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Gemini_zyx Archive

View 1 posts and 391 comments by Gemini_zyx on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Question For WomenGemini_zyx/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:56 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

2
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:16 PM
2

I think this is a pretty illuminating point, at least for me. It is hard for some people to conceptualise how someone could struggle with things they themselves and others don't seem to struggle with. My answer would be peoples lives are complex and everyone faces different struggles but it's probably best not to worry to much about trying to convince people who's initially response is to suspect you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:47 AM
0

Ok. Happy for you!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:22 PM
-3

Well we can agree to disagree. I am not interested in semantic debates really. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:11 PM
-1

The red pill doesn't really have one true definition but broadly covers a lot of areas often stemming out of the Men going there own way style of thought. It often covers make rights activism, in all it's forms. Some people will put pick up artistry as red pill or red pill adjacent. If I had to look for one string that tends to go through all of it then it's a idea of seeking independence, especially emotional independence, though it can often end up looking more like isolation in practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:51 PM
–

Yes, but a good person wouldn't want to receive a partner in order to get sex. Unfortunately many people are willing to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:43 PM
2

Yea, it's s unfortunate. Our brains evolved in a far different social environment. Shirt term emotional stimulation of this level can easily overwhelm our brains, especially when people submerge themselves in it so they never have time to think about anything else. I think we saw it start with 24/7 news but social media only makes it worse. Far worse
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 12:55 PM
14

I used to know a good acronym for this but it included Informed, specific, retractable, communicated, freely given. Consent is not a check box you tick, it's an ongoing process. I do think a lot of people don't really see it this way though
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 12:42 PM
5

There are plenty of people trying to tell men, and anyone, that it's ok to hurt but you need to push on. That you can't control the world but you can control your actions. That you should focus on being the best person you can and maybe you will find a partner and maybe you won't. The problem is it's simple less emotionally compelling at a surface level. Preaching pain and anger is cheap and reinforced by an algorithm that needs engagement. The best thing to do for a lot of young men who are dra…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 12:40 PM
–

Its easy to think you are a good person, most people do, but without actually any level of honest self reflection. People can often find any justification and use to avoid actually contemplating what their impacts are on the world and other people. In this scenario we often see people see consent not as a ongoing process to ensure the happiness of both people but as the lowest bar to cross to then be able to tell themself "I did what I needed" without any more thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:50 AM
–

Legally and morally it is different. Just because there is no legal ramifications doesn’t mean that things were done well. Men, or women, who focus on the lowest legal level should be socially shunned.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:29 AM
–

Do you see there is a difference between these two questions?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:26 AM
–

No one should be punished for having consenting sex just because their partner changes their minds after. There is no practical way to legislate a guarantee of honesty. That being said if someone’s focus is on "what’s the lowest barrier I need to not be legally punished that’s a worrying sign"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:16 AM
–

No. It's fallacious to claim because we can't specifically describe every interaction that such things are unknowable. Describe to me everything a player must know in a game of football? You can't. But we can learn how to play.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:32 AM
–

When you want to know your responsibilities. Do you want to tell yourself you are a good person or actually be a good person?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:29 AM
–

Trying to write out an exact list is a doomed endeavour as the breadth of what interactions can look like and the surrounding circumstances is vast. But are you looking for the minimal dye diligence you can get away with or how to actually be a caring person?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:13 AM
–

There are certainly cases where this happens but it's a spectrum. From online testimony it's very hard to know how much consent was freely given and how much it wasn't. The issues are the middle ground. Most, not all, times people complain about being used for sex it wasn't as nice and clean as your arguement suggests. People can lie, put pressure on above what's fair ect. It could also be a real failure of aftercare, leaving someone who went through an emotional experience feeling alone and ash…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:46 AM
–

Consent is a more nuanced thing than just saying "yes". It needs to be informed, ongoing, specific, retractable and willingly given. Just yesterday there was a horrible report on women pressured into sex as swingers by their husbands. Any person who values sex over their partners comfort is a shitty person, male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:37 AM
2

Its a good question. Partly because speaking up feels pretty pointless. Structural issues like male loneliness (female loneliness is also a huge problem but there are slightly separate factors) are VERY difficult to tackle. Just being vocal doesnt feel like it actually achieves anything. Men sometimes do speak about such issues but sometimes to friends and family rather than publicly online. And lastly because sometimes some men do care about these issues MORE in terms of being able to argue aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:45 AM
1

I have tired and it's been the cause of my emotional exhaustion. I'm about to start another course of therapy but unfortunately chronic isolation has done a number of my mental health
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:02 PM
1

I think I am a decent person. Other than my hair, which I never get right, I am happy with myself. However I don't meet people, I'm overly confident and live in a small town. I am often emotionally exhausted with life. I have just come to accept how things are
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:35 PM
1

The feeling is if you think you are the best you can .be but are still being rejected, especially over things you can't control, it is going to cause some resentment. I'm not personally into trying to convince others but do generally feel I simply won't find anyone that wants me anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 04:00 PM
21

I don't agree with this false binary of "either you actions are completely your own or they are not yours at all" All of us as people, our habits and choices, are shaped by the society we live in. It's almost such an obvious point that it doesn't need stating. You could have taken a much softer argument claiming women have more agency than they often claim but no, you prefer to frame everything as a choice as if social conditions and conditioning have no impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 11:59 AM
1

Sucks to be me I guess then. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:09 PM
2

I agree that people shouldn't be shamed for their preferences. Though the potential side effects of this lean towards red pill talking points or a small portion of men being seen as dating material.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:49 PM
17

Ok I certainly feel this framing is more accurate, I have certainly seen men make the claim here that women should give men they aren't attracted to a chance. Personally I don't think anyone owes anyone else a chance, and should only date who they want to
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:27 PM
45

I find men often are seen as shallow for doing so. You even said being a guy is seen as synonymous with lusting after women. I personally not sure I agree with the idea women are shamed for calling men attractive but it just may be I haven't experienced it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:48 PM
1

I dont think this is a "entitled to ones body issue". Really not helping someone move who you don't know well is not a big deal DEPENDING how you handled it. If you handled it they way you described it then it does come across as rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 06:43 PM
9

And how would you increase pair bonding?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:09 PM
5

I didn't read the full paper (which is ok because no one else here will anyway) but I don't think they are actively making gender relationship worse. They are looking at the evidence of low birthrates and low partnership numbers and suggesting a possible solution. If a country is worried about birthrates then helping single mothers, or single fathers once technology increases as the article states, is a pretty fast way to try and reduce the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:05 PM
7

I mean, there are male sex workers, male porn stars and male escorts. Men in desperate situations might be less likely to go to sex work but its because there isnt a large market. Selling drugs or other crimes often are just an economically better deal. Im wondering why are you claiming "selling your body" is the only relevant factor in what makes a gender ethical?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:36 AM
5

I don't think many men do expect that but wanting to be desired and noticed is a pretty human feeling. I really don't get people being so dismissive of feelings of loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:41 PM
0

I guess when they feel they aren't finding partners a classic thing to worry about is your looks, especially if you are using dating apps. It's understandable for people to say "oh you look great" but if your experiences is never being noticed you stop believing it pretty quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:08 PM
1

In what ways do you think children then were more strong than those today? And what teachings do you think modern children should get that they arnt?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:46 PM
2

If you believe evolution, which is true, we evolved under vastly different social conditions than what we live under. We didn't have the internet. Social connections where with far smallee groups than we have now. Ultimately as social institutions change it shapes us differently. A lot of unhappiness in people's lives comes from feeling disconnected from social groups. Some aspects of modern society are lacking and others are improvements. However if people of those times grew up under our condi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:13 PM
0

Yes but I think this is a vocal minority
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:12 PM
2

Yes but Reddit is not the entire if society.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:36 PM
4

Men are not all as superficial as you seem to think. Certainly there are shallow men, and the way dating culture works, especially apps, tends to highlight or re-enforce this but its not true. There is enough evidence from men in long term relationships to show it cant be a catch all rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:13 AM
2

It's a slightly odd post which largely seems to be you inventing hypothetical scenarios to think how you would act. I don't think there is anything wrong with this really as a fun exercise but it's not really that relevant to how society operates. The two things I would say is firstly you really can't know how you would act in an emergency. I also have created flattering hypothetical scenarios where I am the hero but in reality I don't think I would be any different. Also the idea of Women and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:13 AM
6

So no when push comes to shove it DOESN’T guarantee things are split equally. Im sorry but this point makes it hard to take the rest of your claims seriously. The point about men not being credited for work they do is far but it can work the other way as well. Often overlooked is the mental load women take up on the chores. I think there is some valid points but you are stretching the claims beyond what is reasonable, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:25 PM
6

So the wage gap certainly shrinks when you include overtime but its still a very complex factor. Im more interested your idea that a man and a women when married are a single unit. This just isnt the case overall. Sure some people will have relationships like that but many, I think most, people still maintain separate finances. Also do you have studies that show that if you compare hours worked it is equivalent to time spend doing chores? Im not saying its not true but I would need evidence to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:10 PM
–

I don't think women are expecting "men to use their bodies" to protect them. This seems like an intentional stretching of the claim. Women, and all people, would like other people to step in in certain reasonable situations. If I collapsed I would want people to help me, regardless of gender. If I felt threatened and others helped that would be great. Now I understand people might not. If I'm being attacked by a group with knives I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to risk their life helping, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 09:18 AM
1

Yea, they would be. But that's a different argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:25 PM
3

I think the point about PR is valid, especially in the age of social media. Emotional content spreads more and anger spreads the fastest. I have to constantly remind myself that the stories I see of toxic women are just a selected handful of experiences that spread because they are emotional stimulating, and not in a good way. I don't really know what we can do about this though. Unless we are willing to regulate social media and news more then it seems the problem will only get worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:40 PM
9

While I think that actually building up in person connections IS a good strategy for in the long run finding partners, I do find it often comes with a general narrative of "of just go and talk to women and it's easy." I think people should be far more realistic when giving advice that if you are alone it could take years to get to a place with in person connections and well developed social skills. One of the hardest things to deal with emotionally for me was when I started taking advice to put …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:34 AM
2

Repling to find this comment when I can actually look at the videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:04 PM
0

No. I am aware they can be lonely too. It was mainly responding to the most women would change position with you if they could sort of claim. I understand the point of these posts but telling people other people suffer doesn't help with peoplee pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:19 PM
1

No, you don't I agree. It was really just responding to the most women would swap positions with you if they could. Even with friends I don't think most women would want to be single aged 31. I know the point being made but being told other peoples lives aren't great so don't worry never really helped people deal with their own pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:14 PM
0

Yes, I think there is a difference between laughing at tasteless jokes and supporting the underlying thing. Do you think the women the guy is raging about would laugh in court? Or men who laugh at rape jokes actually find rape funny?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:03 PM
7

Sure you can give your children a better life, but you also have a better life. Early feminism was not children focused but economic, political and personal rights for women as individuals, the same rights men basically had. Also I think feminism was good for women, its other structural issues (capitalism) to blame for the issues you mention.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:54 PM
3

Do you think this general apathy should also be the stance men take towards women in general? I personally think a level of sympathy is good both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:30 PM
1

Women are thrilled when women cut of guys dicks? I'm sorry, what?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:28 PM
3

Sympathy is an expensive currency when everyone has their own problems. It's true a lot of times men don't seem sympathetic. Let's take the infamous "man Vs bear" example. While it's completely understandable that women pick the bear a man being told he, in general, is seen as a worse pick than a wild animal hurts. Even if you can empathise it's hard to hold sympathy as your primary emotion when you are hurt. Similar with the walking at night example. You can feel awful that women dont feel safe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:24 AM
1

Please respond to my point. I'm dealing with the initial claims of your post. I haven't had time to dive into the statistical claims yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:05 PM
2

Dude, calm down. When you say "grilled" what are you picturing? And yes suicidal people are in trouble but it also doesn't mean they can't be in a place that can cause emotional, or physical, harm to others. Again looking at these points it's in general "make sure this is known about" As for the authors claim it's the first thing they will get asked about. I don't believe here and she hasn't provided much other than quoting "coincider if the person is at risk of violence to themselves or their f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:58 PM
1

Ok so let's discuss. If you look at the bullet points under "what this actually means". Which one of these do you think is draconian? Do you think government services should not be interested in background checks and acting to reduce harm or what?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:44 PM
1

So yes the author seems to be writing heavily on this subject but reading the article it claims that a lot of these are "Draconian" in her what it means in practice section but all it seems to really be is services will be aware of you have a history or risk of violence to women's. And typically in medical confidentiality it ends if you are risk to yourself or others. Feeling suicidal is awful, I have been there myself many times, but it doesn't mean you are somehow incapable of hurting others. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:34 PM
-6

Daily Sceptic. I think you might want to conciser where you get your news. Its seems like a conspiracy theory outrage mill.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:04 PM
–

So you arnt going to even try to answer the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:51 PM
–

Before we go any further do you think that being told that you might be single for your life is pretty equivalent to a terminal cancer diagnosis? If so what ways in particular
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:33 PM
–

Sure, but thats what I mean about the whole dying of cancer comparison. People shouldnt see being single as some truly cataclysmic event like a terminal cancer diagnosis. It makes it very hard to have a constructive conversation when people treat it like that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:26 PM
–

You can form connections with people without having a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:22 PM
–

I wish these takes were done without the hyperbole of calling being single equivalent of a cancer diagnosis. The core point though is I don't think people should be surprised that men who feel they are struggling become awful men, just disappointed
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 11:43 AM
2

I guess I want someone to show interest in me and be up for spending time getting to know eachother more, but at this point I would settle just for feeling noticed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:13 PM
–

So I understand how difficult and painful it can feel. It's natural to want to feel desired. For your question though a guy's type personality wise is probably more important. Secondly, if he is in a relationship with you, assuming it's long term, and he tells you he likes you then you should try to believe him. It's easy to get caught up on thinking men have one specific type and if you deviate from that in anyway then it means you sent desirable but attraction doesn't work that way for a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:56 AM
3

I don't know how many men would see it as an injustice rather than a shame. Have you asked men this hypothetical and got answers or are you predicting how they would respond.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:21 PM
–

I see. I know in the UK we see a swing towards the right wing in young men and left wing in young women but I don't know how gender issues are the main driving factor. It plays a roll but to what extent it shapes policy beyond rhetoric I haven't looked into.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:17 PM
–

What do you mean by throwing politics against women? Leaning right wing?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:25 AM
–

My point is less of direct equivalence and more why people don't have much time to show sympathy for people that are complaining about a system that they themselves have struggled with, especially when the people complaining often act like struggles you might have don't exist or shouldn't matter much. Also not ever men needs to be a low effort liar, there just needs to be enough of them to make dating unpleasant and risky.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:12 AM
–

It's natural to want empathy, or even a degree of sympathy, for issue that are very real. The problem is empathy is emotionally taxing and often not treated with respect by the people getting it. Women also have their own problems with dating and just in general. People can offer empathy to individuals, and do often, but another 3 people will post the same hour. Meanwhile a lot of these people arnt very interested in offering that same empathy back. They want their groups issued acknowledged whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:43 AM
–

Firstly, modern dating sucks for everyone. I think people find it quite hard to listen to people complain about something for their in-group when they feel that there in-group has it just as bad, or worse, and that's not being talked about. Secondly, listening and sympathising is emotionally expensive and communities like this subreddit are not places conducive to it. It's designed around debate and red Vs blue pill. There are areas on Reddit far better suited for it. Lastly, what are you hoping…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:13 AM
4

And what's your view on the broader point that you might be perceived as not listening to peoples broader concerns in favour of trying to use evidence to win the argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:01 PM
11

I would suggest there are two different scenarios here. Firstly in person discussions emotions play a factor. If your partner was complaining you spend too much time on video games it's based on her feelings. Showing evidence that actually you don't feels like you might have missed the point. This would not be exclusive to just women, it's a pretty standard response in discussions Secondly you often have the issue of statistics feeling like they are cherry picking or arguing against the letter o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:18 PM
3

That's a very balanced and reasonable take, I think. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:07 PM
1

What you coincider good, for the sake of this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:49 PM
2

That's interesting. I personally would feel more women would pass both tests but only by a small amount, maybe 10% more. But it's just by personal gut feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:21 PM
2

Good question. I copied the wording directly from the previous thread, which offered no clarification. But yi be charitable I think a moral compass that you would deem as good, not just anyone with moral conviction.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:20 PM
2

Yep very true. I'm the male version of this thread the feeling varied from <20% to around 80% I was just interested to see how the discussions differed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:05 PM
-2

I don't expect anyone to know, but I would be interested to see what the vibes are.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:02 PM
–

Do you think that all forms of mental illness impare people as much as intoxication? Also I don't think it's "any amount of alcohol" that feminists typical argue means it's not consentual. Feels like you are snuggling in a extreme claim to justify you broader one. Edit: your source says 25%, roughly of women have a mental disorder but classified it as "Any mental illness (AMI) is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder. AMI can vary in impact, ranging from no impairment to mild, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:50 PM
9

If you take a really hard line with question one then almost no one. Acting publicly and consistently with moral conviction probably requires devoting ones life to charity work. But if we take a slightly less extreme line and say it's people who treat women well, will call out harassment and has their shit together? I don't know how to calculate but my guy feeling is not high. <20%
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 10:32 AM
1

Yea. I find a mix of being less confident and not meeting many people is my biggest obstacle. Hopefully things will get better.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:25 PM
1

I think being a god man, or women, is no real guarantee that you will find people. Unless part of being "good" is the ability to meet people in which case the argument is tautological xD
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:05 PM
2

I see. I have tried dating apps with no real success. I have some online friends but I don't think they will go anywhere
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:53 PM
2

Yea that's the vibe I got from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:44 PM
2

I have an Internet connection but online connections don't really cut it when dealing with social isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:44 PM
2

It's seems to be pretty extreme, so much so that it no longer describes reality but a sort of parody state were sex has been elevated to extremes as the only thing that matters. I don't think any of the points are actually that valid unless you mean them more as poetry and then will retreat to a far less extreme point behind it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:24 PM
6

I like to think I'm a good man but I live in a isolated area and don't have a large social battery. Does that mean I'm not actually a good man?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:26 PM
7

Yep. Women are best doing at little as possible but looking hot. Wouldnt want them to risk trying to do anything to complicated or difficult, leave that to men. More seriously chores should be split in a way that works for each relationship. Typically women end up doing more of the repetitive chores and men do on off ones like fixing leaks. Notably this basically ends up with women doing a lot more, and thats before we add on the mental load of managing them. Basically make sure you feel able to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:17 AM
1

I personally try to qualify that loneliness isn't only a male problem but a growing problem in the world today. That being said, as other commentators have pointed out, typically men have less emotional support from non-partner relationships. I do think people sometimes claim men have no standards and this isn't true, they just tend to be more willing to engage in short term sexual relations.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:18 AM
3

I mean, yea people actually are pretty liberal in general is the US and the media has played a role in it. Meanwhile a lot of the conservative areas have been clearly shaped by saturation of Fox news over decades. So why its it surprising that porn might affect people who consume it. Especially given the young age kids tend to be exposed to it now.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:38 AM
5

So I dont like the framing that you are EITHER totally warped by media you consume OR you are completely unaffected. Its been a while since I looked into it and its complicated but I think the consensus seems to be that seeing depictions in media makes people more likely to engage in acts they were already predisposed to. Do you think our personality is not shaped at all by the media we consume?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:59 AM
3

Well yes artificial stuff can still have problems, such as promoting unhealthy views of women and relationships. Sometimes artificial stuff can be more extreme in this way. There are a lot of very solid arguments against porn in general. Do you need to be convinced? No, plenty of people enjoy their porn. But we shouldn't pretend it can only exist as harnless fun outside of any affects on society
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:40 AM
2

As pointed out by others sex is not the same as loneliness. Hypothetically if you could lose your name, face and identity but be able to have sex a lot would you do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:06 AM
13

I don't know whether it's better to address the core points about the problems with porn or the general level of emotion you seem to be feeling here. You are free to watch porn of you want. That choice is up to you. Regarding porn in general claims of consent and legality are important but unfortunately don't exist in a black and white spectrum. Many porn exists that was non consentual, many actresses and actors have talked about how you can end up pressured and coerced into doing things you wen…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:04 AM
–

Yes and I think that's an incorrect point. Being lonely isn't solved by just choosing to partner up with someone. That partner needs to provide emotional support, enjoyment etc
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 07:37 AM
–

No I got that. My point is that a lot of average men provide relationships that are not emotional fulfilling and often actively bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 07:35 AM
–

True, so that's why women might avoid "pausing the game" with mediocre relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:30 PM
–

I feel this is drifting away from the original point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:10 PM
–

I don't think that's true. If anything flakey people arnt worth regardless
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:08 PM
–

Ordinary relationships come with commitments and obligations. I can see why people don't want to commit to that unless the person seems to be a worth it It also closes down the possibility of better opportunities during the relationship. I think it's pretty reasonable for people to avoid this
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:03 PM
–

I never get this argument because it seems to suggest any sort of relationship should count as a way to avoid loneliness. In realty bad relationships are not going to help provide the social support and connections that people need.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:51 PM
0

Ah yes, I find no difficulty in believing that 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:05 PM
2

I will take your word for it then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:33 PM
1

Ok so it is a bit more common than I thought but still I don't think it's a mainstream view. Thank you for informing me
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:06 PM
4

I don't think men commonly think this and I don't think a handful of powerful or rich men are evidence of a general rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:56 PM
–

Well said
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:51 PM
–

I do think that at sb individual level men, or women struggling with social isolation should do what they can to engage with existing resources to help. At a society level yes maybe men should firm stronger advocacy groups to fight for male specific issues, though loneliness is not make specific. I am also cautious that if this happens it will possibly end up attracting men who see male advocacy as a anti+women movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:19 PM
–

Well handled by politicql institutions, my instinct is smaller scale community institutions would be better to deal with it than at a national level.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:42 PM
–

I didn't say that, be careful with quotation marks please. I was more talking about general loneliness than dating in particular. It's also not a guarantee but people who fall out of community tend to more likely to be violent or turn to drugs etc
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:41 PM
–

Indeed. I was worried I may not have made myself clear but apparently some people have followed my point. Thats good to know. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:52 AM
–

Unfortunately I'm not in a position to answer that well. I think we need to continue looking at and investing in schemes at the local level. Job training is one, mental health support ect. This is a very difficult issue and I think given the economic and personal costs involved we shouldn't neglect it. Small scale experimental project in community, overseen by people with training in sociology sound like a good start For the individual its not an issue to be concerned about anymore than homeless…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:12 AM
–

For that I don't have an answer personally. I do think we should defer to experts who look into loneliness and isolation and investigate with small scale projects to see what can be done. At an individual level women, or men, should not feel responsible for male, or female, loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:08 AM
–

Individually nothing. Collective as society we should. I did a quick Google and in USA despair related injuries cost approximately $1 trillion a year. If that can be reduced then even if you didn't care about anyone but yourself in society then there is economic gain. Again this shouldn't be looked as an individual level problem
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:01 AM
–

Depending on the locations there can be some but broadly we need more. I know this is ppd but I was trying really hard to point out this isn't so much a men's Vs women's issues but a societal one. It's not going well, clearly 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:55 AM
–

No. Please be a bit charitable, I have twice said community integration is what in pushing for NOT sex or partnership. And it's not your problem as a woman but as a citizen, community member and taxpayer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:53 AM
–

Because it's an incredible inefficient way to run society. It's like how if you treat mental health BEFORE it gets to crisis point you save money. We don't need to care about moral arguments, if you have people depressed or angry it had costs on local communities and economies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:49 AM
–

Exactly. For homeless we don't say "individual people should help then" but "as a society we should provide tool and resources" The same approach should be looked at for the increasing number of isolated people.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:47 AM
–

Well personal I do want as many people to be happy as possible, it also has knock on effects on things like local economies and communities with rising unhappiness. Deaths of despair are not a good thing. There is absolutely no excuse for violence against women BUT we also have to be realistic about society. This is why I advocate in more local community so anyone, man, women or non-binary, who struggles with loneliness and isolation has an easier time and can reintegrate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:42 AM
–

They shouldn't on an individual level At a societal level we should be concerned with overall happiness, and work towards improving community connections, and violence against women maybe steemming from these men but the solution is not just date them
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:16 AM
13

My sister and her partner. Both doctors and work so hard almost every day, in my sisters case saving lives in A&E.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:03 PM
9

Not really. I technically am on apps and went to a few events a month or two ago but after so much lack of success you just kinda stop trying. I don't think Reddit counts a place to meet a partner, certainly not this subreddit 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:25 PM
2

A lot of people tell me that. I was told the exact same thing for the last 15 years. I remember my parents being excited for me to start university as they assumed I would make friends and maybe find a partner. Unfortunately the world is not a just place were good people magically end up with partners and friends. Increasing people find it harder and harder. While I have not completely discounted the possibility I also am realistic. The chances of me finding someone soon is slim and I don't see …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:30 AM
2

So keeping it brief, for most of my adult life is struggled with depression and social anxiety. I got a diagnosis of Asperger's (no longer used I think) at the age of 22. I am now 31 and have never had a partner. Dropping out of university I found myself without any social connections to use to help me engage with social events. I have no local friends (my brother and a couple of online friends I play DND with don't live near me) By around 25 i started using dating apps for periods of time, ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:49 AM
1

So when you say people should stop inferencing then show some pretty reasonable gender proposal that you don't really disagree with I guess I struggle to understand what your point was.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:26 PM
1

And these are unacceptable for you? In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:20 PM
1

Which part of society are you thinking of? I'm not aware of gender quotas being common practice
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:59 PM
2

In what way exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:52 PM
2

I am in a similar position and it's rough, but men like this are awful. It's no way to act to anyone. It's disgusting
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:39 PM
9

No. Women are not "torturing" men by dressing sexy. Thats the bottom line. However needs and wants don’t function like a simple binary. We NEED food to survive but we dont thrive on a diet of rice, even if we can live. For men, and women, who struggle with isolation or not being sexually fulfilled it can be painful to see beautiful people and I do sympathise with that. BUT that is unfortunately something they need to learn to deal with. Its not on other people in society to change themselves to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:27 PM
0

Is that by Strauss? Didn't he more recently release a book detailing how his time in the seduction community fucked up his ability to have long term lasting relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 02:00 PM
0

I think it's not fair to compare the harm done by sexual assault which is often a very short term traumatic event to the long term effects of the worst kind of dehumanising work. If I HAD to pick one it would be sexual assault but the psychological effects of some forms of work if engaged with for years can be awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:12 PM
1

Not quite I understand your point other than a vast generalisation as women being somewhat irrational which I don't agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:01 PM
8

I broadly agree. I don't think it only applies to romantic relationships but connections in general. I am aware that for my parents and step parents, for all of them their partners and family relations are the most important things to give them meaning and enjoyment in their life. While no one should ONLY rely on a partner for happiness I find many people seem to dismiss the importance of close relationships. I don't know exactly why.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:53 PM
2

I dont think anyone told men "If you are nice it a woman will give you sex." And personally I try to be nice because its the right thing to do. As for others, I cant speak to why they act how they do. Being kind to people has not really worked so well though so maybe thats a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:18 PM
3

I almost agree with you but you seem to have taken a pretty sensible idea that anyone who is feeling isolated and non connected with society should have access to support and made it about men and having a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:05 AM
2

I wish I had your level of confidence. It's a lot harder when you are trying to overcome social anxiety.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:59 AM
–

I certainly agree that women, and everyone but particularly women, should be very careful about becoming dependent on anyone. But I'm interested in your view that the majority of men think this way, even if it's secret. So you think it's very likely that I had our a version of the venue that dread can be a useful too to make women sleep with me?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:37 AM
–

It's a shame real life connections are becoming increasingly hard to find nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:53 AM
–

Sadly you are probably right. Still I find one actually use of this sub is to remind me that there are people in the world that are genuinely unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:39 AM
–

Honestly some of the views shared here are really disturbing. I genuinely wonder what these people are like offline if you meet them in casual conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:16 AM
6

I don't think the article I could read was that accusing. Which quotes in particular made you feel it was?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:12 PM
15

So I agree it does seem that there could be a bias with how the media phrases these, I hit pay walls on some of the articles so can't be 100% accurate However, they might be another factor here which is age. IF women are choosing to engage in there 20-30s but men are engaging on their teens then there could be as justification. The idea being that adults have already developed social skills and connections in their teens but now add Ai as opposed to teens choosing it instead of connections. That…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:01 PM
2

Correct. I was working my way through the sources. Yea that balances out point 1
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:00 PM
21

So the first source shows that among people who are having sex, men have more partners. It doesn't show how this applies to people who don't have sex. The second source also points out that while single rates are equal, more men are actively trying to date than women. This could support the idea that men are struggling more
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:56 PM
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Probably a few reasons. First people tend to reject perceived criticism or attacks on their "in-group" especially from an "out-group" Secondly, they may feel it putting all the blame on men for what can be complex interactions In debate based forums specifically ever seeding any ground can open your side up to further attacks. And lastly because it seems to be working. If these techniques lead to sex, or I'm a number actual relationship, then some men may feel part of the issue is on women for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:25 PM
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That's definitely a possibility. I don't like the idea of how common it is among men and emotional I wanted to reject it but evidence is evidence. I think what we can draw from this is the sexual coercion is really common among men. That's very worrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:09 AM
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While looking through the study it only looked at youmg men with had had sex with a women with the last two 2 years. Usual caviats of this being a servay and a single date point ofc but this seems pretty worrying. A lot of men who are having sex seem to using coercive strategies and those that aren't don't seem to be having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:21 AM
8

I don't think single men have much luck anywhere. Stuff sucks in a different way for men and women 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:58 PM
–

Because people, especially online, give generic crappy advice. People don't take the time to know people they are advising but still want the feel good feeling of giving advice. It's not unique to the blue pill
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 07:26 AM
2

The main purpose of this subreddit for me seems to be making feel better about being alone because a lit of people would be worse to be stick with
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:40 PM
2

Well I have explained my point a few times. If I haven't made it clear I think it's best to leave it at that
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:13 PM
2

I'm not saying women would accept the downsides. I'm saying they don't vocally ask for them when asking/fighting for chanf Op said men want all the upsides women have but not the downsides and I was simply pointing out this is not really surprising based on how groups advocate
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:29 PM
2

Women might wish to be able to feel safe walking the street alone. Do they also want to be perceived as a potential threat by a large number of the population?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:48 PM
1

There are 2 separate points as to whether women gave overall greater privileges, they don't Or whether they have any privileges men don't have, they do. I don't think shutting down the discussion of the latter because of the former is helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:25 PM
2

So I was attempting to demonstrate how when people typically fight or ask for certain rights they don't ask for the downsides along with it. This applies to all groups not just men wanting the areas women are privileged The draft was just an example to illustrate that. I should have choses a different one it seems
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:09 PM
2

Well women need to want to engage in dating in the first place given previous issues. Also men have to accept that women might see them as a threat or someone who is emotionally underdeveloped just as ab existing stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:58 AM
-1

For casual sex you can look at the other factors Gecko listed. Ability to stop anytime etc. My overall points is there are a lot of factors outside a man's control that can make dating feels frustrating even for a good person and that there exist areas in which women are privileged over men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:54 AM
0

Yes. It is an example to illustrate how when people want improvements they don't also argue for the downsides. It's just how people are
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:31 AM
0

So calling femake privilege seems fair. There definitely are areas of privilege women have. It's not everywhere and men also have privileges but I don't see the issue with acknowledging the existence of them where they do exist
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:19 AM
3

But with is mind even if a man were to do his fair share of chores, be emotionally mature etc then a woman would still have reservations based on risks alone. So men will be attempting to date with a huge numbers of factors outside their control making the likelihood of finding a partner difficult? Along with the fact women will often assume men will not be a good person and able to do their part in a relationship. Yea that's not exactly an awesome situation to be in either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:09 AM
–

I think this is true for every in the dating scene. You should try to not pin too much on other people before you get to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:51 AM
5

So I think it's fair to say men want the benefits of being a women without the downsides. That's just how people are. Women want rights but not to be drafted as an example, and this isn't a gotcha it's just of course people tend to want to improve their situation and don't want the difficulties. I do think your final point is interesting though, while the generalisation that men bring less might be true you aldo pointed out very real issues for women In your post. So is it also not possible that…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:49 AM
3

Yea I completely understand. Unfortunately dating sucks for a lot of people and for very different reasons. I wish there was some easy solution but there doesn't seem to be. I just wish in general they was a bit more sympathy and empathy from everyone to everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:42 AM
6

I can understand where that you might be coming from. I find however that people of all genders do need some space to just vent at times. It doesn't need to be oppression olympics and men don't need to contrast their pain to women's, just talk about real difficulties they face
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:22 AM
19

So firstly I agree that women tend to have an advantage when it comes to being chosen in dating. Many men, myself included, never feel like they even get past that initial stage of someone thinking "yea he could be nice to date" and frankly it sucks. However I have 2 points to raise. Firstly I don't think this fact is unacknowledged by women at nearly the level you think. A lot, but not all, women are willing to admit this. Secondly and more interestingly is the idea you seem to suggest that pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:32 AM
2

Online, 1/2 the dialogue is for the audience. Hopefully people see it and think a bit at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:37 PM
2

Ok, death under a society collapse would not be a good evidence of evolution
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:36 PM
5

Very few scientific theories have been bastardised as much as Darwin's theory of evolution by nature selection and you arnt helping the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:14 PM
9

Women DIDN'T stop doing it. Women are still as responsible for society as men are. They still perform a disproportionate amount of care jobs for instance. The second point is harder. I think broadly we need to challenge the power of capital in general but that's a whole can of worms to unpack
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:00 PM
6

While a part of it might be the desire for submissive partner the charitable side of me thinks it's the lamenting of the near guarantee of a partner in general. That being said, yes, the solution is very much NOT return to historical partner relationships which were often male dominated and not suitable for the current world
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:54 PM
3

We certainly should be. I think almost everyone would agree a society where people can easily find a partner that suits them if they want is a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:51 PM
5

Correct, which is why I have been talking about the underlying issues that come to the surface as complaints about women and men's role in society. Look at ops post. Sex was hardly mentioned
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:05 PM
6

It's not just sex it's a crisis of meaning. I'm not trying to absolve such men, or women, if any responsibility but it does end up being socially toxic for society. Then it becomes our problem whether we like it or not. The power of the evangelical movement in US and it's success in fighting against women's reproductive rights is in part rooted in the real pain of a lot of working class people's lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:03 PM
5

I think the "moaning and bitching" is a sign of real pain. Journalists have been pointing out the real misery affecting men, and women, in the modern world. It drives the far right profiting of grievance culture and makes it almost impossible to deal with the real underlying issues of climate change and wealth inequality
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:54 PM
9

Eh the issue is you don't need much outrage when there is an economy to be made milking it. There are great creators making content about feminism but rp influences ignore it because they thrive on high emotional content. The same is true for a lot of online conversations. Even if 90% of female creators made well researched, level headed analysis the only thing that will be focused on is the 10% of extreme stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:53 PM
1

Yes but are they not allowed to share their opinion and emotion regarding the lack of that limb? Doing so isn't always entitlement, though it could be, but can be just an expression of ones views about the world and place in it This is why I think it's important to differentiate between actual entitlement and just expression of pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:48 PM
3

While I am sympathetic to the sentiment I don't think the collapse of society will broadly be a good thing. At the least a lot of people will suffer a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:44 PM
9

This seems an incredibly uncharitable claim. How could you possibly feel confident in knowing the employment status of the majority of posters?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:40 PM
7

A lot of themes mixed up here. Firstly society has required labour of a huge number of people in different roles, not just men. Child care and domestic work was just as needed as scientists and engineers to make the modern world. Secondly toxic masculinity was coined by the mythopoeic mens movement to describe certain aspects of masculinity that are destructive. Traditional thinks like homophobia or repression of emotions. The topic is actually very complicated and I'm not an expert but it isn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:39 PM
3

I don't think saying "man my arm is killing me" is acting entitled to a non sore arm. Similar saying "I wish I wasn't lonely" isn't saying I am entitled not to be lonely, just a wish I wasn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:35 PM
1

I have never paid for apps but also never had any success with the.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:36 AM
1

Oh, that sounds more entitled than quiet a lot of other instances I have seen. I wonder how OP would respond to that 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:32 AM
1

No, I dont think thats a fair arguement
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:36 PM
1

I think that misses the point I was making. Its not really about whether someone can live off of their videos its whether its evidence of broad trends. Do you think numberphiles 4.5 Million subs shows that maths is actually a really popular subject?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:24 PM
3

The problem is to demonstrate systemic trends you cant really rely on a handful of social media influencers. When talking about misogyny you can point to large trends in sexual violence etc. You can point at issues like male loneliness and suicide rates as legitimate issues but I dont think this clears that bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:05 PM
10

I never claimed I supported her views. In fact I think many of her proposals are not well thought through. Her points about how freedoms often come without responsibilities do give some food for thought though. How did you come across this video? Or at least the thumbnail which is what you engaged with initially?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:49 PM
17

Good news! I actually AM watching the video. Unlike you with a cheap attempt at a "gotcha" I am interested in good faith engagement. The first part of the video discusses how she views male freedoms dont tend to come with associated responsibilities. She talks of how "family abandonment" was codified into law in the early 20th century and the vast majority of people who were charged with it were men. This continued through the depression, there was a temporary halt during ww2, then it picked up …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:45 PM
12

Yes, I guessed as much. I am currently watching the video you sourced and I assume you saw the thumbnail and jumped to conclusions. So far she has not promoted any Misandry but has been discussing the difference between the responsibility difference with regard to reproduction we have between women and men. I really think you should learn not to just look at headlines then presume you are an expert on what is being discussed in the video. If it changes radically by the end I will update you as I…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:27 PM
21

I dont think showing one example is ever evidence for large systemic trends. You could claim pretty much anything is acceptable if your criteria is just "here is 1 example of a influencer promoting it" Also have you watched the video? What is the tl;dr of her arguments?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:16 PM
18

I have had this discussion before and I dont agree. There is a big difference between saying "I am unhappy with the dating market and my life" and "I deserve a better life" I am not saying nobody claims entitlement but I see a lot of entitlement assumed in what, if taken charitable, is just complaining about a situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:46 PM
29

I don't see many people claiming they deserve a partner. I see a lot more people claiming that they see other people claiming it, but maybe I'm not active enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:11 PM
13

No. I asked how the claim that men absolve women of accountability and grovel can square with the high levels of harassment women face. I was hoping BrainMarhshal would expand on his point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:59 AM
10

How does this relate to the levels of sexual harassment and assault that we see?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:52 AM
1

Damn, you got to take it to another level to be actively known for it xD
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:50 AM
16

While there are cases of "white-knighting", mostly I see men responding to points they themselves think are invalid criticism, at least on this server. If someone claims, as an example, that women only care about a man's wealth, I would not step in to defend women but to challenge an assumption I think is unfounded. Im not overly bothered whether women are interested in defending men, I personally want to have views that are most accurate representations of reality and challenging ones I see as …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:34 AM
4

I dont think women *do* have "the upper hand" nor are they really valued more by society. Nor do I feel at the mercy of women particularly. But interestingly when you picture societies using artificial wombs to increase population who do you imagine caring for the babies and young kids? We already have strained care systems in most countries and there isnt exactly money sloshing around to fund them?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:25 AM
–

Yea I wouldnt be surprised if that was the case. It seems a sad reality for a lot of people that they just dont have the social connections and the emotional support that tends to come with it and there doesnt seem to be any good soloutions to it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:37 PM
–

Exactly. Also people used to spend a lot more time in the community because we didnt have the internet to distract us, people were less likely to be moving around much and a host of other issues. The modern institutions are just not as good at facilitating meeting people as they used to be :S
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:29 PM
2

As long as I found her pretty most of the other traits are either not an issue or actually positive, so while I couldn't promise either way I would certainly be up for having a partner like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:31 PM
–

I think it's true men don't often hold other men to account. I personally don't think I have been in an offline situation where I would have needed to other than choosing to engage on conversation with a drunk man who sat himself down on the train next to a much younger woman. I do think I genuinely respect others but that might go the extreme of never wanting to bother them. I personally like my space when I'm in public so I assume all others are the same, and if I miss out on possible connecti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:11 PM
–

I don't think many men would describe it as "yhe end of the world," but rather express frustration at the difficulty in finding ways to approach women in a world where a lot of the old social institutions that we used to connect within are gone. Men are still expected typical to be the one that approaches first. That has always been a tough thing to do but it's even harder now when so many people are lacking strong connections with other people or their community. I completely understand the dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:14 PM
1

Sure but that doesnt mean you cant find some enjoyment out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:47 PM
1

Thats your prerogative, but people can do what they like.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:46 PM
2

Yes, but people either dont know that or are able to look past it for the feeling of connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:16 PM
2

Well there is a level of personalisation that can come from OF. Paying for sex you are very aware that the women is not interested in you as a person but only your money. Also OF provides a different service to just paying for sex. You often pay for access to chatting, or a feeling you are looking into this persons everyday life. You can feel you are seeing the persons personality, even if its a constructed one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:14 PM
0

Are farmers exploiting peoples need to eat then? Are food companies exploiting taste to sell their food? These things are always a scale. I personally don't think selling explicit content, with or without a level of claimed personal interaction, is exploitative. It's selling a service to people who want to buy it. Yes there are a minority of people who it can really hurt, the same is true for basically every product or service. I don't think we should get the state to step in and ban it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:08 PM
0

Im not sure I agree with it being exploitation. Do you think that women, or men, shouldnt be able to sell nudes because its exploiting people who want to pay for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:00 PM
5

Some odd takes in here. As for why men do it? Some lonely men want to feel a level of connection. They either dont care or dont realise the connections doesnt really exist. Some men feel a level of artificial connection beats being completely alone. I do find the claim that the model "is swindling out of his money," is a bit odd. Most onlyfans creators are in the obvious deal of selling a service for money. Its not some back alley deal and men should be aware of what they are paying for. Some me…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:47 PM
4

That I think is much more likely to be closer to the truth, yea. Bullying can really mess you up and your ability to handle social situations
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:34 PM
5

But op's original point is the "majority of men who struggle dating were bullied" of men. So my argument is no, not the are are many other factors that might lead to people struggling dating. I didn't claim anything about whether it's harder or not for men who were bullied to date. I don't know why people are so keen to attribute arguments that weren't actually made in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:23 AM
20

I have experinced the oppersite. When I have tried to speak to women I put a lot of effort in trying to keep a conversation going but realised they wernt that interested in talking to me. A shame
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:47 AM
14

I agree confidence is a huge factor is being seen as someone worth dating but bullying is not the only reason people might lack confidence. There are also people who are bullied who go on to find confidence and/or a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:01 AM
2

I have never had any matches on dating apps and otherwise I tend to struggle to meet women. The fact you find it easy is not evidence that it is easy. I suspect that this is a troll/bait post which is preferable to being actually so selfcentered.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:29 AM
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I feel I have more in common with many women than I do with most conservative "fellow men." I also dont think being pro-women is the same as being anti-men, society is not a 0 sum game, nor is it the oversimplified world conservatives like to try to make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:19 AM
1

Probably not. Though it would depend on the specifics
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:13 AM
6

Not sure I agree with you. Some women might but I'm pretty sure family live existed even then. We know that with 20th century dictators, a lot of women were infatuated with them but proportionally a small number.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:51 PM
16

Are you implying that submitting to King Solomon was somehow not an unfair, tyrannical system? I think I'm confused by this post
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:34 PM
5

You do, its just not as strict as people often think. Studies show people will often lie and cheat *a little bit* to benifit themselves but do have limits. Also reminding people about rules or morality before experiments means people cheat or lie less.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:58 PM
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While it wouldnt be my ideal aethetic it is only one part of a persons apperance which is only one part of a woman in general. If she was a great person then this wouldnt be a dealbreaker. It is worth noting that on dating apps i would be more likely to pass on them, dating apps are very looks focused.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:55 PM
8

I think most people pick moral codes dependent on their preferences actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:53 PM
8

Depends heavily on the moral code. I think people doing what they want is often how we act and it works pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:48 PM
15

Well a world in which intimate relationships arnt stripped down to some simplistic idea of transactional payment and rewards.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:43 PM
88

Glad someone else dislikes the framing. If I have a partner I want them to have sex because they also want it. Not treat it like a way to train me or some reward for good behaviour. If I felt my partner was doing that I wouldn't want to sleep with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 12:31 PM
19

I see your point but I think both men and women should take a level of interest on their partner's pleasure. Good sex should not be 2 individuals just doing there own thing (unless that is your specific vibe.) but a activity between to active partners. I'm sure some women don't play an active part but why wait for them to have to say that their pleasure is important. By being proactive not only are you a better lover you seem to be a better person, isn't that a win-win. Even for purely selfish p…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 11:46 AM
2

A lot of points here (and my phone deleted my original comment halfway through writing) so I will cover them briefly. Firstly this seems to take the capacity for violence or force, which is A factor in society and treat it as the only relevant factor. In reality humans and human society is a hugely complex beast that relies on countless codified and implicit factors from social trust to rule of law. The idea that the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short in not really accur…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:06 AM
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It was a few jumbled points that weren't very clear. My main 2 were that I agree with you about how people often imagine men being approached as a sure point for success. 2 that while a lot of people are very bad and knowing if people are into them this is not a guarantee that everyone has someone into them. So people actually arnt desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:56 PM
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Do you think your homies you mentioned earlier would be different though? I'm not wanting to discredit your overall point. Yes we all like to imagine relationships just starting and working, but there is also a difference between people who incorrectly assume they aren't desired and people correctly assuming it. As I said in an earlier point, I often feel there is this narrative that "oh, someone definitely wanted you some time" but it's just a claim people assume to be universally true because …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 10:57 AM
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That's true. People often aren't good at knowing how others feel about them. You can also count the number of times I have been approached in public and has someone not reject me. 0 Though in your instance why did you not ask the men you liked? It seems the pressure is so much on men to act first that if they don't it's seen as proof they aren't interested, but they can struggle just as much to know if their feelings are reciprocated.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 07:42 AM
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True, but this already contains more problems than just looking for the cream of the crop. The framing I took issue with from op
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:26 PM
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Based of your friend group?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:36 PM
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Ok. I'm not sure that your small slice of experience is a large enough sample size to confidentiality describe the complexity and variability of issues people face dating (you even said yourself it might be cultural) But I have noted your view 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:26 PM
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Yes, Im not sure this encapsulates the majority of experience of women who discuss dating issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:20 PM
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I'm sorry, what exactly have they said?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:07 PM
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I think you vastly underestimate women's issues. It's not looking for "the cream of the crop" as you put it but trying to find people who treat them with respect, dignity and honesty. Women can get matches and messages more easily but if it feels a majority come from people who are willing to mislead In order to get sex then that's a legitimate issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:35 PM
6

Bare minimum of effort and get 5 matches? I put in actual effort and never got a match in years until I uninstalled the apps. Part of it is location, I live in a small town, but I don't know where you got this idea apps are like magic and just ensure some level of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 07:50 AM
40

People always seem to assume that everyone must have options, I assume because they do? Some people, men and women, actually don't have anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:37 PM
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Im sure there are a minority of cases where it happens but its not typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:28 PM
3

My parents split when I was young and both have remarried. My mum split because she fell in love with another man who is not my step-dad
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:04 PM
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So its interesting to cite a study then reject the claims of that study. The ok cupid blog is an interesting case of amatur data journalism but its claims should be taken in context of dating app and the broader trends are likely a lot less extreme. I also personally try to be careful with drawing narratives from data as its very easy to draw incorrect explanations and then feel confident about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:47 PM
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So being reported in a newspaper is not evidence that the underlying numbers are good representation of reality. The pew research study I believe you are referring to uses an interesting definition of single. Individuals who are seeing multiple casual partners, as is more common in homosexual men, would not be classed as single. So already we gave potential factiors that means we should take such claims with a pinch of salt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:21 PM
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So I am glad we agree it's not the Pareto principle. I would be interested in a deep dive if you have time. When you say the "widely accepted" I assume you mean "widely cited" as it itself has issues and would hesitate to treat it as gospel, which is partly my point that we should be more careful with nuance rather that throw around vague numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:19 PM
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Alpha male comes from a now discredited study of wolves in captivery because it's own author realised wild wolves dont act that way. However I was specifically asking for evidence of the Pareto principle being demonstrated in these instances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:43 PM
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So rereading your statement let me address it bit by bit. 1) Men make descriptive claims about society is which women assume are prescriptive claims about how should be. This wad what I originally tried to address. I think it definitely can happen that people (not only women) read more into statements than intended. However, I will point out some other factors. One is that people don't tend to state arbitrary facts in vacuum. If some states 80:20 dating stat it is to serve a narrative purpose so…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:00 PM
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I think that often, especially in online discussions, people read into statements more than the speaker intended. Also the speakers often don't actually say exactly what they mean. I don't think it's unique to women. I also don't think your characterisation if what women except for a relationship is accurately describing reality. Maybe an additional factor is seeing pushback as a rejection of reality when in reality it's there disagreement with your assessment of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:39 AM
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I'm wondering in which cases it has been proved? I looked Into this a while ago and found while there are examples the evidence often seems a lot thinner on the ground than is stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:19 AM
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It a problem both ways. Why do you assume I would support it if a man is ghosted? Everyone should drop a message if possible rather than leaving people in limbo
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 07:19 PM
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Lol. Ok dude
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:56 PM
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Why have you invented your own message and asked me to defend it when I gave you a specific example in an earlier comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:51 PM
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Because it draws a line under the situation and allows both peopel closer at the cost of... maybe 10 seconds? Like its hardly some herculian effort to be clear. To be clear I think it does help as it can mentally help the man set it aside though I think its more out of respect for the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:43 PM
3

So men should be understanding that women can feel threatened and be mindful of that but actully dont treat them any differently because they dont like that either? I understand your point but it does make it seem like trying to be conciderate was really a bad move in
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:38 PM
6

I mean, I agree with the last part. I think there many men feel they were taught that they are threatening to women and therefore to be careful but by trying to be conciderate end up being seen as weak or just ignored in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:34 PM
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Because being a good person is a reward beyond just a petty "well they wouldn't do it to me"? This seems a pretty immature stance to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:29 PM
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But In this situation you aren't t looking for romance, it's explicitly when a man wants to move on
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:58 AM
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Why is this better than being honest and saying "Im sorry but I dont feel I want to continue with the realationship. I wish you the best" It draws a clear line under it and provides some small closure
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:30 AM
5

Well yes, this subreddit does tend to attract the worst and most extreme people. I also think its ok to feel mad that you havnt found a girlfriend. Being lonley when you want a partner sucks. I think its more feeling like you are a decent person AND havnt got a partner, rather than being nice didnt lead to getting a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:13 PM
5

I personally dont feel I see many men claiming agreeability should only be used to as a garantee for sex or romance. More commonly I feel that there is an assumption that IF a man is lonley it must be either a) he had a bad personality or b) they arnt putting the effort in. While I dont know what the exact percentages will be there is also people who are trying, are nice but just not having any luck. Forming connections in your adult life when you dont have existing connections is HARD, really h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:46 PM
6

It's a good suggestion. I just had to vent because I was annoyed by it 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:09 PM
9

I find this really annoying. I think we should respect when people point out their difficulties. Men especially, though women too, can struggle with a lack of a place to express emotions so having them broadly dismissed is not great. I think both sides need to be willing and able to listen to the negative experiences of others. As long as it isn't actually a claim of entitlement but a legitimate discussion of pain why is it less valid than any other complaints from women, be is harassment, objec…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:59 PM
10

I got banned from it for disagreeing with a mod over whether chronic loneliness and rejection can lead to trauma. Which is disappointing. Maybe others have a more productive experience
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:54 PM
4

So data is just a collection of facts and statistics. A poll is a collection of such things therefore data. Incorrect or useless data is still date, it just can't be seen as reliable way to generate useful information.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:46 PM
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Yep, Online argument is actually not very productive. Shocking xD
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 06:30 PM
16

It is data. Just a single data point is not enough to draw large scale inferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:49 AM
2

For a day both genders would probably think it's a fine switch, it they spent longer people would start to realise the issues the other side has that they don't have to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:55 PM
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I would guess subconscious but it's hard to know. To be fair the guy may be ugly which makes dating harder but people often want to think it makes it impossible
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:51 PM
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Because of he is ugly then it allows him to not feel responsible. The failures don't become something he could change but an unchangeable fact of life
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:46 PM
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I don't think I ever said it was mens fault. My whole point is it's really isn't the fault of either gender. It's the results of many factors. Increasing in ease of moving, more fluid movement in jobs, lack of third places etc. It also seems like you imply that women have some duty to society to have kids? A lot of people want kids but face real issues like cost of child care. That's the areas to focus on
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:42 PM
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In what way are women acting entitled? Unless you mean entitlement to being a member of society?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:17 PM
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Well the difference is that government can provide shelter, food and water through taxation and redistribution if goods. The same can't be said about love and human connection
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:28 PM
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I was just checking. I agree that marriage has been seen as a institution for good, though I think more broadly it's a break down in meaningful connections in general. A reduction in partnership has hit men particularly hard at a time there done exist many other emotional support for many young people. As to what to do about it though, I am not really sure
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:18 PM
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I'm sorry, in what way was I acting entitled?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:12 PM
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So there is a difference between people having something and people having the right to something. It's true that people are less likely to have intimate connections but this isn't a loss of rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:23 PM
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Not everyone does the right to reproduce. It tends not need the consent of another person. We don't have the right to love or intimacy. It sucks but that's how it works
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:14 PM
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I'm not blaming men for anything really. There doesn't need to be a blame. I don't think women are acting entitled to men's help. Most people are just getting on with their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:38 AM
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But I dont believe thats whats going on. From my personal experince the main issue I have with women is the difficulties in meeting them and having time to form connections. There is no spite, or bad blood. Its just people have busy lives and limited oppertunity to meet even if they want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:11 AM
0

Are you refering to men talking about the issues of all men, or men talking about their own issues of being a man? I feel that if I try to talk about my own issues it is unlikely to get much response. Or the responses I get will be unhelpful at best and unpleasent at worst. I would also point out that many subreddits do have men posting their issues or explicity ban talking about being lonely to prevent it becoming common. So im not sure I agree that men dont talk about their issues. Checking th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:42 AM
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To share my personal experience. I do "everything I am supposed to do" in order to make connections, not just meet women, and so far it's not panned out. This is not because women are radicalised, it's because the social institutions in which we exist are different than how they used to be. The best way to form connections with people is time but for various reasons we often spend less time with others. I don't like how this post seems to have some entitlement, that if men do X then they deserve…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:09 AM
0

Exponentially huh? How long till it reaches 100% do you reckon?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:59 PM
3

Some people may do this but it's not something that will happen with every lonley person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:49 PM
5

I don't think being lonley is the same thing as wanting to strip women of their rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:17 PM
5

Thank you. I guess my largest disagreement, or perhaps add on, to what you said was the idea that people initially rejecting criticism MAY, not always, be part of introspection later where they are open to it. Men MAY also be more prone to loud, Vocal disagreement as they are socialised to be more confrontational while women tend to be taught not to be. This could mean men can seem more resistant to criticism when it's actually how each gender vocalises disagreement.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:13 PM
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Yes In that case It could well be rooted In entitlement. I'm not saying it's never the case only that sometimes entitlement is perceived where it isn't. As an example I recently went to a singles evening that didn't go well. I would say the women I spoke to "didn't give me much time" One could easily read that a claim that I deserved more from them when really it's my statement on what I felt. Women don't owe me any time, if at a dating event they look at me and think "nope" that's completely fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:59 AM
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I think the claim that you don't need to admit entitlement to have it is pretty obvious to most people. I also am not going to claim that there aren't men, and others, blind to their entitlement. I will say I sometimes see legitimate complaints read as entitlement. For example a man complaining he didn't get sex isn't inherently an entitlement issue. That's only the case if he claims he is someway owed sex. He might just be trying to communicate "I am annoyed at not having sex I wanted"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:48 AM
3

So are men unable to take criticism. Broadly yes, in a way humans are pretty bad at taking criticism. Our initial reaction is normally emotional, a knee jerk response to someone saying something bad about us is to fight back Vs it. Men might have a habit of being more vocal in their opposition to it, as men are typically socialised that way, but it's a common thing. I do think that just because someone initially, vocally disagrees it doesn't mean they don't reflect on it later. Especially online…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:44 AM
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This seems to focus only on the negatives of sexuality and desire. Many people, men and women, have hugely fullfilling lives with partners they love. It also seems to be a bit of an overstatement of how men act. Secondly some men desire for connection with women is really manifestations of loneliness in general. Being Aroace is not likely to make you immune from lonliness, or am i wrong. Lastly, as has been often pointed out already, sexuality isnt something we can change really. Saying men woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 08:44 AM
2

So this post touches on a few interesting and important things. Firstly when talking about ingroup and outgroup bias. It does exist, but it's also only one factor and form of bias. Just being a man is not enough to to mean a feeling of in-group with all other men. Race is just ONE example of a often confounding factor. Secondly the issue of personal agency with systemic level issues. I don't want to sound like I'm saying there is no point advocating, just that when issues are systematic then ind…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 07:19 AM
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Sorry, it's sounds like you are going through a lot. I personally don't have a problem appearing weak or discussing my feelings, I just find that talking with my family doesn't really seem to help much. They feel low or worried about me and I don't feel any better. You are right it's not sex, but it think it's more about connection than love.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:13 PM
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We don't need each other but it's ok to want other people. Connections can be mutually beneficial and enrich life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 05:10 PM
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Yes. To be clear I don't agree with theses claims. However people, especially online, often make claims they don't actually agree with and are capable of holding contradicting views. While its important to call them out it's not the end of an argument because someone made a hypocritical statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:22 AM
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While the contradiction mentioned above could be explained by: dark traid traits > looks > other personality triats In actuality I think it's a combination of a) there being multiple factors involved B) people often reducing arguments down to single factors for each discussion. Nuance is not handled well online. Also it's not guaranteed that the same individuals make both arguments. Mostly arguements come from an emotional place with the logic then kicking in to justify the emotional response.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:06 AM
6

As said by others in the comments this isn't particular to women advising men. Good advice, advice that actually helps someone improve their situation by following it, is incredibly hard to give at the best of times and is often influenced heavily by who is giving it and the circumstances. Online advice is at best vague and generalised and at worse harmful. If you actually want advice you need to find someone willing to take time to understand the specifics issues you face and that doesn't happe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 09:36 AM
3

Agreed. Advice from people on the internet is in general not particularly useful for people. When people don't have close connections it becomes trickier.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 09:32 AM
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Lol. It's not being a target it's just not getting bothered by things that don't matter that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:07 PM
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Well it shows you let the opinions of others affect you so much. If someone disrespects me I'm mostly of the view of "so what? Why should I care what people like that think"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:00 PM
5

As have marriage rates, to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 10:26 AM
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Some very weird rules here 2 seems to me to be more a sign of insecurity than anything else. If you are confident in yourself let others say what they want, who cares? 12 is just bizarre, is it some sort of performance to carry cash? Is intentional rejection of convenience or just posing to be different? A lot of the others are ok life advice, not specifically make centric. 4 workouts a week is also a lot for many people
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 10:05 AM
21

I didn't say childbirth, I said the access to birth control. Both men and women benefit broadly from the access to methods to prevent a child if that's what they choose. How is it a zero sum gain?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 11:50 AM
16

How is it a zero sum gain? Take access to birth control as an example
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 11:46 AM
11

Yep. There is a read difference what people say when they know someone well, and being able to get the "foot in the door" so to speak with relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:20 PM
4

Ok but I'm pretty sure most philosophies make the claim that they are looking into reality and accepting as it is, but they all come to different conclusions I guess I'm asking what the fire tennants of the red pill are, to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 08:18 AM
7

So what about red pill philosophy deals with this? I'm still new and mostly it seems focused on women and not interactions with work etc
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:21 AM
3

Yea she is an amazing writer. Its not hard to see why she is seen as one of sci-fis greats.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:18 AM
2

The doomsday book is the only one of hers I have read. I was browsing a bookshop, picked it up and it said something like "Willes has more Hugo and nebula awards than Asimov (and two other writers) combined" I was like 'how have I not heard of her. I have to give this a try'
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:17 AM
1

When so much advice is given of course you are going to see some people find it useful. When you say "it's been shown," do you mean there are robust studies or is this more a personal view?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:14 AM
5

Ursula Le Guinness is such a good author though I highly recommend The doomsday book by Connie Willis. I had never heard of her but she has won more major awards than any other writer apparently
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:18 PM
2

I find *almost* all the Classics to be a good read. Sadly I have only so few hours and so many books to read xD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:53 PM
6

No but I was referring to advice given by people on forums in particular. When someone is specifically giving advice to someone directly. As for your example do you think any of it helps? Maybe someone who is going to the gym already and wanting to improve but if given to someone not going to the gym its pointless. Even good advice fails if given at the wrong time or by the wrong person, and a lot of advise isnt even that good xD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:19 PM
3

Hows it working out? xD Though for real we would all benifit from reading more books.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:23 PM
15

Books are normally where I engage with womens perspectives Some of my books authored by women I have really enjoyed: Robin Hobb- Assasins series + Ship series Ursula Le Guin- Five ways to forgiveness, Left hand of Darkness, The dispossesed Connie WIllis- The doomsday book Agatha Christie- The murder of Roger Ackroyd + many more Charlotte Bronte- Jane Eyre Jane Austin- Pursuation Annabelle Marx- The rebel of 7th avenue Non Fiction: Caitlin Moran- How to be a Woman Bell Hookes- The Will to Change:…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:22 PM
17

Yep. They also dont tend to address the real difficuties people might have with these. I tend to use the example of people giving weight loss advice as "Eat less food." It technically true, but people arnt struggling because the never thought to eat less. Its because of emotional struggles with food, acces to food, diet knowledge or a whole mix of other issues. People say "Eat less" then pat themselves on the back for being super helpful. xD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:57 PM
43

As I often say most advice given online kinda sucks. Its overly broad and given by people who dont take time to actually understand the needs of the reciever. Good advice noramally comes from someone who takes time to understand your position and that doesnt happen in online forums really
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:25 PM
29

So I think men saying this don't mean "there are no levels of objectification I wouldn't want" but rather "there are levels of objectification that women may be unhappy with that men would be ok with" Many men might be ok, or even like, a woman catcalling them but not want a large group of women trying to touch him. Secondly, nonconsensual isn't the same as not wanted. Someone sending me money with checking with me first is nonconsensual but highly appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:38 PM
0

I don't think giving advice online often is a very productive process, but I think people should at least try to understand that there are lots of factors in people's lives that might affect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:41 PM
-1

I am struggling after dealing with mental health issues that lead to isolation. I'm currently starting to try and build connections but it's slow But my complaint was more about these oversimplistic narratives that are unhelpful in any case and can be actively toxic, not about my circumstances specifically
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:59 PM
1

So just ONE possible counter example. People working as long term carers for family members. People like this can often find it very hard to find time to socialise and report high levels of loneliness. Your narrative discountd these people as a legitimate possibility. And this is just one example of many possibilities that people's lives can be. I do not understand why people are so obsessed with trying to boil the complexity of human experience to such basic narratives
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:45 PM
1

It was a sarcastica, and probably unhelpful, comment but it was because of the massive simplification of your narrative. You have no idea the personal experience of people who you talk with online. While personal choice is always A factor there are countless others you simply can't know. I'm wondering do you feel women who suffer from loneliness (at a similar rate as men) are all likely there because they're personalities suck?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:39 PM
8

Ikr. It's like when young womrn are bullied in school and have self esteem issues. Just take self responsibility girl. Life is easy for me so anyone who struggles doesn't really have a reason to complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:26 PM
9

I hate these narratives. Never had a partner? It's because you have a vile personality. Mental health issues, neurodiversity, isolation, confidence issues, discrimination for any number or reasons or even just bad luck. None of these can be a factor. The only relevant reason is your mindset is toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:19 PM
4

It's hard without sounding vague or clichéd. The most important is someone interesting, smart and who can be open to me and with me so we are comfortable and happy communicating. I would like a level of physical attraction but otherwise it be listing positive attributes
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:19 AM
8

For me it would be living with a best friend. Day to day our lives are both working but at home simple things like chores become shared. House maintenance becomes a shared project rather than a solo one. Hopefully meals are shared together. We each have someone who can listen to the small grievances of our days. Every week or two we could plan at least one shared excursion or event together, probably on the weekend. We have done shared and some individual hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:10 AM
4

Its fair. I know it must be a hard thing to describe and its probably just closer to feeling than anything else. Thank your for the reply
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 05:07 PM
2

I disagree with the the whole creationism gist and, like many have pointed out. I dont think you come across as much of a feminist. Bit odd to focus on physical stength so much as a significant difference. I dont seem men as the provider/defender and women as damsels in disress.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:51 PM
4

If you don't mind me asking. If being a woman isn't about feminity, which is completely valid, what is it about?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:39 PM
1

Yes, just trying to get things to change is an exhausting and often depressing challenge. Every two steps forward is one step back. Its why I try to have sympathy with anyone suffering lonliness and when I see advice like above it annoys me. Not because its not well meaning but it just feels trivialising of a real issue in many peoples lives
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:54 PM
2

There can be multiple reasons. I myself AM attending events but it's a slow process. I also have had to work against social anxiety and other mental health issues. What I am saying is the advice of "just go to places" like almost all advice I see online, doesn't engage with the specific difficulties one might encounter actually doing it, hence the weight loss comparison
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:47 PM
3

Not at all. I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort. It's very worth trying but it is not easy. Both men and woman can easily struggle with loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:42 PM
7

The "just attend events." Is a classic argument that really doesnt understand loneliness or difficulties. It trivials struggle as something really basic. Its like telling people struggling with weight loss "just eat less," as if that somehow is magic advise they never thought off and other factors that make taking such advice difficult for people just dont exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:10 PM
6

Yea it really is. Sums up how i often feel xD
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:36 AM
23

Monologues are a name for it, I think. I dont think the majority of men will agree with them because men are a diverse group. Some will have simular feelings or experinces and some wont. I should mention the reason I think it often happens is humans seem to have a pretty common desire to be seen. It reminds me of the Orwell quote “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” When people dont feel they get their emotional needs met its natural they reach out via other mediam…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:02 AM
1

I understand why you might have that view its just a shame. We all function to a degree through stereotypes but it can be fustrating to be so obviously stereoyped.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:24 PM
1

Wow. Thats a hell of an assumption. Sadly not an uncommon one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:21 PM
1

Maybe thats why I dont identify as a man so much because women broadly ignore me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:19 PM
2

Do women feel a sense of identity being a women?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:46 PM
1

It's also how do men respond to emotions. I am quite willing to be open about emotions to my make friends but they don't really know how to help People often talk about men not opening up but just being open doesn't really seem to help much. They can say "I understand how tough it is" but it seems to.lsck something, maybe it's because we culturally expect women to be better at understanding emotions then their empathy seems more genuine? I don't know the answer
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:37 PM
1

It's honestly difficult because topic of loneliness, partnership and sex can get blurred, not only in discussions but also in how men feel I think part of the attraction of a partner for a lot of men is they are the most socially acceptable person to be vulnerable to
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:31 PM
5

I think there is a lot of truth in this. Despite being a man I don't feel much of sense of identity from it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:27 PM
1

I feel this is addressing a point I didn't make.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:25 PM
2

I dont think there is a negative trait it's good to carry. I was just caught of guard by your statement and wanted to explore it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:19 PM
1

I understand it was a generalisation but to a point to me it just seems wrong. IF we agree changing is hard then we have a legitimate reason people might have aspects the need to change. And my view is changing is hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:02 PM
1

Yes but I imagine what men say on dating apps isn't like "I only insult women" or link to other socials where they say a woman's orgasam is her problem. How men initially present to potentially partners and how they might be once you meet them seem like different issue. My initial reading was that men actively self sabotage when talking with women. Another poster claimed it might be closer to not being seen as appealing rather than being actively seen as abhorrent. Is that fair?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:42 AM
2

I think the main point that didn't sit right with me was the claim men sell themselves as shit partners with what they say . If the claim is many men arnt super interesting then yes I agree. But I struggle to see how men sabotage to the level original described.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:38 AM
1

If its very hard or impossible for some people doesnt that mean saying "And if you really think about it, there’s really no need for a single negative trait in a person" isnt true then?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:18 AM
2

So its mainly from dating apps? I sort of see where you might be coming from but I think dating apps and social media can pervert how people act. Maybe you have better experince of it than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:12 AM
1

I guess im still struggling to accept this. It feels like an exaggeration and not typical of the average person who is struggling with loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:59 AM
2

Sure but learning chess is generally easier than learning to change your personality and thoughts. When you advice simplifies down to "just do this good think" while not discussing any of the legitimate variables in peoples lives its not really useful advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:53 AM
2

I see, as it by what they say they reveal they arnt as good a potential partner as they think. I would be interested to hear a more realistic example
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:39 AM
0

I find the idea of a man saying "I’m better, I don’t hit women, I only insult them" slightly comic. Maybe I am wrong, you have been on this subreddit a lot more than me but I feel this strains the point of credulity. Do men really argue that they are shit but just less crap? Otherwise I broadly agree. It might even be more difficult because its not just the idea of being single vs partnered but competing with the stress of dating or changing their lives. If a woman, or anyone, is happy enough th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 09:40 AM
5

I cant tell if this is serious or not. Just dont have bad traits seems a bit like saying just dont make bad moves as a guide to winning chess. It technically true but not really useful advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 09:23 AM
–

I know the advice. The experince is still exhausting, I dont think bars are a place for me. Not unless I make some friends elsewhere first.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:50 PM
–

I understand where you are coming from but do you know how intimidating it is to go to bars/clubs when you dont know anyone? If you have freinds to go with then it a lot easier to manage social situations. I dont think its seems fair to say if someone isnt brave enough to solo head to bar or club then they are choosing to be introverted. As someone who has tried going to bars and clubs alone, they were deeply unpleasent expereinces. I didnt meet people and came away feeling more isolated. Being …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:40 PM
2

No. I understand the frustration. The issue is people tend to most easily find role models in people who seem to mirror them. In this case it's people who seem rejected by society and women. I don't know who would work best as role models, ideally someone who can talk about negative experiences with women and rejection but show how they have overcome that. Being ugly would probably be an advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:45 PM
1

I don't relate to them but or do I relate to Tom hardy or Revees. I'm just explaining why I think these celebrities don't work as role models
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:05 PM
1

But the provide the emotional validation people are Searching for. That's why they are popular. People want to be heard Sure they don't care for these people but the give the appearance to do so which is more than many others
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:44 PM
2

But do you think this is how they are perceived. Men who feel ignored by society being told "look at this popular famous person. You should model yourself after them" seems a mismatch. These people don't seem to share the problems that young men often feel. I'm not saying they aren't good people just their circumstances are too far removed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:42 PM
0

Well these men, even if the are vile, are addressing the emotional need of lonely young men. The allow their pain to be heard and validate there worries. I'm not saying they are good but you can't just swap these people out with doctors or professionals
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:15 PM
3

What's the role if a role model? If it's to Inspire and direct behaviour then it can't really be a faceless professional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:02 PM
4

The main issue I have with this is they are all, except Nick I think, young and great looking. I don't see how young men who feel isolated from society can idolise people who never seen to have dealt with the things they are suffering. It might be any celebrity sort of excludes themselves as an idol would be best someone who is also excluded from society but despite this functioning well
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:56 PM
5

I know very little about Clavicular so I can't comment on him. I agree that idolising Tate and others is mistaken, though I think it might be idolising or respecting what they claim they are rather than what they are. With respect to the specific claim of support Tate being supporting sex trafficking, a lot of men who support Tate don't think he did commit trafficking. They might be wrong but it does mean the can feel support for him while not blanket supporting such criminal behaviour. I am als…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:44 PM
1

Interesting. I find the opporsite. Maybe its because I used to be a very sympathetic person and thats dulled very quickly. I agree there is certainly trauma around. Chronic loneliness can really mess you up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:35 PM
5

When I say this I wasn't initially sure if it was a reason by a man or a woman. On this sub it could be either. The one thing I feel confident about is spending time on this sub seems to make people hate people more in general 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:48 PM
10

Something I see that isn't often said out loud, probably because it can make your side seem vulnerable is: most people want a loving partner and want to be loved in return. A lot of heterosexual men want to love and be loved by a woman and vice versa. I feel it's sad because it seems a lot of the arguments people make are coping for struggling to find the love they way. I do think men in particular struggle to process this more. Maybe it's due to social conditioning, maybe biology, maybe I'm tal…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:31 PM
–

So while I roughly agree im not sure how helpful it is. When in USA 16% of people say they feel lonlely or isolated ALL or MOST of the time its a huge number of people, even if % wise its not a majority. Also a report recently showed that sexlessness (not having sex in a year) has skyrocketed. "Sexlessness in the last year rose from 9% for males in 2013-15 to 24% in 2022-23. For females, it rose from 8% to 13 percent." Not saying having sex is the only imporant factor, of course, but it does sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:36 AM
4

I agree. The main issue is good advice is really hard to give. It takes knowledge of a persons specific situation which people dont really get online. Not really a male or female issue
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:37 AM
12

No that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that some men can be very willing to have sex with a woman who they also dont want to be seen as having sex with as it might lower their social standing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:40 AM
9

A lot of men are happy to have sex with woman who arnt seen as attractive, but wont want to be seen as doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:46 AM
2

Hmm. That fair if slightly depressing xD
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:40 AM
3

I'm curious, in relation to Op's question: Do you think being shy and/or a virgin is a turn off for woman in a way it isn't for men? (In general, of course)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:40 AM
2

Funnily enough I am aware. My issue isn't not being aware of opportunities, it's mental health and social anxiety
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 02:15 PM
–

I think any desire or want or hope comes with the capacity to feel hurt. I'm not saying we shouldn't love it desire things but we need to accept the vulnerability that comes with it. If you love someone then they can hurt you. If you want something then not being able to have it can hurt. For me desiring women has been a consistent source of hurt for my adult life. A longing that is never fulfilled. Mostly it's more of an ache but it can be more than that. In my time on dating apps I only ever h…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:27 PM
2

It's the deceptive nature that's disgusting. If you are just honest with people then people can happily do what they want. Though vile people like this always existed. Don't know if feminism really empowers them any more
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:25 PM
1

I seem to find it paradoxical that on one hand it seems like it should be the best time to be alive. Freedom for people to be who they want should be a great thing and lead to more fulfilling and honest relationships. At the same time I personally find it completely impossible, or at least near impossible, to do so. Growing up without existing in social institutions that typically helped people form connections has left me feeling isolated and trying to join them is a draining and seemingly frui…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 09:27 AM
–

Shame? No Sometimes I feel anger or grief over it but I dont feel shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 09:22 AM
–

I would. Honestly having a great partner would be awesome. No sex would be a bummer but it wouldnt be the be all and end all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:48 PM
2

Things aren't all black and white. People can want pity, or sympathy might be more accurate, while also struggling. This attitude is pretty much why I stopped asking for advice online. Why would you ever accept advice from someone who seems to have so little empathy for you? Not saying your feelings aren't valid or understandable but why would I think anyone who treats people I'm similar situation to mine as fundamentally a baby be the kind of person these people should accept advice from?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:18 PM
2

I would say this is a good example of why people don't accept advice much online. Yes people want pity, it's a pretty natural human response to pain, even in self inflicted situations. For things like depression are you saying depressed people don't deserve a degree of sympathy? Would you not agree you need to take time to understand a depressed person's situation before offering advice?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:09 PM
2

I could be described as an incel, I don't subscribe to incel ideology but I have never had a partner. I'm sure many incels do want to be seen as victims but what matters more is asking people to understand the pain. Regardless of what factors go into it pain from loneliness is very real. I see a lot of people try to give advice to people in similar situations and completely ignore this fact. If you want advice to accepted it then you need to understand the person receiving it. When giving advice…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:44 PM
2

That's my second point. I agree many people don't actually want advice, especially not from people they see as not actually understanding them. When someone is suffering from something anyone who tries to give advice while not showing they understand the persons suffering will not get anywhere. How good their advice is really doesn't matter
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:24 PM
3

I think that most people suck at giving advice and most people suck at taking it. Advice given online is almost always too vague to be much use. People who give it rarely take time to understand an individuals specific situation and often rely on general broad advice which even if it true is rarely helpful. Separately to that people only take advice if they are actively searching for it and it's delivered in a respectful way from someone who appears to actually understand the situation. So it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:17 PM
–

There are a couple of points here. Firstly I completely agree there are a large number of men who basically suck as partners, and possibly as people. Women in the dating world are faced with harassment and shallow or manipulative people and that sucks. Secondly there is the issue of rejection. I personally don't think many people have an issue with being rejected, some do obviously and can be toxic. However the issue is often either a lack of even being noticed or having a chance or chronic reje…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 10:28 AM
5

Yep, the institutions that we grow up in make deep connections harder to form. These things are just responses to people feeling lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 12:03 PM
2

I think women are less likely to have that instant desire but it does happen. Whether men *wish* they had it and whether they do is different. Im sure most of us would love the idea of a woman seeing us and just thinking "WOW" but in reality it doesnt happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:44 PM
10

I wish it was easy to just date likable women. I haven't even managed to date a bitchy narcissist one 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:12 AM
1

So there is no hard line between NEED and DESIRE. If I call sex a need it sounds like I think it's crucial for survival. If I call it a desire it sounds like an idle unimportant feeling. I think it's closer to the need/desire for companionship and social bonds. We can live without it but most of us don't thrive without it. With this in mind I will call sex a desire going forwards but please remember I don't think it's a trivial one. I think in modern times a lot of men, and women actually, feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:45 AM
1

But is that explained by cowardice or social expectations. You would agree men face more social pressure to be defenders and stand up for themselves, right? Isn't that likely to be a plausible explanation for why more men join the military?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:32 PM
1

That's a very specific definition. Do you think most men want to be drafted then?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:25 PM
4

I guess I agreed women are presented with A narrative about men much more than the other way around. I also think that women are probably, on average, better at it. However I think both genders can actually be very bad overall because to actually understand someone different to you is hard. While I think men definitely do need to spend more time and energy listening to women I want to caution against thinking that a public narrative about men and how they think actually tells us much about how m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:33 PM
2

I agree. I remember the first thing that really opened my eyes to how different women can see the world. It was "tropes vs women in video games" by anita sarkeesian. I realised "Hey, I played these games and I didnt even see them they way she does." I think its important to try to understand others but also accept the limitiations. Thats why its not enough to try and just imagine how others feel, we need to take time to listen. This sounds good but in another comment I see you saying "Women know…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:09 PM
3

Ok so there are a couple of points here. First the claim "women tend to be cowardly," isnt the sort of claim likely to be backed up by evidence. I dont know how anyone would feel confident in making such a claim as its likely to be riddled with personal biases. More importantly, in my view, is the second one "Men have invented more things than women." You arnt silenced for saying that. Watch Men have invented more things than women. Men are, on average, stronger than women. Male athletes outperf…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:02 PM
4

While I generally agree with this I think its actually a broader issue and not as cleanly linked with men and women. Empathy, really understanding things from another persons point of view, especially people whos lives experinces are markable different from ones own, is REALLY hard. Complete understanding might actually be impossible, all we can do is try to correlate our own experinces that we DO understand with what the other person is feeling. "Oh you have a sore arm. I Know what that feels l…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:47 AM
–

I didnt mean in person. I meant do you think any teacher wants to go through the proccess of teaching kids this and whats the overall gain?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:38 AM
–

Just ask a teacher to demonstrate this? Why? Whats the benifit of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:16 AM
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