GurSpecialist9176 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Thought my situation might be different, lol.		GurSpecialist9176	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/25 08:28 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	How long after divorce you felt like you are yourself again? Hopefully therapy will help. One thing it did for me was to kind of help me process it almost as a death. Like the person I thought or wished I was married to, she had to be mourned like she died. Once I was able to process that, now I’m pretty good. I can’t even see her as a romantic partner anymore. I don’t know there is a specific time for something like that to happen, but for me it was about a year. At the beginning, I definitely had similar feelings to you. Yearning for companionship, for …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/26 04:06 AM
3	Four years out of winning my divorce and I cannot find peace. I’d echo some of what others have said. For starters, you’ve gotta work on you. Get that self esteem up. Beyond that, honestly you have to figure out how to stand out in the dating scene, because it suuuuucks out there. I’m like you, tall, think I’m decent looking, good job, have my shit together. And just getting on an app and sitting there doesn’t do anything. Honestly hinge is the best app because it lets you show some personality when you like them. Don’t just like a dumb picture and hope fo…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/26 11:46 PM
5	How am I supposed to be expected to just give it all up? Like a lot of us, I was in the exact same boat as you. When she says she’s done, you scratch, claw, try to fix it. I’m sorry I know it’s hard to hear but you can’t fix it. So you pivot and try to give her what she wants. That’s a mistake. And as you process things you’ll realize that. I was in the same boat. She’s saying she wants this and that and all these things and dopey me was like, yeah ok initially. But once you shift and start thinking about yourself and the life YOU need to provide your…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/26 03:24 PM
5	Glad there is some support here I’m probably going to say the same thing alot of these guys are. But I was in a very similar place one year ago. My advice is to just work through understanding it’s over. Once she’s made that choice, she’s done. It sucks, you won’t sleep, you’ll want to find the perfect thing to say or do to change her mind. But you won’t. But if I can offer any solace or advice. If you aren’t medicated for anxiety or depression look into it. I wasn’t prior, but it definitely helped. Also therapy. Don’t leave a…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/12/25 05:44 AM
7	Men who divorced with kids — how do you feel now? It’s our first Xmas divorced. We were separated last year but still did Xmas together for the kids. Divorced shortly after the new year. As far as the divorce goes, yeah you’re going to have ups and downs, so are the kids. But the best thing you can do is get as healthy as you can possibly be and prioritize them, especially right away. They’ll see that and they’ll be ok, and it’ll probably even make your relationship even better with them. Marriage is a two way street. I see alot of people basic…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/12/25 08:29 PM
1	Advice on leftover syndrome I’m in the same boat man. Been divorced 5 months. Just told me she’s been dating someone “a few months” and told the kids. He just got divorced for the 3rd time. I’m struggling with it, but we just need to realize a few things. We don’t need to match them. Taking time to figure ourselves out is more valuable than jumping into the next mess like her. The next thing is, is realize the kids feel more similarly to us. So it’s important to be there for them. I had a conversation with my kids about it…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/25 06:58 PM
2	Feelings won't go away Man I’m in a very similar spot. Together for 18 years. Divorced now 5 months. She’s moved on. That hurt. I’ve tried but I’m not ready. I just don’t have it in me to get to know someone else yet. I think that will change with time. For me when I think back, I tend to miss the good times and the love. I think it is important to keep aware of what was wrong with the relationship as well, both her issues and mine. We can’t fix their issues, we can only fix ours. We just need to focus on getting ours…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/25 06:35 PM
2	Shocking trends with women and divorce I can’t speak for other men but I certainly don’t. So don’t question my honesty. And when over 70 percent of divorces or woman initiated, that tells you more men are ok with their situations than women. Obviously everyone has issues, but this is a big one, specifically in my personal experience.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/25 12:27 PM
1	Still in love with her Sorry you’re going through this buddy. Fault is a two way street. For everything we did wrong, she didn’t have compassion and understanding. For all of the good things we did, there was always something bad that was a bigger deal. It’s important to give yourself some grace, even if you could have done things differently. Because so could’ve she. As far as still being in love with her, my guess is you’re in love with what you used to have or think/thought you had. I’m realizing that myself. I thi…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/25 03:59 AM
1	First nights without the kids Yeah that’s tough for sure. Much like most people are saying, finding ways to stay busy is key. Projects, exercise, gaming with buddies. I’m 4 months out and the first couple nights each week without them are quiet and sad. It’s just the way it is. It does get a little better. You do start trying to embrace being alone. For me I had never been alone as an adult. Never had periods of my only responsibility being me. There is some beauty in being in that situation. Learning to kind of embrace that…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/25 03:42 AM
2	The “first time” after divorce Man mine was about the same situation. Together for 18 years, about 2 months post divorce matched with a gal in a similar situation. We got together and my shit just wouldn’t work. Still had fun, her for sure, and it was good to at least get that first post marriage fling out of the way. I think it was my body saying I’m not ready. I’ve worked through that and have realized I’m really not interested, I’m much more interested in my own freedom, not going back and forth with some small talk horses…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/25 03:28 AM
13	Shocking trends with women and divorce For one, I’m convinced social media is a large contributor. Women follow so much bullshit, and they fail to realize that these amazing people and relationships they’re obsessed with are cultivated and only show the good and the fun. So that’s what they expect for themselves. So if they aren’t getting it, find a side piece that is new and exciting and hasn’t gotten to the bad parts yet, they bail on their marriage. Seems to be the pattern. Also in my situation, I think having young kids, 5-12 in …	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/25 03:20 AM
2	Thought my situation might be different, lol. Yeah agreed. I think anyone early on in a similar process could learn a lot from situations like mine. While I’m still pretty sure nothing physical could have been going on, I now am pretty sold on at least emotional stuff going on. But who knows. Maybe that changes too. The point is, everyone says a woman doesn’t move on until she’s got something else lined up. I wanted to believe that wasn’t the case. I now am pretty sure that just like most others in this situation, she had a plan in place al…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/25 04:18 PM
2	Loneliness, Honesty, and Feeling Abandoned Sorry to hear about everything man. I’m fairly fresh to this myself, separated about 10 months, divorced 4. My kids are young and I have 50/50 so not exactly the same. But I’d say for the kids, trying your best to forgive any negative feelings you have for them would be helpful. Reaching out and letting them know you still care and want to be involved. That’s all you can do. From there it’s on them unfortunately. As far as the loneliness. When I don’t have my kids it creeps in. You’ve just got t…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/25 08:52 PM
2	Divorce is finalized today, which she instigated seven months ago, but why do I feel like shit? I’m in literally the exact situation. Finalized last week. It bummed me out, but with all the work I’ve done on myself in the last 6 months, I was ready for it. I don’t know your history but therapy has helped. Realizing I had a ton of needs that weren’t getting met but just dealt with it helped. I also wouldn’t have left. But that would have led me to never really being happy or fulfilled. The benefit of divorce is now we know what we want and what we don’t want in the next long term partner an…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/25 12:23 AM
2	What Is Behind the Trend of Women Initiating Breakups and Divorces? Yep, that was my experience. By the time she told me she was done, she wouldn’t even have a conversation about it. We had been in counseling. That turned into what does my husband need to change, not what do WE need to change. And when I didn’t fully change to her liking, with her doing absolutely nothing, that was it. She’d get in to bed with her back to me, no goodnight, no kiss, nothing. And be mad I somehow didn’t do something with that. She’d read books at all times fully ignoring me. She w…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/02/25 09:43 PM
3	Any success with staving off divorce by making a list of demands to radically change the marriage? Man that last line got me. I’m definitely a giver, she’s a taker. Luckily through therapy, time, and giving up on us myself, I’ve started to fight back and be more of a taker, and man does that piss her off.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/12/24 02:53 PM
6	Still can’t process the hard truth I’m in literally about the same place. 3 months ago my wife said she wanted out. I fought and scrambled and was lost. One piece of advice. Have the uncomfortable conversation. Have the conversation you’re dreading. For me it was with our kids. I did my best to put it off as long as I could while she pushed every day we needed to tell them. When she finally forced that conversation, a switch went off in me. This was no longer a person that loved our family. This person was worried about only hers…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/24 05:06 AM