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Formal_Ad4612 Archive

View 1 posts and 48 comments by Formal_Ad4612 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
52

Formal_Ad4612/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 06:53 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

“What’s needed but not what I want”. There’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:04 PM
5

Wrong sub bro, see ya
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:35 AM
2

😂
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:35 AM
2

Bro, 12/31/25 was 2 days ago. Don’t respond to her. It sounds like this situation has already inflicted pain for many parties - it’s only going to get worse until you stop the bleeding. I don’t think you need me to tell you how to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:08 PM
5

I stopped after the taliban reference, and so should you - looks like 22 reasons to move on with your life OP!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 01:35 PM
1

This guy gets it!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 10:06 PM
4

Sheesh bro, living like 3 lives since June!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 08:43 PM
9

Keep going my brother. I’m 5 years your senior. Separated 12/2023, finalized 12/2024, lost my mother and had a health crisis in between. The first 2 holiday seasons and “new years” were such a shock that I just somehow managed to survive, and so will you. I’ve had a full year now post divorce and… I still struggle with the loss of a planned for future and lack of a cohesive vision about my next chapter. But it’s 100 times better than it was a year ago, and so will be for you. Get through the nig…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 11:37 PM
1

And when the voices get the loudest, you’re getting closer OP!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 11:28 PM
2

No no, you mean “divorced AND feeling used” 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 02:48 AM
1

Haha, yep! Got mine at her suggestion 6 months before she left. But I love the fucking tat (minus the meaning), and figured I was going to have a mid life crisis so why not have something around and cover jt up, and then winter so no first date problematic, and then… 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:52 AM
3

Find a new dream.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 07:57 PM
1

Same. I “missed the signs” in part because… I missed them, and in part because when we weren’t fighting my experience was otherwise with someone who was literally obsessed with me (at least outwardly)
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 06:03 PM
3

And “thank you for allowing me this time to soften my landing at your expense”
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:59 PM
5

Yes, incredibly insulting
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:40 PM
1

I just think to call the order in which one is born is irrelevant. And as to the red flag of coming from a “divorced home”… that was you when your married the 2nd time
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 08:33 PM
6

Dude, think about this for a second. You are becoming your own red flag with these generalizations
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 04:03 PM
1

I feel you OP. My take is quite simple and relates to the “I should haves” RE: your marriage - you’ve got flip that script into what you SHOULD DO NOW, for you. Finance, health, etc
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 04:29 PM
3

This sounds like the sort of dangerous generalization that contributes to divorce. WTF diff does it make??
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 04:15 PM
4

I mean, I think it would be unfair to assume that we gentleman “feel like targets” and our female counterparts do not. I think this just perpetuates the very unfortunate dynamic of mid-life dating mentioned throughout this thread. Are awareness and diligence important? Absolutely. But personally, I think this can be done in a healthy way WITH someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:01 PM
1

Hmmm, best I got dude, and it’s probs not gonna land well, but… all the things you’re saying you “don’t want to do” are exactly what you should NOT Do. You don’t drag her through the mud, air the dirties, et al; what you do is say nothing, and you say nothing without feeling like you’re silently admitting guilt or hiding. My experience was one that led to a “cleaner” path than most - no kids, no true mutual friends (only by extension). So for me, it was only logical to realize there was no good …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 02:23 AM
1

Echo this. I was so disgusted with the amount of waste, rummaged my 3,500sq ft house to fill my 1000sq foot condo, and then was like… dude start fucking fresh
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 10:10 PM
2

You’re going the right things my brotha! Don’t be discouraged if you read this tomorrow and not of it resonates. It’s a shitty roller coaster, and getting your thoughts out of your head will make it smoother :)
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 06:04 PM
3

I don’t see this working either dude, this looks like a drunk 22 year old missing the mark
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 04:24 PM
3

I’d imagine demographics play into this a lot. In my 6 months of post D swiping, Tinder is for hookups and bios don’t matter (ironic or not that I met my ex her 13 yrs ago…). All of the dating apps are a volume game, you have to do the 1000 views for 100 left wipes for 10 connections and 1 date. Numbers don’t lie - gotta keep swiping and build that pipeline no matter how much it interferes with the image you have of yourself. I consider myself the nice guy and gentleman too - this doesn’t matter…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 01:38 PM
4

Sorry bro bro, I feel ya. About a year and half out from separation and 6 months from finalization. No kids, and I know this… “complicates” things. My 2 cents: I think the experience of divorce is one which, unlike much of life in general, requires you to compartmentalize things (in as healthy of a way you can). The dating, the home purchase, it all should feel impossible if you’re still knee deep in the process. But if you’re knee deep in the process, the gift is that you shouldn’t be focusing …
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:48 PM
4

It’s a tell as old as time, as are the solutions. Doesn’t make it easy - sure wasn’t for me. But it gets better. For me, it was literally just about accepting the invitations or making my own when I could… not for women, just PEOPLE. Momentum works here just like anything else… the more I isolated and turned down things, that harder and harder it came. Most of my support network was some 800mi from me (I live in Houston, hometown KC). I made (and still make) a lot of extended trips up there than…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:53 PM
3

It’s the worst. You’ll think about this stuff less and less, and it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:58 PM
2

I think what you wrote here is a good start. No reason to get anxiety about it - and if that happens anyway, best you know now before September
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 01:02 PM
2

My take is…. Tell your finance about your family and your experience - she’s gonna find out one way or another
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 11:39 AM
3

Hang in there brother. It’s hard, and those tears need to come out… watch more Schindler’s list, vent to one of those friends (some know you’re hurting more than you let on), take some magic mushrooms and record yourself patting yourself on the back and crying (🤷‍♂️), whatever it takes to feel the pain and let it pass through. It’s growing pains, which means you’re on the right path - you got this 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 12:27 AM
2

My dude, I feel you. I was chronically ill leading up to divorce and shit went Haywire during the ~12 month process. Grieving loss of spouse and best friend, as well as my mother, and just so much stress from the divorce… then anxiety and depression become stressors themselves, and so on. I say this not to wallow or point out your NEAR impossible task ahead, I say this because… it does get better. This Easter weekend my many months of acupuncture, chiro, and myofascial release finally came to fr…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 02:04 AM
3

Let’s see, ex left 12/2023, divorce finalized 11/2024, my muscle tension is just now starting to realize… so I’d estimate ~15months 😅
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 04:03 PM
5

Haha, I know it hurts brother. But I learned early in my process that at 38, ain’t getting much sympathy here 😂. That said, I figured
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 09:40 PM
6

And we wonder how some gents stay single for so long 😂.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:24 PM
1

My divorce finalized 2 days ago, 12 months to the date she left and went no contact. My expectations of others over this last year have definitely changed. I’m a very empathetic person, but prior to my divorce experience I would’ve been unequipped (at best) to really “help” anyone. Regarding connection, if I were to do it over I’d have given myself a bit more grace and not forced my myself out of my comfort zone as often as I did. I know that’s contradictory to a lot of advice. But my reality wa…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 06:04 PM
3

Likewise on all of this. 8 months in and just now allowing myself to release the perverted comfort 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 08:28 PM
1

Little late bud
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 10:01 PM
2

Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 12:39 PM
4

You get a back pat for the “plugging away while feeling like shit”. If everyone gave you back pats for your physical appearance it would get weird 😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 11:00 PM
18

I’m only 6 months in, and while my perspective of my wife has undoubtedly changed, my perspective for women has not and I hope will not. That would be a pretty extreme, I’ll call it generalization. Like, how many women are agonizing you in the way in which you describe? One piece of perspective on myself over the last 6 months is that misery loves company, and when you’re separated from your best friend, that “company” = attaching loneliness and other bad shit to my stbxw. This is a toxic cycle …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:22 AM
11

In the middle of this now. I cringe when I see an email from my attorney, as the vast majority of them during our 6 month separation are just a forward of disgusting and false claims from my wife’s Attorney/Best Friend. It’s a struggle, but I’m doing my best to make peace with the fact that these are just as described - disgusting & false claims that are no doubt salt on my open wounds, but that hold no salt regarding the financial settlement
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 05:42 PM
4

I figure awareness is the leading indicator here, and you’re clearly on your way. Catch yourself in the negative thoughts and shift them - sometimes with a positive spin, other times just dismiss the thought and move on to something else. Some days I bat 99%, other days it feels like 10% - and that wide space in between is probs where balanced human beings reside. We’re all here with some form of trauma, and we don’t get to choose when and how we experience the thick of it - remembering that and…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:55 AM
1

💯
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 10:37 PM
3

Forgive myself for my role in the marriage breakdown, forgive her for leaving, acceptance, anger, sadness, fear. Reset, Rinse and Repeat. 4.5 months in and I’m spending more days/blocks of days in forgiveness and acceptance - they are clearly my best days/blocks of days. She’s not asking for forgiveness, or speaking to me at all (she left on a dime and immediately blocked me out of her life). I could easily choose not to forgive her, but I know that will lead to bitterness - I don’t deserve bitt…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 11:58 PM
1

Ride that wave bro!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 01:23 AM
1

Wound still fresh here, and I honestly don’t know the answer nor if it matters - either way, I don’t want to be a part of the lies.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 11:14 PM
1

I feel your pain, brother, and I’m patting you on the back RN for hanging in there. I was DX’d with Crohn’s @ 6, first bowel resection at 35 around the same time as you. I brought a lot of trauma into my marriage, my physical health declined in it, and my mental health followed course - this all proved too much for my marriage and my wife left in December. It’s at the same time the greatest tragedy and the greatest blessing, because it’s made me rewire my thought patterns - and you can do the sa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:15 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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