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Gin-and-Elderberries Archive

View 3 posts and 39 comments by Gin-and-Elderberries on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I get it, it is an unpopular opinion around here. I think it's a very cultural thing- in my community, it's unheard of to get engaged before cohabitation. To do so would be considered hasty and irresponsible, even by my parents! But that's definitely not the case in most places.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 01:09 AM
7

Personally, I could never envision marrying someone without living with them first. I'd want to know how we work together cohabitating, and I don't think I can get as accurate a reading on compatibility when I'm just vacationing together or staying the night. Not to mention that where I am, rent is high and it's either living with him or roommates, living alone just isn't feasible. But whereas I would sign a lease with a boyfriend/fiancee, that's over in one year, so if we break up it isn't like…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/20 11:24 AM
1

Gray has no character, no interest. It can be done well but most of the time I find it boring and cold. Just moved into an apartment with a dusky purple living room and I love it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/20 03:39 PM
–

SO: what do you want to do for dinner? Me: Dinner's already in the oven. SO: What's for dinner? Me: Butternut squash mac and cheese SO: Did you know. That you're the best? Made my whole week. The way to his heart really is through his stomach
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/20 12:14 AM
1

Hey, everyone is different and likes different things, everyone feels comfortable with different things. If both you and your SO are happy with the sexual boundaries you have agreed upon, no one else's opinion matters. Especially not strangers on the internet. Being RPW doesn't mean being a doormat, or making yourself miserable for your partner's sexual gratification. It should be fun for both of you! And an indoor picnic sounds fantastic, with some candles and music... I'm going to steal that i…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 10:30 PM
3

That.... isn't the logical conclusion I was thinking of. In my experience, setting boundaries have looked a bit more like a healthy discussion between adults. If all parties are happy, great. If not, then they are sexually incompatible, and they must decide whether or not to continue the relationship considering that incompatibility. I'm not sure how paying a mortgage or feeding your children are comparable to this at all. That whole comment is a bit of a stretch, if you don't mind me saying.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 04:17 PM
3

First of all, those comments saying you should just suck it up and give him a blowjob or it's "your duty to be a slut for your boyfried" (seriously, what the fuck) are complete bullshit. You should NEVER feel forced to do something you feel uncomfortable doing, you are not a bad girlfriend for having boundaries, and if your bf is okay with it, that's all that matters. That being said, maybe you might feel more comfortable with giving oral sex if he first performs it on you? The equal exchange mi…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 01:10 PM
1

I love that idea. My first purchase once my first payment comes in is some pretty nightwear and a silky robe!
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 12:33 AM
1

Not for veterinary practices, unfortunately
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 12:04 AM
1

Yeah, you're probably right. I'll just keep it elegant but practical, and I will let go of my winged eyeliner only when I'm dead, lol. At least my face masks are all floral and pretty.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 10:13 PM
1

They're not supplied by my employer, so I can get whatever cuts and colors I want. Vintage underwear is a great idea!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 12:36 PM
3

See, this is the kind of comment I was looking for! I'm a little confused with all the "why do you want to look feminine, look capable" comments- as if looking feminine means I can't do my job? But thanks so much for the brand recommendations, I'll check them out. The wrap style tops definitely seem the most flattering. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 12:32 PM
5

They are, as long as they are studs. I definitely think a winged liner would help me feel more like myself!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:38 AM
1

I live with my fiancee so he knows what I look like in all states, lol. This is purely for me to feel more myself, since I love expressing myself through clothing. I love the idea of adding a tight under layer, I'll definitely check out Cherokee brand!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:37 AM
6

I suppose because it makes me feel happy. I could wear scrubs or sweats or whatever, throw my hair in a haphazard bun, no makeup, and it would be perfectly acceptable at work... but it would make me sad. I'd like to take what joy I can in femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:05 AM
6

I suppose it just makes me feel more like, well, me. I love dressing very feminine, not necessarily for anyone else, but because I enjoy it. I would never want to dress impractically or inappropriately, but I feel better and more like myself if I can express a more retro/vintage style, like I have some individuality, like I can express myself. It makes me feel better, and who doesn't want to feel better- especially at a time like this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:00 AM
7

Food! My Instagram is 99% pictures of whatever I've cooked, baked, etc. Since we're all hopefully staying in and going to the store as little as possible, it's a great opportunity to get creative in the kitchen.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/20 11:16 PM
15

Oof, I'm an outlier here- second date. I had been best friends with him for years, though, and there was romantic tension building for four months before we got together. I wish, however, that I had waited until it was "official," when we stopped just "talking" and became his girlfriend, which was about a month later. I would have probably been way more comfortable if I had waited, I was a bit stressed out about sleeping with a guy who wasn't my boyfriend (yet). Waiting for commitment is always …
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 12:52 PM
5

Honestly, this doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Either you're going to end up his plate, or he's yours. It's common advice on this sub not to move in together until you're engaged- I don't subscribe to this, personally, but I do advocate waiting for a significant time/commitment. To move in, maybe develop feelings, maybe not, just seems like a recipe for disappointment. I had a friend once tell me, regarding relationships- "if it isn't meant to happen, there's no way you can force it. If it…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 10:55 PM
11

Everyone is different, and everyone needs different things when their mental health is suffering. My SO (30) has also been diagnosed with depression, and while it doesn't normally pop in his everyday life, there are sometimes periods of time when he's consumed by it. It sucks, but it's not something anyone can really control. It sounds like your boyfriend is similar to mine in that he just wants to be left alone- but the only way to know is ask. Generally, if my SO is depressed, I'll give him a …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 12:52 PM
2

Yeah, my past experience gives me a fuller context in which to fully appreciate my current SO..... not that those with only one partner can't do this, but I feel like I'm all the more grateful and enchanted with my partner because I was once with someone who elicited none of those feelings in me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 03:00 PM
3

Lately I've been really into Paprika 3. It's less of a meal planning app, and more of a recipe storage database with meal planning functions. Pros: You can find recipes all over the internet and download them to the app. You can also write up your own. You can scale/convert measurements. You can build meal plans, menus, and grocery lists, checking off items you already have/purchase as you go. You have a "pantry", where you can write down what you already have at home, so you can plan groceries …
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/20 07:24 PM
1

You said you liked "spooky" stuff- do you follow Christine McConnell? She has this incredible vintage, goth, and extremely feminine style, and she makes so much of her own decor, she's incredible. Her Instagram and YouTube are big inspirations not only for interior design, but baking and fashion as well.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/20 11:49 AM
2

I'm surprised no one has mentioned lingerie yet. Investing in some beautiful, feminine lingerie might help with feeling more put-together at work- no one can see it, so it won't invite unwarranted attention, but you know it's there. I'm sure your boyfriend will appreciate it as well 😁
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 12:37 PM
4

If it's something that you want to do, absolutely do it, and don't cave to anyone trying to change your mind! I think that enthusiasm about sex is directly tied to love and respect. If you don't respect your partner, you're not going to want to have sex with them. I've been in two long-term relationships- with my previous one, I waited for over a year of exclusivity before attempting to have sex, but eventually I felt more like his mom than his girlfriend, lost respect for him. That's when I los…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/20 01:06 PM
9

Congrats on your engagement! I kind of had to "ease in" to femininity after years of jeans and t-shirts, so I kind of get where you're coming from. You don't have to be a perfect dainty delicate femme right away- it's a journey. When I was first getting into makeup, I would just do a BB cream, mascara, and tinted lip balm every day. Super simple and natural, no blending, all colors are just "my face but better." And it should feel like you're just wearing sunscreen/lip balm, which everyone shoul…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/20 02:08 PM
1

Congrats on the weight loss! Denim isn't insulting, but sherpa lining generally is, so you should be okay in the fall/spring. In the dead of winter, though, you'll definitely need a good coat!
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/20 03:00 PM
3

Oh yeah I learned that the hard way, lol. I get my leggings anywhere I can find them- department stores and big box stores like Target. However, I recently invested in a pair of Shapermint leggings. They are super high waisted, and have some shapewear in the abdomen. I saw their ads all over social media and they were having a huge sale, so I decided, "eh, why not." I'm not overweight, but sometimes I feel a little self-conscious in particularly tight/clingy fabrics. Gotta say, I'm a fan- they s…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/19 03:44 PM
10

As someone in the Northeast who wears skirts/dresses 90% of the time, that's totally doable! My usual uniform is a sweater and an a-line skirt, or a dress, black leggings, and boots. Those boots seem pretty casual, so I definitely think a denim jacket with a cozy sweater dress would be adorable. Add some delicate jewelry. My best tip would be to get REALLY high waisted leggings- if they don't sit above the bellybutton, mine have a habit of sliding down when I'm walking, and I have to stop every …
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/19 12:54 PM
2

I use Android "Clean My House" to keep track of regular chores, like cleaning the bathroom, washing the sheets, etc. You can set tasks to repeat (so it'll tell me every week, for example, to wash the sheets, or every month to clean the dishwasher). It also tells you when the last time you completed a chore was- no more "oh I think I did that the other day" when really it's been weeks! It's really helped me stay on top of regular household chores.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 12:50 PM
8

Fantastic! I made my potential future mother-in-law (🤞) some hand-knitted fingerless mittens, and she got me some LOVELY earrings from a local artisan, that are just my style. My first Christmas with my SO's family went well!
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 04:36 AM
2

Thank you so much for your kind words! And the ornaments took a while, but were fairly simple- slice up some fruit (I used 2 grapefruit, 3 lemons, and 3 oranges) very thinly, and pop into a 175F (80C) oven for about eight hours, turning every hour or two for even drying. I imagine it would be even easier with a dehydrator. Then, poke some holes through them, thread through some string/wire, and hang them on the tree! They look beautifully rustic and antique. All my tree decorations(sans lights)-…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 01:52 PM
2

This year I "didn't have time for Christmas." We had a death in the family, it was across the country, doesn't have any ornaments to put on the tree, I was busy with work, and I just wasn't much in the mood. Well, yesterday, I decided that I would make time for Christmas. I made some Victorian Christmas crafts, a popcorn and cranberry garland and dessicated citrus ornaments. They look like little stained glass windows with the lights shining through them! The most rewarding bit was when my SO ca…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 11:55 AM
6

Seconding the "go to a fitting" comments! A bra should HELP back pain, not cause it! Go to a place where they actually measure under your bust for the band size- if they measure your band size by going right up under your armpits and over your sternum, they're doing it wrong. That being said, it is a rather unfortunate truth that going braless is considered "unprofessional" in anything but the most casual of office environments. If you feel comfortable and confident doing so, great! You do you. …
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/19 12:46 AM
1

Hi, are you me at age 20? Seriously, this situation sounds pretty similar to a past relationship of mine. He would always just do what I wanted to do, and while at first it was kind of cute, it eventually became the reason we split. His passivity meant that if I asked him to do anything, he would say yes- even if he didn't want to (ex: I asked him if he wanted to spend Christmas with my family, he said yes, and spent the whole time miserable because he actually didn't want to come). Eventually, …
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/19 11:26 PM
1

I've found the "clean my house" app on Android really helpful- you can set tasks as weekly, monthly, etc. It pings you when chores are due, and tells you when the last time you did something was- no more wondering, "when did I last dust......?" You can keep track. It's a great tool, I've been using it for a year and built some great habits! I've also found it handy to break down rooms into days- I clean the dining room on Tuesday, the living room on Wednesday, etc. It helps break the tasks into …
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/19 02:38 PM
2

You've commented about work as if there are only two options- either work until 7PM and have no time, or quit working altogether. There is a third option- what about working part time? Working fewer hours will give you the time you want to tend to your home, but will leave no gaps on your resume, should you want to return to work. If you rely on your husband for a primary income, you can also have a little more freedom with finding something that you find fulfilling, regardless of how much it pa…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 07:13 PM
10

Now that's just unfair! Cooking for others is one of my favorite ways to show I care, whether that's for friends, family, or romantic partners. I really can't imagine NOT doing it for someone I care for. And I've been there, done that with the give and take- I'm very grateful to be with someone who appreciates my efforts and doesn't take me for granted.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/19 02:27 AM
11

Aww, thank you! I don't think I'm too unusual, though perhaps a little, since most women I know complain about their boyfriend's/husband's "man flu." But everyone needs a little care when they're feeling under the weather, and I'm happy to provide it :) Besides, I know I'm not unique- I was inspired my many of the ladies who post here.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/19 02:21 AM
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