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Fresh-Brilliant4550 Archive

View 1 post and 77 comments by Fresh-Brilliant4550 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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30

Fresh-Brilliant4550/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 10:51 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

5 4 220 it shouldn’t be that hard to not have sex. Even if you end up paying alimony consider it a clean break without kids and move on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 04:00 PM
1

My state wouldn’t budge on whatever calculator amount came out to, even with 50/50 custody. Seems ironic that someone with two masters degree is only making 40k a year and can’t make more, but I had to take on additional expenses to drop the support numbers down. Even after carrying medical, dental, vision and daycare costs I still had to pay her 150 a week. Most of the time that calculator is non negotiable and some states/judges won’t even allow a no child support settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:03 AM
1

I’m sorry an orange man has hurt you so badly. It’s going to be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 12:36 PM
2

You should and help some of us out! My biggest complaint is she doesn’t even need an attorney she can call the child support office yearly and only I need to hire an attorney to defend myself. It’s complete crap. Doesn’t cost her a dime to keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:20 PM
1

Nice yeah my state you can only subtract medical insurance (not dental or vision) and daycare and it’s calculated by overnights. So I know the second daycare ends she will go for more. Unfortunately for me, even with two masters degrees she’s always been underemployed so I can’t make that argument. They go off w2 income only.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:13 PM
4

I thought child support she can file for each year. At least in my state she doesn’t even need an attorney to ask for more, she can simply use child support services to hold me to the state formula. We have 50 50 and because of the income gap because she won’t work more than part time, I still had to give her money.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:57 PM
2

I don’t understand. If you had sex with someone else that’s not even admissible in court with no fault divorce but I guess that’s state dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 07:49 AM
3

I’ve never spoken to my ex wifes boyfriend one time even when seeing him during drop off pick up because he is that irrelevant to me. You can’t control any dumb decisions she makes like this man or anything else. I’m guessing she didn’t take your advice while married and she sure as hell isn’t going to listen to anything you say now. There isn’t any point about getting upset about it. I see no reason to interact with him at all especially shaking his hand. Just control what you can in your home …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 07:16 AM
2

Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:12 PM
3

Why are you wasting your time? A divorce is the nuclear war option to where it is never going to be inhabitable in your lifetime. Tell her you aren’t free and ghost. Why the hell are you even considering this if you didn’t have kids? Wake up my man.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 12:02 PM
2

I did, and since she didn’t commit a crime they won’t do anything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 04:25 PM
1

I’m originally from Illinois and I could second that lol.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:08 PM
2

Indiana hasn’t been too bad as far as divorce it was a completely equal split of assets and parenting without anything else. She’s just your typical bum who can get a better job with her two degrees but continues to work bar jobs for cash. She tried to argue about more support payment but I got saddled with most the maritial debt just to offset the support payments. More debt=more of the maritial estate. 50/50 also cuts into support payments, plus you get credited for health insurance and daycar…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:43 PM
6

Yeah I’ve tried. Hard to really navigate if a crime isn’t being committed. The system is reactive not proactive. Last time I attempted things when there were legitimate issues it quickly devolved into going after more of my assets and support payments. Family courts and lawyers are something I’d like to avoid unless I have concrete proof. Thought this was it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:10 PM
2

Get a personal loan if needed. Get your own credit card. Get a lawyer. She will end up owing you child support if you are a stay at home dad. Turn the tables and get what you are entitled to
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 08:04 AM
9

Lots of men having a great co parenting relationship with someone who falsely accused them of domestic violence, blindsided them with papers and stole most of their net worth and enslaved them to child support and took their kids away. That’s enough to make anyone bitter and a “co parent relationship.” Not possible. Most of the guys I see on here are really only bitter they lost their kids, not their ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 07:00 PM
1

For setting routines expecting kids that young when they start school to flip their rules/schedules houses is pretty selfish. Plus it helps them know what exactly what to expect and time to decompress on weekends. Not to mention having to pack their stuff constantly and necessities getting lost between the constant shuffling back and forth. It also helps interacting with the ex less as it’s pickup from school Monday drop off school Monday so I go a long time with no need to speak to her or see h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:12 PM
1

That 2-2-3 Weighs heavily on young kids as they get into school constantly switching routines. It for so bad with mine we had to flip to week on week off. Push for that
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 02:21 PM
3

Why are you paying bills in her name at all? Once I knew it was coming I moved my money to my own account and moved my paychecks there. Anything in her name I could care less if she defaults on. Get a lawyer if you are paying all this already, borrow, credit whatever. You are literally agreeing to pay everything why? This is why a lawyer exists so you can protect yourself and your assets, and she can’t afford one so you already have a leg up. Based on what you just posted, if you bought yourself…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 08:05 AM
5

Didn’t you do a financial discovery right off the bat? This should have listed all of the debts from both of you. If this was done; you could easily argue she spent all that money and she may have to pay you. If you didn’t do your financial disclosure there’s no way for you to prove it and you probably are screwed. The first thing you should have did was separate finances and start moving your checks into your own account, split the joint assuming she was going to get half anyways. You really sh…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 11:29 AM
2

It is very nice to be able to take the kids places without the ex wife nagging and complaining the entire time about everything.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 11:17 AM
6

Same situation. 50/50 custody yet I still have to pay her even though she has a masters degree and I have none all because she won’t work a job that pays better. Makes no sense I have full autonomy of things on my side and so does she yet I have to financially pay for her household. She gets tax free assistance and I can’t write it off on my taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 11:14 AM
3

They are going to take what you make for your last few years of your w2s and if you suddenly try to drop to 15 an hour a judge will still think you are underemployed and calculate support payments based on your w2 income. Let Her buy you out of the house but fight her for 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:46 AM
1

You have a chance to walk now with minimal pain. The second you have a child and enter the family court system they will ensure you know true pain and you will be enslaved to her for 18 years. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for ignoring all the red flags, don’t be me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 02:55 PM
3

To get 50/50. Insane. If that was you you would be in jail and lose your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:43 PM
2

Worded it as a shot to the person who was attacking you for going to work. I agree.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 01:11 PM
1

working is “wants and desires” and doesn’t factor in how the child is even able to go to the doctor is through work.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 09:31 AM
8

If she has a degree start logging all the times you are asking her to work before you divorce. If you could prove she’s refusing to get a job you won’t get destroyed in court financially because she isn’t living to her earning potential.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 11:13 AM
8

You don’t. You just do your best to get in and out of family court as fast as possible. Family court doesn’t operate on logic. Your ex wife could literally be a crack addict and she will still get custody over you if she wants it. I did the guardian ad litem and I had about 6 pages of what a horrible parent she was but the guardian still wouldn’t pull them from mom’s house. I wasted thousands on this process to prove I was right but the family court refuse to amend the custody order. Im staying …
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 11:02 AM
1

I don’t think her on tinder or bumble is going to matter literally at all or help your case. Welcome to no fault divorce where you can destroy the marriage but it’s nobody’s fault! But best wishes. Your money would be better spent elsewhere. You could literally be married to the worst mother in the world (I was) and she will likely still be custodial parent. I hope your case is different but I wouldn’t count on it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 01:57 AM
6

“She doesn’t want me to live there but she wants me to do everything I would normally do.” Listen to yourself. She’s done. The second women do this they’ve already been out the door and been planning for a year. I suggest you borrow money to get a lawyer because it’s already done. There won’t be reconciliation, she doesn’t want you but she still think she’s entitled to the husband. Go grey rock focus on kids and find money for a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 07:49 AM
4

Because when it’s this situation you are just financially destroying yourself for the same outcome of losing. Family courts don’t care about the well being of children.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 08:47 AM
-1

Don’t worry I have 50 percent custody and still have to pay child support. Basically if you are a man you can bank on giving her a free ride until 18.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:07 AM
0

Well a divorce really isn’t what you want, it’s what you are entitled to. Welcome to no fault divorce! I’m sure there’s a lot of men on this thread that don’t want to pay their ex wives alimony or child support either. Women cheat and get half a man’s net worth and monthly funding. Funny people whine about it when a guy does it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:29 AM
2

He would lose half his shit if SHE cheated. Thats how no fault divorce works for men with SAHMs
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:24 AM
1

Why did you leave? It’s your house and while you made a mistake in almost every state it’s no fault divorce so none of this matters. Stop rolling over and make her get a court order to throw you out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:21 AM
2

You won’t have to refuse, the courts will shove it in there that you will be forced to buy her out and refinance or sell the property and split it. They don’t care who paid for it what, if you were married it’s considered maritial property. The only way to keep the house without paying her is you’d have to divide out maritial property, I had to give her a bunch of concessions and other things to keep the house.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 08:31 AM
29

There’s no such thing as karma, stop worrying about what she does and you will be much happier. Nobody is truly as happy as they lead on it’s all a facade for social media or whoever is listening. She’s probably lying to get a rise out of you. It worked The only one who can fix your situation is you. Fantasizing of her life falling apart isn’t going to help you. Man up. She may be better off without you, the best part is you can make it so you are better off without her. The best revenge you can…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 11:39 AM
9

There are no trophies in life for going through as a martyr. You get this ride once. Best to not waste it on someone who clearly resents you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 02:50 PM
17

She is probably not as happy as she plays it off to be to you. I wouldn’t worry about her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 04:09 PM
1

You can put whatever you want into a document but the difficulty is actually enforcing it. Rarely are family courts proactive they are reactive. Staying out of the system and acceptance of things you cannot change. If he’s blasting it all over Facebook I find it hard to believe his ex is oblivious to his behavior. You can amicably co parent without sharing the same social circle. Lawyers are mosquitoes in suits.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 04:00 PM
13

The courts won’t do anything but take his money for him to say sorry and not mean it. It isn’t worth wasting a retainer fee on this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:18 AM
1

Imagine losing half your net work but finally gaining a life. You can cut her out and live life for you your way. The best part of my divorce was not having to listen to my ex wife complain more than the kids whenever I planned anything and ruin the day. Most states require maritial property to be split evenly. If she can’t buy you out of the house with your share of the equity the court will force you to sell. My ex tried the same game.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 01:27 PM
1

I love all the things you list about yourself that she has made you believe you do. Women only divorce when they are done.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 06:13 PM
1

I’ve never understood the sacrifice for your children crowd. Yes be there, but destroying yourself and your finances doesn’t help them either.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 05:53 PM
12

Women will always be women. This is why they should be thrown to the front lines to fight for their homeland too. I wouldn’t even want to protect these women if I lived in the Ukraine. At this point let it all collapse.
/r/AntiFeminists10/09/23 11:03 PM
34

Women of all ages will fuck you if you look good. Especially if you don’t commit they will keep fucking you to try to get you to marry or commit. Get into a gym and get fit. Men hold the power to commitment, and it’s a lot of power. It’s game. The second you commit you lose the power and they lose the incentive to treat you right. Face it; no fault divorce has made it a financial lottery for breaking a contract. Keep dangling commitment in front of them and they will do whatever you want. The se…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:34 AM
1

Women. The only parasite that will continue to feed on a dead host
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 08:07 PM
1

No man benefits from marriage. Get out of this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 08:06 PM
1

It’s hard in his position because it isn’t even fatherhood. Every other weekend you make little to no impact on them and essentially your are financially enslaved with no parental rights. You’ve already lost.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 11:22 AM
1

“I forgave her and showed her love and support “ Good god dude, no wonder she did it again. There weren’t any consequences the first time! Grow some balls and go Grey rock and fight for what you are entitled too. Stop being a doormat
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:27 AM
6

I second leaving the country. I am in Israel now and the women are all 15 on a 10 scale and there’s no overweight single moms. I’ve been on more dates and they all have been amazing than in the last 10 years in the states. Each date and relationship I’ve had they’ve been completely respectful of me as a man and welcome masculinity into the relationship. I would rather walk away then be a slave.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:24 AM
1

Why are you complaining then and it doesn’t sound like a “nasty divorce?” Go ahead and pretend yours is different. Can’t wait to see how blindsided reality strikes with you. Didn’t realize you were such a simp you defend your ex wife who had two affairs on you. Your the one who says “she wants my salary my house and my truck!”
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 05:42 PM
1

I also have 50 50 and it doesn’t matter about 50 50. It’s all a financial formula the state isn’t allowed to deviate from. The higher the wage gap is between you the more money you will have to pay. So if you are close to equal in earnings then you might pay minimal. Don’t be surprised once the divorce starts she starts barely working when it comes to discovery time. Mine took a bar job from teaching to be cash under the table. In order to offset that number I had to pay for daycare, carry their…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:13 PM
2

She only is speaking to you because she wants something from you, whether you know it or not. Grow a backbone. Stop “talking to her for hours”. A divorce was a nuclear bomb to your marriage, there’s no coming back from that. It is irradiated and uninhabitable. Stop being a doormat man. Not trying to criticize but get away from her and start doing things that make YOU happy
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 01:27 PM
1

Right, you are paying child support and seeing your kids only half the time if you are lucky, and she allows it. You are being financially punished for a marriage you didn’t want to end and she is able to walk away likely with custody of your kids by default and a new life subsidized by you. She can use that money as claimed income, you can’t write it off as a deduction even though you never see that money. I feel for you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 01:25 PM
1

Unfortunately for you as a man, if you are the higher earner any of her behavior of affairs etc won’t even be factored in. Thanks no fault divorce! Welcome to the agony of divorce and being cheated on, where your partner gets financially rewarded for breaking a contract and you become an 18 year slave.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:04 PM
3

You can write whatever you want on a decree but you have little chance of actually enforcing it unless you want to continue to sink your money into the black hole known as the family court. Even if it gets before a judge they’ll likely do nothing anyways. My suggestion is to just drop it and focus on finalizing your divorce and rebuilding your life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 08:21 AM
1

50/50 is hard man. Especially when you co parent with a bad ex. My ex essentially lives in a disgusting zoo that she never cleans and she has no rules for food or bedtimes, and then they shift their entire routine at my house where I ask for a clean home nutrition and rules. 50/50 is great for the parents but it is a very large emotional shift for children. For the record I currently have 50/50 but each week is a struggle and my ex couldn’t care less to try harder because she knows in that 50 pe…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:03 PM
1

She can say whatever she wants, just lawyer up and none of that crap is gonna stick.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:27 PM
1

She can think whatever she wants. It doesn’t mean it’s who you are. If you made positive changes and feel better about yourself, then do something for you. Find new hobbies
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 09:49 PM
1

I’m sorry for being blunt but that version of yourself drinking and being depressed and fighting, I’m sure you don’t want that forever. Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 09:21 PM
3

Just reading the first paragraph of your post for both your sakes get a divorce. Don’t think about her with anyone else, start figuring out who you are and what you want in life. There are billions of women out there, she isn’t that special.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:48 PM
5

You gotta move on. She can date and sleep with whoever she wants now, and there isn’t anything you can do about it. The good news? You can too. Stop focusing on her and what she’s doing and build yourself up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:44 PM
2

Social media girl, addicted to gossip, lots of debt but not a high paying job. My biggest advice is marry someone who makes equal to what you do, because if it all goes south and you make way more than her the family court system will ensure you permanently suffer. If her best friends are sluts watch out because you are one girls night out away from being cheated on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:57 PM
1

For me it was doing things for myself she would always bitch about. Small steps. Order food without asking her what she wants and being picky and stupid and going to the place you secretly hate. Get that pizza with the topping she hates. Go to the movie she would always complain about. Start doing your hobbies you never had time for because she hated you having fun without her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:20 PM
8

Good advice. She started racking up debt on mine
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:42 PM
1

You walking away from that job and setting them up for no health insurance, support or benefits and two houses in poverty to me is selfish. You made a choice to ensure you don’t waste your life being a slave to family court. You will be able to have a great relationship on your terms and soon you won’t even have to deal with your ex. Proud of you dude 👊
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:59 PM
1

It really sucks being the sacrifice and to be duped by someone who you committed to that ruined your chance at becoming the father with a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:54 PM
1

I get your point. The problem with my situation was my ex was knowingly planning her exit, and decided to quit a 90k job and convince me it was to be around the kids more, and she got a bartending job instead and now on paper she is barely clearing for 20k, and then filed for divorce which meant I was on the hook to make up the difference, and it was too late for me to do the same. I was given 50/50, but she decided to up and move an hour and a half away from our metro area, to the middle of now…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 12:45 PM
1

For sure. I’m just saying sometimes due to court decisions it’s not always possible to “make it work” financially. Truthfully, I don’t really have faith in family court system to reduce a support amount anyways or even care about a fathers struggles. Fortunately I was able to adjust my job internally to a different location. Requires me to travel a lot on the 50/50 time I do not have them, but I get to be home the weeks I do have them for school pick up drop off.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 12:20 PM
1

You don’t know his situation. How can you meet child support medical and other expenses and take a 30k to 40k paycut sometimes? I have 50/50, and because I made 150k and she made 20k, I still owe her child support, and I have to pay for daycare, carry their insurance etc. it can be very difficult to be responsible for all that and then walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 11:51 AM
1

This. It’s easy to say “just deal with the paycut it’s just money” but when you are set to a child support standard it makes it very difficult to survive otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 11:49 AM
1

My first vacation without her With them. Finally I didn’t have that big fat fun suck to deal with whining and complaining the entire time and we could do whatever we wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 11:39 AM
1

Give it up dude and move on. Your marriage is over, there isn’t anything you can do to control it. I wouldn’t want my ex trying to control this much of my life. Your kids are teenagers and are capable of informing you if they have a situation. Live your own life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 10:27 AM
2

Ex did this all the time. Called out for any reason cuz she knew my income would be there.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:09 AM
6

Stop using dating sites. They are designed as a man to make you feel horrible about yourself. My suggestion is get back into the gym or if the gym isn’t your thing get exercise somehow. This will make you feel more confident in yourself. Online dating is a tool not the way, I used it as a backup as most of it is garbage anyways. Take some classes. You like writing? Take a writing class. You’d meet someone who shares a similar interest right off the bat. From your post it sounds like you aren’t c…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 01:18 PM
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