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Heldenhaft Archive

View 3 posts and 64 comments by Heldenhaft on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

This is an excellent screening process! 👏
/r/TheRedPill19/03/25 08:25 AM
3

I think the “situation-ship” endemic is the reason why there are fewer families being made. They are traumatic and selfish and emotionally harmful and narcissistic and it doesn’t really lend hope of finding a good life partner
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 04:18 PM
38

I would honestly never disclose trauma till there was a very strong commitment, after a long time and like maybe after getting to know each other very well in other aspect of your lives first, and I wouldn’t describe it as “ trauma or triggers”, as it’s a heavy word and to men, it just sounds scary and that they’ll pay for the pain, a previous ex has inflicted on you etc Infact honestly I’d say that I was always treated well, because then the man has to live up to your expectations that you’ve b…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 11:00 AM
2

Oh Thankyou so much for clarifying this so well! 💕
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 02:41 PM
1

Being emotionally honest but also have a grounding in reality and fairness is important. It shows the man is capable of being a good husband and father by being emotionally available yet grounded Being emotional about every little inconvenience and moody like Jerkll and Hyde, “ woe is me” attitude and just being emotionally unstable is not attractive and can be manipulative esp if they pull that card in arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:12 PM
1

I hate that argument too! It’s not just the cheating that’s awful. It’s the lying, the deception, the gaslighting, the betrayal of one’s entire life and sense of self as they know, esp if they have kids. The affair partner is complicit and a participant in destroying a family, and are accountable too. Cheaters have to deprive their spouse or family some portion ( usually quite a large portion) of time, energy, focus and attention to give to the person they’re cheating with and it totally breakdo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 02:28 PM
3

Evolutionary psychology does explain quite well if there are any different nuances in what men and women notice more when it comes to cheating. I’ve read often that men often ask for details about what sexual acts are done, and it’s especially painful if the female cheater offered to do sexual acts for their affair partner but denied it to their spouse/ partner. From what I heard, it’s seen as how deeply did your partner get inpregnated/ inseminated by another rival male. Women feel more hurt if…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 02:53 PM
7

I would still suggest having some sort of safety net for yourself even if you do become a stay at home wife. It gives you a sense of ease. I’ll be honest, putting your security on your partner can sometimes affect your emotionally to feel more “ anxious” so it still affects the relationship. While you’re single and working. Put aside an investment portfolio for yourself that grows over time passively. In terms of attracting a masculine quality man. Take care of your appearance and have poise and…
/r/RedPillWives23/01/22 12:06 AM
1

Amen! Thankyou for your logic and reasoning and cutting though all the BS
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/21 12:24 PM
1

You have to make it very clear that if she cheats on you, there will be a really high price to pay. She’ll lose something extremely valuable. Sometimes loyalty is only given when it’s mixed with love and fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 06:33 AM
1

Husband material- I trust this man and respect his way of leading and his character. Would love if he was the father of my kids FWB- I can’t taken him seriously as a person
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 06:25 AM
19

What a wonderful story! Your brother will be a great father and amazing Captain one day 🥰🥰
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 01:46 PM
2

You should say those specific words “I’m not looking for a relationship” if you don’t have those intentions for her. Saying “ who knows what the future holds” is giving her hope and dangling her “feelings” on a string. She’s already emotionally invested so any little opening like that is going to give her that hope.
/r/askTRP17/12/20 04:59 AM
28

I’ve gotta ask.....she didn’t even say “would you please grab the phone to let the driver in?” Or put it in a nice request to you? And when you said no, she calls you a nasty name? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤯 I’m asking as a 31F and I can’t imagine being that rude
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/20 12:48 PM
1

This hits close to home. My brother has an estranged relationship with our mother, really high conflict relationship. He’s got mommy issues big time and he exactly how this video described. He got married once and you can imagine how that turned out.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/20 06:42 AM
2

I agree 100%. Im 29 and my preference in men is always above a decade older :) Theyre also much more attractive to me in general!
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 09:47 AM
1

Thankyou so much again for your insights!! It makes so much sense!! 😊 I do notice this behaviour when talking about different sexual experiences or desires, in terms of not “outright forbidding” certain sexual things so I’m careful not to shut down anything and be open to talking about sex as to not cause that “ I want what I can’t have” feeling but funny thing, I told him one time I fooled around with some girls in my early teen years ( more than 10 yrs ago) and he’s been pressuring me and cons…
/r/TheRedPill14/04/18 02:02 PM
1

Thankyou for your insightful reply!! 😊 I was actually referring to MFF ( Male,Female, Female) and not MMF. If a guy and his partner engage in the MFF threesome, even though it was his idea and was excited. Would that lower or change his outlook on the relationship, and in his eyes, her value as a partner? I would be very interested to know your thoughts!! 😊
/r/TheRedPill14/04/18 01:08 PM
2

Hi Vasya! If a girlfriend did end up participating in a MFF threesome with her LTR, would that change how the guy views his main girl? Would she be de- valued or seen as less LTR material? Would he look at the relationship or connection differently afterward?
/r/TheRedPill14/04/18 07:54 AM
3

I never go for younger men for this reason (it's always been at the back of my mind) I will always go much older. I know that there is a risk in that situation that I could be pumped and dumped too so Im still cautious and careful with how I present myself etc but I figured that even if I'm close to the wall in my late twenties, I still have a certain value in my SMV/ physical appearance if the age difference is quite large? Am I seeing this correctly or is are there holes in my logic?
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/18 03:32 AM
3

Thankyou :) xxx
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 02:09 AM
2

Hello :) I’d like to ask about the current state of my relationship from my partners perspective please! :) Thankyou
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 01:42 AM
3

I 100% agree and am struggling with this right now. I would also like to add not just having one night stands/ hook ups but also giving or sharing very devoted sex/ intimacy with someone that is not committed to you ( whether you're in love with him, and he doesn't feel the same or a fuck buddies situation- I've been in both on two separate occasions) also has the same effect. Sharing that deeply emotional sex, with someone that you struggle get a commitment from, makes you unable to openly be s…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/17 02:49 PM
2

Thankyou so much for your reply! You've described a big part of my problem!! Im embarrassed to say that I sometimes put the guy I'm interested on a pedestal mainly because I seek someone I can respect, and if it doesnt work out or they don't feel the same, I just feel crushed. I'm going to take some time to work on what value I bring to the table and improve my weak points.I also want to say I really admire how pragmatic you are!!
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/16 08:59 AM
1

I shall do this, it'll be challenging aswell. You're right, perspective can be skewed if you believe there is no one better out there for you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/16 08:48 AM
1

It was a wonderful contribution and I do think that more discussions should be had on this forum about vetting a partner! VigilantRedRooster is certainly one of my favourite redditors. Always good advice!
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/16 08:44 AM
1

Oh you wrote that! Wow! Thats awesome! Thankyou :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 07:08 AM
1

But I think getting some sort of "tingle" from being around your partner is needed somewhat? I think that comes from naturally feeling respect and admiration for your man :) But I totally understand to not value tingles over a legitimate and thorough vetting process!
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 07:01 AM
1

Agreed! I'm not overweight but I do have fitness goals of glute hypertrophy, lower fat body % etc. so I'll keep working away on that. I'll dress more feminine aswell, I do believe that is something I need to improve on. Hmm for hobbies, I do enjoy fitness? I enjoy watching UFC/MMA but that could be seen as a masculine thing (eh I dont care I love it too much) I like to read aswell but I should expand more on that too! Haha yoga doesn't count, thats hilarious.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 06:58 AM
1

Urgh, thats such horrendous behavior! Where is the honour in these men? Totally with you on the united front! Girls have to look out for each other
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 12:16 AM
1

Haha! Yes, I totally understand, I dont look for a 10 in every area. But there are some traits that I really desire and need to have "respect" for him such as maturity, and someone who has his shit together on the most part. But you have a good point. what if I meet someone who has all those things but isnt a faithful person etc. So I'll have to think about it All the best with the guy you like, hopefully something happens between you guys!
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 12:13 AM
1

Getting the "tingles" is probably causing these alpha widow emotions. I'll try to accept that this is part of the process but urgh its soo frustrating! Its like you need time to recover some perspective before you're ready to correctly receive the next prospect. Dating around my SMV is probably the best route so I'll have to really think about that in terms of my own SMV/RMV etc I'll focus on improving my SMV despite being close to the "wall" already.There is always something we can continually …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 12:08 AM
2

100% agreed! I'm happiest at the thought of adoring and admiring someone relationship wise but only if they deserve it
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 11:51 PM
2

Yes! Thats the dilemma I feel that I'm facing. It makes it difficult to move on from someone or even have the will to continue dating. Ideally I'd want long term relationship from one person that I feel fulfilled in both RMV and SMV and that he feels the same for me. Thankyou for your input. I'll keep in mind that these "alpha widow" emotions are something that is normal to feel during this process, I thought I was perhaps doing something wrong. Do you have any advice/tips on how to vet someone?
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 11:49 PM
1

Wow! I can imagine all the alpha males that you would've encountered in special operation forces!! Thankyou for the good advice! I'll definitely keep in mind, the befriending girls at work! Thats an excellent strategy to weed out the chads!
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 11:40 PM
2

Im soo happy for you!! I remember reading your initial post when it was first on RPW, and wondered how to navigate such a situation being in a "limbo" phase but I really hoped you guys could work it out and it looks like there has been a good outcome in the end! He sounds like a lovely man with good character and values. Be proud of you efforts! Its very inspiring for all!
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/16 03:16 AM
1

I like carrying things around that make me feel prepared to clean up, freshen up etc at any moment so I always keep a packet of antibacterial wipes, antibacterial hand gel that smells girly and flowery, pads/tampons, a pink portable perfume atomiser with your favourite perfume and lip balm and plenty of mint chewing gum. And then of course the other essentials like my wallet,phone, earphones etc. My work drawer contains a powder compact, deodorant, lip gloss, eye make up remover and cotton buds …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/16 11:34 AM
2

In my opinion, Monk mode is used for women who have been truly hurt in a relationship and need time to heal or have gone very far off the RPW path and need time to assess their headspace and life. I would suppose monk mode would be helpful for you in this instance as I think this connection with this guy has take up alot of your identity and drained you. Please go out and re-discover the stuff that made you happy before he came into your life. Enjoy your femininity, get into fitness and beauty r…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/16 06:05 AM
18

You tried to be the perfect woman for him and reading that and the amount of effort, just made me ache for you as I have been in your position. Winning an uninterested guy over by altering your behaviour and life situation (moving closer to his Uni despite whatever preference you may have had for yourself if he wasn't in the picture, breaking rules, risking your future/education to accomodate him, which says more about your own lack of self respect and recklessness than caring for him honestly) …
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/16 06:20 AM
1

Hey u/VigilantRedRooster I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all your replies/comments here on RPW. You are a wealth of knowledge! And find your insights valuable :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/16 07:47 AM
1

I just wanted to say that I think your responses are insighful AF. Where did you learn all of the nuances of relationships? Just experience Im assuming? cheers
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/16 08:42 AM
3

“Don’t flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/16 08:06 AM
3

Mine are a challenge that I hide behind a joke. Usually its a intellectual debate or a counter argument that I'm hoping he'll come up with something witty or one-up me. I respect men who are quick witted or intelligent. But I notice I do that to my guy friends aswell, the ones I really connect with or feel like I can truly be myself around? ........Maybe Im just a jerk lol But I never intend to hurt the guys feelings, I always try to make it funny, sort of LOL but if they cant keep up or meet me…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 06:39 AM
1

@Ojisan1 thanks so much for sharing the great article! Ive learned some new things now :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/16 09:56 AM
2

Yay! my first flair ever! :) Great idea
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/16 05:29 AM
1

I'm just reading the lyrics of this song! Its really hits the nail on the head!
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/16 10:10 AM
1

Thats beautiful my dear
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/16 09:32 AM
2

Good: Im enjoying a crush on someone and I noticed the things I value and my approach is so different this time! I value surrendering and not being in control and wanting to give respect. I've forgiven the past, and got rid of my alpha widow issues at last! I feel happy and kind of free. I've put down very concise plans for diet and fitness so its time to execute. Bad: Self conscious about going the gym haha Ugly: Still have a back of my mind fear that I'll never be good enough for a great guy.T…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 11:44 AM
2

I just wanted to say you're an absolute inspiration! Keep up the great work!
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/16 11:29 AM
2

I watch youtube videos of people that inspire me, usually interviews! If Im feeling out of sorts or depressed, it helps to remind yourself of who and where you want to be! and then you start going over your plans/goals/checklists! haha
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/16 10:34 AM
2

hahaha! oh yes a little kitten can be exhausting! it really is looking after a baby! She will grow out of it soon! My kitty was a devil during the teething phase, they get hyper and scratchy!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 10:30 AM
1

Good: I found the more I learn about surrendering, its easier to talk to men who display traits of that golden balance of beta/alpha because I defer to them in conversation & can see are worth my time. I used to be terrified of talking to high value men... And I graciously but quickly letting go of the unsuitable guys that I used to kind of put up chit chatting with. Bad: Man I really have to get into a exercise routine. And not feel self conscious going to this particular gym cause its a UFC fi…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 10:25 AM
1

What sort of relationship you had with your father? Positive? Negative? Nonexistent?
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 10:00 AM
2

I absolutely adore Elle Florence She's a lawyer, very articulate,well mannered, and has a very feminine professional look. You can see in her lifestyle that she takes good care of herself and enjoys being a lady. Another one that I follow obsessively is Raeview Her style is very classy and she looks very well put together! She sums up my skincare, hair and make up goals in one really haha! And her personality is friendly, open and honest too, the high end products she suggests are actually worth…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 02:35 PM
1

Thankyou dear, I'll try this after a while, I'm still contemplating my own alpha widow behavior of late......and about going to grab " The Surrendered Single" on Amazon. Do you think it'll help with whats I have going on? xoxo
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/15 09:20 AM
1

This is truly wonderful advice! It takes a lot of work to reinvent yourself esp if you want to appear consistent but it'll be the boost that i NEED. He has certain standards and traits that I wish to live up to & obtain in a partner and I think its an accurate summary of who he is, but its still projection and as you said, my focus is better spent on myself. I'll just have to be carefully wary that my "better improved" behavior and desires are not to subconsciously "appease him" or win him back …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 12:36 PM
1

I love and I mean LOVE your post! I've screenshot it so I can read it again if I feel a bit sad! Thanks for understanding and your wisdom! Its so ridiculously hard but I feel like I can find my way out soon! xoxo
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 12:28 PM
1

Hahaha! oh I used to talk about him a lot to my closest friend and go over all his wonderful traits and how he matched my male wish list! I'll stop that now! Not one more word! He doesnt deserve all this energy I'm investing in him! xx
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 12:18 PM
1

I'll try to be more friendly & receptive with people in general! Not going to try to get anything romantic as I'm still feeling a bit raw about it all switching up the focus is deffo what I need to do! xox
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 12:15 PM
2

I'm definantly an alpha widow, this is actually a new term for me that I've just learned from your post so I've been doing some reading online.... its changed my perspective rather dramatically- wake up call! So thankyou so much for that! oh yes I'm definantly going to do all those things you've advised, dig into hobbies and make some effort to progress in life! I'm still hesitant about even thinking about other guys right now, I don't trust myself at the moment ha and I don't see potential in a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 12:11 PM
1

Oh yes sorry, I know that this sort of behavior is an inherent trait for females but for me its to such a degree that its gone awry and I can only assume that it needs to change, in short I'm being an alpha widow I used the term "blue pill" and "oneitis" to try to describe the low self esteem, self defeating feeling that one "male" would get by behaving that way which perhaps wasnt the best way to describe my situation as I can see how its misunderstood. sorry! Still a bit new to all this haha x
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 11:55 AM
1

Thankyou ladies! u/StingrayVC u/cats_or_get_out u/RPMoonMoon u/itsrainingchutney <3 I'll definantly take this approach more firmly than before (I have tried but it went nowhere ha!) The hamster in my head is totally getting out of control and I do only see him operate in one environment which is work so I don't see the whole picture. man its still so hard but! He's on his best behavior all the time u/StingrayVC I loved the line "Always remain outwardly neutral" Its been my mantra at work, return…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 11:48 AM
8

I really love Ivanka Trump, She's feminine & charming but very engaged and open. Her communication and pose during interviews is great! Despite reporters sometimes trying to get a "gotcha" moment but shes unflappable. I also do love that she supports women being empowered to have a great career/ life and also embrace being female and not feel they have to copy the males. Appearance is clean and impeccable and she holds her head up with pride.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 01:04 PM
1

I needed this! Thankyou for this wonderful post!
/r/TheRedPill17/06/15 01:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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