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HotModerate11 Archive

View 0 posts and 42 comments by HotModerate11 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

When I was more social in my early 20s going out didn’t feel like a chore or something I had to take like medicine. I don’t think you should pretend to like something you don’t just to try and meet someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 01:37 PM
1

I avoid drama too
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:20 PM
3

Well then our paths are unlikely to cross! Keep up that clean social life :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:10 PM
6

Sorry I don't conform to your idea of normal. Maintaining friendships like that is just too messy for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:08 PM
1

That is your husband. I am talking about someone you are just getting to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:01 PM
4

How would you feel if your new boyfriend maintained a close friendship with someone who had rejected him?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:53 PM
7

Maintaining a friendship with someone who rejected you could make life a lot more difficult for someone looking for a relationship No one is going to be psyched when they find out their new partner is close friends with someone they used to have feelings for.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:22 PM
4

In most cases, taking ownership of his feelings would mean stepping back from the friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 02:57 PM
3

That is the way to go. Trying to salvage the friendship is usually not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 02:44 PM
5

Exactly. Lucky people have a few core friends who stay with them throughout different eras of their life. Most other friends are just based on the circumstances you find yourself in. Telling yourself that all those circumstantial friends didn't value you seems seems like a self-inflicted wound. edit: None of that means the end of friendships. It usually does. Maybe not as explicitly, but it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:57 PM
6

Most of your friends aren't going to be lifelong friends. Circumstances will change; they (or you) will move away, get busy with other things, have kids etc. That doesn't mean that whatever friendship you once had was not valued. Things just changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:47 PM
4

You would generally still like them as a friend; you just accept that circumstances have changed and it’s best to move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:59 AM
4

Yeah, they are saying the friendship isn’t working for them anymore. More dramatic than most end of friendships, but it doesn’t mean that the friendship was never valued. People and circumstances can change.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:51 AM
8

Yeah, i can see why she would be upset. Losing a friend sucks. I just don’t think he is doing anything wrong necessarily, and she shouldn’t feel like he ‘never valued her’. (Unless thinking that helps, idk)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:32 AM
5

Idk, to each their own I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:28 AM
9

If someone moved away for work and didn’t call anymore would you say they never valued the friendship, or that circumstances changed? I think it is kind of mean to yourself to imagine that friends who move on never valued you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:22 AM
11

There is a more reasonable and mature version of phase 2 where you just accept that the friendship has run its course and its best to move on. Friends come and go from your life for all kinds of reasons. Unrequited feelings seem as good a reason as any.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:18 AM
3

What you want from a relationship can change. Friendships die for all sorts of reasons. Unrequited feelings are a perfectly valid reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 02:37 PM
3

I’d avoid getting involved with someone who insists on maintaining a close friendship with someone who rejected them. To each their own though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 02:30 PM
3

I maintain that most people would not be thrilled at the prospect, all due respect to your clearly well adjusted friend group.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 02:08 PM
2

You shouldn’t talk to preteens on the internet. 🤨 My point is that most people wouldn’t like the idea of their new partner maintaining a friendship with someone they had been interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 02:02 PM
4

If someone wants a romantic relationship, would you recommend maintaining a close friendship with someone who rejected you? No one is gonna to be thrilled at the prospect of their new partner maintaining a friendship with someone who they had feelings for.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 01:48 PM
3

Friends come and go from your life for all sorts of reasons. Just because circumstances change doesn’t negate whatever friendship had once existed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 12:58 PM
4

People come and go from your life. Unrequited feelings would be one of the more flattering reasons to lose a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 12:26 PM
5

Friends are going to come and go from your life for all sorts of reasons. Too busy, moved away, got sick of you etc Someone ending a friendship over unrequited romantic feelings is just about the most flattering possible reason to lose a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 01:59 PM
1

I wouldn’t give a shit about dudes who liked her hanging around. I would only care if she kept hanging around a dude who she liked and had rejected her. Not everyone can be as stunning and confident as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:42 PM
1

That can’t have been meant for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:31 PM
1

I am sorry. I am a boring conversationalist. I think we are sort of in agreement. Friendships turned one-sides crush are bad news, whatever the circumstances. Throw them in the trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:19 PM
2

I am saying that people who prefer to not maintain their friendships with those who reject them are not in the wrong and have non-petty reasons for wanting to just moving on. Sorry if that was unclear. Can you see why someone being friends with a former crush might bother someone though?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:13 PM
1

Right, but some guys might want to expand their dating prospects beyond women of your high confidence level. Close friendships with women who they have had crushes on might get in the way of that. I understand that it sucks for the women who are losing a friend, but I don’t think the guys are doing anything wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:01 PM
1

I think you can find a man who doesn’t give you reason to believe he might leave you for one of his friends, as I am sure is virtually every woman’s preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:53 PM
1

I am not sure everyone is as confident as you. I think being friends with someone who rejected you like that would be a recipe for insecurities and endless fights in most new relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:42 PM
1

It is not just that he would like to have sex with them. It is that he would leave you for her given the opportunity. No part of you would think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:25 PM
1

I think a lot of people would fear that they were the consolation prize and that if the first choice ever gave their SO a second look they’d be left in the dust. It would be a hard bug to get out of your brain. I think men would sleep with most women in their social circles if there were zero strings attached. I don’t think they would date most women in their social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:18 PM
2

I think most people would be bothered by their SO being close friends with someone that they once had feelings for, especially if they had felt the need to hide it from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:09 PM
2

It is a you problem if people rule you out on that basis. I think it would come up eventually. Would you like it if your SO hid the fact that he had a crush on his friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:46 PM
2

Remaining friends with someone who rejected you would be a layer of complication in an already notoriously tough dating scene. Who is going to be thrilled about their new boyfriend or girlfriend being close friends with someone who rejected them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:32 PM
1

That’s true. Although I suspect a clean break is probably best for all involved most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:19 PM
1

No, you misunderstand me. I think it would be weird to stay in a friendship that you found to be painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:33 PM
1

I don’t. I think it would be weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:27 PM
1

Not having painful friendships seems like a reasonable level of selfishness tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:25 PM
2

Is that not a valid reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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