TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Grouchy_Land895 Archive

View 11 posts and 53 comments by Grouchy_Land895 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Please also do not let her know this upset/ got to you. That’s what she’d love.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 11:16 PM
1

I keep hearing this comment about female alcoholism or AUD. What is this theory (or fact) that women are somehow in a “worse” position when it comes to drinking problems? Why?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 04:07 PM
3

It would help me because she would cover 50% of the rent and all of the other expenses. We used to live in one household with two incomes. Now it’s two households with two incomes. Money doesn’t go as far. But yes, it would likely be a disaster. Having money in a drunk house is not good for me or my child. It just sucks that me doing all the right things doesn’t land me in a better spot. But I’ll keep pushing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 07:26 PM
2

Thank you. It’s really the hardest but also the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 07:10 PM
3

Yes. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Two dysfunctional parents is exactly what we’d be returning to and that’s not going to work. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 06:45 PM
1

I am willing to wager there are a lot of guys who watch more than thy normally would just to escape.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 05:17 AM
1

He’s 54 so 10-15 younger is 40s not 30s. And I disagree with your advice around a person never married or no kids. I’d steer clear of that if I was married before and even more so if i had kids. It’s not nice, but I’m not running an equal opportunity dating site. I filter those people out because 1) if you’ve never had kids, you don’t get being a parent. And you cannot relate. I don’t care what you say. And less so but 2) there must be some reason everyone passed on this person if still single i…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 06:34 PM
22

I see a lot of posts saying “you don’t see men making statements like this”—I believe that is because men who leave their women don’t come on Reddit to blast it for reassurance. Women need to hear support for their decision whereas a man just does it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 04:15 PM
28

What part of this is an “emotional” affair? If she told you she made out, safe to assume she’s banging this dude.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:16 PM
2

Not sure what this adds but I’ll share it anyway. I’m 57. When I was 18 my mom left my dad and my brother and I to marry a man she had an affair with. It absolutely destroyed our family. For a very long time I resented her for it. When I was in my 30s she admitted it was a mistake and wished she could have got my dad back. He wouldn’t take her back. My mom did exactly what you are describing, left her family for her own happiness but in the end, she wasn’t happier and divorced her second husband…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 02:10 AM
7

It’s over, friend. I really hate seeing my fellow men pleading and begging to their STBXW to stay married. Why would you want that? She doesn’t love you anymore. It’s hard to hear but you gotta move on. She doesn’t deserve you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 07:12 PM
2

Dude, you still have a purpose, it’s your daughter. If she’s going to parties with her mom then I’m guessing she’s still pretty young. You have a job to do and it doesn’t end at 18. You’ll find someone romantic by taking care of what is in front of you when it’s your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:11 PM
1

King all the way. Same as all state, not going to always be single, kids come in and I have two big pups. Side note: if you haven’t bought a mattress online lately, it’s kinda crazy. They shipped me a box that was about 6 feet tall and 5” all around and when you unbox it pops out and over 24 hrs expands to a full size king or whatever you order. This is how they ship quality mattresses now. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:21 AM
1

Right. She has relapsed again and I am afraid of hurting my kids because they think she’s sober. I know it’s a lie. I’ve seen daily changes at liquor stores. I confronted her and though she wouldn’t admit it, she pretty much told me she will continue to drink and doesn’t want my interference. That’s fine up it impacting my child. I don’t know that she has a leg to stand in claiming spousal support. I have the child. And I also pay bills for my adult child while he’s in school. And I’m fine with …
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 02:11 AM
10

Cheater. 💯
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 01:29 AM
2

Mine is taking so long I’ve already processed it as done mentally a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 11:16 PM
5

This is the worst advice possible. Children are well aware when their parents don’t get along and are better served being with two happy parents separately than two upset parents together.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:23 PM
2

Yeah, I have talked to him about that and he says yes, she owes it to me but getting a judge to order it when she’s not working would be tough. However, I do think it would either cut drastically or eliminate any claim for spousal support since they would kind of cancel each other out. I have custody of my daughter because my STBXW is an alcoholic who has driven drunk with her in the car.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 04:09 AM
9

Did she ever work? I’m in a similar position in that we were married 23 years and she worked for the first 20. My lawyer says they will impute an income for her based on work history and salary levels. She earned slightly more than me when working. I’m hopeful. I have custody of the only minor child.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:46 PM
3

$1,500 per child a month. I now only have one minor.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:34 AM
1

Thank you for the reply. I’m so afraid you are right. I’ve got my minor and my 20 years old is leaving for college in 2 months. We are all so heartbroken over this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:59 AM
3

Thanks so much for the kind advice. I figured that the answer is just getting my kids out and finalizing the divorce. It was therapeutic putting it all down into words and numbers. The hardest part of this is watching her throw away such a wonderful life. Breaks my heart. My kids are both so amazing and deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 08:08 PM
1

Honestly, I am paying child support to the amount of the legal calculation per CA law. My STBEW is trying to get spousal support from me. The issue I have with that is that she has worked for 95% of our entire marriage. She quit her job and according to my attorney that makes her ineligible. She made more than me. And now wants to sit at home and collect from me. So she can sit around and drink. I’m not OK with that. So we are going through litigation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 08:14 PM
4

2+ years since you’ve kissed a woman? Is that with you working it and going on dates or just sitting back and catching whatever falls into your web? Seems low if you are actively dating. I have no idea.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 07:06 PM
1

She has always made about the same as me but in the last 10 years she made more than me. She didn’t quit her job due to the divorce but instead she quit three years ago due to stress at a job she held for 5 or more years. The only reason I was OK with her decision was that her parents offered to make up the missing paycheck by giving her money each month equal to what she was making previously. We couldn’t survive without that help. And now she wants to take half of my paycheck because her paren…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 11:18 PM
7

My wife is trying the same in CA. Only she quit her job 3 years ago because her parents are wealthy and said they’d pay her salary until she finds a job. So here we are three years later and we’ve been living separately for the last two years. I never would have agreed for her to quit her job with no help from her parents. We can’t afford to live on one income. Never could. Am I going to be screwed due to the three year look back? My attorney wants to have her do a vocational test to prove she’s…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:50 PM
1

LOL—no. It’s not.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:59 PM
1

If that weren’t the case you’d have every marriage with two incomes and divorcing, one partner quitting their job to take advantage of the other.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:55 PM
2

That’s only true in a situation without two incomes throughout the marriage. Not my case.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:53 PM
1

How old are your kids? They didn’t step up to say the accusations are untrue? Are they really small?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 07:15 PM
1

Best news I’ve heard in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 05:29 AM
3

I should add that she earned more than me when she was working. And her skills are much more transferable than mine.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 09:25 PM
2

Thanks. How likely am I to get a favorable decision from a judge if the vocational test shows her as being able to work? Is it a common occurrence they’ve seen many times before?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 09:24 PM
1

This is all great advice. I plan to meet at least 3 before choosing. Meeting all in my area wouldn’t be possible as I’m in LA—too many divorce lawyers. I’m hearing a whole range of quotes per hour. From $200-$800. But at the end of the day the cost still depends on how quick they can get it done. I get what was said about not letting an attorney take all my money. I plan to be frugal with how I spend my time but being my attorney, I’d have to disclose my income and assets so can’t really hide th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 06:18 AM
5

Yeah dude, fuck her. You only need to coparent with her. Move on. She’s out and you have a ton of untapped opportunities. I’ll give you some advice on dating apps, Swipe right if they are acceptable (and in your league) and don’t spend your time writing a long first communication. After you get some matches then read the bios to see if you are interested. A good profile is key. That’s your first impression. Be witty, funny and interesting in the bio.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 07:28 PM
1

She’s been to rehab 6 times in the last year. It’s bad.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 05:28 PM
1

That’s interesting. I do have a lawyer but I’m losing confidence in him. And he’s not cheap. She’s also an active alcoholic which should also play to my advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 12:21 AM
5

I am also going through divorce in CA, married for 23 years. My STBE worked the entirety of our marriage except for the last 3 years. She quit her job because she was unhappy. I don’t make enough to solely support our lifestyle. We survived financially because her parents said they’d pay her salary (gift) every month until she found a job. No one expected it to take more than a year. Is there any court consideration in a situation like mine? It doesn’t seem right that she worked for 20 years of …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 05:00 PM
–

Thanks so much. I found her online. I’d say I’ve already sunk nearly $20,000 into this divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:13 PM
1

This is exactly the advice I’m looking for. Of course, I expect to pay more if I earn more. But this seems like robbery. Oven employed him for at least 5 years. And my patients is running dry.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 10:50 PM
0

Sorry. Not my experience. My wife and I fucked like rabbits throughout our marriage. And we were married for 22 years. There’s no fantasy I haven’t explored. Let me know if you need some tips.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 04:29 AM
-1

I don’t buy into “the modern western” mindset. There are plenty of women I’ve been with that thoroughly enjoy sex. Maybe it’s your skills that make it unpleasant for her. I’m not trying to be rude. Or it just may be you two don’t have matching libidos.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 11:37 PM
1

Before I intervene with child custody motions, does anyone think it’s worthwhile to try to get her family involved? If maybe they could convince her to go back to rehab? But sadly I know from experience it only works if you want help.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 06:56 AM
1

The positive here in what I’m reading is that final divorce settlement including custody are still undecided. We had a hearing scheduled for this Friday but she and I agreed to cancel it while she was in rehab. But now that she’s out, she’s back on the bottle. And she has 0 interest in quitting.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:57 AM
1

Thank you all for the feedback. I think it’s clear that I need to get my 14 year old out of the situation. My 19 year old can do as he chooses. I live in a very expensive part of the country and I’d take them both if I could. I worry less about my son because he’s barely there away at college. I have done some research and in my state, driving intoxicated with a minor in the car is a felony. I think the courts will take the concerns seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:46 AM
1

Whoa. That’s scary, man. What state?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:18 PM
1

I would never forgive myself if the got into an accident with my kids. I think better to err on the side of caution. But went to hear others opinions.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:17 PM
1

With all due respect, I think you are wrong on sober-link in my state. I’ve had 2 attorneys with several decades of experience say that is the route. You may be right that it would only be for visits. And as far as proof, my kids are old enough to testify. They are very aware of her daily drinking and that she drives them intoxicated. If she can prove she isn’t drinking when she drives my minor child, then by all means she can do it. I would have no issue. When there are minors involved, I belie…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:07 PM
1

UPDATE: She made it in rehab for 3 weeks, came home on Thursday. My daughter just called me to tell me my STBXW is already back to the bottle. So any hope we had of her staying sober is dashed in only 2 days.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 03:22 AM
1

Fair question on the debt. I didn’t want to sidetrack my post with the details but since you ask. When we got married neither of us had much in terms of assets or salary. So she volunteered to pay the bills. Well, 20+ years into our careers and lives, there’s much more to manage. It happened slowly over about the last 12 years. It’s about half secured loans and half revolving debt. I knew we had credit cards but I wrongly thought we paid off the balance each month. We sold our marital home in pr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 05:29 AM
3

Thanks for your reply. I can see what you mean in the similarity with religion. Although I am not doing any post-rehab support like AA. Anyway, it is a bit like I want to share this amazing thing I’ve found. But instead of god it’s a new way of being. I’m following much of the advice of r/recoverywithoutAA. But I wouldn’t knowingly do that to people. But thing I see differently here is that her drinking has also progressed to unsafe levels. And it’s had an absolute effect on 1) family relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:39 AM
5

LMFAO. . Do NOT open with this advice. In fact don’t close with it either.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:11 AM
7

Agree. They all suck. I’ve done tinder and hinge. Definitely more scammers on Tinder. But I haven’t had any luck on Hinge either. I may try bumble next but I’m not getting my hopes up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 01:18 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter