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Hannelore010 Archive

View 1 posts and 359 comments by Hannelore010 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Hannelore010/r/RedPillWomen05/08/18 12:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

That’s great. We go over the readings on Saturday night so they’re ready to perk up during service the next morning. For some reason kids (and probably adults) are more receptive to the familiar God has promised the Holy Spirit to accompany His Word, so you can’t go wrong praying scripture.
/r/RPChristians18/09/19 05:14 PM
2

“The self you hate is the Old Self. We all have one of those. Putting him off and putting on the New Self is a lifelong process.” The old terms Christians used for this is mortification of the flesh—not hairshirts and stuff, but denying the Old Man his wants. It hurt sometimes, but is part of the Christian life Thanks for responding to him with those verses A+
/r/RPChristians18/09/19 11:03 AM
1

Bachelor is just the new high school degree (and MA the new BA, etc)
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 02:53 AM
1

I appreciate your graciousness toward your difficult mother. One thing that has helped me is sometimes I almost think of myself as the parent and mother as the child (esp. when she’s trying to be manipulative). Not condescendingly, but it helps me be patient and understanding, but firm
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 02:32 AM
3

(I agree with your larger point, but I think this comment was in regard to the actual years of fertility/menstruation, not lifespan or marriage. Also, girls used to, even as recent as two generations ago, start their period 14-16, at least in the west.)
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 02:26 AM
1

36/f/married 13 years, 8 kids, 6 mo pg, 5’6” 140 lbs (don’t know how that weight loss happened...school starting?) Reading: The Odyssey (seriously, should be on the side bar. Check out The Odyssey podcast and recent Close Reads episodes.); Harry Potter; Little Britches book 2 (my boys love these, for those looking for good upper elementary reading for their sons—some minor profanities, because cowboys. Eleven year old has to support and lead his family when his dad dies); Thank, Praise, Serve an…
/r/RPChristians18/09/19 01:55 AM
2

I never got around to commenting on your last OYS where you describe your step-sister coming into your room after a shower with a towel on to “talk,” but that’s really bizarre behavior (and I grew up in a pretty relaxed family when it comes to various states of getting dressed). Even for a grown biological sister, that would be super weird. Does your mom or other biological female relatives do that? Consider your repentance over this sin (and any others, but this one is torturing you and more ac…
/r/RPChristians18/09/19 12:59 AM
1

Love your daily prayer and reading routine! I’m not RC, but Lutheran, and trying to implement the daily offices in our everyday home life, with a few seasonal changes (litany during Advent and Lent). One of these easiest ways for me is attach them to waking, meals, and sleeping. Also, to use those completely set to song I grew up Pentecostal and have to force myself to regularly use impromptu prayer with my kids, because I find public extemporaneous prayer artificial-sounding and affected (not t…
/r/RPChristians18/09/19 12:36 AM
1

Both my husband and I were homeschooled and, although we’re doing a few things differently than our parents, this good use of time is a big reason. The OP should know schooling at home can (and should) mean you use all resources available. Our city has TONS of things for outside-the-home learning: natural history museum workshops, archaeology and historic re-enactment, robotics, chess, scouts, writing workshops. Not to mention every public and private school offers part time (a few just 1 class …
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 03:15 AM
1

I chose a variety of these three, plus a different one. Some classes you just had to take for the degree. Sometimes those teachers sucked, regardless of ideology. You just did the work, got the grade and moved on. And then avoid all these lame classes and profs for the rest of your student career, if you can. I sought out the excellent profs in their field, and I sought out the disciplines within my discipline that demanded more (medieval literature, mostly anglo-Saxon, and technical editing). E…
/r/RPChristians05/09/19 01:58 AM
1

36/f married 13 years, 8 kids, 5’6” 146lbs Last week’s monkeys: 1) detailed lit class 3 weeks worth of lessons. CHECK 2) continue to maintain 4 finished/cleaned rooms FAIL 3) keep calm under the stress of school co-op beginning. CHECK 4) BONUS: do all the crock pot meal prep before everyone is up CHECK This week’s monkeys: 1) focus on maintaining bedroom and kitchen, since when those are a mess it disrupts my day the most 2) second week of all crockpot meals, and prep in the morning 3) have a cl…
/r/RPChristians01/09/19 03:22 AM
1

Plus, once you stop eating refined sugar other things with natural sugar like carrots and plain unsweetened yogurt taste sweet. I think sugar kills the natural sensitivity of the tastebuds, and you can enjoy more flavors without it
/r/RPChristians30/08/19 12:23 PM
1

Thanks! Yes, he is. Oh, yeah, the “bonus” was kind of a lame joke (“bonus monkey”). I have to do it whether I make it a monkey or not; but point appreciated since I do have a tendency to make unachievable lists sometimes. Thank you for the verses. My grandma lived with my parents for five years and stayed at our house three days a week during that time, and just died last year. It’s been interesting how many in my circle of friends have or are going through similar situations (one friends grandm…
/r/RPChristians24/08/19 12:53 PM
1

That’s awesome on the memorization!! How do you choose the verses?
/r/RPChristians23/08/19 11:15 AM
2

I understand. My husband is a man of very few words, but I also have to point out some conflicting decisions he has made—limits are good.
/r/RPChristians23/08/19 12:51 AM
1

OYS #4 37/f married 13 years, 8 kids, 148 lbs 5’6 Reading: Amusing Ourselves to Death; finished Ole Rolvaag’s Our Fathers’ God (last of a trilogy); focusing on the Odyssey because I’ll be teaching it for the next 10 weeks; Harry Potter out loud to the older kids; I’m going to try something a little different this time. In 2014 I made a map based on the outline in Athol Kay’s book. I looked it up today. I had intended to update it quarterly, but only did 2-3 times. I found organizing my plan by r…
/r/RPChristians23/08/19 12:37 AM
1

Great! I also have skipped birthday parties altogether. I’ve learned to take my husband at his word, because then I pay closer attention to those words, and he seems to take more care with what he actually says. But of course each marriage is different and you know your husband ☺️
/r/RPChristians22/08/19 11:02 PM
1

Could your in laws stay at a hotel (or would that be completely offensive?) and you just have cake and ice cream for the party? Low key—no big Pinterest-y show, make it a potluck maybe or grill some meat and buy side dishes. No decorations or favors or outside family guests I’m pretty much over birthday parties, after 12 years of them, almost one a month now!, but I don’t think you should assume your husband is doing this out of obligation. First birthday is really, really fun for the grandparen…
/r/RPChristians22/08/19 08:42 PM
1

“He struggled a lot with guilt, just feeling like this is something I've been taught not to do my entire life and now suddenly we're just allowed to do it and it's okay and it's not bad anymore” He feels guilty for you? As in, he thinks you’re making it harder (hehe) because you waited so long and have hangups? I do know people can have some psychological issues because of how they compartmentalized sex when trying to abstain. However, sometimes there’s just logistics and physics of anatomy. And…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 03:24 PM
1

I’m sure there are great articles around on the best lube. Astroglide I hear is good for especially tight places :) we’ve found saliva works the best for us because too much unnatural slipperiness and not enough friction doesn’t feel great, either I’ve never been bleeding, even while pregnant and nursing at the same time ....drinking more water helps, surprisingly more than one would realize
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 03:16 PM
8

The best things are hard work! “The walls are entirely covered with samurai swords, gun paraphenalia, star wars posters, creepy metal band guys staring at me”. Haha, oh man...
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 03:10 PM
19

I’ve known women who’ve gone through a sort of grieving process when they marry, especially if their family life is really wonderful . It wasn’t my experience, but it’s very common (and also is described a lot in literature) I think thinking of marrying as ADDING loved ones helps (your husband and in-laws and any kids that come along) instead of dwelling too much on what you’re leaving. Marrying does end a part of your relationship with your parents, and siblings. It’s sad, but the expansion and…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 02:10 AM
1

Physical: Health: exercise hasn’t happened since I’m trying to get the house in order; it’s priority to open up other opportunities, including regular exercise, because otherwise it takes up time when in disorder. Eating better. Yearly physical moved to Monday House: Good momentum cleaning up. Still way behind I would like to be and not a hugely productive day yesterday, but have total 4 rooms done; completion is satisfying Finance: poor, but I looked over ynab this morning and wrote a short lis…
/r/RPChristians16/08/19 08:24 PM
1

No one but the Church of God sect claims that some one who dies with faith before the opportunity to be baptized goes to hell. Sacraments aren’t magic (men manipulating God) Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved Whoever does not believe will be condemned
/r/RPChristians15/08/19 10:15 AM
1

I didn’t read your comment as a criticism, just noting some Lutherans recognize the issue and are addressing it, but with a very long view The conventional “missional” Lutheran churches often just have converted people leave after a few years for a nondenom church, since they don’t learn Lutheran doctrine. The most conventionally “missional” churches in town (anecdotal, I know)-whatever the denom-have an extremely high turnaround rate/burnout. But I appreciate your broad point that Lutherans are…
/r/RPChristians15/08/19 10:11 AM
1

This inferred introversion of Lutherans causes Lutherans much puzzlement. Some guess it’s the wide parachurch and extra-ecclesial mission activity of the Baptists and calvinists, whereas Lutherans like to center their Christian life around the pulpit, font and altar; the congregationalist nature of our churches in America (we’re episcopal everywhere else) make us isolating, which is bad some guess it’s the relatively recent English world of Lutherans (many of our theologians are still being tran…
/r/RPChristians15/08/19 02:15 AM
1

My favorite response to the anabaptist (rebaptizers during the reformation) retort, “Yes, but I didn’t believe then!” “Well, believe now!” So to the fornicator, “well, marry now!”
/r/RPChristians15/08/19 01:51 AM
1

There’s a strong Calvinist bent to Low church (“evangelical”) Anglican. Most Reformed Baptist’s I know read 19th c. anglicans (Ryle, etc) in addition to Puritans Baptist churches from the beginning were either particular or free will (see Westminster 1689 London confession). Most very early “free will” Baptists were independent, I believe The English (and thus American) church’s history is very interesting
/r/RPChristians13/08/19 05:36 PM
2

“It’s obvious to me that it’s the abstaining part, but he thinks it’s about the having a child part.” It’s not obvious to me at all, and do consider u/rocknrollchuck ‘s insights; even if you disagree with him on contraception, that doesn’t invalidate his perceptive insights We mutually threw in the strict nfp towel two months after marriage and promptly got pregnant. Since then we’ve prevented several times, successfully, but not worrying about it is better. I convinced my husband of a contracep…
/r/RPChristians13/08/19 03:19 PM
1

“Is it gestational diabetes?“ No, not officially but I’m trying to prevent a diagnosis. I’ve easily controlled it with diet and exercise in the past, but my age makes each pregnancy more likely (last one was the first I failed the 1-hour test, but passed the 3-hour). My husband has LADA (type 1.5), and he actually went off insulin for a few months through lifestyle but it was kind of a full time job to manage, and too hard to do that while having a real job (and a little dangerous). But I know a…
/r/RPChristians13/08/19 02:30 PM
1

Oh, teething is super hard for some babies! Two of mine cried for 3 months straight, and were/are not by nature fussy. I hear if adults had that pain, we’d demand Vicodin. I let them nurse as much as they wanted and gave them Tylenol before bed. (Of course, others just had a tooth show up with no fussiness at all. Difference in pain tolerance maybe)
/r/RPChristians11/08/19 02:07 AM
2

A very minor quibble—“birth control” and “contraception” may be used interchangeably in modern parlance, but birth control (preventing an unborn child at any stage from being born) is most certainly not condoned in the Bible. Contraception (“against conception”) prevents the sperm and/or egg from meeting to create a child.
/r/RPChristians11/08/19 02:02 AM
1

36/f married 13 years, 20 wks pregnant with 9th live baby, 146lbs 5’6 PHYSICAL: Recovering from head cold and 10-day vacation. Hiked once this week, some increased asthma, I think because of the head cold and increased inflammation (where we camped had high pollen count); first ultrasound fine, cleared all the old-pregnant-lady tests, low bp Cut back on fast food when returned from vacation, “only” 1-2 times a week last 3 weeks Increase in spending because of school costs; need to look over the …
/r/RPChristians10/08/19 02:00 PM
1

I misplace my phone in the house a lot and use iCloud locate feature (on the laptop). Don’t know what the non Apple version is, but there probably is one Re: baby, 10 months is a good time to train to sit alone for 10-15 minutes. I know there’s wide philosophical difference among parents for how long to allow crying alone, if at all, but I think most babies can learn to be alone at that age for 10-15 minutes can which is a good amount of prayer time. I do most of my book reading (not devotions, …
/r/RPChristians10/08/19 12:37 PM
2

Or even if never fraudulent, can only make a living with a publicly marketed image. He’s remaking himself (a frightening phrase) now and “rebranding.” That doesn’t mean he’s not sincere, both as a Christian and now an apostate, just that his whole professional life has been based on a public persona, and he’s continuing to do that because it’s what he knows. I really don’t understand the public nature of this personal crises except through that “personal brand marketing” explanation. You can div…
/r/RPChristians29/07/19 06:32 PM
4

It was written when he was about 18-20, before he had any experience with dating, marriage, etc. I don’t think this was his fault, since he was advised (presumedly by parents) to be entrepreneurial in his personal ministry, (a certain type of homeschool Christian teaches their kids to do this, instead of a traditional white or blue collar career ). His twin little brothers later had a “do hard things” campaign when they also were about 18. So the problem with giving practical advice without expe…
/r/RPChristians29/07/19 10:27 AM
1

Thanks for the feedback! Yes, the noon readings with the kids go through the Bible in a year and our church readings go through the Bible once in three years. I go through the Psalms about once a month “Fail to plan is planning to fail,” I see you often advise others, and it’s definitely a truism! We have a shared calendar, but for my own tasks I’ve been just using pocket field notes to make a todo list each day. I’ve tried bullet journals and such but a simple list seems most effective. I have …
/r/RPChristians19/07/19 02:35 AM
2

“I have an MA in theology so it’s rare that I have theological questions my husband knows the answer to; if I have a question, it’s generally complex enough that it requires finding an extremely well-trained priest.” Yes, I understand. I meant he (or your priest) will do the research and get back to you, if they don’t know. After a while it’s just them leading, as they should, and not depending on ladies with MAs who already know everything to be the hard workers in the church. It’s not pretendi…
/r/RPChristians18/07/19 08:54 PM
2

First OYS 36/F, married 13 years, 5 months pregnant with 9th live baby, 5’6 160 lbs, PHYSICAL: just got the super duper preferred health rating by insurance, but I know I have a lot of work ahead to be healthy and am coasting on genes. Living healthier is probably the #2 way I can be a good helpful wife to my husband Intended exercise: walk 3 miles a day, yoga morning and evening. So far I walk or hike maybe 2 times a week. I’m entering the crucial time to exercise now before sciatica and loose …
/r/RPChristians18/07/19 01:12 PM
1

Home Comforts is a great book! My mil got it for me for my bridal shower. Don’t underestimate how exhausting a UTI is. I’ve found cutting back a lot on sugar and yeast (bread, beer) keeps them from recurring. Also, find a strong probiotic and eat plain yogurt, kraut/kimchi, other fermented foods Great insights into stepping back to give your husband room to be involved at church. Our tradition doesn’t have leadership positions for women (even lay men don’t lector), but I still have a hard time f…
/r/RPChristians18/07/19 11:31 AM
5

I know couples who have named their miscarried (such a weird word...) babies (and if possible had a funeral and burial) I have had three miscarriages, but only one like you’ve described, and if it happens again I’ll definitely bury whatever comes out, even if it’s not an intact body. A woman I know was comforted by her dad that her baby had sort of a burial at sea, a burial by water; I told that to my sister-in-law who was so upset everything flushed down the toilet. We have not named our miscar…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 11:03 AM
3

I do this: 2 eggs for bfast, salad for lunch, what my family eats for dinner. No snacks (I try to drink water when I’m hungry for snacks)
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/19 03:08 AM
2

That pastor was wrong, faith can be created by the Holy Spirit apart from baptism. But baptism (water alongside the Word of God) is the ordinary way to receive faith (literally, “baptism now saves you” is not a verse out of context) Was he a Church of God pastor? That’s the only denom I know that makes baptism absolutely necessary for salvation, but also a sort of work. Some believing on a plane would just intend to be baptized when he joined a church upon landing. If the plane were to go down, …
/r/RPChristians14/07/19 02:31 AM
2

Same here! Short engagements ftw! (But long-ish courtships...)
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/19 08:13 PM
5

My daughter (11, in 4-h) just gave a presentation at a local homemakers club on how to make a cheese board. Her 4-h leader is also a member of the ladies group and arranged it. It was a good experience for my daughter. I went to a fundraiser tea luncheon a few years ago, for a local crisis pregnancy center. There were about 200 women there, ages teens to 90s, although probably mostly 40s-60s. I grew up in my city and it was so encouraging to see so many people from various circles I’ve been in o…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/19 08:10 PM
1

(Further disclosure, I’m a woman, see my username :) ) The fruit of repentance is impossible for the Old Man to create. Total depravity is 100% biblical, and no good can be done by the Old Man, because he’s dead in his sins. The New Man knows he’s (speaking of the person) a damned sinner apart from Christ and no amount of “sincerely” or “truly” will satisfy him because he knows he’s still a sinner who needs daily repentance. There’s no point this side of heaven where we don’t need to further rep…
/r/RPChristians08/07/19 07:59 AM
1

I understand the cultural differences and it’s not illegal in your country, but it sound like it’s not open and honest, ie your parents don’t know, which is a red flag. If he were an upright guy, he’d be stopping by for family dinners or whatever
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 04:00 AM
2

Hi! I’ve been married 13 years, and have used charts a few times (only for a few months at a time) to avoid conception. It’s extremely stressful, and we only use it when necessary. (Yeah, we have 4x the average number of kids). Nursing around the clock every two hours does not suppress my cycle past 4 months pp. How old is your baby? (Congrats, btw—isn’t it great!?!?) Work + masters + pregnancy and delivery sounds awful. And I love academics. Do you live in a zip code where two incomes (I assume…
/r/RPChristians08/07/19 03:40 AM
2

Doubt, or lack of a feeling of assurance isn’t a sign you’re not covered in Jesus’s blood. Doubt is a sin to be repented of, then rest in Jesus’s forgiveness. If you weren’t moved (by the Holy Spirit, of course) to repentance regarding doubt, then that would be an indication of no New Man Have you read the Reformed/Presbyterian confessions? The Heidelberg is especially comforting Gospel https://rscottclark.org/2012/09/heidelberg-catechism-1563/ Full disclosure: I’m lutheran, not Reformed, but we…
/r/RPChristians08/07/19 03:10 AM
2

Well, sort of, and to a limit. People still choose to do their own thing after a certain age, much to the disappointment of parents, sometimes. But hopefully the foundation is solid and they can emerge from mistakes, or hurtful and stupid decisions, more mature and with the tools to move forward. That’s the job of parenting: giving and teaching your children the tools to be responsible adults. There might be some hiccups and stumbles, but consistent patience is key at age 14 and 17 just as much …
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 09:45 PM
6

Ok, yes, those all sound like pretty conventional reasons why to not have children I’d caution you to not have an abundance of fears, where some are realistic (stretch marks, which are hereditary) and some aren’t (fear your teen will date someone older?! Is that a common thing in your culture?) I’m concerned you might live life in general afraid of not knowing all the possible bad scenarios. Instead, gather the relevant information (like you’re doing now!), work with whomever is appropriate to t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 04:22 PM
17

I’m your mom (sort of), and I’m not sure where you get children automatically means “drama and expenses.” I have 9 kids under 13 and while there’s the usual sibling fighting, definitely, no real drama at all. Maybe you mean the emotional toll being a mother can take, since you will be emotionally attached to your children—to varying degrees—until you or they die, whichever comes first. And as they get older you have to suppress that and let them do their own thing and make their own choices, whi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 02:24 PM
1

Lutheran, Missouri sort, as is my husband. Neither of us were raised LCMS, although our respective parents faithfully taught us the gospel, for which we are thankful
/r/RPChristians07/07/19 03:02 AM
2

“But I have to accept where we are. Where he is... and it isn’t where we were a couple years ago. I have to be happy that we once had that, but recognize this may be just what we have now“ This is a wise state of mind. From experience, things get better when you stop compulsively comparing now with the past
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/19 02:29 PM
2

Wise advice!
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/19 02:26 PM
4

We were the same age (21) and he brought it up 3 months after dating (kind of took me by surprise, but in a good way). We waited a long time time to start dating, about a year, after first liking each other, and also our families knew each and we moved in the same circles, so it wasn’t too fast. We had a checklist of things to resolve in order to marry, and took care of that during a year of dating (both some philosophical and practical things) . Then we were engaged 3 months. We married at 23
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/19 09:42 PM
1

I do 1-2 difficult things (for me) a day
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/19 09:04 PM
3

Congratulations! -read out loud to her (even now, whatever you’re reading, as you’re nursing) -strawberries sound great! Watch out because it might cause diaper rash reaction, though, until they’re older -have interests and broad knowledge that shows the world is a diverse and interesting place. My oldest son enjoys knowing about weather patterns and types of clouds, like me, and also identifying a lot of regional plants and bugs and such;my daughter likes handicrafts, but her kinds, not mine; m…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/19 09:03 PM
1

No, I’ve had a lot of kids, and the gaining wait has been 1/4, actually losing weight after birth (compared to before conception—about 10 lbs less 3 months after deliver than I was before) has been 1/8, and 5/8 has just been gaining and losing exactly 25 lbs every pregnancy This has been with little exercise besides sporadic walking or hiking, with a moderately good diet, and having 10 (8 live) pregnancies between ages 24-33. I know after 35+ can be more difficult to not gain a lot of weight The…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/19 12:49 AM
2

I think you’re thinking too utilitarian. A married couple procreates for 20 years (If they marry when the wife’s 20-25). They have 5-8 kids, something like that, barring infertility. After that there could be all kinds of hormonal and pleasurable bonding reasons for a husband to continue leaving seed in his wife, even way beyond the possibility of fertilization. God’s economy isn’t ours (I know that phrase is used regarding salvation, but can apply to all kinds of things. God’s ways aren’t our w…
/r/RPChristians28/05/19 02:47 AM
1

Understandably you should NOT be lifting your mom. However, does her pastor make shut-in calls (pretty standard pastor responsibility) and are his sermons available on audio? There’s much talk on this sub about discipleship and such, and making sure the most helpless (children and elderly parents) get spiritual nourishment should be priority in our mission, since they are our responsibility. God has literally given them to us. (I also know all about parents and grandparents milking attention—not…
/r/RPChristians27/05/19 01:16 AM
1

I’m a mother to 9 and this is all good advice
/r/RPChristians27/05/19 12:55 AM
1

Met at 20, dating at 21, married at 23
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/19 11:15 AM
2

Great update! All very doable short term changes that make such a difference in the long run, and help boost morale in the meantime
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/19 03:09 AM
3

This is mostly my personal experience with those who married between 21-25. With a few exceptions the marriages seem fine. Marrying someone you meet in college, making sure to get feedback from family and other friends who can give you honest advice, still seems like the best plan. The OP’s mom seems to have (understandably) made her decisions based on her grandmother’s life. One can learn from one’s elders’ mistakes and gained wisdom, but also understand each individual case is different.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/19 06:01 PM
7

This is a good list. I think posture and clothes that accentuate put together over comfort is also a characteristic. Blue jeans are for horseback riding and gardening (and the original use—mining!) I always think of Julie Andrews when I think of a classy, gracious, famous lady.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/19 05:08 PM
3

I do the practicing when I’m not serving guests, and I’ve also learned to make super simple, either one pot meals or 3 dishes: protein/greens/starch. If I’m good at a recipe, but it’s time consuming (ice cream cake, lasagne, pastitso), I make it the day before, and only have simple dishes for the rest of the meal
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/19 09:49 PM
1

I see what you’re saying, but you can only go with what people say. He says he’s not worried about the finances. I think the OP is anxious about them, and he’s stressed about her anxiety/feeling he can’t make her feel safe/convince her it’s ok Perhaps it’s a wrong reading of the situation, but when I completely trust my husband who says, “ it’s good, here’s the plan, we just have to follow through” instead of freaking out, he also reacts better. (I’m assuming the OPs not 100s of thousands in deb…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/19 06:31 PM
2

It could be a physical problem for him. Has he had bloodwork? There was a time in our marriage my husband didn’t even notice we were trending every 3 weeks (baseline for us has always been 1-2 times a week, with exceptions during really busy times). It seemed so petty to count the days, but he really didn’t notice. And never would have if I hadn’t told him. He was genuinely surprised. Suffering alone while reading “Red Pill” tips online was very painful, because it was always my fault, it’s alwa…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 02:21 PM
3

This is so great! I KNOW all this stuff, and have known it for years, but being pulled in a lot of directions gets me nowhere. “The chaos is so deep” resonates :) The dishwasher thing (testing now—we have an old one so might not work) and meal plan thing is especially inspiring. Thanks, even though the advice was for OP. If you have time (haha) consider posting something with more tips
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 02:13 PM
2

These are very helpful
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 02:06 PM
4

Hi! I just want to encourage you—I’ve been in a variety of the situations you’re in now, sometimes all at once. I don’t have time for a long response, but don’t give up! Don’t dismiss all advice. Also this: “but he holds so much resentment towards me and is very closed off right now.” I used to take my husband’s (former—he’s not really anymore) unengaged behavior very personally. He was just trying to solve some (very big) problems and was extremely stressed, and wasn’t hating me or resenting me…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/19 12:31 PM
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I’ve been making use of this woman’s Aldi crockpot meals, and am in the middle of testing them all: https://store.laurengreutman.com/collections/meal-plans/products/meal-plan-1-20-slow-cooker-freezer-meals You can access for free all the recipes in the first 2 books. So far I have not made them freezer meals, because I’m testing how my family likes them So far the successes: honey garlic chicken (made 4 times, including to bring over to some grieving families, and someone getting a kidney transp…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 12:03 PM
1

Have you read anything by Athol Kay? I’m the wife, but his books helped me when I had no idea what was going on and why our marriage was having difficulty. I think some of the suggestions he has for day-to-day interactions are great, and explain why people close to you behave in certain ways, so you can can change your own behavior. Not to manipulate, but people fall into ruts (or the “crazy cycle” as Love and Respect calls it) It’s called “married man sex life primer” Even if your problem isn’t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 11:50 AM
15

I think you need a purpose. There’s nothing inherently wrong with living with your parents, but I perceive you’re dependent on them in every way. #1 priority, get a job (yes, might be scary—just keep applying until you get one), then #2 make long term career plans (go back to school? Learn a trade? Etc). You can still live with your parents, but maybe offer to pay rent, and/or buy groceries every other week for them. Sounds like you help with the house—great ! Having s purpose outside the home w…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 02:57 AM
3

That’s wonderful, your goals seem very achievable and realistic! For what it’s worth, I had 0 trauma growing up and was surrounded by a lot of great men (fathers, uncles, etc), but wasn’t kissed until I was 22 and was a virgin until 23. I don’t think that’s odd at all, and I think you should not worry about “losing time.” You have a very doable plan for moving forward, and you’re getting help—sounds like you’re doing everything in general right! As to your specific question, I would hang out wit…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/19 09:44 PM
1

“But. Like most history related to women, they pulled strings behind closed doors.” Exactly. So Spartan women weren’t so different. And I believe this is still the best way for a woman to accomplish real things Women “in power” and with a public presence are usually being used, either by other women, or more likely, men.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 05:57 PM
1

I’m not sure, though, women’s public civil rights today are in any way directly related or descended from Spartan practices. I think we have a different definitions of liberty, too (you and I, not to mention both of us vs the Spartans). There wasn’t even a category of assumed “rights” then, even for men
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 05:25 PM
2

“they held citizenship for Spartans above all others” This isn’t extreme. Most nation states put their citizens’ interest and well-being above others. Distinctions can lead to fascism, but not necessarily. I would say Spartan women had the responsibilities they did out of necessity, not out of generous, refreshing appreciation for the unique outlook of Woman . Because of their large slave class (and presumed cruelty toward any uprising, since the military was constantly ready to “put down” rebel…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 04:50 PM
2

Do you mean economically conservative? Our use of the terms is defined by the last 200 years of western history, mostly, or even just 100 years Most women are invisible in history because of biology. Actually, most men, too, because they were busy working to feed the result of that biology
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 03:29 PM
3

I agree, but the former makes the latter 1000 times more possible
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 02:03 PM
6

Divorce impulses ebb and flow. Difficulty in marriages ebb and flow. If you’re waiting for children to grow and get the heck out, with no energy put into making the marriage improve, you’re going to divorce. But If in that time you work on yourself and the marriage, things may get better. Children make couples think twice about ending it all, which isn’t a bad thing, and isn’t imprisonment.It slows down (and perhaps prevents altogether) impulsive decisions, and actually does connect a couple dif…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 12:44 PM
4

Yes, I’m against sufferage (including in the LCMS 😊 ), but the OP as written will convince exactly 0 people. The history of how suffragettes were used by the temperance movement is fun I’m also for the restriction of votes only for the propertied class.
/r/RPChristians02/05/19 02:07 AM
15

I think there are good secular reasons to not just blindly use hormonal birth control. It’s good to be educated about what it does to your body and the possible side effects. And it’s also good to understand how your body works, because it’s super awesome Fertility awareness techniques (there are a number of them and they are often used concurrently—FAMs are NOT the just old “rhythm method.”) In fact, FAM has helped many women increase their fertility and figure out hormonal imbalances in their …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 11:07 PM
1

Haha...I saw recently a group of middle aged women with curtain-cloth jumpers at a Sound of Music show, so I’m not sure it’s an age thing...
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 01:06 AM
3

Parents, 4-h is a great resource for both your daughters and sons to learn these skills (and compete for recognition!) I’m not a great sewer, and making all our own clothes would be too expensive, but I know the basics because I had 4 years of sewing (and you model your clothes after judging, too, which is a good experience). I can crochet, knit, embroidery, weave, and quilt also because I had an elementary art teacher who taught me all those skills I agree with the commenter who said in general…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/19 01:40 PM
2

Like a cow chewing cud, my Grandpa said
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 01:41 AM
5

That’s interesting. I’ve always thought of fury (Latin by way of French...as in the Furies in Roman religion) as driven by passion/uncontrolled specifically, while anger (from Norwegian, Dutch and German origins into English)can be controlled and channeled. As you say, though, it probably has to do with our native languages how we understand these words The etymology of anger is super interesting. But I agree with your larger point that one type of this emotion is good, the other is bad (and for…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 06:37 PM
2

I think the only inaccuracy was how Cash’s first wife was portrayed. His children did not appreciate it and walked out of the theatre (ie she was not at fault at all for his infidelity)
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 11:39 PM
3

I agree that the Obamas seem to have a good marriage Also, Laura Bush is a perfect lady
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 10:54 PM
2

Thanks for the YouTube suggestions I find your Tess recommendation interesting. I was not a fan of that novel in my late teens, because she seemed like such a helpless wet noodle What do you think of Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennet, since we’re on 19th c women?
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 10:53 PM
1

I think I have arrived as such ;)
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 10:50 PM
9

We use ynab and he since 2013 or so took over the finances (we married in 2006 and tried a receipt system, then I was in charge of our personal finances when he started his own business), but we both realized he wanted to be in charge in general I buy what I want, when, but he does ask that I tell him when it’s over $100, and it’s pretty clear in ynab what im overspending on I write all the bills we pay by check; he pays all the bills online. He does all the investing (his field/hobby) ETA: no f…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 10:16 PM
2

DO IT! He sounds like a keeper, and I think you just got proposed to. You could get a real boat captain to officiate, because they can marry people Don’t hurt anyone’s feeling or anything (I’m thinking like a mom here now, and thinking of how I would feel if my daughters eloped)....BUT GO GET MARRIED. Have a big party or whatever when you can afford it And work on yourselves, together, forever (well, until death...). Marriage to a good man is the very best—would highly recommend! Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 05:30 PM
2

I agree with you and would say the same thing if she were married, being chill and married to Mr Chill myself. But any second thoughts before marriage should be taken pretty seriously, imho (assuming that’s the end goal). After marriage you take these things in stride, as you say, and with good humor. Before marriage you consider, “can I really live with this for the rest of my life?” (But also with good humor!)
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 05:06 PM
3

I agree with this advice. A 23 year old might be able to buy some time (but shouldn’t!) while a 30 year old the metabolism slows down and bad eating catches up with you. So do YOU eat well and exercise and have a toned body? Last though: was he in a sport or other athletic hobby he had to stay fit for that he’s not in now?
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 03:35 PM
3

I think you underestimate the friend’s death, and that might have sent him into a tailspin he hasn’t yet recovered from. Habits formed during a bout of depression/mourning can be hard to kick. Death, especially premature, is no joke What’s his family like? Eat relatively well and keep a reasonably tidy house? My mom’s whole family has a hard time getting rid of things and I have that impulse, although I don’t have the emotional attachment to things they do. You say he’s been working long hours—h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 03:32 PM
2

I kind of like it
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 03:05 PM
6

Hardworking women running their estates well, a la Proverbs 31: Kristin Lavransdatter makes some relationship decisions I would never make, BUT she puts her everything into her husband’s slovenly farm and helping to recover his reputation among the locals. Mother Wilder (Laura Ingalls’ mother-in-law) is wife to the richest man in the area, but has that New England thrift AND generosity (the food! Food all the time! So much homemade food). Her hands are always busy, from making her own cloth to f…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:55 PM
5

That’s funny...I love mom and dads on sitcoms like Kitty and Red (there aren’t enough of them). Another one that comes to mind is the mom and dad on Freaks and Geeks.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:27 PM
2

Oh, yes! Abigail Adams is so amazing!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:25 PM
1

Ma is amazing. Reading LH books outloud to my kids as an adult, you realize what a difficult man Pa was, with his wanderlust. A man in his 60s pointed out to me he continually put his family in danger (thelogging camp in Silver Lake 😳), but Laura does such a good job writing him from the prospective of daughters (and wife, frankly), who love him AND his adventurous, fiddle playing self. Beautiful American (fine) literature.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:23 PM
7

he’s mine and im his forever and all that and no ones gonna convince me otherwise despite everything i’m about to say Ok, but you’re not married, so I do think the situation would be different if you were. You can consider what’s happening with the sloppiness and lack of ambition and consider it seriously. I mean you said I do believe my captain is the perfect captain for me right now I would never add that qualifier regarding my husband. So... On the other hand, it’s just what some guy said. Si…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:18 PM
3

I have the same experience with my husband re: IOIs. (We’re both in our mid30s)
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 01:52 PM
2

And eating well, regular sleep and exercise, and managing stress are probably the best ways to stay healthy in all your body systems, including your cycle.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:34 AM
2

Menopause lasts like 7-10 years and I think the other end of that (puberty) can last as long. I’ve been regular (28 days on the dot, 4 days long) for 23 years, and this year I suddenly have 70-day long cycles and really really short luteal phases. I was also concerned about pcos, esp. because my first period after the last baby was excruciating, like the worst pain I’ve experienced (they’ve been normal since, just far apart) Tracking your cycle (however in depth you want. I do mucous, cervix siz…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 09:20 PM
3

Yeah, (some) men come to the same conclusion (being a man is a raw deal). We work with what we’ve got. Being a woman often means wife and mother, but doesn’t always. People are various and sundry and do all sort of things, within their individual limits and one of those limits could be gender I basically came to the conclusion around age 20 I had to be satisfied as single and/or unable to have children, even though I very much wanted both. I had no reason to believe I wouldn’t marry and had no r…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 02:35 PM
12

Wisdom and understanding (not cynicism or bitterness) is what should follow innocence (not saying it’s easy!)
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 01:51 PM
1

Weird format, sorry. It’s supposed to be 6 separate areas of worry contributing to your anxiety :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 01:16 AM
10

Ingredients for your anxiety: new country pregnant comparing your husband’s spending habits with your own, and thinking maybe he wants you to be like him (I don’t think you know this to be true for a fact, at least you don’t say so here) not talking to him/opening yourself up to him with the thoughts you share here. I know “communication” can be overly emphasized (and not defined well) in marriage counsel, but worry less about the generic finance set up and ask what HE wants. Maybe you feel guil…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 01:14 AM
1

I can’t wait to recommend it to my daughters (and read it a few more times myself)
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 09:00 PM
2

I wouldn’t do this unless you know it will garner a laugh
/r/RPChristians08/04/19 05:50 PM
5

The Eternal Woman by Gertrude v la Fort is my favorite philosophical piece on the divine feminine. The thesis hinges on the Virgin Mother—and that she is a type of all women, either wife (and therefore mother), or virgin. Being either or a wife or virgin connects you anymously to the streams of generations—you’re a small, invisible part of the whole, unlike the Man who is hero, individual, strives to make a name for himself, stand out, distinguish, etc. (understood as the theological/philosophic…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/19 06:05 PM
3

I think that’s the media/popular version of a stay at home wife. A lot of families sacrifice financially to have a parent stay at home, and aren’t wealthy at all. If they have 4 kids in 9 years, that’s 14 years at home before the youngest starts school. And then usually the at-home wife goes back to school or gets a part time job
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 09:20 PM
4

I have thought a lot about this, and I agree and try to orient my thoughts accordingly—I’m not especially suffering more than others
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 08:03 PM
1

Google “I Trust when Dark My Road” It’s a free booklet written by a pastor who has depression (and was suicidal). His position was clarifying for me on mental illness and sin—the materialists says it’s all medical to be treated with drugs; the spiritualist that it’s all will to be overcome with sheer force. But both are wrong His argument is that all illness is caused by sin, even if not directly. And sin does not just infect our souls, but our bodies as well. (We know infants are sinners becaus…
/r/RPChristians04/04/19 02:33 AM
1

I do both: the first with acquaintances and strangers, the second with loved ones (think while speaking)
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/19 12:17 AM
3

You lose your edge with age Haha, that’s probably a good thing (and I retook it and that’s what I am!)
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 03:18 PM
2

INTP 9w1 in 2014 INFP-A 9w1 2019 The T/F percentage difference though was 43/57, and if I remember right if was about the same, but opposite difference in 2014. Thanks! I consider this sort of a (fun!) parlor game, but I definitely gained insight into how 9w1 works in regards to feelings, empathy and mediating when I first took the tests. It was fun to take it again
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 03:12 PM
4

My husband is an INTP (as of his early 20s) and the same age as me; I wonder what he is now. Probably INTP 😂 I think we just learn how to work with people, out of necessity, and that changes the T to F
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 03:08 PM
1

Maybe INTP is something people often are in their teens and 20s
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 02:45 PM
2

I changed from INTP also to something I can’t remember between 2014-2017. It’s so interesting how circumstances (and how you react to them) can change you
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 02:41 PM
5

Same here—the test I took a few years ago said I was 9w1 first, then 5w6, followed by others. The test ranked them, which was helpful “I broke your enneagram test.” Such an INTP thing to say 😁
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 02:39 PM
1

Very wise words, especially the bit about forgiveness, and anger and bitterness not being resolved by a divorce
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 01:24 PM
1

A financial advisor told her childcare cost would outweigh the benefits of her working, if the goal is financial stability. It’s concerning he doesn’t want her working no matter what, but it practically doesn’t make sense right now If you read through the comments it seems like he’s slowly turning around (has a regular job, made arrangements for his debt, isn’t going out spending borrowed money, spends time with the kids outside). does he have a concrete plan of action? This is very good advice.…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 01:17 PM
1

Where’s his dad?
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 01:05 PM
3

Sometimes he'll enthusiastically come onto some insight that some man helped him notice and be discussing it with me with glowing excited eyes, and I throw up my hands and yell in frustration "sure I told you that 6 months ago!!!" Haha, suppress that impulse! No one likes an arch “I told you so!” from a peer, let alone a spouse. Enjoy his excitement and be thankful he realized something you already knew, and now you’re on the same page; I assume his laid back demeanor is what first attracted you…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 05:41 PM
3

Finally, (an answer to your actual question) work hard to be cheerful and see the good that’s happening, while also being realistic. Some of the doting wife tales on this sub may not be possible, especially while you’re working, but you can still be warm and cheerful. He knows you’re resentful and probably that he really messed up! Even if you don’t verbally complain, are available in bed and always have dinner, I’m sure he senses your anger and resentment. Better to be genuinely loving and offe…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 04:26 PM
3

This suggests a water leak somewhere. Could you have a handy man—or just some neighbor who knows about carpentry—come by and check in the meantime, before the house inspector comes? Someone who owns another farm house and does his or her own repairs? Stopping the leak will slow that problem down. Stop googling, too; it’s not helping you move forward and just causing fear. You need facts! Fact 1: you’re in a lot of debt (or your husband is—is your name on any of this?). You don’t have to say the …
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 04:16 PM
2

I have to wear torn and patched clothes etc so I don't like to go out in public and it is my husband who brings the children out to events and playtimes. My husband is really matured and stepping up nowadays Hi. I patch my boys’ jeans and I get most of my own clothes as handmedowns. So far no one has ended a friendship or banished me over it. It sounds like you are isolating yourself, which isn’t good for your mental health. (Also, when I had anxiety that manifested physically with racing heart …
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 07:21 PM
4

Do you have food? Do you have a roof over your head even if it isn't pretty? Can you occasionally go to the thrift store to get new clothes as needed? If the answer to these questions is "no" then you may need to defy your husband to get a part time job, even if it is a babysitting gig you can bring your kids to...but if the answer to those questions is "yes" then perhaps you just need to adjust your own internal standards for a good enough quality of life. Great advice! While no one should go h…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 06:57 PM
2

You’re in a tough place, but there’s hope because I think you recognize only you can change your attitude. Couple of things to remember: a) there’s no shame in poverty itself, and b) consider what some of the failures (whether his fault, neither, or both your faults) mean to him. Male anger, depression and discouragement can look a lot different than ours. Perhaps you can realign your emotional resources and be on the same side against the cruel cold world, instead of against each other Living i…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 06:53 PM
3

This is very cynical (which isn’t attractive), and maybe common among certain women and certain men, neither of which are in my social class. It’s an absurd exaggeration of the differences between men and women, and type examples are all over literature (see Great Gatsby, etc). Also all over reality TV. It’s not really normal or desirable though, just a cartoon of how men and women interact with each other We already have an honest and morally acceptable way for this dynamic (men getting access …
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 02:57 PM
1

I’ve been looking for a CBT podcast for a while—thanks
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 06:02 PM
3

Searching in this sub comes up with a lot of results, including the most recent https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aty2ew/favourite_podcasts/
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 07:35 PM
1

I think rather what she’s describing in the OP is finding herself in a cultural/political realignment. Alliances are changing right now based on importance and a lot of classical liberal values are joining unlikely factions who want to defend someone’s right to xyz without losing their job or being silenced by social pressure/media. It’s concerning to a growing number of people that this silencing is happening, and these people used to be on rather opposite political and cultural poles. (I wish …
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 07:20 PM
5

Oh, ok—not offended, just confused Sometimes my kids don’t WANT to do those physical things, but by the time they start, they feel better
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:36 PM
2

I’m going to try this! My husband used to do this with our large dog
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:32 PM
3

Oh man, our family is going through an arm wrestling phase...that and “hand squeezing” (who can squeeze the other hand the hardest).
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:31 PM
3

My girls do this, too—wiggling while “cuddling” and therefore hurting me. Little kids love their moms’ physical bodies, and sometimes seem to not be able to get close enough, haha. Moms are that physical sense of place, “mother’s are home,” Chesterton or someone quotable like that says Maybe besides getting more physical activity, train him that he has to stay (relatively) still on your lap (and train your daughter this right away when she starts sitting up). He has to get down and you’re done w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:29 PM
3

It’s not punishment, and using their energy, not suppressing it
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:06 PM
5

Go run down to the rock (at the end of the road), or go pick up all the walnuts and throw them in the walnut pile are two remedies I use to get wiggles out temporarily
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 04:30 PM
4

Around that age I find boys suddenly need more exercise and outside play, especially climbing and lifting things (preferably with other little boys). Do you have woods or a bigger playground (not just a slide and swings) you can take him to and let him play in for 2-3 hours a week? If you hike, let him go off trail (within sight) to climb stuff, maybe have a picnic and let him build a fort (good to have older boys or dad to help) And then reminding patiently when he forgets and still roughhouse …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 04:25 PM
6

This is so great!
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/19 06:59 PM
3

You’re saved because Jesus died on the cross for you and has covered your guilt with His holy, precious and innocent blood That you are worrying about whether you have faith or not, shows you do, in a way, because those without faith in Christ and the fruit of repentance are not bothered by their sins and don’t worry at all about their salvation If you do doubt, either Christ’s completed work for you, or whether you’re “doing enough” and showing enough “fruit,” repent and rejoice in God’s Word! …
/r/RPChristians22/03/19 02:33 PM
10

Why in the world are you wasting your time with this dude?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 07:47 PM
1

Exercise routine
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 07:04 PM
1

Hi! Also not Roman Catholic, but frequent communion is very important. The Word of God and Communion have always been central to the gathering of believers Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Reformed/Presbyterian, Eastern Orthodox and Anglican all in their historic confessional forms have communion at least once a week, if not more. Often modern Protestants are surprised to hear this. If you have prot background, the LCMS, ELS, OPC or Anglican (not Episcopalian) synods might be of interest to you.
/r/RPChristians21/03/19 06:43 PM
1

although my mother in law does like mentioning to people that I'm mixed race in an odd, excited way This made me laugh :) Mums and mother-in-law’s are funny
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 06:06 PM
3

Ok, you were more concise than me. Well said.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 05:06 PM
2

I think the hesitation from older folks in the recent past has more to do with concern over how mixed children would be affected and treated than overt racism. Most missionary children I know who grew up in Africa very much prefer that continent (and it’s people) to N America or Europe. Most people I knew who were against mixed marriages though saw the pressure a mixed couple would receive from their respective communities and perhaps hostility the children would grow up in. I don’t think that’s…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 04:55 PM
3

Going to defend the grandmas/yaiyias/omas, etc: The jello with fruit and/or veggies and/or meat (!!!!) was a “update” to gelled broth (ie what we call bone broth). Cold aspic was pretty ordinary back before it was easy to reheat stuff and cold meat/broth wasn’t thought of as gross. Housewives just replaced gelled broth with Jello and so that’s why the 1950s/60s recipes still sometimes have meat or veggies in them, even though we firmly believe today Jello is dessert and only goes with fruit. I a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 11:08 PM
5

Why don’t you just find an apartment for yourself (or is there a financial reason you can’t)? Perhaps his thought to wait a little while and buy a house really is a better plan (I have no idea—depends on the details of both your finances, long term employment, the housing market in your region) and not an excuse. If you move out of your parents’ to an apartment, maybe share rent with a friend, he takes his time, buys a house, you both continue to see each other, etc. and eventually maybe it’s yo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 07:44 PM
6

I think it depends on what your husband likes. Mine likes it when I’m leaning over a laundry basket and he catches me off guard from behind and I tumble right in. I don’t think there’s a YouTube vid for that. I know there’s a thought line: “be sexy for YOU and not anyone else,” but I prefer being sexy for my husband, and his tastes are more fun and goofy than serious I mean, bending/leaning over ANYTHING is sexy if your husband is present interrupting your work—bathtub, kitchen table, washing ma…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 06:53 PM
2

Having female help—a good network of sisters, moms and aunts, even if not by blood— after delivery is super underrated in our culture.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 06:10 PM
2

Perfect answer!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 01:24 PM
2

Thought of some other things: After about month 6 it’s awkward and rather funny—don’t take yourself seriously and embrace the humor of the situation. You’re just going to be more cumbersome and slower. Sex is (kind of absurd if you think about it) play anyway, so it just becomes more exaggerated absurd play during pregnancy There are conditions that really do make sex difficult and awful for a time, in rare cases impossible for a short time ; I have had uneventful, normal pregnancies, and I don’…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/19 01:28 PM
7

I had some where my libido was very high after the initial nausea (one in particular I was a bit of a nuisance about it, and couldn’t be satiated—we laugh about it now, but it wasn’t fun; I was on edge a lot and even was horny right after delivery, which seems extreme) Usually it’s been the same (3-4 times a week) as when I’m not pregnant, except during severe nausea or right at the end when my hip bones and pelvic muscles loosen. One or two pregnancies I haven’t been very aroused or arousing an…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 08:25 PM
5

You sound very serious and grounded for your age with a realistic, practical mindset about dating My dad’s very old fashioned and keeps trying to peddle me off to any one of his friend’s daughters. I wouldn’t discount matchmaking through friends and family. If I were your age or older I would go on all the dates friends would want to set up with me, unless there were huge red flags (like not a Christian, trans, divorced). You don’t have to go on a second date The other tactic I would use is go t…
/r/RPChristians14/03/19 04:42 PM
8

This is a good answer, especially the part about going along with what is expected of you being very feminine
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/19 02:50 PM
3

Your family and future back near your parents sounds idyllic to me :) And I had no idea Poland had a pollution problem.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 05:11 PM
1

This sounds like a fantastic situation and opportunity! Don’t underestimate how wonderful it is to raise your children near blood relatives. My grandmother lived 4 hours away and we were able to see her 5-6 times a year, and she drove to us often, too. Your husband will be fine, I think. You know this rural region better than I do, obviously, but I don’t think English speakers have trouble communicating in Germany, even outside the city, and I would assume gov offices and such would have English…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 04:20 PM
5

Oh, my husband is also unreadable. I kind of like that about him—it’s a little intimidating and exciting. Of course I can read him a lot better now, but there’s still an aspect where his mind and what he’s thinking is a mystery. That can be sexy or annoying as heck (usually a little of both). Your guy probably won’t change in this way, so keep that in mind as you go forward in your relationship
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 04:01 PM
5

My husband (and frankly, I) was a little like this. We’re reserved people. We dated 9 months before kissing, and I brought it up—in a text, no, less. One of the few I sent him and I wish I still had it. Neither of us had dated before and there were 0 libido or attraction problems once things got started. He kissed me first and the next time I saw him I kissed him (rather unchastely). There are nonreligious people who are conservative about sex, which makes the current standards sort of stressful…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 03:56 PM
2

“The next time your woman is in a bad mood, try this: Assume she is not feeling loved.” I’m a woman and it’s taken me years trying to “figure out” my mom and sisters to realize this. Of course, I became a lot more self-aware (and therefore patient) when I realized this. And then the “figuring out” is how that person feels loved (I think it’s a lot more based on individual than the love language general ideas) The trick is that women think we know how we want to be loved (and I’m talking generall…
/r/RPChristians08/03/19 05:13 PM
2

We had a similar experience. Since you waited so long to have kids, why do you think the desire waned so early? Was/is she depressed, did she rebel against what you wanted for your household quickly? Did you relax in some way (fitness, work, etc)?
/r/RPChristians04/03/19 01:47 AM
3

Oh, praise God! I’m so happy for you and your wife. What a wonderful gift Baptism is
/r/RPChristians04/03/19 01:38 AM
1

Exactly. The shadow of the Cross “9Or do you not know that the unrighteousb will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers... and such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” This is what is called the scandal of the Gospel, that the guilty are found innocent because there is a Divine Scapegoat who has taken your place an…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 01:35 AM
26

You’ve maintained celibacy for a long time. This is an important point, and commendable
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 01:24 AM
13

Hi! I know (especially in the man side of the RP sphere, or even here) you’re reading a lot that you have no hope to find a good Christian man to marry; for what man will have someone who has done what you’ve done when they have other options? It is true you might have to face more of a challenge than a girl who didn’t do what you did, and you MAY NOT EVEN MARRY. But that’s not guaranteed; you really don’t know. I was not promiscuous, but had to face this reality that most people marry later now…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 12:57 AM
14

You’re also wasting his time (and money). It’s not kind (or high value) to continue if you are not attracted to him
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 12:38 AM
1

I think he just was thinking an ultimatum is the way to fix the problem, and not thinking what would happen if it doesn’t work Men need wise older married men to help them in these situations (and women, too, can help younger wives), not just a flowchart of how get what you want Being the spouse with the higher drive, even temporarily, is no joke. I find, though, there are two types of married Christians: those for whom divorce is an option, something in their back pocket, just in case, and thos…
/r/RPChristians03/03/19 11:23 PM
2

All very good advice! I especially like “Could you find a place to volunteer that would allow you to care for people?” Old or young (or in between)
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 09:55 PM
1

I didn’t get that impression from the OP, but maybe you’re right. People still seemed shocked about parents leaving their children, so I thought maybe he hadn’t thought it through
/r/RPChristians03/03/19 08:11 PM
–

I like being a woman and find being content in that physical state satisfying and fulfilling. In that sense I suppose we have different philosophical presuppositions. I believe people can determine a lot of their fate in life, but we still have limitations and boundaries—the ability to captain our fate isn’t boundless, and we can’t do anything we will. Obviously if “my biology” turned against me and produce aberrant cells or unmanageable pain I would seek medical treatment. So far, everything wo…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 08:09 PM
–

(Also, good idea for a bridal gift, especially if you have nice handwriting)
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 03:01 PM
–

I love to hand write and this is a great idea
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 03:00 PM
–

I’m INTP and I take both “red pill” and the mbti categories as helpful but extremely limited general descriptions. People who get really, really into either one can be...limiting themselves, or even use as excuses for their behavior. Mostly they are useful for self-improvement, especially if you are a self-aware person. For example, I am also a 9w1, and that helped me to realize I had bad feelings about my husband when he was gone too much for work—just his physical presence washed all that away…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 02:59 PM
2

Congratulations on the new baby! I can think of fewer wonderful things in life than having a real-life tangible blessing of your marriage union. How has the transition been going for both of you? Do you have relatives or churh family around to help out? How is the new baby’s temperament “Utilize my God-given abilities to improve the lives of others and reflect Christ through actions and words at all times. Need a wife for support in the areas I tend to lack (networking, hospitality, and a good 1…
/r/RPChristians02/03/19 09:23 PM
1

Yes, I can think of 3-4 people I know who were widowed in their 30s-50sand were very specific about looking for a new spouse (I suppose because their first marriage were good ). These remarriages both do and do not include children
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 08:24 PM
0

Some men really like very slim, girlish looks (my dad is one of them; my mom was 105 and 5’7 when they married); others like some flesh to sink their fingers into (my husband is a little more like this, although maybe he’s adapted to my fleshing out after pregnancies; I was 125–probably my ideal weight, he knew me when I was 108, too— and 5’6 when we married)
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 06:48 PM
3

I have many children, and the childless-not-by-choice people in my life have unexpectedly become a part of my circle, and good friends. Three of my kids’ godmother (she married in her 40s) likes to play grandparent and sit for me every few months while I run errands, my widowed/single worldly and cosmopolitan aunts in FL love the valentines, pics and other paraphanalia we send, and they like to share the culture they love (one is an artist, the other a sort of former socialite). Do you have niec…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 05:27 PM
4

Right. I know housewives who do all the finances, even though they don’t make the $, I have 0 fear of my husband leaving me and I know he feels the same, so that insecurity is not present
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/19 01:23 AM
4

Those weren’t the cons I was thinking, except maybe for unappreciated work, which isn’t as big of a deal for me as it used to be cons: isolation (most women work outside the home in my neighborhood), perceived “low value” (housewife isn’t really valued in our culture—can’t do anything about that), not having external pressure to do my job and needing a lot of self-discipline, the house constantly being lived in
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/19 01:22 AM
3

Listen to your dad! (He probably has other good advice, too)
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 07:10 PM
3

Yes, but I assume you told her it was over and she kept bothering you. I don’t think that’s ghosting. Ghosting would have been just one day completely ignoring and avoiding her after dating for 4 years, which would be odd
/r/RPChristians28/02/19 04:09 PM
3

What area of the country do you live? Does your husband want children? (Questions you don’t have to answer) If you’re not living in SF or NYC or LA or other such impossible place to afford a family, I would start living on just his income, save yours, go off the BC and see what happens. One infant and two adults can live on 50k for a few years in most areas of the country (perhaps renting and not owning, perhaps by going on vacays for 5 years or so, maybe selling a car, shopping only second hand…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 03:41 PM
3

I left a huge comment making this point and I see you have made it much more succinctly. Hope you get lots and lots of upvotes so people see it!
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 03:23 PM
2

This is assuming a lot goes exactly as planned. It doesn’t. And I’m not sure about saving for only 10 years (!?)
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 03:22 PM
6

For the middle class and poor, that was mostly in cities, and the majority of people—at least in the US—lived on farms. Others even in the city ran small businesses and shops, and lived above or behind it. So, yes, the women worked, but not exactly as a “working woman” does now. They were able to be the primary caretakers of their babies, or older daughters or cousins or the girl—who needed a little income to help her own family—next door helped. I believe that’s the desire of the OP: to be pres…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 03:11 PM
6

I kind of agree with this. Men supporting their families 100% shoulder a huge amount of responsibility we housewives can’t imagine
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 10:33 PM
1

Yes! Me too
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 10:30 PM
1

Ok, please forgive me (genuine apology). I actually didnt know you don’t do that, though, because I don’t know you.
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 10:08 PM
2

I’m glad you all are still friendly and love each other, even with disagreements It upsets me to no end how many of my generation (even Christians!) bail on their blood relatives when things get difficult
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 10:04 PM
2

I wonder why you wouldn’t just use “celibate” instead of “MGTOW”? The former is thousands of years old, the latter a recent internet acronym I’ve concluded you haven’t entered the convo in good faith, BUT a celibate man is still called to be a brother to his sister, and a son to his mother, etc. Celibate describes forgoing a sexual relationship and raising a family (ie marriage), whereas the other term suggests not dealing with any women at all, which is most certainly not how Paul and Jesus liv…
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 09:06 PM
1

Edited to remove false accusation
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 08:59 PM
1

I agree. I thought the OP was baiting the sub, and simply agreed with him that celibacy is a valid Christian vocation, which should not be controversial in the church. His reasons may begin quite apart from trusting in God, but a life of self-discipline can mature a person, including in faith. If marriage is the flip side of celibacy (which I believe it is), then a similar circumstance can happen with a couple marrying perhaps wrecklessly, but growing together in their marriage into something qu…
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 08:52 PM
3

This sounds like a great plan!
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 06:58 PM
3

“Everyone’s working hard” I’ll add, unless they’re not! There are certainly men (or women!) who let their spouse do all the home stuff, even when both work. And there are lazy housewives (it’s a true cliche I’ve been (am?)guilty of) Sometimes imposing discipline on oneself is difficult and it’s easier to be employed outside the home for that external pressure and praise. I get that.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 06:54 PM
4

Yeah, it’s hard. I think the housewives know that more than anyone
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 06:49 PM
19

Yes, the standard of living is different. People ask us all the time if we will upgrade to a bigger home, because our family is big and the layout is old fashioned, not open, but separated rooms. (Almost 2k square feet, all brick, beautiful woodwork.) Um, no.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 06:48 PM
3

I know many women who didn’t realize they wanted to stay home with their children until after the debt had accumulated. There are a lot of families who really need two incomes to pay student loans, past mistakes,etc (there are a lot who don’t, either, but think they do...). I always assume the two incomes is really necessary Everyone working hard and pitching in, whether home or not, and being realistic about what they can afford is the key. I’ve had resentment toward the women who flood job mar…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 06:42 PM
8

Great! Celibacy is a time-tested tradition in Christianity, and you have some great company, ie Paul, Jesus
/r/RPChristians27/02/19 01:42 AM
2

Those are interesting categories, and except for maybe friendship, overlap a lot, and are interconnected in a marriage. For example, sex can either create or happen because of the rest
/r/RPChristians26/02/19 09:12 PM
2

Daily bathing wasn’t a thing here, either, which is why people washed up before meals (not just hands), at least in certain areas of the Midwest. They certainly didn’t shampoo their hair every day like we do. As someone who has hand washed cloth diapers, I sympathize with that poop-only thing, even though it’s gross. Washing machines are wonderful for hygiene! I wonder sometimes about diaper rashes and soft water and detergent though—maybe just rinsing out with scalding hot water would be enough…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 06:44 PM
2

Oh, I live in a lower to middle class neighborhood and I talk with everyone. I also married up into a solid middle class family from a lower middle class. I don’t judge anyone, I have 8 kids and the messiest house on the block, I’m sure, without seeing everyone else’s house It’s just a cultural shift of what is expected and I think it has to do with time—how much time we spend on home maintentance, etc. People feel they have better things to do than iron sheets and underwear (a rather extreme ex…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 03:56 PM
3

Listen to your mom!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 09:31 PM
5

“that things done right look like they're supposed to. That if someone doesn't notice what you've done, you did it correctly.” So great!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 07:25 PM
3

That’s good. I think it’s less expected both of children and young adults in the US than it used to be, but some of that just maybe be styles of dress (ie wearing tennis shoes or sweatpants anywhere but the gym, pony tails and messy buns). Most of my middle class friends don’t make their children make their bed every morning, for example, even if they do. My dad and his siblings and all cousins (working class city kids) were expected to. Also, washing face before meals, not grazing, but eating a…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 07:23 PM
1

That’s just we’re sinners who don’t always enjoy doing what is good. Doing what is right can be a chore for our Old Man But the New Man rejoices in taking to our Father our needs Christ is always interceding for us, as is the rest of the Church. We are joining our prayers to His, and can only approach the Father as a father because Christ is our brother and intercedes for us as our Priest So our imperfect prayers (when we’re being selfish in our requests or bored with thanking God for his gifts,…
/r/RPChristians25/02/19 04:47 PM
3

I realize I haven’t answered your actual question: Tell your husband what you told us, being careful not to frame it as him not helping enough Take his solutions and advice to heart. I don’t think disrespect from wives comes in the asking for help, but morein the dismissal of advice, because he “just doesn’t get it,” or “I’m not going to do that.” Just try what he suggests And there’s a chance what’s bothering him isn’t bothering you and vice versa. Maybe communicating what YOU need (sleep and t…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:52 PM
2

Also, you can put your toddler in a booster seat with toys or food while you shower, even if he screams or cries at first. When he insists on something, you can consider it, then reject it and have him do something else, because you’re the mom and know more about how a house should run than he does! (It’s ok. I will end a conversation with a kid sometimes with, “why am I arguing with an 8 year old? Go clean up the mess you made, etc” Kids of all ages are persuasive, and I have to remind myself I…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:41 PM
3

Lots of great comments and suggestions! We cosleep and there’s usually a toddler in the room, too, in a pack n play (we have a lot of kids). I also babywear and feed on demand BUT Babies crying and learning to put themselves to sleep right around your baby’s age is ok. Around 6-7 months I nurse the baby to sleep and then let him cry to sleep (he wakes when I put him in bed) for both naps. After three days the crying lasts about 3 minutes and is pretty half-hearted.Then he’s in bed sometime betwe…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:36 PM
3

Baby grins cover a multitude of messes
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:23 PM
7

I don’t think it’s just feminism, I think it’s just not valuing doing those daily (admittedly stodgy, boring) routine things. Self-discipline and not understand the daily washing face, breakfast always at a certain time, always making bed, etc. I think there used to besome class enforcement, where a certain self-respecting neatness and basic grooming was expected and enforced in the middle classes Edited to add: I absolutely agree with you; I’ve known this a long time, but haven’t done a lot to …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:20 PM
11

In with you!! And I was thinking (although maybe not with urgency, as I should have) exactly as you are 10 years ago with a toddler and baby on the way. And here I am, my house still occupies space (waaaay too much) in my head. It’s basically all I think about, which is bad I’ve had spurts of success keeping house, and they hinge on: -routine. Flylady, bullet journal, timers. Trying hard to building habits and doing the same thing every day, but NOT throwing it all out the window when one day ge…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 03:13 PM
3

It’s not always “rational” to wait until xyz qualifications are met ( according to class and region), it’s just more socially acceptable. These qualifications can be engagement, marriage, certain personal experiences experienced, x amount in savings, owning a house, having certain degrees, having certain job security, etc etc You’re free to change your mind without it 100% being hormonedriven. I rationally (my brain and life goals) wanted a family, but I had that wanderlust making me second gues…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 11:15 PM
3

It seems maybe this relationship won’t work out, if you want to marry and start a family earlier and he does not If you moved in together to see if you were truly compatible before marrying, perhaps you are receiving your answer People seem to treat a desire for a husband and kids as emotional or hormonal driven if you at one time did not want those things. But between 18 and 22 a lot of us change and grow and find out what we truly desire as we mature.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 09:11 PM
2

It helps to attach prayer to obvious daily habits: waking, bed and meals means an automatic 5 times a day
/r/RPChristians24/02/19 08:53 PM
1

The psalms are the prayer book written by God, with a few millennia track record of use by the Church. Can’t go wrong there
/r/RPChristians24/02/19 08:51 PM
2

This looks good
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 02:56 PM
1

Close Reads by the Circe Institute is my very favorite. A literature reading group, and incidentally Christian, but I feel anyone who enjoy literature could enjoy it. I read (ahem, listen in audible) to a much wider variety of literature than I would otherwise. Good for binging while doing weekend house projects Also Circe Institute quality pods: Mason Jar (homeschool Charlotte Mason topics, but I just love the mom who hosts; she’s what I would like to be, laid back and pliable to circumstances …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 02:51 PM
2

Pray the psalms
/r/RPChristians23/02/19 01:44 PM
1

Whenever we encounter a female “pastor,” (pastorix) we tell our kids they are pretending. Not in the fun way, but the pathetic way where they don’t realize they aren’t actually what they think they are, and they embarrass themselves without realizing it And that women can be pastors in the same way men can be mothers or women kings. It’s a categorical error
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 11:13 PM
1

I don’t think 8 and under need to watch any TV/movies. The only wholesome shows, I’ve concluded, are Andy Griffith and The Sound of Music
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 11:07 PM
1

A good rule is to only read books out loud you enjoy, too
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 11:05 PM
1

Haha, yes. But not this young; maybe 12-14. And then again at 30
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 11:05 PM
1

Bible stories Many books before 1960 are pretty good—innocent adventures and accomplishments and especially bravery. Boys love those themes We have 8 kids under 12 and don’t really separate the “girls books” from the “boys books.” They will naturally gravitate to what they like. Sometimes our boys will read books with a heroine. No worries. A good book is a good book Our absolute favorite read-out-louds : Little House books, especially 1-4 (beautiful American literature—nothing like the TV show,…
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 11:04 PM
6

He's always mentioning this to me "I am going to die before a lot of people and I want to do what I want" He says he gave up that to be with me All in the effort to keep him and make him happy. This all sounds like really bad news, especially the first part with him making you feel guilty for him staying with you because of his health issue. He could leave you over cheating. If he stays (which he did) he can’t use your guilt as power over you Either be with him or not, but the holding things ove…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 06:17 PM
1

I don’t know why it’s hasn't been republished.
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 02:48 PM
1

I’m not your wife, but I think I would despair if my husband did this
/r/RPChristians22/02/19 12:44 PM
2

This is so important.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/19 10:32 PM
1

I think the second one is more successful, with the caveat that I don’t think men can be just friends with women. So even the nonromantic stage has potential to become something else
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/19 10:27 PM
6

If I were looking to marry and over 28 (and especially out of school), I would go on dates with multiple men, but not necessarily date multiple men at once, until I found one I wanted to date exclusively I don’t think women in college and grad school need to do this, though, although there might be an argument for figuring out what sort of companion you like and practicing good social graces, etc, by going on dates with different men 2-3 times a week (And by going on dates, like the OP, I’m not …
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/19 10:19 PM
3

I agree.You’re either married or you’re not
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 07:08 PM
1

“This will destroy my kids and/or my spouse” is the usual reason I hear. That’s very different than “my kids and/or spouse will think less of me.” The practical questions re: dating, finances, etc are pretty relevant and should be faced that way—practically. Most people err on the side of optimism when it comes to what happens after a divorce. I agree with you that divorce can be discouraged and curbed by social structures and mores. That’s different than saying “I didn’t divorce because I was a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 01:25 PM
1

“Yes, but I wouldn't avoid getting one simply because of what others might think of me” I don’t think this why anyone avoids divorce
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/19 05:44 AM
6

Yes, I’ve had 8 and only with the first (3rd degree tear into the vagina, and sewed up tight) and the 4th did first penetration hurt a little (but not as bad as being a virgin), but not at all after that first time resuming sex. A lot of foreplay helps. I can’t remember doing a lot of quickies before the baby is 6-7 months As far as libido, it’s all over the place for when you’re ready, although exhaustion is a factor for frequency. One kid I believe I had a surge of testosterone with and I want…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 10:26 PM
3

You sound like a great girlfriend and daughter!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 02:36 PM
3

My husband is similar to yours in career and some interests and skills, except he reads literature and has a pretty good working knowledge of...everything. We tend to have long conversations about good movies, books, music, theology, even tv shows. I don’t really talk web dev with him or other work-related things unless he brings up a (interpersonal, usually) work problem to solve We’ve been married 13 years, so we also have some mutual history, which helps the conversation :) Sometimes, too, I …
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 02:37 AM
2

Do you tell him when he asks what you’re thinking?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/19 11:16 PM
1

I was in my first year of grad school, newly married and expecting our first. I also had under 10k in school debt and my dad helped out with most of that (enabling me to marry sooner, I believe). I had already been abroad three times (when 18, 19, and 22). I sometimes wish I had had more savings,but bringing almost no debt to the marriage, and the formative nature of how travel really shaped who I am was invaluable, so no regrets The shit-together list is great; I intend to work harder on some o…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/19 07:25 PM
1

I do this and for me it’s trying to understand (both his and mine) the reasons behind the actions so I can not do it again Not sure if that actually happens by talking about it so much (me not repeating the problem)
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/19 04:04 AM
5

My husband was my first kiss (at 22). No regrets, it’s pretty great
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 10:22 PM
3

Man, you are living the life! An early goal of mine that has gotten sidetracked, but I’m planning a garden for this year.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 10:10 PM
1

This is a tough situation. I don’t have answers, but my cousin and her husband have a similar dynamic of moving a lot for her career, and it has really hurt his career.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 05:24 PM
1

I agree with this sentiment in general, but as mentioned in other areas of shared life, “the one who cares most...” I don’t mean that our husbands don’t care for their children, just in the situation described above a wife might be freaking out (because of that instinctual drive to take care of crying hungry baby at all costs, but also upset because her work thus far to get a good routine for her son seemed to be taking two steps backward) while a husband does not see that there is a problem at …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 05:22 PM
1

Do you work? A tiny bit of side tutoring, 2% of our income Do you hire outside help? We have hired high schoolers for one-time big yard projects; I pay my mom to watch the toddlers and preschooler 3 mornings a week. Future house renovations will all be through a contractor How did you determine your division of labor? Are there any chores you or your SO refuse to do? Because I’m home, I do the home stuff, my husband works (pretty long hours). We’ve never sat down and divided anything up. He took…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 04:47 PM
3

This is a great thread and I’m going to share with some friends who are discouraged with their dating experiences!
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 04:18 PM
1

That last paragraph cracked me up
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 01:26 AM
2

Getting your license will be useful when your son is older and ready for a larger exploring/learning area and experiences
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 01:22 AM
3

Journelle
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 01:14 AM
2

Can your husband hold the baby while you put the child to sleep? Mine is pretty resilient to any crying and is happy to hold a baby while reading or resting while I tend to other kids It might be stressful at first, but a small price to pay to get your oldest on a good schedule.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/19 11:04 PM
2

Because people are great. All people I didn’t say anything about the children being poor. You were saying you only contribute to society if the return benefits you with money or resources, and children do not do that, ergo...no rational reason to have children. I’m saying I’m ok with putting all my resources into raising people, with nothing to show for it when I’m finished There are a lot of “poor people” whose standard of living is more like the middle class 40 years ago; they just choose good…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 02:21 PM
1

Genuine question, not trolling you: doesn’t this assume a second, and male, parent is only present to provide material good? If a child well-provided for, but with only a mother, will receive (in general) exactly the same (good) upbringing as a two parent with a father home? If this is a straw man, why? (Also, not asking about same sex marriages, just one woman with material sufficient resources vs two parents with sufficient material resources)
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 03:36 AM
2

“I only contribute to society, because in return I get something - money and resources“ This is the fundamental divide in this disagreement, the root of our differing premises, and what “the good life” is. I’m quite happy dying poor with 8 kids, even if they all abandon me in my old age. But I don’t think it’s the primary point of the OP; I believe she was asking if you can be “RP” and still be childfree by choice. That depends on one’s definition of “RP”—whether it’s an overarching philosophy e…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 02:13 AM
2

Also, one of my kids’ favorite books is “Miss Rumphius,” about a lady who sounds like that 90 year old. Do you attend religious services or other weekly meetups that include kids? A woman who married late in life and so was not able to have biological children “adopted” our family to help out with wiggly kids in church while my husband played organ. 9 years later she and her husband are the godparents of three of our children and we joke about adopting them as our third set of grandparents/“bonu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 12:51 AM
2

I’m so sorry. I admire your approach to your sorrow and striving to be content. Many people mourn and have regrets for a lot of different reasons, and learning to face it and cope and find joy in what you have is very courageous
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 12:41 AM
4

Love your added note in the end—so true I’ll add a lot of people have a narrow view of “date.” In the early years of our marriage, when the kids were under 6, a date night at home was very easy. Kids asleep at 8, take in and a movie, or adult-only dinner made by me, or games, or just sitting around talking, or working on a project together. I usually would be nursing the baby until around 9-10, then the last couple hours were just mom and dad alone. We have upstairs bedrooms, so that provides ph…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 01:52 PM
3

That used to be an every Friday night ritual, games or no games—and probably my most successful feminine initiation tactic. And today is Friday! My comment sounds morose/whiny—no angst over it, just reflecting. A husband is an individal with a distinct personality, and wives have to discern (or just ask) what advice to use and what to not Great post, Zegiknie!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 01:42 PM
3

I know a doctor who is married to a doctor who stayed home with her three children and home schooled them. She was often asked if she ever feels like she wasted her time in school, or took another’s spot (presumedly someone who would actually use their degree). She always just said, “no,” without trying to justify her life choices to critics.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 03:15 AM
2

We do the homemade cards and exchange them with each other and our kids. Our anniversary is the dinner date event, and we usually do a weekend getaway once every 18 months or so
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 02:29 AM
4

I gave up a game once because it was 2am and I was 7 months pregnant with restless legs (we were playing with other people, so it still went a bit longer). I think that was one of only two times I’ve seen my husband angry with me. I’m sure it’s fine for some marriages, but my husband is pretty serious about playing a game straight, and I learned that my first year of marriage (I never beat him anyway, so I guess it’s a moot point—I think he’s given up playing board games with me because he suspe…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 02:01 AM
7

Women, too
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 02:44 AM
2

I do this sometimes, but I like that wording, and will use it tomorrow
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 02:43 AM
–

F: Ham hock and bean soup with cornbread S: fried rice and cabbage with leftover pork and veggies S: eggs and sausage and oven fries M: homemade meatball sandwiches T: frozen pizza W: leftovers Th: seasoned chicken, applesauce and peas F: chili
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 02:09 AM
–

You can freeze it in ice trays, then keep them in ziplock bags in the freezer
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 02:00 AM
3

Yes, what is it? Like the philosophical concept of femininity? I’m 35 and never heard of it
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/19 07:23 PM
2

Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/19 06:57 PM
3

Drive and biology are also a factor. A woman with a very high IQ may not be driven or even interested in chess tournaments, etc. A woman also has female biology preventing her from pursuing large projects or long-term intellectual achievements. Not saying it’s impossible, but there’s a reason feminism hinges on birth control and abortion. Our biology constricts us from achieving the same successes as male IQ equivalents, or at least used to I’m not one to pit the uterus against the brain; I thin…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/19 04:15 PM
1

“I am not practicing on nearly the same level. I use the religion more as a general guide for my life, and it is important to me, but it isn’t the strict set of rules it is for them. They don’t know that though, because to avoid conflict, I never bring up my differences.” Here is your problem. It’s going to come across as you capitulating to your boyfriend and settling (in their mind) for less. Which is understandably a concern for any friends and family. If someone makes drastic life changes fo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/19 07:52 PM
1

I would just not respond. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and although many people hold that opinion, I find it passive and manipulative to mention when already deciding to go your separate ways. It could be the guys you’re dating are very young (under 25?) and have no intention of looking for a wife or even girlfriend right now. Perhaps an older man would be less put off that you are not promiscuous, and they might actually value that I’m religious, so it wasn’t too hard to find a husband …
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/19 06:31 PM
2

I don’t know if I would consider maternity leave as an accurate test run for how much you can save staying home. We always end up spending more the first month after having a baby
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/19 03:04 AM
3

Liver and onions well prepared is really delicious. Like meatloaf, I think it gets a bad wrap from poor prep
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/19 12:22 AM
60

This is a good example of general advice vs. what a certain man wants. Always go with what your man wants over the “generic red pill wisdom.”
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 04:49 PM
–

Restarting my bullet journal today. I know some might argue it’s not really “for me,” but it totally is. Fancy ink pen and doodles and lists and an awesome leather bound tome with graph paper pages. It includes lists of “books read” and poems I want to memorize and little kid anecdotes Also, making a cherry pie for my dad’s birthday. Usually I make a cobbler or crisp (dump it all together), but am going to splurge on making a crust (and wear a pretty apron doing it). I was going to deliver it to…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 04:43 PM
–

Do you hydrate more on the hot bath days? I find myself parched the morning after a hot bath the night before, even after drinking an extra glass of water, and even after moisturizing (I’m nursing and have a cold, and nursing a baby with a cold, so could just need to triple the water) I really enjoy lavender oil in my bath salts these days
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 04:19 PM
5

“Should I even try to get them to see things my way?” No, but grandchildren seem to cover a multitude of sins, so you’ve got that going for you Adult children choosing their own lives is one of the ways parents can suffer, worrying their kids aren’t getting the best they think life can offer. Emphasizing what values you both share (reading, self discipline, localism...) will help them know you are grateful for all they gave you, even if you have not chosen the exact path they want I assume your …
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/19 02:36 PM
5

Well said
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/19 02:30 PM
2

Good reminder for us all how destructive and wicked gossip is, preventing the hurting from seeking comfort from friends. I’m sorry You still have a softness to you, because I can hear you only wish to be comforted by your husband, and be vulnerable to him, to heal the hurt he caused. That’s good. I’m always so frightened when I feel bitterness, contempt or apathy growing in me. I think it’s a big temptation for many women, even those who haven’t been through what you have.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/19 10:31 PM
4

From what I gather from your OP, he cheated once (which is very bad!), and hasn’t since? (Versus continual affairs) That’s a big deposit toward earning your trust You would like some tenderness and regard from him to help you know he still loves you (very understandable; probably necessary for any woman to recover fully and find confidence in her marriage again.) Perhaps he is a hard man, but perhaps he also does not know how to love you besides providing and remaining faithful. That’s very comm…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/19 09:37 PM
5

Lovely, wise post, showing much empathy AND sympathy.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/19 08:59 PM
3

If your residency is locked in, I assume he will be choosing a grad school near where your residency is, so you can marry after he’s done with his prerequisites If it’s not, you can arrange for both your residency and grad school to be in the same area, and marry within the next couple years I think dating four years,long distance, is not doable. I agree with him not to move in together. Great he’ll be meeting your family! You can get some feedback from them
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 04:49 PM
5

I’m not understanding how you think it would interfere with a ltr. Too much time and head space on writing and recording? Touring, if that’s part of your plans? When you say profound do you mean widespread professional recognition, or just profound in that it satisfies what you are trying to express and it is similarly satisfying to those who hear it? I don’t think the actual art itself would at all interfere with a marriage; what might is ambition for and promotion of the art, which would take …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 04:12 AM
7

Most great, profound art wasn’t appreciated for what it is immediately. Bach was trying to get paid to support his family; ditto Shakespeare. Often there was a practical impulse behind creating, not Great Art for its own sake. I don’t see how creativity contradicts with femininity. I will say most of THE great women artists weren’t very maternal (ie didn’t have kids or weren’t attentive mothers—Jane Austen and Flannery OConor come to mind as unmarried not by their own choice). That doesn’t mean …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 02:03 AM
2

Seems pretty on topic to me! Congrats!
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 12:06 AM
1

For the record, I was a stay at home wife when my husband made 32k, but we live in a part of the country where cost of living is very low
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/19 05:35 PM
1

I think his strategy and priorities are very old fashioned (I mean that in a good way). There used to be a lot more opportunity for people to work their way up right out of high school I don’t know what the job market is in Florida, but he might want to do some practice interviews next time he visits you. He might have a hard time getting his foot in the door w/o an undergrad degree (but perhaps his position at his current employer is enough for his field) You need to be honest with yourself whe…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/19 05:33 PM
1

Would you live in Florida when you married? Could you move to someplace in the area that has a lower cost of living? Are your family in FL? I think it’s very doable to be a stay at home wife for 7 years or so on $60k, then return to working part time when the kids enter school, boosting your income to $80-$90k (I don’t know how much you make) Who will care for his parents when he marries you? Is he intending to move them to the states?Or are you intending to move there? If so, perhaps you’re rig…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/19 04:21 PM
3

This is how I have trained myself to look forward to bedtime (not my favorite time of the day), by reading chapter books to the kids while nursing the baby. I alternate between fantasy and realistic fiction series, with some elementary biography and nature nonfiction thrown in. We’re doing the Green Knowe series now.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 02:09 AM
2

My kids would go through night terrors and sleep walking at that age, then outgrew it Listening to a story in the dark has always been #1 foolproof way to get my kids quiet and keep still. I have to push bedtime to earlier to make time for it...also very quiet conversation, like you describe I often will sit in the hallway in the dark even after storytime is done, to police activity My husband’s method is way less hands on, but they fall asleep around the same time, so... Some of my kids have be…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/19 09:06 PM
2

His stubbornness over being responsible with money is a big problem. Also, you most likely will resent him for lack of intellectual conversation down the road, when you can’t connect via sex 3x a day Physical therapy would take 8 years? (Side note, if he’s working while going to school, you can start your family before 30. You should be relatively financially secure, but you don’t have to follow graduate—>job—->house——>dog——>kids. Doesn’t seem like he’s be interested in working while going to sc…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/19 03:05 PM
7

I’ve read Kristin Lavransdatter (three times) and finally this year Jane Eyre (always snubbed the Brontes for Austen, even through English grad school), and the last of the feminine trilogy I hope to tackle in 2019 is Anna Karenina. Many women I admire say one or a number of these books very much influenced how they approach “womanliness” and how to be feminine, and also how to understand their husbands I have one complaint on my husband’s personal habits I try to only bring up playfully, but it…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/19 03:28 AM
2

I think how you see your father is natural. You don’t have to fight it, just knowing you might be idealizing him will help if a few years down the road you realize he’s not perfect. I’m not sure that anything but age, experience, and getting married helped me understand how complex marriages and my parents are; I’m not really part of that part of my parents’ life, and my initial impulse to give my dad advice (!) was outrageously presumptious and arrogant (and ironically disrespectful) But I do t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/19 09:17 PM
5

Practice. I actually think living close to my parents helps because it’s not High Drama twice a year at holidays like I hear about some of my friends who live far away from their hometown (or angry phone calls). I see her on her good behavior, too. Sometimes I lose my temper and take the bait when she fishes for a fight, but I know it’s my fault because I know she acts this way (and she really doesn’t know, unbelievably so. She’s just a ball of reactive feelings, living in the moment) The other …
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/19 03:25 PM
3

Make sure people know you’re single and looking Go on a lot of dates Dating sites; my catholic friend met someone she married there. She moved to his town after corresponding for 6 months—and a few visits. I think they were engaged a year later. It was an area of the country she loved anyway, and she got a really good job, so wasn’t a bust if the relationship didn’t work out College groups (even if you’re not in school anymore—you can get involved with the organization like Cru or Intervarsity o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/19 02:52 PM
6

I agree with the comments that you need to be careful when giving advice to a parent; it takes an incredible amount of humility and self-awareness to take advice from a child, and it doesn’t sound like your mother would respond well to criticism My mom is like yours, and I was completely on my dad’s side at your age, and now 15 years later (and married 13 years myself), I see it’s more nuanced than mom:difficult dad:long suffering. There are aspects of your parents’ marriage you don’t even know …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 06:00 PM
1

You both sound extremely passive aggressive
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 02:13 AM
2

Well, that is a problem, but not a serious one. My husband and I are both like you, but I think clean-as-you-go is superior and I’m trying to retrain myself to do that. We have a different sort of life than you, though, so the piling up the mess and then cleaning all at once has caught up with us and we can’t keep up anymore. (We have many children) Anyway, your husband has a fair point. If he is really washing all his dishes as he uses them and tidies up a room when he’s finished, etc, it’s not…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 02:00 AM
3

I think you need to stop trying to get internet strangers to be on your side Sometimes extreme situations mean a baby or toddler will be in their crib all day for a day (one day) while mom is dog sick. Or snuggling on the couch while watching a movie together. But you’re asking a lot of the same questions across subreddits and you’ve been getting a lot of the same advice (you’re in a bad position, get out), but keep asking about individual scenarios, trying to get strangers to side with you. At …
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 05:26 AM
3

“but I also want him to be willing to wait for me to feel comfortable enough to have sex.” A reasonable request (I waited until I was married, and married someone I’m very well matched to, and even “married up”). I respect how you’re going about this, and you should consider that whether this relationship works out or not, the time improving yourself and discovering who you want to be won’t be a waste. Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 04:16 AM
1

“Shit-testing” or “fitness-testing” and how to deal with those was a super helpful concept for me as both a teacher and parent. Everyone shit tests subconsciously, not just wives to husbands.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 02:59 AM
2

Well, I assume you married because you loved him and were attracted to him
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 01:11 AM
6

I think this is completely something you can work through. The buried lede in your post is that he’s doing great at his job and you’re having a lot of sex (relatively, even though it’s not as much as you like) and he’s fit and healthy. I was expecting you to say he was unemployed and not looking for a job and/or you had sex every 3 weeks, or he was a workaholic and only worked and gamed, and was obese and didn’t shower every day The sexting is by far the biggest issue. Does he agree it was wrong…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 01:06 AM
4

You can change your domineering personality toward him (perhaps channel the type A tendencies toward work, projects in your house, hobbies). While personalities might not change drastically, I do think you can control your behavior in order to accomplish things and goals (in this case, attract this man). Fake it until you make it is better advice than be true to yourself IN SOME circumstance. I would eat Culver’s every day if I were truly being true to myself. I’m not advocating bait and switch.…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 04:05 PM
2

My mom had us at 30, 33, and 36 I had mine at 24, 26, 27, 29, 31, 32, 33, and 34 I have a friend who is expecting her 9th in a few weeks (no treatments), and she got married at 30. Her story is alittle extreme, but just to show her 30s were by no means infertile Anecdotes, I know. I think doing the next good thing is what you should focus on: finishing your degree, and taking steps to figure out if your bf is someone you can marry/would make a good husband and father. Dragging your feet on that …
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 04:16 AM
1

“I always knew when my parents were arguing even though they didn’t do it in front of us.“ So true!
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/18 02:27 PM
2

Living in a town with seemingly endless homeschool resources (including from public schools) does help. I hear about some areas of the country where parents do not have any of those resources
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 04:03 PM
2

I know a lot of homeschool families who decided to put one, some, or all of their kids in school, and it’s worked out for every single family. I think the lesson is to have the humility and wisdom, in addition to good communication with your spouse, to know when something needs to change. That’s hard to figure out, and I applaud parents who have the awareness to know when to make that change (pull out of school, or put in school, or figure out a hybrid that works) One anecdote is boys often (not…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 06:42 AM
3

I love your breakfast schedule! I would like everyone at the table together, breakfast as our meal together, but that’s not possible right now, so staggering might be a good alternative
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 03:43 PM
3

I think not being afraid should be your first goal—no worrying! Then gathering info; be involved, get to know other parents at school, be a presence (it’s work, I know!) Then, if you have concrete concerns you have noticed, bring it up to your husband. And look ahead to how the upper grades are, and what trends are going on there, if it aligns with your values. I don’t think you should fear something that may not be happening yet.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 03:03 PM
19

I was homeschooled K through high school and went to state colleges through MA. We’re homeschooling our kids now, and I have a sister who teaches at a public high school and a best friend at a public middle school Our city’s schools are dangerous, and most of the day is spent on discipline, so not putting our kids there is a no brainer. We can’t afford private school. We value living in our hometown, blocks away from my husband’s job, miles away from museums and parks, and a very low mortgage.. …
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 02:56 PM
2

I’ve fallen into a lot of soups and stews or roasts in the winter, grilling in the summer. My sister started a habit as a college student preparing all her lunches Sunday/Sunday night by making a big pot of soup and freezing 5 jelly jars for each day of the week. She works full time and still does that for lunches. I would add jar salads to that (you can google them, layered salads in a jar) I’m feeding a lot of people, but I do find centering a week’s meals (or half a week) around 1) roast (chi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/18 02:31 PM
3

Oh, my recommendation wasn’t to you specifically, just a general observation. Being content with what you have is a good thing, whether with 1, 2 or 8 😊
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 08:28 PM
2

I don’t think men think of future children the same way women do, even those who vaguely want a family. It just doesn’t cross their minds (Maybe I’m wrong)
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 06:24 PM
2

Interesting. I knew expats who raised their children in the Netherlands and homeschooled (illegally), and sent them to American colleges. This was 15 years ago, so I do not know what they are doing now, assuming some of their youngest kids are still in secondary school
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 06:17 PM
1

Do it! You can even wear a beautiful dress to the courthouse, or have your clergy marry you privately at your church, just with your witnesses and child present, then treat them to a fancy restaurant afterwards You don’t even have to have a wedding, just a big reception, with your family and friends, later. I would do this if I were ever widowed and happened to remarry
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 02:54 PM
4

Yes, I homeschool. I think the most difficulties I have right now (since my kids are in the dating age yet), is my oldest daughter picking up someone’s low level scorn at my being a housewife and “chained” down at home with all these kids (thankfully, only happens occasionally). I think she knows I like what I do, so maybe me being positive will outbalance others’ prejudices The other is tangential “red pill”. We’re not exactly “free range kids”, but they have some independence other kids their …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 02:15 PM
6

“It’s too much of a risk” I would 100% agree if they weren’t married already, and would give that advice. However, since they are married, and there seems to be no other issues, I don’t see the overriding compulsion to leave a marriage over this, painful as it might be for a while. And I have rather extreme views on children being an intregal part of marriage, not an accessory (unless there’s fertility or health reasons not to, of course—I know many lovely childless married couples) It’s a very …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 02:05 PM
4

I never would have married someone who wasn’t all for having kids, however I can also see how you choosing a hypothetical child who doesn’t exist yet over your husband would be very hurtful to him, and reckless, even foolish, on your part. You’d be ending a good thing for a lot of uncertainties (finding someone else marriageable and willing to marry a divorcee, being fertile, etc) While the biological clock is real, you still have time. I don’t think you should make this a deal breaker. Do you h…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 11:50 PM
6

I was 23 and a virgin when I married (dated 18 months, three months engaged); also from a religious family, but no problems at all with vagismus. I don’t really think it’s caused by waiting too long to have sex. I have friends who married as virgins in their 30s, and also no problems. I have also have friends (virgins) who discovered they had vagismus at a pelvic exam, and doctors gave some practical advice (to relax the muscles, not dating advice, ha!) To the OP, I wouldn’t worry about 3 years …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 11:36 PM
9

I have 8, aged eleven to 6 months.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 06:45 PM
2

It’s important to remember the whole life of the Christian is one lived in repentance, not just dramatic one-time regret. The Holy Spirit reveals and convicts you sins you didn’t even know you did, as you grow in his Word and learn from other Christians
/r/RPChristians12/12/18 02:46 PM
1

Has perhaps his health issue returned or it still impacts his drive?
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 02:40 PM
2

The OT saints were saved through the blood of Christ, just as we are. God applied the Son’s work on the cross to them also (see Hebrews 11; the object of their faith was the Promised Messiah). It’s all the same operating system (Jesus’s atonement), just revealed clearly in the fullness of time. The NT is concealed in the OT; the OT is revealed in the NT, Augustine said something like that. No one in the Old Testament was saved by keeping the law Shame is social. Society and its norms and mores u…
/r/RPChristians09/12/18 04:23 AM
1

This was the advice I came to give, and I’m Lutheran. Go to confession and receive absolution. Receive the sacrament. She should also, at her church. (yes, Lutherans have private confession, just no penance because the absolution “I forgive you all your sins” is complete) Take obvious, exaggerated steps to avoid this again. I married my husband a virgin, but we fornicated all but technically. The physical desire (lust, since it’s using the other) becomes overwhelming. If you objectively believe …
/r/RPChristians07/12/18 09:11 PM
1

I disagree. This could have been me, but for God’s mercy. Virgins are sinners, too, and can succumb to temptation without any previous experience.
/r/RPChristians07/12/18 08:44 PM
2

These are all wonderful points/advice. I think it also helps to think of how people behave around me as a response to my own behavior, and not intentionally taking advantage of me. No one can know what homelife or my personal schedule or capability is; it’s my responsibility to say no, I can’t do that. What IS really irritating is when someone does say “no,” but procrastinates to do so at the last minute (or just doesn’t follow through/show up at all) and throws his or her committee members,cowo…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/18 02:03 AM
3

This assumes both are looking to marry
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 02:20 PM
2

It can help to be around his/her family right away. I agree you “can’t fully know,” but I think 6 mo to a year of dating exposes a lot. A lot of times the length someone dates or is engaged has more to do with a future event being accomplished first (most commonly, graduation or securing a job or level of income) than vetting.I’m not sure how much more you’re discover in 4 years than 2 years
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 02:19 PM
–

Flower Gardening Painting (murals, folk-style) Talking with my dad on a Saturday morning over coffee while mom does something with the kids Keeping a commonplace book Having a tech/media free day a week ( no screens, no radio)
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 06:12 AM
3

I don’t think 7 months is that short of time. My parents were engaged for six months after dating 6 months. I think the time needed varies according to person and situation, and how much input/advice you get from friends and family
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 03:53 AM
5

Talked about what general type of ring a few months before Went for breakfast and a short walk on a bike trail through the woods afterwards—short because I had to go to work He took the ring out of his shirt pocket (no box) and held it up and asked me to marry him. I said yes. Some kissing, then I hurried off to work on cloud 9. No one else around/no pics/no recordings. (Oh, and this was the day he was leaving for a 2 week road trip with friends) We had a 2 1/2 month long engagement and morning …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 03:45 AM
4

Maybe because I have so many children, I crave time with my husband, and being with him. I don’t know, maybe it’s just my personality. I think of time spent with him—sexual or otherwise—as recharging me to face another day. Being aware that the first year of having a baby can affect your libido is the first step to not letting that be a wedge between you, and just having a reasonable plan. One of the more stressful pregnancies of our marriage, my libido went through the roof, and it lasted about…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/18 12:27 AM
15

If you’re both working, farm out stuff like yard work and minor home repairs and maintenance. I came from a home where you absolutely did everything yourself (which is great! but not the only way to do things). It’s impossible for me to do everything and my husband works very long hours. It was such a relief to pay others to do these projects which were constantly a cause of low-level stress, and encouraged me to actually put my all into some stuff I like to do and am good at Practice being less…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/18 09:30 PM
1

This comment gives me an idea that maybe you can agree to only speak the native language at home. Might be a little frustrating, but also fun, and added bonus your daughter will pick it up even more easily. Get your dad in on it, too, so when you visit him it’s still only X language. He has to be on board with this idea, though. You can’t impose it. If he’s set against learning to speak the language at all (or settling with sort of knowing it and getting by, which can work!), then this idea won’…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/18 07:12 PM
1

She most certainly likes the OPer, and the “baby sis” stuff doesn’t actually discourage her the way one might think. It’s endearing and protective, when the OPer is not especially in a position to do either “Offer to train her to disciple other women and revolutionize the culture of your church with a disciple-making ministry started by the two of you.“ This is a really bad idea. It’s something that would be really great for a married couple or ACTUAL brother and sister to do. I think the OP sho…
/r/RPChristians13/11/18 05:27 PM
6

Do you think either a) he would really like to have his own business via the freelancing he is doing? or b) he doesn’t actually enjoying living where you do, and is hesitant to put down more permanent stakes, which is what getting hired would do? Or maybe it really is lack of confidence in the language, in which case if he won’t take a job, he has to have Plan B and you have to talk that over
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/18 12:53 AM
3

Lovely, exactly as I feel about my husband, and marriage in general
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/18 09:08 PM
28

Being naked is always a hit, although I don’t get the chance very often.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/18 01:23 AM
2

I think being grateful for what your parents have given to and done for you is great! There are probably ways they have helped you you don’t even know about! Moving out isn’t going to minimize that. In fact, it will most definitely improve your relationship with your parents. My mom is a little like how you describe your parents, and my sisters and I all lived at home until our early 20s. Interaction with our mother improved 1000% for all three of us when we moved out. We practice boundaries and…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/18 01:04 AM
2

Great story :) I especially like how you got engaged. We had a morning wedding, too, and no regrets
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 04:22 PM
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Instant Pot is a just a pressure cooker, so things like dry beans or beef take 40 minutes to cook, rice 5-10. Usually they also have a regular slow cooker setting to them
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 02:03 PM
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I’ll add a cinnamon stick or 2-3 cloves or allspice to orange peel in the winter. I don’t care for candle scent, but the real spice makes it smell like I’m baking
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 02:00 PM
3

This is encouraging, especially the it takes a year part and the it takes a lot of mental energy part
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/18 05:52 PM
5

I would talk to him about resuming sex. I think that is probably taking a toll on both of you, and your marriage, even if his concerns are (naively) honest. It’s best for all three of you to nurture the marriage, which includes sex. It would probably give you an esteem boost regarding your appearance, too! Regarding your question, I’ve had 8 kids and this last is the first I’ve had trouble losing weight. I’m 35, and am going to have to work on it a bit now. Twenties didn’t really have a problem,…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/18 12:22 AM
5

My husband has been through this lull a few times, and getting a new job during the most severe one helped immensely. He acted like he had agency again I second everything kittxxn says, and only add to beware some of this temporary disengagement/melancholy doesnt become a permanent bad habit—as in work hours and stress let up, but he still is acting the same way Is he able to exercises regularly? Has he had a full physical recently, with blood work?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 10:02 PM
1

His conversion (or lack thereof) isn’t dependent on you
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 09:44 PM
1

You should close it off completely (besides saying “hi” if you run into him). No texting
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 09:42 PM
2

Five years can be a long time wherein you can accomplish a lot. Have tiers of goals and the grander ones hold loosely, while the immediate ones which you can take action on and ARE in your control (getting a job and cleaning up) start on tomorrow morning. Don’t be so rigid and black and white about your plans and what could happen. Just do the next good thing right now, which tonight might be drinking some water and eating some carrot sticks and going to bed at 9. If you conclude “I’ll just drop…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 02:14 AM
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I have found the fit and flare dresses at Lands End to be comfortable, appropriate for my age (I’m 35), easy to wash, easy to nurse in, easy to fancy up with accessories, and pretty, with a variety of colors and patterns. Some people might find them too conservative, but they work for me and my husband. I think of it like the housewife uniform Also good for dancing in with husband OR kids, also easy to hide or show cleavage, according to the undergarment and situation I wore almost solely true v…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/18 03:40 PM
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I have put hat and gloves and wool booties on a baby I’m wearing in an Ergo type carrier and then zipped my coat over her/him. Usually nothing but the head shows. facing toward me works better, but they usually don’t like that much because they can’t see, so sometimes I schedule hikes during a nap time. I think the most I’ve gone is an hour and half, in no colder than 15F. They’re (and I’m!) pretty toasty from body heat, though I have tried to keep to smooth trails, since I seem less aware of ro…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/18 03:34 PM
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November Drink a gallon of water a day (nursing) Do the “dressed to shoes” flylady thing, but try to get it all done in 15 min. Wash face and floss every night before bed Walk 3 miles 3 times a week, and work up to 5 times a week (hopefully able to cross country ski or use snow shoes this winter)
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/18 03:30 PM
2

It’s fine to be protective, especially around those you don’t trust or have a history of behavior in bad faith I doubt your sil’s politics influenced her nursing your baby. I also don’t think your mil purposefully put on fragrance to sabatoge your bond. It was a mistake; you’ve already apologized at your husband’s prompting, I assume she doesn’t wear it any more around your house. I would drop it and not bring it up again. I try to always read what people do in the kindest way—not blind denial, …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 05:45 PM
3

I agree, but when I said “weird,” I meant here in the US. I have pumped several times for moms who unexpectedly had to have surgery or couldn’t nurse their baby for a time, and didn’t have milk stored up. I don’t thinks it’s strange, but others do. I don’t think I would nurse another baby directly unless it were an emergency. Perhaps the OPs in-laws are of those cultures that do, which would go along way explaining the behavior!
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 05:35 PM
2

A lot of good advice here, but sometimes it’s just your physiology and where the clit is, size of pubic bones, etc.Being really fit helps, but sometimes there needs to be manual help during penetration no matter what. No big deal about missing s particular supposed “ideal” experience of hands free orgasm. I love my husband’s body and he loves mine, and we both know the various recipes to get the other to orgasm (and I’m sure will create/figure out more as our bodies change and age)
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 03:06 PM
8

Last: be brutally honest with the post partum test, too. A lot of women I know admit now, in their wise old age 30s and 40s, the first few pregnancies they really weren’t honest in their answers and probably had ppd
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 02:52 PM
9

Sorry, my numbering went weird Tl;dr. Your reaction to stuff right after delivery wasn’t unreasonable or a sign of pp, necessarily; set boundaries with your extended family, reasonably; talk to your husband about his goals and thoughts for you and speak clearly about what you want I’ll add if your in-laws are there to help for a while, set a schedule (ie mil comes MW afternoons, sil F afternoons), so it’s the amount you want and there are no surprises, you get alone time with baby, if that’s wha…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 02:50 PM
16

Hi, I have about 4x the average number of kids. I know exactly the hole away and hide from everyone while getting to know baby impulse. There’s an innate “don’t touch my baby!” possessiveness that can be weird, but I think it’s natural. You just have to be aware of it and decide how to handle it without hurting others around you :) I declined my mom staying with me when my first was born because I knew she stresses me out sometimes and I didn’t know what to expect with my first. We also had an e…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 02:42 PM
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