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HeadButtTheBar Archive

View 0 posts and 45 comments by HeadButtTheBar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Grow up. Stop looking for the internet to make excuses for you. Own it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:25 AM
5

As you said you are a fat fuck. Instead of finding time to fuck, find time to get into the gym. The rest happens.
/r/askMRP19/07/22 12:45 AM
2

Ha... good point. Like I mentioned in another reply, my wife thrives on activities and that’s how we bonded. With kids time for that vaporized Getting some time apart will help see what we want
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/19 06:38 PM
2

I understand what you are saying, but I feel we have next to nothing in terms of compatibility. No one has a perfect for them partner, but holy crap we have nothing in common any more. I legit don't know what there is to rebuild. Our common interests are probably limited to watching football, the gym, and our kids. Thats IT. Am I going to still push for a divorce? No, I've settled down. The separation is happening, and she is moving out. She has flat out told me she's optimistic for this and thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/19 05:54 PM
6

Appreciate the comments. For the Dwight stuff... when I became a manager I absorbed a few other people from my area immediately. When I talked about hiring a direct report, that was to fill an open req I was given at the time to fully staff my team. But whatever. I fully acknowledge the history of letting people direct me. You're painting yourself as "diligient but appropriately self-flagellating MRP'er who's making good progess, right guys" while glossing over one of the things that's mostly li…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/19 05:45 PM
2

First off, thank you for taking the time to read my history. So when she comes to me a month ago, says she wants out, gets an apartment lease setup, etc... what’s my play? She’s gone with or without my consent. I don’t control her or her actions. I’ve worked on me, continue to work on me, and that’s all I can do at this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/19 09:19 PM
6

OYS #11 Summary: Fuck my wife. Stats: 35y, 180lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2. Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 95 Back Squat: 165 Deadlift: 255 (+10) Clean : 90 Fitness: Switched to Texas method, finished first week. First time doing cleans for a workout, shoulder flexibility is getting there to get the bar on top. With a more scheduled M/W/F lifting, I have been using off days to run and prep for 10k next weekend. Goal is under 60 min. Me…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/19 02:47 PM
1

She is moving out at the end of September, and we will split the kids 50/50 between the house and her apartment. Once that is settled, divorce incoming. Right now the separation is a stepping stone to keep things calm for the kids and honestly just the sheer amount of logistics. This weekend was eye opening for me. My wife said to me "its like we're not even friends anymore". I didn't say anything to that but in my mind I realized "no shit, you are fucking bailing on this entire life we built, h…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/19 01:05 PM
2

OYS #10 Summary: Trying new things, staying busy. Working on finding what makes me happy. Stats: 35y, 182lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2. Chance of marriage lasting? 5% Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 95 (-10) Back Squat: 165 Deadlift: 245 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: Signed up for a 10k with a few of my friends in Sept. Went rock climbing (bouldering technically?) with my friend from work. Wasn't necessarily my cup of tea but got me out of…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/19 02:43 PM
1

I should stop fixating on the %. Guess thats the engineer in me. Right now joint therapy is pretty much a medium for us to get talking again. I am also meeting with individual therapist Monday. As far as is her behavior AWALT..... I don't know yet but this is good perspective. Thanks for the comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/19 01:13 PM
1

OYS #9 Summary: Taking some space Stats: 35y, 182lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2. Chance of marriage lasting? 5% Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 95 (-10) Back Squat: 165 Deadlift: 245 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: Did not cut over to Texas method. No excuses. Hit 315 1 rep DL for a PR. Joined my work gym to have another place to work out instead of home. Readings and My Take Aways: Very little progress on How to Make Friends and Influence. C…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 01:30 PM
1

STFU. That's the plan. I scheduled some therapist appointments, so we'll finalize the times, and that's it. No puke.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/19 06:29 PM
2

OYS #8 Summary: Just keeping my head down Stats: 35y, 182lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2. Chance of marriage lasting? 5% Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 95 (-10) Back Squat: 165 Deadlift: 245 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: Staying busy working out. From all the stress lately stomach is constantly churning, and I'm having a hard time eating as much as I need to. Lost 6 pounds. I have moved to a 16:8 IF so that I don't eat till about noon. This…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/19 01:24 PM
1

Re-reading all of this and comments made me realize how off my mindset is Still focused on my wife’s actions Still focused on fixing my wife Still outcome dependent Still not thinking about what makes me happy
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 05:19 PM
1

Ya.... point taken
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 04:27 PM
3

OYS #7 Summary: Stop being a victim. Stats: 35y, 185lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2. Chance of marriage lasting? 20% Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 105 Back Squat: 165 Deadlift: 235 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: Hit a backsquat 1rep PR at my body weight. I posted early about how I was feeling gassed, and was called out for having a bad diet. I really don't. Haven't eaten candy or bad snacks (ex: Oreos, girlscout cookies, shit like that) in …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/19 01:28 PM
1

What do I want? I just want to be someone that can have fun without fucking worrying about every consequence, every minute detail. She told me this week “I think I married you because you were the safe option, felt right at the time.” Yup. Thank you, I needed this. My actions are the reason I am where I am.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/19 04:55 PM
1

Yeah.... Told her if she moved out we were freezing the shared bank account, paying all bills as if we were separate people and rent was coming out of her pocket while she still pays 1/2 our mortgage Not something I ever would have been able to say before. This will definitely be a test for me setting boundaries
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/19 02:26 PM
1

Thanks Long game is hard for me. Head down one day at a time
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 08:56 PM
1

OYS #6 Summary: Sorry for the late post, shit went down. Think I dug my own grave by saying what we both knew. Stats: 35y, 185lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2 Current Last Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 (same) Overhead Press: 105 (+10) Back Squat: 165 (+10) Deadlift: 235 (same) Bent over Row: 145 (same) Fitness: Wasn't able to keep up my 175 squat sets, but got 165 5x5 in. Continuing to work on my form, taking it slow, watching alot of r/StartingStrength form checks. …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 05:49 PM
1

Yes, it’s overkill. If someone gave you a blunt ultimatum with no leadership or direction how to get there, how would you respond? Your wife would turtle and withdraw. Like you said, your wife had no problem at the park. Why is she fun there and not at home? What are you doing wrong where she doesn’t want to spend time with you, the kids, etc?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/19 12:43 PM
2

I wish I could have all my time back from dicking around with Team Fortress, Left for Dead, Civ games... yeah they’re fun, especially when playing with friends but don’t make it your life Take all my video game time and turn it into piano practice I could be fucking Mozart. If you are learning python and it’s relevant to your career, put it to practical use, don’t just write some for loops. Write some code that you can put on an arduino, put it on GitHub, make a nice landing page and link to it …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/19 02:16 PM
2

Learning to deal with your wife and all the tests is hard, nothing wrong there Quitting video games should be easy and dealt with yesterday
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/19 01:05 PM
3

- Plays video games 2 hours a day when Mommy isn't around - Jerks off constantly - Doesn't have a real job - Doesn't list all his lifts - Watches wife piss money away on Amazon and doesn't say anything I still have a long way to go Ya think? Be better.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/19 12:54 PM
1

OYS #5 Summary: Happy and calm, but feeling gassed without hobbies, and need to keep the ego in check. Stats: 35y, 185lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 4,2 Current Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 (same) Overhead Press: 95 (-10) Back Squat: 175 (+10) Deadlift: 235 (same) Bent over Row: 145 (same) Fitness: Great progress on squats. Coach gave me tips to "dig my toes in". Amazing such a small subtle tip helps get my knees out, feet level. Last few weeks with squat form improve…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/19 02:10 AM
1

Google “Olympic bar”. That is what you want, nothing else. Weight plates are made to fit either Olympic or “standard”, which I think is what you have I’d recommend joining a gym, getting to know all the different sizes and shapes. If you thrive in a gym environment, stay there. Make sure they have racks and free weights. If you are more of a wake up early and work out solitarily like me, get a rack for home if you have the space. Most important action for you is to start hitting barbell lifts. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/19 01:19 AM
1

Also note there are two sizes of the actual barbell end that goes into the weight The size determines what hole on the weight plate fits One is called “standard” and I think is what you have. Avoid this completely Get an “Olympic” sized one. The end is slightly smaller than a coke can in diameter Look on Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, you will find a deal Best of luck, focus on the lifts, the rest will unfold and happen
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/19 12:56 AM
1

You are mixing up terms Barbell = the big long bar with weights you put on it, that typically weighs 45lb on its own Dumbell = the single 1 arm weight that is fixed (think dumb = can’t change) Above all else, focus on your main barbell lifts. Clarity and frame will come from lifting and good sleep / eating habits. Bicep curls don’t give your body that relaxing fatigue. You are validation seeking by fixating on whether or not BJs happen. Because god damn it who doesn’t love a BJ. Stop it.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/19 01:41 PM
2

It’s all in the sidebar. Remember, she is saying it for a reason. In your case she’s pushing back worried you want someone else, and is saying it because she wants comfort / make you feel bad. Do not feel bad she feels bad. Do not run to her side to rescue her and tell her directly exactly what you want “just be nice to me”. Wish it was that simple. Imagine that! Overt communication!! Give her that comfort with cocky playful AA. Look up “push pull” and “pull push” flirting In this case you are p…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/19 01:23 PM
5

But then yesterday she made a comment about me wanting a prettier wife or something like that. That was kinda wild came out of left field - I just laughed and said "you just need to be nice to me" - she said "no you don't deserve it" and I just laughed about it. Comfort test 101 dude. For the sake of argument, lets say your wife is 5'7'', brunette, and 35 years old. Better response: "Yeah, I'm looking for a nice 5'7'' brunette, about 35 years old, loves to put out, occasionally takes it in the a…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/19 02:31 AM
2

Numbers are nowhere near where they were in my 2nd year of University, which is expected, but my numbers seem so low that I am feeling more embarassed than anything. The only person that cares how much you lift is you. Be embarrassed if you don't put in the work. Eat, sleep, and lift well and you will get there dude. Have been biking to work during the summer months and can easily do it now whereas three weeks ago I was huffing and puffing to make it over the finish line. Nice. You see the gains…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/19 02:18 AM
1

Point taken, need to cut out the validation shit in my posts.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/19 09:10 PM
1

OYS #4 Summary: Calm me is a happy me. Stats: 35y, 185lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 3,2 Current Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 Overhead Press: 105 Back Squat: 165 (+10) Deadlift: 235 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: 2x CrossFit classes, introducing me to front squats and cleans. Front squats came easy to me other than sore wrists, cleans were a mess as expected. Otherwise, got normal lifts in basement. Hit 165 5x5 on Back Squat using better technique. I had been here before…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/19 05:01 PM
2

No shit no sex is bad! Please take away this... You are trying to improve yourself and it’s hard to see immediate results in both your self image and from GF. Don’t feel rushed. You are doing this for yourself and if you are trying to do it for others to notice then it’s the wrong motivation. It’s good to see others roast your ass too. I can’t / won’t do that because I’m not as clever with words. But read their comments 10x, they are speaking truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/19 03:11 AM
2

I can’t tell you if explicitly cutting yourself off and overtly refusing sex is a good idea. I know NMMNG talks about it, but that personally didn’t resonate with me. Maybe someone else can chime in that did it. Regardless... focus on being fun, confident, and don’t fixate on sex as the outcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/19 04:28 PM
1

Going to Europe together in september for 40 days. We have talked about and agreed to try a 30 days of sex challenge. I am going to tell GF that I will not have sex with her between now and then. That's one HELL of a covert contract. You told your GF who doesn't want to have sex with you "hey I won't bug you to have sex until September", and of course she agreed. In September when you step foot through the hotel door, you will be instantaneously butt hurt when she doesn't immediately suck and fu…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/19 01:36 PM
1

Thank you for pointing this out. My take away from your comment is while I didn’t do it to impress her in the moment, I was already subconsciously reared up for it and acting on her emotions and my response to them. And the true reason is I should have just been doing it, period.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/19 02:02 AM
1

OYS #3 Summary Drunk Captain starting to lead naturally just a little bit, but still needs to STFU Stats: 35y, 187lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 3,2 Current Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 175 (+5) Overhead Press: 105 (+10) Back Squat: 155 Deadlift: 235 Bent over Row: 145 Fitness: Mentioned last week wanted to learn some new movements. Did two things: Did a day with flat bench, flat flys, inclined bench, inclined flys. Felt like a much "fuller" workout without having to blas…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/19 01:23 AM
2

I have a lot of free time this summer I'm going to college for communications and love it, especially since there's a ton of hot bitches in my class I look forward to you putting that on your resume. A bachelors in communication is only going to take you so far. Prioritize figuring out your long term plans. Get real world experience. You are 20 on summer break from college. You should have an internship or job. Instead it sounds like you are sitting around your house, staying up too late, and wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/19 03:56 PM
3

200 square feet is about 15x15, which can fit in any decently sized storage unit. What is preventing you from renting a UHaul and moving it to a storage unit this weekend. Call and tell your friend that you need his help. Involve your son, show him how to lead. You have a problem and an obvious solution. You said you are in the executive leadership at your work. Stop making excuses and execute.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/19 03:14 PM
2

Will purchase a bar and a squat rack in September. If you are as financially successful as you say, there is nothing preventing you from buying a rack, bar, and set of bumper plates. Get a Jr. 25lb bar for your son too. Get off r/DeadBedrooms and hit the fucking order button
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/19 01:30 PM
1

Glad it helped. Sounds like her anxiety could also be a factor too as you mentioned. Don't be reluctant to plan and lead. You'll see many posts with guys saying "Told my wife we're doing XYZ on Saturday, wife said nothing and agreed." Time to get back in the Captain's chair.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/19 01:46 AM
3

I would wake up when she is coming in, try to initiate, get turned down, and then often lie there stewing a bit. I’m doing my best to maintain frame and haven’t been throwing tantrums (like I did in the past). From my perspective, the move has been without any “butthurt”. Here is how I read this... Wife is busy downstairs with the baby. You go upstairs to bed, and lie there waiting for her to come fuck you. You expect this because of your covert contracts and all the financial providing you do. …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/19 07:25 PM
2

OYS #2 Props to u/resolutions316 and u/cpotpie1 for encouraging words on my first OYS. Stats: 35y, 188lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 3,2 Current Working 5x5 sets (lb) Bench: 170 Overhead Press: 95 (-10) Back Squat: 155 Deadlift: 235 Bent over Row: 145 (+10) Fitness: Good news is that my ass is really sore. Squat is finally making sense to me. First 6 months of lifting, squat and dead lift was using wrong muscles. My back and knees would be very sore. Now I'm hinging bette…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/19 06:57 PM
7

OYS #1 Stats: 35y, 188lb, 6'1''. Married to Wife 36 for 9, together 14. Kids 3,2 Current Working 5x5 sets in lbs: Bench 170, Overhead Press 105. Back Squat 155, Deadlift 235, Bent over Row 135. Background: My life should be happy. There is no reason for it to be this way. Grew up in trouble free life. Older brother, Mom and Dad around, took care of me, helped me succeed, did everything they could for me. I had the perfect child hood in that my parents were always there for me, but never overbear…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/19 04:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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