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Gockdaw Archive

View 0 posts and 51 comments by Gockdaw on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Incredible. I live in Ireland and all through my school years I was told how discrimination is illegal on the basis of something like nine different grounds... Racism, sexism, ageism, etc. Apparently that applies everywhere EXCEPT in family law because there's literally a clause that claims a mother has a special bond with a child, so discrimination is okay on that basis.
/r/MensRights15/03/26 04:37 PM
38

That's one hell of a short article to cover ten men's lives ruined. Let's see over the next few weeks how much attention this will get in the press. I'd imagine it will be very little.
/r/MensRights15/03/26 10:13 AM
9

I found some really simple things helped a lot. Exercise is great. I won't go on about that because so many other people will tell you and I've nothing new to say on it. I used to grow some really basic stuff like tomatoes and I found that growing things brought me great peace. Having the turmoil of a divorce and not being able to source a hitman meant I benefitted a lot from being able to calm myself. Over the last few years though, I got really into growing carnivorous plants and mushrooms. Bo…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 08:05 PM
3

As someone who drank too much both to remember and to forget for over 30 years, I can tell you from experience that the drinking doesn't help at all. I gave up three years ago and it's the best decision I ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 07:28 PM
4

Only the very lucky among us don't have to find that out. I am totally sure that everyone here will back me up when I say it may seem like it's going to plan now but the time almost certainly will come when you disagree and then her claws will come out. Without telling her, lawyer up and get advice. You WILL need it sooner or later because when the shit hits the fan the system will be standing on her side.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 07:07 AM
7

I am very angry about how the whole divorce system fails to acknowledge and facilitate fathers. It's all aimed towards prioritising the relationship between the mother and kids at the expense of the father.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 06:43 AM
1

That's all too familiar! It's like reading a message from myself!
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 02:01 PM
1

That's a very valid point and it really illustrates how it's all about mindset. I only managed to stop drinking because I had stopped feeling like I was sacrificing something.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 06:54 AM
3

That line about "prolonged exposure to chronic conflict" is very well put. I'd like to highlight two things from my experience. Firstly, you, as well as your kids, have the right to not have to endure this chronic conflict. Avoiding getting dragged into it is a very important skill which I wish I'd learned earlier. Secondly, regarding the subject of self care, which OP touched on, I'd like to get a bit more detailed, again from my personal experience. If you drink or use any type of drugs, consi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 10:41 AM
12

You mean more than the court ordered presents deducted fortnightly from my bank account? If I was to be buying presents for the woman I hate enough to divorce, I think that would make me as two-faced as she is.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 09:57 AM
7

In Ireland, and I think it's on the basis of Europe-wide legislation, it is illegal to discriminate against a person on the basis of their gender, race, religion, sexual preference etc... I, like a lot of people had presumed these laws applied in all fields. They apply in employment, education and other fields but the law concerning gender is noticeably absent and does NOT apply in Family Law. As a result, the default is that the woman gets the children, is presumed primary carer, has to be paid…
/r/MensRights27/04/25 08:53 AM
13

I don't think that's fair. OP is telling you straight up how she can't avoid feeling. Her honest input is valuable. What I see here is that she, like everyone else l, has been programmed to have harmful expectations of men. She is expressing a desire to try to change those expectations.
/r/MensRights13/04/25 08:19 AM
12

Take your focus off the past and start worrying about the future. Six years is a long time and you need to stop dwelling on what was and prepare for what's coming. You need to start protecting yourself by changing your mindset and moving your funds. You know it's coming. With the least possible offence meant, probably the best thing working in your favour at the moment is that she thinks you're a mug and won't have any idea you'll start moving to protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 07:10 AM
3

Go easy on yourself. You've been through some difficult shit. You have said a few things there I'd like to throw back at you... You could have played it different. The past is done. Work on the future. It won't do you any good to wallow in shit. You SEE your issues. Move forward and don't look back. You have an addiction. Great it as an addiction and don't do it any more. Gambling is the worst of them. Your son WILL know the truth, so now is the time to work on making it the truth you want it to…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 08:36 AM
4

There are times we've all felt like that. Remember though, that's most probably because you've discovered how much of your life was based upon lies. I tried for years to convince myself I could make a shit marriage work but in the end, when she'd been around long enough to be entitled to live off me and live off the state, she tore all those illusions apart. It's not easy, but you need to rebuild. If you have kids, fight for them. Whether you have kids or not, get your head and your body healthy…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 08:00 AM
5

That sucks. You have been through some really hard times. It's going to get better though. The way I've started to think about it is that I have to play the long game. My world was torn apart almost five years ago but now, although I am still forced to pay the parasite maintenance, things have drifted (through a lot of consistent work) towards where I want them to be. My kids already know so well who really loves them and most of those people around us who all initially believed her and sided wi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 07:53 AM
-1

I'd guess Native American people might have a different view. I guess to them, all "Americans" who originated from outside the continent would be immigrants. I'd be really interested to figure out WHEN and HOW Americans whose families came from other places feel the change from one category to the other happens.
/r/MensRights04/04/25 12:57 PM
0

I'd guess Native American people might have a different view. I guess to them, all "Americans" who originated from outside the continent would be immigrants. I'd be really interested to figure out WHEN and HOW Americans whose families came from other places feel the change from one category to the other happens.
/r/MensRights04/04/25 12:40 PM
2

I'd guess Native American people might have a different view. I guess to them, all "Americans" who originated from outside the continent would be immigrants. I'd be really interested to figure out WHEN and HOW Americans whose families came from other places feel the change from one category to the other happens.
/r/MensRights04/04/25 12:40 PM
14

As a non American, it intrigues me that you make a distinction between 'founders' and 'immigrants'. Wouldn't all people not born in the US be immigrants?
/r/MensRights04/04/25 06:42 AM
17

Many of us have been where you are. Yeah, it's depressing. Go through my posts and you'll see I've been as depressed as anybody but I'll tell you what's important... You'll get over it. It WILL get better. ...but it won't get better by itself and it certainly won't if you spend your time in bed when you don't have your kids. Get your ass out of bed and show your kids and your ex that you are going to come out on top.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:32 PM
4

My advice, with the heads up that I am recently divorced from a toxic marriage, is that if you feel you have to ask, don't even entertain the idea. If you have any doubts about her, don't. If she won't agree to what would happen in the case of a divorce, or if you feel the two of you couldn't have this awkward conversation, don't. If you haven't known each other long, don't. If she's got more red flags than a communist march, don't. If she has unexplainably negative relationships with her family…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:22 AM
1

The freedom?! It would be hard to overestimate the value of waking up every day having to interact with someone who, when they're supposed to be the one you turn to, are the cause of all your stress. Since parting ways I've gone from someone who drank wat too much and never exercised to someone who hasn't drank in over two years and who exercises almost as much as I should. My favourite quote on the subject is (I have just discovered, apparently NOT attributed to the Dalai Lama), which says "Hol…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:16 PM
1

Thanks! I guess you can detect I'm still bitter, but what can be expected after enduring such shit for so long?!
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 11:54 AM
1

PRECISELY. If there was a way to upvote x 1000 I'd be doing it now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 08:59 AM
6

Four long and painful years. I live in Ireland though so everything is broken and shit. Also, my ex wanted and still wants things to be stuck in a state of never changing, because she's a parasite and it was always her plan to live off divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 08:58 AM
-1

You're the only one up on your high horse about it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 04:59 PM
-2

It's a joke. Lighten up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:07 PM
-1

As I often say, if I ever find I miss my wife, I'll just reload and take a better aim.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 09:44 PM
7

You are questioning the whole point... ... Your kids are the point. Keep fighting for them. Even if you don't get what you want they will see that you are still fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 04:47 PM
3

Hilarious! A lot of other people might be shocked at that behaviour but not us on this sub!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 04:40 PM
11

As you said yourself, do NOT use any substance. Your future self and your kid needs you to be on your AAA game right now. Keep your head straight and make a plan. Don't let her know until you know what your plan is. Have her removed from your insurance policy. You have given some indication of how crazy she can be. Don't rule anything out because it seems too crazy and don't underestimate her. Tell as few people as possible. Mostly, remember, the legal system is designed to suck everything you h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 10:26 PM
5

Take a step back and look at the things you've told us. SHE can't forgive YOU for how you reacted to her going behind your back? This is classic gaslighting and sure sign she's an accomplished manipulator. One conclusion you'll come to in your own time is that once the trust is gone your relationship is over. Until you do you will continue to cause yourself stress. The reason you feel like an idiot is because a large part of you knows all this is true. It will only get better once you stop allow…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 06:49 AM
8

Nope. You got the wrong sub with that question buddy. The only looking back we're doing around here is in the rear view mirror.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:31 PM
3

Respectfully, I would totally disagree. If it wasn't for my kids I would have just upped and moved, leaving her behind. If your kids are important to you, as mine are to me, make damn sure they know you are fighting for them. I have been fighting for mine for four years and I have only just achieved 50/50. My kids KNOW I fight for them and they love me for it. I will continue to fight for them and spend every cent I have to maximise the time they are with me. I could not bear to abandon my kids.…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 12:40 PM
1

Learning to let things go is probably the most important lesson people in this situation need to learn. Ideally we'd be able to view it as a period of change allowing us the opportunity to alter our futures in the ways we want.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:14 AM
2

Of course she is talking shit about you. My wife walked almost four years ago and, in hindsight, it's easy to tell she was talking shit about me to a few people. A lot of the mothers at school would look at me sideways in disdain back then but this is one of those things time WILL actually heal. Four years later and they've all forgotten how they believed her and they have come to see us both for what we each really are. In a strange way, this shit actually helps us. You'll see the people who wi…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:53 AM
7

That's good advice. I found out too late that while it's tempting to vent, people really don't want to hear that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:35 AM
5

Sarcasm etc will irritate the judge. Irritating the judge is a bad idea. There are two ways this could go... They wind you up on purpose so you do something dickish. The judge sees you being a dick. That's their plan. Or, THEY act the dick and the judge sees you having the maturity and self control not to jump to the bait. This can only serve you well. I would suggest the closest you come to being a dick is being over-polite and every time they are acting the dick to you, ask for clarification.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 09:45 AM
1

AHH! That's very different. You'd want to watch out that you're not falling into well laid traps brought about by manipulative language. That shit's all too familiar to me. Manipulators really hate when it's pointed out to them, so make sure to ask her, every time she says it, "By 'free time' you mean when I am working, right?". Be calm about it, but do it EVERY time. I would have to say, you don't seem like you're in a place where either of you are working towards making things better. Think ab…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 11:45 AM
7

A big red flag which jumps out at me from what you wrote is that you have an 18 month old, yet you have free time. That would make it seem you are not pulling your weight. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just how you phrases it but shit, if you tell ANYONE who has had a child that you have free time with a kid that young, you are sabotaging any argument you have. Having an 18 month old is a very, very difficult time too, for both parents. It's no mistake sleep deprivation is an effective torture. You s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 06:49 AM
3

I'd be better if she had some sort of fatal accident, preferably the type that involves a long and drawn out painful death but I'm doing a lot better than if I was still with her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 04:36 PM
3

Thanks. I'm actually a bit jealous you got through all the difficult divorce stuff already. You shouldn't feel there's any pressure or any need to get into another relationship. Spend some time enjoying your own company.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 09:54 AM
7

I was completely in that space for a long time and MAY just be coming out of it. I was four years from when my wife left and I realised I'd been in a sham marriage for five years. The short version is "Asian gold-digger looking to live off a husband and social welfare system for life". That fucked me up pretty bad, having to accept I'd been a mug, suckered so easily. For a long time that left me not wanting to ever have anything to do with women any more. Like you, I missed the family dynamic, e…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 06:43 AM
4

I'm yet to hear of a divorce where the "strong independent woman" doesn't still want maintenance and half of what's yours.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 09:51 AM
5

Pay her own bills? What sort of utopia is it you live in?
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 07:17 AM
5

Shit! That's got to have caused you some serious trauma. I don't think I'd ever get over that. The only positive that could come out of that is that you've probably become so much more conscious about making sure to be a better Dad.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:15 PM
15

Punches my kids. She's that nasty that she used to punch me when I was asleep. What disgusts me is that social services are fully aware that she has hit my kids several times but they prefer to leave them with her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 08:39 PM
1

Get yourself a good solicitor. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst because it can get very nasty once the gloves come off.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 09:47 PM
1

It's nice to hear of someone doing well for a change! 😁 Best of luck with it!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:36 PM
1

I hope you are alright. Are you on top of making sure you're going to come out of this in a fair place? I mean in terms of getting enough time with your kids if you have any and not being fucked over financially.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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