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Hammerhead87 Archive

View 0 posts and 36 comments by Hammerhead87 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

My ex-wife and I were married for 18 years with 3 children. She decided she wanted to have a midlife crisis and start cheating on me. She assaulted me twice and wanted to move the kids to New Hampshire from Hawaii to live with her boyfriend who is 20 years older than her. She also tried 4 different restraining orders, two of which were denied immediately and two were dismissed with prejudice. After $100k in legal bills and a 3-fay trial, she lost all custody. She can't accept what happened and r…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 08:17 PM
3

Wow, your situation sounds eerily similar to my situation. My ex bought our then 8 and 10 year old daughters phones right before our divorce was finalized. She instructed them not to give me their password. I let it go for a little while which was a mistake in hindsight but she flipped out every time I said no. I finally got to the point that those phones aren't allowed at my house even if they are turned off. If I had to do it all over again, I would have stood my ground and never allowed them …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:41 AM
3

I don't have the energy after a long day but damn, I feel for you. My ex-wife accused me of SA on our son. She even knew that I had cameras all in my house. She did this a few weeks after our trial because she got nervous her plan wasn't working. This was what sealed the deal for her to lose custody and only get 6 days of visitation a month. I know it's insanely tough right now and nothing will immediately make it better. The best thing you can do is stay calm and play the long game.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 06:23 AM
9

A few months before she told me she wanted a divorce, she started seeing someone almost 20 years older than her. I ended up filing for divorce once I discovered this and haven't looked back since. Sole custody and living my best life!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 07:04 PM
2

That's what I was wondering. Unless the decree specified it, it won't automatically stop if she remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 10:35 PM
1

Does your divorce decree state that?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 10:13 PM
1

You're welcome. If my experiences in this can help one person I'll be happy. I guess I got lucky on the alimony part. Everyone i tell about my divorce is in disbelief I got sole custody. She said in court this week she is going to keep taking me back by filing new motions and that she wants to clear her name because she's done nothing wrong. 🤣 I would do a calculation on employment and retirement between GS and Contractor/Guard. FERS isn't great and you have to wait until roughly when you would …
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:17 AM
1

- Dating apps weren't/aren't being held against me. I was not hung up on my marriage after what she did but I shouldn't have been on there. I had some fun but even though I thought I was ready, my ex kept coming back for more vengeance and it really sabotaged my time. - Is there anything you can find in a remote/part-time side gig? I am sure you've thought through things but I am just trying to think outside the box. - The judge that took us all the way up to trial told me at our settlement conf…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:23 PM
6

I went through the same things. I'm now divorced and have sole custody of my kids. My ex tried 3 restraining orders, has called nearly everyone she can on base, and I have an OSI investigation going because of her false accusations. She would call my first sergeant and commander's secretary daily launching false accusations and demanding to talk to my commander. I'm still paying for 3 houses while 2 are on the market. To date, I've paid a little over $90k in legal fees. A few things: Stay off th…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:18 AM
7

My ex tried 3 of them on me. 2 were temporarily granted (later dismissed with prejudice) and one was denied. They're the main reason I have sole custody.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 12:43 AM
2

Yes it is entirely possible to file for divorce and complete it yourself provided you and your STBXW are amicable. I filed for divorce myself and then retained a lawyer. $85k later and I am finally divorced. The steps and procedures are going to be State dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 05:00 AM
2

I struggled for a few months with the idea of divorce. I thought about it and then ultimately filed after I found more evidence of cheating. Once she filed the first restraining order (she threatened me with it and then filed after she spent 2 weeks in Japan) it was like a switch flipped. I realized I no longer knew this person and I needed to do everything I could to protect myself and my children.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:44 PM
2

It is what it is. It's just something that happened and I had to deal with it. Accepting that the marriage is over helps with the feeling that divorce is wrong. If she filed a restraining order against you, that's your sign to realize she is no longer the person you married. It's very blunt to put it that way but if you think about what is happening objectively with no emotions involved, it will really put things into perspective and help you navigate the tough road ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 06:47 PM
1

You don't want to do that out of spite over $400. You need to make it to 20 so you can collect your retirement and VA disability. You would be better off getting out now and getting a government civilian job (or at 19.5 since she wouldn't get any of that retirement). You could always go Guard/Reserve and try and get an AGR spot.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:59 AM
1

That's a lot less than mine. I was married for over 18 and will retire next year. She'll get a little over $1200 a month. I couldn't touch her retired lay either since it was a medical retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:29 AM
2

My divorce was finalized last month after nearly a year and almost $85K in legal expenses. I hit just about every square on the silver bullet divorce bingo card. I had 3 restraining orders attempted against me. 2 were temporarily granted and ultimately dismissed with prejudice and 1 was outright denied. She assaulted me twice in front of our kids, called my Shirt nearly every day demanding to talk to my CC. She called Security Forces, OSI, legal, chaplain, and threats to file an IG complaint, ca…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 09:26 AM
1

How was she awarded 50%? https://www.military-divorce-guide.com/military-retirement/calculation-military-retirement-pay-shares
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 09:13 AM
1

My ex-wife did a lot of similar stuff in the past year. Once I caught her cheating it was like a switch flipped and she went crazy. Accusing me of ridiculous things and her doing all sorts of weird stuff. It sounds like something broke in her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 04:42 AM
3

For me, I met most of them unexpectedly when I wasn't even trying or looking. Hotels I've stayed at, going out to restaurants with my kids, friends setting me up, the grocery store (shopping at Whole Foods or Costco with kids you are an amazing catch), out surfing, eetc.You can pretty much meet them anywhere. I even had my babysitter try and set me up with her mom multiple times.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 02:54 AM
7

I'm in a similar boat. I'm thankful every day that my ex told me she wanted a divorce last year. I didn't realize how unhappy I was. Don't get me wrong, going through a divorce from hell sucked but she gambled on things and lost big time. I'm living a dream now and reality is hitting her hard.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 02:51 AM
1

The Ring cameras helped in multiple instances. When we were still living together, I had videos showing her involving our children in arguments, stealing my phone and throwing it out of the house, ripping the Ring cameras down, writing "Stop Gaslighting" on my bedroom door, etc. I played these videos during the restraining order hearing against her and also during our divorce trial. I have Ring cameras all over the house I am living in now. I was able to show the social worker videos from the en…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 09:10 PM
3

I understand I am the exception and wish I could help more men on here. I really have refrained from posting my full story but have commented here and there. I won't ever say that anything I've done, learned, or gone through has been easy. I've made a bunch of mistakes but have gotten great advice and done enough to stop her abuse. I'll say this, my ex was "smart" in making all of these allegations, but she was out of touch on what to say. The forensic psychologist who conducted my son's intervi…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 09:03 AM
8

-Last December she told me she wanted a divorce after I caught her cheating. She assaulted me in front of our children 2 days later. -She threatened me in January with a restraining order if I didn't agree to her divorce demands. She went on a 2-week trip to Japan while leaving the children with me and immediately filed a restraining order. A month later I had the restraining order dismissed with prejudice and moved back in the house. -2 months later she assaulted me again and I filed a restrain…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 07:09 AM
31

My divorce was finalized a couple weeks ago. My ex asked for $5000 a month in alimony, full custody of our 3 children which would have meant about $3600 in child support, and to move to New Hampshire with her sugar daddy (he's 20 years older than her). Halfway through she offered to drop it to $3000 in alimony and I got the weekends. In the end I got full custody, no relocation, she gets $1000 in alimony for 6 months, I get $500 in child support, and she only gets 6 days a month. Keep fighting f…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 06:28 AM
2

It's almost like they all turn into the same person and watch identical TikTok videos. The divorce judge (we've had many different ones this year) outlined her requirement to become self sufficient and employed full time immediately. I let her know that and she told me to stop gaslighting her. It's her favorite term to use yet she doesn't even understand what it means. I had to pay a little bit of alimony for 6 months but then she has to start paying me child support. I hope you get the same res…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:59 PM
2

I live in Hawaii. This was after she said she wanted a divorce but before she went crazy. I would go down to the beach and sit there for hours wondering how I could be in such an amazing place that people spend thousands of dollars to visit yet I was enduring horrible things. I decided that nothing I could do could keep my family together since she was hellbent on tearing it apart. That couple with not seeing my kids for 6 weeks during her first attempt at a restraining order really knocked some…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 07:08 AM
2

I knew early on that anger and lashing out wouldn't get me anywhere. When we were still living together before I got an order of protection against her, she would yell at me, throw my phone out of the house, slam doors, etc. I treated it like a game. The more I stayed cool, the worse she got. I knew deep down that if I was the calm, stable, and dependable parent, it would eventually be better. There were many times it sucked. All 3 days of my trial, my heart rate was 150+. I thought I was going …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:47 AM
2

You can tell based on how they say things, what they say, and their reaction to telling things. If they just parrot a story like it's nothing then that's a clear indicator that they were fed the story. How would anyone know you touched them while they were sleeping? Not that you did it but that part of the story is absurd. Where are the pictures? What were they wearing? When did the pictures take place? The story will start unraveling once you peel back the layers. My son said it happened a week…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:30 AM
3

It was sickening watching my son say those things when they obviously never happened. Her lawyer asked me in court if it was impossible I did it. Umm sir, no I would never do that. I don't know what he was thinking other than I completely forgot that I did it? I'm not a very religious person but apparently God was testing me this year to learn patience and compassion.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:28 AM
4

Wow, it sounds like you're following a similar past that I did this year. My ex would call my unit every day making false allegations to the point that they quit responding to her. She called the Chaplain, Legal, Security Forces, OSI, and anyone else she could talk to. She told everyone I sexually assaulted my son. Her lies ended up biting her in the ass since I got sole custody of our children and she's paying me child support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 12:54 AM
3

Yes my son did. He's 5 years old and she coached him to say I touched his genitals with the top of my hand and that I stuck a spatula up his butt. In conjunction with my original comment, he first said nothing happened, then told the story like he was saying what he had for breakfast, and moved on unphased right to the next topic. The psychologist didn't start off with any rules regarding telling the truth and ignoring what other people told you to say. Then they let him take a break halfway thr…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:35 AM
3

I went through this last month after we had a 3 day trial for divorce. My ex wasn't going to have our children on her birthday so she pulled this stunt. One of the big things that saved me was the Ring cameras I have in my house. I know this won't help you for this but when you beat these accusations, get them for you and your children's protection. I had video from the entire day on multiple cameras. It also helped that this was her third restraining order with multiple lies and the second time…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 11:44 PM
1

Wow that was a lot. I feel for you and hope things improve eventually. I'm going through something similar where my STBXW cheated on me with multiple men and now wants to take the kids and move to NH from HI to be with her "ukulele teacher" who is 20 years older than her. It's late and I don't want to write my whole story out but it involves her filing multiple restraining orders on me (neither were approved), her assaulting me twice in front of our children, and I have an order of protection ag…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 07:34 AM
2

Oh no, you should laugh. Everything she does is just hilarious at this point. It's like she sits at home when I have the kids and schemes up new ways to try and make me look bad (it's all failed miserably so far) or make herself look bad when she thinks she's doing something good. She's still adamant to this day that she has done nothing wrong and wonders why no one believes her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 05:41 PM
4

This is heartbreaking to listen to. I am going through something similar that will hopefully be concluding next week. My wife is an unrecognizable person from even a year ago. She calls my work and the police every week on me. She has filed 2 unsuccessful restraining orders (I have one on her for a year). She involves the children in everything and has stepped up her alienation efforts. I can only hope the judge will see who she really is but I doubt it. She is trying to take our children and mo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 07:20 AM
2

It's tough for men on dating apps. For every one like (or something similar) most women probably have at least 10+. There's a lot that goes into meeting people organically. Most of the times that I've had nothing turn into something organically I wasn't trying at all. I was being friendly and just making conversation. For me I'm more relaxed that way with no pressure. I've also had people set me up with others. To your second point, you're paying for something either way.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 06:58 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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