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HedgehogHole Archive

View 0 posts and 66 comments by HedgehogHole on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

They can request but his attorney can object. I’d definitely object bc relevance, scope, unreasonable to track down all of those messages, etc
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 12:20 AM
2

This is why many courts backdate the marital value of accounts and credit cards to the date of separation. Ask an attorney before you close any accounts or move large amounts of money. Your state may issue a domestic relations order at the beginning of the divorce and in that case it’s best to have her be the only one who violates it
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 12:28 AM
1

Do not close joint accounts!!! Big no-no. Do open your own account but do not make any large changes or withdrawals without the court or an attorney giving permission
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 02:06 AM
1

“Primary” refers to physical custody.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 01:46 PM
1

Ok bud sure
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 01:45 PM
1

By saying 50/50, it’s inferred that you are discussing physical. Legal custody is described as joint or sole. And OP’s original statements about 50/50 in his post are in reference to physical
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 12:15 PM
2

I work in family law. I’m not referring to who claims the child on taxes, I’m referring to the fact that you said that if he doesn’t have 50/50 physical custody, he won’t have joint legal custody
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 12:06 PM
2

Sole legal is only usually given if there is an extreme inability to coparent, if there’s DV, etc. The thought process is that the kid belongs to both of you and both of you deserve a say. It takes a lot to strip a parent of their right to decision-making. Tbh once parents are done with the divorce and they take a look at the legal fees, they suddenly start being open to more collaboration when they’re forced to either compromise or go back to court 😂 other than that, sometimes platforms like Ou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 04:14 AM
2

This isn’t true. Less than 50/50 physical custody does not mean he will be forfeiting legal custody. Legal and physical custody are decided separately
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 03:36 AM
1

Heyyo paralegal here, this is a pretty simple question that doesn’t involve legal advice so I’ll save you the billing. There are two different types of custody, physical custody and legal custody. Physical is relating to where the child physically resides, legal is relating to decision-making such as medical, education, and other such issues. The terms that describe physical custody are “shared” and “primary”. The terms that describe legal custody are “sole” and “joint”, but some states also hav…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 03:31 AM
3

Custody should be entirely decided based on the best interests of the children. Absent abuse, extreme poverty, etc. it will always be in the children’s best interest for custody to be 50/50. Your children deserve a relationship with you, and that supersedes the convenience of not having to coordinate childcare. I’ve had so many male clients give up shared custody and once the newness and the freedom wears off, they have an uphill battle to fight to go back to shared. You can always cede custody,…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 03:21 AM
2

Nah I’m actually happily married and live a few thousand miles away from there. I just don’t like to see guys putting themselves down over things they can’t help
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 07:03 PM
6

Motion for exclusive use of the home but that’s choosing violence lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 06:35 AM
4

Only psycho women don’t understand/won’t accept that a man has to pay support and has limited funds as a result
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 11:55 PM
4

Hey speaking as a woman, we don’t caaaaare. A date is a date, it doesn’t have to be expensive as long as it’s good. Court ordered support is court ordered support. Any psycho who gets salty about that isn’t someone you want to be with anyway. I creeped your history and saw that you don’t drink. That automatically makes things much less expensive. Go out on a nice first date—if you’re in the DMV, think the great American restaurants or Clyde’s. Seriously hit me up if you are anywhere near that ar…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 09:24 PM
19

Men are lied to a LOT. Some of the blatant misinformation given by the wives of the men on this sub is absolutely insane
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 09:11 PM
7

YOOOOO that’s a short term marriage!! And I say that in the legal sense. Whose name is on the house/loan? What was the downpayment and who funded it? If this is a premarital asset you do NOT need to give it up. In a lot of states, short term marriages are subject to a different asset division than longer marriages. Basically the idea behind asset division is to make each party “whole” again. But in short term marriages, usually what makes you whole is walking away with what you brought to the ma…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 09:09 PM
3

Yeah working in the field has lowkey made me somewhat of a men’s rights activist. Yes there are plenty of cases where one party stays at home out of necessity and legitimately is not able to work due to income restrictions etc. and they actually do need support to get back on their feet, but there are also cases where people are looking for a way to cash out
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 12:38 AM
2

Yeah and that’s also valid. I don’t think a woman has an inherent duty to stay home, but I do think that if she makes that choice herself vs. being pressured into it, she has no right to complain. Especially if she recognizes her own unhappiness and doesn’t take steps to fix it. Also I’ve stayed at home and worked and I can confidently say that in both situations, buying kids clothes was the highlight of my day and I actually looked for any excuse to do it 😂 no crushing mental load there. Obviou…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 09:22 PM
1

I mean I do agree sometimes. Some women settle down too early, or convince themselves that they like a traditional role when they really want freedom and independence. It’s more lying to themselves and thinking that love itself will be enough to overcome what their mind needs vs. externally lying if that makes sense. I’m the type of person who feels like staying home and being a full time homemaker and mother is stifling. If I married a man who was dead set on being the breadwinner with me stayi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 07:10 PM
1

Honestly I’d get a lawyer. I don’t trust DFS at all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 05:37 AM
2

Call the clerks at the court and ask if they have a standardized form for initial complaint packets. If you’re drafting your own motion for interim custody (or even if you find an attorney to do it for you), familiarize yourself with Idaho’s custody best interest factors. Base your argument around those factors and those factors alone
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 01:39 AM
1

Hey I just wanted to jump in and say fuuuck those attorneys. IANAL but I do work in the field and they’re just being ridiculous. You’ve got a real shot here. File immediately without a lawyer if you can’t retain one asap. Idaho already has jurisdiction. You can file there while in another state. File your initial complaint with a motion for interim custody attached. Time is crucial here. Don’t let your wife be the first one to get her filing in. Advocating for a set custody schedule asap is goin…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 01:36 AM
1

Oh lol that’s extremely standard in-depth discovery, but could totally object on the grounds of “that’s her fucking account your honor” 😂 but also sometimes fighting to object to something like that could wind up costing you more money than just slapping all those statements together. For future reference if you didn’t know, you can call your bank and most times they can send you a mass amount of statements. If you can get them to send you paper statements, even better—that way you can run up HE…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 01:24 AM
1

Like I could definitely see why if the extended discovery was court ordered and nothing was answered that would be an issue. Bc not answering anything on an ordered document is basically the same as not following the order.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 12:58 AM
1

Potentially jurisdiction specific? But the whole purpose of an objection is to prevent your client from sharing information. It doesn’t make sense to object while still sharing the info. Hope the answers you gave were super vague
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 12:57 AM
2

Oh that’s weird. Did y’all wait till it was close to the discovery deadline to submit objections? That’s the only time I’ve seen an attorney submit answers to objected questions. Usually the attorney asks you to answer all the questions but withholds the answers to the objected questions until the objection is denied.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 11:14 PM
1

Do you have an attorney? You can object to interrogatories or requests for admission on certain grounds and my fear is that if you don’t have an attorney (or they didn’t object appropriately) and you answered objectionable questions, you may have broadened the scope, which will absolutely drain your money. Petty me wants to say ask for her to produce at least a years worth of any text messages between her and her family and friends that mention you or the divorce. Reasonable me says either ask y…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 10:46 PM
6

Sounds like one of the attorneys I work with, I love it
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 10:01 PM
1

I’ve actually seen male judges be harder on men than some female judges. While people do sympathize with people of their gender, they also have a mental standard for people of their gender. But I can’t see a female judge (especially if she has kids) favoring your ex given the info you shared in your comments.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 02:48 AM
1

A bad dad wouldn’t be asking if he was a bad dad. Sure there’s always ways you could improve, but the same can be said for any parent. As long as you care, that’s what matters
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:27 PM
1

That’s the exact way you should be doing it! All money should be able to be traced back to legitimate expenses. Also been there with the living with parents and being completely ignored as a parent. Get that personal loan 😂
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 08:54 PM
2

Shutting a joint card down or draining a joint bank account is usually prohibited by the domestic relations order issued at the beginning of the divorce. I wouldn’t do any of that before obtaining written permission from an attorney or the court
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 06:52 PM
1

Depends on your physical custody agreement. If she has primary and your income hasn’t changed, there likely wouldn’t be much change. If you have shared custody, I’d ask an attorney but I’d also check out your state’s guidelines for when child support can be modified. Sometimes it has to be a certain percentage of change in income
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:32 AM
1

Ah I misread 😂 yes on her end it does bar alimony, so all the better if she decides to openly date someone
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 11:07 PM
1

From the trends I’ve seen in VA, spousal isn’t usually granted unless there’s a proven need, and even then it’s usually on a limited basis for the purpose of work force re-entry or finishing education. I’m only familiar with a certain region of VA and of course judges will be judges so YMMV, but if I were OP I wouldn’t be too worried about it even if he does date other people. But as a safeguard, if they have a legal separation agreement they could add a clause regarding dating other people if h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 11:05 PM
1

So in VA, “infidelity” in the legal sense really only serves to nullify the need for the year long separation before initiating the divorce. And they’re particularly stringent with proving it as well—ex would basically need a sex tape of OP with someone else to even prove it in the first place. I do agree with you though—the divorce needs to happen, sooner rather than later
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 09:19 PM
5

If you’ve filed for divorce, ask your attorney to move for a default—if her attorney has really been avoiding response for months, that’s something they could potentially be sanctioned for. Like that is beyond unprofessional. If you haven’t filed and you’ve just drafted the paperwork for a settlement and sent it, it’s time to file. Either way you can take action to light a fire under their asses
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 09:16 PM
1

I work in family law so I’ve seen some absolutely unfair shit go down. I’d probably nerd out and ask to read the court orders for fun, make some jokes at ex’s expense, and carry on with my life. Or see if he wants to file for a modification. Either way, I’m not judging. I’m currently working a case that’s very similar to the scenario you described and I’m absolutely pulling my hair out over it because this judge is falling for ex-wife’s bullshit over and over and over despite never even wanting …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 07:17 PM
1

So with child support each state calculates it differently but most states have a standardized formula, I believe CS usually caps out around 20% of your income and there’s things like in-kind support that can be deducted from it depending on your location and final order. Where I work, “alimony” is referred to as spousal support and is awarded on an extremely limited basis. Usually only in the case of a legally-proven “disadvantaged spouse” and only for the amount of time it would take for them …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 06:12 AM
2

Get on top of this fast. Don’t wait for her to file, file first and file a motion for an interim custody schedule and potentially exclusive use of the marital home with the initial filing so it gets in there before she has the chance to propose a custody schedule. Biggest mistake I see men make is agreeing to an interim schedule that is less than 50/50 or not proactively establishing one at all. It looks 100000x better in the judge’s eyes if you advocate for custody up front vs reactively respon…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 11:39 PM
1

I know you’re being serious and venting but “pussy full of contempt” had me wheezing for a solid 5 mins
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 07:00 AM
1

This dude is a DV victim stfu
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:17 AM
1

Go file a police report like yesterday. And a protective order. Your kid got involved. You’ve got to get out ahead of this now. File an order on behalf of yourself AND your child. Before she files one against you. Bc her crazy ass definitely will, and the court does NOT take kindly to kids being involved in DV. Whoever gets to it first is going to have their case heard first.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:16 AM
4

This!!! Exclusive use motions are often overlooked when one party voluntarily agrees to move out but it’s so important to get it filed just in case
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:31 PM
7

If you have a lawyer, get them to file a motion for exclusive use of the home ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:58 PM
6

Wait so she took the car but you sold the marital home and put the funds in a non-marital account? If this is real, you just commingled the account you share with your father AND took from the marital estate with no prior authorization. Y’all both need to find a lawyer bc damn both of you are screwing up left and right. And with Audi and BMW and Mercedes money, y’all should be able to afford representation. And $1400 for cars isn’t child support? Lawyer PLEASE
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 08:54 PM
2

You’ve got this. It’ll get better, one day at a time. Even if it feels like 3 steps forward, 2 steps back
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:59 PM
2

To add—having documentation of counseling and regular AA/group therapy will go a long way in court
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:56 PM
3

Hey I’m bipolar as well and my kiddo’s dad passed away from alcoholism. Alcoholism and bipolar go hand in hand more often than most people know. It’s good that you’re back on your meds—maybe see if your counselor can recommend a local AA group. If you’re not into 12 step programs, maybe a group therapy program would be good. Chances are you’ll find a lot of people there who are in the same boat as you. The fact that your lawyer was successful means that there’s already a red flag in the judge’s …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:55 PM
5

Precisely. Any sane woman will understand that it’s literally a court order, and any woman who takes an issue with it probably isn’t someone who is worthy of your time (and likely isn’t ready to have a relationship with someone who has kids)
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:35 AM
10

Outing myself as a woman here but as a mother who didn’t receive child support (my kid’s dad died), I would be thrilled to see my significant other contributing to his kids financially. Honestly after a certain point in the relationship I would probably pitch in to help out and take the kiddos shopping, buy snacks for sports tournaments, etc. I personally don’t really believe in long-term spousal support being necessary, but if my significant other had court ordered spousal support, that itself …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:22 AM
1

Copy-pasting my comment from the divorce sub in case anyone here finds themself in a similar situation. If marital funds were used to pay for the home, congrats! It’s officially co-mingled, go get at least a consult with an attorney. If it was bought with the intent of being a marital home, that also is grounds for disputing it and at least getting some of the equity If she destroyed or threw out your belongings in the house, add those to your list of personal property and ask for the value of t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:58 AM
2

That’s not going to hold up legally, no need to entertain. However I would include a line in whatever agreement you have about not only waiving child support BUT ALSO how future expenses will be split. Make sure to specify back to school expenses, extracurriculars, medical appointments, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 08:01 PM
1

Nighty night, don’t let the Phanatic bite
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 02:12 AM
3

My son’s dad passed away and I can say without a doubt that if you’re going to live for anyone, live for your kids. There was nothing more heartbreaking than explaining to him why all of his friends had dads and he didn’t, seeing him sit alone when his school had donuts with dads, etc. I’d also recommend seeing if there are any local veterans clubs. Facebook groups and the meet up app might be some good places to start. It’s easy to let your thoughts eat you alive when you’re alone
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 02:09 AM
2

No. Usually you split all assets as of the time of separation. Meaning that marital bank accounts are essentially valued at what the balance was on the date of separation and divided accordingly. Income itself doesn’t matter
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 02:04 AM
1

It is a shame though, you have excellent taste in baseball teams
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 02:03 AM
1

Wait, but your response was focused on me! Didn’t read it but the sheer number of “YOU”s tells a different story buddy. You’re a little obsessed w me, don’t you think? Sorry you got cheated on or whatever, but not all women are narcissists just because your wife wanted someone else’s dick. Can’t have an adult convo with someone who’s got the MGTOW glasses on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 01:59 AM
1

TLDR, cry to someone else
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 01:49 AM
1

Jokes on you because I used to be a single mom, I’ve been a working mom and SAHM, and I live in an area where we get 4-5 feet of snow usually and yes I shovel it in -10° temps. I change my oil, maintain my car, take out the trash, do outdoor maintenance, routinely do home repairs, etc. on top of working in a field where I see little boys ruin marriages because they think they’re contributing when really they’re doing the bare minimum. Now that I’m married, my husband and I both share the traditi…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 12:51 AM
9

Earnings aren’t divided—assets and debts only. Retirement can get weird depending on what kind of retirement it is, we just had a case where there was an expert witness who projected the value of the marital portion of the retirement out to the date when the retirement would be accessible. Super cool but v complicated sometimes, best to come to an agreement about it, especially if you’ve been together for a while. The only times when earnings are factored in are with child and spousal support
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 06:48 PM
3

If there’s anything I’ve learned from working in family law, it’s that each side has a different story and most things could be worked out with more people listening to their partner and trying to understand their feelings vs. listening to their partner to try to form a response. Most couples honestly don’t need to split up, they just need to understand each other and dig down to the roots of why they got married. A marriage is SUPPOSED to change. It shouldn’t stay new and exciting, the love sho…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 10:41 AM
0

It’s reading a lot like he held his income and basic involvement with the kids over her head. He isn’t a robot with endless energy but it seems like she had to be. It’s hard to have your identity consumed by childcare and housework to the point where you don’t know who you are, then have your partner tell you it’s a privilege for you to stay home with the kids when staying home with the kids is what is sucking the life out of you. Then you have a husband who grabs and gropes you and doesn’t know…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 09:39 AM
1

You’re getting downvoted because you’re right They just don’t want to hear it. Cooking dinner, changing diapers, taking kids to the park—that’s PHYSICAL labor. That’s taking on obvious tasks that need to be done. The actual labor is done behind the scenes—making sure the kids have sunscreen and bug spray for the park, making sure the formula and snacks are stocked. Assessing the amount of spices in the pantry and buying more so he can cook. Making sure there are clean pjs for bedtime and enough …
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 09:34 AM
1

Hiya! Full disclosure I’m a woman so I’m not sure if it’s cool if I comment here or why your post popped up as suggested on my feed other than because I work in family law. If you want, you can feel free to message me—I can give you a basic list of documents to begin prepping for discovery (which will likely be necessary in your case) and how to organize them to minimize your billing charges. Nothing I hate more than when people try to milk a divorce for more than their fair share so I figured I…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 08:50 PM
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