TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

GRCA Archive

View 1 posts and 153 comments by GRCA on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
229

DISCUSSIONGRCA/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:39 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

We love good sex, which is independent of wanting multiple, casual partners (which is what I assume is meant by degrading terms like “slutting it up.”) Wanting casual partners is often counterintuitive to wanting orgasms and satisfying sex, given how many women are left unsatisfied by acquaintances who either don’t know what that woman needs to get off and/or don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 01:56 PM
5

My mom has conveyed on a number of occasions how my dad never apologizes or acknowledges when his behavior has been hurtful. It is something I have kept in mind as part of my level-up strategy: I want to become comfortable with making my fiancé uncomfortable if need be. I don’t want to end up in that same sort of dynamic where he never feels he needs to apologize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:32 PM
24

Exactly. To men these days, “privacy” = I can do whatever the fuck I feel like on my devices, and my intimate partner has no right to know of any of it, let alone take issue with it. Conversely then, “surveillance” = my intimate partner has become concerned about my habits because I’m sexually dysfunctional and my excuses aren’t adding up. So many men would take offense at you having cameras on your own property these days because they feel their right to do sneaky shit they don’t want you seein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:20 PM
1

Yeah, it’s not a great a sign when a woman attends a college that isn’t her first choice because it’s closer to her boyfriend’s, or chooses to move (or not move) based on her boyfriend’s new job without a job lined up for herself, and so on. Every time she makes a choice based on the relationship, that’s a sunk cost that makes the relationship feel more like an “investment” to her. But a woman should not treat relationships as investments in that way. She shouldn’t sacrifice and put resources to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:06 PM
14

I like the comment that she’s pushing “toxic masculinity” on him by not wanting an entire room in their small apartment dedicated to his toys. I guess toxic masculinity = expecting a man to do anything outside of his comfort zone. Funny how it’s always men who are ultimately reinforcing actual toxic masculinity, and that still holds true in this case because the guy’s dad was the one to step in and force him to get rid of the toys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:44 PM
4

Taller than me when I’m in heels, but only to an extent: 5’7” - 6’2” Lean: body fat should be low, and muscle tone needs to be enough to not look emaciated. Some form of regular physical activity would be required to maintain such a physique in most cases. No beer gut/pot belly Broad shoulders Slim legs: can be visibly muscled, but I’m not into thick “rugby legs” I like a small, firm butt with glute dimples on the sides Penis around 7” in length, 5.5” in circumference. Glans just slightly wider …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:06 PM
22

Exactly. And a small-breasted woman with a bigger butt would get the reverse neg. Men will always find something wrong and claim it’s “such a shame.” Such a shame that she has those big boobs but no ass to go with it. Such a shame that she looked great from the back with that ass, but when she turned around she’s flat. Such a shame that she’s got big boobs and a great ass, but that face. Such a shame that the boobs are big, but they’re sagging. Such a shame that the ass is full and fit, but it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:30 PM
36

And I love when they extrapolate to make the situation seem so dire : “Well if you’ve noticed she gained about 10 lbs in the past 6 months, that means she is gaining 20 lbs per year, so in 10 years she will have gained 200 lbs! That’s just not healthy. She’s on a path to destruction and you need to get out now!” It’s always about health of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:43 PM
41

And don’t forget all the shaving/waxing. And the endless glute workout routines to somehow defy skin and skeletal structure and achieve a big round ass with no cellulite or hip dips (and don’t tell me that hip dips are an invention of women and that men don’t care about hip dips - I’ve seen enough male complaints about a “square ass” on a beautiful woman to know).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:35 PM
4

I think they can, but it is independent of the fact that they have remained a couple since high school. That is, staying together shouldn’t be considered impressive or some sort of indicator of a strong relationship due solely to time and endurance. It’s very easy to veer into sunk cost fallacy with that thinking. And I say that as someone currently engaged to my high school partner. I think the only way to glean whether a high school relationship is HV, rather than an illusion of value based on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:16 PM
4

Seriously. My fiancé and I started dating in high school, and he took me out to a restaurant pretty much every weekend and always wanted to pay. And no, he wasn’t a trust fund kid or otherwise sitting on a big allowance. He had a bit of summer/weekend job money like I did. Same deal all through college. Sorry but I’m not interested in a grown man who doesn’t have it together enough to afford a restaurant meal every week. I could do it myself easily with my normal educated adult job. It should no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:45 PM
50

Plus I just don’t accept that someone isn’t interested in eating at a restaurant. Who doesn’t like to sit down and eat some good food? Come on ladies. I’m an asocial introvert who loves fast food. So I get it. But I still enjoy a nice restaurant date and would never be more enthused about having a cup of coffee. When I think coffee meetups, I think college admissions interviews. No thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:19 PM
76

This all sounds promising, but I would encourage you to continue advocating for and protecting yourself. Especially if you have only been dating this man for a few months. And especially because it seems you are 18. I am assuming he is 18 as well, because HVM over 18 do not date 18 year old women. You are both young, so while it is good to be marriage-minded, you should be on the lookout for future faking as well. Always be looking out for your best interest. Best of luck to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:53 PM
5

Every fucking time. “Oh he didn’t really want to go but his friends were going so he had to.” 1. If he really didn’t want to go he wouldn’t have. 2. If his friends suck then he sucks by association.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:21 PM
13

Somehow I doubt this is the first time he’s revealed himself to be a selfish miser. Either way, if she didn’t have a “fuck off fund” already, hopefully she’ll get one started now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:37 PM
37

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that they introduced Stormfront as being outspokenly pro-woman before revealing that her name isn’t a coincidence. She is shown so far to be pro-woman, but also a white supremacist who is shown to be prejudicially violent against non-whites. And based on context clues provided so far, she was even one of the original Nazi experiment supers created by Vought. So is the implication here that feminist = Nazi as well? I would love for there to be more nuance t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:16 PM
37

Ah yes, the old “porn isn’t a problem unless it’s a problem.” Ok, and what if it is a problem? What then? That whole thread is pretty useless. All the responses boil down to “it depends” and “people are different.” Very insightful, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:22 PM
56

Yes, and my advice is to put the relationship on the back burner while you continue to pursue your education and career. Do not let the relationship hold you back from other opportunities. If you get a postgrad or job offer in another state, take it. Do not stay somewhere for him. Do not move for him. Prioritize yourself and let him put in the effort to maintain the relationship. If he steps up, great; if he stops pursuing you and lets the relationship fade, then just let him go. Also, do not le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:05 PM
43

And he got turned on at a high school graduation. Her younger sister’s graduation. Is that not real life? If she continues to be permissive about this shit now then it will only get worse. How disgusting does he have to act “IRL” before she’ll leave? Will she stay after she inevitably finds confirmable CP on his devices? Sad. I wish there was a reliable way to reach these women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:53 PM
5

Exactly as I said. Just because you have married a man doesn’t mean he is fully vetted. I would argue there is no such thing as “fully vetted” because it suggests an endpoint to what should be an ongoing process. It is all just risk management. You can decide to move in with a man after marriage and still discover then that he does not intend to do housework to the extent that you expect. Maybe he kept his own place clean whenever you visited, and that seemed like a good enough sign, but once he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 03:31 PM
13

Or putting marriage on a pedestal in the same way. Marrying a man does not magically guarantee that he will satisfy you sexually, be faithful, clean the house, continue to court you and put in effort. Marrying a man does not mean you have fully vetted him and he is all good. Women should never stop vetting. Some men can hide bad habits and character flaws for years and years. Any woman on FDS who is interested in marriage needs to also be willing to divorce. Marriage can often be a trap for wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:48 PM
22

Just chiming in to confirm that yes, they’re jerking off to them. I suspect this weird sort of parasexual relationship is becoming more commonplace along with the rise in pornsickness from unlimited internet porn. Talking to you builds emotional intimacy, which enhances the masturbation fantasy. The photos provide the visual grounding. Even if the photos aren’t nudes. They’ll just look at porn alongside the photos if they need to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:09 PM
12

I will always stand up for a woman vetting to protect herself and enforce her boundaries. I don’t think it is in a woman’s best interest to trust without confirming. There is no trophy or cash prize for “Most trusting partner - 10 years without touching his phone.” But there is potentially a lot to lose by turning a blind eye. I don’t even like calling it snooping. Snooping is going through a friend’s medicine cabinet during a dinner party just for the hell of it. Vetting an intimate partner or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:13 PM
57

Anyone else remember that article about a woman pressuring herself to be woke enough to still be attracted to her boyfriend, who liked to wear ugly dresses for attention? I feel like this could be that dude. A straight cis man with standard male entitlement when it comes to the objectification of women, yet he thinks he’s a feminist and an honorary member of the LGBTQ because he has gay friends and sometimes wears a dress to a party when he’s been drinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:28 PM
12

I get that concern. For me it is not about withholding benefits from my partner but just ensuring that I am benefiting from the relationship first and foremost. And I strongly value access to information and insight for that. I don’t feel I could properly assess the experience of cohabitating without spending an extended length of time in the same space. Men can be so good at hiding their shitty little habits. I’ve known my fiancé for over 20 years; we grew up together, but for me the engagement…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:51 PM
120

He’s worried that porn has fucked up his view on women and sex. So what does he do? Give up sex. Because giving up porn is out of the question, of course. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s abstaining from sex and hope he’s staying far away from women in general. But it’s pathetic how compulsive porn use is in these men; even when they’ve acknowledged it’s a problem they don’t stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:49 PM
10

These men are also likely to be emotional cheaters, porn addicts, and compulsive masturbators. Their relationships with women boil down to facilitating their desire to jerk off to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:22 PM
17

Yeah, I am so tired of the “masturbation is different than sex” excuse as if it actually excuses anything. No shit it’s different. Jerking off to porn is low effort compared to sex. We’re all aware. That’s exactly why it’s insulting when a man repeatedly chooses masturbation over sex with his partner. Because he’s showing that he is low effort, selfish, and lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:19 PM
3

You saw him doing it, and that is forever imprinted on your mind. And he has now shown you that he isn’t going to stop. Your title is correct: he’s just going to get better at hiding it. You’ll never trust him because he is not trustworthy. And for the record I don’t buy that he doesn’t look at porn, given what you’ve described of his known behaviors. He is saying he “only wants you” because he wants the other things you provide. He wants you to hang out with him and provide the stability and so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:17 PM
11

Never stop vetting. Never stop prioritizing yourself. Especially as you become more committed. You can know a man for years and years, but shit can come to light once you start living with him, get engaged/married, etc. So many men will lie, compartmentalize, and hide dealbreaker behavior for as long as they are benefitting from the relationship. Never rely on a man. You should always have a way out of the relationship. Always have money in a fuck off fund. Always have a place to go if you need …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 05:35 PM
11

Some men will certainly tell on themselves by talking about porn or their own porn habits. Some men will instead tip you off with the “doth protest too much” approach. A man who happily volunteers with “I don’t understand the appeal of Onlyfans/ titty streamers on Twitch” etc. They likely understand the appeal just fine and are tying to throw you off, or else are trying to deflect you from their other porn habits by suggesting they at least aren’t into that particular type of porn. A man who, ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:43 PM
14

I think this is a common situation with these bare minimum effort LVM. They think their lives are so stressful and hard that we need to be the “bright spot” for them. So they can’t stand it when we seem unhappy or make even the smallest negative comment about them or the relationship. Then they project by saying we’re expecting too much from them. No dude, it’s you with the unrealistic expectations. You’re the one relying on me to be a source of positivity in your life at all times and acting an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:49 PM
24

I would agree with this, but with the added point that if after those several months the relationship seems to be heading towards marriage, cohabitation, and/or other long-term commitments, you want to also thoroughly vet for signs of “low libido” (pornsickness) that can hide in these earlier stages of the relationship. I know it seems like all men are clamoring for more sex in the early stages of the relationship, but remember that you want to vet for long term sexual compatibility as well. Thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:16 PM
40

Yeah, I don’t see how it’s a compliment just because it mentions “confidence.” He doesn’t say he likes her outfit, just that she must be confident to wear it. Which more likely means he thinks it’s ugly, but thinks it’s ok because she’s hot. Which sounds like a neg to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:03 PM
2

Yeah, it concerns me that OP and her sister are putting all this effort into finding and getting rid of this women while the sister is supposedly “deciding what she’s going to do next.” How about they dedicate some time to deciding that she needs to get rid of the man who betrayed her in such a hurtful way? I don’t care about the other woman or the eviction as long as it’s done legally. But OP is an asshole for promoting pickme culture if she evicts this woman and then ends up having BIL at her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:48 PM
9

It’s the strength of the parasocial relationships with these women posting on onlyfans, Twitch, Snapchat, Reddit etc. The guys can either talk to them or feel like they can talk to them, which makes the fantasy more vivid in their entitled, pornsick minds. If they have actual contact with a woman, the idea that they could fuck her becomes that much more real. I think it’s a very similar mindset to that of men who jerk off to photos of their female friends and acquaintances. In those cases there …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:28 PM
3

Since it was his leg it was presumably hindering his ability to perform and get himself off, so once his orgasm was off the table he might as well just watch a movie instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:22 PM
1

He was too turned off or inconvenienced by her injury to want to continue, or else he would have. So what did she find impressive after that? That he didn’t heave her out the window after he lost his boner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:31 PM
55

Or “My wife has low self-esteem and knows I am going to cheat anyways, so she has agreed to this ‘open marriage’ to convince herself she has some control over the situation.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:18 PM
5

JusT dO SqUaTs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:45 PM
5

I think the guilt is just the fear of being caught projected to thoughts of the consequences of being caught (getting yelled at, being outed as a bad guy, losing the comforts of a long term relationship). They don’t actually care about not being shitty, they just care about hiding their shittiness effectively. The guilt is their feeling of shame and regret that their shittiness is going to come to light and affect them negatively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:45 AM
4

I suspect the only thing that stops guys like this (besides opportunity) is the fear of being caught and the guilt that would manifest as a result of that fear. Jerking off in the bathroom is a lot safer and easier to hide. Meeting up with the other person introduces a bunch of other risks and signs the partner could notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:45 PM
5

TeLl hIM iT MaKeS YOu UnCOmFortBle Sis he knows. Of course he fucking knows that jerking off to photos of a female acquaintance makes you feel bad. Sis he been knew. He doesn’t care. The problem is not his behavior but that you caught him. If he stops it’s only because he doesn’t trust he won’t get caught again. If he thinks he can just hide it better in the future, then he will. I wish women felt more comfortable drawing stronger boundaries on shit like this. Behavior like this never exists in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:21 PM
1

I could agree with that, if that’s all there was to it. But I do get suspicious when she refers to things like “sexual privacy,” knowing her views on infidelity. Maybe it comes down the the gender difference, in that I’m anticipating how these views would be interpreted by men, who I know would use them as justification for porn use, fetishism, and the other common ways men act out sexually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:45 PM
1

Eh, I can’t get behind her views on infidelity. Like how it’s ok for a man to cheat on his sick wife if having a mistress helps him continue to take care of his wife. Just no thanks to any of that. I can see men having a field day with her books. “Anyone can cheat, and men crave novelty, so it’s better if we just commit to an open relationship and ethical non-monogamy now - that way whenever I find someone else that I want to fuck or use to stroke my ego I can go ahead and do that and it’s not c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:26 PM
34

I agree. It’s good to see a follow up to a typical Reddit relationship post of “my partner is doing shitty things and won’t stop but don’t tell me to leave.” It’s good to see someone actually come around and leave!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:26 PM
93

Sometimes they can’t even manage the first line. You just get “How could you say something like that to me?” or “I don’t want to feel bad about doing that.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:21 PM
114

And it’s exhausting how women are expected to be endlessly accepting of and sensitive towards their partner’s ED. We can’t be affected by it. We can’t show disappointment. We’re supposed to be game for any “alternatives” (oral, toys, etc) regardless of our needs and preferences. It’s exhausting, but I would at least be willing to compromise with a man who has ED due to a genuine vascular or hormone issue. Provided he is seeing a doctor and working to address the issue. But I have no tolerance fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:16 PM
58

She was 15 and he was 19 when they met. Their relationship was groomerish and gross from the start. Sadly the sunk cost fallacy of 13 years with him is just going to make it harder for her to leave. But hopefully she’ll have a moment of clarity before she caves to his manipulation again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 01:50 AM
18

“We were just incompatible due to our difference of opinion on the definition of a monogamous relationship.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 01:20 AM
21

If it were up to the cheaters and coomers of Reddit, the right to phone secrecy would become the 28th amendment to the US Constitution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:34 PM
21

My take on this is to cohabitate going into engagement provided that alternative living situations are available. I live with my fiancé in an apartment that I picked out, is closer to my work than his, that I could afford on my own but he couldn’t. Both of our parents live nearby. If we were to break the engagement, he would most likely go to his parents because he has no reason to want the apartment for himself. And if he were to take his sweet time moving out, I could wait him out by staying w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:04 PM
27

This is right on. Betrayal trauma + social brainwashing/gaslighting means women simultaneously feel like shit and feel like they aren’t even allowed to feel like shit. It takes a hell of a lot of conviction and firm pre-existing internal boundaries for a woman to just walk away from situations like this. But most women have some degree of cool girl conditioning that has prevented them from establishing such boundaries and a no-tolerance policy for disrespect from men who act out sexually like th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:47 PM
12

I suspect this is often a symptom of being raised in households with mothers who did everything and fathers who were of course happy with this arrangement. Especially if the mother also worked full time. The son then moves in with his partner and feels he is doing his share as long as he does the same or a little more than his dad did. My own house was like this growing up. I’ve made it a point to talk to my brother about how bullshit it was that my dad did so little, and how my brother will nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:46 PM
9

The more you have filling up your life (friends, family, community, hobbies, career, spirituality, etc.), the smaller the space you need a partner to fill. And the smaller the piece of your life he is, the less of your energy you will feel compelled to dedicate to him. And even then I would think not just in terms of what percentage of your energy is going to him but also in terms of matching the energy he gives to you. You do not want to settle into a pattern of always putting in more effort th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:03 PM
1

Likewise. There’s no need to dismiss another woman’s boundary because it is not one you would hold yourself or your partner to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:26 PM
4

The point is not to make your partner promise not to do something. The point is to have a boundary for yourself and committing to walking away for self preservation if you find it has been crossed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:19 PM
5

Yes, attraction to other people is unavoidable. Fleeting thoughts are undetectable to all but mind readers. But acting on lust for others to the point that a partner can catch on and recognize it, like OP apparently did in her previous relationship, is the result of ongoing choices that have usually developed into habit or compulsion and negatively affected the relationship by the time the partner notices. Even if you haven’t experienced this, many women have, and in my opinion they waste a lot …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:43 PM
3

It’s one of those things that isn’t a problem until something happens that makes it a problem. A woman can go years not thinking about her partner’s habits until he does start doing something shitty enough that she notices. Then the waffling starts if she didn’t have a strong internal boundary going into the situation. If “feeling like I need to police” is a recognizable boundary that you can hold yourself to, then that would function the same way. The idea is just to not be permissive so that i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:15 PM
2

With men though, if you give an inch they will take a mile. Or at least several hundred more feet than you would prefer. “Masturbating to other people” can easily be masturbating to your sister’s Facebook photos. Or getting caught up in masturbating to a coworker to the point that he starts trying to deepen his emotional connection to her to make the fantasy more “real.” Maybe you’re fine with those things too, but I imagine there is a boundary at some point for you, and I don’t doubt a man’s ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:55 PM
10

Exactly my thought. It doesn’t sound to me like he wears dresses because it reflects his gender identity, or even because he has a genuine appreciation for the aesthetics of feminine clothing. It sounds like he wears ugly dresses for attention at parties because he thinks it’s outlandish and “fun.” As you say, it feels like treating feminine clothing, and by extension femininity, as a joke. “Look at that man in the skintight sparkly green dress haha! How kooky!” Isn’t condescension and derision …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:19 PM
24

I agree with you in regards to his behavior, which is worse than general porn sick neglect of a long term partner after the novelty wears off. It takes a particular NVM to marry a woman because she’s the only one who will take care of him. My comment about porn sickness is more related to why he isn’t attracted to his wife. According to him there is nothing that would make her more attractive to him. That is what sounds like porn sickness to me: the idea that it doesn’t matter what the woman doe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:54 PM
64

Ah yes, the questioning of why he isn’t attracted to his wife. The usual “maybe you’re depressed.” How much do we want to bet it is the male DB standard: PORN SICK. He misses sex from his previous relationship because those memories are also just a fantasy now. He can’t and doesn’t feel the need to be aroused by and have sex with his wife because porn and fantasy arouse him and satisfy whatever libido he has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:40 PM
92

So she forced herself to go through all this introspection in order to change her feelings and priorities. Meanwhile it sounds like her boyfriend just likes wearing dresses because he thinks it’s funny. So as usual the woman is doing all the emotional labor to accommodate a man. I wonder if she would have felt less pressured to accommodate him if his attention-seeking behavior didn’t intersect with the hot button topic of gender expression i.e. if he instead liked wearing t-shirts with vulgar ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:11 AM
4

It’s not clear how far into the birthing process OP was when the surgery was required, but presumably the birth was not at or near completion if surgery on OP’s body prevented survival. A stillbirth is defined as a fetal death. Honestly, call it a baby/fetus/child, whatever, but my point still stands, and I support OP’s decision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 07:25 PM
66

Terrifying that there are people out there that think without a doubt that a woman should die for a fetus in her uterus. A woman’s life is more important than a fetus. She has an existing connection to our world - friends, family, ties to her community, a career, a place amongst us. A fetus has that potential, sure, but so does any other fetus. They are effectively interchangeable. The fact that this is a controversial take is one of the myriad reasons I will never have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:21 PM
361

“We’re into femdom, so on top of indulging his sexual fetishes I also do a bunch of extra shit for him and he does not reciprocate.” These kinkmeishas keep coming up with new ways to frame their kowtowing to men as faux-empowerment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:56 PM
15

I am amenable to the idea of getting a man a nice watch as an engagement gift. My fiancé doesn’t wear watches though, so I didn’t consider getting him anything. Giving hobby items as engagement gifts cheapen the sentiment in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:45 AM
122

They also can’t handle criticism and being held accountable for their actions. They know it’s not their fault that Will Smith is sad, so they are willing to acknowledge his sadness. Acknowledging their partner’s sadness would mean acknowledging their role in it, and they refuse to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:35 AM
85

I hate that women are expected to be District Attorneys when following up on their partners’ likely infidelity. Not only do they need evidence, but they need to follow proper legal protocol for collecting said evidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:31 AM
22

I agree in that a fleeting acknowledgement of an attractive person is imperceptible to all except mind readers. But if you actually get caught having sexual or romantic feelings for someone else, it means you have encouraged and acted on those feelings in some way and have crossed the line into emotional cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:19 PM
246

What’s even worse is that an immediate act of contrition should be to quit that spin class and never so much as see or think of that instructor again. But he won’t. He’s going to keep interacting with her and jerking off to her and rolling his eyes when his wife won’t just “get over it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 01:34 PM
12

So true; just the leaps in accessibility from magazines + VHS, to the advent of internet porn on the home computer, to today’s smartphones have been massive. Free photos, gifs, and videos available for free in nearly endless supply and delivered to the palm of your hand while you hide from your wife in the bathroom. Anyone who claims that today’s porn isn’t a problem because “porn has always existed” is willfully deluded. It worries me greatly to think that porn addiction, “low libido,” and PIED…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:00 PM
76

Most of the “low libido” men described on that sub are habitual porn users and compulsive masturbators. But of course porn is not a problem until the guy admits that it is. So discouraging and insulting. I wish more women would openly leave relationships where their partners are neglecting them sexually while still looking at porn. I hate that so many women don’t feel that this behavior is shitty enough to justify leaving, even though it can be as devastating to their mental health as the “big” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:11 PM
58

Men feel so entitled to their shitty coping mechanisms. Video games, porn, drugs. They need them because they’re stressed or depressed. Never mind actually addressing the issue long term with a career change, lifestyle change, therapy and treatment, etc. Better off just leaving men like this; they don’t care how their habits affect you, and you’ll never convince them that these habits are a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:58 PM
10

I’m not trying to deny your perceptions or observations, really. And I’m speaking to anyone reading this as much as you in particular. I just know of too many women who have been blindsided by their partner’s porn use after assuming it was rare or nonexistent. Men can be so subtle when looking at porn these days. Just sitting on the couch or laying in bed next to their partner subtle. For many women, porn is not a problem... until it is. If and when sexual issues like low libido and ED crop up, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:26 PM
18

Porn has become so ubiquitous and easy to access that men will look at it while their partners are in the other room (or sometimes in the same room even). Does your husband bring his phone into the bathroom? He probably looks at porn on the toilet or before a shower. Does he use Reddit? There’s so much porn to browse even while scrolling through r/all on the couch. Not trying to be accusatory or a downer here. Just being realistic. It’s just something for you to keep in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:38 PM
152

I do understand the knee-jerk desire to post nudes/thirst traps after seeing your partner consuming such content. Both for validation that you are still desirable and to point out the hypocrisy of men who feel entitled to access to other women’s bodies while having sole access to their partner’s body. I get it. But it is sad. It is sad that women are conditioned to care about male desire. It is sad that more women don’t just walk away from this disrespect. It would be healthier in the long run. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:35 AM
33

I do agree that there are plenty of cases of women “just laying there” because they indeed aren’t being pleasured and are just getting it over with. But I also don’t trust men when they call a partner a “dead fish” or “boring” in bed. Because it could very well be that she actually is participating and getting hers, but getting hers doesn’t involve the porn theatrics he expects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:20 AM
85

An alternative, but also damning, interpretation of the “she just laid there” complaint is “she was not performative during sex like the women in porn, so I found her boring.” Speaking personally, when I am enjoying sex, I am mostly quiet, moving subtly, and concentrating on the physical and emotional experience. I am not screaming and moaning and rolling my eyes and bouncing on the dick like a demented frog. That is all performative porn shit. But pornsick men are conditioned to getting off to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:08 AM
44

This is so important to point out. There are many, many men out there, including the so called “nice guys,” who will swear up and down that they have never cheated and would never cheat. But they are talking about physical cheating only. Because so many of these men cheat emotionally with impunity. Their behaviors are common enough that I wrote a post about it, and other women in the comments recognized the same patterns with exes who had been emotionally unfaithful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 02:57 PM
21

I’ve struggled with similar porn-induced body insecurities, though in my case it’s primarily from the male obsession with breasts and the popularity of “busty” women, while being a very small-chested woman myself. Obviously the biggest red flag to avoid is dating a man that uses porn. It sounds like you’re already on top of that. I’ve found it also helps to block porn from my life as much and possible and find ways to “reclaim” spaces that promote porn. For example, I’ve started using the Apollo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 04:56 PM
54

Oops, should have copied it. Basically it said that she broke up with him to take care of her mental health because she can’t trust him. Then something about her reaching out to her sister and intending to pursue therapy. He expressed some vague remorse about his porn use hurting her. He adds that he deleted his spank bank. He plans to “better himself” to be “the man she deserved in the first place.” But he doesn’t specifically mention what he will do to better himself I.e. he doesn’t say he wil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:53 PM
80

https://reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gszae2/update_my_26m_girlfriend_26f_drunkenly_told_me/ Happy news, she broke up with him! I wonder the odds of him actually trying to “better himself” by addressing his porn habit and constant objectification of women, beyond just deleting the current spank bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:23 PM
51

Agreed. Women are conditioned to be pleasant and accommodating, and that can be a tough habit to break. That doesn’t make his behavior ok, and she can still follow up on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:29 PM
79

This is what being a cool girl gets you. These guys think they have all the time in the world and will repeatedly prioritize everything over their girlfriend’s desire to get married. “Eh, she’ll be fine, I’ve got enough on my plate right now, between having a job and needing to remember when my mom’s birthday is. I’m swamped.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:23 PM
117

He posted this? Is this a preemptive attempt to control the optics of the situation, or he is just oblivious to the underlying message here? I.e. “After 11 years she finally gave up on having any standards and expectations for me.” I bet she planned that whole trip to Lake Tahoe too. I hope she realizes that he will never step up for her, ever, and she is at peace with that. God help her if she wants children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:12 PM
129

“I think I’m just stressed.” - Same dude with ED and no responsibilities besides having a desk job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 02:53 PM
18

Having a partner should be a financial benefit, not a worry. I’m financially stable with no debt besides my interest-free car payments. I don’t need someone else’s debt in my life and on my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:59 PM
83

Same reason why I side-eye a man who refuses to wear a wedding ring. If he’s an engineer or craftsman using a milling machine or lathe everyday then fine, take it off for work. But a man with a desk job whining, “Rings are so uncomfortable!” Oh boo hoo dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 10:01 PM
251

He’s got his eye on someone and she is also active on Instagram. Where do I place my bet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:31 PM
6

Yes, everything about your story fits with this type of scenario. Clearly these men are not as clever as they like to think, or as “innocent” as they like to act. Women are perceptive - we see their patterns and notice the deviations. I think your advice is spot on. Good for you for cutting him off when he tried the “need some space” excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:30 AM
40

I’ve noticed that some women who end up married to guys like this seem to take a sort of pride in pointing out that he was with his previous girlfriend for years and never proposed. The implication being that there was something wrong with the other woman that kept him from proposing, but once she came along, well she was “the one,” so of course he knew right away and couldn’t wait to propose to her. I don’t know about that. Regardless of what the other woman was like, if she wanted marriage and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:53 PM
30

This is such an interesting point - the pressure to be “fair” via acceptable “proof” that a man’s behavior is indeed shitty. When it’s already shitty that his behavior is causing anxiety. I’ve become a proponent of not discussing specific “evidence” even when it is known. Too often men just want to suss out what you know and how you know it, so that they can pinpoint what to deny and what to hide better in the future. Better to just state, “You’ve been acting off lately and it’s been negatively …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:22 AM
7

Of course! Thank you for sharing your experience. I do want it to be clear that my message is not “And this is why women and men can’t be friends.” I want to encourage women to continue being perceptive of men’s behavioral patterns and to trust themselves when they think, “This friendship seems off to me.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:13 PM
28

I certainly believe that women can have platonic male friends, hence the caveat at the start of my post. If the dynamic I've described doesn't resonate with your experience, then it follows that you haven't been in this sort of questionable friendship. Knee-jerk physical attraction happens, but sustained romantic interest requires a certain degree of emotional intimacy, so you likely haven't felt that interest if these men have maintained good boundaries. And presumably they haven't given you th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:36 PM
6

I certainly share your interpretation of the situation. There was definitely secret emotional intimacy developing between them while you were still married to him. How obnoxious that he was still playing the "just friends" card given all that you know. Unfortunately I do wonder if forgoing "closure" and walking away is the only solution with men like this. But good for you for doing what was needed for your own wellbeing. I've expanded my comment into a new post because I am seeing that other wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:07 PM
3

Thank you for sharing! I've started a new post to see what others have to say about the topic. I suspect these stories are quite common, but women are reluctant to share because of the knee-jerk assumption that they are "controlling" or won't "allow" their partners to interact with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:58 PM
3

Thank you! I've expanded my thoughts into a new post to see what others think about the topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:50 PM
41

Ah yes, “muh depression.” Also, I wonder how common it’s been that a young man is visiting his mum because she gives him food or does his laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 06:43 PM
58

I suspect many men make use of the “bumbler” ruse to manipulate their relationships with women in a variety of ways. Long post ahead because I’ve spent quite a lot of time thinking about the manipulative behavior of “sensitive” men, the so called “nice guys,” who easily befriend women. Men who will lead women on, emotionally cheat on their partners in doing so, and get away with both by playing dumb. This type of man loves to be the “good listener” to a female friend or coworker. And while he do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:16 PM
89

Hahaha, no. He can find someone else’s toilet to sit on and take selfies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:47 PM
6

I noticed that as well. If he hasn't even proposed yet, he can take another seat along with the several seats he already needs to take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:42 PM
18

It's basically a cliche that men will have new girlfriends immediately after their wives die and will often be engaged to these new women soon after that. And they all insist that these women were "just friends" who "helped them through things," and that "nothing happened" between them up until their wives' deaths. Blatant cheaters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:56 PM
28

Yikes. Is this just another example of general male audacity and obliviousness, or does he have some grievance with her that he decided to passive-aggressively express with this question? I will not be taking my fiance's last name. A few people have asked me about it because I have a PhD. Each time I have said that I am not changing my name because I don't want to. I don't even mention my PhD or publication record or any of that because I think it's bullshit that women need a "good" reason to ke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:00 PM
30

Unfortunately I guarantee this guy and every other guy like him watches porn and has zero self awareness and will not self reflect for even a moment. Men have always jealously guarded women’s sexuality. This is nothing new or forward thinking. A man’s partner’s body is for him only, and other women’s bodies are also for him. That is monogamy according to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 11:10 AM
19

Remember this sis: he could have been a disgusting unemployed bigoted abusive cheater, and he still would have felt hurt by you leaving. Him feeling hurt does not mean your choice was wrong or a mistake. Just because you were a good partner to him doesn’t mean he was the right partner for you. In the end you are your own advocate. Own your right to make the choices that benefit you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:03 AM
12

Policing your tone, playing dumb to suss out what you know, criticizing you for “snooping”, etc... these are common strategies out of the DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim/offender) playbook for men when confronted about their various infidelities and attempts to hide their infidelities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 01:23 AM
4

Just downloaded the Apollo app for iPhone, and it allows you to filter out an entire sub from a post as well. Don’t know why I didn’t think of trying a third party app again ... it’s been awhile since alienblue I guess. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:07 PM
11

Do you know how to filter subs out of r/popular on mobile? I’ve already stopped browsing r/all because of all the porn, and while r/popular has been better, I’ve noticed some of the “look at these big tits” subs popping up more frequently and would love to block them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:17 PM
50

Tacky. It’s like ogling a woman on the street while pointing and shouting, “Hey everyone, I’m ogling this chick, she makes my dick tingle, might jerk it to her later!” Again, if he has a female acquaintance and he’s liking all of her photos, including any body shot selfies, that’s a red flag. Unless he likes every single photo posted by every single friend, he is clearly paying her special attention, be it because she posts body shot selfies or otherwise. And if he’s blatantly liking body shots …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 02:51 AM
81

Liking photos of random women and IG “models” is tacky and embarrassing, full stop. Liking photos posted by female friends and acquaintances is ok, unless there is special treatment e.g. if he likes 30%-50% of his other friends’ photos but 90%-100% of a certain woman’s photos, then he is paying her particularly close attention, and that’s inappropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 02:24 AM
20

I think it’s enough to say you are an ex girlfriend. You don’t need to get into why you think he ghosted you. Stick to the facts of the current situation with no interpretation or judgements on your part. Just tell her he reached out recently and started messaging you, and you thought she should know about it. Send her the screenshots, and if it turns into drama then block her. You’ve done a service to her by just providing the information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:38 PM
30

Also he could have just done any of that before she gave birth to his damn child. But nope, he couldn’t manage. So sad for her; it’s like he keeps finding ways to let her down. Maybe once the kid is a little older she’ll find a way to step up from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:33 AM
27

Of course the bf justifies his habit because “muh depression.” Standard shitty male cope. Not an ounce of self reflection on why he “needs” a steady stream of sexual objectification to self-soothe. Maybe try talking to a therapist dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 08:22 PM
7

I moved to another state for grad school and had a great time living alone and just doing research for a few years. I would definitely recommend it (for funded grad programs at least).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:13 PM
13

Agreed. Live for yourself and make decisions that are in your best interest. Allow a HVM to put in the effort to find a way to fit into your life, but don’t sacrifice to make the space for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:05 PM
10

Don’t talk about your personal life with him or otherwise encourage further emotional intimacy with him. The crush will fade if you don’t feed it. It shouldn’t take long to move on if he’s leaving within the month anyways. If he pushes to stay in contact, keep this in mind: would you want to be the girlfriend of a guy who goes out of his way to build a relationship with another woman after working with her for a few weeks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 09:58 PM
10

Yes, you can think someone is attractive without acting on it. People aren’t mind readers, so if your partner can tell, then you are acting on it in some way. IMO, considerate partners utilize self control to not act on their knee jerk attractions, and of course they also don’t indulge and deepen any attractions into infatuation and emotional cheating and so on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:23 PM
32

And the one day you finally ask him to pick up his own underwear off the floor, he will huff and roll his eyes at you like you’re the biggest bitch ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 11:49 PM
21

Would he have hugged the coworker if she were a man? That’s how I assess my fiancé’s relationships with other women. If she is not in anyway special to him, then he would not be giving her any special treatment. In a case like this, for example, I know my fiancé does not hug his friends, male or female, and therefore is definitely not hugging his male coworkers, so I would confront him for hugging a female coworker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:40 PM
3

I’m more highly educated than my fiancé (PhD vs BA), but I’ve never seen it as a negative. I’ve yet to meet a man with a PhD in whom I’ve had any interest. Even the ones who weren’t know-it-alls still didn’t hold my attention beyond polite conversation. As someone above explained it, they just haven’t vibed with me. I’m probably more intelligent than him in various ways as well. But he’s certainly quite intelligent overall, and likely surpasses me in creative contexts. I think intelligence, broa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:08 PM
21

Same. If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you. End of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:01 AM
8

As discouraging as the impending cancellation of our wedding is, my fiancé and I have otherwise been doing well in isolation together. Sometimes we hang out together, sometimes we do our own things in separate rooms. We’re both catching up on tidying certain spaces. It’s all fine. Reinforces for me the importance of compatibility in terms of maintaining a good rapport as friends and companions within a romantic relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:44 PM
47

Smartphones and social media have definitely made it easier for men like this to emotionally cheat on their partners and justify it under the same umbrella of normalized infidelity that they use to justify porn. If they aren’t physically fucking the other woman or telling her they love her, they will insist it’s not cheating. Meanwhile they’ll happily ignore their partner to chat up another woman ”as a friend”. They’ll lend a supportive ear to her and like all of her posts on social media, and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 12:26 AM
42

I also suspect that they use the interactions and validation as fuel for their masturbation fantasies. Build real-life familiarity and intimacy with a woman via conversation, then extrapolate to porn-esque fantasy scenarios and jerk off. Similar to the parasocial sexual fixations men form with titty streamers on Twitch and the like, except the objects of fixation are just regular unknowing (and unconsenting) women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 11:54 PM
81

The biggest pitfall of being a low-maintenance cool girl is that his effort and consideration will just keep decreasing over time until it finally wears you thin. It might take months, it might take years, but it will happen eventually. And when you try to introduce the most basic standards or expectations at this point, his spoiled, stubborn ass will just ignore you. Try again, and he’ll throw up his hands in exasperation like you’re asking him for the moon. Being a cool girl is thankless, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 01:57 AM
15

Indeed, there are plenty of in-shape women in their 20s and 30s with no children, whose partners are still no longer aroused by them because they simply aren’t as novel and performative as the endless stream of porn available on every phone and computer. LVM who prefer porn over their wives will prefer porn regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:09 PM
18

Right? She’s even holding the key herself in the photo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:27 PM
6

Yes, and similarly you can have a preference without constantly bringing up that preference using virtue-signaling language like, “I can’t imagine spending X on Y!” You apparently don’t have much of an imagination if you can’t imagine someone spending more than you for something that is more important to them than it is to you. Everyone has something that they value and spend money on that others “can’t imagine” spending that much on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:01 PM
20

Yep, my fiancé paid attention to my preferences and found the perfect ring for me. Plus he decided on his own to go the extra mile to have it made with a Canadian diamond and recycled platinum because the smaller environmental footprint was important to him, even if you can’t see the difference. I had suggested that he take a look at lab diamonds for that reason, but I hadn’t even thought about recycled metals, so I appreciate that he did his own research. Again, in the end it’s about the effort…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:50 PM
44

It has been said that an engagement ring is a symbol of the relationship and the man’s commitment, and I think that’s true in a sense. To me the ring symbolizes a man’s: ability to plan. ability to earn and save money. willingness to prioritize his partner. A HVM wants to provide his partner with something that brings her joy, even if he does not understand or directly experience the same joy himself. He will therefore find out what will bring her joy and work to make that happen. This does not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:50 AM
8

That was my first, admittedly snarky, thought: that when he confronts her she should just turn it around on him for “snooping” and “violating her privacy.” Though I do think having a separate personal account should just be standard, and I think it’s unfortunate if she thinks she needed to hide it from him for personal safety. Nevertheless, I still can’t help but roll my eyes at a man complaining about needing more openness and transparency in a relationship. Yeah, ok buddy, so you’d be cool wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:37 AM
49

Ding ding ding. Of course. He didn’t get drunk and inexplicably hump a random woman he met on the street. He got drunk and unsurprisingly hooked up with a female friend with whom he’s had emotional intimacy. No doubt he has fantasized about her, and in a moment of lowered impulse control, he took a stroll down the carpet he had mentally rolled out for himself months before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:06 PM
29

I’ve encountered plenty of men on Reddit patting themselves on the back for being “ethical” porn users because they prefer “amateur” and “real girl” porn subs. The problem I have with “amateur / homemade” porn and “real girl” nudes is that you can rarely be sure whether it was shared with consent or leaked as revenge porn. Less unethical is not necessarily ethical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 11:31 PM
9

Hypothetically I think it’s possible, but it needs to be based on true introspection and thus internally driven. If it’s reactive, for example in order to meet a partner’s standards, then the apparent transformation is more likely to be the result of better hiding LVM behaviors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:44 PM
20

He’s back because your absence has brought the novelty back. If you become a regular feature in his life again, then he’ll end up once again chasing novelty through porn and whatever else he was up to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:01 AM
15

I would describe porn like I would cocaine: a little bit once in a while won’t kill you, and the effects of it might not be noticeable depending on the person, but even so, no amount is good or healthy for you. And on top of that the industry surrounding it is fucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:33 PM
18

10+ paragraphs about how a middle aged man wanted to fuck a younger woman. What a revelation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:31 PM
6

Omg I snorted; that’s amazing. These men could be lawyers with all of their dissembling and stonewalling with “prove to me that I did that.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:20 PM
17

Oh sis I went through a pickme phase in 2017 as a grown ass adult with a PhD. Embarrassing? Sure. Was I already struggling during a difficult time in my life overall? Yep. Would condescension and “tough love” have helped me then when I was already deep in a state of self loathing? I really don’t think so. So I definitely agree that further alienation on all sides is not the answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 01:38 AM
50

This is very important I think. It’s embarrassing and discouraging enough to be in a position where you suspect you have been putting up with unreasonable shit while being gaslit or DARVOed to think you’re overreacting. To feel berated/mocked/condescendingly pitied on top of that may only serve to deepen the self doubt you’ve already been conditioned into. I get that it’s easy to read about pickme behavior from the outside and get frustrated or roll eyes at it, but I think empathy is needed to p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:45 PM
3

I have a PhD in a STEM field. My experience won’t be directly applicable to a MSW, but perhaps it will be of interest anyways if you are interested in a PhD someday. I took a gap year after undergrad specifically to do internships related to the type of research I wanted to do in grad school. A big priority for me was avoiding student loan debt. Thus I only applied to programs that offered fully funded positions (tuition waiver + stipend). Any STEM PhD program worth its salt will fund its studen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:13 PM
30

It’s the truth. I’ve been happiest when I’m living for myself. And on the whole, my fiancé seems to be happy when I’m happy. Inconveniencing myself, censoring myself, or otherwise de-prioritizing myself for the sake of my fiancé’s comfort or my own sense of being a “good partner” has been a waste of time and energy. So after a regrettable year-long stint of pickmeisha behavior I am back to living for myself, and my fiancé is welcome to come along for the ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:10 PM
3

I think that was included to highlight the importance that they stop using porn i.e. even if they stop because of a stupid or selfish reason (they think it’s a Jew conspiracy or their dick is limp), it’s better than not stopping. Though I do think it could be argued that a man who believes in Jew conspiracies has bigger issues that makes stopping his porn use a moot point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:56 PM
18

I want a long term relationship for the reliable companionship and second income. Neither are necessary to me, but I do think they improve my life. I want marriage for the social benefits mostly. I’ve been happiest in my relationship when I have been prioritizing myself and not emotionally taxing myself with self-imposed burdens of what it means to be a “good partner,” so I plan to do so when married. Not going to sacrifice myself on the alter of being a “good wife.” My goal is to never again tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 04:02 PM
69

Encourage him to go to strip clubs and eventually he’ll get a lap dance or hand job or blow job or sex. Encourage him to look at porn and eventually he’ll choose porn over you or sneakily look at porn during sex or join a cam stream or solicit nudes online. Encourage him to befriend another woman with no boundaries and eventually he’ll be crushing on her or jerking off to her photos or using her attention to stroke his ego or having a full blown emotional affair or cheating physically. Definitel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:19 PM
6

You have to be pretty serious about your porn consumption to feel the need to sign up for any sort of porn or cam site. It’s not like porn is some exclusive members-only commodity anymore. There’s plenty of nudes and clips on the front page of Reddit alone for the “casual” user. Perhaps he signed up to see how far he could get with just his email and balked at having to link a credit card. My money’s on him masturbating in the bathroom more often than you may have noticed. Does he ever bring his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:50 PM
8

Yep. It’s easy to tell herself it’s all well and good right now because she has the lower libido and the porn keeps him off of her when she’s not interested. But with each year she’ll get a year more boring to him while the stream of new porn flows never ending. And with each year he’ll be getting older, and his testosterone will drop, and his libido will drop. Eventually she’ll have the higher libido, and he’ll be turning her down or leaving her wanting because jerking off empties his tank for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:29 PM
25

100% on the lusting. At minimum he jerks off to her social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 10:10 PM
9

And don’t forget the token pickme chiming in with how perfect it was when her guy mumbled “wanna get married?” between belches while sitting on the couch. And how she was so thrilled that she leaned over to fellate his limp dick right there and then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 10:51 PM
11

Porn with women masturbating is the worst for this because dudes assume that it must be what women truly enjoy since they’re doing it to themselves. The amount of bullshit male-gaze spread-eagled pussy slapping and furious index-fingering in that solo girl shit does a disservice to everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 11:04 PM
19

I went to a huge, generally shitty city public high school. Fortunately though, the large student population meant that the students could be stratified into different academic levels. All of my regular classes were with honors-level students and were fine; I only saw shit like this in gym and study hall.
/r/PussyPassDenied01/02/16 03:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter