~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Painful partyWin what? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/26 04:56 AM |
| 2 | Where I didn’t expect to beI agree with you, i don’t condone OP’s side business, but that should remain his and her business, and shouldn’t be used to alienate the kids against one parent. I think we forget that tarnishing one parent’s character is indirectly telling the kid(s) that half of them is bad. If the dad wants to do his mea culpa directly to his grown kids, it should be his prerogative to do it of his own volition. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 02:58 AM |
| 2 | Where I didn’t expect to beKeep your head on, this too shall pass. But food for thoughts: sharing the details with your kids was incredibly toxic and not worthy of a mother. I don’t really care what you did, what she did was possibly much worse! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 06:48 AM |
| 1 | The equity in the house was worth more than my freedom.Interesting reaction… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 01:43 AM |
| -1 | The equity in the house was worth more than my freedom.Yes, almost all the cases I know of are in the US, one exception being in Canada | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/26 06:28 AM |
| -1 | The equity in the house was worth more than my freedom.Ha, sadly there are as many examples where the husband diverted funds, cleaned up the accounts and blindsided and left the wife (and the kids) on the streets. In a case close to my heart, the husband beat his pregnant wife, racked debts beyond belief, opened many credit cards in her name, and disappeared. To this day, she is still working two jobs to clear his debts, after losing her house and raising his child along. The kid is turning 17 soon. Evil doesn’t have a gender. Everything else, I agr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 10:09 PM |
| 0 | The equity in the house was worth more than my freedom.As astonishing and despicable as it is, it is equally as applicable in reverse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Dating in your 50’s kind of sucksThat’s an interesting dynamic…it’s always so hard to judge from the outside, but I get that the lack of boundaries would have been quite challenging, had it developed into a relationship between you and her. It’s possible a new relationship would have forced her to set boundaries with the ex to protect the new relationship? Thankfully she showed her true colors by ghosting, so You’ll never know and won’t have to waste energy and time trying to figure it out. I’ve had quite a few friends who were… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/26 06:54 AM |
| 2 | To the daughter I am losing slowlyIf you provide me with a cape and a mask, I’m your man/girl! What did she do? I fucking hate people who are so selfish they’d rather hurt their own kid rather than taking the high road. It’s despicable! | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/26 03:09 AM |
| 5 | Dating in your 50’s kind of sucksMaybe…maybe not. When you’ve got youngsters in the nest and more to lose than to gain from making the divorce official, it might not be such a red flag after all. Speaking in theory obviously, that woman in particular lost credibility with the ghosting act. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/26 01:45 AM |
| 0 | Dating in your 50’s kind of sucksOr not…wait till you realize that you are going different speeds, no references are really common, and once the lust is satisfied, you really can’t have a deep conversation. Or maybe you’ve found the youngster with an old soul. Then you’re lucky…for now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/26 01:42 AM |
| 4 | To the daughter I am losing slowlyJust tell me who the bitch is, gonna go fight her for you! That’s not cool, and especially not for your/her daughter. Unless you’ve been shamelessly gaslighting both your ex and your daughter, neither of you deserved to be divided by poisonous words from Succubus mom. It’s not just you she is hurting , but it’s her own daughter and any chance she has to have a healthy and successful relationship with another human being (regardless of gender). That’s not fair, that’s not right, and depending on … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/26 10:05 PM |
| 0 | ReconciliationThanks for saying that, I was wondering if I had missed several chapters before this one! Was there a backstory prior to this post where she was described as a horrible human being who failed him and abandoned him? Is so, I missed it. But a marriage rarely fails with one side being 100% faulty. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 05:00 AM |
| 0 | ReconciliationI’m gonna disagree with all the posts I have read thus far! Don’t hold back, speak to her and explain the work you’ve done on yourself and how you still feel about her. I don’t know your history, but just the fact that you’ve worked on yourself is the best predictor of success. Whether just for yourself, a future relationship with someone else, or maybe her…but taking accountability and speaking with honesty is never a losing formula in my opinion. What’s the worst she could tell you? NO?!? Well… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/26 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Just passed……men are screwed again.That’s an interesting topic! Don’t you think it’s a bit of biological instinct, while also being a learnt concept at once? Or maybe it’s a biological instinct reinforced by a learnt societal concept created to justify favoring your own DNA ? What do you think of mothers who carry, birth, raise and love children from the egg of another woman? Wouldn’t that disprove the DNA warranted love concept? | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 03:13 AM |
| 1 | Just passed……men are screwed again.Ha that’s better! Now you’re making sense. For a second there I thought you felt victimized as a gender for being asked to prove (or disprove ) paternity. I don’t know what state you live in, but the laws are wildly different country to country, and state to state (if in the US). What state doesn’t allow dna proven paternity if requested? Lastly, many dad’s love their kids to death, regardless of genetic affiliation. It makes me think you might spread your seed without really being a dad? | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 02:45 AM |
| 1 | Just passed……men are screwed again.Did you really just say “mandatory DNA testing -who does that affect the most?” Come’on man, you’ve gotta be kidding right? Why would you need to DNA test the mother who carried and birthed the child!?!? Oh my effing God, that’s too funny!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 02:36 AM |
| 3 | For those feeling hopeless please read thisThat might be the heart of it…why do you feel useless? A partner CAN NOT replace your self worth and your identity. They can compliment you, not complete you. You are whole already, and if you don’t feel whole, now is the time to find the pieces you have forgotten, misplaced or never really seen. I know it sounds abstract and not very ‘romantic’, but it’s truthfully the best way to find our own happiness, to attract healthy partners, and foster the best odds for a relationship that will be…well.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/25 07:32 PM |
| 2 | Just simply dreading Christmas alone .Plane tickets are usually cheap on Christmas Day. Take a trip! If you can make it international, all the better! It doesn’t feel like the same kind of Christmas when in a plane or an airport…if you can’t go far because you only have that day off, then find a flight for a city you’ve wanted to visit, and back in the same day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/25 06:37 AM |
| 4 | For those feeling hopeless please read thisI’m with you on that one. No definitive conclusions for the masses, but regardless, not knowing oneself has a lot to do for the way we married, and what we did in our relationships, and why it failed. Get to know yourself, develop personal happiness skills, relationships skills, and vet your next relationship thoroughly. Find someone who is equally as invested as you to continue to work on themselves and improve. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being willing to keep working on oneself (… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/25 06:35 PM |
| 3 | Head spinning.Yes, exactly this ⬆️!!!! Stop sleeping with her, stop giving her access to you. Be cordial, nothing more. She isn’t on your team anymore, remember that! Consult a lawyer, sort out your finances, belongings etc and write the events of the day in a journal without fail. DAILY! Document everything. If you can /are allowed to record or video record, do so as well. *** Why is your therapist unable to “make sense” of her behavior? There is NOTHING to make sense of! If your wife truly is Bipolar and al… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/25 06:26 PM |
| 0 | Wife of 20 years is uninterested in me.If you consider a well intentioned person a troll, no need to boot, I will see myself out. Best of luck on figuring out human relationships. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/11/25 12:40 PM |
| 3 | Wife of 20 years is uninterested in me.Save yourself the trouble, do not read the comments! There is no one-size-fits-all recipe that can be blindly applied. Do your wife and yourself a great favor, and actually do the work on yourself. Suggest she does the same, and propose to go for marriage counseling with a real psychologist (not some kind of “coach”). Women typically distance themselves from their mate because they have lost trust and/or respect. There are many reasons this could happen, hence the advice to work on yourselves se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/25 09:19 AM |
| 3 | What's the pettiest thing she did?You need to speak with your attorney ASAP about modifying custody, especially if you have any documentation or witnesses. In many states, kids 12+ can voice a preference to the court. Even 11-year-olds can be heard if the situation is serious. Courts don’t go solely by what the child wants, but threats of extreme measures like that can absolutely trigger a review! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/25 11:22 PM |
| 2 | Gifts during the divorce process?Delicate situation! Perhaps kindly clarifying that it’s solely in celebration of your past relationship and what it has brought to your life (I.e kid, life experience), could be a good way to manage expectations? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 11:56 AM |
| 1 | Gifts during the divorce process?There is nothing wrong with showing kindness to the mother of your child, and companion of 1/2 a lifetime…as long as it’s not misleading her into thinking that you are making that gesture out of romantic love. Had she indicated what her mindset is in sharing gifts for Valentine’s Day? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 10:49 AM |
| 1 | Should I stay for the kids?I’m thinking maybe more like BPD? ( Borderline Personality Disorder) | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/25 01:12 AM |
| 2 | Should I stay for the kids?I replied to your (other) post, that is now locked. Please see at this link https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/aic1KkTRyp | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 09:59 AM |
| 5 | New love interest before divorce is finalDo you have no doubt about wanting to go back to the STBXW? How do you know you love her if you haven’t been in a relationship with her? Could you be displacing your hopes and desires onto the new woman? Take it SLOW man! Maybe she is your wish fulfilled, maybe she isn’t, and you aren’t crazy for wanting to see where it goes, but remember that it usually takes a year or two (while in a relationship) before you really know who someone is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/25 07:57 PM |
| 1 | Is this normal??What you’re describing is NOT a normal or healthy marriage dynamic! It sounds like you’re carrying all the burdens ( physical, emotional, financial) while also being subjected to disrespect and manipulation. No one would feel good in a similar situation! 1. Yes, her behavior definitely seems emotionally abusive! Here is why I say that: controlling your whereabouts, financial irresponsibility, lack of reciprocity, badmouthing you to others (including your kids), and using divorce as a threat to e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/25 07:48 PM |
| 4 | I had my 1st post divorce hook upCool! All somewhat reasonable points! Now can you make one for vetting men? (I’m NOT being sarcastic). | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 01:12 AM |
| 3 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!I’m so sorry you’re struggling but I can see how incredibly painful it must feel like when the love you gave wasn’t truly reciprocated. You’re right that some people’s ability to love is shaped by their own trauma and experiences, and it’s tragic that her past left her with such deep wounds. But it doesn’t mean you weren’t deserving of love or that you didn’t bring immense value to the relationship. Her inability to truly reciprocate definitely doesn’t reflect your worth, and It sounds like you’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 03:35 AM |
| 3 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!You might very well have a point here…I’m sorry you didn’t receive the same support along with the attempts at understanding why the ex was behaving so poorly | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 04:57 PM |
| 3 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!You are absolutely right! What stumps me though is that the complaints and generalizations are the same on both sides. The deluded and self righteous abound on both sides, and it’s absolutely an echo chamber for validation. There are real issues that separate the sexes, and it’s a real shame the platform isn’t used to discuss and bridge them instead of one-upping hatred and insults. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 04:55 PM |
| 2 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!That’s interesting, your scenario closely resembles that of a good friend (getting manipulated and emotionally abused). I had ventured BPD but it wasn’t well received… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 04:43 PM |
| 2 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!What was the advice about co-dependence? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 04:40 PM |
| 2 | Dating post-divorceWork on your attachment style with a therapist. It’s a fluid state IF you decide to tackle it and understand yourself better. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t date right now, unless you happened to find one person willing to go through your process along with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:32 AM |
| 2 | Why stay in the house?Aww…it made my day that it made yours! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/24 12:20 AM |
| 4 | Why stay in the house?Happy Birthday 🎂 44 is young! Get excited about the infinite possibilities ! | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/12/24 11:39 PM |
| 2 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionAnd since I haven’t answered your question in the most direct manner, many have blown up their marriage and blamed it on midlife crisis. The crooks lies is in what constitutes “midlife crisis” (IMO). | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/24 01:48 AM |
| 1 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionPerhaps they should? All jokes aside, I doubt it’s ever a single cause that blows up a relationship. It’s usually a 1000 cuts. Then add the proverbial straw…the precipitator. I say ‘USUALLY’, because outliers do exist. Those are rare, but they exist. Nonetheless, i do believe that a relationship dies like it lived. The ostrich policy is often convenient enough to avoid conflict, until it becomes evident that healthy conflict resolution skills would have done the relationship wonders, and avoided… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionI hear you! Pesky things those hormones! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 09:01 AM |
| 3 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionNo assumptions really, but actual questions. What makes one theory more acceptable than the other? We don’t actually know the dynamic of the OP’s relationship, but his description of a slice in time, and from his perspective. It could be that the relationship deteriorated slowly for reasons directly related to the perception of the OP by his wife, and that the OP has been in denial about, or not privy to. It could be that the OP’s wife had long unresolved issues that eventually came to crystalli… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 08:46 AM |
| 0 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionGotta love the oversimplification and generalizations... | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/24 11:01 PM |
| 0 | Because Destroying Me was Her Easiest OptionInteresting comment. What do you make of it? Seems like a rather poorly understood phenomenon…would you prefer the explanation to be that OP’s wife suddenly realized she despised her husband on account of his own intrinsic qualities? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/24 10:58 PM |
| 1 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.If you are a professor, then you know that statistically speaking, your statement can not be accurate. I think confirmation bias might be influencing your conclusions. For instance, in your observations ( grocery store, vacation) you are assuming that women with kids, in groups, or even just wearing rings are unavailable, without exploring further. Social dynamics and cultural norms vary widely depending on location and context, so the absence of obvious signs doesn’t mean single women aren’t th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/24 08:13 PM |
| 1 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.Mars…That’s what it sounds like. But how do you never interact with single women? You work from home, Order your groceries on line, don’t go to the gym, don’t have friends you get together with, don’t travel, don’t partake in social activities, or sports? I really don’t understand your statement. I am not looking for single men, yet I interact with loads of them in my every day life. From the work place, to the fundraisers, volunteering activities, sports, heck, even kiddos activities where a nu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 08:48 PM |
| 1 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.Ha ha, you work on the space station! Makes sense now… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/24 02:39 AM |
| 1 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.Oh my goodness! Wow! Do you live in the middle of the wilderness? Or are you so convinced of your tale of doom and gloom that you scare the bejesus out of women? How dare you speaking so poorly of yourself !? Do you talk about your dearest friends like that ? List 25 qualities you bring to the table. I don’t care if you’ve been so bored that you’ve accurately counted the number of pubic hairs you have, or if you braid them in front of the TV. Make it sound good! E.g : You have the patience of th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/24 01:20 AM |
| 3 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.Exactly! View it as an adventure! Some like people watching, you get to ‘people watch’ up close and personal. Isn’t it fascinating how different people can be? You don’t even need to go to the movies anymore, you’ll have story tellers volunteering their life story live, while you drink your coffee or your martini. Turn your perception on its head and have fun with it! If you are observant, you’ll learn tons of nifty knowledge-pearls | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 09:27 AM |
| 1 | The idea of dating is exhausting. I want to skip ahead to where we are snuggling on the couch watching a movie.I don’t get it. Why or how is divorce a death sentence? Objectively speaking, lots of people partner up or remarry, but you obviously feel that it is, so I’m curious to understand what makes you feel that way? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 09:15 AM |
| 1 | How do you get the courage to leave when it's bad, but not that bad?If you can’t speak candidly in an anonymous forum, then where? Seems like the weight of many expectations would prevent you from doing so in ‘real life’? With your permission, I’ll DM you later. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/24 03:48 PM |
| 1 | How do you get the courage to leave when it's bad, but not that bad?You say your marriage lacks the “back breaker,” yet you’ve described your wife as mean and cruel, emotionally unstable, and abusive. She doesn’t contribute to the household or income, offers no emotional or intellectual companionship (and therefore no intimacy), and refuses to reassess her commitment to a high-demand, controlling, and abusive religion. She has threatened you with divorce daily for not conforming, isolated you from friendships, and effectively cut you off from having a support sy… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/24 04:51 AM |
| 3 | How do you get the courage to leave when it's bad, but not that bad?Seems like you already have your answer. Unless you enjoy wallowing in it? Ask yourself if you have been conditioned to martyrdom? If so, how do you feel about your kids reproducing that same dynamic in their own life? | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/24 03:24 AM |
| 2 | Badmouthing MeThat’s such an excellent answer!!! Thank you for giving such an insightful analysis and constructive advice ! To OP: Camping-Dad is right. PARENTAL ALIENATION is a big deal, and something you need to find a way to document, as it can alter the course of the custody battle. Also right about how destructive it is to your little’s psychology. Your soon to be ex is a POS, we don’t claim her in the women’s club! Don’t let her shitty-ness rub off on you, keep your chin up, you want to be the man you w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/24 08:58 PM |
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