what women want. I don’t believe in “shaming” (unless it’s shaming an obvious predator), but many women are simply speaking from experience from when they thought the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:10 PM
1

Right, because all those 14 year old girls who got married to 30 year old men 100 years ago just had so much liberty and personal agency. Yeah, don’t think so. Nobody wants to outlaw a 23 year old woman being able to date and marry whoever she wishes. Women have just caught on to the trap that significant age gaps often present, at least when the younger person is still in “emerging adulthood” (which varies from person to person but generally encompasses late teens and early 20s). The more right…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:27 PM
2

They’re both pretty cringe when applied to oneself, but still find “alpha” a lot more so because “baddie” doesn’t carry the same pseudoscientific connotations. (The wolf study was debunked and publicly retracted.) Guys who unironically call themselves “alpha” are always just so painfully serious, which makes anything like that so much worse. I also think you are seriously underestimating how many men are into the “baddie” aesthetic. These are the women men throw their money at while claiming to …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:13 AM
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I mean sure, you could interpret it that way, but I think the researcher’s intent behind the statement is pretty clear in this context. Because what would the point of saying it even be if they intended your meaning? They’re obviously trying to differentiate between a woman who seems interested in/open to sleeping with you and a woman who doesn’t. Usually with the guys I dated, I would not say they “seduced” me unless just trying to be attractive and likable on a date constitutes “seduction.” It…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:24 PM
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I definitely agree on some of the wording of the study being bad. However, they did clearly stipulate that these are only situations where you knew the woman did not want to have sex or was acting like she didn’t want to have sex. That is KEY. Now, as someone who takes these types of studies as an ongoing side hustle, I can tell you that probably not all participants pay close attention to the verbiage of the study. Some just want the $10 and rush through. All that being said, wow, if only men h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:23 PM
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My claim? No, that is the researcher’s claim which OP is agreeing with. I do not entirely agree with their conclusion, although it’s true that not all coercion is physical. Imo a few of these such as “focused on a stranger to have sex with” don’t belong at all, while many constitute a grey area like “told her whatever she wanted to hear.” Just because you are conflating multiple people’s claims and not perceiving nuance does not make this a “Motte and Bailey.”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:17 PM
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Yes, but… ~10% assumes that the men who answered “yes” to using roofies were the same ones answering “yes” to using physical restraint, for example. It’s very likely there is some overlap here, of course, but doubtful that it’s perfect overlap. Just like while I believe the guys in your hobby groups probably haven’t been to prison at the national 10% rate, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if one or two have and just aren’t sharing with the group. In other words, while yes, certain negative behavio…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:30 PM
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I agree that one does not belong, and several others are iffy. However… Less common, but not uncommon, were the more overt forms of physical force: just overpowering her physically from the start (10.0%), using some form of physical restraint (9.4%), using some physical force to create some pain (9.3%), forcing her to enjoy it (9.2%), and using drugs, such as roofies (8.6%). And 22% say they “Gradually pushed verbally or physically until you got what you wanted,” on multiple occasions. So yeah, …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:05 AM
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No. This study was only about hookups/new partners, and you can read each technique that was asked about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:27 AM
1

If you think men like Andrew Tate see struggling young men as anything but a pathetic cash cow to pay for their next yacht and hookers, you’ve been taken for a ride. Men’s movements haven’t been successful for two reasons. One is that men have never not had rights on the basis of gender. This doesn’t mean men don’t have problems that need to be addressed, but when you frame men’s personal problems as human rights issues when they aren’t, that isn’t taken kindly to. The second reason is that not …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:54 PM
2

I feel like it’s more normal for women than you might think. Of course it’s kinda impossible to gather data on a highly subjective topic like this, so I don’t know. But otherwise, I do agree if you’re getting the impression someone views you as a backup option, move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 06:52 PM
6

While I agree with the general spirit of what you’re saying (don’t date someone you don’t think is good enough for you just to “give them a chance” to change your mind), there are more complexities to it for some people that might cause some confusion on this topic. Like I can say there has never been a time when I didn’t have some reservations and think “well let’s just give it a chance” on a first date. Because temperament wise, I am an introverted, reserved over-thinker who does not feel inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:21 PM
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Yes, men’s attitude toward women’s ages and propensity to date and marry women they don’t actually like are the main reasons why I would not choose to date men again. Because at least with women, even though they can be picky, you pretty much know they like you if they’re with you and will not start treating you poorly just because you aged out of their preference. I know the divorce rate for w/w marriages is high, but that’s just more evidence for the first point being true. I’d rather have a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:53 PM
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Yes and no. First, I think the idea of “romance in the past” is WAY overrated to begin with. We tend to view the past as more “romantic” because we are looking at it through the lens of art and literature that survived because it was romantic and beautiful to us, not through the lens of the experience of everyday life. This is true even though the mid 1900s, the “trad wife” lifestyle has become popular in large part because of 1950s television and movies showcasing idealized family units that we…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 11:25 AM
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The rules of “the wall” constantly change depending on if they want to scare women into settling for them young, or make up reasons why women should still bother with men at all if they’re just going to lose interest once she turns 25-35. Truth seems to be that certain men prefer “18” (12-16) yr olds, but most women really do not struggle to find a man at any age. “Wife goggles” are just BS to rationalize two conflicting ideas. If anything, men are more sexually interested in any woman who is NO…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:07 AM
1

What I normally see is screenshots of cranky guys offering zero-effort dates and getting rejected. Of course just because someone is pleasant enough on the first date doesn’t mean they’re going to be a good communicator or not ghost you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:13 PM
1

Yes and no. Certainly, I don’t think anyone should chase and buy the affection of someone who is only reluctantly “giving them a chance.” However, it’s also true that you have to give someone the chance to like you in the first place. This goes for men and women alike. You cannot expect anyone to be interested if you’re not showing them anything to be interested in. This is especially true if we’re talking about OLD… nobody even knows if they like you yet based on a few photos and sentences. Thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:26 PM
2

I am not actually fine with either one. I’m not very hung up on “body counts,” for instance, I really don’t care if a person in my age group has been with 20, 30 people. But once we’re talking hundreds, it’s clear they view sex as more of a hobby in itself than something remotely connected to affection or even attraction, and this is a fundamental incompatibility for me. No matter what I’m going to feel like having sex is just like… going to the toilet for that person. As far as paying for sex g…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:51 PM
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The trouble with this argument is that it could be directed at literally every movement, religion, political ideology, etc. in existence. There is no reason to jump straight to “Nazis” for a comparison here when you can find extremists among liberals, conservatives, Christians, Muslims, lgbtq activists, civil rights activists… you get the idea. Yet we do not write off every one of these as “subsidizing extremism,” even though sometimes they do. I also think you may be misinterpreting the M&Ms ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:14 AM
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“Be aggressive, loud, obnoxious, and just plain unpleasant to feminists.” So… keep doing exactly what most men who say they’re “going their own way” are already doing? This approach has been very effective — at making MGTOW a joke and “proving” the more negative feminists correct about men. Most feminists are not “abusive,” but when men consistently choose to be abusive toward them regardless, it does increase misandrist sentiment. Which is not fair to the millions of men who are not behaving th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:14 PM
4

The whole “honesty” thing is just something red pillers use to justify feelings of moral indignation about what they consider “female nature” while preserving the “dating is amoral” shtick to justify their own behaviors, even though dishonesty is often encouraged as a male dating strategy. The vast majority of women are nobody’s first choice either, and men are not honest with their partners about that, because they know nobody wants to hear it. Neither do men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:54 AM
3

Absolutely, marital rape was legal until the 90s. And even though that’s thankfully no longer the case, there is still massive pressure on women to consent to sex whenever their male partner wants, because it’s been turned into an emotional blackmail issue. We are to believe that sex on demand is a need not a want for men and their feelings will be irreparably damaged if their partner turns them down. But instead of exploring if this is really a healthy way to view sex in a relationship (spoiler…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:27 PM
9

Correct, but also, not all psychologically healthy people want or need to have kids either. Imo a lot of the problems of modern society are in fact caused by overpopulation, even if it’s not the dramatic overpopulation crisis people in the 70s envisioned, and that humans instinctively know there are too damn many of us. Individuals stop being special, it’s too hard to stand out from the crowd in any way, and people lose hope when you have to bend over backwards just to get a basic job that doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:10 PM
2

To me, whether or not ghosting is okay/whether it’s even ghosting, entirely depends on how significant the connection was. For example, if I have a conversation with a stranger at a bar but don’t get their number and never speak to them again, this is obviously not “ghosting.” And to me, brief conversations with people on social media or dating apps that don’t go anywhere are the same way — I am not sure why anyone gets so bent out of shape about a stranger matching with them or sending a couple…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:44 AM
4

Women are generally considered to be more harmless than men, which creates some double standards, but not every double standard is in women’s favor, as you note with promiscuity. As far as fat women go, fat women receive both more celebration and more criticism, while fat men are viewed more neutrally. I also would definitely not say that women who abuse men are viewed as “queens.” Some of this is a pretty big stretch.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:00 AM
10

Pretty much. There is some irony to the fact that men are always claiming to “peak” so much later than women, yet a 35-45 yr old woman looking for younger men will be more apt to be considered a milf, while a man in the same range after younger women will be more likely considered a creep. The only reason why men are sometimes considered to “peak” later in life is because looks/sexual attractiveness is less prioritized when people consider a man’s overall value as a person. But a man’s SMV/RMV p…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:39 PM
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The main weaknesses of TRP are black and white thinking and confirmation bias, which is what happens whenever anyone tries to make everything consistent with their worldview, and this post is a good example of that. For instance, the statements “women don’t only care about looks,” “women only find a minority of men attractive (but they aren’t all the same men),” and “no one ever said women don’t care about looks at all,” are in fact all true at the same time. But refusal to see the nuance in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:44 PM
2

This is why I say men looking for trad wives generally want a submissive servant, it’s not that they are just stupid as OP is implying.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:50 PM
2

You’re claiming that women are looking for goods and services in exchange for sex, and that traditional men are stupid for buying into it. I disagree. The most positive interpretation of why a man wants a trad wife is so the kids don’t have to go to daycare, so he can come home to a hot meal and clean home every night, so his wife can fully focus on parenting and homemaking without being stressed by another job. However, the reality is often because he wants a submissive servant who can’t leave …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 04:01 PM
4

Do you think non-trad couples don’t have sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 03:39 PM
8

The trad wife lifestyle has nothing to do with sex in exchange for being financially supported. It’s about staying home and taking care of the home and children so no paid childcare is needed, in exchange for being financially supported. It often also involves things like homeschooling, gardening, raising animals. Women who want to be trad wives like the romanticized version of an oldschool lifestyle, they like the idea of not having to be away from their kids all day, and the (supposedly) slowe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 03:34 PM
4

I also wonder how much of it is about/ends up being about community with other women. Like the AI boyfriend is the fantasy part, but talking with other women who can relate to their circumstances is the real part.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 05:45 AM
4

Of course leaving isn’t controlling someone. But threatening to leave whenever you’re not pleased about something without actually intending to do so, is a form of manipulation and a control tactic. Then many times these guys will play the victim when *she* finally leaves and claim they were “blindsided.” Trying to maintain control and access is exactly the reason why many men refuse to leave or keep coming back to women they don’t love or even like. So it’s like this, you both are free to leave…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 05:12 AM
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It all depends on your audience. Generally speaking, women’s preferences are paid more lip service in “mainstream” media, but this does not mean men in general just accept women’s preferences in any way, shape, or form. A woman cannot express any preference without being called shallow and picky or a liar on this sub. Another thing to consider is that there is a difference between having a preference and simply not dating people who fall outside those preferences, and feeling the need to “expres…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 10:53 PM
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I’m a woman, but I just wanna say that sometimes the word “deformity” is used rather loosely in the cosmetic surgery industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 03:40 PM
5

Social status is directly linked to social skills and the ability to project a certain image. That’s what this entire post is about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:57 PM
23

If this were the whole story, lesbians would experience a similar orgasm gap, and that isn’t the case. The “knee strength” comment alone makes me wonder how exactly you think women orgasm and why it would take knee strength. Now am I saying it’s just “men’s fault” either? No. The main reason for the orgasm gap has to do with the broader cultural idea of what sex is about in a heterosexual context (penetration) and when it’s considered to be over (when the man ejaculates). Most women don’t orgasm…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:21 PM
2

The comparison for men who struggle to date is women who struggle to date, and the comparison for women who end up in abusive relationships is men who end up in abusive relationships. Which you seem to be completely overlooking that both happen with both genders. Both can involve a level of pattern recognition, but that’s about where the comparison stops. Because when it comes to social skills, people aren’t actively trying to fool you. Whereas abusers don’t start out that way, they become abusi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:17 AM
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I don’t think your definition of “compatibility” (“same hobbies, same opinions, same routines, same personalities, same emotional patterns”) is the definition most people are thinking of. More like… same core values (not necessarily the same opinions on everything, just what really counts), long-term goals that align (not necessarily the same goals, but they don’t get in each other’s way), lifestyles that can coexist in the same home without constant conflict, complementary personalities (not ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:04 AM
3

Not if there’s any men around, sometimes women can be weird about too if they have a different preference. No matter what you say it’ll get twisted into a bad thing or called a lie, and if you get specific, you’re too picky. If you don’t have as high of standards, then men will say you’re lying and women will say you’re settling. So yeah, wouldn’t say there are any “safe spaces,” just perhaps safe people individually.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:47 PM
10

Everybody needs to know how to cook at least some basic recipes, and this is a non-optional life skill that must be learned, not something women are innately better at. Most women work outside the home these days just like men do, and two incomes aren’t optional. Single/divorced/widowed men tend to have horrible diets because they never learned to cook, and this isn’t good. Men not knowing how to cook is only a burden on their wives as well as themselves. So, sure, if a woman (or man) works fewe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:46 PM
1

Songs, books, and movies are often fantasy based and don’t really prove anything in terms of what most people actually want to experience in their lives. Many of Taylor’s fans aren’t even adults, many are adults who like her music for the nostalgia from their teen years. And as a previous commenter mentioned, if we’re using songs to prove what people want, it’s not looking too good for men who listen to hip hop. I mean I’m a normal law-abiding woman who sometimes listens to gangster rap, death m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:58 PM
5

You’re acting like women want a “Romeo and Juliette” type romance, which I don’t think is true for the majority. They were like 14 and 16, and Shakespeare wrote it as though they were (and as a cautionary tale, not an ideal love story). Most adult women would find that shit cringe. What most women want is someone who a) shows up like an adult the same way she does, someone she does not have to mother (this is the appeal of a slightly older man), b) some romance, does not need to be over the top …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 01:29 AM
10

Women are allowed to decide for themselves what makes a relationship worth it or not. If the bare minimum doesn’t cut it, then it doesn’t cut it. Nobody is going to change their standards because some Reddit guy said they should be okay with the bare minimum. Men are likewise allowed to set their own standards and decide if they want to meet a woman’s standards or not. Just don’t complain about being single, or do, but don’t expect anyone to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 10:57 PM
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Correct, firearms are much more lethal than other methods, leading to the “success” rate being higher for men since they’re more likely to own guns in the first place. But guns don’t jump up and shoot you without having the motivation to use them, which points to mental health problems. So I don’t believe either men or women necessarily are worse off with mental health, neither seem to be doing well right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 09:01 PM
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When it comes to relationships and marriage, it sort of depends on the couple who has it “better,” but if and when children enter the picture, women are kinda fucked. Pregnancy/childbirth is extremely mentally and physically taxing, motherhood is all-consuming while fatherhood usually is not, their careers take a huge hit, men tend to lose attraction to postpartum bodies and be mad their wives don’t have as much energy for sex after kids and start treating them badly. And in the case of divorce,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:54 PM
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Well it’s mainly because women live longer than men, which also means more elderly years. Which I don’t see as a positive thing, but neither is dying younger necessarily. Like everything with gender, it’s a knife that cuts both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:47 PM
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OP’s post is about life in general though, which maybe it shouldn’t be for a dating-specific sub, but it is. Women have it easier when it comes to dating I would say, relationships/marriage, not so much. I am mostly with you on the mental health aspect, however, which is why I cannot fully agree with OP’s arguments. She makes it sound as though women just by default have worse mental health, which I do not believe is true. I believe that men and women face somewhat different challenges in this a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:41 PM
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Well I agree women don’t have life “easier” on the whole than men. Relative ease or difficulty of life is determined by your parents’ socioeconomic class first and foremost, and your genetics second. Being attractive, neurotypical, and having wealthy, loving parents is “life on easy mode,” not gender. However, you are overlooking the fact that women are simply more likely to seek mental healthcare and be diagnosed than men. So I do not believe that men necessarily have lower rates of mental heal…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:27 PM
7

Excuse me but who in the world is “blaming” men for getting their lives together and choosing to be single? Is your mother pushing you to get married? Because truly, I cannot think of anyone else who would possibly care.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:46 PM
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I don’t think it’s really anything specific to entrepreneurs but to successful people in general. Certain traits tend to be correlated, like intelligence, social skills, looks, and good health, often starting with genetics and childhood environmental factors. Successful entrepreneurs tend to have one thing in common, which is wealthy parents. Wealthy parents are able to give their kids the best start in life including access to proper physical and mental healthcare and nutrition, opportunities t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:22 AM
6

Okay right off the bat, I have to doubt that most men would want to hear “most guys are trash, but you’re really nice.” Nor would I ever think that was okay to say. “You’re not like other girls/guys” is more vague and not necessarily going to get a negative reaction from either gender, but also wouldn’t say a guaranteed positive one. There are also people of both genders who do not particularly like their own gender, and will say themselves that they aren’t like other guys/girls. So it really ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:58 AM
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Yes. We’ve done a lot of things that I or in some cases both of us were curious about but hadn’t felt quite sure to try with others, such as threesomes and certain BDSM-related activities. Marriage and sexual compatibility creates a certain comfort level that allows you to explore. However, I feel like this next part also needs to be stated as it applies to why a woman might not/seem not to want to do certain sexual activities anymore. There are things we tried once and sort of liked in the mome…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:44 AM
3

Sure. This happens everywhere, it’s the nature of the internet. It’s not gender-specific or even related to any particular topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:37 PM
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At this point it seems like this is straight (no pun intended) paranoia. So I’m just going to say I am a proudly bisexual woman (not “I’m straight but I watch lesbian porn,” but “I date and have sex with both genders”) who has been happily married to a proudly bisexual man for a few years now. No, we are not secretly gay, yes, I am actually attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:40 PM
5

Okay I actually had my DMs off but turned them back on just for you. A bit curious why it can’t be shared here but can respect if you’d rather do that way. Update 5/15, Morgan Freeman voice: “Thursday and Friday came and went, and still no one had seen the screenshots.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:32 PM
6

And stating that you disagree with the worst interpretation doesn’t automatically mean the worst interpretation is the intended one… if not, then it might be important to clarify a bit more in the original post. Because this is the internet. People aren’t always going to assume the very best intentions behind a post — usually they will assume the worst. Do men automatically assume the best intentions behind women’s posts? lol No, no they do not. I have been told I must just hate men for simply d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:16 PM
11

I didn’t downvote you, can you show me the link?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:09 PM
10

Generally speaking in most life situations, yes, that would be the case. But when you’ve seen the same bad-faith argument play out 100 times before, sometimes you just want to cut to the chase.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:07 PM
34

Because no, men do not always outright say their hostile meanings. They will often try to make it sound more like something people might be able to sympathize with until you start connecting the dots and digging a bit. And because the same points get rehashed so many times on here, we kinda can guess what is coming next before it does. Not saying this will be the case 100% of the time obviously, but this sub is quite predictable.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:20 PM
0

Problem is men will complain that a woman provides no value beyond sex, and then turn around and say that all they’re interested in is regular sex and brag about how low their standards are. So… maybe if you keep ending up with women who are not generous in any way, dare I say “choose better”?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:13 PM
11

So I’m with you most of the way here, but you lost me on “a priority” (as opposed to “the top priority”) and “unless you’re in the top 0.1% of men.” The kids are naturally going to become her top priority (and should become his) regardless of what “percentage of men” her husband is in. And, when they’re still in the new baby stage, they will be the only priority she has time and energy for. However, as they get older, are no longer nursing, are not quite so attached, etc., it’s important that yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:22 AM
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I don’t think you are making it about coercion, but based on previous discussions I’ve gotten into with men here on the topic, they do not all think the same way about it. If you dig, they will start claiming that if she really loves/is attracted to you, she should be willing to do things she doesn’t actually enjoy because she did that for some other guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:48 AM
4

Yes, but men have historically always transactionalized relationships — they’re just upset that now women can bargain for more out of those transactions they set up, or avoid a transaction entirely. It’s kind of like an employer being upset the employees have unionized, then trying to claim it “was never supposed to be about the money, you guys are too transactional!”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:47 PM
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The problem is men tend to assume it’s scenario 2 when it’s exponentially more likely to be scenario 1. Like if she’s turned off enough by her current partner for that to ruin a sex act she used to love, she would have to be turned off enough that she’s not even going to be wanting to have sex at all. If that’s the case, you’re going to notice a lot more wrong than just that. It does not even make sense to focus on that specific part. So it definitely seems like there’s an element of “I know she…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:27 PM
6

I don’t think it’s necessarily that they would ideally rather put everything into their careers, but that they don’t really see an alternative in this economy, at least not one that’s the least bit appealing. Either be an exhausted working mom or a poor and stuck SAHM. One need not be 100% thrilled with their life to not be 100% miserable. Very few people are completely happy with their lives whether they married and reproduced or not, and I think OP is just stating that most of these women are …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:41 PM
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I’m not entirely disagreeing with you, rather adding some specifics and caveats. Because sometimes this sort of advice is taken as “if you pull back they will chase you,” which is not always the case. Sometimes they are just done and it’s time to accept that. Other times if you were wrong about them losing interest, you pulling back will make them lose interest. It depends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:04 AM
3

Then when women say things like “never trust a man who __,” men come in to call women paranoid and cry about false accusations destroying a man’s reputation. And I’m really having trouble believing a significant number of women said to give a cheater a second chance… would like to see what you’re referring to here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:43 PM
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Best thing to do assuming she is actually losing interest and you’re not misinterpreting things, is to just politely actually move on. Not chase nor play little “no you chase me” games, because none of that is going to work, and you’re wasting your time and mental energy. Now, if you just think she might be losing interest but really don’t know, best to communicate that like an adult or risk pushing her away by either chasing or playing hard to get. If you tend to be an overthinker, sometimes th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:36 PM
5

I find it hard to take these far-fetched hypotheticals seriously. Like fine as a shower thought/high thought, but can’t really expect other people you’re not passing the blunt to to join in. You don’t “give” people jobs like that. Jobs exist, people need jobs to survive, people apply for the best jobs they are able to get. So anything that’s based on a system of “giving” jobs or expecting hive-mind collective action is already a non-starter.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:06 PM
3

Kinda hard for me to take this generalization seriously when criminals like Donald Trump or Andrew Tate have so many fanboys. This is not fully a gender issue, but overall, women seem to go the hardest against sex criminals and crimes against children, while seeking lighter sentences for people who… didn’t really hurt anybody. Meanwhile, rape apologists are more likely to be male (please note I am not saying all or even most men here, plenty of men want justice too).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:43 PM
1

Because they are pathetic, weak, deceitful and conniving? Sometimes. Sometimes just young, stupid, and barking up the wrong tree. What is “suggesting romantic intent”? Going on actual dates, for example. You might hang out with someone you’re just hooking up with but probably not going on dates. “Future faking” (“I want to be with you… as soon as I [graduate/finish this project at work/move/finalize the divorce/find myself”]. Rushed emotional intimacy (with friends there is usually a gradual bui…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:36 AM
1

Same reason men hang around as “friends” for years then get mad when she sees them as a friend I guess? But that is actually far sillier, since usually, the “friendzoner” is not going through the motions of dating or showing any real signs of interest in something more. Whereas with the “sex zone,” the guy is often acting in an ambiguous way, suggesting romantic intent but just avoiding saying it outright for plausible deniability. Now, if he is not doing that, then it’s the same as the friendzo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:18 PM
1

Haha true, that is actually me at work. Just have to be careful since at my last job, I accidentally eliminated my own job by streamlining to the point I had almost nothing to do. Oops. Also agree it’s not about who “works harder,” relationships do take mutual effort but it should be symbiotic effort vs a competition for who can do less. I mean… what’s the point if that’s how it’s gonna be?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 10:11 PM
0

Well, I mean it’s true that “there are three sides to every story — yours, theirs, and the truth.” But as I said in my original comment, it is not at all hard to simply say “I wanna keep this casual” if that’s the case and one wants to avoid possible drama. And the best way to avoid shitty situationships is simply not to jump in bed early on, but then men get mad and try to claim that means she’s “not really attracted to him.” (Not that I think women should pay attention to that.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 09:56 PM
9

If nothing is stated either way, sure, it shouldn’t be assumed that it’s anything more than sex. But it’s lying about wanting a relationship in order to manipulate someone to have sex with you who otherwise might not, that is the problem. That being said, it takes like two seconds to say “I want to keep this casual,” and that’s what people who truly have no intent to deceive do. So, while of course nothing is owed either way, you also have to be willing to accept any drama that might result from…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:57 PM
3

Well let’s put it this way, not all people who “exert less energy” are lazy, but all lazy people “exert less energy.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:24 AM
12

Sometimes people remain in relationships with someone who makes no effort simply because they are “stuck” (finances, kids). This does not make said lazy person a “prize,” quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 10:44 PM
45

I don’t see women getting angry if guys are more laid back in their approach. More complaints about men being too pushy. As far as who is “the prize,” imho nobody is a “prize” or should be treated that way. Humans are not prizes, everyone is flawed, and dating isn’t a zero sum game. It’s about figuring out which flawed human you’re compatible with. Now, I think men are making it pretty clear they overall tend to want women more than women overall want them, and that they’re frustrated by this fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:51 PM
14

Your quote sounds like it came straight from a feminist source. Feminists talk about these issues all the time. Feminists also delve into issues relating to how men and women are socialized differently and the issues this leads to, but that isn’t exclusive from talking about biological differences. It’s both, not either/or. There also are many different types of feminists who don’t necessarily focus on the same things or even agree with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 02:10 PM
2

The same could be said for red pillers in reverse. They will try to claim that women only care about looks, money, and status and don’t care about personality, then turn around and claim women actively choose abusive and bad men. But ah, now you’re saying “but two things can be true at once!” Well, that’s the case with the blue pill argument too, maybe even more so because I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone claiming “women only care about personality.” This is an example of the “Straw Blue Pil…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 10:19 PM
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Well apparently you don’t have to “master the game” to not live a life of loneliness. But this is a great example of goalposts getting moved and how it’s often not really about “loneliness.” It’s about wanting to be seen and treated as something you’re not. Most women are in no way, shape, or form any man’s “first choice,” and are for the most part treated very much like the convenient, “good enough” options we are. Yet men here act like it’s a crime against humanity that they might not be a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:54 PM
2

Well if many women cheat, they don’t tell each other about it, because I am not hearing about it if that’s what you mean. Statistically, men cheat somewhat more, although of course stats rely on self-reporting so who knows what the actual numbers are. If I had to guess, a lot more men than women try to cheat, perhaps close to 100% once we get into the older age groups, but women who do try are more likely to be successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:17 PM
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I’m seeing a lot of claims without data to support them. Yes, young men do seem to be seeking marriage and children more than young women, but they are not in fact “doing everything they’re supposed to do.” Rather, the more they see themselves losing control, the more they are regressing to “traditionalism” and anti-feminist rhetoric. young men today are more pro “women’s rights” than previous generations of men Is that why 31% of gen z men say that “a wife should always obey her husband,” compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:04 PM
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I don’t feel that way, more like “life ain’t completely worth it if you’re not born to rich parents,” but close enough I suppose.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:24 AM
1

I mean the almost paradoxical fact is that most people stand out in one way or another. It’s not normal to be completely “normal” in every single way, that in itself would be an anomaly. So no, I’ve never slept with an NPC, at least not in my view. Maybe in someone else’s, or maybe if you didn’t know them, that’s hard to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:33 AM
1

So there’s a lot I agree with here, like seduction being separate from being nice and niceness not being enough to make someone want you. I mean it’s not as it men go after women just because they’re “nice,” and likewise, “nice” is not enough to attract a woman. However, a lot of the issue comes from men mixing up “nice” with “boring,” or simply “not evil.” Most “nice guys,” maybe most men in general, seem to be just basically “lawful neutral.” They are self-absorbed devils’ advocates whose mora…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:19 AM
5

Well I can’t imagine sitting around writing rants about “if a Victoria’s Secret model can get away with it, why can’t I?” I don’t consider the experiences of people many leagues above me in looks, money, status to be relevant to my life. Well, except for the fact pretty much every gorgeous female celeb has been cheated on by a mid man with a mid woman, I feel like there is a harsh truth in there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:48 AM
-1

A woman cheats on her boyfriend Women tend to be pretty harsh on cheating all the way around. Definitely see more MEN defending men cheating than women defending anyone cheating. Never seen a woman claiming that female biology just predisposes women to seek multiple partners, the way men use “muh biology” arguments to justify their cheating. A woman hits a man and gets hit back Likewise don’t see many women excusing violent women. Now, one thing women WILL rightfully point out is that some men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 11:51 PM
2

Well it’s his life, his standards, and I’m not going to tell someone else what those should be. Now, if he just wants honesty on if I think he WILL find someone who meets his standards, I would compare what he has to offer to what he is asking for, and ask how his luck is going so far. There’s no one “line” where it’s too much because it’s relative to what he’s working with, where he lives, what sort of women he has the opportunity to meet. But ultimately, time will tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 11:16 PM
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First off, I’m not buying that men respond any better to being told to “choose better.” The guys here at least don’t seem to want to take any modicum of accountability for their situations or the type of women they are pursuing; the mere suggestion that a man could do anything differently is met with immediate denial and outrage. Second, there is always an issue with what exactly “choose better” is supposed to mean, contradictory messages being sent about women being “too picky” at the same time…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:21 PM
0

Yes he should take this opportunity. She is likely not even any less attracted to him that he is to her, women’s attraction just tends to work a bit differently. Men are hornier and more physical, so usually they don’t need more than a baseline of physical attraction to feel attracted to a woman. Women are drawn to looks too, but often need more to go from “he is attractive” to “I am attracted to him.” Being good at something is a part of who you are as a person, it’s not like money for instance…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:41 AM
1

Some of it may start as a desire to be edgy, but I think for the most part they’ve just so deeply convinced themselves that sexless men are always the true victims and women are at fault for everything that it allows them to avoid any possible accountability for their actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:04 PM
1

Oh I definitely agree there. I just don’t see these guys caring about harming women in any other context, in fact many seem to like that idea, so I doubt that would have any impact on their choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:28 PM
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But but a lot of men are still so graciously willing to stick their dicks in the unattractive women they make fun of, how can you be so ungrateful for their service?! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 11:58 AM
1

“Hooker” is just slang for a sex worker who actually has sex with their clients (prostitute is another term). All hookers are sex workers, not all sex workers are hookers. You’re grasping at straws here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:17 AM
1

Sex workers pretty much universally require condoms. I guess there’s another perk of the robot, can rawdog it? But may wanna wrap it up anyway, since I hear that having no easy way to clean them is one of the issues they’re currently running into. Ah, the discussions one can have on Reddit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:11 AM
2

When it comes to marriage/long-term relationships and children, yes. It works both ways — social legitimacy increases chances for sex/children/relationships, and those things also provide social legitimacy. There was another comment from a man I just replied to that specifically mentioned social legitimacy as one of the last perks of long-term relationships, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:05 AM
1

A robot does not provide any social legitimacy though. Like I can see some men (and less but also some women) being willing to pretend with an AI companion, but mainly those who are already willing to pretend in other ways (like sex workers). I don’t believe in shaming anyone simply for being lonely. But let’s be real, the idea of AI companions is often framed online in a way that’s intended to provoke negative reactions, like what OP is talking about. A man who is lonely and wants to purchase a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:36 AM
1

Robots can be programmed for long-term “exclusivity” but don’t provide the social legitimacy most men who are interested in that want from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:06 AM
2

And the biggest problem with the robot is your festering semen in her orifices if not meticulously cleaned after use… I guess it’s your own, but still pretty gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:03 AM
1

Plenty of sex workers will offer literal “escort” services for events or provide a “girlfriend experience.” Either way, you’re either paying a person to pretend to be your girlfriend or buying a machine to pretend to be your girlfriend. There are differences and hypothetical pros to the robot “girlfriend” (like one-time cost investment, customization to ideal) and cons (cleaning, higher initial cost, uncanny valley). But I just think the men who would actually purchase the robot are the same one…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:53 AM
4

Well, I really can’t take the guys who talk about robot gfs seriously if they aren’t already willing to hire sex workers. Because sure, I can see them replacing hookers, but if a hooker doesn’t give you the validation you’re looking for, you’re ashamed to hire one, or you can’t afford that, there’s no way a sex bot is going to be any better on any of those fronts. It seems to just be an “it’s over for you ladies!!!1” tantrum tbh, nothing they’re actually going to pay for.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 10:56 PM
3

I think it’s (at least partially) really a desire for male validation. Women are used as another status symbol, like cars or money. They’re not looking for approval from the car itself, but from other men being impressed they have it, and it’s the same with women. Of course this isn’t always 100% the case, but seems to be closer to the reality of it than actually seeking female approval. Otherwise they would behave very differently than they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:20 PM
-2

You’re framing it as if women are somehow trying to force you to police the behaviors of other men. This is not even possible and not what’s going on. It’s simply that nobody is going to believe “I’m not like the other guys” claims if you value the approval of other men over actually being different from the “other guys.” “Wow there sure are a lot of men crying ‘not all men, I’m a nice guy!’ but not actually doing anything different” is simply an observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:23 AM
-1

What exactly does “emotional responsibility” look like? What specifically are you being asked to do, and who is asking you to? You can’t debate someone’s feelings, so I still am not sure what you were expecting people to debate here if it’s just about a “feeling of responsibility.” does mean random uninvolved men are not responsible for the consequences How are random uninvolved men supposed to “be responsible”? What does this look like? you also basically admitted nobody is obligated to feel ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:59 PM
1

I mean… adults can choose to do what they wanna do I guess. But this is so bizarre, like I think it’s at least worth considering why casual sex is so important to you. Usually it seems to come down to validation, so you’re basically saying “sacrifice everything including your mental health for validation from strangers.” Like I think if this were a teen girl making the same post about being skinny or internet famous, people would be immediately concerned and suggest therapy. And it’s giving the …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 05:03 PM
-2

feel guilt or not feel bad for what happens to her Hold up, those are two different things. I don’t “feel guilt” when someone gets robbed, for example, because I didn’t rob them. Why would I? I do, however, “feel bad” for them because they are a person and got robbed. I don’t assume they chose to get robbed, and you’re assuming that women intentionally choose bad men (which is usually not the case). You of course are not obligated to feel bad for anyone if you don’t, but just because you’re not …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:46 PM
-5

Geez some of you guys are sure melodramatic. Nobody is asking you to feel guilt. You’re choosing to take it personally and quite frankly vastly overestimating how much women think about you at all. Pretending that “selected” and “unselected” men are somehow distinct categories of men who intrinsically have different moral qualities is also a false dichotomy. A man who is not selected simply does not have the opportunity to mistreat women — this doesn’t mean he wouldn’t. It also doesn’t mean he w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 12:53 PM
–

I always offered to go Dutch, I think it should just be the default in this day and age. But this isn’t as black and white as you’re making it. Every woman has her own ideas about this topic and every woman is watching your behavior, whether she’s attracted to you or not. Because women are likewise trying to determine if you are attracted to them/actually like them and what type of guy you are. That’s the irony of dating — most people are more concerned about whether the other person really is i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 12:20 PM
1

I disagree there because serial monogamy has kinda always been the norm (if one can claim a norm since there’s always been a lot of variation in human mating patterns), even when religious institutions were trying to enforce lifelong monogamy, and definitely prior to that. In many cases it was because “lifelong” just wasn’t that long, and people would start over with a new partner after their husband died in battle or wife died in childbirth. It’s ideal for parents to stay together at least unti…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:44 PM
2

I think it’s a mix of more people choosing to be single and more simply not being able to find a partner. Somewhat more women opting out and men not finding a partner, it seems. As for if people will give up on serial monogamy, I don’t think so because it seems to be what most people end up doing without outside pressure from religious structures, in order to maximize both stability and freedom. Because it provides a level of stability (most people don’t really want to end a relationship for no …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 10:15 PM
–

The issue I’m addressing here is not “leading with attraction first.” Of course looks are the first thing you’re going to notice about someone, and women as well as men want their partners to be attracted to them. The problem is when that’s where it stops. Something along the lines of “This woman is at least attractive enough that I won’t be embarrassed to introduce her to people, and I don’t think there’s a great chance of finding one more attractive right now, so good enough,” without ever goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:04 PM
10

Monogamy, or more specifically serial monogamy, will remain the standard. Just likely with more cohabitation vs legal marriages, and less expectation for relationships to last a lifetime with fewer couples having children and being more free to move on if it’s not working anymore. More people will choose to remain single too, but most will still want to have a partner. Partially for emotional reasons (seeking companionship is natural and it’s hard to maintain close friendships as an adult) and p…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:10 AM
–

I mean even this same study says that lab rats are more stressed when male researchers handle them. Most pet animals like dogs and cats also warm up to women faster. Men are 4x more likely to abuse animals than women. Unlike these animals, wild birds are not animals that experience much direct human interaction, positive or negative, because they almost always fly away before you can get close to them. So it’s rather preposterous to imply that women are “doing” anything to birds when it’s not as…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:23 AM
–

No, we are aware, which is one of the reasons why it’s hard to build a case for why women should be less picky, or invest much in relationships with men in general. Sure, having one motivator be wanting regular sex does not necessarily mean a man won’t be a good partner. But there’s a whole lot of men who don’t select for much of anything at all beyond physical attraction, leaving women to have to figure out compatibility in a one-sided manner. “Does this guy even like me, or does he just want a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:20 PM
7

If you think Klay would be fine with picking a woman from CVS, then why didn’t he just do that? And she could also find a guy hotter than him at CVS willing to date her for money and fame if she wanted. But clearly neither of them want that. You’re comparing what he “can” do to what she “probably wants” to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:42 AM
8

What possible need would Meg, a multimillionaire herself, have for a “provider”? And yes, I’m sure she can easily replace him too, both of these people have essentially unlimited options, and both are fully aware of this fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:31 AM
6

I think we need to define what is meant by “drama” to have a meaningful discussion here. Because some people are higher drama than others, for sure, and unless you’re both like that I guess, that’s something to avoid. But sometimes “I don’t want any drama” tends to translate to “I don’t want to deal with other people’s inconvenient feelings so I will call them ‘drama,’ but of course my own are valid.”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 08:34 AM
-2

I have to disagree that “red pill is still fringe and well outside the Overton window.” While no, most men are not active in red pill space nor would they identify themselves as “red pillers,” the Overton window has shifted dramatically to the right in recent years, and similar attitudes about women and feminism found in these spaces are quite mainstream. For example, 30% of gen z men agree with the statement “wives should always obey their husbands,” compared to only 13% of boomer men. source Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:05 PM
12

average men often get a very different version of dating. Do you think the average woman is having anything close to the same experience as an Instagram model? Not at all. This is not something unique to men. And although neither average men nor women will have anything like the experience of “top tier” people, both will encounter individuals who genuinely like and care about them, and those who don’t. This is why having standards is important. men are usually honest Honesty isn’t what men are l…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:09 PM
16

Don’t think this is a road you want to go down as a man…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 10:31 AM
8

2040, although it’s hard to believe, is only 14 years away. For perspective, 14 years ago was 2012. Dating has changed in that timeframe sure, and will continue to change, but short of a cataclysmic event like WW3, it will likely look more similar than different. Some random predictions: Trad wife and alpha male influencers become associated with middle aged folks and viewed as cringe among young people (I mean they already are, but more universally), can no longer attract a sufficient audience …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:10 AM
20

They’ll admit it in abstract, then deny how much it affects outcomes. Because the reality is that just because women’s preferences tend toward tall attractive men, this does not result in the outcome of average height, average looking men being forever alone. Same way men’s preferences for “18”-22 yr olds does not result in the outcome of women no longer being able to get a date at 23 or only supermodels getting married. Preferences are just that — preferences. But then the goalposts get moved t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:18 AM
38

the argument gets turned into some moral accusation Because men are framing it as a moral accusation, not just a neutral observation. If it were really just statements like “women prefer tall attractive men,” there would not be much to discuss. Even “blue pillers” know that, just like they know men prefer attractive women. It’s not groundbreaking, it’s not controversial, and it’s not what these discussions are about. These discussions are almost always focused on framing women’s preferences as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 01:20 AM
4

This issue is more complex than it seems on the surface. Because while yes it would suck to have people be more automatically wary of you, some men being violent also lowers the bar for what constitutes a “good man.” Men like to go back and forth between “it’s not fair to talk about men that way because very few are dangerous,” and “I’m a good man because I’m not violent.” Both cannot be true at once. If violent men are so rare that women don’t really need to be wary of men, then not being viole…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:13 PM
2

It doesn’t really matter if the behavior is new or not, passport bros have the right to do what they do, and other people have the right to feel how they do about them. Just like you are entitled to your feelings about single moms, people don’t have to respect passport bros. In fact, if passport bros/wannabe passport bros didn’t constantly bring it up, most people wouldn’t be talking about it at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:01 AM
13

Well that’s funny because the last time I saw someone comparing male loneliness to issues like rape and domestic abuse, it was a man trying to garner sympathy. (Hint: that’s not how you do it.)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:15 PM
3

“But if a man is nice/vulnerable, he’ll get walked on and disrespected.” Well, what do you think happens to women constantly? You just don’t see it that way because you are used to the default of women not being respected. You can either be kind of a dick and not walked on as much but not get much sympathy either, or you can be nice and agreeable and get more sympathy but sometimes get walked on too. Of course the ideal for both genders is to strike a balance and be kind with a backbone, but you…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:45 PM
1

Except from what I’ve seen, it isn’t typically phrased like “attraction isn’t evenly distributed,” or “some men get way more attention.” Those are rather vague and self-evident statements, and usually instead some pretty big conclusions are being jumped to based on poor interpretation of data or a couple personal anecdotes. Like “80% of men are alone and unwanted” based on that one Ok Cupid study from way back when. Because okay, I could take this study and make the claim that “it’s pointless fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:28 PM
8

The way you say things, as well as the nuance of what you’re saying, will always matter. For example, if I say “Men prefer pretty women,” I’ll get basically a “duh?” response. If I say “Men are shallow as a mud puddle and only care about looks,” I will get anger and pushback. If I say “Men tend to prefer younger women,” once again, the duh response. If I say “Men have borderline pedophilic tendencies and the only thing stopping them from pursuing 13 yr olds is the law and the girls’ dads,” I’ll …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:32 AM
3

I’d say men “peak” only about 3-5 years later than women on average in terms of dating options. I say this because young women are pretty averse to dating men who are any younger than they are, but also pretty averse to dating men significantly older. Some of this depends on how much of an age queen the man in question is, because late 20s will often date 30+, early 20s not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:19 AM
2

Maybe that’s not what you’re saying, but that is exactly what OP is saying. Read through his replies to comments in this thread. He doesn’t see men’s desire to get laid as any different from women’s “desire” to have rights. And this is not exactly an uncommon sentiment found on this sub. So “what exactly do you mean by sympathy/empathy?” is a valid question, given the context of this thread when no other context is provided. Now, would that be my response to a man saying something like “I feel l…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:13 PM
5

Eh, I believe this is how a lot of men are to varying degrees. But it’s on a spectrum like everything else (sexual orientation, sociosexual orientation, gender expression, etc.). Men and women are different, but also the same species. And different people have different levels of propensity toward romantic love and attachment to a partner. For instance, there are asexual men who still want a romantic partner. There is also a social component — women have been socialized to believe in and seek an…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:59 PM
2

Saying “sympathy and empathy for men/women” without specifying exactly what we’re supposed to have sympathy/empathy about in regard to each, is vague and fruitless.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:35 AM
1

Hmm, but why do you think society enforces your interest in keeping your wallet? It doesn’t seem to be random, there seems to be a pattern in which interests society considers a desire vs a right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:33 AM
1

So how do you think most men would respond to the statement “I don’t date men under 25 because they are immature,” vs “AMALT — men of all ages exhibit the same patterns of immaturity, just in different packages, so I’d rather date a 20 yr manchild with hair and a dick that still works than a 30 yr old norwooding manchild with a beer belly and the start of ED”? No idea, it’s a mystery!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:43 PM
10

Trouble is you’re basing “peak” for both genders on the perspective of a man. Most women aren’t that male-focused and don’t consider their peak to be when the most men find them attractive, and if it were, those numbers would unfortunately be even lower. More like the period of life where they have some money and are still healthy enough to enjoy it. And men are not the most attractive to women in middle age, more like 25-30 generally speaking. For guys who used to do sports and later became sed…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:12 AM
2

I mean physically abusive relationships are also emotionally abusive, it’s just a matter of some being physical too and others not, but no matter what they all leave lasting damage. I suppose the only way physical abuse can sometimes be “better” is that it’s more likely to be instantly recognized as abuse, and some people will leave right away. With emotional abuse, it can be more insidious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:54 PM
8

Which of men’s human rights, specifically, are they being denied?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:19 PM
10

So if someone has an interest in taking your wallet, that’s fundamentally no different from your interest in keeping it? Since they’re both just “desires,” nothing magical or anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:05 PM
4

You mean the fact… gold diggers exist? Just wait till they find out the First Lady might not actually love the President for his beautiful hair and kind heart, it’s shocking actually! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:41 AM
3

Once the hitting stops, it’s as if it never happened Tell me you know nothing about abusive relationships without telling me you know nothing about abusive relationships. You’re never going to feel safe with that person again, as you shouldn’t, because it will happen again unless you leave. Trust is broken, same as with cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 01:09 AM
34

But you are asking for women to “care about your suffering.” Why would they if you can’t/won’t even differentiate women’s basic human rights from your own desires? Using the term “interests” in place of both “rights” and “desires” is your way of circumventing this flaw in your logic. YOU are acting like the billionaire in your metaphor. Saying “if you plebes give us what we want, we will let you have some rights.” That’s why they are hated.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:13 AM
1

That covered both dating and general misogyny, too. Exactly my point. Any feminist, male or female, is going to be concerned about issues pertaining to misogyny. A lot of times the friendzone discourse involves misogyny, because it stems from the idea that if a man was a good friend to a woman, she owes him more than friendship, that platonic friendship with a woman is inherently disgraceful, etc. It’s not just “men’s grievances vs women’s grievances” it’s “real societal issues related to dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:06 AM
65

Ah the same old “why should we respect your human rights if you don’t respect our rights to fuck you?” No clue why women might not have much empathy for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:20 PM
0

I don’t find dating grievances to be a feminist issue (unless they somehow pertain to a feminist issue). Like yes, if the grievance is something like men acting entitled to your body or talking over you on dates, that can pertain to feminist issues. But if it’s more like “the men I like don’t like me,” or “they’re all boring,” or “they’re too cheap,” that’s not a feminist issue, that’s just whining and often involves entitlement, same as most male dating grievances. And one cannot expect others …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:15 PM
–

To some degree yes, for sure, but I think it also attests to the degree that society in general truly does NOT care about men’s/boys’ looks in comparison to women’s/girls’. Because if they even can somehow make it to 16+ years of age without feeling immense pressure to improve their appearance, they must not be having anything close to the same experience girls do. I became conscious that how I looked mattered at probably age 3-5. People are constantly commenting on how little girls look, we obs…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:05 PM
3

It only takes a sprinkle of truth to get people‘s confirmation bias going and get them to start buying into a lot of bs. Like any other echo chamber, TRP is not simply all true or all false. It’s more a collection of carefully cherry-picked information spun to produce a warped view of reality, propped up by collective confirmation biases. most men found the manosphere trying to get dating advice and seeing what type of men get women. “Seeing what type of men get women” is a good example of an ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:44 AM
2

Where are you getting that single mothers blame all men and not just the father of their child? Like I’m sure there are some who feel that way, but never noticed this being a common theme at all. Rather, it seems single parents in general just tend to blame the other parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:36 AM
1

Well that’s the thing I suppose, different men and women are having different experiences and making different choices. Statistically, we know more people are choosing to stay single, but if it’s men and women in similar numbers, it not really going to affect the market for those who choose to date. What IS being felt more than anything I think is a loss of our third spaces and social connections, because it doesn’t matter how many men or women are “out there” if you’re not meeting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:48 AM
0

I know this is just anecdotal, but for whatever reason I’ve been getting approached more lately and I’m just a normal “older” married woman not looking for a date, so I was wondering if perhaps there was some sort of “put down the apps and just talk to as many women as you can” trend starting. And I don’t mind since they’ve all been polite, but it seems to me that just as many women are still complaining about men approaching them as there are women complaining that they’re not. My main impressi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 11:06 PM
0

…ya know what, it’s probably best to just keep thinking that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:31 PM
5

“Old” as in 60, might as well say “no,” because that’s only going to be such a small number of outliers there’s really no point in mentioning it. Because while yes “keeping oneself in good shape” is part of it, people who look good enough to be attractive to much younger people at that age are genetic outliers and/or have lots of money. Asian people are also known for staying youthful looking much longer than most ethnicities, especially white people. So if you’re white and think you’re going to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:16 PM
–

This is actress Cate Blanchett’s husband, Andrew Upton:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(999x0:1001x2)/cate-blanchett-andrew-upton-5-e848ea4c919b4f2a9cdc9ed6172a855b.jpg). They’ve been together like 30 yrs now, this is an older pic so nobody can say “I bet he used to be better looking”… he never was. But never once have I heard women say a word about this man outside of Reddit threads where people are asking about “mismatched” couples in Hollywood. And even then it tends to be pretty polite, n…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:50 PM
0

A man who does not want to date women anymore is not a desirable man, even if he is attractive. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who would prefer to be single? This is a consistent difference I notice between men and women. For all the talk of wanting to be “genuinely desired,” men are still trying to force, guilt, and negotiate women to “genuinely desire” them, even though this is an oxymoron. Women have no wish to try to make men date them if they don’t want to, that’s why the th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:17 PM
–

It’s rare for women to come after some famous woman’s husband like this just because he’s short or makes less than her. Now if a guy who happens to be short or broke does something shitty, like cheat on that woman, the insults are coming out. But just to be mad that he exists? Not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 12:52 PM
–

You should read the follow up comment I posted after this one. I stated that I do think each of us has a responsibility to make reasonable adjustments where possible. I just don’t think struggling citizens should be guilted into going into debt for an electric car by a politician taking his third private jet ride this week. The wealthiest 10% in the US and China are estimated to have caused 2/3 of climate change since 1990 And as I stated in my other reply, there are feasible lifestyle adjustmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 09:34 AM
5

Do men really care about the dating grievances of strange women on the internet? Never seen anything that suggests they do, nor would I expect them to. I’m really not sure what sort of response men are even looking for in these instances, “Oh this random Reddit guy thinks I need to lower my standards and date men I don’t want to date because they might be lonely, yes I’ll do that right away so the ‘system doesn’t collapse’”?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:40 AM
2

Red pill is amoral the same way Christians are supposed to love everyone. As in it’s technically supposed to be amoral all the way around, and I’m sure there are a few red pillers who treat it this way. But when I don’t think I’ve ever seen one red pill talking point that didn’t use emotionally charged, derogatory language when discussing women’s behavior, and neutral language when discussing men’s behavior, think it’s safe to say that’s a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:30 PM
–

I mean when it comes to fossil fuel use, I think we should all do the best we reasonably can, there isn’t much moral justification for being just… irresponsible about it. But if you can’t afford an electric car, solar panels, etc., you can’t afford them. With kids, there aren’t those “small lifestyle adjustments” you can make to help — you can either have an extremely expensive and time-consuming 18 yr investment (or more), or not. Plus, kids are, you know… people, who need to be wanted. An elec…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:16 PM
–

Just as with birth rates — no, it is not the responsibility of the struggling consumer to purchase electric vehicles we can’t afford in an attempt to clean up the mess created by governments, large corporations, and the wealthy elites.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:22 PM
1

Absolutely. I have to say I’ve been able to start FAR more conversations from interesting info I discovered doomscrolling than I have because of the fact I can play the piano. Playing an instrument is great for the individual and for certain circumstances, but it’s, dare I say, a little one note (sorry lol). Most people do not care nearly as much about what you can do, as they do about if you’re able to hold a decent conversation about whatever topics come up, and if you take a genuine interest …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 11:12 PM
8

I understand that they are unhappy, that the women they’re dating aren’t what they’re looking for so they don’t see the point of making an effort to date. Do I understand in the sense of “would I walk away from dating if I were a man”? I don’t think so but I don’t know, I have dated women and would again, but I’m not a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:08 PM
20

Do you mean the “do you not believe us here”? I believe they are truly disgruntled with women and the dating scene, absolutely. But does it seem like they’re actually walking away? No, not really. More like what I said — they’re trying to make women behave how they want by continuously threatening to walk away. But it doesn’t work because the women they’re complaining about don’t want men like them either. It’s simply an incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 09:48 PM
1

So I’m guessing your point here is that you believe these influencers have been planted as a conspiracy to poison the well and make the manosphere look bad? Well, if so, I guess it’s been wildly successful. Because apparently, that’s what enough men want to see, or these guys could not gain the following they have. That’s the issue I have with acting as though this is all due to some scarcity of good male role models. Yes, these influencers are insanely predatory. Yes, many boys lack positive ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 09:01 PM
2

even when a man is not a rapist they know a rapist and are okay with it. I don’t agree with this statement as a generalization, I do not think all men know one of their buddies is a rapist as are just fine with that. However, it’s a lot more serious to choose to look the other way on something like rape than to… idk, not be mad that one of your girl friends only dates rich guys? Of course these are not always going to be the examples being compared, but more often, men are complaining about wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 08:37 PM
3

Difference is the “not all men” comments tend to be said in response to attempts to have a discussion about a horrific crime that took place and women feeling unsafe as a result, when it was rather obvious nobody thought it was “all men” to begin with. “Women aren’t a monolith” is usually in response to rather silly blanket statements about women in general a man is making based on something a woman did that made him mad, or the behavior of some hookers hired to come on a show and make women loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:53 PM
2

“The sexual revolution” =/= “the porn/sex industry.” Yes, the porn/sex industry really only benefits a select few at the top. But there was so much more to the sexual revolution that really did benefit a majority of people, such as birth control allowing couples to choose how many kids they would have and greatly reducing teen pregnancy, the concept of CONSENT entering public consciousness, children no longer being shunned for being born out of wedlock… these were all also results of the sexual …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:33 PM
3

I can tell you right now, that 40 yr old man’s mother still loves him just as much as the day he was born, still wants to hug him, still wants to take care of him as long as she is able to. Just because random women don’t feel the same way doesn’t negate maternal instinct.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:17 PM
58

If you feel that way, I have zero problem with you choosing not to participate in dating. Many women feel the same and are opting out. What does irritate me are guys who go on and on about “dating is not worth it” but keep trying to date while acting mad they’re not getting what they want out of it. It comes off as more of an attempt to coerce women into dating them and behaving the way they want vs truly just making the choice to walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:13 PM
0

And the ones with girlfriends aren’t complaining so you don’t hear from them and underestimate how many there are, that’s the point. There also seem to be a lot of guys who sound pretty toxic complaining about not having girlfriends, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 09:19 AM
0

I didn’t say “no way to tell.” I was saying that basically, if you only know someone as an acquaintance, you could easily be wrong about how they are with their partner. Of course there are some people who are very obviously toxic, but most toxic people are not obvious, and there are also unpleasant-seeming people who just don’t have the best social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:19 AM
2

Woah there, how did we get from “toxic” to “violent drug addict”?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:00 AM
0

He was not a jerk to men he actually got close to. That seemed to be sort of a “wall” he put up with guys he didn’t know very well. I’m not saying it was okay — I think it’s important to treat everyone well, and that was something we did have some discussions about. But the point is nobody is perfect, and the toxic/non-toxic dichotomy is often flawed and doesn’t show the whole picture. I can guarantee somebody thinks you’re “toxic,” and same for myself. But that’s also not going to be everybody’…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 09:55 PM
2

He wasn’t “making an exception” just for me though. He was kind to others too… his family, my family, even the rare friend who was willing to hang in there past the “I’m a tough guy, let’s insult each other” stage and get close enough to actually know him. Those guys, he’d do anything for. I was speaking of casual gaming buddies thinking he was a jerk — not men who actually got to know him well, there just weren’t many of them. Hence “you don’t really know unless it’s a close friend.” If you thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:57 PM
13

I know what you mean, but I haven’t found men to necessarily be the best judge of other men’s character when it comes to how they’re going to interact with a woman. Because my college boyfriend’s gaming buddies thought he was a total jerk — and when I saw how he behaved with them, I understood. He was rude and abrupt, not very conversant unless to talk shit to somebody. But with me, he was very kind, attentive, gentle… sometimes overly so to the point I had to be like “it’s okay, I don’t need he…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:06 PM
32

Well if a “toxic” guy didn’t have a girlfriend, would you know he was toxic (at least in the sense of toxic behavior within a relationship)? Probably not, you hear about it because someone complained. Same reason you don’t hear about all the not-toxic guys having girlfriends — nobody is complaining about them. But if you look at it another way, many of the guys here who complain about not being able to get a girlfriend sound pretty toxic. It’s just that everyone has a bias toward thinking of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 08:41 AM
12

Hobbies are great, but the truth is many adults have things they enjoy doing and would like to have as more regular hobbies, but simply don’t have the bandwidth for them on top of work and responsibilities. Like yes, I need someone who has interests that are compatible enough with mine that we can have good conversations, and I also need someone who is open to new experiences and likes to have fun when possible. But I don’t care if they have something that can be strictly defined as a “hobby,” n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:25 PM
1

I did not mean that this applies to ALL men. What I’m saying is that pretty much everyone finds young-ish people most attractive, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the guys who perv on teens and preteens and say things like “women expire at 25 (or younger)” contribute to a stigma. Because let’s face it, pedophilic tendencies are not exactly rare among men… the Epstein scandal has revealed to everyone that when men have enough wealth and power to get away with anything, a non-insignificant…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 09:34 PM
4

Aha thank you, I was just thinking that was probably the case after I left the comment, then I thought “well I’m sure if it is, someone will correct me.” 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:51 PM
-1

I don’t think men are really judged for just “finding younger women more attractive.” Because I mean we all know that younger people, in the sense of “adults who aren’t showing visible signs of getting old yet,” tend to look better than older people. Women also find younger men more attractive in this sense — fitter body, full head of hair, no sagging skin. It’s the obsession with extreme youth, the fact that we all know these men only start at “18” because any younger isn’t legal, the fact we a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:41 PM
9

How you would even arrive at “from just this 30% of women, every man should have had sex with at least 3 different women,” from the data available… well, definitely need to show your work on that math problem. All your stats seem to suggest is that about 30% of French women are Chadettes. That’s kind of a nice name, actually, and appropriately French-sounding. But without any data on French men’s body counts, we can’t conclude anything about Chadé.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:43 PM
1

There isn’t any significant difference between a woman approaching a guy and sending him huge choosing signals. Those “choosing signals” are often not “huge” (this once again depends on the woman), and many guys struggle to distinguish friendliness and flirting. I was trying to add nuance to this subject, not telling men to chase after women who give them nothing in terms of signs of interest, “You’re looking for reciprocal interest,” because OP wasn’t clear on what he meant by “chasing.” It sou…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:06 PM
5

it’s not moral or fair, it just is what it is. If only men here kept even a fraction of the same energy for women preferring more attractive, taller, and more financially stable men. But of course instead you chose to compare it to “Beta Bux being mad about women finding assholes attractive,” in order to straw man women’s preferences and the men who complain about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:54 AM
1

women send body language signals to them telling them an approach is welcomed … just endless examples of how differently women treat those guys I’m talking about women approaching and why it’s generally not smart for men to wait for that. You’re talking about… women finding attractive men attractive. We’re not even on the same page here. No one is talking about you So only women who confirm your beliefs count?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:36 AM
1

Did you miss “looks and being attractive to the opposite sex are not everything”? I’m saying sometime between 25-50 tends to be people’s overall prime (including things like financial stability). We know men find “18”-25 most attractive, but that’s not all women care about in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:20 AM
-1

This is a goomba fallacy. I never said “no women ever approach men,” or “men never get approached.” How many single women noticed your friend and did not approach? Hard telling, but I’m sure more than did. When I was young I never, ever would’ve cold approached a guy, especially not one who I thought was out of my league. Only reason I ever grew a pair of metaphorical balls was because I’m bi and also wanted to date women, who are, you guessed it, far less likely to make the first move. Still de…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:48 PM
3

Most average people (men and women) peak in terms of looks in their 20s. Attractive people who take care of themselves tend to plateau in their 30s (neither improve nor lose their looks), and some folks who were either obese in their 20s or have a lot more money (and the desire to improve their appearance) do peak in their 30s instead. But most gain some weight, men lose hair, people are more focused on their families and careers than looks (and that’s okay). A decline is inevitable in one’s 40s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:01 PM
–

So… 71% of surveyed French women aged 25-29 have had sex with fewer than 10 men. (France is generally thought of as more sexually open country, so these numbers are a bit more conservative than I’d have guessed.) 92% of women have never been to a sex party or similar event in their entire life. (That’s the vast majority… not sure why you’d even bother citing this stat.) 60-75% of couples still meet in person. (I would not say “no one uses online dating,” but a majority still apparently meet the …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 10:38 PM
–

For whatever reason, I’ve been experiencing a lot more of this sort of approach lately than I ever did while young and single (go figure), and the answer is it makes me feel a little awkward because rejecting people is awkward. (I’m married so there’s no question of if I’m interested or not.) It’s not inappropriate and I’m not upset by it, however, and my main goal is to be polite as long as he’s being polite. I honestly prefer this sort of approach over the more vague situations where it’s kind…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 10:17 PM
1

So two things are true here. First, no, you cannot make someone who’s not interested interested by chasing them. But second, plenty of women will never make the first move even if they ARE interested. More will now than in the past, but many won’t, either because they don’t think it’s a good idea, or because they are more shy and there are enough men who will make the first move they don’t have to. Generally you’re looking for reciprocal interest vs just her showing interest out of nowhere. So, …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 04:04 PM
5

If “women can’t really abuse men,” why did you just claim that gen z women abuse men more than the other way around? Do you really think it’s cool to call male abuse victims pussies? Do you not see how this type of thinking is exactly why male victims get dismissed? Yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 05:05 PM
18

Every one of your “sources” is a screenshot of some social media post and show only a very slight difference between men and women. People usually link to academic papers for their sources here. Didn’t see any for the “more likely to abuse men and hate them” which I’d say is probably pretty important to have solid evidence backing it up. It’s very easy to lie with statistics which is why we need to be able to see things like sample sizes and methods.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 12:20 PM
38

But gen z men are more likely to own a pet monkey, chew tobacco, and sell their souls to the devil. They’re also more likely to turn into werewolves on the full moon and pilfer leftovers from their neighbors’ fridge. What’s fun is you can just say anything you want when there’s no citation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 08:03 AM
6

TRP contains just enough truth to sell the bullshit. The good parts are basically just re-packaged self-help advice that’s been around forever. The rest is a confirmation bias extravaganza that feeds off the insecurity and anger of struggling men in order to line the pockets of grifters. I mean just think a minute, if women were the ones red pilling men, why would red pill content creators need to sell you their “secrets”? Why would they need to pay sex workers and clout chasers to come on their…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:47 PM
4

My beef is okay, if you want to claim the pay gap is women’s fault and not a result of systemic issues, please do not turn around and claim that boys and men falling behind in education is a systemic problem and not their own fault. Because imo there ARE systemic issues involved in boys and men falling behind, but we’re comparing a few decades of education being (arguably) more suited to girls, to… an entire history of women being kept out of education and fairly paying jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:18 PM
1

A lot of men do shit test their partners, but yeah, definitely more obviously with other men (at least as far as I’m gaining an understanding of what shit testing is). Like trying to establish some sort of social pecking order by giving each other a hard time? Women do this with each other too I’d say, but it’s a lot more subtle and just different.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:06 PM
8

Yeah it seems to have something to do with testing boundaries and gauging reactions, but… it’s not like men don’t do this all the time? So not sure why the term “shit testing” is considered women’s behavior. And half the time it just seems to mean “she did something I didn’t like.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 02:54 AM
10

The difference for me is that I know exactly what “negging” is and have seen many consistent, concise definitions for and examples of it. But I have seen the term “shit testing” used a million times, and still am not entirely sure what it actually is. Every example seems different and usually don’t make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 02:36 AM
1

This is more of an individual thing than a gender thing. Some women have low standards, some men have low standards. Overall what I’ve noticed is that women are more likely to express higher standards online than most have irl. For men, it’s a mixed bag, with some bragging about their low standards and others also bragging about higher standards than most really have.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:31 PM
6

The menstrual cycle absolutely does not get talked about enough. All the debate over if women have responsive or spontaneous desire, if most women’s sex drives are low or high is moot without understanding that usually both are true for the same woman depending on the time of the month. It’s like everyone forgets humans are mammals.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:07 PM
4

It makes a lot of sense to me that the less pressure people feel to marry and get into relationships, the better those will be. So I believe it’s very, very possible. The only thing I’d question here is the fact that most millennials haven’t been married as long as most gen x. Marriages rarely get better over time, either they’re going to stay the same or get worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:50 PM
3

Same could easily be said for men. Seems to be a post here every week about why men shouldn’t get married, yet men still keep getting married. Of course the obvious reason is because the men and women saying “don’t get married” aren’t the same ones getting married. Or they already got married and are saying it in hindsight.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:41 PM
5

My observations have been that usually, family and friends and even the person themselves “had a bad feeling all along” after it becomes obvious. But never said anything/didn’t break it off at the time because they did not actually know. All the little yellow flags they saw at the time turn red if things go sour, but if they don’t go sour, they are forgotten. Of course what you’re talking about does happen, I just don’t think it’s the most common pattern.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:32 PM
10

It tends to be more obvious to women when a woman is an abuser or narcissist too, but not so much to men, and if she’s hot and flatters them they will generally be entirely blind to it. It’s always easier to identify in your own gender and when you’re an unbiased observer. However, it’s also important to note that “we don’t know what we don’t know.” When we get a bad feeling about someone and we turn out to be correct, we remember that. But how about all the other times we had a bad feeling, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:16 PM
22

Nobody introduces themselves as an abuser or a narcissist. These traits generally don’t become evident until it’s difficult to leave for some reason (you have children together, you live together and are broke, your career has been sabotaged). It is now much easier for women to leave shitty men, and more are. But it’s rarely ever easy for anyone to leave an abusive relationship, regardless of gender. Abusive women operate the same way, and men get stuck for the same reasons. The baby trap, the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:25 PM
22

This is the real answer. Unfortunately, filtering for serious users and making matches isn’t as profitable as shitty apps that give the illusion of infinite options and work just barely well enough to keep people coming back and trying again and again. Perfect example of “enshittification,” profit > quality of user experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:22 AM
–

There’s no “meant to be” or “end goal” in the sense of conscious intention when it comes to nature. We perceive evolution to have a purpose (survival) from our perspective, but really it just… is what it is. However, this also means nature doesn’t “care” if our species continues, either. I think it’s likely we are in a “correction” cycle where population growth slows. But do I think we will die out (short of some major catastrophe)? No, not at all. There are over eight billion of us on the plane…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 10:25 AM
-3

create a fake post on reddit of some man who gets scammed by a woman who is way out of his league vs a woman who gets pumped and dumped by a man who is out of her league Apples to oranges again. In one case you have an obvious scammer, in one you have a likely less obvious case of deceit. People do not have much sympathy for obese old ladies who think some fit 30 yr old African guy wants to marry them. Unless you think “sympathy” is seeing them as rather pathetic and delusional. Perhaps women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:55 PM
0

I thought you were implying that men are going to avoid this trap but women fall for similar traps with attractive men. Which obviously is not the case. I’ve witnessed both men and women get scammed like your example, and people respond about the same to both. Pretend they don’t know when it’s happening, but gossip behind their backs. Offer sympathy when the person figures it out, but once again gossip behind their backs saying they should’ve known. But when we’re talking about a more common “pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 08:17 PM
3

Well that blonde will have NO trouble at all finding victims. Most men have zero sense of self-preservation if they’re getting attention from an attractive woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:03 PM
2

Haha yes, my thoughts exactly. “Women cannot possibly tell that I secretly hate them” butttt… “Women should psychically vet men before they meet so they don’t have to make those men wait for sex.” Mkay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:44 PM
2

No self-respecting 35+ man is going to care what some guy on the internet thinks about what arbitrary deadline he should set for sex. Even assuming she’s “holding out on sex” misses my point. Not all men are in a huge rush to have sex with whoever they’re dating. Not all men are paranoid they’re being taken advantage of if peepee doesn’t go in hole by a certain date. And my point is most women are better off dating men who don’t feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:40 PM
3

There’s nothing wrong with sex on the third date if both people are ready and that’s what happens, but there’s also nothing magical about the third date where it has to happen or she’s going to friendzone you. You have the right to decide you don’t want to wait past the third date if that’s how you feel about it; women also have the right to select for men who do wait past then if they want. Personally, I simply wouldn’t be interested in a guy who is dead set on having sex on the third date beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:19 AM
3

Unless the economy were really booming somehow, you’d end up with more “exceptions” than not. And also more people opting out of having kids entirely so they can support their parents and save money for their own retirement, having the opposite of the intended effect. Nobody wants to gamble all their money on raising a bunch of kids who may or may not be able and willing to support them in their old age, especially if they know there isn’t a solid safety net.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 02:35 AM
1

Men who behave like this are living in their own little fantasy land, otherwise they wouldn’t do it. Whether they really believe they will catch the attention of the OF girl and live happily ever after, or just enjoy doing what they do for their own reasons, it’s hard to say. But either way, they are not going to listen to you because they’re not operating from the same wavelength as most of us. I would venture a guess many are older and only understand the internet enough to get themselves in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:09 AM
6

Yes exactly. If I have to choose between taking care of my elderly parents not receiving social security and having kids of my own, I’m 100% choosing my parents who already exist and need help over hypothetical kids who do not yet exist. This is a horrible idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:45 PM
4

Kids aren’t even remotely close to a retirement plan. There are: infertile people, people who will never meet a suitable partner in time to have children, people whose children will pass away before them, people with disabled children, people whose children will grow up to be losers despite their best efforts, people whose children won’t be wiling to support them, and most of all, people whose children will try their best but still not be well-off enough be able to support themselves, their own …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:41 PM
4

Where did I say anything about “I like you romantically but not sexually”? You can like each other romantically AND sexually, go on dates that are called dates, kiss, flirt, etc., but not jump in bed until you get to know each other a bit. This is normal dating for most people. Not sure where this concept that you can’t possibly want to have sex with somebody and not immediate do so comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:28 PM
–

There are also a hell of a lot of medically obese men who don’t even know they’re fat and are shocked when they doctor tells them so, who talk shit about fat women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:27 PM
5

Because even if a woman is bad in bed, it’s likely the guy is still going to get off and will not be afraid or in pain at any point. The same can’t always be said of men who are bad in bed. So we’re looking at the difference between mild disappointment and a potentially very negative experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:47 PM
3

Not enough info to determine how good either actually is with money, so probably neither. First one doesn’t seem to really know anything. Second one is in hustle mode so probably has an ulterior motive, like he’s going to try to get me to sign up with his house-flipping company for some kind of financial incentive. He’ll make money off it, I won’t. This must be an attempt to compare taking “blue pill” dating advice from women and attractive men to taking “red pill” advice from struggling men. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:42 PM
4

Men get friendzoned by acting like just a friend. Not by dating a woman and making romantic intentions clear but not pushing for sex immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:29 PM
–

Switzerland recently voted to uphold the dehumanizing military draft, only for men. WOMEN voted on this. “On November 30, 2025, Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected (84.15% against) a initiative to introduce mandatory national service for both men and women, commonly referred to as the "Civic Duty Initiative". The proposal sought to replace the current male-only conscription with a, universal, inclusive service for all citizens, which was heavily defeated.” So, it looks like no longer having a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:05 PM
15

All this about “vetting” a man before even dating him (as if that’s practically possible in most cases), when the truth is that the best way to “vet” is just not to have sex with a guy right away. Better yet, to choose the guy who doesn’t try for sex right away. They always make it sound like every man is immediately trying to jump into bed with every woman he dates and may or may not be willing to be “made to wait,” but this is simply untrue in my experience. When a man views you as a valuable …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 02:26 AM
–

If it were simply a matter of being unhappy that some feminists belittle men, I don’t see why OP would have added “exclusively benefits women” and “he hardly gets anything out of the whole deal,” “women reap most of the benefits.” And the “belittling” he’s referring to is women asking men to educate themselves about feminism. He clearly thinks that feminism should benefit men and that it’s unreasonable and rude for women to request men to educate themselves on feminism. Now imagine if this were …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 01:36 AM
–

While I’d say sometimes modern feminism can be unnecessarily hostile toward men (it’s an extremely diverse movement encompassing a full spectrum of attitudes), there is no reason why feminism has to benefit men in order to be valid. My support for the rights of racial minorities and gay men, for example, does not directly benefit me in any way, nor does it need to. If my support were contingent on these individuals catering to my wishes, well that would not really be support, and I would not exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 10:01 PM
2

Ah yes, forgot the term for us “don’t ask-ers” (guess culture), thank you! My mom was so deep into guess culture that she’d actually warn us “oh that family just asks when they want something, watch out,” because apparently, saying “no” was such a taboo that it was better to avoid ask culture people entirely.lol I still don’t believe in putting people on the spot, but “guess culture” is actually pretty hard on neurodivergent people like me since I really don’t do well with hints. So adopting som…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:50 PM
5

He’s a picky eater. Not a huge deal most of the time, but I actively love a lot of veggies he hates, and would like to be able to mix them into certain recipes instead of having to eat them separately. But on the flip side, he has some Mexican family members and showed me what real Mexican food is. I haven’t made the shell of disappointment that is a white people taco ever since, so it’s not all bad on the food front. He’s an “asker,” I am not (different upbringings). This means he feels comfort…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 02:11 PM
4

Sometimes you have to commit adultery. Nope. If you feel like you “have to commit adultery,” the marriage is over and you should leave. If the issue is simply one partner having zero interest in sex for reasons that have nothing to do with a relationship problem (like hormonal issues) but you still love each other, an open marriage might be a solution, but that needs to be discussed well before anything happens. But if you are honest and open from the get go, they will know that you won’t go beh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 12:49 PM
1

I’d say usually, that means “I don’t want the guy I like to think I’m a slut and ‘sex-zone’ me, I want to know we’re in a relationship first.” But waiting 90 days to kiss isn’t something I’ve heard of before.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 05:49 AM
-1

I mean that’s why he’s an ex and why you’re even dating these women in the first place. This only proves that a) a significant number of men are this way, b) at least some of those men can get into relationships. Not that it “keeps attraction high,” otherwise, you wouldn’t be dating these women because they’d still be together. Men who behave this way tend to behave this way in every aspect of life, not just dating. It’s usually narcissistic personality disorder, which is something women can als…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 11:19 PM
2

It’s pretty rare for a man to be shorter than a woman, as men are on average about 5” taller. Attractive tall women will sometimes date shorter men, for example, Zendaya and Tom Holland. Models dating men shorter than them is not particularly rare since they are tall women. It’s just rare to find a man who’s shorter than the average woman because the average woman is only 5’4”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 10:47 PM
1

I thought you meant “lights out” as in she fell asleep, because as a 30 yr old woman, that’s my reaction to Twilight.lol I did enjoy the Outlander series, although I probably wouldn’t have watched/read if not for my mom and aunt (60s) recommending. The show is beautifully filmed and acted, the novels are pretty well-written, and characters and storylines are more complex than what you’d normally see in the romance genre. I know many women my age DO enjoy Twilight and 50 Shades, so I’m not saying…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 10:38 PM
2

I find the women’s romance novel trope you describe boring and reductive too. But yes, the difference is media “for women” has generally not been considered “mainstream” in the same way, and tends to be regarded unseriously and mocked. I think modern audiences of both genders would appreciate more interesting characters and storylines tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 10:21 PM
2

My husband is 5’10”, which isn’t short at all but is average, and if he could take a pill to be say 6’2” I would legit prefer he not. I’m an average height woman and prefer not to tower over someone in heels, but also not to have them towering over me in flats (although I’ve dated all heights and never cared that much).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 07:34 PM
11

I think you may be correct, or Twilight, which 50 Shades was based on. Only difference I would note is that those are very much marketed as unrealistic fantasies (and relentlessly mocked). Manic pixie dream girl stories, not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 06:16 PM
–

That’s not a normal viewpoint for a straight or bi woman to take. Some women don’t like giving oral just like some men don’t, but if “interacting with a penis in any capacity” is gross, I suspect they’re probably in the closet. Trans men exist, butch lesbians exist, they have options they would likely be happier with if they’d do some self-reflection. Either that or you didn’t listen and extrapolated “interacting with a penis is gross” from “I find giving a man oral gross,” which are two differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:59 PM
15

Women are more likely to prefer tall men vs short men, but no, women do not “only like tall men.” I prefer average, personally. And plenty of actors are short. (We’re talking about Hollywood tropes here after all.)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:48 PM
76

I don’t think the issue is men liking the idea of a non-threatening but exciting woman who sweeps them up… that part seems quite benign and totally understandable really. It’s the fact that Hollywood only seems to have/used to have a few tropes for women, this being one of them, and that these characters usually are not very fleshed out and seem to only exist to develop the male character. As a one-off thing, doubt anyone would’ve ever had an issue with it… it’s more of a fatigue in regard to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:30 PM
10

I agree they should move (they never will because they actually enjoy the benefits of living in a more progressive country despite the whining). However, these guys are not the reason red states have outlawed abortion… most are too lazy to even vote. Notice how republicans have “thought abortion was murder” forever, but couldn’t seem to do anything about it until the elites started getting worried about low birth rates and not having enough young blood to feed the labor and war machines. These p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:51 PM
9

Both people should be capable of both earning money and taking care of themselves, agree there. But that doesn’t necessarily mean splitting everything 50/50, it’s okay for one partner to work more outside the home and one to work more inside the home. I just strongly believe every adult should have some of their own income, and every adult should be able to feed themselves and clean up after themselves. Beyond that, however they want to divide labor and bills is up to the individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:06 PM
1

Well like I said, having “high standards” doesn’t make them automatically unreasonable. Because people have different standards, so just because your standard rules out most people doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get someone who meets it, so long as you don’t have too many high standards or a very small dating pool. There are a lot of variables involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:04 AM
1

There are no standard definitions, and that’s part of the issue, but for sake of argument I would say: low = includes/doesn’t automatically exclude >75% people in one’s general age group, high = automatically excludes >75% of people in one’s general age group, reasonable = includes people one is actually able to date. (So, a standard can be both high and reasonable or low and unreasonable depending on one’s own level of desirability.) Most people’s standards on paper are high, men and women alik…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:02 PM
9

While this is certainly a real phenomenon (where people think a certain group of individuals holds contradictory views but they’re really different people espousing those views), in this case, I think they really are a lot of the same men. Because they’ll say things like “she ‘just’ has to not be x, y, and z” as if they aren’t ruling out a huge chunk of the female population. And they’re sensitive to how some women’s “reasonable” standards (like being 6ft+) actually rule out most men, but don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:08 PM
5

My favorite is always “because women do not care that I’m not getting laid, I will not care if they have human rights or not.” Sure dude, that’s really helping your case that people should “have empathy” for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:22 PM
1

It affords you some advantages over men without money and women without money who are considered undesirable “products.” It doesn’t afford you any power over men or women who have money.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 04:02 PM
4

Tired of people acting like “sexual power” is the same as real power. “Sexual power” makes you a more desirable product, that is all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 02:38 AM
1

I never thought it was so terrible. At least not what the internet makes it sound like. Was over five years ago that I was last dating, don’t know if things have changed that drastically in this amount of time or not. But overall, I believe that both men and women face significant challenges in dating, but for just normal folks trying to date normal folks… it’s not the hellscape portrayed in online spaces. It’s cohabitation that tends to be rough, and although I’m happily married now, I probably…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 11:54 PM
1

That is something I can’t answer for other people, too many variables and individual comfort levels. One thing I would say though is I think it’s often best to “get physical” in terms of things like kissing, breaking the “touch barrier” sooner rather than later, but hold off on sex. Builds anticipation, establishes the relationship as romantic/sexual in nature without rushing things.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:11 PM
1

There’s a lot of space in between “be platonic friends for months or years before turning romantic” and “meet on an app, hook up, date after.” Don’t get me wrong — both of those are ways relationships sometimes start and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But dating itself is the process of getting to know someone so you can figure out if you’d like to be in a relationship with that person. You don’t have to be friends before dating, and you don’t have to jump straight into sex or commi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:01 AM
1

That Skibidi Toilet ‘n chill? Idk, sometimes I get the sinking feeling that I’m discussing adult matters with non-adults on this sub, and this is one of those moments so… g’day.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:33 PM
19

To the men who think women only want money, did you ever just hand us your wallets? If you were to just hand it over and get it out of the way maybe I’d have time to have more thoughts. I’m also assuming this means you don’t care about body count then? *Respectfully, of course
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:42 PM
–

Concealing any emotion takes social skills. Socializing can be rough for me as a neurodivergent person because it’s hard for me to conceal when I’m bored or overwhelmed and wanna go home. It’s not some magical “female intuition,” it’s just human perception. Everyone has the ability to sense patterns and pick up on subtext. Another error here is thinking cheaters and abusers are necessarily bitter woman-haters. Usually, they are just selfish and narcissistic. Same with female cheaters and abusers…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 03:45 PM
7

You get to keep everything you’ve already earned though. You don’t have to sell your house, your car, and give that and any savings back to your employer because you quit. You can also put your old job on your resume, you can’t put “mom” on your resume.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 01:23 PM
1

Does it really make much difference though? Either way it’s getting removed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 02:26 AM
2

The difference isn’t relevance since both pertain to dogs, but volume of posts. If the sub started to get inundated with posts asking about leash training, they’d also have a reason to start removing those too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:37 AM
3

Yes it does, because for example if I go to a sub about dogs to ask a question about leash training and the sub is full of a majority of posts from dog breeders advertising their puppies, I’m probably not going to even post there. That’s what the sub is now, regardless of the original intent. So this sub might choose to ban posts from dog breeders to prevent this happening… even if they originally were okay with having some posts like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:26 PM
2

Oh man, escorts? Hiring escorts is the opposite of social proof and a very common ick/dealbreaker. Like I do understand if he is just way too nervous for his first time and wants to secretly gain some experience with a pro, but as much as I hate to say it, he is better off taking that to the grave. As I said before, effort doesn’t automatically equal value. Eating 50 hotdogs in one sitting is difficult, but not attractive. This sort of advice is basically the equivalent of a woman telling her fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 09:37 PM
1

Social proof and pre-selection, yes to some extent, but it’s about quality vs quantity. If anything, women are looking at the quality of women a man has been with… dating a woman who women consider attractive or admire raises a man’s perceived value. Indiscriminately sleeping around does not, and lowers his value in the eyes of low n women. Because yes it may be “harder for men to get hookups,” but a man having a high body count can point to him having low standards and just being a horndog just…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 08:39 PM
2

What, specifically, do you think he’s right about? Because someone can be “not wrong about a lot of things” (at least in one person’s view) but wrong about a whole lot of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:49 PM
9

I have been banned from multiple subreddits simply for being in other subreddits. Had many a post on the most mundane topics removed simply for not using quite the right format or not having enough karma. All of us have — that’s Reddit. Sometimes it’s annoying, sometimes it’s unfair, but sometimes that’s what it takes to keep whole subreddits from being banned or taken over by a certain type of person/content. In this case, a venting sub could gradually turn into a “dating woes for men” sub and …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 04:51 PM
13

But the point of the documentary was to explore who is influencing young men, for better or worse, not to gather the best possible dating and self-improvement advice. To include men who “aren’t necessarily in the Manosphere” wouldn’t make sense for a documentary about the manosphere, and kinda says something about the manosphere if you think the best choices are perhaps not exactly part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 04:16 AM
16

the most over the top and clownish voices in the Manosphere. Myron Gaines, Sneako, Tikky Tokky, etc. Those are some pretty well-known names with a wide reach. Do you not think they’re relevant and influential on young men? Who would you have preferred he interview instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:34 AM
0

Because assortive mating still fails some men. Exceptions don’t disprove the rule. I’m not saying there’s definitely “someone for everyone,” some people will always get left behind, but rather “most people tend to end up with someone fairly similar to them in terms of looks, socioeconomic status, lifestyle.” Women are overwhelmingly not marrying/dating men leagues above them in any metric. Define “lame”? Because yes if a woman can only get men SHE thinks are lame, she will stay single. Women gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:17 AM
2

I just would like men to stop joining in on conversations that they might not actually wish to participate in just to gain approval from other men. Like I don’t think there’s necessarily anything so awful about talking about your partners’ bad driving habits if it’s true, but there’s a decent chance that at least one of those guys does not have a girlfriend who drives badly, and still threw her under the bus for bro points. That’s the part that sucks. So yeah, I would not expect a man to step in…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 07:55 PM
1

Yes, it’s assortive mating basically. But these guys often seem to reject the idea of assortive mating and try to claim that ALL women only want the best men. When really, everybody of both genders wants the “best” they can reasonably get, and whatever “best” means to them, specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 07:29 PM
4

I’ve pondered this one too. I’ve seen some justifications for it like “drug dealers have money,” but… I think it ultimately comes down to “women only go for men who are aren’t me.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 04:17 PM
2

I mean it’s better to be the mistress in this scenario because it’s easier to get away from him completely, assuming the mistress does not also have kids with him. But better yet not to be involved with this man at all. Because even if the mistress isn’t as burdened by him, she’s still getting used by him and wasting time on him, and who wants that?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:52 PM
3

This phenomenon is in no way unique to “feminists.” To use your own examples, many times men will try to claim the achievements and sacrifices of all men throughout history (“men work more dangerous jobs,” “men built society”), but they certainly do not wish to claim the actions of rapists and murders, then it is “not all men!” Likewise, they will use men’s higher suicide rates as evidence of oppression, but if someone brings up women’s higher rates of suicide attempts, that must be evidence of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:21 AM
–

There’s nothing wrong or weird about it imo, as a bi woman I find a lot of trans people hot just like I find a lot of cis people hot. But I do think it’s linked to MAGA’s increasing hate towards trans women, unfortunately. Some of these folks (mostly men) are entirely too obsessed with less than 1% of the population, to the point they’re accusing cis women celebs of being trans like some sort of witch hunt. And just like with homophobia often stemming from closeted homosexuality, I suspect many …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 07:45 AM
15

I’ve never had anyone automatically respect a boundary I set. Ever. Not a man, not a woman, not a kid, not the fucking dog. Nobody likes anyone else’s boundaries or to hear the word “no.” Especially men in my experience, but I’m sure it goes both ways. You have to accept that you cannot control other people’s reactions to your boundaries and be willing to lose the people who consistently push them, that’s just how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 12:19 AM
11

I’m sorry, but you really think most of those guys are going to be satisfied only getting to sleep with one of the VS models? No way. The only difference is it won’t be so much a matter of whose VS model is “better,” it’ll be a matter of “I’d be happy with any of these women, but I’ll be trying my damnedest to sleep with ALL of them at some point.” Each man will be thrilled at first, then he’ll get bored and his eye will start wandering, he’ll create a “rough patch” in his relationship so he can…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:18 PM
10

A bit perhaps, but not nearly to enough of a degree as to warrant the sort of comments she got. If a man posted “you can call me doctor,” I’m sure he’d get some “bro you’re not an MD so I won’t call you that” comments, but not “Your testicles are shriveling up as we speak, nobody cares about your worthless degree.”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:43 PM
4

First off, there’s a difference between independence and arrogance. I also find arrogant people who are always claiming others are “intimidated” by them obnoxious, men and women alike. However, most independent women do not act like this. Most women these days are in fact independent and just… living their lives. I also don’t feel the need to put anyone “in their place” even if I find them to be tooting their own horn a bit too much. I just ignore people like that and don’t date or befriend them…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:37 PM
10

Nah, I literally know zero single moms or sociable older women who stayed single for long. The women who struggle to date are those who have at least 2 of these four traits: unattractive face, severely obese, homebody lifestyle, “difficult” personality/set in their ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:17 PM
6

I don’t know, this seems like a pretty close-knit community compared to what other people might consider to be a community, and when you’re talking about people who you see nearly every day, there are valid reasons not to date them. Does this mean it won’t still happen? Not at all… people date (and unfortunately, have affairs with) their coworkers all the time, despite the fact if you asked, most people would say they don’t think dating coworkers is a good idea. There definitely could be a gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:57 PM
1

You’re absolutely correct. The whole “men don’t care about income so wealthy men will marry a pretty McDonald’s worker” is a completely false exaggeration based on the fact that many men will marry women who make less money than they do. But they still absolutely care about status and education. The doctor will marry the nurse, but he will not marry the McDonald’s worker. He might hook up with her, but won’t even introduce her to his parents or friends. The investment banker’s wife might now run…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:00 PM
32

There’s a lot more on the physical side they don’t think about too. Like there are many young, slim, non-promiscuous and childless women who are: facially unattractive, flat chested, have short legs, have bad teeth, have bad skin, have bad hair… but these traits can’t be moralized in the same way so don’t get talked about. The reality is a physically unattractive, more reserved woman will have a much harder time dating than an attractive, bubbly 40yr old former party girl with two kids. Ultimate…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:39 PM
1

Depends on why and what the arrangement looks like. If it wasn’t his fault, like he became disabled, then yes. “In sickness and in health.” I can’t really see my actual husband not wanting to work for any other reason, but hypothetically… If I happened to get a fantastic job and he no longer needed to work, and he was happy to take on all the household responsibilities, then also yes. If he’s unemployed and not really looking for another job, and I’m still doing most of the household labor or ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:55 AM
2

I don’t care for how the “blue pill” tends to downplay the importance of looks, for both men and women. It’s hard to really pin down “blue pill ideology” since it doesn’t actually exist in a concrete sense, and often is just whatever red pillers straw man it to be. But mainstream advice does usually seem to avoid the topic of just how much looks matter in dating and life in general. Black pillers tend to fixate on looks too much at the expense of everything else, while I’d say red pillers have i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:19 AM
20

This is like saying men have the “backup option” of dangerous physical labor jobs and therefore easier lives. Because technically, both men and women can do sex work, both men and women can do physical labor, but women and men are more likely to be successful in one vs the other, respectively. Both can be lucrative, but both also have significant risks and aren’t “easy money.” Or we could take it a completely different direction and say because women are the ones who get pregnant and give birth …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:44 AM
21

If you don’t wish to interact with women, you don’t have to outside of work-related interactions. Nobody is asking you to, and you don’t need permission to stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:05 AM
18

I’d say generally speaking, specifically seeking out age gaps of more than 5yrs or so isn’t the brightest idea, whether you’re a man or woman, going older or younger. Divorce stats suggest the larger the gap, the higher the chance of divorce, and you have to consider how you’re going to feel about the gap in the future for long-term relationships (for example, do you want to be married to someone in their 60s when you’re in your 40s, will you be inclined to cheat?) However, age gaps are only rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 10:12 PM
3

These comments prove many men don’t understand (or want to understand) the difference between taking some initiative and boundary pushing. Even if you do encounter a woman who says “no” when she means “yes,” leave that girl alone. She either isn’t that into you or is playing games and will bring you nothing but drama. Interesting how men here are always going on about “genuine desire” and fear of “false accusations,” but a “yes” is asking too much?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:06 PM
3

So I’m seeing two possibilities here. One is that you are with a very high-maintenance woman, and the other is that you don’t really like your partner so spending quality time feels like a chore. Because relationships take maintenance, but it really shouldn’t be this stressful. When you’re in a relationship, usually you’re planning dates together, you already have a good idea of each other’s likes and dislikes, usually some go-to dates that fit your lifestyle, budget, and preferences. There isn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 03:00 PM
6

Umm what exactly do these dates entail that they need to be planned so far in advance? Because I can’t think of anything short of an actual vacation that needs to be planned weeks or months ahead of time. Maybe going to a concert or play, but that’s generally something a couple would plan together.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:10 PM
3

No. Awkward and difficult to navigate, yes (regardless of his appearance), offensive, no, not unless his behavior is offensive. Same way I’m not typically going to be offended if someone gives me a sales pitch, but trying to strike a balance between not shutting them down too soon and being rude nor entertaining them too long and wasting their time, can be tricky and uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:26 AM
0

No I don’t want to “put women in college ahead of men,” I don’t think that people should have to compete with each other for scholarships just to be able to afford an education without massive debt in the first place. However, I don’t think the one single metric of college attendance can measure the equality of a society. I’m not saying there aren’t societal factors that might discourage men from going to college, but there’s also nothing keeping them from going if they have the desire to. Like …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:03 AM
1

Of course, but we’re talking about kids here. Their judgment is often very poor, and they’re not going to see it for what it is until they’re already in trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 07:06 AM
3

Consistent with previous research, (predominantly adult) males were responsible for most sexual offenses before police. Females were responsible for 12.2% of all offenses over this period, with juvenile females (10–17 years) implicated in a significant proportion (10.2%) of all offenses. In fact, juvenile females were responsible for the majority of assaultive CSAM offenses, whereas juvenile males mostly perpetrated offline child sexual abuse offenses. Where are you getting “women commit the vas…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 04:43 AM
42

SA does not always involve physically overpowering someone. Even many male perpetrators prefer to slip something into a drink, act opportunistically on someone who’s already intoxicated, use manipulation to gain outward “consent,” etc. Many also choose to prey on children, who are smaller and weaker than women, or commit statutory rape by grooming a teen. These are all things women are capable of (and some do), yet don’t choose to do in as large of numbers as men. Same for gun violence — it does…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:48 PM
18

There is a lot of insidious regressive influence coming from right-wing interests disguised as “pink pill feminism” and “feminine energy” right now imho. It lures in young women because it sounds good — who wouldn’t want to have their cake and eat it too, ya know? Just be “in your divine feminine receiving energy” and get taken care of! But it’s dangerous because that’s not how the world works. If you give someone the power to feed you, you give them the power to starve you. And sadly, both thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 09:08 AM
3

Generally no, but I cannot excuse Bonnie Blue when she traveled to a foreign country to have sex with underage boys and frequently goes after barely legal “men.” That’s predatory behavior, and she’s publicly celebrating it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 01:33 AM
5

Except they totally are, in a metaphorical sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 01:28 AM
–

Wait, wouldn’t more men getting better looking make attractive men less scarce and therefore decrease their market value? Wouldn’t this be a win/win situation as more men become desirable and more women can find a desirable man? But I guess this is coming from someone who doesn’t know the difference between “throne” and “thrown,” so…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 10:30 PM
–

Yep. Now to be clear, sexual incompatibility and retroactive jealous ARE valid reasons to break up — you don’t even need to justify your choice to break up with someone. If you’re not happy, move on. But you do have to take accountability for that choice. Your partner is not doing something immoral by refusing, regardless of if they did it before or not. This “if you did it before then it’s not fair not to do it with me” line of reasoning is just coercive and manipulative mental gymnastics to ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:45 PM
3

Well she should be judged harshly imho. That’s nutty, controlling behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 10:22 AM
4

You really don’t think a woman would be judged harshly for being upset about “the dreaded female urologist”? Really? Because I notice this example is prominently missing from your list of things women are supposedly uncomfortable with. Maybe this is a clue to why sometimes men are “judged more harshly for their insecurities.”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 03:43 AM
8

I just don’t understand the need to continue crafting arguments ad nauseam about why other people shouldn’t have whatever standards they have, and especially not to argue semantics about whatever words are used to describe who they will and won’t date. What exactly is… the point of all this? If a woman cannot find someone who meets her standards (or “demands” if you prefer), she will either adjust her standards/demands or remain single. If she can, then I guess her standards/demands were not unr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:57 AM
3

Then don’t pay. Most women these days will offer to split the bill. The problem seems to be that some men want the advantage and perhaps sense of obligation that comes with paying, but without having to pay. The fear that some other guy will pay and “win” is what keeps men paying and complaining. You have to be willing to “lose” if it’s important to that particular woman (which means you’re not compatible anyway).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:37 PM
–

Men already behave this way for the most part, although most won’t admit it even to themselves and would rather blame women and family courts for the fact they don’t see their kids. Most attempts to gain access to the kids are really attempts to gain access to and punish the mother. We know this, courts know this, hence the “bias.” And this is part of the reason women are more reluctant to have kids at all these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:35 AM
0

To men and a minority of women it is a great benefit, to most women it’s not. Which is of course why it’s so easy for women to get casual hookups if they want. So, kinda like giving a group of mostly vegetarians coupons for discount meat. Seems fantastic to everyone but them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 06:01 AM
–

Yes, it sucks for wife whose husband left her for younger woman, yes it sucks that she might have to give him alimony if she was higher earner. From my perspective as a woman, it sucks far more if he’s socially obliged to stay with her so just cheats and/or treats her poorly. Traditional social norms never enforced morality, as morality is not something that can be enforced. Just forced people to stay together when it was best for both that they did not. Also, even if she has to pay alimony (whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:41 AM
1

Didn’t say men had an advantage here, just that people (men and women both) don’t come with convenient labels as OP is describing. Some are pretty obvious red flags, but beyond that, you won’t really know who someone is until you’ve lived with them a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 11:02 PM
4

Those fuckboys are the obvious junk food at the front of the store I’m referring to. Doesn’t mean that every guy who isn’t an obvious fuckboy is a good guy or going to be compatible, hence the rest of my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 09:29 PM
3

The idea of the junk food generally being easier to grab is not bad, but the analogy falls apart after that since people are not clearly labeled like that at all. Also because there are a lot of perfectly fine people who you’re just not going to be compatible with, and you won’t know that right away either. So… maybe shopping in a grocery store in a foreign country where you can’t read the labels, with a very delicate digestive system and several food allergies.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:37 PM
2

Okay, but what are some examples of laws discriminating against men?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:24 PM
11

Men can’t choose if their bodies have children because their bodies don’t have the organs to carry children. Same reason a woman can’t choose to have a vasectomy. I disagree with the draft in general, but selective service and voting aren’t connected. And by this metric, older men and disabled men would also have more “bodily autonomy” than young men since they can’t be drafted. We also haven’t had a draft in over 50yrs (thankfully).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:32 AM
6

Well people assume that because more often, mothers are the ones who want custody, and having custody often means lower earning potential. But if mom is wealthy and has custody and dad is broke, he’s not going to need to pay much in the way of child support since it’s a percentage of income, not a flat amount. And if mom is well-off and dad has custody, she’s going to have to pay a lot in child support for the same reason. Because the purpose of child support is to make sure the child has as clo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:45 PM
3

Which double standards are we talking about, specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:26 PM
6

The difference is that children who have already been born: a) are not inside someone else’s body, B) cost money to feed. Abortion is not about consent to parenthood, but rather, consent to what happens to your body. Because women cannot simply decide not to continue supporting a child who has been born, either. If a father gets custody, the mother cannot just say “I don’t consent to pay for this child,” she too will have to pay child support. Child support doesn’t discriminate by gender, it dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:24 PM
5

First off, I wouldn’t say that men don’t look for “better.” Never heard for the concept of a “starter girlfriend/wife” or “placeholder”? The main difference is that women are more likely to reject a man who’s not really what she’s looking for upfront, while men are more likely to say “good enough for now.” But if a hotter woman shows interest, this is when he will create a “rough patch,” start cheating or trying to, and attempt to monkey branch. If it works, he’s gone. If it doesn’t, he’ll want …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 07:18 PM
8

I’m not talking about discrimination of men, I’m talking about why I believe more men are saying “wives should always obey their husbands.” Wives obeying their husbands has nothing to do with actual men’s rights issues, and a genuine MRA would not say that. It’s the incel types who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:28 PM
8

The problem is these guys ultimately don’t care about what’s best for men, only what’s going to punish women for not sleeping with them and make the rest of society as miserable as they are. “If I’m not getting my dick wet, nothing matters” is the attitude. So I’d say instead it’s gotta be more about the 18% of gen z women who agree (only 13% for boomer men, for perspective) who have likely been fooled by “tradwife” content depicting idyllic cottagecore scenes of rich people playing Little House…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:22 PM
3

I don’t know, I’d say teasing in a relationship is actually kind of the opposite of negging. Negging = saying something that sounds complimentary on the surface (or at least socially acceptable) that’s actually a veiled insult to make the person feel insecure. Like “Nice outfit, I like a woman who chooses comfort over style.” Teasing = saying something that sounds mean on the surface, but is actually intended to be humorous rather than hurtful, and is possible due to a certain level of comfort w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 05:25 PM
3

You’ve explained why men can (technically) delay starting a family, not why men are “the prize.” IMHO, nobody is “the prize,” but individual people are more or less desirable than others. Some men are more a “prize” than some women, and vice versa, but overall, men seem to want female partners more than the other way around. Men also do not, in the vast majority of cases, peak any time after 40. Sperm quality declines, their looks go downhill, they accumulate baggage, and develop curmudgeonly at…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:12 AM
1

Yeah this comes off as “concern trolling.” All I care about is that single moms choose someone who’s safe for their kids, if they choose someone at all. Adult men and women can make their own decisions on who they want or don’t want to be with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:17 PM
2

I see no point to this long-winded rant when nobody is forcing men to date single moms. Nobody has to lower their standards if they don’t want. What is it to you if a single mom stays single? Or is it the thought that she might get a man you find desirable what really bothers you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 03:26 PM
4

Face definitely matters to most guys. I’ll take you at your word that it doesn’t matter that much to you, because I don’t like it when people try to sit and argue about other people’s stated preferences. But yeah, definitely matters for most people of both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 11:16 AM
11

You are only giving height and weight characteristics, whereas I’m sure your attraction to this woman would depend heavily on if you found her face pretty or not. Likewise, her attraction to you would heavily depend on finding your face attractive or not. Just… two average height, slim people tells us almost nothing about what you look like and what you think your looksmatch is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:51 AM
6

Feminists don’t want to shame and trap men into staying with women they no longer want to be with. Feminists want women to have their own careers and money so they are not left in a difficult situation if a man does leave/cheats/turns into an insufferable jackass. “Removing the shackles” from both women and men is the whole idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:20 PM
–

Women do date ugly guys all the time, they’re just usually ugly women. Go to Walmart. But then the goalpost always gets moved to “well she’s not really attracted to him.” Idk, is he really attracted to her? Who fucking knows besides them? Many have kids with them, suggesting they’re definitely getting busy regardless.lol The bar for what men consider “genuine attraction” seems to be so high that it doesn’t even matter if a guy is a 2 or 7, they still won’t believe she’s attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:18 AM
7

Why would she be a “liar and manipulator” because OP is choosing to omit something important from the story? I don’t think either of them is flat-out lying, I just think he isn’t sharing something else important that happened to this woman because it wouldn’t support his narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:36 PM
0

This might come as a surprise, but not all women feel the same way about being single and/or childfree/childless.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:03 PM
8

I would love to go to this woman and confirm, but ya know… I don’t know her. Going to some other single childfree woman over 35 is not going to tell us anything about what was going on with this woman specifically, and OP is pretty glaringly omitting information. Also, last I checked, it was OP calling women “broken” for wanting a husband and family and not having that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:35 PM
6

While I definitely agree that women also bear responsibility in a relationship, generally speaking, phrases like “If he wanted to, he would,” are pushback against the hyperresponsibility women often feel in the area of relationships, and to encourage women to let go of men who just clearly don’t give a shit instead of trying to change him. This is not an example of “morally black and white” thinking, it’s deciding not to “try to make things work with the wrong man.” Sometimes maturity is realizi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:28 PM
10

So the “withdrawing effort” is “my thoughts about women will be slightly more negative than they already are?” And what sort of effort do you want women to make for NEET single men? Also just positive thoughts?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:51 AM
8

Source? What sort of effort are NEET single men currently making for women that you feel they should withdraw?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:34 AM
9

As if a huge portion of men who are struggling aren’t “ethnic, downs, autistic, whatever”? This makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:26 AM
34

I’m guessing just some small irrelevant detail like “Her father died of cancer last week” or something tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 03:20 AM
4

I think this is another “my standards for looks are just biology, but women’s are wrong and they should somehow simultaneously lower their standards but also feel raw lust for the men they’ve lowered their standards for” situation here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 03:06 AM
3

Politics has become far more divided over the past decade, and especially with this current administration. As far as core values go, the left has always valued equality and compassion more, while the right has always valued tradition and hierarchy more. However, this divide has become greater over the years, and the left has gone more toward socialism, while the right has gone more toward fascism. Both sides consider the other to be fundamentally immoral and wrong. But the main dividing factor …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:54 AM
6

So you claim that “strong mutual physical attraction” is important, but that it’s a problem that people who don’t meet an “aesthetic threshold” get filtered out. Unless by “aesthetic threshold” you mean something like an Instagram aesthetic, this is contradictory. As far as shared hobbies go, sharing a hobby certainly isn’t reason enough alone to date someone, and you don’t have to share every hobby. However, at least one shared hobby definitely helps you connect, and often says something about …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 01:41 AM
–

Well I agree men caring about their looks enough to do what they reasonably can to improve is a good thing, but I’m not really seeing any more fit, well-groomed guys who care about their looks but don’t obsess. I am seeing rates of eating disorders and body dysmorphia rising among young men statistically, and more young men complaining about women’s standards without doing anything. I also don’t think that not rushing into marriage is a bad thing, but the main reason behind it (which you cite yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:51 PM
1

if a woman is doing a hook up, she’s obviously going to choose the most attractive man she can find Not necessarily. I’d say this is only true of women who regularly seek out hookups, which is a minority. Most women choose hookups based on who is a) available b) that they feel comfortable with and c) find attractive enough, at the time she wants a hookup. I’m a relationships person, but the few times I’ve had a hookup or sex early on in the dating process, it was with a casual friend who I yes f…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 09:17 PM
–

So let me get this straight. Your three examples of how men’s movements have had a positive impact are: 1) Men becoming more self-conscious about their looks, 2) men not rushing into marriage (but mainly because the economy is trash), and 3) men basically giving up on dating because they don’t think they have a chance? I’m not trying to be snarky here, but I really don’t see the “positive,” just neutral, if not negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 09:02 PM
5

Curious what the prompt was. “Construct a criticism of ‘feminism’ from the perspective of an alien with access to human media but has never visited Earth, using only reality television, drag shows, soap operas, and Wattpad fanfic as source material”?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 01:15 PM
3

The problem is that most of the men here are too self-focused to realize that how soon a woman has sex with a man usually has more to do with her own circumstances and mental state than the man himself. So they really believe that if she had sex with some other guy 0.2753 seconds sooner than them, she was more attracted to him, and it turns the timing of sex into a dick-measuring contest with every one of her hypothetical previous partners. In reality, sex on the first date for most women is mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 01:01 AM
1

Every movement attracts pushback, hate, and trolling. Feminist, or even just female, spaces often get so bombarded by hate (including rape and death threats) from angry men that they have to be very carefully moderated to even be able to exist. And yet, feminists have still managed to create positive change for women. So no, I don’t think women saying “you just want sex” is what’s preventing men from having positive, proactive spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 12:30 AM
1

Have you seen this pattern play out? Not really no. Sometimes dads are more permissive, sometimes moms, sometimes they’re both about the same. But I would say that usually, whatever mom says goes because dad doesn’t know what’s going on with his kids to the same extent. If he wants to be able to make rules equally, he needs to be there equally from the start. Both parents really SHOULD take an active role and have an equal say, but this often isn’t the case due to fathers’ own choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 07:38 PM
1

I chose option 3. Like I wouldn’t choose someone who wasn’t working and was going to leave me working two jobs just to get by, or was happy for us to just live in their parents’ basement indefinitely or something. But most people under 40 or 50 who have average jobs are struggling in this economy, and that’s just how it is. There’s always the potential for things to get better financially as long as you’re both working, but if you don’t connect with them emotionally or don’t find them attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 06:40 PM
22

A better (but still of course utterly ridiculous) argument could be constructed that if voting is proxy for war, only military age individuals should be allowed to vote. Because a young woman can join the military, but a 60yr old man cannot. But of course that would result in democrats winning more often and himself no longer being able to vote, and he knows his argument is disingenuous, so he’s not going to say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 09:33 AM
4

is a joke Is it? But for the sake of argument, we can leave the “you suck” part out of it, and the results will probably be about the same. as if every conversation would go smooth if you were a man Definitely don’t think this is true. But he was claiming that men accept direct criticism from other men without conflict, which is something I can’t fully confirm or deny. But I can tell you they don’t take criticism from women any better than women do, usually worse. Especially if it’s a partner bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 06:34 PM
5

I’m not referring to personal attacks but to criticism of actions and skills, as in your example. You think a guy is gonna hear “Honey you suck at loading the dishwasher. Here’s how you do it right,” and go “Oh, okay, that’s how I’ll do it next time”? lol No, more like “Geez well I guess if I can’t do it right I guess I just won’t try to help you again!” and be sulky and passive-aggressive for the rest of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:47 PM
11

Except men only (sometimes) accept this type of direct criticism from other men, they don’t respond well to criticism from women at all. This is an example of the in-group bias OP is referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 10:42 AM
33

Men have a type of in-group bias for sure, but it often seems to be more of a bias against women and more oriented toward themselves and men they perceive to be similar. “I am smart and women are not, but I am also smarter than other men,” vs “men as a whole are smart.” Or “it is women’s fault for choosing men who are not me/not like me.” This is the trouble with men’s movements and why they tend to be ineffectual, because they are usually more about a desire to punish women vs concern for men. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 10:31 AM
–

Tbh they seem to be doing the same thing I was doing when I told my parents I was “looking for a job” as a young person and wanted to make money but didn’t actually want to work. Was I applying here and there? Sure. But 90% of the time I was just reading job postings and coming up with reasons I shouldn’t bother. I really just wanted the perfect easy well-paying job to drop in my lap. But the interesting thing is I wasn’t just lying to my parents — I genuinely felt like I’d exhausted my options …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:17 AM
3

I have to question the notion that you’re actually describing “male psychology” vs how men are socialized to be. Because men often complain about not feeling like they’re allowed to freely express “weak” emotions like sadness or fear, that they will be mocked by men and dumped by women if they are vulnerable. While I agree this is a problem with how society treats men, you can’t have it both ways depending on what’s convenient (men should be allowed to freely express emotion and be vulnerable wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 09:54 AM
3

What is your “objective” definition of slavery? Because last I checked, it meant being owned by another person, not having to abide by the same laws as everyone else in a country. You can argue that those laws are oppressive, but it’s not “slavery.” And unlike my examples, modern marriage is 100% voluntary, so the comparison to slavery makes even less sense. why do they give you benefits for getting married? Well, government-provided financial incentives for getting married are pretty limited (s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:06 PM
3

Regardless of if you’re married or not, you and the other parent can either agree about custody arrangements out of court, or if you don’t agree, a judge will decide. Marriage doesn’t in any way prevent child custody from being decided between the two parents, that’s how it’s usually done. If the government could just get involved in your private life without your consent, that would make you a slave. Right, so I guess if I just don’t tell the government I have a job or a car I don’t need to pay…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:25 AM
9

if you had children, that means some judge now has to decide how often you can see your children What do you think happens if you aren’t married and break up with the person you have kids with? Hint: some judge still has to decide how often you can see your children. Marriage is not necessary for love, that much is true. However, what it does is offer legal protections for the ways that two people who wish to spend their lives together are already going to combine their lives. What marriage does…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 09:49 AM
21

The only women who want this are “tradwife” types, and if that’s what you want, better be prepared to fully support a wife and several children on one income, because that’s what they expect. Now, a common issue in relationships is that too many men want a mommy who carries the mental load and makes all of the daily decisions for them, but still want the relationship to revolve around their wants and needs. I call this the “king baby” syndrome. THIS is what leads to a breakdown of respect in man…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 09:59 AM
–

How can it be “the core of all feminism” when feminism has been around for well over a century? FDS and pink pill feminism is quite in contradiction to second wave feminism especially.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 05:38 PM
–

Well first of all, this doesn’t seem like the right place to post this. But I want to say a few things… Men didn’t start calling cis women “females” because of trans women. It caught on in misogynist spaces because it was/is intended to be dehumanizing, although I think now some guys have just picked it up without really thinking about it. Seen some women do it too, although it’s less common. Given that trans people make up approximately 1% of the population, I don’t think there’s anything wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 10:10 PM
1

At the time (I was in my late 20s), it was generally about 2yrs younger to about 7yrs older. Because this was the first time in my life that dating more than 2yrs younger didn’t mean dating someone in their early 20s, and I just wasn’t used to “younger” still being old enough not to be an issue. Nowadays, well I obviously haven’t had any reason to date in a while since I’m married, but hypothetically, probably around 5yrs younger to 10yrs older. I don’t see anything wrong with larger age gaps on…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:02 PM
5

My husband has a beard that makes him look older. Had I seen my his age before talking to him (he’s 3.5yrs younger) it would’ve given me pause or might have been outside my age range, don’t exactly recall what it was. It wasn’t enough of an age gap to actually make a difference, but people have more of a tendency to pick and choose based on numbers online vs irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:35 PM
2

That’s funny because I don’t think I can say I ever felt either of these ways about anyone I was dating. More like… if we’re dating, that means I could see myself having sex with them at some point, but wouldn’t actually feel compelled to do that until and unless a connection developed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:20 PM
8

No you’re correct. Like I’m not saying that these nasty confrontations never happen, but they’re far more rare than the internet would have you believe. Because boring stories of polite interactions don’t get engagement.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:07 PM
28

This honestly seems to be the norm in the US too. I think this post is a result of thinking TikTok drama is real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 12:19 PM
1

I can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like this from anyone under 60. Sounds like some “happy wife happy life” boomer humor shit, where wives are characterized as demanding harpies and husbands as bumbling fools who are better off just saying “yes dear” and humoring them because “she’s always right even when she’s not.” This type of thinking is mutually sexist and rather outdated. I see very little reason for raised voices though, regardless of if the people arguing are of the same or opposite se…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 09:51 AM
0

Because the comment I was replying to said the man was ugly? We’re not sure about the woman, but usually people date people who are somewhat the same level of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 01:54 PM
0

I would say it is more likely that they are in relationships with women who also aren’t very attractive. Which I’ve noticed some guys don’t want to talk about because they want to pretend only women are picky about looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 01:41 AM
1

The wording here makes it a little confusing, do you mean he is currently having sex with other women, or that he did in the recent past before we started dating? Because that makes all the difference to me. Currently, no thanks, but any time in the past I don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 01:34 AM
5

“Trying to fuck” and “assumed entitlement to fuck” are two very different things. There has never been a time in history where the average man and woman believed that paying for a date meant sex, period. That they he, or both him and her, were interested in having sex at some point if things worked out? Of course. But never that simply going on a date would result in sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:10 PM
7

Yes, I would argue that there IS a “brand” of feminism, so-called “pink pill feminism,” that is basically “I’m a strong independent woman but you should pay for everything.” Lot of feminists wouldn’t classify this as feminism, but I am iffy on that because then we get into No True Scotsman territory. Imo anyone who advocates for women’s rights is a feminist, but I don’t care for pink pill feminists being used as a straw man for “Feminism” in general, when this is really a fairly new ideology. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 07:45 PM
2

Compare to a mom, not compared to other dads. Dads are just culturally allowed to put themselves first sometimes, moms are not. The standards are just different.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:10 PM
1

He’s a good dad, I wouldn’t be with a dad who wasn’t. But are almost all dads comparatively lazy with kids? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:27 PM
29

There’s nothing that I want a man to do for me that it would bother me if he’d done it for someone else in the past. I just don’t want him doing it for someone else in the present or future.lol As far as the past goes, it’s more about what I don’t want done to me (cheating on or hitting an ex, for example).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 12:32 PM
6

What makes you think they aren’t paying half the bills?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 12:23 PM
0

“This ugly poor man has a girlfriend, therefore looks and status don’t matter” is a false conclusion based on faulty logic. “Women respond well to looks and status, therefore it is a lie that this ugly poor man has a girlfriend” is also a false conclusion based on faulty logic. There are ugly poor men who do get girlfriends. This doesn’t mean it isn’t a lot easier to when you’re not ugly and poor. Not sure why this seems to be a tough concept for some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:26 AM
–

Generally speaking yes, but for some women it is worth it if the man they fall in love with just happens to be older. Or sometimes the other way around. A close family friend lost her husband in her 50s because he was about 10yrs older and got cancer. Was it very difficult and heartbreaking for her? Of course. Does she regret ever marrying him? Not at all, because he was a wonderful man and fewer years with the right person is still better than a lifetime with the wrong person. There’s a differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:51 AM
–

Because most women put a lot more time and effort into our appearances than most men just to look “presentable,” so then to be told “it’s easier” when most men aren’t doing much of anything but still somehow have wives and girlfriends, is rather annoying. Most women aren’t getting “minimally invasive” procedures like breast implants, but most men barely even take care of their hair and skin. If men were actually out here getting double jaw surgery, height surgery, hair transplants, it would be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:12 AM
7

Paying for a date never indicated commitment. A woman who had sex because a man paid for a date was considered a “slut,” and the man was considered a “wolf” or “cad.” A ring indicated commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:37 AM
4

Not at all. I mean it could be argued that marriage was a tradeoff of sex and reproduction for resources, and this is why men did not want women to be able to earn their own living . But it was considered slutty for a woman to have sex on the first date or during the dating stage at all, and improper for a man to expect that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:27 AM
47

This is kind of like saying “I was told that if I wore cutoff shorts to the job interview I wouldn’t get the job, but then I was told that just because I dressed nicely for the interview didn’t mean I was owed the job. I was lied to!” Personally, I do believe splitting the bill should be default nowadays. The custom of the man paying is rather outdated now that almost all women have jobs too. However, the custom of the man paying for a date was never based on an exchange of money for sex. The cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:46 AM
2

How’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:11 AM
1

I guess to me, unless someone actually is having sex with other people, whether they hypothetically could or couldn’t is pretty much irrelevant. If anything, it says more about a woman’s loyalty if she’s choosing not to have sex with other men, vs a man simply not having the opportunity. Especially when it seems most men are trying to get as close as they can to having sex with other women without actually doing so.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:31 AM
2

As someone who got pulled down the pink pill feminism rabbit hole for a while, let’s just say… I think taking it too far will have you ending up married to someone like Lord Farquaad or the Shrek “Prince Charming” thinking you found the real Prince Charming. Which is the cautionary tale Shrek actually is. There are pros and cons to marrying Shrek vs staying single. But you don’t want to end up financially dependent on a Lord Farquaad/“Prince Charming” in an attempt to “get that bag.” I’m pretty …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:09 PM
3

How many dads do you know? How many are Chad or Jeff Bezos?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:26 PM
2

I’d argue that it’s not really about women’s approval per se. It’s more about intrasexual competition with other men and wanting access to what women can provide. Seeing women as “basic and boring” won’t help since for the most part, men already don’t pursue women because they like them as people. In order for men to “stop caring so much,” that requires a conscious shift away from chasing external approval in general. Not “how to have the upper hand in dating” because that’s still chasing approv…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:23 PM
9

Yep. I always say that if I could be a father, I’d definitely have a couple kids by now, but I do not want to be a mother. I guess being stepmom was the closest I could get as woman, and that’s what I did. I got really lucky with my step kid and enjoy being a step for the most part, but even being a step when she was younger was completely exhausting and made up my mind that I didn’t want kids of my own. Sitting down at my desk at work and saying “Ahh, I can finally relax” was an eye-opening mom…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:42 AM
-1

Because usually when men are pressed to give examples of being a “dancing monkey,” it’s just basic social interaction. Like if one of my girl friends said “Ugh, I hate being expected to get dressed and go for coffee and make conversation and laugh and ask questions and listen to my friend’s problems as if I care, I feel like a dancing monkey,” I’d assume she just didn’t like me. Now, some nuance is important here. Because if a guy is talking about a woman who expects him to pay for expensive dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 05:34 PM
1

I don’t think most blue pillers would deny that married women can be attracted to other men. But even as a “purple piller,” trying to use these photos to prove something is just utterly ridiculous. Especially when she looks so happy in her wedding photo. It’s a big reach to say the least.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 05:04 PM
10

Same way women come to terms with the fact that our partners will never be as attracted to us as to conventionally attractive women? I just don’t get why men think this is a male-specific struggle. Especially when women are expected to just accept that their partners will watch porn and follow semi-nude models on social media… but it’s a problem if a woman shows some level of attraction to a fully dressed conventionally attractive man?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 04:38 PM
–

My issue isn’t men finding a 17 yr old who passes as an adult attractive (if they don’t act on it). What I want to know is why, if fertility peaks around 20, I and so many other women received the most harassment at ages 10-14, which then slowed down considerably by 16-18. Because that doesn’t align with “biology.”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 01:23 PM
–

It’s more the fact that we all have experienced men also being attracted to sexually undeveloped bodies that’s disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 01:17 PM
0

While women’s icks sometimes involve behaviors that may be considered gender-atypical, these seem really cherry-picked to prove a point. I searched for “most common icks,” and the AI returned these results: Top Behavioral & Social Icks Rudeness: Specifically, being rude to waiters, drivers, or service staff. Hygiene Issues: Body odor, bad breath, dirty nails, or poor grooming. Immature Actions: Putting on a "baby voice," air guitar, or calling oneself a "cuddle monster". Communication Style: Tal…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:39 AM
2

What sort of “permanent solution” would you propose? using feminist men as examples of what a good man looks like I would say many feminists already do this to an extent, but the type of men who like Tate are going to hate any feminist man, especially if women are hyping him. I’m all for more good male role models, but I strongly disagree with the ideal that young men flocked to Tate because of some utter lack of any other male role models. They’re not looking for a “good role model,” they like …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:22 AM
4

Feminism is a much vaster and long-standing movement than TRP. There are about as many kinds of feminists as there are Christians, so you’ll find lots of disagreement and different areas of focus among feminists. Personally, I care about human rights, so of course I care about men’s issues insofar as “men’s issues” don’t mean “women aren’t giving me something I feel entitled to,” or pushing feminists to center men. Because feminism is, by definition, about women’s rights. This doesn’t mean a fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 10:35 PM
4

I don’t have stats on that, but I would guess not many. I’m not saying that a man who wants children should date women 35-50. 25-30 is probably going to be his best bet. But he should aim to do this at 25-35 himself, not wait till he’s pushing 40 or older.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:16 AM
8

The majority of women 18-25 want to be mothers Nope, just under half (45%) of women 18-34 say they want to have children, compared to 57% of young men. source Now obviously, if one does want biological kids, the fertility window is a factor. However, I don’t think it’s smart for men to wait too long to settle down if a family is important to them, either. I’m not saying “get married in your early 20s,” waiting for some level of financial stability is important. But most reproductive age women pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 12:32 AM
–

OP making a claim about “all men” does not necessitate that my claim also refer to “all men.” My argument is that yes, looks are a factor in preferring younger women, and for some men that may be the only factor. But I disagree with OP’s assertion that this is always the only reason, based on statements from men themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:06 AM
–

What is “emotional baggage” to you, specifically? Is this something you believe men over a certain age also carry, and if so, why is that not a problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:56 AM
–

Wow that’s a manospherian leap from “some men want a woman they can manipulate” to “men are inherently evil.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:52 AM
–

What constitutes a “demanding bitch” is highly subjective. And anecdotally, it seems that women who men might call “demanding bitches” end up with the best outcomes, while “agreeable” women tend to get used for convenience and discarded for a hotter woman (who might be a bit of a “demanding bitch”).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:28 AM
–

I didn’t say it is easier for older men to get younger women. It just seems to be that older men think if they can get a younger woman, she will be easier to manipulate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:00 AM
–

What would your thoughts be if a woman said she wanted a man who was “less combative, brings peace, and is more willing to support her in what she wants to accomplish”? Because sure, those are nice words that don’t directly state you want someone you can control, but I would guess most men would suspect this woman was a bit self-centered, narcissistic, wants a yes-man more so than a partner. One need not be “impressed” by someone to enjoy their company and be excited to be with them. The sort of…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:58 AM
–

Most people do prefer people who are more “agreeable” in the commonly used sense of the word. But the manosphere meaning of “agreeable” is more like “submissive.” I never said all men think this way and don’t think that’s true. But of those who do like to talk about how they prefer younger women, it often does involve them being easier to manipulate, even though they will put it in nicer-sounding terms. Some women are also manipulative with younger men, but when we think of “cougars” it’s usuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:46 PM
–

There’s a big difference between saying “all relationships of this type are wrong,” and saying “this is something that can happen in this type of relationship, watch out for it.” For example, Asian women do talk about being fetishized by white men and assumed to be more submissive and traditional. This doesn’t mean “interracial relationships are always bad,” it’s just something to be aware of.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:14 PM
–

Unreasonable to whom though? If they truly are unreasonable, they simply won’t get what they want and will stay single. If they get what they wanted, guess it wasn’t unreasonable. None of this should rustle men’s jimmies as much as it seems to. It almost seems like they were hoping to get women on “clearance prices” and are upset most would rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 05:59 PM
–

The whole “younger women are more impressionable and easy to manipulate” thing comes straight from the horse’s mouth, though. Just recently saw a post from a man talking about how he likes that younger women are easier to impress and it just takes too much to impress women over 28. They won’t straight up use the word “manipulate,” of course, but words like “moldable” and “agreeable” etc. mean the same thing. None of this means that looks don’t factor into it. Two things can be true at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 04:16 PM
–

You stated that sex was equal to marriage in the past. I said marriage was more of a business contract, and people often did engage in sex outside of marriage even if it wasn’t socially accepted. Many of those business contract marriages were arranged. Not sure why this seems so off topic to you. You never mentioned anything about the 90s unless that was in some other comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 02:00 PM
1

If a sizable amount of the population kept saying there was no traffic jam, my first guesses would be a) maybe they’re taking a different route or b) maybe they consider the traffic conditions in the area to be normal rush hour traffic. Not that a bunch of strangers had a reason to lie to me about a traffic jam. And if they were lying for some reason, I would just say okay, fine, you’ll find out when you drive to work today.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:44 AM
1

If you tell me that there is a traffic jam, I will assume you are just telling me there’s a traffic jam so I can avoid it. But if you send me several emotionally-charged essays on traffic jams and start a message board to gather other people’s thoughts on traffic jams, I will assume traffic jams are something you are seeking a solution for and suggest that you contact the local government.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:48 AM
10

If the fewer suitors was due to more men collectively preferring to be single over dating women they didn’t like, yes, women’s dating problems would change. If it’s just fewer suitors but male nature stays the same, then no, same problems on a smaller scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:32 AM
3

The first example yes, but the second one is just honesty. The equivalent would be “I want to have sex with you, but I don’t see you as relationship material.” And that’s the sort of thing some men seem to think women should be okay with hearing, but are not okay with hearing themselves despite always asking for women to “just be honest.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:53 PM
1

Eh, on the surface perhaps, but for much of history, marriage was often really more of a business contract. Spouses were not supposed to have sex with others of course, but when marriages are arranged, there is going to be a high chance that love and sex for pleasure (rather than just procreation) is going to take place with people other than one’s spouse. This was definitely more accepted for men than women, but I’m sure it happened both ways quite often.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:37 PM
3

I mean I would agree with “sex is necessary but insufficient,” I just notice there is rarely any discussion of the other “necessary but insufficient” parts or a relationship. Which yes, leads me to believe that a relationship really is not the main goal, more of a means to an end. In a discussion on another sub, I once offered this analogy for why women who DO like sex can become put off by it. Let’s say you like tacos. Maybe not your favorite food, or maybe they are, but you definitely could ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 09:19 PM
2

I tend to agree for the most part, although I would say it’s always best to simply omit unnecessary information rather than lie or embellish. I’ve never dated someone who did something like rate me a 4/10, and wouldn’t stick around if they did. But one form of brutal honesty I’ve encountered from men consistently is saying some extremely unflattering and private things about their exes… and I don’t need to hear that either. Like they seem to find it humorous and I can’t say I’ve never joined in …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:56 AM
7

Ah yes, we all know how much men enjoy brutally honest statements such as “you’re the second smallest guy I’ve been with, but you’re the best… well maybe the second best, at oral so I don’t care that much.” Or “I actually am in the market for a relationship right now, I just don’t find you attractive.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:31 AM
–

So what gave men permission to blatantly disrespect women they’re not attracted to? Because that happens just as much if not more. All that has changed is that everyone now has a platform to share with the world whatever might’ve been just a thought or a whispered comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:47 PM
–

Trying to claim that “blue pill is a cult” is like trying to claim that agnosticism is a cult. “Blue pill” is not a group, has no leaders or spokespeople, has no consistent beliefs or principles. It can only be defined by what it is not. I don’t think red pill is a cult either, that term is grossly overused these days. But there could be a far better argument made that it is, given that there are at least some consistent principles and red pill authors and influencers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 07:00 PM
14

Oh, so sort of like “genuine attraction,” “unconditional love,” “agreeable,” “frame,” “female privilege,” “women have no accountability,” or “responsibility without authority”? Because usually when I press for more specifics on what is meant by terms like these, I don’t get anything specific or concrete. Red pillers also love to retreat into a motte-and-bailey fallacy of “it’s just about self-improvement” or “it’s just an evidence-based approach to dating” whenever challenged. Despite claiming t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:52 PM
3

Almost all women would agree with 1 and 2, 3 is where you’ll get some disagreement. And disagreement does not equate to lack of understanding, nor does it equate to believing the complete antithesis of this statement (“women do not care about looks, money, or status”). Most women also don’t object to the concept of self-improvement, it’s just that this isn’t a concept unique to TRP and doesn’t even get talked about much anymore. What makes TRP “sexy” to struggling men and controversial to the ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 02:36 AM
11

I’d say people’s lives in general may be more stressful than they were in the very recent past (last few decades), but overall less stressful than they were for most of history. Basically, technology made our lives easier until it started making them more complicated. Most women worked very hard both in the home and to earn extra money for the family. The image of the housewife we normally have was only typical for a very brief moment in history in midcentury America, a time of abnormal prosperi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 07:49 PM
1

To be fair, as a woman, OF creators ARE often annoying in the same way MLM huns or social media “life coaches” are. Advertising is annoying, especially when it’s disguised as something other than advertising. However, of course a lot of men’s hatred of OF creators goes way beyond that. Which comes down to jealousy imo… and ya know, the fact they just hate women in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:57 AM
20

I used to agree with you and the whole RPW/pink pill idea of not doing “wife duties” for a boyfriend. And I still definitely think women have no obligation to do those things for a boyfriend (or even a husband if she works outside the home too). However, these days I totally disagree with the reasoning of not doing those things in order to incentivize marriage. A man who wants to marry you will marry you, a man who doesn’t, won’t. It’s that simple. Dangling free labor like a carrot is silly — an…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 10:58 PM
1

When women (and men) do try to offer advice in good faith, it’s usually poorly received. Most of these posts come off as simply seeking agreement that women bad, or wanting some cheat code to attract women that doesn’t exist. And any attempt to give advice is framed as unfairly blaming men for women being too picky. So, while I don’t condone bullying, that’s what these posts are ripe for.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 06:03 PM
5

So I’m more of a liberal than a leftist so perhaps not the best person to answer this. But it’s my understanding that leftists support the government paying for the children of LOW INCOME parents. Which it already does to a degree, although leftists think that should be expanded and I tend to agree, given that nowadays there’s a huge gap between the threshold at which people can receive assistance and a livable wage. BUT there’s no reason why taxpayers making $50k/yr should be paying for the chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 05:19 PM
–

You sure you even replied to the right comment? Because why the fuck are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:06 PM
–

Women don’t want to receive lesser treatment than other women either, and I would say often do. However, usually it’s not so black and white what constitutes “lesser treatment,” because every situation just IS different. For example, I wouldn’t expect a 30yr old man to write me some sappy love song like he did for his high school girlfriend. Is that a double standard? I don’t really think so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 06:55 PM
–

So let me get this straight, this time, women should give men they don’t have immediate attraction to a chance in order to find out if he’s “boyfriend material”? Because this sub is filled with posts stating the opposite, that it’s no good unless she starts frothing with uncontrollable lust and drops her drawers in the middle of a busy intersection the moment she gets a whiff of your pheromones from across town. You can have both attraction and thinking someone’s personality is well-suited to a …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:13 PM
1

I would not want to start seriously dating someone who still had a current FWB regardless of when they wanted to have sex. As for having had past FWBs but wanting to wait to get to know each other when dating for a relationship, I find that totally understandable. My husband shared (much later on of course) that he wanted to wait because his first marriage started with a hookup and was a total shitshow, so he wanted to do things differently. It’s not just women who learn from mistakes and don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:21 AM
5

Bi woman in a semi-open marriage with a bi husband here. No, not at all. The top comment is correct… we’re queer as shit.lol We’re happy being monogamous a majority of the time, it’s not like we “need both” men and women, but our primary reason for being open is so we can both experience different sides of our sexuality on the occasion we meet someone who’s a good fit for us. And their gender and whether they’re trans or cis doesn’t matter, just that we find them attractive and fun. Now, I will …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 06:35 PM
2

Religion definitely plays a role in social attitudes in general, but I guess to me, any ideas about dating that tend to follow the prevailing social norms in a culture are “blue pill.” Because “blue pill” generally means you don’t study and pick apart dating, just go with the flow and naturally learn from observing the people around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 08:46 PM
17

99% of the time it’s anecdotes or fallacious statements. Source for this stat? Red pill was supposed to be data-based and used to be… sort of. Red pillers always cherry-picked studies and kept recycling the same studies over and over, but anymore, I can’t say I even see “red pillers” citing any data any more often than “blue pillers.” It tends to be anecdotes (that are often hard to believe) and long whiny rants. There’s no personal accountability anymore either, so I guess it doesn’t really mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:12 PM
–

A meta-analysis on honesty (Gerlach et al., 2019), based on 380 experiments that recorded gender differences in lying, indicated that men were 4% more deceptive than women. Results indicated that men lied more and were more successful lie-tellers than women. In addition, men believed the sender less than women but were not more successful detectors of lies and truths. Higher perceived lie-telling ability, narcissistic features, and experiential thinking style explained men’s performance. source
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 12:52 PM
6

Dude, even as an out and proud bisexual woman, I am not “disgusted” by sex with men. You are describing closeted lesbians. And women being overall less horny than men or not being interested in you specifically, does not make them all lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:15 AM
2

This is like the fourth unbelievable rejection story I’ve come across from this user. Either there’s a whole lot more to these stories, or they are entirely made up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:49 PM
2

While married/taken: I don’t mind, but would definitely prefer not. It’s just awkward and hard to know when the proper time to end the conversation/mention a partner is. Sort of like when you know somebody who’s struck up a conversation is trying to sell you something, and you don’t want to be rude and walk away, but you also don’t want to waste their time. While single: Very setting-dependent. In a fun, relaxed setting where people are more apt to actually linger and socialize (like a bar/club …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 03:06 AM
12

Yep, and cooking isn’t the only thing men seem to magically become competent at when there’s a paycheck involved. They can remember important dates, schedule appointments, communicate effectively… really amazing!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 02:28 AM
28

Women aren’t naturally more inclined to cooking or cleaning. For example, male chefs enjoy cooking and do a good job of it, because they get paid. That’s the key, men don’t want to do unpaid labor so decide those are women’s jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 01:04 AM
6

I do think the motivation to pay sex workers (vs. masturbation for physical needs) is often a bit more complex than it looks on the surface though, too. Things like wanting to feel powerful because she needs the money, or wanting to feel powerless because he has to give her money. I’ve also heard that sex work involves a lot of acting and bonus therapist work. I’m reminded of the quote from (probably not) Oscar Wilde: “Everything in the world is about sex — except sex. Sex is about power.”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:36 PM
1

Monopolizing the conversation by monologuing or frequent interruption. I don’t think most men realize just how much they talk. And that while being talkative is fine, it’s tiring when someone just expects you to listen with interest as they go on and on without showing any interest in what you’re saying. Even worse when they try to turn a pleasant conversation into a contest and “correct” you on everything, including things that don’t have a correct answer or they don’t know much about. I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:34 PM
1

Well, the dental field might be female-dominated these days, but you’re definitely winning at the male-dominated field of blaming other people for your personal lack of romantic success on this sub. I’m not disagreeing that men definitely contribute to today’s dating issues, but this comes off just as silly as their rants about women being too picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:18 PM
8

I would argue that men actually seem to regard sex (as a recreational activity, not reproduction of the species) as a higher-order esteem need, while claiming it as a physiological need. Women regard it as love and belonging.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:11 PM
2

Water fulfills the basic need of being thirsty, while beer fulfills a specific desire for a certain beverage with added benefits. Beer quenches thirst, but people don’t generally order beer just because they’re thirsty. Just like people don’t generally seek out sexual relationships just because they’re lonely. Which is all fine, but you can’t use improper terminology and then get mad at people for offering the wrong advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 12:49 PM
3

It’s more like claiming you are “thirsty,” but getting mad when people keep offering you water because really you want a beer, but nobody wants to share their beer with you. It’s not wrong to want a beer, but “thirsty” doesn’t accurately describe your state. to have one unit of “girlfriend” and can’t get it despite all the hard work. Framing women as resources really doesn’t help your case here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:59 AM
1

I absolutely feel empathy for men as fellow human beings, and many of the specific issues men face. However, I don’t believe loneliness is really such a male-specific issue as it’s made out of be lately, nor do I believe what men tend to complain about on this sub should really be described as “loneliness.” Why do I say this? Well, first of all, because I’ve never had an easy time making female friends. A lot of it is likely because I’m neurodivergent, but it doesn’t take a whole lot to miss the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:57 AM
–

Which is why he had to work hard to save his image, he was losing money. But he wasn’t “blackballed” for long, and I remember Amber being painted as the bad guy pretty quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 12:29 AM
2

I’ve never been physically hurt by a medical professional, female or male. However, I’ve consistently been dismissed by both, like most women. The script for younger female patients is always just pregnant? > fat? > no? we don’t know, here’s some SSRIs. Very difficult to get any sort of actual care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:58 PM
–

I don’t know these people and don’t have a firm opinion on this case. However, I will say that Johnny has a lot more money and fame than her, and could easily sway public opinion regardless of actual events. She isn’t likable, she isn’t the “perfect victim,” but I’m just not sold on the narrative. Time will tell, perhaps.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:53 PM
1

The “red pill women” sub is supposed to be for women, and dating red pill men isn’t recommended. Now, how beneficial for women the advice really tends to be, is highly questionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:02 PM
4

Yeah the wrong turn thing is a no-win situation, but it’s always better to say something than not. Then he’ll just feel stupid and be grumpy for a few seconds (and still probably try to find some way to blame you), but the alternative is a total shit-show. Man, just gotta say I hate riding in cars with men, regardless of who’s driving. In my experience at least, this is one of the few “yes all men” things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:21 PM
–

Haha! Well I have gotten my “picky toddler” to accept certain veggies he wouldn’t normally in some soups and casseroles, and learned if I substitute dried onion for fresh onion he won’t notice it. But one upside to living with someone who dislikes vegetables, is now something like fresh veggies and hummus feels like “treating myself.” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 06:53 PM
3

I have “gaslight” in quotes for a reason. People misuse this term like crazy these days, this post being a great example. That being said, only weight is someone’s “own doing” (to an extent). Penis size isn’t, and neither is a woman’s body proportions or things like cellulite and stretch marks. Those just are what they are, but choosing to fixate on those things and listen to jerks IS a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:46 PM
–

Most men I know eat less healthy than most women I know, but no it doesn’t “disgust” me. The fact my husband doesn’t like most vegetables annoys me a bit since I would prefer to put said veggies in a lot of dishes, but this very much goes under my “pick your battles” file. It’s just food. In order for me to feel disgust, it would have to be like a morbidly obese person eating PILES of food in front of me. If you’re feeling disgusted by women enjoying little treats and not breaking a sweat to you…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:35 PM
21

Why do men “gaslight” women about women’s body image issues? Because men will claim that women are responsible for their own body image issues, while plenty of men are actually quite brutal when it comes to mocking women who don’t fit their ideal. But simultaneously… it’s also true that nobody is more fixated on a man’s penis size or a woman’s body insecurities than himself or herself. And that people who spend their time making others feel insecure about their bodies are just jerks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:54 AM
6

100%. It seems that men want to be able to directly criticize women the way they might another man, but they absolutely do not take any direct communication from a woman well, unless it’s something they want to hear. It’s a one-way street. The women I choose as friends tend to kind but blunt, direct communicators (probably because I am neurodivergent and don’t always pick up on subtle cues someone would like to hang out.) They also tend to be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 12:07 PM
7

I was with you until… why is there an expectation of me fully providing everything? Usually there is NOT this expectation, and the way you view sex is definitely transactional. In most relationships, both people expect to have sex at fairly regular intervals unless there are extenuating circumstances or something is wrong. Frequency will naturally ebb and flow in a long-term relationship, but both people generally want to have a sex life. If one person does and the other doesn’t, you’re just not…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 01:41 AM
8

Can we get some specific examples? Otherwise I don’t think we can have “clear communication” on this post. Because there’s such a wide range of what might be considered clear vs rude, polite vs vague. Without examples, these words are meaningless. There’s also the fact that no matter how you communicate something, no guarantee someone will like what you’re communicating. For example, just because a man “prefers clear communication” doesn’t mean he wants to marry a woman who says “actually, your …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 12:33 AM
2

The new study, led by Dr Gerulf Rieger from the University of Essex and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, external, measured the arousal of women using eye tracking devices and direct measures of physiological sexual response. So, it seems that these studies were conducted in such a way as to measure subconscious responses, vs simply asking respondents if they find someone attractive or not. Nobody really knows why this is the case, but one theory is that it has to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:42 PM
33

So yes, for whatever reason, studies show straight women tend to show some level of arousal for other women, while lesbians don’t show arousal for men. source Now, I don’t agree with the framing in the article that this proves “no woman is totally straight,” that’s rather sensationalist and I don’t think reflects the complexity of the issue. For example, many women report having had a crush on the cartoon fox version of Robin Hood. This obviously doesn’t mean “women are into foxes,” rather, that…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:08 PM
5

Median. Average vs. Median: The median creator earns about $180/month, but this hides the fact that the majority earn very little, with some top earners making over $100k monthly. Top Earners: The top 1% earn a disproportionate share, with some reaching huge incomes by bringing large existing audiences from platforms like TikTok or Instagram.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 06:27 PM
1

From the female friend who doesn’t wanna date you, that’s probably right. From the woman who is already in a relationship with you and already finds you attractive, it means she is in love with you and wants a ring. Context matters immensely here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 04:28 PM
20

The average OF content creator makes $150-$180 a month. For perspective, that’s what I make doing online surveys in my spare time at zero cost to my reputation or mental health. The online sex work industry is oversaturated, and while there are creators making bank, they are minority of savvy businesswomen who spend just as much time marketing and recruiting as they do making content. It’s well, an industry, and no industry cares if you go into debt for them, quite frankly. Casinos are designed …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 01:42 PM
–

Red pillers seem to just automatically assume every woman was a total hoe before they met, while the average woman’s body count is statistically somewhere between 4 and 7 depending on what stats you’re looking at. So… I think they’d be in for some boring surprises if they could actually see women’s histories. But still chase the hotter women with higher body counts while whining the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 12:34 PM
5

I want to add that online sex work, while exponentially safer, also does not make anywhere near the amount of money for the amount of work that men think. Most OF girls make about $150/mo. To put it in perspective, about how much I make taking online surveys in my jammies each month. Those who are making bank are savvy businesswomen who spend more time marketing and recruiting than they do getting naked. They are also 100% not against lying to young women about how much they make and how easy it…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:41 PM
3

Are you sure you replied to the right comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:22 PM
10

Generally speaking, the most “enthusiastic” sex is going to take place during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Sex with someone you don’t know very well = novel and exciting, but most enjoyment (at least for her) is killed by nerves and awkwardness and lack of familiarity with each other’s bodies. Sex during the honeymoon phase of a relationship = passionate, still have the excitement aspect but also have an emotional connection and are learning what works for each other. Sex when you’ve b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 02:26 AM
6

What does a hot, vivacious young woman get out of submitting to a man who finds her “not unbearable” and washing his dirty socks for him? Asking for “submissive” immediately skyrockets the standards for YOU, as now you have to be highly trustworthy, responsible, unselfish, reliable, and capable, beyond the normal standards for a functional adult, or her life will be a nightmare. Don’t want to share housework? Now your income requirement has gone up if she doesn’t want to either be exhausted or i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:37 PM
5

Well you can feel that way, but this is something you’re simply never going to get everybody on the same page with, and people are rarely consistent with anything their whole lives because that’s just not how humans are. It’s ultimately an emotion-based philosophy of “someone else got a cookie sooner than me and it’s not fair,” with no basis in a logical dating strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 07:43 PM
4

The first issue I have with this is the assumption that a woman being willing to sleep with a man early on is any sort of reliable indicator of genuine attraction. It’s more of an indicator that she is promiscuous, not very invested in you for whatever reason, and/or drunk. Men tend to assume a woman’s behavior is far more about them than it really is most of the time, and overlook her internal reasons for doing whatever she’s doing. For example, the only time I had casual hookups was after a br…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 06:46 PM
23

I don’t see men getting more emotionally intelligent necessarily, more just using therapy speak to be manipulative and complain about women. And yes, women too, lot more people in general weaponizing therapy terms they don’t really understand or care to. Things like calling disagreement “gaslighting” or making demands “boundaries.” Now, if we’re talking men taking abuse like yelling and hitting seriously now instead of pretending it’s somehow normal for women and not a threat, that’s absolutely …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:02 AM
8

I didn’t switch any genders, I included both. A man being willing to wait for sex is generally a better indicator of interest for women than the other way around, because it’s more rare for men to want to delay sex and get to know someone first. This does not, however, mean the reverse is true — that a woman wanting to delay sex indicates lack of interest. Not everything is always exact opposites with men and women. Generally, I was always more apt to want to wait on sex if I really liked a guy,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:26 AM
1

Nope, perhaps the wording was a bit unclear, but you misread it. Not “[a woman] that is willing to settle instead of being single,” rather, “most men can’t get a hot woman who’s their type, and [the men] are willing to settle instead of be single.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 01:40 AM
4

Because when men treat everything that has to do with actual human connection with a woman as a price to be paid for sex, women assume the connection part isn’t wanted. All the bouncing back and forth between “I don’t just want sex, I am lonely and crave intimacy,” and “I don’t want to have to deal with all that BS just to get laid,” only starts to make sense when you realize it’s not about sex nor intimacy. It’s about validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 01:30 AM
5

I didn’t say women settle, I said men settle, according to themselves. I’m going to take it that this random string of angry nonsense essentially agrees with my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:13 AM
1

So gotta ask, have you ever dated a woman who was actually okay with this criminal investigation-style dating process? Or is this all hypothetical?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:28 PM
3

Never said women don’t crave variety to a degree. But I would say men are more likely to continue craving variety after they’ve settled down. I can only speak for myself for sure, but at this point in life I find the idea of a new partner stressful vs exciting. This isn’t a “not actually attracted to men” thing as I’m bisexual and feel the same about women. I notice them sure, but don’t feel the need to go further than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:24 PM
2

But if you don’t find that, you don’t have evidence it didn’t happen. And if you’re at the point of obsession to hire the PI in the first place? Let’s be real, you’ll never be satisfied that it didn’t, so no point in trying to have a relationship really.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:37 PM
1

Most women are not nearly as willing to sleep next to a man every night who they wouldn’t want to wake up next to one time as men here would have you believe. Main difference between men and women here is that women won’t lower their physical standards for a hookup like men will. Doesn’t mean we see men who don’t meet those physical standards as “husband material.” This is one of those phrases that can have very different meanings depending on who’s saying it and why. Like if you have a female f…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:32 PM
1

I mean they could find out things like if she’s been married before, and some of the people she’s dated, sure. But if they claim they can find out if she slept with her ex on the first or third date or two months later… you’re getting screwed harder by that PI than she ever has by anyone.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:01 PM
10

Well it seems to me that men here are often projecting their dissatisfaction with their partners onto women, or at least not acknowledging that they expect a level of desire from their partners that they don’t reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:48 PM
3

Which is something you can never know, so any guy who’s too hung up on that idea is going to have a rough time dating, whether she’s more sexually conservative or adventurous.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:13 PM
5

I’ve heard of the concept but don’t think the way it’s framed is entirely accurate, nor that it only applies to wives. When you see someone every day for a long time, you stop “seeing” them as much. Both their flaws and assets become less noticeable. Gradual physical changes are not jarring and are unlikely to repulse you, but I wouldn’t say that equals attraction necessarily. But this applies just as much to husbands. I recall my mom saying something along the lines of “I can’t imagine dating a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:08 PM
25

This is why women look for signs that a man is into her that have nothing to do with sex. A man being willing to NOT have sex with her for a certain length of time is a better indicator of interest. But according to men here, that means she isn’t attracted, which I don’t agree with at all. I’d say both men and women very much have the capacity to wait when they are interested in someone and see more potential than just a hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:30 PM
2

Interesting perspective, and I will concede that despite what this sub would lead us to believe, there are a lot of men who do not seem to have a problem with dating women who are very open with their sexuality. Women who might be called, well, “sluts.” I do believe these men may be okay with what you’re claiming to some extent, since women deemed “sluts” do not, in reality, seem to have issues getting into LTRs. However, these are not the same men who are obsessing over women’s pasts and worryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:40 PM
11

Okay so since he’ll never be convinced she didn’t date a “bad boy with a better dick” before, let’s assume she did. Would he feel better if instead she swiped right on 1000 guys’ Tinder profiles before his, and only went on a date with him because he bit? Slept with several fat dudes in college she didn’t want her friends to find out about as “practice” for a future boyfriend? Pretended to want to be friends with a football player and helped him with homework in hopes he’d want to date her? Regu…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:07 PM
2

That doesn’t contradict the fact that men and women are different. It’s true that both men and women will be disappointed if they want raw, unbridled desire from a partner who only has eyes for them, but for different reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:35 PM
8

I thought this post made it pretty clear that men and women are very different and do in fact seek different things in a partner. Which is why men should not be seeking a male-typical display of sexuality in women unless they’re willing to accept that women with male-typical sexuality are, like men, not particularly monogamous in their desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:10 PM
8

Correct, if we’re talking about overall level of horniness. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about “desire for one’s partner vs desire for other people.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:04 PM
17

My point isn’t that women are drooling over 60yr old men. Rather, that men are usually not any more attracted to their female partners proportionally to their attraction to other women than women are to their male partners… probably less. So complaints about not getting “raw lust” or the possibility she was more attracted to some other guy 10yrs ago, seem rather ironic given that most men don’t have raw lust for their partners and are currently more attracted to many, many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:46 PM
33

I don’t disagree with you that most men love their partners and are attracted to them. Rather, my point is that most women also love their partners and are attracted to them, but that doesn’t seem to be good enough for a lot of the men here who are incredibly paranoid that she might’ve been more attracted to some other man at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:10 PM
2

I really hate to bring up the coconut story, but… let’s just say the things some men get erections for and are willing to fuck don’t even have to be women, or alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:45 AM
–

Well if you’re not wanting to count “remembering birthdays” and “makes the doctors appointments” because it’s not all the time, can’t really count “repairs, car stuff, and long-term planning” because that’s also not all the time. And if you don’t want to count “shared-benefit tasks,” you also can’t count going to work, because single people also have to go to work. I’m not saying that women ALWAYS contribute more. But in a relationship where both people are working approximately 40hrs a week, I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:20 AM
1

This is one of those things where it totally depends on the woman. Some almost exclusively care about money, some don’t care at all, most care about some level of financial stability but will not go for a man only based on money. A rich man who doesn’t look good and isn’t pleasant to be around will never be single for long, but will only attract gold diggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 08:19 PM
17

Is this the study you’re trying to link to? We conduct an experiment to investigate how the gender composition of an audience interacts with the gender of a player thereby shaping her/his degree of responsibility in decision-making. Together with the measures of accountability based on decision theory, we employ two physiological measures, blood pressure and heart rate variability, which allow us to disentangle the separate effects of stress and accountability. Our results show that men are more…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:19 PM
8

It would be nice if moral could at least be a partial criterion for choosing a partner. It is for many women, but then men complain that women don’t have “raw lust” for them if they care about that, or that they can’t get the same amount of casual hookups as better looking men they see as less moral. It’s like they want us to have raw lust for morals, even though that’s certainly not how they’re choosing women, at least for short-term. Maybe you don’t feel this way, but it’s a common sentiment h…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 10:04 PM
9

It’s not that people don’t think good people deserve recognition, but rather, that recognition =/= sex. When some guy helps you out at work, do you pull down your pants and bend over? When your buddy helps you fix your car, do you give him a blowjob? That’s the problem here. Women don’t receive any greater recognition or reward for being nice than men do, and for both genders, sometimes it’s nothing at all. At one point I was tying myself in knots for people who didn’t seem to care about me the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 08:08 PM
2

Men would be happier if they didn’t believe ANYONE was a “prize.” Because they’re not. That doesn’t mean having a partner isn’t worth it if they’re right for you, not at all. But nobody is a prize, we’re all just people with flaws and good points, some more compatible with you than others. Viewing either yourself or others as a prize is delusional and mildly dehumanizing to everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:10 PM
1

In a scenario where dad wants to take custody of the baby but mom doesn’t, yes she’d have to pay child support because that’s how it works now with children who are already born. I would foresee more women being willing to surrender custody of a child they’d never met vs one they gave birth to (either through adoption or to the father), but I don’t foresee more men wanting this option for the same reasons they don’t want primary custody of their kids now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:47 PM
2

We (try to) force men pay a certain percentage of their income to support the child, but not to care for the child. Very few fathers want custody. For those who do have custody, moms have to pay child support too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:02 AM
1

If we want to be cynical about it, I think it is (or was) more a way to beg a woman to accept the drudgery of married life, if anything. Because it’s not as if anyone is forcing men to propose. Marriage has never been a requirement for a majority of men, while the same can’t be said for women. Now, in modern society, obviously neither men nor women have to marry or face an immense amount of social pressure to do so. Such traditions as kneeling to propose are just a romanticized holdover from the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:00 AM
5

Is it really about “visual cues” or more the fact that men are more inclined to view women’s bodies as either private or public property? Because the counterpart to emotional infidelity would be physical infidelity (things like sex or kissing), not wearing an outfit someone thinks shows too much skin. So you can’t really compare the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:49 PM
3

The only time I’d care is at work because, well, most employers wouldn’t take kindly to that. Otherwise, if he wants to show off fitness progress or is just feelin’ himself, I wouldn’t care and don’t think most women would as long as he’s faithful. Now, if you throw in things like suddenly “working late,” hiding his phone, general sus behavior along with suddenly getting into good shape, that’s when red flags go up. But not usually just “he’s not covering up enough!”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:48 PM
7

He was still doing it for himself, not the neighbors, and a lot of times women wear less in the summer for the same reasons. Some men also go shirtless because they’re proud of their bodies and that’s okay too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:57 PM
46

The equivalent would be a man taking his shirt off to do yard work, his wife doesn’t like that the neighbors have “visual access” to her husband’s body, and the husband simply states that he took his shirt off because he was too hot and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the neighbors. I don’t know about you, but I’d be on his side in this argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 03:10 PM
11

When women claim they are “sapio or demisexual” meaning their #1 trigger for arousal is based on “intelligence and an emotional connection” we say thats “beautiful’. lol No, men say either “you’re lying,” “you’re hypergamous,” “your standards are too high,” “that’s just another way of saying you’re a gold digger.” You simply can’t spend more than a couple hours on this sub and conclude that men’s attraction triggers are the only ones getting shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:57 PM
2

If we get to the point where a fetus or embryo can be extracted and artificially sustained outside of a womb, I would see little reason for abortion… as long as there were enough people able and willing to adopt. That’s the issue. Someone has to take care of a child once they are born, and that’s not something we can or should try to force people to do. That’s how you get child abuse and neglect. So I’d say as long as you have adoptive parents lined up for the fetus being removed, no need to abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:20 PM
–

I of course can’t say for sure, but I very much suspect these are imagined rejections vs actual rejections.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 01:52 PM
7

From the time I thought I was ready to date/have sex as a teen to the time I did, about two years. I was too shy, weird, and pimply to date. After I got less socially awkward and did start dating, my longest would be like six months, partially due to my choice. And don’t ask me why I “think I can empathize with a man having a dry streak,” because I can’t. I’m not a man. I can sympathize in a “that sucks” sort of way, but I really think men need to stop seeking empathy from women on this topic an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 01:59 AM
0

It doesn’t take any psychic powers to notice that a man who was once nice to you while he was pretending to be a friend is now being a total dick after he found out you’re not going to sleep with him. He was nice, until he wasn’t. If she’d known all along, she never would’ve been friends with him ya know? Same goes for abusive relationships. They’re nice until it’s going to be hard for you to leave. Most red flags are only noticeable in hindsight.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 02:15 AM
1

I simply do not believe that most women have done sober hookups with these super hot guys who just had to show up. Most women I’d say had a couple of hookups with guys they found attractive (but not really more so than guys they dated), the main difference being that… both of them were drunk. Same way that yes, there are model-pretty women who get men paying for fine dining or flying them out to exotic locations, but how many men have really done this? Some, sure, but it’s not a universal life e…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:49 PM
11

Gold digging, yes, sugar babies, yes. Prostitution with extra steps. The rest, not so much. If I lost my job, I would expect my husband to stay as long as I was actively looking for another one and contributing in other ways in the meantime. But I would not expect him to stay with someone who was just sitting at home watching him go to work and then come home and do everything else. Leaving in that situation would not make him a “prostitute,” it would be just not wanting to care for an adult chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 06:55 PM
13

I don’t think most young men are really that comfortable in their bodies anymore. Social media has made everyone insecure. EDs and surgery obsessions among men have become a real issue, you can see it in “looksmaxxing” communities and even just in the fitness community. Now, middle aged and older men? Yes, because they never grew up with such focus on and criticism of their bodies. The same isn’t true for older women who grew up with diet culture and immense pressure to be skinny, which they ten…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:03 PM
2

Well then I wouldn’t say you suck at painting, but for some reason must not be good at painting dogs… but still couldn’t tell you why or how to improve unless I could see the dog paintings. Someone would need to see how you’re flirting or at least get specific examples to begin to give you specific advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:46 PM
1

So first of all, I’m not against insurance/socialized healthcare covering cosmetic procedures in some cases. If a licensed mental health professional determines that someone is experiencing significant distress from a certain feature or body part and is not merely addicted to cosmetic surgery, I think it should be covered. Trans people have to go through this process to get their procedures covered, and it makes sense others would have to as well. However, hair transplants are not gender-affirmi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 08:19 PM
1

Oh for sure, men tend to be much less vocally misogynistic irl because everyone is bolder behind a screen. But you can’t really claim that women perceive misogyny as confidence if the misogyny part is hidden, ya know, and that’s what I thought this post was about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:47 PM
3

This post is like saying “nobody is buying my paintings, why?” on Reddit, without showing the paintings, and then getting upset when people say “you’re probably not that good of an artist” but can’t tell you step by step what brush strokes to make to produce a painting people want to buy. Social skills and flirting are very much like art in the sense that most people have an innate sense of good and not so good art but cannot precisely define what makes art good or bad, the skills can be taught …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 12:35 PM
1

I would say that misogyny is mistaken for confidence by men and attractive to men, at least in online spaces. I don’t know of any internet personality who espouses misogynistic viewpoints who has much of a female following, but men definitely eat that shit up.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:11 AM
6

Wait till men find out they, too, can use power tools.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:42 AM
1

Usually men who talk about “bad boys” are not talking about “notorious felons” either. They’re talking about… some basic frat bro who they see as less moral because he’s doing exactly what they would be doing if they were better looking and more outgoing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:25 AM
4

If you go back and re-read my original comment, I never claimed men’s selfishness was the main reason for the orgasm gap. Rather, that it usually has more to do with ignorance and sexual habits learned from porn vs selfishness. There is a difference between saying “most people’s (men’s and women’s) concept of sex is male-centric” vs “men are selfish (deliberately, as individuals).” Because I think most men absolutely want their partners to orgasm, they just have an incorrect, deeply engrained id…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 01:56 AM
9

I know for a fact some lesbians/bi women also don’t like to receive oral, although yes it’s generally the main event (I’m a bi woman). But if it’s not oral, then usually toys are gonna be involved… in other words, both women’s pleasure is centered, depending on what each likes. And imo this is often what’s missing from hetero sex, it’s not that the man is “being selfish” on purpose, but both people’s concept of what “sex” is, is dick-centric.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 01:49 AM
5

why are men still able to orgasm from boring old IRL sex? Most women don’t look like porn stars, but most do perform like them to an extent nowadays I’d say since that’s what men expect. Which also makes it harder to orgasm when you’re trying to put on a performance vs being in the moment. Also, regardless of porn sex or not, any kind of penetrative sex consistently stimulates the penis, but not the clitoris. All this being said, it does seem to be that more young men are having issues with ED t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 01:42 AM
23

“Lesbian Women: Report significantly higher orgasm rates (around 75-86%) than heterosexual women, often closer to men's rates.” So… men are definitely a factor here, sorry. Now, of course women have women parts and men don’t, so I wouldn’t always attribute to selfishness what can be attributed to ignorance. And yes, communication plays a role in getting rid of ignorance. However, to assume that men are always going to listen vs default to what I’d call the “porn script” is also not accurate imo.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 09:16 PM
–

Divorce rates are not rising though, they are falling. I would say that yes, women are more acutely aware of the risks of having a child with a man these days, and also the fact they are no longer forced into it by lack of birth control or social pressures. But the main reason for falling birth rates are that children are now a major economic liability, and we have rising cost of living combined with stagnant wages. Plus you have the fact that the standards of being a good parent nowadays are mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:51 PM
2

Oddly enough, I only know women who sent hubby back to school, and yeah, it never ended well. The women I know who went back to school had their degrees paid for by their employers through adult education programs, and it didn’t/doesn’t seem to be negatively impacting their marriages. Of course this is just my limited anecdotal experience… like yours. I would say paying for a spouse’s degree can be either a really good or really bad idea depending on endless factors, like what your relationship …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:47 PM
1

Because usually, these men did not just out of the blue develop feelings for someone they had zero romantic interest in originally. They already found her attractive and probably would’ve asked her out early on in the friendship if they weren’t afraid to shoot their shot, but instead opted to play the long game, hoping their friendship history would work in their favor. And along the way, they developed feelings for someone they were already interested in back when she was an acquaintance. It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:26 AM
2

There is no particular surefire way to tell if someone is flirting because people have different baseline behaviors. But I would say usually, the most common sign is actually being a little awkward with you but still being excited to talk to and hang out with you whenever she gets the chance. Some signs she is NOT interested and just sees you as a friend I’d say are easier to identify. Some would include talking about other guys she’s interested in, relaxed in terms of her appearance and behavio…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:29 PM
4

Yes, if someone develops feelings, best to just be open about it and not try to continue the friendship if they’re not also interested. It’s just best to make romantic intentions known before it gets to be a close friendship in the first place if those intentions are already present.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:28 PM
19

How long have they been friends? What sort of friendship is it (casual or close)? Has she been flirting/giving signs of interest or is it strictly platonic? Because no, women do not like it when a good platonic friend they’ve grown attached to as a friend suddenly drops a bomb that he has feelings for her. Because now if she doesn’t feel the same, she’s going to have to hurt his feelings and things will become awkward between them at best, or he will become angry and aggressive at worst. It feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:17 PM
16

So… Jude made assumptions about his friend and chose to do certain things for her, likely in hopes that she might want to date him eventually, even though there was no reason to think that? If you just change Jude’s friend’s gender, it becomes immediately obvious why this is ridiculous. “Jude thought that his friend Jeff was a quiet, studious virgin who didn’t drink. He helped Jeff study, told him jokes, went on walks with him. Then one night he tagged along with him to the club and found out Je…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 03:18 PM
1

Incels generally do not seem to count hiring a prostitute as making them no longer an incel. They are seeking validation through sex, not just sex itself. As far as I’m aware, in countries where it’s legal, not much has actually changed in terms of men being happier or prostitutes being safer.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 06:36 AM
2

From what I can see, there are just as many men as women who dislike their partners spending time with friends and those who don’t, this is very much an individual thing. And if your theory were correct, this would not account for why single men would have fewer friends than single women. Women very generally speaking simply tend to nurture relationships more. This includes family relationships too. Once again though, it’s very individual. As a neurodivergent woman, I do not have many friends, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 05:49 AM
13

I don’t see women becoming sole “providers” because I don’t see men ever wanting to be primary caregivers and to have to solely depend on someone else for money. Women also generally do not view having control over another person as worth having to financially support that person. And last but most importantly, it’s simply not economically feasible for most households to have only one provider anymore and I don’t see this changing. I expect the pattern of both partners having jobs and fewer peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:48 AM
11

I consider myself fairly progressive, and I’m married to a bisexual man. He’s been with a trans woman before, so have I… and I really couldn’t care less who my partner has been with as long as they’re not into like serial killers, or underage kids, and don’t have an insane body count. (The last one just being a subjective preference.) I would agree that some “progressive” women can be hypocritical about certain things and perhaps aren’t always as progressive as they appear. I’m not a fan of perf…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 03:02 AM
10

Because this is what some women do with their girl friends/gay guy friends, and since you’re a platonic friend, she doesn’t see that much difference. If a woman were like “Why do my guy friends burp and fart and talk about hot chicks in front of me? I might be a friend but I’m a LADY,” I might question if she should really have guy friends since it sounds more like she’s looking for a girl friend, or at least guy friends who are a little more reserved. You might also want to consider if you real…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:45 AM
1

I wouldn’t say either is worse. I however am not convinced that there are more women not attracted to their husbands than the other way around. Men just have higher sex drives, but don’t seem to be genuinely attracted to more women really. That being said, everyone gets old and ugly, so nah I take that back… not liking their personality IS worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:42 PM
1

More that women fear not being chosen for anything to do with who they are as a person. Average women do fear their husbands don’t really find them attractive, but attractive women also fear that men don’t care about anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:56 PM
1

If you mean “women want a man who isn’t too physically unattractive,” yes of course. But my point is not that men should be less picky and choose women who they find physically unattractive, rather that most should probably be pickier about personality for LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:00 PM
1

Most women also look for other qualities in a man in addition to meeting a baseline of looks. Which often translates to accusations of being “too picky,” but the alternative (ending up married to someone who doesn’t even like you) isn’t good either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:51 PM
4

Well I wouldn’t expect to be anyone’s perfect partner, because I don’t believe that exists, since humans are flawed and people are way too complex to be perfectly compatible with anyone else. However, what I would say is that women fear being chosen for simply not being too physically unattractive and being easygoing enough, by a man who doesn’t really care to get to know them and will eventually start showing his disdain after they already are married with children. Because this seems to be a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:50 AM
1

Anyone who’s ever actually watched children overnight is laughing like crazy at the “children sleep at night” part.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:18 AM
2

Not reading all this nonsense, but the fact you used Don and Betty Draper to illustrate your point is hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:30 PM
–

I definitely agree if she’s taking issue with video games as a normal hobby. People like that tend to just… not have much of a sense of fun and take life too seriously. I’d say a majority of millennial and gen z women also game. Now, of course the caveat is that any hobby that starts to eat away from time that really needs to be dedicated to one’s adult responsibilities, becomes a problem. If you both work and she’s making dinner and doing the dishes every night while you game, yes that’s a prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:03 PM
1

Simply swap gender with race, religion, or sexual orientation and you’ll answer your own question.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:28 AM
1

Porn brain is not just being interested in hookups. Porn brain is sexualizing everything and/or always trying to jump straight to acting out porn scenes in the bedroom. Here’s an example: A man comments “Looks like you want me to jam my cock down your throat” on a nonsexual photo where your mouth is open in surprise and then being offended when you don’t find that sexy. That’s porn brain. The most common form of porn brain, however, is thinking that women actually enjoy what you see in most porn…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 10:52 PM
–

They have a different definition of “good man.” They don’t factor in things like considerate, funny, sociable, generous, or fun to be with. It’s more just “man who doesn’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” like beat women. To be fair, I’d call what you’re talking about more “man with a good personality,” since it’s not like you have to be funny to be a good person. However, I would say that it’s kinda interesting how suddenly when a man’s daughter starts dating, he agrees there are very few good men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 10:30 PM
5

I don’t know about that, I’ve thought “uh why are you telling me this?” many times when talking to men. Men love to talk about themselves and many have very little filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 06:27 PM
1

This is more than fine with most women. However, I don’t think this shift has been a result of feminism nearly as much as it’s just part of our culture shifting away from in-person interaction. Like my first thought was young people have not hung out in malls since back when I was a young teen, and most are now closed or ghost towns. Both young men and women alike are uncomfortable interacting with strangers because it’s no longer typical. They were raised by the internet and lost 2yrs to COVID.…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 05:31 PM
4

Agreed. It’s natural not to want to be desired only for the money or labor you provide. However, how you treat people is a huge part of who you are, so to say you want to be “wanted for who you are” while not having to treat other people well, just does not add up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:13 PM
0

Most men are really more complex than dudes online give themselves credit for. Believe it or not, you’re not banned from the gym when you go to therapy, or vice versa. There are different levels of cocky, some endearing and some insufferable. And in my experience, men frequently overestimate their own niceness compared to other men. Y’all are ALL nice during the courting stage, and then either turn neutral or become a dick later on. That’s the key difference and not something you’re going to kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:09 AM
5

There is no real difference between clitoral and PIV orgasms besides what part of the clitoris is being stimulated to lead to the orgasm (if you look at a medical diagram, a large portion of the clitoris is inside the body, and this is why some women can orgasm from vaginal stimulation). Personally, orgasms don’t especially make me feel emotionally connected to a partner, it’s more just the physical closeness that comes with sex, along with the emotional closeness that comes with talking to and …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 09:46 PM
4

After a certain age/amount of experience, sure. But when you’re young, awkward, maybe not sure if you’re just expecting too much, certainly not baffling why someone might not say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 01:38 AM
20

Both men and women should openly communicate to their partner when something isn’t working for them. And while I wouldn’t say it’s wrong for either men or women to generally vent about how people are bad in bed, it’s also not going to solve the problem like direct communication can. So if men genuinely feel like they’re not getting much out of sex due to certain things women are doing wrong, sure, let’s talk about it. But if it’s just to “get back at women” for not being satisfied in bed… well t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:49 PM
1

Weird hill to die on. This is like saying “Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer related deaths in the US, and 80% of lung cancer cases can be attributed to smoking. But we need to break down exactly how many of those are from smoking cigarettes, pipe tobacco, cigars, etc., otherwise this data is meaningless!”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:34 PM
3

Don’t really see how the chaser/chasee dynamic has anything to do with icks. They also don’t have anything to do with “bringing the person down a few notches,” that’s negging. Icks are just something that puts you off for no easily-explainable reason. I would say icks are more related to someone’s personality than anything… some people have a more sensitive “disgust” response than others. Most people will have experienced it once or twice, but if it’s a frequent occurrence I’d say it reflects a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:47 AM
3

Red pill women generally do not want to date red pill men. They’re looking for sort of a modern version of a traditional man, at least from my impression. Trad guys think marriage and family is important, often for religious or social reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:20 AM
1

This heavily depends on the ages and specific circumstances of the people involved. Yes, there can be a power imbalance if for example you have a 40yr old woman who’s convinced a 80yr old man in early dementia stages that she loves him for his personality and to leave his children’s inheritance to her. However, if you’re talking about a 20yr old and a 30yr old, the 30yr old almost certainly has more socioeconomic power and life experience, and “well the younger person might cheat 15yrs from now …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:09 PM
0

First of all, men are humans beings with their own agency capable of making their own choices, not a product. Second, even if we’re gonna use this poor metaphor, what is sold is definitely not all about what the buyer really wants. It’s often about selling the lowest quality product possible that will work just until after the warranty expires, at the highest price people will still buy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:42 PM
1

First off, for most women, there’s no way a partner can “guarantee” an orgasm, since her state of mind matters. Even if you know each other’s bodies well and really care about her pleasure, sometimes brains and bodies just have other ideas. Same way a lot of guys who don’t chronically have ED occasionally have issues with that, especially during stressful times in life. So I’d start with: Mood and timing. Women generally need more time than men to switch from “work/task mode” to “sexy mode,” so …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 04:33 AM
3

Yes, thank you for bringing up the switching positions thing. Nothing wrong with switching it up a few times if you’ve got plenty of time, but I feel like a lot of men don’t realize that all the switching you see in porn is for the audience and tends to make it very difficult for women to have an orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:30 AM
2

Men are more likely to tolerate most things not related to looks. This doesn’t mean they’ll actually like or have any respect for the ignorant woman, but will hang around as long as they find her attractive and she tolerates the disrespect.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 11:24 PM
1

Well the argument that women are “not into men” is ridiculous to begin with. However, I would argue that being a side chick or staying in abusive relationship often stems more from a woman’s own issues than there being anything special about the man. If your theory were correct, only the most handsome men would have side chicks or get away with being abusive, and (unfortunately) that is just not true. I’d say handsome guys are more likely to have side chicks, but that looks aren’t much of a fact…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 10:13 PM
0

When we talk about women centering men, it usually has to do with prioritizing a man’s needs over their own. When we talk about men centering women, this is not typically the case, it’s more about chasing women for social points or wanting a woman for what she can do for them. In other words, women don’t actually benefit from men “centering” them in the same way men benefit from the reverse. Women benefit more from a man who centers himself so she doesn’t have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 08:56 PM
5

I’m going mostly by this sub, not an algorithm. Now to be fair there are more men on the sub, however, women do air their own grievances. And it’s rarely about age gaps or passport bros unless a man is literally asking what they think.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 08:29 PM
2

This implies that a high-tech, success-driven society is somehow objectively superior to a homesteading community (which likely would also include technological advancement, just at a slower rate). Given that depression and anxiety are at an all-time high in our tech-driven society, and many privileged people (men and women) are opting for the homestead lifestyle, I don’t think is universally true. The Amish live in socialist, low-tech communities, and while I wouldn’t say this way of life is su…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:54 PM
8

As long as old men make up a majority of lawmakers, the risk of that happening is less than zero. I also don’t think that most women (and men) who find age gaps gross actually want to legislate it the way that religious people who think homosexuality is a sin want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:30 PM
13

Why care about a person’s opinions regarding homosexuality, modesty, and so on? Because these kinds of religious views can have real-world legislative impacts. For example, just over ten years ago, same-sex marriage was not legal in all 50 states, and religious objections were a huge reason why. Conversely, there is no large-scale push to outlaw age gaps between adult partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:23 PM
3

I would say the differences in how men and women care about money are a holdover from the past where men were expected to provide and women either didn’t earn money or earned very little, vs really having anything to do with “lizard brain” attraction to money. Women tend to seek successful partners for the same sorts of practical reasons men do, it has just historically been more important for women to do so. “Lizard brain” tends to refer to an evolutionary stage where money did not exist, so pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:17 PM
37

So you mean like how some men always have to insist fat women are disgusting despite there being a not-insignificant minority of men who are especially into fat women? Or men who insist promiscuous women are disgusting despite once again, there being plenty of men who don’t care. By your definition, this is also like religious fundamentalism. And really in all cases, it always seems to be men who bring it up first. It’s always “Why are women against age gap relationships?” very rarely “I’m a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 01:25 PM
0

If a man told me he’d had a vasectomy when he had not, I would consider that a type of fraud, but not rape. Why? Because I could still say “cool but I don’t know you like that, I still want us to use a condom.” Stealthing or poking holes in condoms is on a different level from lying about one’s own birth control or fertility status, since you’re sabotaging someone else’s choice to use birth control. Stealthing and tampering also can leave physical evidence of deception, while you can only really…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 09:55 AM
4

I can see AI partners replacing both men and women for very specific types of people. Namely, those who are either very lonely, or those who need to be able to control everything and really can’t stand to have an autonomous human partner. In other words, people who already aren’t or shouldn’t be on the dating market. Most people don’t see a robot as a replacement for a partner for the same sorts of reasons they don’t see sex workers as a replacement for sex you don’t pay for. My only real concer…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:07 AM
2

The explanation is very simple — benevolent sexism was never something that was intended as a plot by women to “subjugate” men. It also is not just a survival mechanism of women, although it sometimes functions that way. What it is, is a product of society seeing wombs as valuable resources, and competition between men for those resources. Take the example of men paying on a date. First of all, this tradition started because most women didn’t have paid jobs, and most men did not want them to. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 07:56 PM
2

“Settle” in what way? Single moms are the last people who should settle for less in terms of a man who treats her well and is good to her children. Relationships become higher stakes when there are kids involved because it’s not just your own well-being at risk anymore. Far better to be single a long time than expose your kids to a questionable person. But if you mean “don’t settle for a guy who isn’t a 6’4” gym bro working in finance without any kids of his own,” well, that’s her choice, and be…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:41 PM
5

People always argue against what they think you’re saying, because there is no way to argue against anything else. If someone has misunderstood your argument, you have to clarify. Now if you’re talking about changing subjects, derailing arguments, going on tangents, that’s also something both genders do.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:36 AM
2

Well yeah IF he asks fairly soon. Dating a casual friend/someone in your social group is not a bad idea at all. But what people are usually talking about is when guys act like a close friend for months to years before one day springing it on you that they want more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:17 AM
2

The purpose of dating is getting to know someone with the intent that you might want to have a romantic/sexual relationship with them if it goes well. There is no requirement with dating that you try to fuck on the third date or that you will in fact get into a relationship with said person. But clarifying that you see it as a date vs “hanging out” can save a lot of pain for two people. That way you find out right away if she’s not attracted to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 10:24 PM
10

9/10 times she was a woman they had at least some interest in dating to start with, but they were too chicken to ask out, hoping that she’d make the first move if they hung around long enough. Now he feels a sense of investment and is upset she doesn’t feel the same, while she feels somewhat deceived and also guilty for having to turn him down. Usually nothing nefarious on either side, but unwise on his part and often painful for both.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 09:40 PM
2

There is a big difference between being honest that “men are not natural protectors” and claiming that all men are obliged to protect all women under all circumstances and they’re bad if they don’t. Studies show women are more likely to intervene in a situation where another woman needs help. This doesn’t mean men never do. People are people, there is going to be natural variation in behavior and in-group biases. Men tend to be protective of their families, but some also a danger to their famili…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 07:04 PM
5

It’s always men bringing it up, same as with the passport bros thing. “Why don’t women like this?” Idk maybe because you won’t shut up about it and are always insulting to women in the process?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:46 PM
19

Except when women do communicate directly, men will say the date “felt like a job interview.” Neurotypicals in general, men and women, tend to be offended when asked direct questions about anything beyond small talk stuff. Now, personally, I believe in asking certain key compatibility questions fairly early, after you know you like each other’s company but before getting too invested. These include things like “do you want kids one day?” “what are your attitudes about marriage?” and “what are yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:18 PM
1

Sexuality is neither good nor bad innately. In its most simple form, sexual pleasure and orgasm is just a positive human experience whether it’s by yourself or with a consenting partner. In fact, one of the few joys in life that doesn’t negatively affect your health or your wallet! And it also happens to be how we reproduce, so unless you think humans should go extinct (which I don’t agree with but there is an argument to be made there), kinda important. It’s attaching excessive ego to sexuality…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:53 PM
6

People didn’t start having less sex because of feminism. Feminism picked up heavily in the boomer generation and continued strong through gen x and millennials… and all three of those generations were getting it on a LOT compared to both former generations and gen z. Gen z is having less sex because they are socializing less. Many reasons for this including the internet/phones/streaming services, COVID during critical social development years, everything being expensive, changing attitudes towar…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:11 PM
1

I agree there are a lot of entitled parents, and I’d say most people, childfree or not, are annoyed by parents who are letting their children be out of control, screaming, running around wild in public and not doing much about it. But I’ve also come across some who are mad there just happens to be a child being a normal child in a certain non-adults only spaces like restaurants or airplanes, asserting that parents shouldn’t go out to eat with their kids or there need to be separate family areas …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 07:50 PM
2

I don’t see much hate for single moms coming from women, it’s almost all… men who don’t like women much in general. It sounds like you might be talking about anti-natalists, or that certain type of childfree people who seem to think they should never be subjected to seeing a child in public. Those come in both genders, and tend to be hostile toward mothers and children in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 02:58 AM
1

Mainly because it’s not easy money, most women on there make less than I do per month taking surveys in my spare time with my clothes on. Those who do make a good living are either very attractive or fit a specific niche, and also have worked very hard to get where they are. Anything like that is a full-time marketing job, at least in the beginning, and I already have a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 12:00 AM
7

This is the equivalent of a 60yr old obese lesbian woman saying she is going on a sex strike from men after Trump won.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 11:54 PM
–

I rarely see a post from a woman here that rivals men’s incoherent angry ramblings, but congrats, this one does.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:53 PM
3

So first off, I’d say most of the time it starts with fathers not taking an active role because they don’t want to and/or are socialized to believe it’s primarily the mother’s job to care for them. Now what can happen as a result of that, is mom doesn’t really trust dad to take care of the kids since he hasn’t shown much responsibility in this regard. A lot of dads these days spend quite a bit of time with their kids compared to fathers in the past, but it tends to be play-oriented time, not so …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:11 PM
–

Usually when men say this, they aren’t referring to a woman being late for work. Usually it’s a vague statement that comes down to “women need to date me and act the way I want.” What you’re talking about here isn’t strictly gendered in any way, it’s individual. For every woman who is chronically late and thinks she deserves a promotion there’s a man, possibly three, who is chronically late and thinks he deserves a promotion. I do not think men have been “socialized to take responsibility early …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 11:56 AM
1

These men are only “high value” in those Certain Bubbles you’re talking about. Most people are not rich, the men with “cool instagrams” are your gay besties, and “high value” means he makes a living wage and isn’t a total douche canoe. Would the vast majority of men cheat if they could be 100% sure they could get away with it? Yes. But decent guys don’t want to take that risk for the same reason they don’t shoot up heroin or rob a convenience store or gamble their life savings. The ability to we…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:33 AM
3

The question to ask here is what exactly is the right offering young men, objectively? Has your life improved in any way since Trump has been in office? Or is it the basically the same except you’re having a harder time affording groceries?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:34 AM
37

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone say a man should marry a promiscuous woman if he wants a great sex life. What I would say is that men should not marry a virgin if having a wife who’s a pornstar in the bedroom is important to them. One need not be promiscuous to be someone who enjoys sex. However, sex is something that takes time to get used to and good at, and sometimes highly religious people who grew up with repressive attitudes are always going to have those attitudes to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:19 PM
–

I guess I’m too old and nerdy to understand what you mean because I don’t really interact with friends on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:21 PM
–

Well, you probably do in a way, it’s just that people define “value” differently. Only being friends with someone because they have money or do things for you is pretty objectifying, reductive, and self-entitled. But nobody is going to want to continue being friends with someone who they don’t enjoy spending time with. Shared interests, good conversations, understanding and compassion, these things bring value. Otherwise, you’re basically doing charity work by being friends with someone you don’…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:10 AM
–

So first off, I don’t love the term “low value” in general because it kinda makes it sound like someone doesn’t have value as a person if you don’t want to date them. To me, I guess “low (relationship) value” would mean “someone whose company I don’t particularly enjoy,” because that’s what I primarily look for in a partner. Of course someone who doesn’t treat you well is automatically “low value” as a partner. But everyone is different on specifics, for example, some are literally talking about…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 02:47 AM
5

While I definitely don’t think that sluts are the only women who “genuinely like men,” I also don’t know/know of any formerly promiscuous women who have actually had any trouble getting into a relationship. Because they tend to be sociable and fun, and sociable, fun people (of both genders) just… do not end up alone. So this is why I find the revenge fantasies about the promiscuous cheerleader ending up alone with cats rather ridiculous. They might be divorced, but can easily find another man if…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 06:27 PM
1

I’m not talking about a guy who’s just not very outgoing, but one who rarely leaves the house and is very awkward, never approaches women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 12:46 AM
0

Confidence is key for both men and women, but I’d still say looks are a bit more important for women, and most important in men with looks second. I say this because a good looking woman with zero confidence can still get into a relationship. She just won’t have as many options as she otherwise would, and might get a dud who doesn’t treat her very well because this is what she thinks she deserves, and some men are opportunistic this way. An average woman with confidence can also get into a relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 10:05 PM
1

I am not meeting my standards for house chores and cleaning, though the cooking is pretty damn good.lol We are two ADHD people who have to gently nag each other to get shit done. So the answer is “no,” but I know I’m in no position to talk, and neither is he. The dynamic is “let’s fight the mess monster together.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 11:21 PM
1

I’m not a man, but it seems to be most correlated with relationship stage. Men generally act romantic when they know they like her and she likes them, but are still in the “free trial” period and she might not stick around. Of course what exactly “romantic” looks like highly depends on the guy, how he views the woman, and the woman’s expectations. Some men are far more romantic types than others and same for women, this is a compatibility point, but one that can be hard to determine due to the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 11:30 AM
–

Most women do not actually have a choice to work or not, pursuing a career is necessary to have autonomy since money is necessary to live. I don’t care what anyone says on this, no money of your own = being at the mercy of someone else, and I think it’s as clear as day why women did not want that anymore. And now the economy is such that staying home is not even an option for most women… which isn’t ideal but is far better than the alternative. Men are not forced to adapt by taking on their shar…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 12:04 AM
-1

Exactly. Whenever a guy talks about being a “passport bro,” I have to ask when it was that he moved. The answer is always some form of “I haven’t yet but I’m totally going to.” Like I know some must actually do it, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:44 PM
0

Would have to hear from the other apples to know. Which is unlikely because it’s always the bad apples who are the loudest, and the other apples would just be doing their thing, not online going “Mom, I’m running away because you’re mean! I’m really leaving this time, mom! I’m going to grandma’s because she lets me eat all the candy! …Mom? Aren’t you mad I’m leaving?”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:34 PM
1

I saw your comment that these “flip outs” involved screaming and throwing furniture. Dude, if this is true, I can assure you this is 100% not normal. Not from a woman, man, or child over 3. Since you talk about your female family members acting this way growing up, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re unconsciously repeating this pattern with the women you date and the behaviors you tolerate. It’s typical to have one really unhinged ex. If multiple exes were unhinged in a very similar way, this is …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:17 PM
-1

Women don’t like the type of men who typically become “passport bros” because they go out of their way to be insulting to both “western” women and the foreign women they want to date. Not the fact that they are leaving the country (if they ever actually do). It’s a man bringing up the issue of passport bros 9/10 times, if they’d just shut up and do it, women wouldn’t even notice or say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 06:48 PM
1

Anything related to interpersonal interactions is actually that hard to explain. As a neurodivergent person, this is exactly why socializing tends to be hard for us. Now, I don’t fully agree with people who claim women can “sense toxicity” in a consistent way. Often I’d say it’s more “hindsight is 20/20.” But yes, people’s behaviors absolutely do reflect their thoughts. Some people are better at hiding toxicity than others. It also gets progressively harder to hide over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 12:36 PM
4

So… women are okay with rape as long as they can’t get pregnant from it? Men must already be okay with being raped too? Not sure where to start here. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 12:59 AM
4

It’s a matter of “most men don’t prefer a LOT of makeup” and “most women don’t prefer too much bulky-looking muscle.” But there will always be people who either don’t mind or are actively into both. Just like “men don’t prefer fat women,” yet some very much do. These are just guidelines if you are wanting to maximize your appeal to as many people as possible. But what really counts is having good social skills and an okay looking face, nobody who has these things is going to be forever alone. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:46 PM
5

I don’t see women (or men) as a “prize.” Relationships are a partnership, and many people build together. However, a man also is not a “project,” and does need to be able to roughly match most of the women in his age group and social circles in terms of “having his shit together” (or heading in that direction) if he expects them to want to date him. Most women do not want to mother a man, that much is very true, and are becoming more aware of the perils of thinking you can “change him.” All of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:12 PM
0

The men who complain about low birth rates never seem to mention wanting to be fathers, rather, they talk about it like it’s women’s problem or a vague “society’s” problem to deal with. So I don’t think the men online really want to be responsible for children any more than most men irl. There also tends to be strong racist undertones involved in these discussions once you start pushing a little further and bring up the fact there are over 8 billion people in the world and we’re definitely not “…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:18 PM
1

It just sounds like people with different experiences and points of reference interpreting his description of “approaching” in different ways. Many women have been harassed, and that’s what they will immediately think of. Without a link to the post in question I really can’t comment further on this. Because lot of times when people claim “people were commenting ___ on this post!” I find that the post isn’t as described, or the comments in question were downvoted to hell while the top comments sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:35 PM
7

I wouldn’t call the second one being a “leader,” just a responsible adult. Which is very important, but not enough in itself. You also need the friendship aspect to have a real relationship. The “no matter what you do” part is potentially problematic though depending on what you mean by that. In terms of supporting positive goals and respecting your autonomy, yes, but having a Chat GPT style yes-man partner who always agrees and hypes you up even when you’re being stupid, isn’t a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:54 AM
1

Imo no they shouldn’t be, but that’s not something I can decide for other people. Just like Catholics and Protestants disagree on a lot of things but are both Christians even if some try to say the other isn’t, feminists are never going to agree on everything. We get into No True Scotsman fallacy territory if we try to say “anyone who doesn’t agree with me on this isn’t a real ___.”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:03 PM
2

<image> This graph shows women message men they rate slightly below “medium” (2) the most. Yes, this is slightly above the average rating they give most men, but they even message the guys they rate least attractive (0) more than the most attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:03 PM
0

That same study showed that women interact more with the men they rate average/below average than those they rate above average though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:36 AM
2

It’s usually not about the positions, it’s about the… just jackhammering away and not much foreplay or anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:37 PM
1

Well I stayed with a guy who was a bad lay the first few times and then “okay” after that for seven years. However, that was one of the reasons I became uncertain about marrying him, like “is this what I really want for the rest of my life?”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 12:00 PM
14

Sexual compatibility is one element of a good relationship, but it’s not enough, you also need to have compatible values and goals and enough common interests to be able to have something to talk about. And I say “sexual compatibility,” because whether or not someone is “good in bed” is not something all of their partners will necessarily agree on. Some men are pretty much unequivocally bad in bed (for example, those who basically just use her as a fleshlight and get pouty if she doesn’t orgasm …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 01:24 AM
1

There’s a difference between “the people responsible for this are mostly men,” and “men in general are responsible for this.” Positive, non-destructive changes happen gradually, not overnight, so yes in some ways it has to be an ongoing struggle. But there’s no benefit in trying to go backwards. I tend to think this is why it often seems that women have made progress but men are comparatively struggling, because the mindset is often “I’m not happy, so we need to hang on for dear life to the patr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 11:26 PM
4

Class consciousness is a big one. People are miserable right now mainly because wages haven’t kept up with the cost of living. When people feel that resources are scarce, they become competitive with each other based on group identities, and start looking for an outlet for their dissatisfaction with life. A good example of this is when men claim they have no motivation to work for a better future because they aren’t getting laid… okay we know you want to get laid, but could that lack of motivati…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 08:53 PM
1

Well, all of those things really are to some degree a result of patriarchy, but “patriarchy” does not equal “men.” Patriarchy is a power structure, and one where only privileged men actually benefit most, and privileged women benefit second. Wealthy white women tend to be some of the biggest supporters of patriarchy, even if they don’t always realize it. An error that some feminists make is the same error many people examining racism or discrimination based on sexual orientation make — these are…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 08:31 PM
2

Even if we include bisexual and lesbian women, we have to account for the fact that women have lower sex drives overall than men. I’m a bi woman, and although I find many women attractive, I am not sexually attracted to every woman I think is pretty or every man I think is handsome, and I’m sometimes sexually attracted to people I don’t find especially beautiful from an aesthetic standpoint. The two are connected, but not always both present at the same time. And while things like makeup and fas…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:34 PM
2

Pretty much. I mean I’m sure not all men of Schopenhauer’s era acted like this, but of course not all men of today’s era do either. Something akin to inceldom, and of course general misogyny, has been prevalent forever. The difference was you also had to have something more intelligent to say before you were able to share your misogynistic ramblings with the world. Not just any shmuck with an internet connection could broadcast their grievances, now they can.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:19 PM
4

If this were the case, women would not find other women aesthetically beautiful. And most women do, including straight women who don’t have a sexual attraction to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:46 PM
2

Yes, people will tolerate certain behaviors in someone who’s hot or rich that they wouldn’t tolerate in someone who is neither. Not everyone will, but enough will that these people can always find someone willing to tolerate their less-desirable qualities. However, I would add that there comes a point of extreme unpleasantness where no amount of money will buy you… any sort of genuine connection, just a live-in sex worker. Trump would be an example of this, like I believe his first wife loved hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 03:29 AM
–

I’m talking about the “yes dear” men that have no backbone. Oh, I thought you were talking about men who like to sit in the cuck chair and watch their wife have sex with someone else, like… an actual cuck. Whoops. I think the term you’re looking for is “henpecked husband.” This can be one of two things. The first is simply that the wife has a stronger personality and opinions about things, and the husband may actually be perfectly happy letting her take the lead on most things. That’s okay, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 02:05 AM
–

I mean if you won’t believe the studies, I’m not sure why me saying anything would change your mind. But I can tell you that for me, anything other than plain vanilla sex was off the table in any sort of casual or new relationship situation, but not in an LTR or married. I would guess that you have been selecting for more inhibited women for relationships vs casual hookups. Not all women who are relationship-oriented are inhibited, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 01:35 AM
1

I would say if you can date in your high school years, do. But it’s best treated more as a social activity and learning experience than as an opportunity to sleep around, or conversely, taking it too seriously and tying yourself to one person you think you’re going to marry. On the other hand, if you didn’t get the chance to date in high school, it’s certainly not the end of the world. Academics, part-time work, and friendships/general social experience are more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 01:38 AM
5

Pretty sure feminists are divided on this issue. Personally, I consider myself a feminist and tend to agree with MRAs on this issue. My beef with a lot of MRAs is that they often seem more concerned about defending male rapists than male victims, or act like it’s a competition of who gets raped more vs just… standing up for all rape victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:30 PM
8

The term “pick me” sometimes gets thrown around way too randomly these days, as does “simp.” However, in terms of the accurate meaning of the phrase, you’re absolutely right. Just securing commitment at any cost, from anyone, is not a “win” for a woman any more than for a man. There’s always a chance you’ll luck out and end up with a decent guy, but being a pick me means you’re leaving yourself wide open to the trash that would otherwise take itself out if you set boundaries. There are fates far…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:54 AM
11

Society doesn’t care about men’s issues because for the most part men don’t care about men’s issues. Unless: a) it affects them personally, b) someone brings up women’s issues and they want to derail the conversation, c) they can figure out a way to blame women for it, or d) they can think of a “solution” that involves taking away women’s rights. That’s why we hear more about “men aren’t getting laid enough” than, for example, prostate cancer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:55 PM
6

There’s way too much room for nuance in the examples you gave to properly comment on this. It’s unreasonable to expect someone to read your mind when you randomly want flowers, but not unreasonable to expect them for a special occasion. It’s unreasonable to be mad that someone forgot to take the trash out once or didn’t do it at the exact time you wanted, but it’s not unreasonable to be mad that they never take out the trash when they’ve agreed it’s their job, or always have to be told to. It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 04:18 AM
5

“Repulsed” is a pretty strong word, but men are very frequently unhappy with whatever they thought they wanted. The virgin is boring in bed, the hot chick makes them feel insecure, the career woman doesn’t want to put her career on hold to raise a family, the tradwife isn’t contributing financially, etc. etc. People are people, and the grass is always greener.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:41 AM
2

This reads a bit “boomery,” ignoring the massive changes in the economic landscape that have taken place. Gen z doesn’t have the same opportunities to make money and thrive like past generations did. Now, where I’ll somewhat agree is that some gen z people would probably be happier spending $50 on a night out and living with a few roommates instead of spending $50 on another video game and living with parents, but as a struggling younger millennial, I do understand and feel a bit icky even sayin…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:50 AM
2

It’s hard to say, that’s going to depend on what an individual’s social circle is like, and you might encounter some of both on apps/at clubs/etc. Because a majority of women don’t regularly do hookups, but those who do, obviously are more likely to be seeking them out. But I’d say overall the women who do are more likely to be looking for the hottest guys, while those for whom it’s more situational are more likely to want someone they already know a bit or feel comfortable with. Regardless, set…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 10:15 PM
28

Beyond the glaringly obvious issues with the attitude of “if you just give me what I want, then I wouldn’t have to lie to get it,” you’re also not even correct that most women have higher looks standards for casual sex. Men chronically overestimate their own importance in when women want casual or a relationship. For the majority of women who don’t actively seek out hookups regularly, it’s almost always “set and setting.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:37 AM
3

Never once have I heard “Men should never approach me unless he’s my type.” Women don’t agree on whether or not they want men to approach. But I’d say most women just want men to be conscious of the appropriateness of the setting where you’re approaching, and to not be rude or threatening if rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:13 AM
2

I’m not a social butterfly and not talking about women I’ve just met in passing and enjoyed one convo with. I’m talking about actual friends I keep hanging out with and consistently enjoy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 03:11 PM
40

It’s both and neither. The “nice guy” thinks being gentle is key, vs actually waiting for the proper timing and signals. They’re not aggressive but still make you uncomfortable because it’s unwanted touch. I don’t think most guys like this are “bad” or “dangerous,” but there are some real wolves in sheep’s clothing out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 03:07 PM
3

Not saying I click with ALL women, that’s never gonna happen. But I’ve met about 5 just in the past couple years I can have great conversations with, as opposed to like 1-2 over my whole life before then. I’d say it’s far more likely my social skills improved and I got better at finding “my people,” than that women magically became more interesting. If one person doesn’t understand your post, they don’t understand your post. If multiple people aren’t understanding your post like you think is hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 02:52 PM
6

You’re talking to a former “NLOG” here. I thought most women were “boring and basic” too until I actually made the effort to get to know them and found out that’s not the case. People just have to have a certain comfort level and adequate space in a conversation before you can get to “deep talk” that’s more interesting than small talk. Telling people to read your post when they already have isn’t going to change their minds. Either you didn’t do a good job explaining your point or you’re not pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 02:40 PM
13

There’s a saying that goes something like “If you meet an asshole today, they’re an asshole. If all you meet are assholes today, you’re the asshole.” And this tends to apply to “boring” too. Less socially adept individuals tend to have trouble having conversations with people who aren’t very much like them, they have a more narrow field of interests and don’t know how to get other people talking about what they’re passionate about. (I know from personal experience.) Most men and women alike tend…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 02:28 PM
0

It’s not that men don’t have a “sexual prime,” it’s just that women aren’t as horny as men, so there’s never a time in a man’s life where he’s going to be as popular for hookups as a woman would be. But that’s not what a “sexual prime” is, “sexual prime” is based on hormones and the resulting changes in libido and sexual performance. For both men and women, those hormones tend to decline noticeably in their 40s… not that most people aren’t still definitely getting busy well into middle age. Men …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:41 PM
1

I don’t think it’s as much a thing of the past as you’re claiming. If anything, I feel like gen z men complain way more about body count than millennial men ever did. And Gen z is more prudish in general. One thing I would say positively though, is in recent years more women seem comfortable expressing that they just don’t like casual sex, and even that they don’t want a high n man. “Prude shaming” was something us millennials had to deal with, and was pretty stupid. Back in my day, even religio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 02:32 AM
2

I usually can at least see men’s perspective on anything that isn’t along the lines of… “men having a much harder time getting laid than women is a massive social injustice that women and society as a whole need to care about.” Which unfortunately comprises a lot of arguments here and online in general, hence why I rarely agree with men in these settings. This isn’t nearly as much the case in irl conversations, where I’d say I tend to agree or disagree with men and women about equally. In genera…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 04:02 PM
1

This makes it sound like women and men are collective entities. I was never dating “men,” I was dating a man. If one doesn’t like the behavior of the person they’re dating, there are two choices: confront them directly, or break it off and date someone else or be single. Complaining online into the wind can’t do anything whether you’re a man or a woman, because the people seeing it aren’t even the same people you’re dating. People complain online into the wind because they want to vent and get v…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 01:47 PM
1

Well if you actually pass for a kid in it, it’s weird. My whole point is that it’s not uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 05:04 AM
1

Because she presumably acts and presents like an adult? Slim, petite women can look very elegant, it’s when they deliberately choose to make themselves look and act childlike because there’s apparently a large audience for that, that’s gross. But if he’s asking her to wear a schoolgirl uniform and talk in a squeaky voice or something yeah he’s probably a fricken creep. It’s not that hard to figure out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:18 PM
1

Not if she doesn’t pretend to be a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 11:19 AM
–

Noticing, thinking ahead, planning, and following through with things that need to be done, is sexy and more rare than you think. Always needing to be told what to do, chronic procrastination, saying you’ll do something and not doing it, and ignoring issues until they become an emergency, is frustrating, tiring, and infantilizes you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 03:25 AM
10

Is it really “actively suppressed and erased” though or do most men just not care? Are feminists saying it’s sexist to celebrate International Men’s Day or just not… organizing the party for you? Because more often than not, I just see women telling men what day it is when they complain on International Women’s Day, never any complaints about the existence of International Men’s Day?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 02:35 AM
3

I don’t think there’s anything perverted about being attracted to 18yr olds who look like adults, there’s not always even a visual difference between someone who’s 18 and someone who’s 23. But the fact that there are petite adult women who make a ton of money dressing up like actual children is definitely disturbing. There’s nothing biologically normal about attraction to children, and yet…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 02:25 AM
9

Don’t worry, you’ll hear a lot more about International Men’s Day on International Women’s Day, that most guys’ preferred date to “celebrate” it on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 02:06 AM
–

From what I can see, money for men is like boobs for women. If you’re not showing it off, you’re not going to attract the type of woman who cares about it. But if you do, well… you’ll attract the type of woman who cares about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 06:47 PM
–

So are we going to pretend like men are just fine with women’s standards and preferences? lol Seen a fuckton of short men be VERY offended about women preferring tall men, for example. I’m not offended by men not wanting to date someone with a high body count if they don’t have one, I mean I always preferred a man who didn’t have a high body count (within reason, factoring in age). I do find those who are obsessive or hypocritical about it to be annoying and have misogynistic tendencies, but the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 06:32 PM
2

The example I gave for what a woman might say about a man are for both of them too. Most things are when you’re married.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 10:58 AM
–

You do realize people who take medication for bipolar aren’t “drug addicts,” right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:44 AM
5

Then tell me, what is it men want? Because I’m not guessing what I think men want, I’m repeating what I consistently see them say they want. A man won’t stop loving you because you stop or can’t cook regularly Tell that to all the women whose husbands left when they got seriously ill and needed care instead of being able to provide it. Approximately 21% of men leave in that situation, while only about 3% of women do. I feel it’s important to point out that means 79% DON’T leave, because as I sai…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 08:17 PM
29

And yet if you ask what men want and care about in a partner, it’s very rarely anything to do with her as a person and everything to do with what she can do for him. Looks (boosts his status), sex, take care of him, have his children, take care of said children. Those things just aren’t politically correct to say when asked why you love your partner, hence the vague “uh… I just love her.” A lot of men can’t think of one personal quality about her because they don’t even know her that well. Certa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 11:54 AM
–

You say men don’t care about looks as long as they're in love, but why were they initially interested in this woman even? It’s almost always looks. Being in love definitely isn’t all about looks, but looks are usually the first bar that has to be passed before one is open to falling in love with someone. There is no significant gender difference when it comes to looks and long-term mate selection. The gender difference lies in the fact men are more willing to casually hook up with women they don…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:35 AM
2

I agree on that. Men complain about this supposedly meaning she’s not really attracted to them, but it’s just smart. And in my experience, men interested in relationships are perfectly fine with waiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 12:24 AM
3

Looks are what people see first, and therefore the very first bar that must be passed for men and women alike. But if you’re going on dates with her, chances are you’ve already passed the looks threshold. It’s likely to be more of a matter of not really liking his personality at that point. Only difference with men is they’ll wait till after sex to reject a woman they don’t really like.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:04 PM
2

Problem is if you keep following this line of thinking just a bit further, men’s rights, too, depend on other people respecting them. If you take law enforcement out of the picture, a stronger man, a man (or woman) with a gun, or a group of men, certainly do not have to care about your rights if they don’t want to. Force in modern times has little to do with physical strength — those who have the weapons have the monopoly on force. And we’ve placed those weapons primarily in the hands of militar…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 02:48 PM
7

Where they go wrong is assuming it’s always about looks, or that all women will always have the same opinion of their looks. There have been better looking guys I wasn’t that into and less conventionally attractive guys I was. None of this is to say looks don’t matter — obviously, everything is easier for more attractive people. But claiming that “average” men always get cut off can’t be true when most average men are in relationships or married.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:02 AM
0

This was a little weird to read, especially the spreadsheet part, but I can’t really say anything because… you’re not wrong. Never really been into hookups/fwb, but of the few times I’ve done something casual, it was never a stranger. It was a casual friend who was available at the right time. A lot of guys miss the importance of timing and her mindset when it comes to women who don’t frequently do hookups. It’s far more important than being the hottest guy in the room. For women who actually se…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:21 PM
–

First part is mostly true, second part is false in my experience. Never been with a guy who had a lower body count than me, at least of those where the relationship went on long enough to where people start talking about their history. Only one was what I’d call a “high body count,” and only that one actually bothered me due to the vast difference in experience. But yeah, median counts for men and women are pretty similar, with men always a bit higher.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:44 PM
58

Women will typically give a guy they’re already in a relationship with a lot of chances before giving up. Sometimes women can be pretty harsh during the early dating stages and break it off over small incidents. However, this isn’t always unreasonable, because most women understand that men are on their very best behavior in the first few weeks of dating. So whatever he’s doing is not getting better, and will almost certainly get worse. Now, to clarify, I’m talking about actual red or yellow fla…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 04:09 PM
2

Yeah, the actual “decline” is not an enjoyable one, it’s pretty boring.lol Declining social interaction, declining standard of living… not exactly the “boats and hoes” future they imagined.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:14 PM
6

I don’t think anyone is claiming that two adults can’t ever have a respectful sexual relationship without commitment. There are women who are down for that and men who are respectful about it. However, let’s not pretend like it’s always like that and women just “decide later” that they were used for sex. We can see how men talk about their casual hookups and FWB in some of the most dehumanizing terms possible. Hell, it seem like half the time they don’t even like their wives and girlfriends. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:40 PM
7

Based on the stats I’ve come across, it seems to be that gen z is coupling up later, but not having any more casual sex than past generations. They’re just having less sex in general, men and women both. I would guess a lot of this has to do with inability to move out, fewer third spaces, less in-person socializing. Now, the more specific answer would be it highly depends on one’s area and social circle. In some social circles, sleeping around is the norm, in others, it’s marrying your high scho…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:57 AM
4

Sure they’ll “try out” a woman they don’t find very attractive for as long as she’s willing to keep having sex without any sort of commitment. So… generally a few months before she figures out it’s not happening and moves on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:48 PM
3

I mean as a married woman, I also go on “dates” with my girl friends. But we’re not “dating.” This might be splitting hairs when it comes to terminology, but my point was that men usually will not date women they see as below their league for a relationship. Hookups, FWB, “casual dating,” anything where sex without commitment is concerned, they will. And that’s why it’s smart for women to be wary of these men if they’re looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:28 PM
6

Consistent sex without any intention to move the relationship forward is “friends with benefits,” regardless of if she’s aware of that or not. Which is why I emphasize that if a woman is dating for a relationship, not a good idea to date above one’s league.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 04:34 PM
2

I used to think I just admired the beauty of the female form, surely I was straight, staring at pictures of beautiful women was only an artistic sort of appreciation and totally normal right? Well, spoiler alert, wasn’t straight. Not saying that straight people can’t admire the beauty and various qualities of the same sex, but if you find most women unattractive and men so majestic, it might be time to ask yourself some questions. Just food for thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 06:31 AM
12

Men often hook up below their league, but rarely date (for a relationship) below their league unless something is wrong. Leagues are of course somewhat subjective, but I’ve turned down every guy who I got the impression thought he was hot shit/leading with money/somehow trying convey I was lucky to date him. (Note this is different from confidence… I’m talking about the type of guy who has to tell you his ex was a model.) And in the cases where I ended up getting some sort of follow-up info, my …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 05:44 AM
1

My ideal preference would be something in between. Both men and women take some pride in their appearances and dress up when they wish, but there isn’t pressure for either to wear makeup or have their hair styled (beyond just combed) to look “professional.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 02:00 AM
1

I’d say the same if it’s an older woman pursuing an 18-20yr old guy. It’s not the gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:54 AM
1

Social skills are very closely tied to social status. It’s not likely that someone with excellent social skills won’t have many friends, or that someone with a lot of friends will have poor social skills. Unless by “social status” you mean money… which yeah, at a certain level that can buy you all the friends and women you could want. How genuine that is though, is the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:06 AM
1

Very young (and very old) people tend to be infantilized in many ways. Which can be problematic if it’s excessive/patronizing, but to some degree can also be… just realistic. Most 25+ men aren’t going to particularly want to be friends with an 18yr old guy or will struggle to respect an 18yr old boss, because they don’t see him as an equal. Because that’s natural, nothing magic happens when someone turns 18. Yet they’ll try to claim an 18yr old girl they’re dating is “so mature.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:01 AM
1

Exactly! I have had quite painful back and forth discussions with men on these topics, where they refuse to acknowledge obvious things like “maybe she didn’t like anal,” or “maybe she had a few drinks on that date and was in a slightly different mindset.” Because she doesn’t even factor into the equation, it’s all about competing with other men, sometimes in the pettiest ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:41 PM
1

I was not describing a relationship in which people are using each other for resources, sex, or validation. Just different ways that labor (which has to be done no matter what) can be equally distributed in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 11:49 AM
2

Sure it’s her choice, and ultimately one she must make herself. But we don’t have to pretend like every choice is a good one just because a woman is making it, that’s where I sometimes take issue with “choice feminism.” I’m also not going to tell gramps “oh I’m sure she just loves you for your personality,” I’m going to say she’s probably a gold digger. It’s not about taking away people’s legal rights to make choices, but that being “supportive” isn’t always supportive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 11:39 AM
1

You didn’t answer my question, what is a real, non-transactional relationship to you? What would that look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 02:18 AM
4

Agency and ability to be manipulated are not mutually exclusive. I also think an 80yr old man being pursued by a much younger woman is being manipulated. In both cases they are legal adults with agency to make those decisions, but that doesn’t mean we have to sit there and pretend age never matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:41 AM
1

Well I think a lot of it is because they imagine “high-maintenance women” to look like this… <image> When really they look like every woman on the internet they think is hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:27 AM
–

It’s usually less that they don’t know how, but that they just don’t want to after a woman moves in. Nobody wants to, but women tend to have a lower threshold for mess, dirty clothes, and takeout again, and are more harshly judged for it, so usually men win the chore stand-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:23 AM
6

Okay but how is any of this gendered? Plenty of men will do all of that and more (like subscribing to OF and sexting women) while gaslighting their partner about it. There are people of both genders who are genuinely insecure and overly jealous, and people of both genders who are trying to cheat and flipping the blame. Sometimes it’s clear and sometimes it’s more subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 11:33 PM
1

What, to you, is a “real” relationship then? All relationships are “transactional” in the sense that both people have to be contributing as a team to the couple’s shared survival and wellbeing. This doesn’t mean keeping score of every little thing, but otherwise, someone’s getting taken advantage of. Whether it’s 50/50 finances and everything else, or 70/30 finances 30/70 everything else, there still always has to be a distribution of labor in the relationship. To me, a transactional relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 06:46 PM
1

I would definitely agree you can avoid a lot of bs by taking things slow and not staying with someone just because of sunk costs. However, I’m not sure that’s how “pickmes” think, if one’s goal is just marriage/commitment from a certain person, one is unlikely to walk away once that’s being offered.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 06:31 PM
1

Most men also want women to take care of them and cater to them in different ways. Such relationships can in fact be equal, as long as there is a give and take.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:53 PM
2

Normal women: We would like an equal companion who shares our interests and we can build a life with. Red pill men: No thanks, we only care about looks and sex. Can’t fuck your career. Vapid women: We’re offering looks and sex, we just expect you to pay for dates and gifts in return. Red pill men: These shallow bitches only offer looks and sex and expect us to pay for them?!😡
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:47 PM
1

The dating phase is where you determine if you like the dynamic and relationship you have with the other person. Even in good relationships, the dating phase rarely resembles what the relationship will look like later on. People are always on the best behavior in the beginning, and men especially will always put in way more effort during the dating phase vs after commitment. If the dynamic isn’t good during the dating phase you can be assured it won’t get better, but sometimes women (and men) un…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:12 PM
9

Being married or engaged doesn’t necessarily mean she got what she wanted in the long run, there are plenty of men willing to marry a woman who isn’t really their type as long as they don’t have to do anything for her and she’ll cater to them. Truth is, there is no scientific way to prove that simping or pickme-ing does or doesn’t pay off, or how often. People also have quite varied definitions for what these words mean. If you like someone, you’re going to show it by making an effort for them. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:37 AM
23

More like I’ve tolerated multiple average looking men’s obvious red flags just because they were not abusive, and that was basically my only standard at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:27 AM
2

I am referring specifically to the men who claim there is no point (in general) in being a decent person because it doesn’t get you laid or confer some immediate material/status benefit. Or who admire and envy men who are jerks and still get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 01:06 AM
1

I agree that it’s not something men are typically going to talk about after a certain age (and I’m sure many develop a more stable sense of self after certain age). But it’s still been internalized so that men associate being able to get laid with their value as a person in relation to other men. Another thing we must remember is many guys here are still very young, and have not matured past this way of thinking at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 11:23 PM
3

I certainly don’t think it is always conscious, especially not as one gets older I would guess. It becomes psychologically engrained so that a man ties his self-esteem to ability to get laid, whether or not he’s actually telling other men every time he gets laid or not. But we also have to remember there are a lot of guys here who are probably 18-20 and have not moved on from this way of thinking at all yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 11:13 PM
5

That’s not what I’m saying at all. Men and women both obviously enjoy sex, including old married people for example who aren’t doing it for status. What I’m talking about is this obsession with sex, particularly casual sex with multiple different women, the obsession over the idea someone got it sooner than they did or he might not be the “best,” sex as the be-all-end-all of proving their social value.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 09:40 PM
7

I agree for the most part, the only part I’d challenge is: they need your approval that they are good enough for this world. Yes and no. They need women to allow them into their vaginas, but only in order to gain approval from other men. They do not care about women’s approval in any other capacity, which we see over and over again in discussions about how “being a good person won’t get you laid and therefore doesn’t matter.” This is why in the question of whether there’s a “male loneliness cris…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:41 PM
–

This is kind of like people who say to always give the bare minimum at work. Like yes, don’t go above and beyond for jobs that pay the bare minimum with no real upward mobility. But you also need to be looking for a better job, and if that’s your attitude with every job you get, don’t be surprised when you only keep shit jobs and stay poor. Likewise, bending over backwards for people who aren’t into you in hopes of changing their mind is pointless. However, continuing to engage with these people…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 02:15 AM
–

I see your point and agree if we used the same standards to convict false accusers it could work, it would just be very rare to get a conviction due to the difficulty of proving a negative. It would also have to apply to all types of false accusations, as it would not make sense to single out SA. Currently, someone who’s falsely accused of any crime can sue their accuser for defamation in a civil case if there’s sufficient evidence, so it’s not as though there’s no recourse as it is. So basicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 11:07 PM
–

I don’t think men should be dragged through the mud for accusations that lack any reasonable evidence. However, it’s very difficult to get enough evidence to convict with SA cases that did in fact happen, and usually impossible to prove a negative (that it didn’t happen). Unless the accuser admits to it or it can be proven the two weren’t even in the same location at the time, we can’t really know. Lack of DNA evidence is just that, a lack of evidence sufficient to convict. Not evidence it didn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 10:43 PM
3

I was gonna say if you’re a big guy, seven beers may not be that much. But for most people, would indicate an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 10:03 PM
4

Listen, I don’t know you and I’m not a teetotaling prude who thinks everyone who likes to drink is about to become homeless and die. But based on my own experience and many others, other people getting concerned and feeling the need to sneak it is an early sign it’s getting out of control. I was never a stereotypical alcoholic and thought my husband was being paranoid, but after deciding to respect his wishes and cut back, I see he was right. YMMV, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:58 PM
10

“I’m an alcoholic but don’t want to date an alcoholic woman, wonder why I’m still single??”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:21 PM
1

Well marriage is not mandatory, so I don’t see a need to “abolish” it when everyone is free to abolish it for their own lives if they wish.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 02:51 PM
2

For some women, there is no point, so they remain single. But others desire companionship, children, sex with emotional connection. Some women don’t even enjoy sex without a romantic connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:29 PM
2

I would argue that changing your looks and income can actually be easier than making your personality more appealing, but the only option that’s actually easy is complaining on the internet. Which is why that’s what we see the most of, and why they don’t want to acknowledge how important social skills and being likable are. “Nice” is a popular straw man, “I was nice/this guy is nice and didn’t get any women.” Because “nice” is easy, nice is weasely, nice isn’t really a personality trait. But the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 11:00 AM
3

Just wait till you find out the corporate world itself is a scam… but well, people like to and need to make money. Professions like teaching were underpaid because women did them, and having to depend on someone else for one’s livelihood is risky.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:09 AM
2

Only conservative women actually prefer conservative men. However, there are more right-leaning men than women, and most women will tolerate some level of political disagreement. That’s what you’re seeing here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 03:13 AM
1

It’s one of those things that probably won’t make you feel any better at the time, as your mind will just be focused on “oh no, rejection = bad.” But soon enough you’ll realize your friend was right and be glad you didn’t waste any more time with that person before they showed their ass. Now, of course there can be times when maybe you… aren’t quite telling your friend the whole story, and perhaps the other person dodged a bullet. Those kinds of realizations tend to hit quite a bit later, if at …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 02:50 AM
3

Overall, men and women seemed to hate each other a bit less, had better social skills, were less (openly) hateful in general, less politically divided (although still very divided), more optimistic about the future, and more lighthearted and inclined to try to have fun. I know people tend to get more serious, boring, and cranky with age, but gen z seems to be more on the Debbie Downer side, and I can’t say I blame them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 02:40 AM
42

Relationships are actually financially riskier for women too, at least if there are children in the picture. Despite the popular belief that divorce ruins men financially, custodial mothers tend to end up worse off. This risk can be mitigated by refusing to put one’s career on the back burner after the kids are born, but that can be difficult to do if the dad doesn’t want to be an equal parent. So overall, I’d have to say relationships are riskier for women. However, when it comes to emotional r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 01:44 AM
2

Probably him, because saying “you go ahead and cheat for 10 mil” seems a little better than “so I gotta go cheat for 10 mil brb.” But as long as I could fully explain what was going on first, I would do either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 12:36 AM
8

Don’t think my husband would ever forgive me for not taking that deal, nor would I forgive him for not taking it.lol Considering that we’d both know about it and understand the reason for it, I’m not sure it even counts as cheating… more along the lines of ethical non-monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:30 PM
2

Well the thing is, being bullied (to a normal extent), rejected, and lied to are temporarily unpleasant but formative experiences. Because bullies, rejection, and lies do not go away when you become an adult, the bullies are just sneakier and the rejection and lies higher-stakes. You’re essentially just saving that stuff for later, at which time you’ll be less equipped than everyone else to deal with it. However, I will add that extreme bullying is a valid reason to pull your kid out of school!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:18 AM
1

So looks are also not advantageous because I know some ugly person who has a partner? In fact I know more than one, but for some reason, don’t think this is the correct conclusion to make based on that information. The key word here is “advantageous.” As in something that makes dating easier. There are some folks who essentially have NO major advantages in dating who still manage to get someone, sometimes who is equally undesirable, sometimes not. This is where that old blue pill adage “there’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:03 AM
3

Back in the “old days” of the internet, there were quite a few times I just didn’t disclose my gender and let people assume I was a guy, either because I thought my opinion would be invalidated or because I didn’t want dick pics.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:04 AM
14

Eh, the “larger dating pool” thing is kind of mitigated by the fact that there’s a not-insignificant number of people of both genders who won’t want to date you or will start acting weird once they find out you’re bi. My husband and I are both bi, and despite being in a “straight passing” marriage and a large majority of people in the US identifying as straight and cis, we have surprisingly few friends fitting this description. I really don’t care, but find it interesting and suspect it’s relate…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:45 AM
3

The “50% of marriages end in divorce” claim is outdated and misleading, as it is based on stats from the “divorce boom” in the 70s and 80s. Divorce rates have been falling steadily since then, and especially if it’s a first marriage and you’re both over 25, the actual chance is far lower (although hard to determine exactly since that involves projecting future divorce rates). “75% of the time it’s not the man’s choice,” is also highly misleading, as that stat only tells you who filed the paperwo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:15 AM
11

This is making a lot of assumptions. No, just finding someone physically attractive is not objectifying, and no, just not wanting someone to cheat isn’t ownership. But sometimes these terms are absolutely appropriate to describe the way some men treat and speak about women. Women find men (and/or women) physically attractive too and also don’t want to be cheated on, yet it’s relatively rare for women to speak of people they’re in a relationship with or attracted to in terms of objects and owners…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 09:15 PM
3

Selective for their safety, yes, “smell misogyny,” no. Some women are a little too confident in their ability spot red flags I’d say, but that’s something I often see men saying women say, but don’t actually hear women saying that. Because at the end of the day, yes you gotta be selective as best you can, but you don’t really know someone until you live with them. This is like saying “don’t bother to check your eggs because one might break on the way home anyway, no reason to be so picky.”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 08:25 PM
8

Well you see, it always comes back to these men thinking women’s mistake is not dating THEM or men they perceive to be like them. Women are supposed to automatically trust them, but should’ve known better than to date someone they perceive as “not like me.” “Chad” is supposed to be guilty until proven innocent, unless he’s a favorite celeb of theirs, then he’s innocent too. That’s how this works.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 07:36 PM
5

Dating for women can be sort of like the job market when it comes to low-wage jobs… bunch of employers “desperate” for employees, easy to get in, but it quickly becomes clear why nobody wants those jobs. For men, seems more like the job market for higher-paying jobs, a lot of barriers to entry, a lengthy interview process, people want the jobs but they may not be worth the qualifications they’re asking for. These are of course the dark side of dating for both women and men, it’s not always going…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 07:02 PM
1

“Love languages” in general can be a yellow flag if applied incorrectly as an excuse to neglect certain aspects of your relationship. For example, “Sorry I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, gifts aren’t my love language, didn’t know they were yours.” Yeah, nice try, most people need and expect every one of the love language to some extent when it comes down to it. Your “love language(s)” are just the ones that resonate most with you. Tbh even the author the book gets a little goofy with…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:53 PM
7

I’m jealous of a lot of people about a lot of different things, but can’t say I “resent” anyone who hasn’t actually done anything to hurt me or someone I love. I missed 90% of the teenage life experience because I was homeschooled, and yes, it’s still something that haunts me. The memories I don’t have, who I could’ve been without that massive setback in my development, how there’s no way in hell I’d do that to my kid, etc. But do I resent people who went to school and had friends and grew up at…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:16 AM
5

Before no-fault divorce, divorces were just usually more bitter as someone was trying to prove fault, and there were a lot of people still committed on paper but not in practice. Marriage is a public declaration of commitment, but does not prevent people from breaking those commitments even if you make divorce harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 01:44 AM
1

While looks are the first thing people will notice about you, confidence is a big part of what gives you opportunities to meet and connect with someone who is attracted to you. Because if you lack confidence, you will avoid socializing and never shoot your shot. I would disagree to some extent that confidence = extraversion, although extraversion tends to help too. You can be introverted and confident, although confident people will generally seem more extroverted. I’d say confidence is more aki…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:55 AM
5

My point is not that romantic relationships are just like friendships, but that they are far closer to being like friendships than owning a vehicle, which was OP’s go-to. A job contract or business partnership would also be relevant (but likewise imperfect) comparisons for marriage. Children, not so much, since they are not adults, you literally created them, and they are fully dependent on you until adulthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:36 PM
2

So why do men complain about being settled for if they’re all/mostly settling, while simultaneously encouraging women to date the undesirable men most likely to settle the most? 🤔 Seems rather egregiously hypocritical, and like this is something some other men wish you wouldn’t say out loud. I tend to agree with you in a general sense, except I’d argue that truly average (not Reddit average) men have more options than you’re probably giving them credit for. Which is all the more reason to get co…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:19 PM
16

Loyalty =/= ownership. You may see your friendships as for life, but do you feel like you own your friends? I doubt it. You have a mutual understanding that you want it to last, but you also recognize that person’s autonomy and that if one of you chooses to act like a jerk, you’ll try to work things out, but it might end. But you’re not planning for that. It’s no different for a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 10:38 PM
13

You know there is a healthy way to view long-term relationships that is neither as ownership nor “just your turn,” right? You can mutually choose to commit to each other while respecting each other as independent adult humans, without assuming from the start that it is going to end. Do you think of your male best friend as something you own/an extension of yourself? Probably not. Do you think “that’s not my bro, it’s just my turn,” already planning for the end of the friendship as soon as you st…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:58 PM
2

Sometimes, in the same way that girl dads tend to put the most radical “yes all men” feminists to shame the moment their daughter has a date. The traditionalism some men want in a wife (and will often claim is “best for women”) also tends to go out the window when it comes to their daughters. Suddenly her being educated, strong, and independent matters, because deep down he knows that’s in her best interests. To some extent, wanting to look out for your kid is only natural. Dating comes with ris…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:40 PM
7

As a female loner who used to try to lean into the whole “not like other girls” thing, at some point I had to accept that I was just neurodivergent and had poor social skills. And that while it might be hard for me to find other women to connect with and I’ll never want to be a social butterfly, life is kinda dull with NO friends. This is basically the male version of the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:43 PM
5

Seems you might need to brush up on your history, because lower class women and even children did work outside the home and/or very hard at home or on the farm. It was only the upper class women who sat around at home, and their husbands weren’t working in factories or mills either. The Midcentury America where most men could afford to support a housewife who only took care of the home and kids who went to school, was an anomalous time in history. Yet this is of course what tradcons always point…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:47 AM
2

Quite the opposite. Most women absolutely do see it as an act of loving commitment, problem is some men see it as ownership or start to when she doesn’t have her own source of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:25 AM
15

Imo there is a very specific context where “white knight” can be appropriate. It’s basically performative benevolent sexism. However, 90% of the time it’s just used to mean “man who won’t play he-man woman haters club with me and I don’t like it.” The term “pick me” is used inappropriately more often than not anymore too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 02:36 AM
2

More like Feminism: Women can choose, but some choices are dumb and we’ll say so. Modern Feminism: Every choice a woman makes is a good and feminist choice, yas queen!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:18 PM
11

I tend to agree for the most part, I see the tradwife movement as basically a scam. These are women who have their own income streams from telling other women they don’t need their own income, and actually being a tradwife without one’s own income is dangerous and has little to no benefits. Now, where I disagree somewhat is that being a feminist housewife is necessarily different from being a tradwife at the end of the day. You can work from home, you can go part time. But the moment you are wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:50 AM
2

Same for mine, and I feel like most boomer/gen x dads tbh. I’m noticing that millennial dads seem to be way more involved when it comes to play, affection, etc., but still not quite keeping up with mom in terms of the “unfun” parts of parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 11:17 PM
13

Two loving, involved parents are ideal of course. However, there are a hell of a lot of married single mothers out there who had kids with men who seemed nice, but have little interest in parenting. Also many mothers who had kids just because “that’s what you do,” who might love their kids but didn’t really want them and aren’t the best parents. So is a single mother who truly wanted children, planned carefully for them, and is able support and care for them on her own really any worse? I don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 04:07 PM
–

I feel like this is a good example of how people tend to find partners regardless of low statistical probability on paper. I would guess because we tend to be drawn to people somewhat similar to us socially, and certain traits tend to be correlated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:28 PM
13

Because as you say yourself, it’s inaccurate for humans. Just another way some men dehumanize women. Plus the traits ascribed to the hive mind are almost always negative, or framed as such. This is like saying “why do men think women saying they have a prehensile tail is bad?” Well, do you have a prehensile tail? If not, you’ll probably find it dumb and annoying for people to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:20 PM
2

Considering there are over 8 billion people in the world, I’m sure it’s happened before, but can’t say I’ve ever known or known of any couple like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 02:19 AM
3

Mostly based on the experiments people have done using pictures of 80yr old grannies, pig women, etc. on dating apps. Those women get matches and messages because men are spamming. And yet you almost never see a man actually dating a woman who’s old enough to be his grandmother or drastically less attractive than himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 01:18 AM
2

Definitely not. Some nudes/sexting or a sneaky link where she drives to his house at 3am, maybe, but not something where he actually has to put on pants and go somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 01:09 AM
2

By “genuine” I mean that this woman, based on her photos and bio, is someone he would consider going on an irl date with if they hit it off in the messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 12:45 AM
8

Men’s lack of selectiveness leads to women getting spammed and less likely to see messages from men who are genuinely interested, leading to men getting less attention and being even more indiscriminate, and on and on. It’s a cycle and a huge reason why OLD sucks for both genders. The whole “I’ll just swipe right on all women who look to be under 300lbs and see who bites, then filter through later,” seems like a good strategy on the surface, but ultimately ends up ruining OLD for everyone. Moder…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 10:02 PM
2

All shady business practices are a big deal to me, and even though dating apps are optional, they’ve become a big part of our culture and there’s no reason they can’t be more transparent. Now, should they be the priority? Hell no. We need to start with businesses that are not optional (like insurance companies) or basically necessary (like internet/phone companies) first.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 08:30 PM
8

Men raping and abusing women is all men’s fault Well… on this one, who else’s could it even be? It’s not the fault of all men, but it’s clearly the fault of the men choosing to do so. Depression, suicide, isolation Yes, these are a symptom of a system that fails both genders. So why do men often approach them as something women need to fix? women-on-women cruelty, slut-shaming, bullying, mean-girl culture Internalized misogyny is real, but it’s just as much women’s responsibility to deconstruct …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 05:14 PM
–

The ones who are trying to not have careers and get supported by men without specifying being super hot and a ruthless businesswoman… I’m over here like oh honey, no.lol That’s how you end up in an abusive relationship with some guy who doesn’t actually make enough to support the family but won’t let you earn your own money. Also, as much as I love butch lesbians, questioning the number who want to be butch lesbians in this current political climate.🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 10:21 AM
2

Personality doesn’t (initially) matter on dating apps, unless you’re one of those special people who can demonstrate that they’re a total unlikable a-hole in a couple pics and a few sentences. It matters later. This proves looks matter (which I hope we all know), but doesn’t prove personality doesn’t. This isn’t really a looks thing, it’s essentially a kink (hybristophilia) that a small minority of the population has. Of course people who are into that are going to favor the better looking seria…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 02:16 AM
2

A) Extremes in anything tend to be undesirable. One could just as easily say any toxic trait men hate in women, they tend to hate the opposite too. This is a human thing. B) This example in particular sounds like an immature woman with some toxic traits of her own. There are both men and women who will try to bait you into a no-win. If I’m reading it correctly, it’s also entirely fictional. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:02 PM
24

I mean yeah, I’m for more regulation of shady business practices, including but definitely not limited to dating apps. Let’s start with fucking xfinity, for one. But considering our fraudster in chief, kinda doubt this is on the agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:53 PM
14

Women want to have sex with people they are attracted to and like, and not with people they’re not attracted to or don’t like. That’s about it. Many need to have an emotional connection too, but the concept of sex as sacred and the “ultimate expression of love” is something you’ll only find in deeply religious circles. So while yes, we all know sex is “cheaper” for women than men to get, this is quite the exaggeration I’d say.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:43 PM
7

a hoe phase after an LTR Oh yeah, I know lots of women who had one of tho… A weekend bender when she ran a football team train on herself …never mind.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 02:56 AM
1

As an ADHD/autistic woman, I became an alcoholic for several years not so much because people were actively mean and rejecting me, because it makes it much easier to socialize, relax, and just exist as a neurodivergent person. Some were mean sure, but many were trying their best to be kind and supportive really. I don’t blame society because I really don’t know what society could even do to change that. Can’t force people to like me or make my brain stfu and let me enjoy things sober. Your fathe…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 05:49 PM
2

Same way most men (just not the ones on here, it seems) do. By touching grass occasionally. There are people of both genders obsessed with those far more fortunate than themselves. But a majority aren’t really comparing themselves to the rich and famous, but rather their sibling, their coworker, their next door neighbors, other relatively normal people they know irl. I wouldn’t call myself “confident,” but I also don’t sit around and cry that I can’t do an awkward little dance in a thong on some…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 02:28 AM
4

I would argue that some evo-psych is fairly self-evident. An example would be how people’s attraction is heavily based on health and genetic fitness. However, I would agree that people go WAY too far with this stuff when it is not hard science. Another issue is when they start trying to apply the mating behaviors of non-primates to humans. For example, “pair bonding,” which is something birds do. In short, nothing wrong with sharing your evo-psych theories as just personal theories, but you can’…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 07:21 PM
7

People don’t “deserve” anything except basic human respect. What you want to give them depends on you and what kind of treatment you’re wanting in return. When you want something from a man/want to impress him, you’re definitely not gonna be a dick to him. But probably not a total kissass either. Same principle applies to women you’re dating. And in both cases, you have to realize that person isn’t obliged to give you anything except common courtesy in return, so only invest what won’t leave you…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 07:04 PM
2

When you agree to be exclusive. More specifically, I’d say it’s typical to quit focusing on looking for dates with others when you decide you like someone, but leave those channels open until you know the other person is on the same page with you. For example, to quit checking the dating apps before the “let’s be exclusive” conversation, but keep the apps on your phone until after that happens. Some people have a harder time juggling multiple potential prospects at once, and are going to focus o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 11:10 AM
–

Researcher shows that people (men and women) tend to view men as a whole, and women as a collection of individual parts. source The reason why men are less picky (when it comes to just sex) has to do with reproductive differences — women can only get pregnant so many times in their lives, it’s risky, and they have to care for the offspring, while men can get tons of women pregnant. Nowadays there is child support, but that’s not an evolutionary thing. Also why we see men get pickier when it come…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 10:43 AM
2

After survival needs like food, water, shelter, and safety, yes. But those are the primary motivators for building most infrastructure, because well, one can’t reproduce if they’re dead.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 08:31 PM
2

Sure, but it can also go the other way. When a man isn’t having sex, getting money and power can be a way to do that. But when sex is no longer hard to get, it seems to flip, and sex becomes about boosting status by either sleeping around or having a beautiful wife on one’s arm. If sex were really just about sex, a lot more struggling men would visit sex workers. Some do, but most don’t appear to find it validating. Perhaps I would replace the word “power” with “validation,” but the two can be r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 08:14 PM
1

I would guess because talking about people being in “leagues” can be a bit uncomfortable/harsh, for one thing. Now for me, I do believe leagues exist in a general sense, but often take issue with how people use the term. The “I deserve someone in my league (as determined by me)” attitude. Because well, if you’re not finding someone in your league, either you’re not getting out enough, or that’s not your league. This doesn’t mean you should settle for someone you’re not attracted to or think is “…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 07:13 PM
6

Well, both men and women have a biological clock. This is kind of obvious. However, yes, it seems to be only recently that people are talking about how men’s sperm plays a vital role in determining if a woman can get pregnant, miscarriages, birth defects, and fully determines the sex of the baby. This understanding challenges the old-fashioned notion that it’s somehow the woman’s “fault” if she can’t “bear him a son.” It’s also interesting to note that without the modern invention of Viagra, how…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:22 AM
8

A lot is about sex, but that’s definitely not the only driving force in society. Asexual people still generally like to have nice things, create things, and ya know, eat and survive. Sex often seems to be more a means to an end too, than the end in itself. “Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.” — (probably not) Oscar Wilde
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 11:40 PM
1

I mean obviously if he doesn’t want her he’ll be resentful, but it sometimes sounds like he will still be resentful even if he did want her at first. Because I’ve seen quite a few guys saying they are jealous that their girlfriends had a chance to sleep with other people/more people than they did. Questioning if she’s really attracted to him, never being able to be convinced she is, obsessing over casual sex and whatever they think someone else is getting more of than they are. Like a kid who ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 09:52 PM
–

Most do occasionally, and yes it’s going to warp everyone’s perceptions to some degree. But most women don’t watch habitually like most men, and that makes quite a difference. Especially since most guys aren’t interacting with other men’s dicks irl, their view is shaped directly from porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 03:12 AM
3

You’re on the right track here imo. Women who actively seek out casual hookups (a minority), basically are picky because they can be due to gender ratios. They can “shop” on apps, and only looks matter because they have already decided it’s casual. Women who don’t normally do hookups or are merely “open” to them (a majority), are far more likely to go for the guy who is available when the mood strikes. Someone who is chill to hang out with and she might date under other circumstances, who is att…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 03:08 AM
–

Generally, I’ve found it’s men who perceive their average size dicks as small, probably because they’re the main porn consumers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 02:29 AM
1

You’re correct that a lot of it has to do with the fact that the man being the one to approach is customary. However, women do also mask “better”/more due to differences in how boys and girls are raised. Because this does not just apply to dating, but to all social situations, and this is why girls/women usually aren’t diagnosed as early in life. This doesn’t always equate to better outcomes though, as delayed diagnosis and constant masking can mean more anxiety and depression.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 11:52 PM
9

Indoctrinating your kids can absolutely backfire. I was raised very conservative, not quite fundie but fundie-leaning mainstream Christian, homeschooled, full “school brainwashes kids so I’m gonna brainwash you instead” deal, and definitely don’t hold those views anymore. Had my parents been more moderate right, I probably wouldn’t have questioned. But when you’re pushing into extremism like a lot of MAGAs and woke leftists these days, teens/young adults tend to rebel.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:52 PM
23

Does he though? Or does he feel resentful as though he’s settling because he doesn’t have options? I see that sentiment quite frequently expressed here, men who feel cheated that they didn’t get to sleep around and have to settle for one woman. We always want what we can’t have. I don’t think rich Chads with a million options and massive egos make good partners, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think bitter guys who feel they have no options and have to take whatever they can get do either. I wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:59 PM
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I’m just gonna say it’s interesting how men always give the same sort of responses to this question they refuse to accept from women. “I love him even if he’s not the hottest guy I’ve ever slept with,” “It’s not all about looks,” “He became attractive to me because of his personality,” = “HE’S A BETA BUX AND YOU’RE USING HIM FOR MONEY AND STABILITY, you’re not actually attracted to him, poor guy!” But apparently staying with an older woman when you’re into 18yr olds because of love, stability, c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 04:19 AM
–

Yeah and men seem to be absolutely terrified of becoming the less hot guy who she married. So why aren’t women supposed to be afraid of that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 04:09 AM
–

It sounds like you’re describing a man who, to put it somewhat crudely, does not have a stick up his ass. Perhaps the lowest common denominator of man without stick up ass, sure, but it doesn’t always matter when it comes to women who aren’t exactly “top-tier” themselves. They aren’t afraid to ask, aren’t afraid to get rejected, because they aren’t smart enough (in that way) to overthink things. Being interesting is always a plus, but just being more laid back and fun is more appealing to most p…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 03:35 AM
8

As a neurodivergent (auADHD) woman, no, most neurotypical women are not understanding just because it’s a woman.lol At least not when they actually encounter us in the wild. They’re just as cruel if not more so, because they expect a certain higher level social intelligence from women. I didn’t have friends until I started being able to spot other neurodivergent women. So while I agree there’s a huge gap in performative acceptance vs actual social acceptance, it’s not a gender thing. One more th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:37 PM
1

The cleaning example isn’t about emotional intelligence on either side. He knows things need to be cleaned and that she’s upset, he just doesn’t want to and doesn’t think it’s his job. And no, calling him a child isn’t an “emotionally intelligent” response, but making a “cleaning routine” probably won’t help either because the issue isn’t communication. Women twisting themselves in knots to cOMmUnIcAtE and gentle parent men who understand perfectly but just don’t care, is pretty common. I would …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:04 PM
3

To some degree yeah, I don’t think it’s actually helpful to hyperfixate or try to create “formulas” for something there’s no formula for, like TRP tries to sell. But sometimes it’s just too vague, leading some less socially adept people to fill in the blanks with what they want to believe, and then conclude they were “lied to.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:40 PM
8

I tend to agree, as I find the main issue with “blue pill” advice is just that they don’t elaborate, assuming their audience will “get it.” Likely an issue of people who are more toward the neurotypical side of the spectrum talking to people who may be a little further toward the neurodivergent side. The only things I’d partially disagree on are 4 and 5. Respectful objectification is just sexual desire. Objectification implies lack of respect. And although I agree with most of what you say in 5,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 12:59 PM
10

I can’t tell you for sure because I don’t know you, but I would guess it’s because you’re wound pretty tight and don’t socialize in circles where people are having casual sex. Generally speaking, they aren’t. This only applies to women who are very much into casual sex and pursue it, which is a minority of women. This is because they have a lot more options for casual since so many more men than women are open to it. But for most women, the difference between casual and relationship material is …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:20 AM
15

This is just nothing but assumptions that are more likely to be false than true. But because your brain is literally cooked from manosphere content, you don’t know what a normal woman is and will not be able to move past this. The average number of lifetime sexual partners is 4-7, depending on which stats you look at. At your age, you’re more likely to run into the issues of dating women who have been married or in a serious relationship with the same guy for the past 5-15 yrs, than you are to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:10 AM
–

Yes, but also could all be signs of someone who just doesn’t want a relationship. But either way, they are red flags if you’re looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:16 AM
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These are really good ones, but I do have to add that I did most of these while living with nosey and controlling parents, and kept some of them up (like the phone face down, not wanting partners to meet my family) for a longass time after that just as a reflex. It took some work to change those habits to avoid looking so sus.lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:10 AM
3

I’m struggling a little to understand, but I think you’re saying that men should just ignore the women they find unattractive instead of constantly berating them online? Which yes, I agree. However, that’s not what this is about. It’s a matter of trying to scare the women they are attracted to into behaving the way they want. “If you don’t settle down with a nice guy like me in your 20s, you’ll be a ran-through old hag!” Of course the reality is that older and/or high-n women rarely actually hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:48 PM
3

Wouldn’t surprise me. I found stats) stating about 18% of married men are on dating apps compared to 6% of married women. However, given that a lot more men than women are on dating apps, about the same percentages of men and women on those apps might be married. Even more disheartening is that according to this study, 65.3% of Tinder users ADMITTED to being either married or in a relationship. Now, to be fair, as a bisexual woman, I ran into a lot of ethically non-monogamous couples when I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:10 PM
1

A good sign that someone’s talking crap is when they keep repeating some little mantra like this one without elaborating with any specific examples or definitions. This is because specific examples can be refuted, but your audience can fill in the blanks with whatever suits them when you’re speaking in catchy but vague phrases like “responsibility without authority.” Men will hear this and go “Oh yeah! I feel like I have a lot of responsibilities but no authority. This guy gets what it’s like to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:50 PM
7

It’s not really about “hypergamy” or morals, more just a desire to feel kind of special. Or at least like they’re actually asking you out because something caught their attention, not just asking Woman #247 because… you’re there, female, and didn’t appear absolutely hideous on first glance. The “spray and pray” approach to dating isn’t immoral, but can be rather disheartening to those on the receiving end of it. I would guess that despite men’s complaints about “hypergamy,” they’d feel the same …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:25 PM
3

This isn’t about private thoughts and desires. The problem is when they make those thoughts and desires other people’s business in a way that is hard to ignore. Most men don’t, but enough do that women in jobs that are either highly public-facing or male-dominated have to deal with it constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 04:50 PM
15

I swear “the wall” has wheels, anywhere from 25 to 50 depending on how old the woman in question is. Always just over the horizon, never quite there.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 01:45 AM
13

If she means “I hate that I have to sift through and waste time on so many men who only want sex,” then this is pretty universal to the experience of dating men and is in fact an issue with men. If she really means she is sexually desired but never (or very rarely) romantically desired, then yeah, that’s a personality issue. Both can also just be a “not socializing enough” issue. Dating apps are filled with horny men (many married) and not nearly as many women. So men who rely on them tend to no…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 12:50 AM
3

If Bob truly feels the need for all these things, that cannot be quenched by simply getting to know a woman very well before putting a ring on it, he’ll repel any wife-material women. He will either end up single or with a rather unattractive, high-n BPD woman who thinks his jealousy is a sign of love and is very passionate in the bedroom, but also goes through is phone, calls him 20 times per day at work, takes a baseball bat to his car after getting a whiff of his grandma’s perfume, and reveng…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 12:33 AM
17

I mean, it’s kind of like how we decided that human slaves and human organs are nontradables. Some people think you should be able to sell your kidney for example, which honestly could be considered more justifiable than prostitution since it’s saving someone’s life. BUT then that creates a market for organs, and an economy where poor people could be forced or encouraged to start selling their organs to rich people, instead of receiving help from social safety nets. It basically opens a can of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 08:07 PM
3

That’s because feminists pick and choose when sexualizing women is good or bad. If women can benefit from the attention I mean… that’s consent. Sexualizing oneself for one’s own reasons IS fundamentally different being treated like a sex object when one doesn’t want to be. It’s like the difference between someone telling a self-deprecating joke, and being made fun of by someone else when you never asked to be. Now I have to add some nuance here, because I’m not a “whatever choice a woman makes i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:23 AM
3

Agreed. The US still has a long way to go, just pointing out the progress that has in fact been made relative to the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 11:13 AM
4

Men are no longer expected to support a family on one income. Technological advances have greatly reduced men’s physical labor. There hasn’t been a draft in the US since the 1970s. Men aren’t jailed or nearly as persecuted for being gay or not adhering to traditional masculine presentation. There’s a reason old men always think young men are “soft,” even if it’s not an entirely fair assessment. Because in terms of physical labor and danger, life does tend to get easier with each passing generati…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 02:05 AM
5

I do agree, but I’d say most people tend to want the same very general, basic things. Just not the same specific things. Like if you go to a restaurant, one person orders the pasta, one person the steak, one person the salmon. But nobody orders the dead possum on the road. So you can rightly say “I’m sorry I ordered you the steak when you wanted the salmon, you didn’t tell me,” but you can’t really say “Sorry I threw the roadkill on your plate, you didn’t tell me.” That’s an obvious excuse to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 01:15 AM
7

What should be understood: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” basically. You know you don’t want to be cheated on. You know you don’t want to be yelled at or demeaned. You know you don’t want to always have to clean up after someone else’s mess. You know you want your birthday remembered. You know you want to be listened to and considered. These are some examples of things that should not need to be spelled out in a relationship. When it comes to more specific details and thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 12:34 AM
1

Well that’s interesting. Sex certainly isn’t of top priority to me, but even so, I can’t imagine staying in a relationship with someone withholding sex for 6+ months. Not having sex due to health issues or something would be different, but using it as an ultimatum… seems really weird to me that either gender would stick around for that, but to each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 12:18 AM
5

Travis was famous among American football fans before Taylor, now he’s famous worldwide and even people who never watch football and don’t even listen to Taylor’s music (me, for example) know who he is. Because she’s constantly in the media, and now so is he. Some people are not satisfied with some fame and fortune, they always want more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 12:12 AM
1

“Yet, the study found that a year on from the divorce men were 4% better off than just before they divorced. Women, by contrast, were 40% worse off after twelve months.” source Because either paying for daycare or working fewer hours costs more than paying child support. Which, incidentally, is what I would guess is the main reason most men don’t seek primary or 50/50 custody. And why those who do fight for custody tend to live with their parents (so they can dump most of the parenting on their …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 12:04 AM
–

There’s a big difference between “not attracted to men,” and “not aroused by just a headless male body with no face, personality, or anything else attached to it.” Most women are attracted to the male body when it’s attached to a man they like, but aren’t especially fascinated by looking at random nude men. I’m a bi woman, and I can definitely admire both the male and female form as just a body, but am not exactly aroused by either without finding the whole person attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:14 PM
2

Idk, I’d say closer to 25 is when this starts to kinda be true, especially nowadays. Some people are just late bloomers without anything being seriously wrong or them being very religious. 20 is basically extended adolescence anymore. “Wrong” is also a really broad term, as there’s something kinda “wrong” with most people, but then there are other people who, ya know, REALLY have something wrong with them. Someone who’s a virgin later in life might be a walking red flag, but not necessarily. Tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:41 PM
2

I’m not saying some men aren’t loyal, but overall they don’t seem to be any more loyal than women. Somewhat more men cheat, and “loyalty” seems to go out the door the moment she gets sick (is no longer of service). Seems to be more “complacent” than “loyal.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:18 PM
25

First off, most women don’t say they’re happiest with no man, but happier with none than with the wrong one. These women very obviously do not need a man, but they wanted what they consider to be the right man. Second, the lives of rich and famous people have almost nothing to do with the lives of average people. I’m sure these women have iron-clad prenups, they can afford nannies and cooks and housekeepers, even surrogates if they don’t want to go through pregnancy. I think Travis is using Tayl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:23 AM
2

But if the woman you’re with already isn’t tolerable… wouldn’t it maybe be better to be single? Statistically, most men aren’t “financially ruined” after a divorce, they’re better off than her. I agree a lot of men think this, but doesn’t seem to be the case in reality most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:15 AM
5

Sure but you get to make her listen to a long-winded lecture on men chasing balls or something, too, so seems an equal exchange.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:07 AM
15

I’m talking about men already in relationships, not situationships. A lot of men sooner cheat than leave, so if they’re getting sex elsewhere, why stay? Seems to be mostly because they don’t want to give up the benefit of having someone who makes their life easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:03 AM
104

If this were the case, why don’t more men just leave after the sex gets routine? It’s more rare for men to be the ones to pull the plug even on bad relationships. It’s almost like maybe they’re benefiting in ways they don’t want to acknowledge. Like having someone else to shoulder the mental load and take care of things behind the scenes while he gets to shine and feel smarter, funnier, superior, is exactly what he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:13 AM
–

The casual fuck buddies are young hot guys Are they though? I mean sometimes I’m sure, but ya know, average looking middle aged people hook up too. Of course they don’t wanna hook up with someone they find ugly, but I would guess being good in bed and not causing drama are the main priorities at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:57 AM
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It’s definitely not just about a few chores here and there as a favor, like it is when guys spend some money on dinner or something. That’s an occasional thing. Most women absolutely do not mind spoiling their husbands from time to time, or even doing most of the chores if he works more outside the home. What this is, is when a man does so little in terms of general adult responsibilities, that she starts to feel like his mother. She has to schedule and plan everything, remind him of everything,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:42 AM
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“Like,” sure. Expect all the time, definitely not. Otherwise I would be forever single.lol Humans are human and there’s an ebb and flow to everything we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 12:41 AM
3

For me, it depends on if my partner can also be my best friend in this scenario, as my husband is. (Since you say “truly fulfilling romantic relationship,” I’m guessing so.) That plus getting to keep family as friends would push me toward A. Even though I would really dislike not being able to have other friendships, as a neurodivergent person, I’ve always struggled to keep non-family friendships anyway. But if it were between just sexual relationships or just friendships, I’m going B all the wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:17 PM
1

I’m not talking about being a “womanly man” or a “manly woman,” but more… embracing one’s full humanity, feeling secure as man or woman, and not hyper-fixating on these restrictive gender roles and stereotypes. And these feminine energy influencers and alpha male influencers like to make EVERYTHING gendered to a ridiculous extent. Last but not least, I’m sorry but men won’t ever make progress if they’re too concerned that some women won’t find it attractive. If women were too concerned that men …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:05 PM
–

Because she doesn’t have to mother the guy she’s having casual sex with. Plus there’s no pressure that she has to have sex with him at a certain frequency or he’ll get upset, and if he starts treating her poorly, she can just walk away. Some women actually need a positive emotional connection to enjoy sex, and these women aren’t going to enjoy casual any more than sex in a bad marriage. But others just need there not to be a negative relationship situation going on, not to view the man they’re h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:07 PM
3

Consent. I think most schools do teach about that now. But when I was young, it was so much about “saying no” because of pregnancy and sti risk (but since you’re gonna do it anyway, here’s a condom), that there wasn’t anything about what an actual “yes” looks like. Because sex outside of marriage was always framed as a “mistake” guys are peer-pressured and girls are pressured by guys into making, so heaven forbid we be deliberate about whether or not we actually want to do it. And in marriage/a …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 01:50 PM
2

Although I do think you’re overreacting a bit here, I’m not going to dismiss this like most of the comments here. Because I do come across this type of content pretty frequently and do think it’s insidious. As a disclaimer, some of my interests (like Jungian psychology) make me more likely than most to come across some poorly understood takes on “masculine and feminine energy” and spirituality in general. But I’ve been noticing this feminist or new age gal to tradwife/right wing pipeline for a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 01:00 PM
21

I mean yeah, but men are getting called out by the internet in ways they weren’t before too. The internet is revealing the worst of humanity in general. As for whether or not women used to be perceived as innocent, eh, I’d say yes and no. It was, and still is to some degree, more of a polarity — women were (and still are to some degree) seen as either angels or scheming, manipulative devils. With the truth, that women are humans and a real mixed bag just like men, seemingly evading a lot of guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:42 PM
1

I mean as long as I knew the person remembered a lot about everything I wouldn’t take it as a red flag. But yeah, probably best to hold back a little at first.lol (Also handy for catching liars, I’m sure!)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:56 PM
5

BPD and narcissist women love bomb just like BPD and narcissist men, it may look a bit different but the energy is the same. Love bombing is either sort of a manipulative survival mechanism (BPD), or just a straight up manipulation tactic (narcissist), not really something you want. Especially since these people will be just as horrible as they were nice to you when the time comes. A healthy person will not love bomb you, but will show that they like you, those gestures will just be appropriate …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:38 PM
3

Of course, nobody likes rejection. It just happens less this way because men are not as likely to befriend a woman they don’t want more than friendship with. Women are generally more open to being just friends with a man. Now I don’t agree that continuing to be friends with someone you rejected (which they also must choose) is “emotional abuse and exploitation.” Usually it doesn’t work out, and there’s nothing wrong with ending a friendship with someone who rejected you, but come on now. That’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 02:16 PM
-1

Not sure how “situationship” sounds any more palatable than “friends with benefits”? Sure, “fuck buddy” is a little crude, but otherwise, they all pretty much sound the same to me. Seems like you’re reading way too much into this. Sometimes women want it to become a relationship, but more and more often, I’m finding that’s definitely not always the case among my single friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:49 AM
2

Can’t quite tell if this is satire intended to point out men’s hypocrisy when it comes to claiming to be these strong leaders and innovators and then blaming women for every little problem in their lives, or if somebody just smoked a little too much wacky grass.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 07:10 PM
1

As the youth would say, “it’s not that deep.” It’s basically self-deprecating humor regarding one’s attraction triggers. Men have been joking about “beer goggles” and “butterfaces” and being a sucker for blondes/brunettes/redheads etc. since forever. I often see men asking each other if Sydney Sweeney is actually pretty or if it’s just the boobs. This is nothing new or exclusive to women, just has a new meme format.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 05:41 PM
2

Women who are into to casual sex, yeah I’m sure, those would be guys they find physically attractive and are decent in bed, but that’s it. For me personally no not really, I’ve had a few casual hookups but they were with guys I would’ve probably dated had I not been fresh out of a long-term relationship and not emotionally ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:45 PM
1

Well I’d say once you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, odd past experiences like that will tend to come up. And something like “this is why I avoided virgins” can be relevant to conversation. But on occasion, I was just a bit surprised at how early on I was told rather detailed and sometimes embarrassing sex “horror stories” by men, when all I’d really shared about exes at that point was like… “we weren’t compatible.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:35 PM
4

Yes, exactly. I would guess most cases in which the woman is proposing, that’s how it is, and those guys are probably actually less likely to “joke” like they’ve been handed a life sentence at the wedding. It’s just sort of a knee-jerk reaction after seeing so many grooms who do act that way even though they proposed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:23 PM
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