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FreshStarter0 Archive

View 4 posts and 133 comments by FreshStarter0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

LMAO I had something similar happen to me last weekend. Had a guy hitting on me quite intensively and acting interested, then proceeded to call me by a different, but similar name to mine after I corrected him FIVE TIMES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:54 PM
60

She's a wonderfully written character and Gillian Anderson brought her to life brilliantly. Every male friend of mine that has seen the show has loved her character too. I think it's because most of my male friends are HVM :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:18 PM
26

Yes she's one of my favorite female characters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:43 PM
2

I understand this; I do check them out occasionally. If I didn't I obviously wouldn't have made this post. All I'm saying is that engaging is a waste of time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:26 PM
12

Precisely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:56 PM
12

I absolutely agree. I have to say I do occasionally click to see crossposts, but it's mostly for entertainment purposes/assessing levels of scrotery. That's where I noticed some heavily downvoted comments from... you guessed it! FDS users. Overall I think it's hilarious that there are people that are so petty that literally spend hours of their life shitting on FDS on several dedicated subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:55 PM
2

LMAO there is a crosspost describing the scrote as a "potential HVM". Hey scrotes, if this man had the slightest potential of being even a... moderate value man, the very worst he would do is gracefully respond "good luck" to the OP if he didn't think traveling to her city was worth it and move on with his life. Instead, he threw a fucking tantrum over text as if she owes him shit. They can't even hide their misogyny for a second. If anything, this is more evidence that FDS works. She didn't was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 10:13 PM
7

I absolutely respect your choice. I actually have mixed feelings about frequenting here, in that I love the purpose and content, but it's still on this sick bubble of the internet that is reddit. Keep being a queen and au revoir :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:22 PM
6

I totally agree with this. I'm a daughter of a NVM and dated a NVM who had a daughter from a previous marriage whom he didn't see. He claimed that he was blackmailed by his "mean" mother-in-law that if he tried to ask for visitation rights during the divorce, she would bring the evidence of his old suicide attempts and mental health records to court, which would then make them public records, hence he accepted to be cut out of the child's life. I actually fucking bought it. Now after looking at …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:58 PM
8

I couldn't agree more. Personally, I come from deep poverty and I'm very touchy about my finances so I would never fully combine because I want to know where my money goes. I really don't get how one would decide to combine or marry and get a house together without showing each other's credit report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:50 PM
20

I think overall by his tone he was trying to be "relatable" to dudes (scrotes included).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:33 PM
19

there is a difference between wanting sex with a loving and affectionate partner and needing sex because of sexual malnutrition There, you hit the nail in the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:35 PM
19

YES!!! Never had a vaginal orgasm, but the closest I've gotten is by my NVXs 7 inch dick when we did really deep penetration positions, like missionary with my legs on his shoulders. My eyes were rolling back on every thrust. If he actually had any skill and wasn't an abusive piece of shit that I had lost my trust with, it probably would have happened. I had read about the A spot a while ago and told him that this could actually make me cum but he dismissed it. Meanwhile, he made me bleed more t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:29 PM
25

My former roommate sent me my screenshots of my NVX's profile on Hinge I believe. Bunch of lies and nice/smart guy bullshit, same as what made me swipe right back in the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:49 PM
31

PhD physicist here, also had something relevant on my OkCupid profile for similar reasons as you. Apart from what happened in your case, LVM/NVM come with different preferences and a (pseudo)intellectuality doesn't imply a HVM. My NVX was also a PhD physicist and chatted me up on the topic. I honestly think he liked that I was in physics. Well, he was still a scumbag. He was unemployed by choice, lied about it for 2 months and was a total mess when it came to his physical and mental health. He a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:34 PM
178

BuT FDS iS ThE MosT tOxiC sUb On rEdDiT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:58 PM
16

And honestly, that purging the gene pool comment did sound extreme, I kind of suspect a man wrote it to make us look bad. Agreed, it was not just extreme but offensive, tone deaf and simply inaccurate. It's not genes that make men LV, it's their upbringing and the patriarchy. Now on the twitter critique of the genetic counseling as eugenics, I say LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:49 PM
26

"I often get walked on in relationships" = GLARING RED FLAG. My ex kept playing victim at the beginning and after we broke up (even on his dating profile). He used his trauma and mental health against me and made me tolerate almost every type of abuse in the book. He was also a coercer just like this dude. Hell this scrote might actually be my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:06 AM
14

So true. My NVX did this once and she ran kind of aggressively towards a woman with two other dogs who yelled at him "leash your dog". He called the woman a bitch, called the dog back and refused to leash her. I was so fucking embarrassed. We didn't last long after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:54 PM
30

Oh my brother! Just had a fight with him earlier today over an important family matter; would interrupt me and then say "I don't let him talk" 🤡 and that's just one of the outrageous things he said during the fight. I ended up hanging up after saying that he can call me back when he learns to converse like a normal human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:22 PM
2

Yeah I'm with you lol. It's just that HPV it is not proof of cheating on its own. Clearly Mama had proof of the scrote being a scrote :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:21 PM
3

I'm really sorry that you went through this. I hope you are both HPV free and scrote free. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:18 PM
3

Sadly it is for life. However, the HPV infection clearing means that your cells are back to normal, the virus isn't active and therefore you are "far" from cancer. If a cellular change from HPV becomes cancerous, it takes a long time, usually about 10 years. So if you keep up with the regular cancer screening you'll almost always catch it before it becomes a problem (i.e. while the cellular changes are precancerous).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:49 PM
3

The infection clears, which means you no longer have cellular changes that can lead to cancer. The virus does lie dormant and might reinfect the cells. It has happened to me: it cleared and then I had a high risk HPV infection all while I was abstinent. That's why it's important to test in accordance with the guidelines, regardless on whether you are currently sexually active or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:38 PM
2

99% of cervical cancer cases are due to HPV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:32 PM
6

Not saying that this is necessarily the situation, but you could have gotten it from him and still have been monogamous. He could have it before meeting you. Edit: lol am I being downvoted for sharing a science-based opinion? There's no FDA approved test for HPV in men last I checked and HPV infections are almost always asymptomatic in men, with the exception of the strains that cause genital warts. They can have an infection from a previous partner and pass it on to the next without anyone invo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:30 PM
2

Please thoroughly inform yourselves about HPV. I have read a lot of uninformed comments here. It is your duty as a HVW to take care of your health and cervical cancer screening is an important part of that. Go read the guidelines for cervical cancer screening by the responsible organization in your country as a starting point and learn more about what causes cervival cancer, how HPV infections work etc. Even if you haven't had sex with anyone since your last pap, I'm not talking about "not anyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:24 PM
5

This. This experience kickstarted a 5 year long celibacy for similar reasons as you. I did have another LV partner since, but at least it wasn't casual sex. Re: insurance, it was similar for me in that my private insurance partly covered the expense, but I still had to pay a lot out of pocket just for the biopsies because I wasn't informed by the obgyn and the provider they used was out-of-network. The US healthcare system is a hot mess and I didn't know it yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:49 AM
5

I feel you. An abnormal pap with a referral to a colposcopy a few years ago after having slept with only two guys was my first traumatic experience of the US healthcare/insurance system and I paid a lot of money out of pocket as the obgyn sent my specimen to an out of network pathologist. The following year, everything was normal, yet three years after it came back (and I was celibate at the time). My second colposcopy was a bit of a nightmare. Thankfully the biopsies never detected precancerous…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:17 AM
12

You are not 9/200 safe, it's more complicated than that. Most HPV strains don't cause issues, others are associated with cancer more than others. You are protected against the ones that cause most cases of cancer (strains 16 and 18 I think and a few more) and genital warts (6 and 11). You are more than 90% protected against genital warts and over 70% against cervical cancer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:00 AM
52

Anna Gunn, the actress who played Skyler on Breaking Bad also received a ton of hate just because Skyler was challenging her husband's shitty choices. Not saying her character was perfect, but she was really smart, complex and a way better person than Walter and she was not meant by the writers to be hated on. The actress wrote a NYT Op-Ed calling out the sexism as well. For me, people hating on Skyler is like a litmus test: when Walter claims "I dID It FoR MUh fAMiLy" I always cringed. I really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:44 PM
17

As a feminist, who also happens to: have had to immigrate twice with my gender playing an important role necessitating my immigration, have grown up in deep poverty have lost a library job offer in university to a dude because they thought I wasn't strong enough to carry books to their proper shelves (like WTF) and that's only one example of low-stakes jobs that I was perfectly qualified for and I was rejected to men when I was very young, be a PhD physicist who has faced both subtle and not so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 09:50 PM
65

Entitlement through their socialization. They believe that everything we do is about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:34 AM
44

It reminds me of a talk by Gail Dines almost word by word, so it must be by her. It could be the transcript or a writing. Edit: found this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:16 AM
7

This gave me flashbacks to my very seriously mentally ill and abusive NVX. This scrote seems to have a similarly distorted idea of relationships. My ex kept saying that he loves being with me because I was "his equal", while he wanted me to be submissive. Fun fact: he considered himself to be dominant, yet he threw a tantrum once because he wanted me to chaperone him to his own fucking apartment because he was dreading seeing his housemate alone and I couldn't meet him the time he wanted me ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:44 PM
3

I was the person who nursed my NVM during a series of health crises after I had broken up with him, which just gave him more opportunities to emotionally abuse me. That was also at a time when I had lost my job and I think that prioritizing him cost me my immigration status. Even after what I did for him, he still held grudges and made my life more difficult. He even emotionally abused me while I had a panic attack because of my anxiety while I was running out of allowed unemployment days, which…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:32 PM
23

Oh you should take responsibility for your own pleasure by not allowing yourself to feel like a sex doll. You should dump his ass and be available to potentially find someone who would give a shit about making you cum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:36 PM
22

Precisely lol. I'm turning 36 very soon and I have no visible "signs of aging" and several of my friends are like that (and I'm white). I have changed a bit as in losing some baby fat, but my face actually looks better without it now than it did in my 20s. Aging obviously depends on a lot of factors, including genes, having children, other aspects of our lifestyle but most women aged 35+ look nothing like what many people believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:23 PM
17

Sounds like my NVM-ex. Did the very same thing: weaponized his childhood trauma and mental illness, coerced me into sex even after we broke up, threatened with suicide when I tried to leave his house after fights that he would start over minutiae, the list of emotional manipulation deeds goes on...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:19 PM
34

Thank you for writing this. I saw some absolutism in these comments that I didn't agree with, as I believe that people can change (to some degree) if they truly believe there is fault in their ways. I definitely have and I think that's the point of aiming to level up. From my personal experience, however, it's much more common for women than men to be into self improvement, work with a therapist etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:12 PM
5

Ugh what the fuck is wrong with them?! Honestly he got what he deserved. And it sounds like you saved yourself from endless negging. I think that point 1 is the foundation for most women to enjoy sex, hence avoiding the "starfish" situation. Something that I forgot to mention is that I hooked up with that guy in my situationship maybe 5 times. First time I was all over him, as he had faked interest and connection; as his behavior towards me changed, I progressively became less active in bed. I e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:33 PM
53

Excellent points and very well articulated. I had a situationship many years ago where although I couldn't orgasm because the emotional connection wasn't there (point 1), I still remember the guy as being the best in bed of any men I had sex with and the reasons are what you describe in points 2, 3, 4 and 5. I described it to friends as "I just love what how he touches me", but you describe it way better. Out of bed he treated me like shit; he faked genuine interest until I slept with him and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:08 PM
121

Honestly that perception was one my least favorite aspects of daily life in the US when I lived there. The culture of car dependency is just annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:37 PM
6

My ex had a "crazy ex" who was "using him for drugs", because he had prescription meds that people also use as recreational drugs, due to him being a physical and mental health mess (medical marijuana, ketamine, opioids, benzos). While we dated, he would put pressure on me to do some of his drugs with him recreationally, even though I was clear that I don't want to partake and I don't enjoy drugs, nor did I consider this to be a romantic activity like he did. Then he'd get mad for not letting hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:05 PM
12

I am a woman with almost non-existent inner labia and honestly I do kind of wish they were bigger. I feel that I'm missing a sexual part, like something that could offer me more pleasure/increased sensation. Don't get it wrong, I love my vulva but I wonder what having longer labia would feel like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:38 PM
10

yes, society, i do want kids, but not if the cost is losing myself Precisely! I would consider kids if I could have an actually equal partner and these are extremely hard to come by. You are still very young. Plenty of time to plan for adoption or even a sperm donor/solo pregnancy while you get your finances where they need to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:26 PM
32

Yes she's lovely! Lyrics are fire too. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:15 PM
40

I agree with you (fence-sitter here, leaning towards being childfree) and I do agree that people should live their lives however they want. However, the issue here is the cultural misogyny and the fact that women being blamed/called selfish for not wanting kids, while the men are conveniently left out as part of the equation; hardly anyone ever discusses the repercussions of THEIR lifestyles on birth rates (it was also why I posted that article from Guardian the other day about women receiving t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:00 PM
15

Precisely. And then when their partner is grossed out and gradually loses sexual interest, it's never their fault 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:15 PM
23

He was testing the waters to see how far he can go. That's how it starts, then if you're a pickmeisha you will let him get away with it, then the depravity unfolds. You had the best reaction possible and good for you for getting rid of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:04 PM
58

This is so fucking true. If you can't bother to take 10 steps to the bathroom to release gas even though you know I'm not cool with it, it's because you have absolutely no respect for me and you know there are going to be no repercussions. My NVX did that and he was like that about other things as well. He revealed more dark shit to me than he ever did to his therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:53 AM
17

My ex was in the high overweight BMI range when I met him and was formerly morbidly obese, so he had a lot of saggy skin. First time I saw his penis, I was very disappointed. It was quite literally engulfed in fat and loose skin. He was also nervous and didn't get fully erect. I thought it was 4ish inches at best, expected 5" tops when fully erect. Imagine my shock next time we got busy and I got it in my hand from the base and realized it was actually 7ish inches. Of course I couldn't "enjoy" m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:52 PM
8

Same here, I think I'll start doing that, i.e. giving a fake name. I know that one can find me by googling just my first name and 1-2 more identifiers. I've had some weird experiences with dudes that made me suspect them of online stalking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:58 PM
6

This is excellent. I need to make a positive affirmation out of this and start writing it down every morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:26 AM
4

Yeah I see your point about "codependency", I also had a bit of "savior" syndrome in the past with a particular person. While I should have set firmer boundaries and shown more self-respect in that situation, I am the victim of abuse and I am traumatized, I'm not an addict. But on top of this she really seems to have been an intense case of repeatedly craving attention and validation from men, which reminds me of HPD but I could be wrong. I understand why you don't feel comfortable; I've been th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:49 AM
11

I am glad to read this. I really hope it's an honest apology. She sounds like she has a lot of work to do. TBH the behavior she describes aligns with a couple of personality disorders, mostly histrionic PD. Even if she doesn't have HPD, she definitely has self esteem issues and I hope she gets the help she needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:16 PM
14

It's really telling; when the discourse is of high quality the scrotes get mad because they are out of logical arguments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:43 PM
2

👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:52 AM
16

The pickmeism is insane with this one. The fact that she'd rather go ahead with his obvious manipulation and sign than have him call off the wedding is mind-blowing. 🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:44 AM
3

I'd be like "maybe he's just gay and that's why he hangs out with the girls". Then watch the smugness leave his face in a second.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:32 PM
55

I mean, although I don't use my non-FDS reddit account that much, I do occasionally make very FDS-compatible comments on other subs with that one. Spreading the message. :) Maybe other FDS women do that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:11 PM
5

I'm not saying it should be the responsibility of a woman with 4 kids to provide financially; even what her body has been through should put her in retirement TBH. I'm saying that the harsh reality of financial dependance can put women and their children in precarious situations, so what you are suggesting about being financially dependent on a man but not emotionally is not a thing. You either have the financial freedom to leave any moment if you have to, or you might find yourself in a pickle.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:22 AM
18

My only concern with this is that we never truly know when a man is a HVM. Vetting continues after marriage and this is when some men show their true colors and a divorce can be a mess at that point. Something that hasn't been mentioned is that there are countries that allow for domestic partnerships that are basically formed like cohabitation contracts that are way less painful to end than a divorce. They offer similar protections to a prenup and almost the same legal rights as a marriage. In c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:51 PM
23

Why do you want that many children? Do you think the welfare where you live would be adequate for a family of 5 if you somehow end up divorced to some scrote that won't pay child support? Overall how would you ensure your independence and the welfare of your future children? I'm not (totally) anti-marriage, but I am absolutely against the idea of depending financially on a man. If you have 4 children, say with 2 years age difference each and you are a SAHM until the youngest is 3, you need at le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:21 PM
86

I have limited personal experience with your people, but based on the Indian men I know I can't blame you. I used to be in academia in the US, in physics in particular. I met many Indian men and women. The disparity across Indian women and men is insane, both in looks and personalities. Most of the women I met were kind, gorgeous and overall amazing. The majority of the men were trash, sexist mansplainers and most of them ugly. A bunch of them wouldn't stop harassing other women even when they w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:27 PM
10

The irony of this is that high value people actually take reproduction seriously as they should. Meanwhile, LVM and pick-mes won't think twice about having children. So while we can do our part when it comes to choosing a partner and raising children, I'm afraid it doesn't have very strong implications for the next generations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:23 PM
13

I'll coin the term the Schrödinger's male: a superposition of being both logical and clueless. The wave function collapses to either logical or clueless depending on how the male can win an argument, but unlike its cat counterpart and violating the laws of quantum mechanics, the male wave function returns to its prior state so that the male can win the next argument.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:01 PM
4

This. I would occasionally read posts at some of the main dating subreddits. I really can't do it anymore. I was arguing with someone the other day who would insist that the OP (woman who seemed to be leveling up) said something when she literally said the opposite. The mental gymnastics are insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:44 PM
12

I went to the post and the pickmeisha responses maxed out my monthly allowance of cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:27 PM
19

Happy Mother's Day! :) It sounds like you're on your way to a more relaxed celebration when the children grow up a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:25 PM
73

She addresses these points in the article. The main theme of the article is that if you want women to have more children in general (which I agree is arguable), you need to lessen the burden on them through societal change, instead of putting the blame of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:19 PM
9

Girl, same with my family dog! He's a belgian sheepdog mix and I felt so safe walking him late at night. He even scared the shit out of a couple of cat callers :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:48 PM
86

While the title is a bit click-baity, I believe the article is excellent and very nuanced. Whether the world "needs babies" is definitely arguable, but the points she makes on why women are unfairly blamed for the birth-rate decline are spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:39 PM
6

I hope I'll be in your shoes soon! I adore them but can't have one right now as I'm getting back on my feet after a terrible couple of years and can't afford one yet. I had do go back to my home country in 2020 and got stuck there unemployed for a while. I took over caring for the family dog and the routine and love literally saved me from depression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:19 PM
7

Also the time and effort required to vacuum is totally comparable to that of taking out the trash. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:51 PM
17

What is raw cookie in that context? Edit: hmmm I think I got it lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:43 PM
2

Same, graduated a few years ago with my PhD in physics. At all stages of my education across two countries, my classes were 20-30% women. And don't get me started on the faculty breakdown (I've worked in a physics department with zero women faculty). Chemistry tends to be more balanced across the board, but physics, not so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:58 AM
3

Oh she was aware; he just wouldn't do anything about it and would say he was earning family money anyway; except he was terrible with money management and when the company went bust we were left with nothing. She wouldn't initiate a divorce because it would be very hard in the country and era I grew up in. He died when I was quite young anyway. I absolutely believe no one should depend on their spouse that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:33 AM
23

Take it from a daughter of a NVM, this is absolutely true. I am the youngest in a family of 4 kids. My dad fucked up his business due to negligence and fell into probably depression and who knows what other mental health conditions (he refused to deal with his mental health). When he had his business, my mom informally worked for him and he refused to pay her a salary or give her benefits (this is Europe so this basically means no pension benefits). He abused her financially, physically, sexuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:28 PM
7

Took me some time, but better in 8 months (+6 more of being his free nurse and emotional punch bag post break up until I told him to fuck off) than later!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:36 PM
14

I don't know if skinny matters on that front, but being small in general could definitely play a role. However, I have a friend who's on the tall side (5'8") and is also having a hard time with bigger dicks and it limits her positions greatly. She thinks it could be her retroverted uterus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:23 PM
19

I'd love this, but for the safety of the FDS ladies I say better not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:11 PM
6

Not a direct insult but a NVX would whinge "Why don't you just drop it for once?" when I called him out for his repeatedly shitty behaviors. Why, I don't have brain damage, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:19 PM
163

The mods deleted it, she posted here too but her post and comments aren't mod-approved yet. So glad she made it here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:10 PM
59

I recently had a very natural "level up, better single than with a scrote" chat with a woman I met. I started a new job recently after a long unemployment period related to covid and immigration issues (I moved countries twice in 2020). I'll move to the city my company is based in soon and last week I met my very likeable future roommate. We had a nice chat about our life stories, including ex boyfriends and dating. I told her that I'm no longer actively looking to date and what I plan to do is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:04 AM
89

Absolutely agree. I think in the era of casual sex, with women being manipulated for it, being sex-zoned is extremely common and can be extremely painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:44 PM
6

I have no intention of keeping exact score, yet when the scale is heavily tipped it will come up inevitably. Also in my experience not only do men keep score, but they do so quite selectively. At a time when my NVX was unemployed (by choice), supposedly preparing for a new job and I gave him some financial support, he would make a smoothie or a yogurt granola breakfast before I left for work. In the evening, dinner was cooked usually by both of us and sometimes by me alone and I'd do the dishes.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:29 PM
18

You are absolutely right that popular culture sex talk is all about the male gaze/pleasure/the dick and it is really frustrating. I think it is what porn has groomed us to believe. I wish I were into women sexually! Maybe what I share will be useful to you: I like dicks of men I like, but I don't like the sensation of toys. I think the difference is the texture and more importantly my arousal levels. I still won't come with intercourse alone. My point is that you can keep an open mind. If you ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:32 AM
9

I can partially relate. The difference is that I do love dicks, I'm aroused by dicks of men I'm attracted to and they do feel good, but I've never been able to orgasm from intercourse, or even come close. I can orgasm from my clit quite easily alone but I haven't been able to get there with a dude except for one time with a bullet vibrator. I've only had 3 partners: one of them sucked all around, one of them tried from his perspective but I was not very attracted to him and he also tried to bite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:36 AM
22

I am furious reading this; literally shaking. I looked up the post and although it is deleted, I found how it ends: "Once I recovered enough to be able to talk we had a huge fight and he expressed zero regrets, in his view he did what he needed to do in order to get what he wanted. He thought it was okay that he tricked me into it. We argued for hours and then I gave him the silent treatment over the entire weekend. Yesterday he told me to stop being a bitch about it and we had another big fight…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:06 PM
5

This could have also been flared as Queen Sh*t. :) You are level-up goals!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:51 AM
35

Hahaha I love how he's willing to value a stereotype/myth about women higher than the opinion of you, a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:41 AM
13

Beat me to it! Volcel is my new badge of honor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:12 PM
33

Absolutely, always projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:33 PM
44

I love her answer and this attitude is one of my level-up goals. I particularly admire it because I still have a tendency to overexplain myself to men in cases where there is really no point, such as this one. My "programmed" response would be to call him out in a way that is too specific and essentially explaining what he did wrong, which is problematic because I would essentially give him tools to better manipulate the next woman he asks out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:28 PM
96

True, that's why there's emphasis on her "showing up on time" lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:27 PM
23

Washing Buttholes(I'm Not Gay) What, did you date my ex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:15 PM
1

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:37 PM
47

OK, so some spoilers below: it was a shitty relationship and it was obvious that she was settling because she was lonely and felt that she needed a boyfriend. He had an annoying holier-than-thou attitude. For example, although he was a progressive and very supportive of the civil rights movement, he would dismiss her concerns and struggles about being a career woman in that era. At some point, Peggy wants to buy a flat at the UES and the dude convinces her to buy a fixer-upper building at the We…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:42 AM
52

Congrats! Best of luck with the doctorate; it's grueling but (usually) worth it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:31 PM
8

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:05 PM
84

Context to those who haven't seen Mad Men: this is the 60s and the young woman character just moved in with that dude. She was actually quite disappointed that he asked her to move in together and didn't propose. This is her mom's reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 07:48 PM
11

I love this. It is definitely about power. But why hide it on OLD? It should be a filter; just immediately block the scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 07:46 PM
85

Holy crap. This is the reality of the world we live in. Women being worried for their safety and looking for red flags to spot predators before it's too late, while a dude thinks that succulents or toe rings are red flags (and I personally have neither). Red flags are literally the signs we look for to protect ourselves from dangerous or toxic situations. A dude that lists a ton of women's personal choices/interests that have nothing to do with a partner as "red flags" is literally a walking red…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 07:00 PM
3

Very similar experience here. NVMex, but one of his few redeeming qualities was that his perception of women's bodies was actually... normal? He was fine with body hair, I got head and sex during my period and I actually quite like sex in my period so that was good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 06:45 PM
21

I was literally discussing this 2 days ago with another single girlfriend. We are both 35 and we both tend to be attracted to men our own age, plus or minus 2 or 3 years. Over the last few years, we both find ourselves extending this range towards younger ages but not older, because most 40 year old men look like shit. The societal belief that men peak later or age better than women or become more "charming" as they age is pure BS and one of the most exemplary cases of patriarchal narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:00 PM
6

Oh I can relate to this post so much. The most obvious one in my case was the nutrition. I gained weight during my last relationship with a NVM due to our different styles of eating. I am a person who is hungry a lot, so to maintain a healthy weight I need to follow a traditionally healthy diet: several high volume, high fiber meals a day, lots of vegetables, lean meat etc. He was literally the opposite. He used to be morbidly obese long before I met him but had lost quite a bit of weight when w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:44 PM
13

Because the value that a woman (or any human for that matter) brings to a relationship is determined by their age (in fact it's first on his list). And HVW are pick-mes. Gotta love the mansplaining as always. I won't even get started on the sexual criterion. Edit: corrected HVF to HVW. Sorry FDS, this dude and my fatigue got me temporarily scrotified :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:40 AM
11

He then asks me if he can do a tribute to my photo. I didn't know what that was so I asked and he said it's when a guy takes a video of himself masterbating to a photo.... So he wanted take a video of him masterbating to my photo, that reminds him of a baby?????????? FFS :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:08 PM
23

I also have almost non-existent labia minora and I had a couple of men "compliment" me on them. Some "tight" and "you feel so good" comments. I also have a very thick and inelastic hymen, which basically meant that the first couple of times I had sex my ex who was quite thick I bled a bit and he was actually proud. 🤢 Cue the DeFlOrAtIoN fetish (I was not a virgin of course, he was just thicker that the other men I had sex with). Of course, as the opening naturally teared a bit more after having …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:47 PM
4

Honestly I never thought that I would do anything else than 50-50 until I discovered FDS. I thought that "at least they won't expect sex" as if they don't expect it anyway. 35 BTW so also on the older millenial train.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:26 PM
2

To me, it is about compensation for the crimes of the patriarchy and very simply the pay gap. In a relationship, I expect to value and be valued. This means mutual respect, time and emotional energy invested by both parties. So why do we expect the man to spend more on us when it comes to money? For me, the reason is that both him and I are part of a system from which he has systematically benefitted simply due to an accident of birth, while I get the shorter end of the stick due to being a woma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:20 PM
12

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I had some similar experiences. I had some rough sex fantasies, but knew I wouldn't enjoy pain. When I met my NVM ex, he told me he was into some kink and he started grooming me for it. Although I had clearly CoMmUnIcAteD my boundaries and that I dislike pain, he kept coercing me. Not as bad as yours, but some spanking, bites, pinches, and I hated all of it, anything that crossed the boundary from intense sensation to pain. One time he was spanking me on hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 04:48 PM
8

I think they were deleted by a mod! I responded to her before that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 04:28 PM
7

I honestly have seen many cases of this and I still can't grasp it. One of my childhood friends is 36 and has been married for 11 years. She has 3 sons and is quite happy and proud being a "good mom and wifey", doing virtually all of the cooking and 80% of the housekeeping and parenting, while also working full time. Meanwhile, her husband works a normal job and plays video games like it's his second job. From what I see, his only parental contribution is some playtime with the kids. He is also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:37 PM
2

Best of luck with nursing school! I think it is a great career, especially if you are in the US. For me it's quite different; I did my education all the way to a PhD and I think I'm done with that, but it terms of my self-image, self-esteem, relationships etc I was quite immature until recently. I also made a career change leaving academia kind of recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:07 PM
5

I did that too. I also had a document on my computer of a letter to him that of course I would never send. I would add to that whenever I needed to get things out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:57 PM
85

Same, I'm almost 36 and I now finally feel that I am on the right path with both my self-confidence and my career. I was also a late starter in many things in life, mainly due to a messed-up childhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:26 PM
39

HAHAHA when I read the first part I was like uhm that is definitely a dude, then I read the addendum! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:36 AM
6

So this sounds like a very different scale, putting a man on a spectrum from being fully self-centered and egotistical to being fully self-loathing and clingy, both to a pathological degree. Both of the two extremes take value from women and are thus NVMs. In fact, based on my experience with a dude who claimed to be "too nice" and a "doormat" while in reality just cared about his own needs being met, these evident behavioral profiles can very much be the two sides of the same coin. The new FDS …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:09 AM
2

I definitely agree that HVM/LVM/NVM come at a range. I also like the fact that the range is centered around zero and I like the tongue-in-cheek aspect of using a grade system like they usually do. I think I'll still be more likely to use the old terms unless I refer to a man in a highly detailed fashion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:58 AM
6

You had me almost fall off my chair on overflows. 🤣 Edit: OMG I finally got my flair! Thanks mods ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:32 AM
2

with time you will get more and more clarity on why this is not your fault, rather its your talents and strengths that were being exploited and had gone unchecked because you had belief in the inherent good in others 👏👏👏👏 This is wonderful. Your whole response, but especially this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:52 PM
2

I have had an experience at this level of male depravity - perhaps even worse. My reaction after breaking up was exactly the same: writing down all the terrible experiences to remind myself that I'm not crazy and he's gaslighting me. Look at what you just wrote. His account of events doesn't match reality. After some time, the only thing that you will feel bad about will be the fact that you kept this going for a year. This is on him, not you. Vent to us on FDS as much as you want, vent to frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:34 PM
9

The intuitive part comes with experience, which a lot of them don't have because they never bothered to pick up basic adulting skills until it was too late. I've seen this with a few women friends as well who didn't start cooking until later in life. I've been cooking basic things (like pasta with a decent sauce) since I was 10 and I am 35; of course I have intuition and ideas for improvisation. My brothers are decent cooks because they also cooked since they were young so they can cook intuitiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:02 PM
14

How on earth are the activities described vanilla? Rough hair pulling is literally inflicting pain. Same for choking, it inflicts pain/discomfort. So they clearly fall within the S-M part of BDSM. Spitting is degradation and falls within the dominance category. I really don't understand this comment at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:36 PM
1

I've done some of this too. We are different people now and need to forgive ourselves and move on with more self-respect. A couple of years ago, I was in a textbook codependent relationship. I let him drive my car and even added him to my insurance. He managed to have 2 at-fault minor accidents in one month, one with a rental moving truck and one with my car with no damage to my car, causing a 40% increase in my insurance. He didn't have a regular apartment and he moved from one sublet to the ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:36 PM
5

I am really sorry that this was your personal experience but not everyone has such a painful insertion. I had a completely painless insertion of a Mirena and only minor cramping for a few days after the procedure (similar to minor period cramps). The lighter periods and effectiveness made it more than worth it in the long run. Don't take this wrong, I am not trying to invalidate your experience, I know the insertion is very painful for some women, but please don't talk about it like a universal …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:07 AM
7

If anything, my guilt and resentment are about what I did to myself by tolerating the human leech for so long. I wish I could make my former self come to her senses before I sacrificed so much time and energy that my career suffered to the extent that I jeopardized my immigration status (and eventually had to move continents due to unemployment). I have forgiven myself for the most part, but I can't help but wonder where I would be now if I had made better choices. At least my life is finally ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:00 PM
1

I mean, clearly bisexual women's sexuality exists because of their desire to satisfy men's fantasies: they want to fuck everything that walks, accept men cheating on them, shoot porn etc. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 07:28 PM
130

Seriously though, wtf? Even in casual situationships back in my stupid youth I expected and received cuddling and affection after; the guys seemed to like it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:21 PM
4

I feel you and I hope you left him not too long after that. Your story reminded me of my ex who would snap at me over minutiae and made me too afraid to speak out about anything to not upset him. After some time, I started reacting to his abuse and talking back. He would literally tell me to stop yelling because I raised my voice to match his or because he kept talking over me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:28 PM
8

Came here to write that. I think overall a marriage with a prenup so that both parties secure their assets is a good idea, but I'd never marry without a prenup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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