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Hot-apricot Archive

View 0 posts and 136 comments by Hot-apricot on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

I’m kind of tempted to tell them: “Unfortunately my husband passed away last year,” because it will make them feel like a shitty person for asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:36 AM
61

Imagine a potential employer requesting this 😂 yeah let’s see if you vibe with the team before we hold a job interview!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 02:45 PM
15

I thought she was being cynical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 03:08 PM
1

I don’t quite understand the issue with not texting in between. I mean, once something (specific time and location - I agree in this case of this thread it might have been too vague) has been agreed upon, it’s agreed upon. It’s happening. And no use texting after that because talking face to face is better anyway. So I would show up. Is this a cultural thing, maybe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:54 PM
9

Unfortunately, there is. It devalues you in the eyes of a man. Makes you seem ‘easy’ or ‘desperate’. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:16 PM
6

6 months is great. No red flag here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:56 AM
34

sex blah-sitivism should be the new norm. For it is more accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:18 PM
9

This! The solution is to block them yourself once they come out of the woods again. Give yourself some peace of mind :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 07:30 AM
1

Never heard it before, but I certainly do approve of that video clip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 09:16 AM
1

Wow, that sounds though. I’m sorry it happened to you. What do you do to protect yourself against them in the future?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:43 AM
1

How would you guard yourself against that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:42 AM
30

When someone is keeping up the con for years, they are probably lying to themselves, too. That is the kind of thing you can’t really protect yourself against... we should always make sure that we are prepared to walk away out of a bad situation and have the funds to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:47 PM
8

I think your style is great and I cannot imagine it coming across as low maintenance. Maybe you’re just extra attractive with this style so that now MORE men (and proportionally more LVM) are coming your way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:37 PM
29

Agreed. This man is ill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:33 AM
6

Does that mean it is shady if I have pictures of me and/or my ex around? It feels like white washing years of my life if I were to throw out everything that has a connection to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 06:41 AM
35

It would actually be impressive if someone would maintain acting like an absolute HVM, paying for stuff, helping you, make your life better and after a year: “ha! I just used you for sex!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 07:41 AM
12

Also wondering about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 07:21 AM
2

Your advice is probably applicable to other areas of life too. Now that I think about it I have had regrets of rushing things. 🙁 no more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:55 PM
7

I needed to read this. Anything good will wait for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 04:27 PM
22

I believe FDS can become a big movement that will improve the lives of women and men alike. The time is right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:55 PM
6

Absolutely loved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:28 AM
31

‘Hotsexual’. I like that word. Amen, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:39 AM
5

From someone like him, “Uptight” is in fact a compliment. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:10 PM
4

Same for me. It makes me wonder if there even is a man that can actually make our lives better, because I do somewhat miss the intimacy. He will probably have to be fucking spectacular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:57 AM
7

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 02:44 PM
43

Well this may be an unpopular opinion but THANK GOD. Halleluja. Men should be peacocking. That’s what they do in the animal kingdom too. Come on, make yourself pretty for us! I am sooo tired of seeing grown ass men in jeans, sneakers, t-shirts and hoodies. But of course, thank you for the warning OP. I will make sure to VET VET VET these men too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:22 AM
19

Anything negative or self-deprecating in his profile, even if it’s in a joke. Because I automatically assume it’s true and that he has issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:13 AM
5

Ah, Esther Perel. I have heard her talk before on this topic. Basically she says that the things we expect from a partner these days (emotional support, being a friend, being a lover, sharing household duties, raising a child, etc.) were, a long time ago, shared by a whole village. And that this is why many relationships go awry - you cannot expect one person to do all these things and then still have a deeply satisfying sexual relationship, just to name one frequently recurring theme in her wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 08:02 AM
3

Is it in your posture? Your face? The way you dress?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:16 AM
67

My aesthetician is naturally FDS. This movement will only grow, and as a beneficial side effect aid men in their growth too. 😎 The future is now, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:39 PM
10

The only “wall” there is, is decreased fertility after 35. But it’s the same for men - so this is a level playing field, in which the people who look after themselves have an advantage. Usually, these people are women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:37 AM
17

Well that was a scary read. All the more reason to employ FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 03:29 PM
102

Have my upvote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 03:26 PM
6

A) I’m broke B) I’m not very interested in you C) All of the above
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:44 PM
16

Thanks! on behalf of all anxiety sufferers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 08:56 PM
38

Replace boyfriends with husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 07:41 AM
22

Oooof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 07:31 PM
3

May the best man win. I love this motto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:11 PM
6

Not All Men Are Like That. I think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 06:32 PM
12

Mood for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 02:20 PM
8

😍😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:20 AM
45

My heart breaks for her. I hope she leaves his lying ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 07:09 PM
15

My bad, I just meant near you (your town/city) rather than at your actual house. I definitely do not recommend giving your address to strangers! 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:00 PM
41

Have you read the handbook? It covers this subject. You do not travel to see a man. He comes to you or you don’t see him at all. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:05 AM
17

An ex did that correcting thing too. It wasn’t even that harsh - I thought at the time, but it set the tone for the rest of the relationship. I always felt less than, and am so happy to be away from him. Protect yourself sis! Don’t let him do this to you! Get out while you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:56 AM
12

I came to the same conclusion. Perhaps the difference between FDS and a ”game show” is not so big in this regard... the differences are probably found in mutual respect and a mutual willingness to build something together. The author gives some insight in the last paragraph: “Strategies that seek negotiated mutuality attract people who want to build a relationship that works while discouraging narcissists.” He advises raising a little conflict and to see how the other handles it. Normal healthy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 10:27 AM
67

Cruella speaking the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:16 AM
14

Agreed. OLD gets very bad rep here but it’s pretty hard to meet new people after college. So what happens is all men, of high and low value, flock to OLD. Everyone you meet IRL who is looking for a relationship is on OLD too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:24 AM
23

Admission is the first step! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:01 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:45 AM
5

What is it about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 09:02 PM
13

Oooh. That one goes on my wish list. We’re really on to something here with FDS! Hence the Washington Post article.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 09:01 PM
12

I was literally laughing out loud reading that grape anecdote. Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 08:58 PM
9

Hmm the discussion here reminds me of a family member who I think is a psychopath. He normally has a somewhat moody demeanor but he can be very charming and funny if he wants to. He’s a smooth talker and capable of making grand (romantic) gestures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 08:32 PM
8

It’s exactly the same for me. Sad high five. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 08:24 AM
10

I miss my cat more than I miss my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 09:23 AM
2

Whhhhyyyy always at the last minute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 08:17 AM
7

Hear, hear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:41 PM
14

Now I must say that sounds like real dedication. Good for you sis, you’ve earned it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:32 PM
1

Zero Gravity by Kate Miller Heidke. Great lyrics about cutting loose dead weight from your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 08:46 AM
1

Oh my god Alexandra was so incredibly sexy in her masculine role. I had a girl-crush and at the same time she is definitely #goals for me omggg Anyone else feel the same?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:03 PM
2

Watching it now 🤯🤯🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:52 AM
39

In my pick-me days I even asked my ex what he thought (a 7). 😅 crrringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:35 PM
42

Interesting... I’m always afraid displaying power would be considered un-feminine and unattractive, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:46 PM
22

Aww I feel for you :( how horrible! You are very, very strong and you did the right thing. You will get through this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:46 AM
2

😭 whyyyy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:38 AM
16

It’s funny because it’s true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:21 AM
19

Maybe this is too dark triad or something IDK, but: take a lover 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:42 AM
4

This is a very normal question for adults to ask strangers. Just avoid talking about where you exactly work and when (to avoid potential stalkers) or how much money you make (because obvious taboo in most countries).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:39 AM
7

I don’t think you need to share deep knowledge about yourself on a first date. It’s a first date! When I overshare (which I tend to do) with someone I don’t know well I always feel uncomfortable afterwards. Who knows what they do or think of the information. Don’t make yourself vulnerable so quickly. It also lessens the mystery around you. Tips for fun and light conversation topics are welcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:34 AM
24

Women take mens feelings seriously. Thus women are nobody. 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 02:17 PM
37

LAT relations are sort of #goals for me. It is sooo nice to have my own place. I have lived together with 3 men, all very different (one was super messy, the other was way cleaner than I was etc.) and I don’t think I ever want to share my house again, lol. Might be tricky with children though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 08:16 PM
2

Well I did it two times. Saves me from a third 😅 But damn this hits home. Great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:17 PM
4

Anything less than an enthusiastic “yes!” is a “no” in my book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:14 PM
3

Does he need to feel that same physical attraction, too? How do I know it’s there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:38 AM
3

Oh my god! I love this! What a great idea! I’m going to save your comment and think about how I can apply this tactic to various areas of life, hehehe. Stay woke sis you’re a genius 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 08:55 AM
9

That’s rough. Have a hug. I hope you’ll find someone who is worthy of you. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:36 AM
6

Hey I have this too. One example: I crushed like crazy for years on a guy in high school. When I finally asked him out and he rejected me, I got over it in a week. 🧐 How does this work???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:39 PM
2

Yes, I was in a somewhat similar situation, and it took me years to understand my gut feeling was right. It was good of you to post it here. I wish you the best of luck and strength for your decision. I hope you choose you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 07:29 AM
3

Would you maybe like to share some of your experiences? Lately casual sex / fwb has been discouraged here a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:36 PM
8

I’m sorry dear but money does not make a man high value! Not giving you orgasms makes him low value, and the fact that he hasn’t put a ring on your finger after 5 years while you are both late twenties means he will never do this. He is waiting for someone “better” (this is subjective) to come along. Love yourself and get out before you let him waste more of your precious time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:00 PM
7

You are not alone sis. I’m comfortable in my own skin, I can flirt and I can be playful... but not if I actually have a crush on the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:51 PM
10

The book is by Amy Webb, and she has a Ted talk on the subject: TED talk on youtube Highly recommended!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:57 AM
9

Agreed! Somehow, even knowing that women are better of single than married - thanks to research, marrying a HVM still seems to be the major goal for over 95% of women here. Personally, I’m in my thirties and I have been in LTRs for all of my adult life until recently and I just can’t do it anymore! Maybe I will change my mind when I’ve been alone for long enough but until then I’m much more in my element, single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:01 AM
15

Don’t get me wrong, I love cats 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 06:37 PM
41

These kind of cake toppers always made me cringe. Thanks to FDS I know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:49 AM
81

Awww. It’s so beautiful how animals can just love unconditionally! I think even cats are better at this than most men. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:47 AM
4

Reading all of your posts makes me wonder... how about male escorts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 09:07 AM
9

Spa day plus enormous bouquet of roses here. 💐💐💐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 06:41 PM
4

Therapy, therapy, therapy. A (female of course) therapist helped me through traumatic sexual experiences with EMDR therapy and my BDSM kink disappeared over the course of a few weeks. I didn’t even have to tell her all that much about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 08:51 AM
33

Men think like this because apparently they themselves can not fathom being nice to someone ‘un-bangable’. So if you’re nice to them, you’re definitely DTF!! This was from a study posted here in FDS a week ago or so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 09:29 AM
2

Which picture is before and which is after? I don’t see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 08:05 AM
43

YOUR NAKED BODY IS ONLY TO BE ADMIRED IN PERSON.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:24 PM
2

That’s really depressing (no pun intended.) Does that mean you might as well stay just on the pill if you’ve already taken it for years and years?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 07:59 AM
34

My phone does this regularly! Now I know why! It’s a LVM 😂 You had me literally laughing out loud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:57 PM
5

No. He is disposable to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:40 AM
4

Wow. I never really knew wat emotionally unavailable meant in practice... but this hits home. I knew and know men who go through life like this. There is no passion. It makes me feel depressed just reading about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:23 AM
25

Indeed. OP, If none of the dread works, and you’re unhappy, he’s not right for you. Work on yourself then - that is being a HVW 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:12 AM
148

Talking about life goals, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:02 AM
5

Aww. Have a digital hug! Next time you will be more prepared for something like this to happen, you will grow and it will hurt less! ☺️ Take some time to for yourself. You’ve done great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:59 AM
7

So... is (regular) masturbation bad for women, too? Does anyone know anything about this topic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 08:11 AM
6

They could stand up straight. Many men have terrible posture and it makes them look worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:17 AM
9

Slightly off topic but... penguins give pretty rocks? That’s adorable! On the other hand, I’m pretty sure most women like certain pretty rocks as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:15 AM
6

Me too 😍 being hot AF is only the first in a looong list of requirements for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:14 AM
3

Well I like the way my bust looks when I wear them. Although I do sometimes wonder if I should wear normal ones in order not to ‘mislead’ the men I’m dating. Wait.... Screw that, doing what I want in 2020. 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:11 AM
14

Thanks for your reply
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 09:06 PM
5

I would like the name of the app too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 09:03 PM
16

How do you do this and not have him ask for your last name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:48 PM
5

Looking hot AF is the first on my list of qualities I’m looking for in a man because it’s the easiest one to check!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 01:11 PM
5

Hahaha love the GIF!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:14 PM
3

Have you managed to build this attraction with men over time? This never worked for me and while affection grew, the relationships always end in dead bedroom. I kind of decided recently to only go out with men who I am instantaneously attracted to!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 08:20 AM
1

This is so relatable! “I said 'something is missing and I don't know what it is, but it's not right'. It was ME. I was missing me. I didn't know who I was,” Time to fall in love with ourselves instead of men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 08:01 AM
12

Well, I had the same feeling with my ex: a lot of things were great in our relationship and I was afraid that if I left him, I would never find such a good guy again. Nevertheless, the doubt only got worse and I broke up with him after a couple of years. And well... I should have broken up with him sooner. I feel so much better and happier now! Currently I’m not looking to be in a relationship again. If it happens, it happens. I still think my ex is a pretty decent guy, just not the one for me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:12 PM
3

So for the first part of your post.... are you me? 😂 I don’t want any new LTR either, and am ready to have some fun too! Although I’m so unused to flirting that when I see a man interested in me (and I in him), I chicken out and flee the scene. 😱 Anyway, best of luck to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:07 AM
11

Mine surprisingly enough didn’t! I’m still on my guard though. Maybe they’re just super super low effort, or intimidated. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:54 AM
2

Wild, free and high value! Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 04:13 PM
4

Oh no! Maybe ask for a second opinion from another doctor on the allergy treatment? Whatever you do, don’t compromise on your dreams! The best of luck to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 08:59 AM
11

It might look like it, but he is not right for you. If you do manage to wrangle him into a marriage, there is a good chance he’ll divorce you after a few years because with his career and experience he will want a shiny new woman. It will be hard, but leave him. You will be happier for it, I promise you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 12:41 PM
3

I’m in a similar position and I’ve been wondering about this too. Would it attract fuckboys and chase away HVM if I don’t want a LTR? Good to know I’m not the only one looking for romance and fun times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 08:42 AM
10

Well, attraction /is/ important! So “balding” and “no butterflies” could be very legitimate reasons to dump a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 08:13 AM
1

Years. Was in a mediocre LTR.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 08:18 AM
3

Does anyone know how to protect your LinkedIn from these men? I would’t give out my last name on OLD, but it’s there on LI with my education and everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 07:54 AM
34

I would ignore it and if he asks why, say you don't like connecting with people you don't know in real life. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:29 PM
9

And then there is illness, too. Not saying a relationship is the only way to counter this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:12 AM
2

Thank you for your answer. I am considering this myself, although I do not have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:10 AM
6

Ooooh. How does it work for you? You don’t feel like swearing off men forever this way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:09 PM
9

What a great idea! I think this will help me a lot because usually I don’t know of any good things to say back until after the conversation...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:27 AM
11

This, TO! There was a thread on this before. The man (supposedly a hvm too) often retreated to his ‘man cave’ and she felt lonely. Complaints and discussions didn’t help. What did help, was her going out as soon as he went into his cave. She went to see her girl friends, did sports, etc. you can thing of something. Lo and behold as soon as she wasn’t waiting for him anymore, he went looking for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 08:27 AM
12

I think he waited too long to propose. She could have walked out on him in the meantime. I’m not impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 08:31 AM
3

Yes please, this calls for story time! 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:03 AM
13

Great flowchart! Thanks for sharing. Is he a crush - yes Have you kissed - no Have you even spoken to each other? - yes Don’t do it! Well I don’t have his number anyway but GODS this crush is so inconvenient!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 08:02 PM
5

Uhuh. Although I would not like to presume it is easy being a lesbian. But sometimes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 08:00 PM
20

A man who makes you pay is by definition low value. I’d suggest you forget this man, block him, and try to date some other men who do offer dinner dates and pay (if not: pay for yourself and next him). You are the prize so maintain your boundaries. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:23 PM
23

I used to be into it and tried some with a former bf... but my sub preference definitely stemmed from sexual trauma. My last bf encouraged me to seek help from a therapist and I did - it changed me. I could enjoy vanilla sex again and actually got mad when said ex smacked my ass during sex one time. BDSM-people usually don’t want to hear that their kink stems from psychological damage, but I am now convinced it does. In most cases, anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:19 PM
8

I must say I do wonder why a lot of the 'fuckboys' and other LVM are not capable of typing out even one normal sentence. And why do women even exchange messages with these types? Or are their OLD profiles the epitome of eloquence??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 07:19 PM
1

Even when my ex and I were sharing household and groceries cost, and we decided together that we were going to have fresh flowers in the house more often, he NEVER bought them but always bitched about it being expensive. I'll just get them for myself now thanks. Worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 07:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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