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View 2 posts and 38 comments by HorrorAd1946 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
32

HorrorAd1946/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 01:07 AM
2

HorrorAd1946/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:07 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

It comes down to the commitment and vows you made to another. I know many will say that once you are separated, you are no longer together. Separation never changes the vow you made, only the decree of divorcement you both are served by to court. Otherwise, when she went to her folks for some reason or any other separation, it would be justified. I also guess you also need to ask what values you have as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 06:22 PM
2

So for me, no bs answer, I know it wasn't 100% my fault like many others where told it was as well. After two years of counseling afterward, I realize I had my part, to whatever extent. Is it 5% perhaps? No one will ever really know. I don't want to know, don't care to know, I know what happen, why it failed and can't go back and change any of it on either side, so no, I dont beed validation, I already know and moved on in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:59 PM
1

Unfortunately, in a lot of states, spousal support resets the last time you were intimate. It's a trap many women use to extend support imo. Hope it's not the case for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:51 PM
3

I have to second commaderandcheese, he has pointed out very valuable things you need to focus on. You said you have no friends and because of that she was the only one, became full that the emotions you are feeling are because you truly love(d) her or because she filled a void. My wife, and I don't believe in soul mates, but you could say on my part was as close as you could get to that terminology. Life does go on, and you will as well. I believe in marriage, I believe in the sacred union, but …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 10:55 PM
8

I first think it is important for you to determine what is sucess? For me, almost two years out and I am still trying to recop financially, and emotionally. I have been blessed with a great career, but am so close to retirement now, I want to make sure that is secure. My goals I set for myself was to heal my mind, no longer feeling the need for someone else to fulfill me or "make" me happy, but truly being okay with me, by myself. I'm getting there, but not over the line yet. As far as someone e…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 07:46 AM
6

It is unusual and maybe something in your state, but premarital property value does not mean anything. The most she should be entitled to, is half of the principal reduction from the time of marriage to divorce. I would get another lawyer or tell him this. A lot of lawyers don't know this. Don't settle until you get this settled.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 09:13 AM
3

I was divorced in Indiana to my first wife. This would have been in 2010 when it was final. There was no spousal support or maintenance when I got divorced. Perhaps things have changed since.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:27 AM
2

In Ohio, it is one year of spousal support for every 3 years of marriage, after 20-25 years it is permanent. She may not say she will go after it right now, but after getting divorced in Ohio, I would pick a different state!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 12:10 AM
1

I think everyone grieves differently, and the time it takes has many factors to it. If for example you had a childhood, that left you with abandonment issues or co-dependant, it will take years unfortunately. I feel it also has to do with what we decide to focus on, if you can get yourself involved in charity work helping others you focus more on others and your own problems seem to not seem as severe. We as men tend to move on before we are healed however to help recover only to usually make th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 10:40 PM
1

I understand your pain as many above have as well. Will she get what she has coming, that is the wrong focus which will only destroy you. You will have to learn that she is choosing the life she wants to live, regardless of whether you understand it, or hurt by it. In the end, we all have to answer for the life choices we make, just not on our timing or schedule. I echo the comments above, focus on healing yourself. I have read it takes most men 2-4 years to recover and heal from divorce. We ten…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 01:40 PM
0

You have an extreme view and ridiculous view. Believe what you like, it matters not to me. Thankfully this isn't your reddit. Perhaps you should follow your own advice!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 12:42 AM
-2

Because we are mandated to abide the laws of the land as best we can.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 11:40 PM
12

Does it really matter in the long run? It appears you still have hopes it means more than it does. Women sometimes just need to check that you are still on the hook to keep the contol over you. I am always a proponent of fixing a marriage where possible, however there are also times to just let go and allow others to live the life they think they want. One day whether confessed or not, they will regret with the chocies made. Focus on your son, and rebuilding and healing yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 11:11 PM
-6

It depends on what you believe. Marriage is one of the greatest blessings given to us by God. Marriage fails because we fail to choose the right mates, and focus on what makes marriages work. It takes two people with like beliefs and like passion to choose everyday to prioritize that union. To make the other their first priority and make their life a little better worth living. I realize I'm the odd guy out, and I'm okay with that. I didn't take this advice and thus, I'm here in this site with y…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 08:45 PM
1

My wife is an alcoholic, was abusive both mentally, and physically. Just before the end of our marriage before divorce filing, she came home drunk, attacked me. It litterially took and hour of me trying to get dressed to just leave my home, then she called the police to try to get me in trouble. Problem was, she was so drunk she actually told the police the truth, in her words "to get a reaction" from me. I don't believe in divorce. I'm also a Christian and I believe as God said, divorce was nev…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 11:31 PM
2

Yes another plea. Genuine desire is sometimes confused by irrational emotions or external noise in someone's ear. You never really know what someones genuine desire is, some people are better actors than others. This theory is left to self interpretation of someone else's desire. We are tainted in these situations and in life itself to think we know the true desire of any other individual!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 11:27 AM
9

A good friend of mine used a saying...the thermometer of the bedroom, is the statis of the marriage. Another one he used, sex is only 5% of a marriage unless it's not happening then it's 95% of a marriage. Have you sought counseling? Have you asked what was missing the make her feel more intimate with you? Women tend to slow or stop giving their bodies when they don't feel emotional loved. Men feel it through the physical act. Perhaps a conversation worth having to change the barometer?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 12:12 AM
3

This is imo part of the problem, she can never make you happy. That is something only you can do for yourself. If you cant learn to be "happy" in every situation you have in life, you will only have that feeling when everything is going your way and in your view! I am speaking from experience and counseling on this myself. We decided everyday our own mental and emotional stance. But when we stop focusing on failures or disappointments we see things differently. As I said, I'm not trying to convi…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 10:34 AM
8

I'm still in awe the number of people, both sexes that see marriage as such a disposal thing. I don't know your situation, however the commitment made when we make a vow is supposed to be for life. Society has helped numb the masses to believe it is better to just move on then learn how to focus on what it takes to be in a marriage and stay in a marriage. I'm not trying to convince you as your mind is made up, so with that being said why prolong the inevitable. As you said, your wife has hopes o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 11:02 PM
1

You can speak what ever language she feels fills her emotional cup, however this often doesn't happen overnight. Women are often hesitant as often they feel it is an attempt to just "get them back" only to stop once you feel things are okay. I'm not suggesting that this is your case or that you will or would do this. I am pro save your marriage if there are not physical or other life threatening end gamer problems. It sometimes takes time, separation and no or little interaction for some to see …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 12:51 AM
4

I have a slight different opinion. I believe in marriage, and believe it is a life long commitment. However society has made it a feel good or throw it away thing. That being said, I feel that if you knew in your heart this was the one for life, you would not be here asking the question. Past experiences bring caution, but does not diminish the excitement. Perhaps, take more time to make sure your heart and your head are in the sane place, seek some premarital counseling to get better tools for …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 11:58 PM
1

Kmills(your alias for reddit) I don't know your story, but I am reminded of perhaps an old wives tale, that many hands make light work, or the more you share the more that help carry the burden. If you choose not to share that itself is okay and your right. I understand the darkness, the pain and burden that comes along with reaching this site. It's a dual edge sword. One that offers others that have experienced many things on their journey to offer advice, have emphaty with situations we deal o…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:14 PM
2

I like what you wrote yourself. It is always better to stay positive. There are many on this site that I'm sure can use the inspiration. I know it's not always the woman, and I know it's not always the man. Technology is such a blessing but yet such a curse! We have been conditioned to believe their lies that marriage and commitment is valueless and a thing of the past. That its better to just move on than learn to resolve. We are no longer a world of marriages, we have become a world of "for no…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/22 10:23 PM
3

I'm curious, it appears that you were aware of the mental health issues before you got married? This is not meant to be an insult or attack on you or your character. We as a society continue to marry knowing of issues prior to making a vow and committing for what is supposed to be the rest of your lives. I would suggest seeking professional help for both you and your wife and look into other resources to help to learn how to enjoy one another again. You are both very young, if divorce is what yo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 12:47 AM
2

Happiness is not found in someone else or from someone else. Your searching for imo of things only you can give yourself in the marriage or out of the marriage. I in no way am negating your situation, I however don't believe in divorce. That being said, I am here as well, not because I changed my mind but because she left. I have found when we focus on ourselves, all troubles are only multiplied and amplified. It sounds your wife needs help, but not sure divorce solves the problem. Running from …
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 12:22 AM
3

I feel for you, and felt the same way. It is my experience that it is not enough for a woman to hear"I will change, I will do anything" because in truth to them it is just words to passify for a small season. Through my counseling, I have found that a man has to learn to be raw with his mate. Needs to learn to see things through her perceptive and not just his, willing to be open and honest and admit the wrongs and seek forgiveness. Marriage is about learning our partner and trying to meet those…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/22 10:31 PM
7

I don't think it's about finding a better partner, better sex or anything else really. There was a reason, hopefully more than hormones that brought the two of you together. If you can't find help to make what you have work, you unfortunately more than likely end up of this mirrogo round all over. Learning how to build each other up, learning how to admit fault when it exists, takes time and both partners need to put the effort in. Divorce is not the first choice, should be after you have exhaus…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 12:29 AM
1

It seems to be a repetitive theme, not for all but a lot that go through divorce. Our mind hopes for the best outcome and often doesn't address the reality. I too still have dreams, yet I stop, I pray that God please give me peace as it is just my mind at work and I often can go back to sleep in peace. I would suggest see a therapist to help work through your troubles. What works for some doesn't work for others, so you need to try to find what works for you. Best wishes
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 01:37 AM
1

Others have said well enough so far. Some men are able to look past this and still try to settle things out instead of divorce, I could never do that myself. Once she has violated herself, I could never go back. I can only offer my sympathy and pray God bring healing to your soul. Divorce is hard enough, let alone having to deal with this. And just a side note, they won't last, it will pass and both will realize what they did, not that is much consolation. Use this site as needed to continue to …
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 11:38 PM
5

If you desire to work the marriage out, then it takes you both to reconnect and learn how to fill the cup to speak. The mistake men and women make when getting married is the become "one flesh" not to say it is wrong to have your own hobby or interests, but learning how to meet the needs of each other is foremost important. You explained how great of Dad you are and all the things you do for them, but I did not read anything about how you met her needs or desires. I'm not suggesting that you cha…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:41 PM
7

I don't know either of you, but what I have learned, is that many both male and female feel that there is someone else when things end and granted often there is. When my wife, I felt the same way, she said many of the things your wife said. Side story, my wife and her family have a history of mental problems and she is still an alcoholic. That being said, there was no one else, but yet she left because how she felt, whether real or unreal. When I was going through my counseling, my counselor sa…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 11:14 PM
7

I don't want to beat a dead horse. I feel the problem with today's society is we use the "divorce" word as common as hello. My mother once told me, never utter the word divorce, because once the seed is planted, it eventually grows. Are there problems from your statements above, of course, are they not repairable, that's only a question between each of you. As men, all we have in this world is our word, and when our word means nothing so do we. Dont take a vow that your not willing to keep. That…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 06:43 PM
1

I can say the decision you have made has two heads, one that could lead her to stop and get help, the other to the conclusion you are now on. I never recommend divorce as the first choice. I went through similar situation, I stopped drinking and she could not. It then just turned ugly from that point on. I refused to leave my bed or my home and figured if she was that unhappy she could sleep in one of the three guest rooms, which she did upto her moving out. Your son as many have pointed out, wi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 11:33 PM
2

You need a lawyer unfortunately, I was divorced in Indiana and with the house being in only your name, does that mean you bought the house before you were actually married? If so,it is premarital and she is not entitled to the equity, but only half the principal reduction from the time married until the time you filed. I hate to say don't do it alone. You need someone who knows the law. Child support is a different story, and will be set by the court. Your 401k, if a lawyer is involved should ha…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 01:40 AM
2

I'm not sure about Texas, but if you owned the home prior to the marriage, it is typical that that house is yours and she is entitled to half the principal paid during the marriage. You need to find out what Texas says about premarital property if this would apply.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 01:57 PM
2

Thank you, I appreciate what you said. Experience helps us help others if folks want to listen. One other word of advice, don't get involved with anyone that isn't completely through their divorce either and dont ignore the red flags. It never works, it may work short term but never for the long haul.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:58 PM
9

I think healing for each of us is different. For me, it's been a year and a half and I know I'm no where ready to be in any kind of relationship. I did some counseling and the one thing I learned about myself, was I need(ed) to learn to be okay with myself and no one else to depend on or focus on. I feel most men get lost in trying to please a woman, and lose themselves. I also have friends as divorce seems to be on an uptick right now going through the same thing. Some have chosen booze, others…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 12:53 AM
4

I have to say, I completely agree. In today's society, everyone thinks the solution is divorce. The realization is that you only get what you give, you want a change and happiness in the marriage, stop focusing on self and on her, amazing how fast that change not only affects you but also her. I would say the same thing to a woman. I hate to see anyone think divorce is the solution, it's the cop out!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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