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Fluid-Structure2270 Archive

View 0 posts and 49 comments by Fluid-Structure2270 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yes, this exactly. Even being abused is perpetuating a cycle. I was the one abused in my relationship but I realize now I was to blame for not seeing the red flags sooner and not getting out before we had a kid together. Trying to heal myself and learn from my mistakes, so I don’t damage the kid who’s with me 24/7 by falling into another abusive relationship. It’s been hard to cope with no longer being dependent or a victim but feels empowering.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 01:41 AM
1

It sounds like he stopped once the pull off the condom. That’s not much of a “dick’s worth.” But don’t think with your dick.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 01:37 AM
0

Fwiw I am closer to the “woman” in your scenario. I stayed at home with and kept the kid in the end because ex had a high-paying job, the ex kept our house and all the assets because ex doesn’t care about court orders, and the ex pays me child support only because their state would shut down the business otherwise but it’s hardly a “hefty sum” (about 1% of ex’s total income monthly). The daycare payments they’re supposed to make? Ex has paid $125.71 in a year. They’re ordered to pay $800 per mon…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:20 PM
0

Sounds like that is specific to your case and not most cases. In most cases the house has to be divided as an asset per state law, or they have to agree to give up other equal assets in order to keep it. That’s hardly net gain, simply net neutral. “Hefty amounts of alimony and child support” is an opinion, but it’s certainly not one that is backed by reality. Going from sharing $100,000 a year to having $40,000 a year AND having to care for a child with a reduced income and being the sole single…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:15 PM
2

This! I went through 2 counselors over 2 years until I found my current and it’s like night and day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 11:46 AM
-1

What do women gain by being married? Statistically women are less happy being married, have more housework, tend to have to stay home and be with any potential offspring 24/7, are less likely to have a satisfactory sex life or orgasm, are only marginally better financially. Family courts now favor 50/50 so child support isn’t a given anymore, nor is full custody. It sounds to me like they don’t benefit in general. Maybe you’re the exception. Maybe she was happier married than single, you did all…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 01:10 AM
0

Nobody has to save you. Don’t stick your dick in someone you just met 4 hours ago or someone you don’t know well and you won’t need to make an excuse. Men need to stop putting themselves in situations where they could get screwed for wanting to screw irresponsibly. This dude did great by leaving. That’s what all other men should do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 01:09 AM
1

Sounds like my ex. As soon as I left, took the kid because ex had threatened to kill us with guns, the ex started claiming I was the one who had threatened to kill us all, I was the one who had cheated (even though they admitted to me before I left that they’d been cheating since before we got married), I was the one who abused them (even though they’d been the ones who broke our furniture and threw things and screamed), I was keeping the kid from them (even though they literally refused to visi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 01:03 AM
1

Gosh. Sounds like my ex and my partner’s ex as well. I’m so sorry you went through that. It is rough but glad you got out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:56 AM
7

I begged for years, I cried, I wanted the ex to be better for our son and for me. You’re not alone. I don’t regret the begging, as I’m not ashamed of wanting our family to stay together. But I do regret doing it for so long and not moving on sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:51 AM
5

Exactly, I see a lot of dudes in here doing exactly that. It’s hard to realize you have some of the responsibility for the marriage failing. But it’s life changing when you do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:49 AM
2

That’s really sweet. You gotta make sure you have boundaries but it’s good you have a good relationship with them. Hopefully it stays that way and they view you as family for life. Fwiw, my grandmother is still part of her ex-husband’s family and they completely cut him out. It’s been almost 30 years since the divorce and she still gets invited to the family functions, LOL. So sometimes it works. I’m rooting for you and your kid that they stay nice even if the ex tries to blame you for her own b…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:42 AM
2

Probably picks them up at the local high school or college. They want to please him because he kidnapped them? 😆
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:27 AM
2

Mentally, developmentally, they’re not that far off. This dude is either FOS or he’s a POS.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:27 AM
1

I sure don’t know but I can guess based on your comments about them. Respect is earned not freely given and I completely respect my kid. He’s turned out to be a gentle and empathetic person and respectful of others. Unfortunately I don’t respect grown men who call grown women “girls” and will always call out the inherent misogyny. Sorry it bothers you. Would you like it if your SO called you a little boy and then said it was just another word for man? I doubt it. I can tell why you’re single tho…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:04 AM
-6

You can assume that but he doesn’t say so. He might have had a great sex life with a wife who was big at the beginning of their marriage. Nothing here indicates he was starved for touch and intimacy, just that he now gets laid with women half his age. It’s odd to me that some men find it necessary to do a “victory lap” when they’re sticking their dicks into people who are young enough to be their children. If we wouldn’t be doing a victory lap for a 30 year old doing it with a 10 year old it’s n…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 05:03 AM
-1

It’s just how to stay in a relationship with a woman 101, but if you prefer men I get it. No judgement.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 04:58 AM
-4

Not really. Men who respect women don’t call them “girls.” Good thing you don’t bring any around, I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 04:56 AM
-5

“I bring a girl around.” You did. Who refers to women as “girls”? That’s a bizarre way to refer to an adult woman tbh. I’ve never thought of any woman over the age of 18 as a “girl.”
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 12:14 AM
1

Okay dokay!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 12:12 AM
2

Same here! Now I compare them and it’s like there’s no comparison. 😅 I’m still in awe about it but it’s wonderful.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 12:11 AM
1

Is that the question? “What’s your belief?” “God.” ?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 09:16 PM
4

Right? This isn’t even about a divorce, just a woman who had a baby and the baby’s father doesn’t want to see the baby but wants full custody. Not sure how it’s applicable here.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:36 PM
1

What’s the question?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:33 PM
2

People who are abusive do this. Women who are abusive won’t take responsibility and play the blame game. But abusive cheating men do this too, all the time. Unfortunately known too many cheaters, male and female, who do this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:31 PM
-1

Well, she is right. You should mind your own business. But if you bring a girl around, then she should be concerned. Having underage minors around your kids and having a romantic relationship with underage minors is just weird. If you mean a woman, then you can tell her to piss off and mind her own business too. And do it gleefully. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:29 PM
1

Plenty of men on this forum are like that too, LOL. I think it’s just a human feeling to be mad about a relationship failing. Some people get sad, some get mad, and some don’t care. Feelings are funny like that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:27 PM
1

Meh. Sounds like you’re still affected by how she feels about you. That might something you want to work out. Whether or not she hates you isn’t your concern unless she’s doing things that ruin your relationship with your child together, like refusing visits or screaming at or assaulting you. It’s also weird you’re calling her feelings “an attitude.” She can hate you if she wants and she’s not required to tell you why she’s got “animosity.” I mean, there’s probably a reason she wanted a divorce …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:26 PM
2

Of course! I know how it feels to be trapped in anger and it sucks. I hope you can find a way to break free. :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:19 PM
8

I would say it was the chemistry. I had situations like that and thought maybe I wasn’t over my ex, but when I met my current partner from our first date on it was like fireworks physically and emotionally. Honestly anything I felt with the ex pales in comparison, which I never thought could happen. It was like 10x the attraction. It’s been over 6 months now and it’s just as strong as when we first met. I think if you can find the right woman it makes all the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:18 PM
4

Getting laid by “females” (by which I’m guessing you mean barely legally adult women) just isn’t worth it to me. I like real relationships, not simply someone to stick something into who “just want[s] to please me” and “look[s] amazing.” I want someone to spend a lifetime with. So lucky I have a partner who feels the same and isn’t out chasing tail or only in the relationship because I “look amazing.” That sounds shallow af, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:13 PM
2

It’s not normal, but I did it for months until my ex started crying and calling them up and playing victim to their own family, claiming I was the one who was terrible and manipulative. Then I found out that ex’s family didn’t really want to cut out ex and despite the fact that they claimed they hated ex and missed our son, they supported ex all the way in court and in front of the GAL while trashing me. I had to stop letting them see our son because they kept inviting the ex to the same functio…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:05 PM
1

I totally get not being able to afford a therapist! They’re expensive and honestly there have been months where I couldn’t either. I get it. Some things that helped me in between were taking courses on Coursera and EdX about mindfulness and self-discovery and happiness. https://online.yale.edu/courses/science-well-being Yale has an excellent course that really improved my overall mental health. Berkeley also puts out a newsletter that I still follow and the suggestions are based in solid science…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 12:26 AM
2

Good Inside is a great one too! If there’s one thing I’ve learned is that kids learn from us. They model us. If we’re doing well then they model that too unfortunately. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 12:06 AM
1

Honestly I don’t know that any of this will do much unless there is substantial evidence, ie recorded or written, to back up every single one of your points. It’s a he said she said kind of situation. You’re screwed if she denies this and you don’t have any evidence. My ex did the same kinds of things, we brought it up, and although I did the psych evaluation as required of both of us ex didn’t do the psych evaluation at all. Ex still gets visits as per the norm. Nothing happened except a “tsk” …
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:30 PM
2

Ugh, I wish that had happened to me. I ended up having to leave the ex because of the violence and abuse and infidelity. Kinda wish it was vice versa so I wouldn’t have been homeless with a baby for a while. Took the kid and left ex in the dirt.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:12 PM
3

The best advice I have is work it out with your therapist. Honestly it has brought up tons of anger but also laid it to rest. Also I started meditating and wishing my ex well and it works. I realized my anger towards my ex wasn’t benefiting me anymore but the ex didn’t care that I was angry. It felt good to lay it all to rest even though the ex was cheating, lying, and abusive our entire relationship and really messed me up for a good while. It’s been going on 3 years now and 6 months with a goo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:09 PM
2

I love the book “Parenting from the Inside Out.” It really makes you work on yourself as a parent. I’d also suggest going to therapy for yourself to make sure you’re the best possible version of yourself you can be. It has helped so much in shaping the way I parent more effectively and compassionately, both my child and myself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:05 PM
2

It is not. It is illegal for all uses in Idaho.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:01 PM
1

My ex kicked my kid and me out and filed for divorce 2 years ago and then promptly refused to follow any of the court orders that ordered my ex to do anything. We’re still waiting on ex to provide financial docs to the court-ordered financial evaluator for our business that the evaluator asked for last August. It’s like they don’t really want to be divorced, even if they initiated it. I’m at a loss and was so ready to be divorced years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 04:24 AM
2

Yeah, my partner’s ex was similar to your ex though. It’s not only women that get a slap on the wrist. Sometimes men, if they have enough power or money, get patted on the back for being vindictive.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:52 AM
2

I got kicked out of my house with our infant son. Left and went across the country, came back shortly after to let ex have a requested visit with our son (ex otherwise didn’t care, visit was actually to talk to me come to find out), and ex let me come in the house.. only to find ex had destroyed everything of mine with a few exceptions that I was able to take back with. Talked about it to my lawyer but he said nothing can really be done. Ex took car in my name, still keeps the house, destroyed m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:50 AM
1

What state do you live in? Some states are equitable and some states do split evenly. Depending on where you live, she hasn’t lost her mind. She’s just following the law for what she’s entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:36 AM
1

I came here to say this. His attorney f**ked him over by telling him he could claim dependents. Sounds like they’ve been living with mom since February 2022 and he shouldn’t have claimed them. I can’t believe an attorney actually advised this. Terrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:33 AM
2

Ugh, that makes me so mad. Women should have to work too if they want full custody. Too many stay at home.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:29 AM
1

Fewer than 10 percent of divorces go to trial. Over 90 percent settle or agree in mediation. https://www.lawyers.com/legal-info/family-law/divorce/what-types-of-divorces-typically-go-to-trial.html So much for most women wanting to burn through money. That may be true in your case, but that is not true for most women.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:28 AM
1

Meh. My ex watched those and I did not but they didn’t help my ex at all. Striking a deal doesn’t work when the deal is about a child who means a lot to her. Maybe it helps with the money aspect.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:21 AM
0

Honestly something I wish I had done in my marriage with my ex is the book Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman. He really outlines how to talk to each other in conflict situations, how to make dating a priority, how to be a better spouse in general. I didn’t read it until after I left the ex, but it’s helped immensely in my relationship with my now partner. If the marriage is at all salvageable and she’s at all willing to go on dates with you, get the book. Marriage is tough and I think most marriag…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:19 AM
1

That’s why you gotta date men only.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 01:48 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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