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Front_Performer_9048 Archive

View 1 post and 29 comments by Front_Performer_9048 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

Front_Performer_9048/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:50 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

My ex was so smug when she told me that we'd have to split and sell the house. It was like she was proud of the fact that I couldn't afford the place on my own. She was also wrong. I kept the house, bought her out, and she now lives in the ghetto. I'm not happy that she lives in the ghetto, but it just goes to show how malicious and delusional women can suddenly become when they think they can "trade up."
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 03:25 PM
2

Focusing on the positives helps. I finally get to decorate how I want. My home is devoid of clutter. And I never feel the need to wear pants.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 06:04 PM
2

I think that's what I was doing during the last year of our marriage. Now I kind of think of it like that idealized version of her died long ago, basically right before the wedding. She changed so much after the wedding. But last time I saw her was when she was getting her stuff out of my house. She still looked the same but I was repulsed by her. That did make me sad, but I had and still have zero desire for her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 09:30 AM
1

What do you mean by "looking backwards"?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 09:06 AM
1

I think I'm going to wait the full year before dating, but come next February, I'll probably give dating a real try. Would it be a foolish waste of time to try to meet a woman just to chat with in the meantime?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:49 PM
2

What app do you use or what would you recommend to someone who has never really been on a normal first date? (Ex and I were practically engaged before we both had a license.)
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:36 PM
1

Unfortunately that does seem to be the case. In our decade long relationship, I don't think she ever admitted to any wrong-doing or mistake. Dating seems to have gotten far more transactional. I don't like the idea of doing online dating and having to send out my "resume" and essentially bribe a woman with a free meal just to meet people. But the idea of just approaching a woman in public seems taboo these days unless you're are a 10 out of 10 guy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:34 PM
1

I do have a bad habit of fantasizing about her trying to come back. Not because I want her back, but there are some things I'd like to say to her. And there's certainly a petty part of me that wants her to realize her mistakes. Ideally she'd then learn from them and become a better person, but I don't think I'd ever take her back. After how she behaved during and leading up to the divorce, I don't think I could ever trust her again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:18 PM
1

I've heard that online dating is a cesspool of overly judgy women looking to take financial advantage of average looking guys. I probably should try it out for myself, but I also live in a small town and don't really want to broadcast my loneliness to the whole town. I worry too much.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:16 PM
2

That's a great way to describe it. Thank you. I hate that other people feel the same way, but it does help to know my experience is totally normal. I guess I just need to remember an emotional upswing will come and to be patient.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:07 PM
1

It sounds like I fit in the middle 40%, which sounds like my best option is to just live life solo and not engage in romance or sex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:29 PM
2

Wow. I was hesitant to bring it up, by my ex also started dating a heavy, manly woman right after we separated. She's been friends with this woman for awhile, but somehow I never had the opportunity to meet her, despite constantly revolving my life around hanging out with my ex's family and friends and doing whatever she wanted. Hindsight, I suspect that is never meeting was intentional. The trouble with dating is that I don't know how to meet the kind of woman I'd be interested in. And the kind…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:26 PM
1

Ironically, my ex earned a bit more than me at the time of the divorce, and I still got screwed for those months. I was stuck paying her bills. My lawyer said I could get alimony, but I just wanted everything to be over as soon as possible. I am thankful for how "easy" my divorce was. I hope you're doing okay after what you went through.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:20 PM
1

Thankfully, we had no kids and the separation of assets was pretty simple aside from a few petty things. I was in a hurry with it because I was stuck paying almost all of her bills (phone, insurance, and whatnot). She was in a hurry with it so she could make a down payment on a house she had apparently been looking at for months before even mentioning divorce and so she could start posting about her new partner.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:58 AM
1

I definitely feel like I've made it through to stage 7, but I'm just stuck there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:55 AM
1

That all makes dating sound hopeless. Is that your intention?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:52 AM
1

I started therapy the week after she walked out. But it's been maybe 3 months since my last session. I stopped going because I thought I was okay enough and the added expense and drive was stressing me out. Maybe I should go back.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 01:22 AM
7

I'm not sure meaningless sex would help me. I certainly have urges from time to time, but those are easily held under control. Even if it was a prostitute, I'd be likely to fall in love with her and have a whole new set of problems.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:58 AM
3

That's what my lawyer said too. I hate that for you. Every day of it was awful. I hope you are doing okay.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:56 AM
4

I have this unhealthy fantasy that mine will pull the same stunt. There are lots of things I would like to sit down and say to her, but they aren't exactly nice.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 07:25 PM
2

I spent a ton looking for mine, and it's really cool, so I kept it. It's just sitting in my office amongst a bunch of other doodads I've collected over the years. My marriage was a huge portion of my life. I don't mind the reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 03:21 AM
2

My ex-wife is the only woman I've ever slept with. I haven't been with anyone since the divorce almost half a year ago. And I can't say that it's fair, because I know I'm in the minority, but I just can't see myself dating a woman that would be down for casual sex. And I don't know how you find women like that that aren't super religious.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 12:15 AM
2

Your story kinda seems to agree with my concern though. You thought you found your "perfect woman" but she also ended up having a major red flag. For right now at least, I'm just not going to be on the lookout. If the perfect woman ever enters my life, I'll probably take notice. I don't think actively searching is worth it, and I don't even think it works. All the good stories you hear from happy old couples are always, "we met by chance." I've never heard a, "we met at a bar after the 8th conse…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 09:39 PM
2

Totally agree with you. My concern there though is that now that I'm taking care of myself and putting myself first for the first time in my life, I don't think I'll ever find a woman that I have any interest in dating. I honestly think my new standards and ever expanding list of "requirements" are way too high. Although, I'm kind of okay with that, even if it does mean I just become a celibate monk.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 09:07 PM
1

I used to be quite the hopeless romantic. But to be honest, I think that's mostly because of the TV shows and movies I grew up with, compounded with very unhappy, divorced and remarried parents. I always thought, "I'll do it right the first time," and, "if your first marriage fails, you shouldn't get to have another." I still kinda believe that second one. There's more to life than romance and sex. And in a lot of cases, romance and sex gets in the way of the other great things. I don't think I …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 07:00 PM
2

Thanks. It's taken time for sure, but maintaining an active routine has been the biggest help. I think I've gotten to the point that I think I could be content and happy on my own, but the thought of having another romantic relationship seems so unappealing now. The people in my life seem to think I shouldn't give up on future prospects like that, but I'm not convinced. I've never wanted to have children, so the risk/reward just seems so heavily skewed toward risk. And it's rare to find a woman …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 06:31 PM
4

A+ response. I often feel more like a widower. My ex-wife was the first person to ever make me happy and make me feel like I mattered. Ten years later, she sprung divorce on me and tried to sell our house without my consent, which would have left me homeless as there were no other affordable houses in my area (I work at a school, so I couldn't easily just move). She, on the other hand, was already moving in with her "friend" the day she announced the wish for divorce. She then made every step of…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 02:40 PM
5

My wife did the same. Even married for the same amount of time. I found out she had been planning to leave me for at least a year before telling me. Your instincts of her poor character are likely correct. After a healthy amount of therapy and working on myself, I discovered that I'm actually much happier and healthier without her. I tailored my whole life around her, trying to be a good husband, but I don't think she ever stopped looking for someone better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 02:29 PM
2

I sometimes feel more like a widower than I expected. It's like the woman I fell in love with died, and there's some stranger out there in the world wearing her face.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 07:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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