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HiDarlings Archive

View 0 posts and 72 comments by HiDarlings on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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16

Right? I'm deep into leftist feminist spaces. I never heard anyone say only men cheat, are abusive, get std, etc. Let alone that being a majority assumption. Now there is a nuance where on average more men cheat, and when men are abusive/violent that can pose a greater threat to women than vice versa (again, on average). But OP is making such a large claim (the apparent feminist assumption that only men do shitty things) that its hard to engage with.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 05:19 AM
5

Dude. Men cheat more. https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000280 Regarding all your other claims: you're just saying stuff. Without anything to back it up. What lead you to these very strong claims? Is there some data I'm missing? It it some bad experiences that you extrapolated to all women? I'm just really curious what brings someone to these beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 05:11 AM
0

Alright. Since it's 'debate' and 'cmv' I'll steelman the other side. First of all, it really sucks for the guy. The woman who cheated did a truly vile thing. Those are given, not I'm question. Then: there is the child. Who is not at fault here. Children thrive better with the emotional or financial support from two parents rather than one. So it's better for the kid if the non biological dad stays involved, and it's worse when the non biological dad doesn't. How this all should be regulated? Man…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 05:31 AM
–

Every movement that claims it is oppressed eventually justifies persecution and violence over time. I agree. Though: some claims were correct, others incorrect. Like christians being oppressed in Moorish Spain, blacks being oppressed in Jim Crow America, or the Uyghurs being oppressed in China. And I would very much say: women in the west before 1970. You could easily make an argument that men were entirely held responsible for the financial position of their family... True, and that gives the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 02:20 PM
–

I don't get the comparison here. Nazis advocated for genocide on Jews. I don't advocate for genocide or even any harm against men. Patriarchy to me is just the term that describes how society has historically and in some aspects still pushes men to the top. Examples as (historically) married women not being allowed their own bank account or (currently) famous, powerful women getting on average far more personal violent threats on social media than similarly famous, powerful men. Patriarchy to me…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:06 PM
-2

Right? Thought it would be higher. I'm a guy, me and most of my friends ro find patriarchy a useful frame in how society tends to push men to the top of most hierarchies. Apparantly we are not representative, learned something.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:22 PM
9

The 'do you want kids' thing surprised me. Most of my girlfriends friends definitely want kids. Most of my friends are ambivalent about it. So it runs counter to my personal experience. Learned something, cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:18 PM
5

So you prefer gender roles as they are in Afghanistan? Where women are forced to veil up, cant study, cant work? Seems to my like they need some feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:53 AM
6

I've listened to some Macken Murphy lately, I suggest you do too. He is a scientist in the field of dating and human attraction. Turns out: women don't like large age gaps, men do. When women are free to choose a partner without burdens of financial dependency, they choose men 2-4 years their senior. It's only in deeply patriarchal societies that the age gap is larger, as there is greater financial dependency. , it's just a fact that many women are attracted to older men and that being an attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:06 AM
3

None of my friends are assholes. Most are kind of nerdy, it/data Science guys or pHd. All but 2 have relationships. This statement is so blatantly untrue.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 05:13 AM
-1

Yes it's controlling. Clubbing is a fairly normal part of growing up. Its normal she wants to try it out. Try to find a way where she gets to experiment with clubbing, and you feel less anxious. Does she have friends you trust? Maybe make ask her to go with them. Or go with her, make it a date night. Also: people go to clubs for different reasons, not everyone is there to flirt. I'm in an over 7 year relation, still go to a club on e every 2 months or so. Not to flirt, but because it's fun to le…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 05:06 AM
–

Disgusting and unappealing feel like the same to me. Is it a feeling with no underlaying reason for it? For me: I hate tomatoes. No reason, I just find them disgusting. Then again, I don't try to moralize tomato eating. It feels to me like you are, so I'm trying to figure out why. Care to dive a little bit deeper? I feel like there is an underlying reason I'm missing. Btw, I'm fine with it and lucky me, I don't hace traumatic experiences. So I'm pretty sure that not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:39 AM
–

Yeah! And I'm trying to figure out why. Can you elaborate on why so many men find a women's sexual history so unappealing?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:27 AM
–

Sounds reasonable, thanks for the reply! And if you're a bit older, with a bit lore experience: would that shift your preferences you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:22 AM
–

Never did so well in Chemistry, i studied math in uni. If I love her, she loves and she wishes to be monogamous with me: yes sure. I'll ask her! She'll be back from France Sunday. Can you answer where this ick regarding women sexuality comes from?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:19 AM
–

I doubt that. Just want to understand where this ick regarding women sexual history come from. Again no judgement, if you prefer celibacy. I just want to understand
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:04 AM
–

Why is that a problem to you? Doesn't bother me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:56 AM
–

It's fun! Those hookups, casual dating and relations were fun experiences. Can give you new insights. Different people can teach you about how they have sex, about new methods for forplay, new toys, etc. You can take this knowledge to new relationships. Edit: my preference. If you prefer celibacy, no judgement here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:52 AM
–

I live in progressive circles, where most everyone (including me) describes themselves a feminist. Which to me means equal opportunity for men and women, and tackling issues that specific genders hurt form (such a gender wage gap for women, or higher addiction and violence rates for men). If believe you call that egalitarian: fine, we are just using different words for the same concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:40 AM
–

Maybe if that's your kink? If you fetishize the idea of other guys desiring your girlfriend?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:35 AM
–

I'm happy my girlfriend has a sexual history. We both have had about 20 bed partners before we got together. I like having had those experiences, and ik glad my girlfriend got to have them too. What's the hang up about women having a sexual history?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:33 AM
–

Why do you think straight dating culture copies male gay culture? Intuitively it seems strange that the much larger, much more normative one copies the smaller one
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 05:31 AM
-2

Most of my friends are kind guys, and all but 2 have relationships. Being kind seems to work well for me and my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 08:36 AM
1

No, but it's also not relevant. Even if its 80/20 or 90/10, that still millions of people. So if you value these norms, give them to everyone. No need to gender the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 04:13 PM
4

Again, why gender these. Some women like sex. Some men like security. If you, as a guy, are invested in this idea you can refuse sex for 2 months. If you, as a woman, like security you can refuse to let the guy pay for all first x dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 03:32 PM
8

Why do either have to be gendered? Man can also do decide to stop having sex until 2 months. Women can also decide not to let the man pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 03:02 AM
1

Thank you for your answer, I enjoy reading it! It is an interesting take. I happen to also be in my late twenties, but been with the same guy some years now, though nowhere near as long as you. So I feel I relate to you. Some response though: first, I don't see sleeping with someone as poor impulse control. Sleeping with someone to me (and my girlfriend) usually was a good, worthwhile experience. Its not like eating fries, where your impulses tell you one thing and later you regret it. It's like…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 05:47 PM
2

I don't understand what you mean. Sure sex being fun is subjective. But my partner and me are both on the same side of that subjectivity. Both of us enjoy sex, and enjoyed sleeping around when we were single. So I'm happy she had that experience and I'm happy I had that experience. It is an argument without shaming anyone. That's what you asked, so I provided it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 02:04 PM
1

It's a bit unfalsifiable right? You say all men have it, I say I and the guys I know don't have it. You say it's because of our politics, we're just surpressing it. What, if any, evidence would convince you not all men have this ick? It would be similar to me claiming: no guys feel an ick towards their partners sexual history. You say: I do feel that ick. I say: it's only because of your conservative politics. Secretly you don't care about your partners sexual history. Secretly you want to be se…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:49 PM
1

You're most likely liberal and amongst other like-minded liberals who will shame male preferences (aka shaming men who go for young women, low bodycount, or non-fat women). Like you aren't exactly breaking the mold here. I get you're trying to insult me, but I want to respond anyway. I am for sure a progressive guy, as are most of my friends. I however am not shaming you for your preferences, nor my friends. If you don't like to sleep with high count women, fat women or young (legal age I assume…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 12:36 PM
1

All men have this biological ick. This is a strong claim that runs counter to my experience. Neither me nor any of my guy friends have this ick. Unless some evidence is provided I'll respectfully disagree. You may have this ick, but it's not some universale male thing. Regarding the article: interesting read! Learned something new, over ten or exactly 2 sexual partners are the most likely to divorce. Some nuance from the article however: the article stipulates that there might he underlying caus…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 12:14 PM
1

I'm not a cuckold. I don't have that fetish. Being cuckold is fine, if that's what gives you joy go for it. I don't have that ick. Again, I'm happy my girlfriend had those good experiences in her past, and I'm grateful I have them in mine. Now to the argument: increased statistical risk when you have higher body count. Interesting, care to elaborate? Increased risk of what? And care to share some sources? Now I'm curious to learn more about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:46 AM
1

I got 1 argument you didn't list: having sex is fun. Having a one night stand or friends with benefits can be an exciting and joyful experience. I'm glad I got to experience them, and I'm glad my girlfriend has had these good experiences in her past. It's happiness about the others happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:42 AM
1

I'm 27 year old guy, with mainly late 20s guy friends. None of my friends prefer dating virgins. Where do to get this idea from, that people my age prefer virgin women? It runs very counter to my experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:59 AM
1

Can someone explain to me why they think high body count is bad? I'm a dude, got a relation of 3 years, both of us have body count of about 20. To me sex and sleeping around is just a fun activity. An interesting, worthwhile experience. I'm happy my girlfriend got to experience one night stands, fwb etc. Because I enjoyed them, and I am happy my partner had these good experiences in her past as well. Additional benefit: it makes you a better bed partner. It gives you some diverse perspectives on…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:53 AM
6

I'd say no. We're all imperfect humans. We can love our partners, and still mess up or internally justify dumb or toxic behavior. Cheating is a shitty thing to do, but it does not by default disqualify love for your partner. Now if the cheating occurs repetitively over a longer period of time, that might be a good indications that you don't love your partner. Still no guarantee, but if you keep cheating every month for let's say 3 years... I don't think you know what love is then. Exact same thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 05:37 AM
2

Dude, I'm on the left, consume mostly leftist media, and have a lot of left wing friends. Let me tell you: assigning sexual partners is incredibly unpopular among people that lean left wing. That's never going to happen as a result from left wing folk.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 05:28 AM
1

I would love to have sex everyday. My girlfriend is down about 2 times a week. So we settle for 2 times a week. Vacation are awesome though, often multiple times a day, love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 04:08 PM
4

You can get music for free, yet people still pay for Spotify. You can download films for free, yet people still pay for Netflix. A lot of guys apparantly like the parasocial relation of an OnlyFans subscription. So they pay for it. I personally see it as just a modernized version of sex work. If you feel the former is fine, the latter is probably okay too.
/r/AntiFeminists21/07/22 03:38 AM
1

Dear Jim, please think about what you are saying. Here we have a born kid. The mother choose not to have an abortion. Odds are she wants and loves this kid. As a society we have to ask: what's the best outcome dor this kid? To have their own mother there to care for them? Ideally also for the dad to be in the picture? Of course. If either does not want to be in the picture, is it still good for that kid of the non-present parent aid them financially, be that mum or dad? Of course. A woman needin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:20 AM
1

The reason this is not common is that in this scenario there is a born child. Now the child has to be considered. It is generally better for a child if they are supported by 2 instead of 1. A father supporting the child, be that emotionally or financially is good for that kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 04:47 AM
1

I don't mind at all. I don't think that's a relevant distinction or even true distinction. I read your comment as: make up alters your natural beauty, gym/grooming improves your natural beauty, and there is moral distinction where the former is bad and the latter good. Now why it's not relevant: the morality of either is fine. If you want to dress up, go to the gym, groom, put on make up to feel or look prettier: that's perfectly fine. You like it, you're not harming anyone doing it, so there is…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 07:58 AM
4

Well what's the alternative? A women wanting an abortion, and the guy forcing her to stay pregnant for nine months? Or a women wanting to stay pregnant but a guy forcing her the abort the fetus? I get that's it's not optimal for guys, but not giving the woman full autonomy over her body seems to be far more draconic than any other solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 03:51 AM
8

Why is that even relevant? It's so context dependant. Sometimes a woman might need more help, sometimes a man. What do you wanna do, say ' hey dude, i see you need help but I already maxed out my amount of help to men for this month, so I only help women till June'? No that's silly of course. If you see someone struggling, help them. That's just being a good person. If you hold the view that women are less intelligent: stop holding that view. Maybe, and it's a big maybe, there is slight intellig…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 03:10 AM
18

How about this: be nice and helpful when you see people (men and women) struggling with something, AND don't think of women as less intelligent?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 08:44 PM
-1

I'm not responding to the specifics of this case. Maybe Amber truly is the villain here, I haven't read the evidence regarding this case so I don't know. And, as can be seen in my comment, I do think domestic violence against men is relevant and not being properly dealt with by society. I was merely responding to the claim that this is a gendered issue and that men have it worse, by citing statistics that indicate otherwise. If you have some source that undercuts the findings of the study I cite…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 06:03 AM
1

This frame kind of amazes me. Of course, women abusing men in the house is a problem and yes, society does not deal with it very well. Yet let's not ignore statistics. Far, far more women are abused to a point of being in real physical harm than men within the household. If this is a gendered issue, women have it far worse. https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS#:~:text=1%20in%203%20women%20and,be%20considered%20%22domestic%20violence.%22&text=1%20in%207%20women%20and,injured%20by%20an%20intimate%20partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 05:15 AM
5

Every study indicates that in the West, age gaps in relations are shrinking in pretty much every single age group. The notion that older guys are hooking up with younger girls en masse Is. Not supported by statistics. If you focus on guys your age you're gonna be fine
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 05:30 AM
6

Seeing it as if 1 is at fault for a divorce is to me already far too simplistic. Many relations fall apart not because someone is at fault, but because people grow apart. ​ No idea where you get the statistic from. Last I checked, Alimony payed by the woman has been rising for the last few decades. In new divorces, it is quite proportional to the wealth and income disparity; the more wealthy divorcee pays more alimony. That makes sense, as it is part of the marital legal contract you hold so hig…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 08:47 AM
12

First of all; people do get punished if they break the contract. Divorce is expensive, and quite the logistical hassle. ​ Secondly; it's not the 1950s anymore. If the woman earns more and custody is split, she will pay alimony, not the other way around. ​ Thirdly; merely seeing marriage as a legal contract is reductive. For many people it is so much more than that. Many people see it as the ultimate expression of love and commitment. Legally that might not mean much, but emotionally and personal…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 07:30 AM
33

Right? Here I was, thinking women live longer than men, but it turns out they just age faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 06:43 AM
1

For me, I had a few dates, had a few casual hookups and then met my partner outside of tinder. Overall, it was a fun experience, casual sex is a fun, healthy experience to have. 4/5 recommend
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 05:36 AM
2

Interesting question. ​ I would say it's simply more nuanced. First, it is entirely possible to have a close friendship with someone of another gender. I have two close female friends, one from before and one from after I met my girlfriend. So either I'm some type of extraordinary special guy, or it's very possible to have cross gender platonic friendships. ​ Secondly, Emotional affairs can be rough I guess (though I never experienced it). I suppose it's mainly about extent. Sure, discussing you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 02:07 PM
11

You misinterpret your own experience as the norm. I have two close female friends, one from before I started dating my gf, one from after. Both I can hang out with 1 on 1. And I'm not alone; though most friendships are same gender, there are plenty non sexual cross gender friendships out there. Why state something that is so clearly disproven by normal, day-to-day experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 02:02 PM
4

The question is why men date certain women. The main reason why a guy dates a girls specifically is commonly a great match in their personalities. So it is precisely what this discussion is about. One can still fall in love with and care for someone if they have mental issues you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 05:49 AM
4

You forgot: love, empathy, a great personality, great humor, an amazing intellect, compassionate etc. If you care only about looks, you're not gonna have a great relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 05:03 AM
12

Gonna politely disagree here. I have female friends, most of my guy friends also have female friends. Not because we are attracted to them, but because we like them as people. If you're gonna make a hard claim ' most guys this is or that' it's good to back it up with some research, especially if it's apparently disproven by normal, day to day interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 04:20 AM
10

Just so many things I want to ask you. First of all, what a strange dichotomy to make. All men rational... all women emotional. So many male hooligans that are clearly not acting rationally. So many female doctors, lawyers, journalists and engineers that are acting quite rational. You make this great claim, not backed up by any studies and very easily disproved by normal, day to day interactions with men and women. Why? ​ Second, I would assume that all genders find physical attraction AND perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 02:54 PM
7

Well yes you are very right of course, and that's precisely the point. Humans are complex, they have emotions and they have rational thought. Sometimes one is dominant, sometimes the other. Sometimes we are kind, sometimes we are unkind. We are complex. OP portrays women as these one dimensional creatures, he dehumanizes women. That is what I responded and objected to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 01:53 PM
25

Dude what the hell. Women are people with emotions, same as men. Women tend to love the men they are involved with for their personality, for their compassion and for their companionship. Why state such a ridiculously untrue statement that is so easily disproven by perfectly ordinary, daily interactions by millions of people all around the world. My girlfriend is with me because she loves me. I'm still a student, she finished her master's and already works full time so she has more money than me…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:29 PM
17

Plus most people fall in love with someone they can relate to. Big age differences make that harder, so more people will fall ik love with other people around their age. Also, OP seems to see relations in a purely sexual transactional manner and that's just really far outside how many relationship work. sure sex is important but it's not the end all be all. Personal connection and compassion are far more important
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:19 PM
1

Probably a joke but if it's a serious question you're gonna have to elaborate, i have no idea what you're talking about 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 07:35 AM
1

Progressive male here. I would say that no, edgy humor is not inherently bad. It can be quite fun. Yet humor that only revolves around punching down on disadvantaged communities, especially if the humorist is not a member of that community... I would say that's needlessly file and unhelpfully punching down. You can make edgy, dark humor without doing so. Only being able to be edgy by shitting on minorities just makes you a poor comic and mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 06:28 AM
18

Right? Silly thing to say from OP. I have conversations with women at work/uni/gym/bars and it's never with flirty intention, since I'm in a relation. I feel like the women I talk too understand that. Why make such a hard claim if you have nothing to back it up with, and so easily debunkable by normal everyday experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 07:28 AM
2

Thanks for the examples! Close guess, I'm Dutch. Stil don't really see the problem: so these guys are 'too nice' to women? How is that bad? Who is it hurting?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:40 PM
1

It's gonna be fine. If a guy/girl dumps you for being a poor kisser your first time kissing, you're better off without them. That's a clear sign of someone not having sufficient empathy and compassion. Over time you'll learn how to become a better kisser and that's great! It's also perfectly fine to be anxious about it, yet trust me: kissing can be great fun and so it will be for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:37 PM
1

I mean examples of subreddits :). I'm a bit hangover, so an internet dive into a new community sounds fun today. I'm 25 currently. Do I do admit: I'm a pretty progressive guy and this community appears pretty far out of my normal internet bubble. Which I like: it broadens my view of world. Regarding simping: that sounds just like men are nice to women, and you shun them for it. Why is it wrong to worship women if they are super cool? I for sure worship my girlfriend, she is great! Then again, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:16 PM
1

It's perfectly fine to be terrible at kissing at first. We all were terrible kissers. Just go for it with a guy/girl you like and have fun. You'll get better at it over time. Some tips: avoid rotating your tongue like a washing machine. Less tongue at first, s bit teasy. If the kiss continues you can always use more tongue later, but take it nice and easy at the start. And if you're anxious, just say it's your first kiss. I'm sure they'll understand, most people are kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:10 PM
2

Got some examples? And what the hell is a simp?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:02 PM
3

But this is a good thing right? It implies that some women are forced to stay in a marriage they don't like, merely for the financial security. As more wonen begint financially independent, they will be free to leave a marriage that doesn't work for them. That's a positive right? Less women in unhappy marriages
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 05:37 AM
8

Dude that's insane. I've been around my girlfriend 5 years, and sometimes we disagree. Yet she never calls me incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 06:48 AM
2

My girlfriend still wears make-up, even though she has a bf (me). She has no interest in dating other guys, yet she still wears make-up. She wears it because it's socially expected at her workplace (she is a political journalist), and because it makes her feel pretty. ​ There are tons of reasons to wear make up, not just attracting guys. Sure some girls might find that important at some occasions, yet let's not pretend that's the only reason. Added to that; guys also can improve on their estheti…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 10:09 AM
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