TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 Archive

View 6 posts and 284 comments by Hot_Blacksmith_3404 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

So, I’m not one to recommend porn use at all (I have not watched it in years myself) but this might be a situation where it could be useful to search up porn (or just celebrities) with women with small boobs and look at all the millions of views, likes and saves it gets. Lots of men genuinely prefer smaller breasts, and even if it wouldn’t be their preference in their dream, build-a-woman scenario, smaller breasts can still be extremely sexy. Plus, lots of women with larger breasts get reduction…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 04:49 PM
116

I would seriously doubt the leadership abilities of a man who think it’s ok to use soap as lube at all, let alone try to sneakily violate you with it after you already said no. That runs dangerously close to (if not over) the line of sexual assault. You are supposed to be vetting him during the dating phase, not blindly going along with whatever he says. You haven’t yet determined whether he is trustworthy enough as a leader to be worthy of your submission - this episode is strongly indicating h…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 04:18 AM
16

Attorney here. My boyfriend loves that I’m super hardworking and badass at work, but soft and sweet at home with him. If anything, my job makes me even more feminine at home because I have an outlet for the other side of my personality at work. Above all, don’t give up your earning potential or make career sacrifices based on what you think some hypothetical future boyfriend/husband might think. Make your money, keep progressing in your career, and keep your dating life separate. There’s no reas…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 06:55 PM
3

If you want to do some reading on this the best books are The Surrendered Single, The Rules, Why Men Love Bitches, and Getting to I Do. Highly recommend taking the time to read them. The best short and sweet advice is let him come to you. Once/as he does that, be very warm and sweet. “Hard to get” doesn’t mean cold, it simply means don’t give him the impression that you will put your life on hold for him - don’t rearrange plans to see him, don’t prioritize him (early on) over family, friends, wo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 09:32 PM
79

I probably wouldn’t want a man who even knows what the word “redpill” means lol. I definitely don’t want someone who regularly consumes redpill content.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 02:15 AM
5

Do you live in LA? That is the only possible place on earth that I could imagine those three women being considered “average”. They would be 10/10 bombshells almost anywhere. You seriously walk around the grocery store, or stroll a sidewalk downtown, with most women around you looking like them? Very hard to believe.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 01:24 AM
9

Exactly this. Just look around your normal life for what is average in your area. Social media and Hollywood have majorly warped our perception of “normal” but if you look around your daily life, you’ll see the vast majority of people look nothing like what you see on tv. Even actresses that play the “ugly friend” type roles would be considered pretty by most people if they met them randomly in normal life.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 01:14 AM
7

Loyalty is a character trait and a commitment, not something that “just happens” or doesn’t happen. Find someone who demonstrates that value and integrity. Income has nothing to do with it. I strongly dislike the trope that rich men are more likely to cheat. Richer men may be less likely to make a commitment to begin with, but arguably a committed rich man would be more loyal than a committed poor man, since poor men are more likely to lie and fake a commitment in order to get laid. Separately, …
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 11:08 PM
10

You’d be better off posting in a plastic surgery sub with photos, so professionals can weigh in on whether it will actually help you achieve your aesthetic goals. Usually when people think they need more jaw definition, they actually would benefit from neck lipo or a neck lift, or chin filler/augmentation. To me, usually a filled jawline just ends up looking too masculine/too boxy. I would let a professional tell you what would help you achieve what you want. It’s true that filler will almost ce…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 08:15 PM
6

I haven’t seen that. I’m a big believer in intentionally curating your social media though, maybe don’t engage with those videos or hit “not interested” to stop seeing them. Not worth getting worked up over what a corner of the internet is doing. Life is too short!
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 03:31 PM
6

I consider myself a girls girl, my understanding of what the term means (probably varies a lot based on your social group and social media exposure) is someone who is feminine and isn’t ashamed of it (not the type of girl who thinks she’s better than other girls because she prides herself on “being one of the boys” or not wearing makeup or not being girly) and who really enjoys loving and supporting their female friends (not someone who defaults to “women are drama” or “I get along better with m…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 02:55 PM
3

I haven’t seen the show, but I’d say if characters always did the “right” thing, it would make for very poor tv. Drama comes from poor decisions lol. It’s a pretty relatable human struggle (for men and women) to immediately want to do the opposite of what you’re told, and be unable to admit when you were wrong, even if that defensiveness and stubbornness ruins a relationship. It sounds like the show is illustrating how that can be a destructive and damaging mindset, which is exactly your same po…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/25 04:15 PM
3

The thing that helps me the most is receiving graciously any and all help that is offered, and asking for help when I want it. In the workplace that can mean delegating appropriately, communicating when you would appreciate extra time to complete a project or when some additional context, information or help would make your life easier. It can also mean communicating with your friends and family or partner when you’re having an especially challenging time at work and asking for whatever support …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/25 04:36 PM
2

Depending on your great grandmothers age, she probably lived in a time where women could not have their own bank accounts, despite the vast majority of women needing to work outside of the home to support the family (contrary to popular belief, only upper middle class and upper class women could actually afford to be full time homemakers). Women could not leave an abusive marriage without proving to a judge that abuse occurred (very difficult to actually prove beyond a reasonable doubt). Husband…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/25 03:43 PM
9

I don’t know how to link things on my phone, but read the wiki post on “Submission as Strategy”. There is nothing moral or inherently “right” about submitting to your husband, what matters is do you get a better marriage because of it? Treat the RPW tips/guidelines as just that - try them on, see how you feel, see how your husband reacts, see how your marriage improves over time as you implement more and more. What I have found, and the only reason this sub exists at all, is that implementing RP…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:15 AM
6

I think this is more a chronically online hypothetical issue than anything. I’ve never in my life been asked that question by a man, and never asked it myself either. But if for some reason this actually does come up I would be honest - “I have some sexual experience but am technically a virgin.” Don’t overshare. Frankly no one wants to hear all the specific dirty details about their partner’s sexual past unless they have a weird kink for that.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/25 05:55 PM
87

The best thing I ever did for my mental health was de-center men. Ignore stuff about men on social media - change your algorithm. Block liberally anyone and anything that is negatively affecting your mental health. Distance yourself from friends who can only talk about men. Build meaningful female friends and a vibrant social life outside of dating. Go on a men cleanse. For me, I had to genuinely get to a place of knowing I ideally wanted a loving husband, but if that never happened, I would be …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 01:38 PM
–

I’d encourage you to link examples. I’ve not seen that. The mods do a fantastic job of removing comments that fall outside the scope/rules of RPW. This must be a man’s troll post.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/25 12:25 AM
31

He doesn’t owe you a “concise” reason to break up. He did not want to marry you, he did not want to have kids with you, he wanted to be single and try to find someone “better” than you. He did you a favor in breaking up instead of stringing you along for years while he knew this truth. He’s probably having a bit of a case of fuck around and find out - he realized it actually kinda sucks out there as a single person in his mid-30s that doesn’t want kids, and it will be difficult to find someone “…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 05:02 PM
4

You missed the entire point of my comment. Do you want to move to this country? Are you eligible for a work visa there? Are you qualified for the jobs you want there and will they pay enough? Are you ok having kids in a new country, away from family and friends support, and giving up your desire of staying home with them for the first year or two? If you want a career so badly, why have you taken two years off work? Why don’t you get a job now? Why are you stuck on this man that’s in a different…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/25 03:15 PM
7

If you want to have a meaningful, successful career, you can make that happen right now, on your own, while single. It’s bizarre to me to intentionally marry a poor man to be forced to work, instead of just working on your own and finding the best man for you apart from that. If you need to be put into poverty with an uneducated, poorly earning man to be forced to work, maybe you don’t want a career as much as you think you do. You can just as easily marry someone who earns enough to support a f…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/25 03:05 PM
4

Manic episode or narcissistic love bombing. No one in their right mind should be getting married after only knowing a person for less than 3 months.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 02:58 AM
2

I use Monarch now, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about YNAB. I tried to use it once for my individual budget and struggled with the learning curve (to be honest, I probably just didn’t stick with it long enough). It has such a cult following that I want to try it again.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 03:33 PM
2

Thank you for sharing, I love this approach. I think this is essentially what we’ll end up deciding to do when we talk about it again.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 03:07 PM
1

Thanks. I like the idea of a threshold $$ amount over which we discuss any purchase together, it sounds like a few of the ladies here have a similar system in place that works well for them. He had actually brought that up too.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 01:33 PM
1

We’re not worried about our incomes. We’re trying to figure out the best way of managing our finances together as a married couple.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 01:31 PM
2

Yes, in our minds it would all be marital property but for convenience the currently separate bills/income would stay tied to the current-existing accounts. For example his mortgage currently pays out of his separate account, he would just keep that same setup instead of switching it to come out of a joint account. Technically, in my state, assets and debt that you acquired before marriage stay separate unless you essentially gift them to the marriage (like change the deed of the home). We will …
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 05:03 PM
4

This sounds like the best of both worlds to me. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 04:55 PM
11

Losing weight will not fix your mental health issues. Sure, lose weight, but also add in one therapy session a week plus one additional thing for your mental health every week. Maybe a yin yoga class, or reading a book aimed at raising your self esteem or addressing whatever the root of your mental health issues are (maybe some past trauma)? You need stability, and a simple, easy to achieve routine that will support your mental health. If your only goal is dramatic weight loss, your mental healt…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/25 04:27 PM
3

Of course you don’t see him as the best option, because you don’t know him yet. He’s still a stranger. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with dating him exclusively while you figure out if he’s someone you would want to be with long term. Either way is fine🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWives22/01/25 03:58 PM
4

Slow down. 10 dates in 3 weeks is insanely fast. Sleeping together in 3 weeks is insanely fast. Committing to someone in 3 weeks is insanely fast. The red flags are really, really red here. Not to mention he is already having unrealistic expectations of controlling who you talk to after 3 weeks and says he doesn’t trust you. I would strongly, strongly encourage you to go through a nun mode, read through the wiki and “Basics” posts, particularly about vetting, and don’t start dating again until y…
/r/RedPillWives22/01/25 03:19 PM
30

You commented elsewhere that he kicked his dog. The dog that is more important than you. Think that through for a sec. This man is beyond worthless to where he is actively going to make your life worse, not better. Let the stress of dealing with this asshole go. Worst case, single has got to be better than him. Edit: I would encourage you to edit your post to add the cons of he physically abuses his dog, he follows onlyfans models, he has called you worthless (also from your prior comments). Rea…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 10:08 PM
55

It is against this sub’s rules to jump straight to “dump him”, so I will encourage you instead to read this post back to yourself and imagine that your best friend or sister wrote it about her boyfriend. How would you feel? What would you think? Does this sound like husband material to you? Other than that, a few of your pros are actually cons. $200k liquid cash? He is stupid with money. There is no reason to have that much cash lying around not earning interest. The fact that he bought you runn…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 10:02 PM
32

Do you want to have children? If yes, do you want to be the primary caregiving? If yes, would you want to be the primary caregiver AND the primary breadwinner? You need to think all of this through - there are NO wrong answers, it’s all personal choice, but if you know you want to start a family, and don’t want to bear the burden of being the breadwinner and primary caregiver in one, then just by common sense you need to find someone to take on the role you don’t want. “Emotionally providing” or…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 03:47 AM
30

What does “paying for everything” mean? Is he paying your bills? Or is he just referring to dates and the occasional gift?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/25 06:56 AM
1

At 28, unless you suddenly gained a huge amount of weight and/or went through a ton of traumatic stress and lack of sleep for years on end, there is 0 chance that your appearance has dramatically changed for the worse from your early 20s. At 30 I am significantly hotter than I ever was in my 20s, because I take care of myself better than ever before. You may want to revisit the posts here on “the wall” (if you search by top posts of all time there is a fantastic post on the wall/maintaining beau…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/25 06:37 PM
2

I am so proud of you. Keep taking care of yourself💜
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/25 04:33 PM
–

I have a friend where I change the subject if her relationship problems come up. I burnt myself out trying to support her and be there for her - after awhile of hearing the same stuff over and over and over, I don’t have the emotional energy to listen to the same problems anymore if you’re not even going to try to do anything differently. Not to mention the physical energy after moving her out of his home twice with a few hours notice and then back in days later, when nothing has changed. The nu…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 11:11 PM
6

What have you tried or been doing differently since your last post?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 08:06 PM
7

I thought her post sounded familiar. It would be nice if repeat posters would explain what they changed/what advice they implemented since their last post.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 07:23 PM
7

All you can do here is honestly and vulnerably express your desires, and see if he is receptive to them. It may be that his desires are far too different from yours, and a compromise or meeting in the middle isn’t possible, but you won’t know until you clearly make them known. “Sweetheart, I respect and admire how frugal you are and how good you are with finances. I also know that when I think about my future, I want to be with a husband who would be ok with providing more than 50% of our living…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 06:33 PM
1

This is so true, social media has really made all the horror stories more accessible. It’s probably one of those things where I’ll never be able to fully ease my anxiety but just have to do my best to mitigate the risks.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 03:45 PM
3

Did you mean to reply to me? If you’re speaking hypothetically, you shouldn’t be completely dependent on a man. Have your own income, if you decide to be a stay at home mom, have emergency savings, have a pre/post-nup that you’re comfortable with, make sure he’s on board with continuing to contribute to your retirement accounts, keep up your professional certifications and continuing education so you could go back to work, etc. Above all else, make sure you choose a man with good character and i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:14 AM
25

This should be its own pinned post to the top of the sub. There are far too many women trying to lock down or change a man who is a bad pick from the start.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 08:16 PM
2

“High value men” have sexual discipline, character and morals. My boyfriend waited 2-3 months and said it was one of the things that made him respect me so much. He said if a girl would try to slept with him early on he would assume she did that with everyone, and would get turned off. He had no interest in sleeping around or being with someone who was sleeping around (and same for me).
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 06:36 PM
3

Thank you for sharing. Can you not take a week or even just a weekend off? Go on a girls trip or something to decompress, and let your husband/extended family watch the baby?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 03:52 PM
1

You’ve only had one great date. You should NOT be trying to get him to commit yet. That would be such a red flag - he doesn’t even know you yet. You don’t even know him yet. You don’t know if you want to commit to him yet, or if you want him to commit to you. He is still a stranger at this point. Keep going on dates as long as he continues to seem great, if by month 3 things haven’t progressed to commitment but everything is great and you want to establish a relationship with him, then consider …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 02:53 PM
4

Wow, this resonated with me really deeply. Thank you for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 03:17 AM
14

Sure, you’ll get fewer looks from strangers on the street, or be hit on less by strangers in a bar, but I see that as a blessing. Women can remain beautiful and elegant while aging their entire life. Sure you lose some of the immediate raw sex appeal to random strangers, but once you add in things like the increased social skills and charisma that only come with time and intentionality, increased relationship skills, more money to dress better and take care of yourself better overall, and perhap…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 06:00 PM
6

Make sure you are addressing any past trauma. Therapy (try various kinds to see what works for you, talk therapy isn’t usually as effective as something like emdr), medication if needed, a mindfulness practice, etc. Practice your social skills with everyone, not just men you are interested in dating. Chat with everyone, man or woman young or old - waiting in line, on the elevator, at appointments, etc. also build your female social circle. Become a regular in a couple places. Community picklebal…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/25 02:04 PM
1

For me personally, Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand was the first book of hers that I read and it had a huge impact on me. I didn’t realize that I had been self sabotaging myself out of a lot of good in my life. Empowered Wife is a close second.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/24 02:38 PM
10

Remember what people told you last time and ask them about it. How was your vacation to X? How is your home project going? Etc. Have some go to questions in your back pocket for when there’s a lull. How is work going? How was your Christmas, did you go anywhere or stay home? Are you a new year resolution person, do you have any goals you’re excited about? How did you meet your spouse? Etc. Listen actively. Listen to listen, don’t worry about what you’re going to say next just listen to what they…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 05:18 PM
40

Find a guy that doesn’t watch porn. Yes they’re the minority, but they do exist. I would rather be single than with a pornsick man.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 05:42 AM
13

Read Laura Doyle’s books. Other than that, my advice to you is you can’t control him into being what you want, but you CAN control yourself into being what you want. Be who you want to be. If you don’t want to always initiate intimacy, then don’t. Regardless of whether he initiates or not. If you will never have sex without you initiating, then that’s good information to have. If you need to rest, rest. Regardless of what he’s doing or not doing. I promise your relationship is not preventing you…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 07:35 PM
12

A decent guy who is between jobs would not be trying to date someone new, and certainly wouldn’t ask a new date he just recently met for money to help pay his rent. He sounds like an absolute loser tbh. If you really want to, you can hang back and see if he actually pays you back and then starts pursuing you romantically, but I certainly wouldn’t expect it. He should be focused on his career and finances right now, not taking you on dates. I would keep looking if I were you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 07:17 PM
21

I think your apology is too much. In my mind you have nothing to apologize for. He dropped a bomb on you 3 months in then refused to expand on it or explain what happened. If anything he owes you an apology. Regardless of who apologies to whom or how you get through this, this guy is not even close to ready for a relationship. Also, stop using the expression “HVM”. You don’t know that he is, you should still be vetting him, and this incident shows he lacks the transparency, emotional maturity, e…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 01:23 AM
4

Sure, gifts and dates and vacations can run the spectrum of price points depending on the guy’s income, but the principle is the same that they should be doing these things if they care about you. Just proportional to their income.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 09:24 PM
10

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a man who didn’t treat me like a queen. I also treat my man like a king, so it’s only fair. My man regularly buys me flowers, opens doors, plans dates, buys thoughtful gifts, tries to make my life easier, etc. To me, without those things, what’s the point? I’d rather be single than with a man who didn’t treat me like this.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 09:20 PM
1

The audiobook is free on Spotify
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 05:56 PM
45

You absolutely did the right thing. Props to you for staying so calm and getting out of there smoothly. I might have seen red and gotten violent. That is so beyond unacceptable it would be the last time he ever saw his granddaughter if it were me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 05:31 AM
2

When you open the front page of the App Store, the app being advertised looks different than the search results page. Open your App Store app and look at the front page and the size/shape of the ad that shows up. Then search hinge and see what the size/shape/appearance of that search result is. From your post I would assume it was just advertised!
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 12:14 AM
9

This is something you need to work through in therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/24 08:54 PM
12

Conversations about “where this is going” after date 3 are worthless at best and self sabotage at worst. Learn to sit with your discomfort. You will learn where this is going as his actions show you over time. He could tell you he wants to marry you, and then immediately ghost you. He could tell you he’s looking for a serious relationship and thinks it’s with you, then realize as he gets to know you more (it’s only been 3 dates after all), that he actually isn’t compatible with you. He could tel…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/24 02:20 AM
2

Luckily I found all 3 in my man😊 sure no one’s perfect and don’t have impossible standards etc, but honestly, having all 3 that you listed should be the basic requirements for the man you choose to be with.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 03:51 AM
8

It’s his job to be providing if he wants to be with you. Allow him to treat you and receive with grace. Just be thankful.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 03:58 PM
22

You need to cut way back on how much you’re seeing him. Keep it to 2 dates a week max (sleepover’s fine but leave the next day). Fill your life with other interesting things - you are single until you’re married, and even once married, you need to maintain your own life. Why aren’t you working? Are you in school full time? Your biggest concern right now should be finding a good job, if it’s not studying. Editing to add: Also, he should be driving to you to pick you up and take you out on dates w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 02:40 AM
16

At home: Day dresses instead of sweats look more elevated but can be just as comfy! Or leggings + a fitted top/jacket (like the lululemon align jacket) instead of an oversized hoodie and baggy sweats. Silky slips to bed instead of frumpy pjs. 2 min light makeup look - tinted sunscreen, concealer, eyebrows, lip tint. Going out: it’s good to balance sexy and modest in the same look, never just one or the other. For example, fitted v-neck dress that’s midi length. Thigh high slit/shorter skirt but …
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/24 11:30 PM
18

I think it’s mostly just that the decent women are so turned off by the realization that the vast majority of men just want to use them for sex, or they have one too many dangerous or icky situations from OLD, and decide it’s simply not worth it, leaving behind mostly the women who are fine with the casual sex and/or are using men the same way the men are trying to use the women.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 08:12 PM
12

I’m super introverted too, I think the key is to become a regular somewhere so you can slowly/casually break the ice with someone after seeing them a few times. Before my current relationship I got a few dates out of going to weekly dance classes, and never felt like I had to put myself out there it just happened by organically chit chatting during/after class. Now my boyfriend and I go together and have made some couple friends from seeing the same people there week after week. Mixed doubles te…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 07:23 PM
12

Mostly trying to make connections in real life - from doing adult community sports teams, work conferences, dance classes, the gym, classier bars. They’ve gone on dates with great men that aren’t on dating apps, so they never would have met them otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 07:10 PM
53

A large part of it is that most of the “good” or more traditional women are sick of men trying to use them for free sex on dating apps and have stopped trying to date online. The women that are left are most likely the ones who enjoy hookups (since that matches what most men are looking for on there). I hope things work out in my current relationship, but if not, I will never get on a dating app again. Too many predatory, loser men. Most of my single friends feel the same way and have deleted th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 06:41 PM
5

I’m a woman and my pecs will involuntarily flex sometimes😭 it makes me super self conscious. I wouldn’t assume it’s intentional unless he’s intentionally flexing /showing off his body in other ways.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 08:17 PM
8

Gotcha, that’s to be expected. That’s a simple compatibility issue. Some men want to feel like the man and pay/provide 90-100%, some want to go 50/50 (which usually only means 50/50 financially but you’ll still be stuck with the bulk of household tasks lol but I digress), some want a different mix. For every guy that says they want the woman to pay, there’s a guy that’s upset that feminists won’t allow them to pay or feel like a real man anymore. For every girl that’s confused or offended as to …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 03:11 AM
3

Men have told you that they don’t feel appreciated? Have you asked what makes them feel that way?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:43 AM
6

Eye contact, maybe a hand hold/squeeze and a sincere “thank you for a wonderful dinner” (or whatever you’re thanking them for) is all you need to make them feel appreciated! I find men would much rather do something for you and be appreciated for it, then not do something/not be allowed to do something and therefore not even have the opportunity to be appreciated for it. Men want to be your hero, so let them be (and thank them for it)!
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:28 AM
20

I always let him pay, and am always very appreciative. I enjoy being treated like a lady, and wouldn’t be attracted to someone who expected me to pay or split the bill. I cook and bake for him about as often as we go out, which he very much appreciates.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 01:18 AM
15

Mostly a bunch of angry loser men who want to feel better about themselves by hating women, but I try to avoid it so maybe there are some decent resources that have popped up more recently that I’m unaware of🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/24 06:06 PM
6

Honestly, a lot of it was accidental - I had a two year “nun mode” type period of time where I intentionally worked on my mental health, and I accidentally started glowing up physically as a happy side effect. This could be a novel length comment but the way oversimplified list of stuff I attribute it to is: - switching to a lower stress job - finding a workout I enjoy and want to do every day, instead of forcing myself to do what’s technically the “best” and hating it - finding more of an ease …
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 01:17 AM
37

Do “mom” activities/groups during business hours, so you’re most likely going to run into other stay at home moms. Pilates class, knitting group, book club, church group, mom groups etc. I wouldn’t put redpill in your bff profile because there may be lots of likeminded women who just have no clue what that means and go to google it and find all the toxic male rp crap and think that’s what you mean. Just put “hoping to find other traditional homemakers/stay at home moms” and describe the activiti…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 07:38 PM
17

I’m by far the hottest I’ve ever been at 31 - started having a major glow-up in my late 20s that keeps getting better every year. Also helps that I’m way more confident in every way, have better friends, better life skills, better relationship skills, making more money, etc. I still get carded regularly. I’ve been lectured by random older ladies, while out with men my own age, that I shouldn’t be dating older men🤣 I truly can’t wait to see what’s in store for the rest of my 30s and beyond. Life …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 05:52 PM
2

Consent for sexual activity must be clear and enthusiastic - you being frozen did NOT give him consent to escalate. I’m sorry this happened, and I hope in the future you can prepare to be assertive about standing up for yourself when you don’t want something. It’s really difficult to learn, especially as a woman when we are often predisposed and socially pressured into being people pleasers. It took me well into adulthood to learn. So don’t be hard on yourself as you learn to exercise the muscle…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 05:26 PM
1

Well, regardless of individual women’s motives, the effect is the same. Men having to add value to a woman’s life in order to sleep with her is a good thing.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 03:05 PM
8

This is disgusting victim blaming. People talk about fight or flight but there are two others that get left out of the conversation frequently - freeze or fawn (appeasing). It is the most common evolutionary response to freeze in dangerous or stressful situations. Combine the instinct to freeze with the fact that we are talking about a CHILD who was just lectured in church about letting men lead in all situations, and you get lots of situations like this. OP, this is not your fault. In the futur…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:23 PM
2

Why do you have to do everything together? If you don’t want to leave but he does, why can’t he go do his own thing and you stay and do your own thing? If he wants to eat something that you don’t want to, why do you both have to eat the same thing? Get what he wants for him and what you want for you. You both seem to suck at compromise and on doing your own thing. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Your happiness shouldn’t depend on what your husband does or doesn’t do.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 05:48 PM
6

Why not move into a dorm on campus? Or rent a room in a house with friends? I agree that it sounds like you should move out of your mom’s asap. But I would not recommend moving in with someone you’ve only been officially dating for barely 2 months. Slow it down, no need to be spending this much time (and money!) ubering to see him every single day. Make sure you’re still studying, keeping your grades up, getting self care time, and maintaining friendships. Keep your own separate life, even while…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 02:51 AM
5

Generally, if they tell you about it up front, you don’t have to worry about it. If he was trying to sneak around and sleep with prostitutes, he wouldn’t have mentioned it at all but would have tried to be sneaky about it and keep it a secret. Assuming you trust him (which, you shouldn’t be with someone who isn’t trustworthy) this shouldn’t be a concern. My boyfriend will occasionally tell me when a woman was hitting on him and I’ll be like “well can you blame her??” Or “she has great taste!” Be…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 08:29 PM
123

I think it’s great that feminism as a movement is waking up to the fact that there’s nothing empowering or beneficial about casual sex.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:29 PM
12

You are likely to be perceived as having less value by your boyfriend, because he gets to have his cake and eat it too without any consequences. Perceived value is everything, and you are making yourself appear cheaper and easier by doing this. If you invite disrespect in one area, it’s really hard to then convince the person to respect you in other ways. It can be a slippery slope. That being said, non-monogamy is certainly a valid relationship choice that some people make, even if I personally…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 10:41 PM
6

As a liberal that often gets assumptions that I’m politically conservative, it’s the blonde hair, always looking put together/always wear makeup, generally dressing super feminine (almost always girly dresses, especially midi or more modest but still cute/girly dresses), having traditionally feminine hobbies like cooking/baking, and respecting traditional gender roles like vocalizing appreciation and admiration for sahms, appreciating chivalry in little daily moments (appreciating men opening do…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 03:27 PM
22

To me it should be only as long as it takes to plan the wedding you want. If you want a big wedding at an highly in-demand venue, it might take 2-3 years to be able to have the wedding you want. If you want to elope or have a simple backyard-type wedding, the engagement will probably be less than a year.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/24 05:33 PM
1

I’m glad you’re so happy but please please please, continue to vet over time and guard your heart until he proves his commitment to you over time. There are lots of red flags here, which doesn’t mean that things can’t work, but it means be cautiously optimistic and ensure you won’t be devastated if he ghosts you again. I once gave a ghoster a second chance after he begged for it, he love bombed me and I was over the moon for a few months, until he ghosted me again completely out of the blue, aft…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/24 05:23 PM
4

Don’t even try to “break through” those moments. Let him have his space to process his big emotions on his own. Busy yourself with your own thoughts and your own life, let him know you’re happy to talk about whatever’s bothering him if he wants to, if he says no, give him a kiss and say ok I’m going to go do xyz. And then drop it and leave him alone!!
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 01:01 PM
3

Why are you spamming this clip across a million subreddits…? Weird way to promote your tiktok account.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 03:17 AM
1

Great progress! Congrats on sticking to your goals, lots of people don’t!! I would stick to nun mode through college. Stay focused on your grades and career, and building meaningful friendships. You don’t need the dating distraction right now especially if it would be long distance while you’re abroad. Life will probably change pretty significantly as you graduate, start working, and figure out where you want to live long term. You’re unlikely to find someone who completely aligns with you on al…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 02:04 PM
32

Have you tried dbt therapy? It’s very different from talk therapy and is very helpful for people with borderline personality disorder and similar emotional regulation issues to learn how to self-soothe and manage their emotional swings. You also should talk to a psychiatrist about a mood stabilizer - ssris can make bipolar and similar disorders worse. I’m not diagnosing you but just saying, you really need a professionals help to get to the bottom of this.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 06:23 PM
–

Agree with everything Jenneapolis said, keep it brief, polite, direct. He actually already broke up with you, he’s just trying to keep you as a back up in the future in case he can’t find better.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 01:48 AM
3

Ask her about herself. If your boyfriend has told you anything about her that is particularly memorable (she cooks the best xyz, she has the best singing voice, etc) you can bring that up and be like boyfriend told me you are AMAZING at xyz how did you learn that?? (Or something similar, just ask a question in a way that hypes her up or acts super interested in her). Ask her about what your boyfriend was like when he was younger, what her favorite stories are about him as a kid. Generally say ni…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 03:51 PM
11

How old are you? Even if it’s just “streaks” why do you need to maintain a daily connection with lots of women? Very strange behavior. Personally Snapchat in general is a dealbreaker for me because why do you need a conversation that vanishes🤔 but I suspect I’m way older than you. I also personally don’t have social media accounts so I’m not hypocritical in preferring a man that doesn’t either🤷‍♀️ All that being said, you need to get clear on what you want and just remove yourself from situation…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 04:42 AM
24

This would be a hard pass for me personally. I don’t want a man who is thirsty for female validation, let alone one who can’t even own it and lies about it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 04:31 AM
6

I’ve never had a man ask about my body count, and frankly wouldn’t date someone who did. I think this is mostly a chronically online narrative of this being something commonly asked while dating. Regardless of your body count, the odds of finding a man willing to wait for marriage at all is pretty low in general in today’s day and age. So yes, you’d be limiting yourself to an even further subset of those men. But remember, quality over quantity, always. If this is something you feel strongly abo…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 01:20 AM
13

You should not be spending time with him if you’re not his girlfriend. This is setting yourself up to be used and heartbroken. Have a conversation with him where you apologize for not setting boundaries with your mom, commit to it never happening again, tell him you would like to be back together, but if he doesn’t want to be back together, you need to protect your heart and move on. Fully move on. Stop seeing him or talking to him entirely. Honestly, it sounds like he probably wanted to see oth…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 03:09 AM
42

Instead of trying to passive aggressively control him and nag him about “biblical wisdom”, what if you had said “I love how dedicated you are to providing for our family. I can’t help but worry about you because you mean so much to me and I don’t want to lose you. Would you be willing to stay home with me through the hurricane, it would make me feel so much safer to have you with me.” Give him a way to feel like your hero, not like the little boy mommy is controlling because she knows better.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 03:55 PM
3

Yes. This is a very extreme situation you are recovering from. It will take time to heal. Give it plenty of time. When you are ready to start dating again, revisit how to vet men properly. Don’t let your desire for a husband cause you to miss or ignore red flags - remember, you want an actually good husband, not just any husband. It is better to be alone than with the wrong person.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 01:38 AM
4

Lol most of (if not all) TRP is complete garbage. Don’t force yourself to consume content that doesn’t resonate with you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 05:08 PM
33

I’m glad this topic is being revisited. I often find the advice that “men don’t care about your career or how much money you make!” to be at best, an extreme oversimplification, and usually completely wrong, yet it is so frequently given in this subreddit and similar “traditional femininity” circles. In my experience, even very traditionally masculine, high earning men WANT a wife that has a highly respected career and has accomplished things outside of the home. I’ve watched lots of friends who…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 05:04 PM
2

I probably shouldn’t even comment on this because I don’t wear makeup everyday but here are a few extra things that aren’t putting on extra makeup but will make you look way more put together: tinted mineral sunscreen - you’re already putting on sunscreen, so make it a tinted mineral one. I use one from missha which is actually better (higher coverage and glowier finish) than my usual foundation (Armani luminous silk for reference). Lash lift and tint makes it look like you have perfectly curled…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 03:55 PM
1

Did you read my comment? I recommend doing biglaw for two years. The exit opps alone (that you probably wouldn’t otherwise have access to) are worth it. If things go to plan (which, life always has a way of surprising you but let’s assume your projections all work out) and you get pregnant in 2 years, you can enjoy the benefits of biglaw through your maternity leave and then pivot to a more flexible in-house role when you’re ready to work again.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 05:42 PM
2

No, the average tenure in biglaw varies a little with each particular firm but it averages to 3 years. They have a churn and burn, up or out model that is brutal. Most men do it for the resume line to leave too (for the easier in-house jobs). Plus, big firms have the most amazing benefits for parents (fully paid for IVF and egg freezing, fully reimbursed childcare, fully reimbursed adoption, long parental leave, salaries that allow you to send your kids to the most expensive schools, etc). Lots …
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 01:36 PM
27

I’m an ex-biglaw attorney. Two years at a big firm will open SO many doors for you and will be on your resume forever. Stick to the plan, go to the firm, and then worry about exiting to a lower stress/lower hours option in a couple years (if you want to at that point). Don’t throw it all away prematurely. There are so many amazing, low stress jobs that will NOT be available to you in the future without having started out at a big firm.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 03:07 PM
5

I’d rather be strikingly beautiful/hot/sexy at first impression and then later let a more cutesy/silly personality out. I’m biased though because this is how I naturally am. It works super well. Ime men naturally “shape up” more and treat me really well right because they’re intimated/infatuated with how beautiful I am. It sounds narcissistic but this is what I’ve observed and many men have told me.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 01:41 PM
16

People are the sum of a million factors, it would be unusual to continually date someone who was “better” in every possible metric, every time (and unhealthy to think of dating in that way). Now that I think about it, my current boyfriend doesn’t play an instrument or sing, but I’ve dated multiple men who were very talented musicians. I don’t miss that at all/it’s not something I particularly look for in a partner. I’ve dated men who were taller than him, more physically built, bigger you-know-w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 10:41 PM
3

It sounds like you are being looked at (like all people in public) and are assuming an awful lot about what those people might or might not be thinking about you. For all you know they might be admiring your outfit, or hair, or jewelry, or might simply be looking around and not really thinking anything about you at all. Nothing in the information you provided supports your hypothesis that people generally believe overweight women shouldn’t (or can’t) be wealthy or date/marry wealthy men. In fact…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 07:46 PM
7

Very weird take. Most of life is risk. Yes a lot of people take the easiest or safest path but many don’t. I’ve taken a lot of risks in my life that have paid off big time and make for some very interesting life stories. I also enjoy some adrenaline-based sports which risk death/injury. My risk tolerance doesn’t make me an alpha woman lol.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 01:47 PM
8

‘’My heart doesn’t like this” tells me everything I need to know. Don’t make huge important life decisions out of fear of not finding better. You’ll know what is right for you when your heart feels at peace with the decision.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 01:34 PM
3

These look great. The main thing that jumped out to me was you have very solitary hobbies and not much a clear goal/vision around your social life - maybe figure out how to either find a social hobby or make your existing hobbies more social (like start a weekly book or knitting club). Out of curiosity how did you arrive at 104 recipes? That’s such a specific number!
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 11:31 PM
5

Why are you continuing to hang out/date/kiss him when you’ve repeatedly confirmed you want different things? MOVE ON. It’s so frustrating when grown women continue to make excuses for grown men and try to explain away very obvious incompatibilities. You can’t find the right one when you’re hung up on the obviously wrong one.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 07:10 PM
–

There’s no need to call women who make different choices than you a derogatory term.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 07:17 PM
8

It’s important to remember that being a SAHM might only be a couple years of your life until the kids go to school, or at the very most, 18 years (which sounds like a lot but really isn’t - if you have kids at 30 you’ll be 48 with 30-40 years left of your life to live). I’ve seen many women orient their entire lives around being a SAHM, and then get severely depressed, lonely and lost once their kids go to school full time a couple years later or leave the nest for college. A career that allows …
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 02:08 PM
1

I can relate to this so much. Being fat truly is an emotional security blanket especially if you have sexual trauma. For me, after a lot of therapy (emdr and somatic especially) the weight just melted off once I fixed the emotional stuff that was causing it, and built a lot of confidence overall. It sounds like you’ve already noticed that trend, so I would encourage you to continue exploring in therapy your fear of being seen/perceived and whatever else is causing this. The weight is truly just …
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 07:53 PM
7

What is inspiring this return to religion? Nostalgia? Something missing in your life? Something else? Seeing as you were non-religious for awhile, I would caution you against making permanent decisions based on recently being more interested in religion. You could just as easily “fall back out of it” so to speak and regret giving up who you once thought was the love of your life. I would give the same advice to someone who was strongly religious their whole life and recently questioning their fa…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 03:10 PM
3

If by “nice guys” you mean inauthentic losers with a covert contract to get sex by being “nice”, then yes. But no high quality woman wants a guy who isn’t kind, communicative and considerate. Having a backbone and the ability to lead is important, being an asshole will get you dumped by any decent woman. As much as the men hate to admit it, there is an extreme shortage of men with character and integrity, and there are a lot of hateful, entitled losers who deserve to be sexless and alone.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 01:07 PM
5

Completely agree. When I see a lot of the redpill male content I think - you’re only going to attract mentally ill women with low self esteem😂 Redpill men don’t seem to understand you can be kind and genuine and still have a backbone, they seem to think there’s only one extreme of allowing people to walk all over you or be an inconsiderate asshole.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 01:02 PM
25

“Hi! My flight ended up being $XXXX. Can you PayPal me today? Thank you😘” Done. This shouldn’t be hard. If he doesn’t send you the money, cancel the trip.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 03:28 PM
17

Why would you allow yourself to be used if you know that’s what’s happening? Stop that!!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 08:24 PM
44

Most men just want easy, free (or very cheap) sex. They are playing a numbers game, they might have shot their shot with 100 girls before getting one yes. Don’t take it personally. They do it because it works often enough - there are unfortunately plenty of women who give it up quickly and freely. All you can do is make sure he has invested a significant amount of time, effort and money before you sleep with him, and have patience. Know that the vast majority of men that you meet will only be af…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 07:53 PM
16

Don’t be friends with men….just don’t do it.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 12:29 AM
22

He’s probably in a relationship and the girlfriend found the DMs but didn’t see the hinge app. I’d just let it go. There will be lots of dead-ends with online dating, it’s just how it goes. You can’t take it personally.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 12:23 AM
18

Hard pass. Why are you even interested? Let this loser go.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:56 PM
21

Yeah no, he can come to you to take you on a date if he wants. Don’t do that. Actions > words, every time.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:54 PM
25

In my experience it’s very obvious whether a guy is or isn’t appreciative of your efforts and fully valuing your labor. For example, when you cook dinner, is he enthusiastically thanking you and offering to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen after (whether or not you take him up on it)? Does he act grateful or entitled? Is he generally generous and caring towards you, wanting to make sure you’re comfortable and have everything you need? It would be rare for someone to be super kind, genero…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:47 PM
3

I try to do a validation sandwich, validating whatever I can or if nothing else, it’s always possible to validate the underlying emotion. Then I’ll try to gently express my thoughts, then repeat some form of validation. Nonviolent communication is a life changing book - I highly recommend if this is something you want to work on. I originally read it to help with fighting in a romantic relationship, then started to notice all of my relationships suddenly changing for the better once I learned to…
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 10:44 PM
22

I would have one last clear, vulnerable conversation about it - “I still get so excited to go on dates with my handsome husband, and then I feel embarrassed and hurt when we’re on a date night and you scroll Instagram instead of also being excited to be on a date with me.” Don’t go into it angry, agitated or nagging just calmly and clearly state how it makes you feel. Then wait for him to present a solution. If that still doesn’t go well, then I would start “show not tell”. Start looking at your…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 08:24 PM
6

While there’s definitely some truth to the idea that most men don’t care about a women’s career (beyond basic financial responsibility), trust me, you do NOT want the kind of man who is attracted to someone who is unemployed without a plan to get their career back on track, with unresolved trauma and very little self worth. You will attract users who want to prey on your weakness. Focus on yourself right now. Take a year, work really hard on finding a career path and resolving some of your traum…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 07:56 PM
7

You need to go into nun mode and prioritize (1) finding a job, (2) moving out, and (3) working through your childhood trauma, self esteem, and boundaries before you start prioritizing dating. Of course you’re going to let people walk all over you when you’re financially vulnerable and still living with the people who abused you. I’d recommend reading Boundaries: where you end and I begin and Codependent No More and working through the usual RPW recommended books. Laura Doyle’s books, the Rules, …
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 07:17 PM
6

Look, you can’t go through life calling out everything you disagree with. That’s the best way to ensure you become a miserable, judgmental loner. You can have really valuable relationships with people who view things differently from you or do things you wouldn’t do yourself. While it’s good to surround yourself with people you respect and admire and think are overall good people, you’re not going to find anyone who does things 100% perfectly by your own subjective standard. It’s one thing if a …
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 05:12 PM
11

He doesn’t like you, but is willing to receive free and easy sex and gifts from you. You can’t make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate. It’s time to take a step back from this and either focus on your studies in nun mode or find a man who actively demonstrates that he likes and respects you (and is not long distance).
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 02:29 AM
17

Don’t bring it up to him. If he is just doing a temporary pull back he will be pushed away by you being clingier, especially since he conveyed in advance that he has a busy work week. AT MOST, I would invite him over to cook dinner for him one night this upcoming weekend, that way you are demonstrating you are still interested and putting in some reciprocal effort (in case that is the problem). If he seems wishy washy about it or declines (without him proposing a better alternate day), completel…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 07:21 PM
2

Yes, I definitely think this is a decision that should be made from that clear headspace. I was 29 actually. And I wouldn’t be surprised if I have another major move or two in my life. Life has a way of surprising us despite our best efforts to plan! I know you mentioned in a different comment thread that you’re not “woo woo”, but it’s been my experience that that feeling of an inexplicable draw to a certain opportunity, or location, or person, is always for a reason. I’ve learned to trust it an…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 10:49 PM
3

Maybe just pick the fun, exciting city while you figure it out then. Plan a weekend trip once a month or so (or as your budget allows) to scope out potential longer term cities. I never in a million years would have guessed I’d end up where I am, I just happened to visit with a friend and fell in love with it. Try to have some fun with the process!
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 10:35 PM
2

If you’re always going to have “what ifs” about moving to the bigger city, I say do it. If you know you won’t have major fomo, the place you want to be long term definitely makes the most sense, but humans aren’t fully logical beings. For reference I moved to Manhattan right out of school. It was a massive waste of time and money and not nearly as fun or exciting as I thought it would be, but I don’t regret it at all because I KNOW if I’d moved straight to my rural town, I would’ve always wonder…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 10:06 PM
2

You’re really overthinking it. You shouldn’t be “practicing” for its own sake. If you are genuinely seeking connection and showing up as the best version of yourself at the time (understanding that that will never mean perfect) you won’t be burning bridges or doing damage to your reputation by simply being incompatible with someone, or having some slightly awkward attempts at dropping the handkerchief, or not perfectly calibrating incremental reciprocation. You don’t need to be perfect or have t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 06:57 PM
6

Quality > quantity. Having more options isn’t necessarily better. You only need one right one, not a ton of wrong ones. Get really clear on what you want. Where is that man likely to be? Where is your husband on a Saturday morning, or on a random weekday after work? Go there and do those things. Learn how to golf, hunt, start running, join a tennis club, etc. There’s another post from today about burning the haystack with online dating, I recommend reading that as well.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 04:05 AM
6

Very much agree. I wish the mods would more closely moderate the men who give clearly primarily self-interested or male-interested advice.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/24 01:28 PM
13

I grew up with a SAHM who homeschooled, and when my dad got home, she was “off the clock” just like he was. He would usually come home and start prepping food for dinner (it was usually a joint effort between them both, with him doing chopping/ingredient prep, her doing the active cooking, and the whole family washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen after). He would most often take us kids outside to play or do something active while she stayed inside to have some solo time. The family as a whol…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 01:11 AM
1

The thing is, you’re only 18 and kids are bullies. Based on the pictures you’ve previously posted you look very feminine and have a body many women would kill for. I like that your #1 goal above was finding a therapist because I believe you may have some body dysmorphia. I would encourage you to do a social media cleanse for some time and stop consuming content that makes you feel insecure about your body. Rebuild your self esteem.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 06:32 PM
9

These look like great goals! It’s smart to be in nun mode for at least the first two years of school. Focus on setting yourself up for success (in lots of ways) after school. In terms of being scared you won’t find someone, don’t worry about that now. Just by virtue of being someone who puts work into their physical and mental health, you’re already more attractive than most of the population. Remember, physical beauty is valuable in relationships, but so is being mentally stable, fit and health…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:41 PM
1

An ultimatum is very different from vetting for similar values and boundaries. No porn use is a perfectly fine thing to vet for. I’m sorry your experiences with men lead you to believe it’s a futile endeavor.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 04:17 AM
1

Strongly disagree. There are actually lots of men who don’t watch porn, even while single. I’ve had men bring up to me unsolicited that they don’t watch porn because they are religious or otherwise have a moral objection to it because they feel it can affect intimacy in a relationship, or because of the frequent exploitation, trafficking or nonconsensual issues going on with it. I’m surprised so many women accept “all men watch porn” as a universal truth when it’s simply not true and doesn’t nee…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 12:25 AM
2

Lots of other great advice here that I won’t repeat, but one thing I haven’t seen mentioned that helped me A LOT was flipping it in my head, and more intentionally noticing men that I cross paths with every day who objectively look hotter or are more successful than my boyfriend, and then also noticing how I had zero interest in them and still my find my boyfriend subjectively more attractive, every time. Think about it - when you first chose your boyfriend, it wasn’t that you objectively though…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 08:30 PM
15

I like to cover deal breaker stuff like this on the first or second date. Usually if I wait til date two the guy ends up beating me to this. It’s in their interest to make sure you’re aligned on this as well.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 02:22 PM
5

Interesting, now I’m glad that I didn’t know what the pink pill was😂 this seems to explain the epidemic I’m noticing recently of very masculine women complaining that they can’t find a masculine man anywhere.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 02:59 PM
5

Yes, key words there being “going for”. If you have to pursue, he ain’t the one. I think women should select from men that want to pursue her.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 02:57 PM
2

It sounds like you’re already doing something to fix it - this surgery. Hopefully that helps tremendously. If you haven’t, you should go to a psychiatrist and tell them you’re struggling to care for yourself. Get an anti anxiety med for sure, and probably also an antidepressant. It sounds like your mental health is debilitating just as much or more than your physical issue. Disregard if your doctor advises against this, but have you considered intermittent fasting? If you just ate one large late…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 02:00 PM
2

I’m sure there are tons who just don’t advertise their personal views when publishing their research. What specific topic are you looking for?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 01:56 PM
2

This is actually what I always thought that meant as well - that when people say they are the table they mean that they have so many intangibles like feminine nurturing energy, girlishness, fun, kindness, etc. they don’t need to bring tangible things like money or providing.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 01:54 PM
6

I firmly believe if you are RPW who want a captain who will lead, you need to allow the man to lead from the start. That includes by not heavily investing in the beginning (or at all until he first demonstrates a comparable level of investment). We should be warmly appreciating and reciprocating (in a more feminine way, not just matching what he does). It doesn’t mean have a bad attitude as if you are above him, but “be the prize” can also mean just hang back and allow him to have to work for yo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 01:47 PM
2

You should not be thinking about dating right now. Go into nun mode and focus on getting your body dysmorphia, ptsd, adhd, depression, pcos and whatever other issues under control. You need to address your mental health and get to a stable and happy place in order to attract a decent healthy person in return. I took a full two years off of dating in order to deal with severe ptsd, during which time I suffered with psychotic episodes, dissociation, severe panic attacks and other issues. I went to…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 03:01 AM
6

Seconding this. One thing that helped me was thinking about people I admire, respect and/or feel jealous of, and thinking about specifically why that is. Then just copy those things lol. I had a friend who I really respected for her work ethic and how she had developed multiple streams of income, so I started my own side hustle. I had a friend who I always envied her home when I would visit because it was just so cozy and peaceful. I slowly started changing my home decor (not to match hers, but …
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 07:17 PM
3

Why would you be ok with just a coffee as a second date after you spent hours making food for him as the first date? Don’t accept that bs. Grabbing a coffee together on a Sunday morning once you’re a couple? Cute, love it. But in this situation it’s weird and clearly he’s seeing how little you’ll accept.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 02:09 PM
33

Yes, in the future it’s not a good idea to invest a lot before he first invests a lot. Look up the incremental reciprocation link in the wiki. Basically, he invests, then you do a small reciprocal gesture to demonstrate appreciation, wait and see if invests more, and the cycle continues. To start off the first date with you putting in hours of effort for him sends a vibe of putting him on a pedestal, he’ll think he’s the prize. Once he’s shown effort himself, making the dumplings is a lovely thi…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 02:14 PM
42

“Coffee at 8pm isn’t my thing, but I’d be open to dinner!” And just see how he reacts. Lots of men are good at putting on a show for the first date or first month, you’re continuously vetting.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 01:33 PM
8

You should actually get a life and friends. There are so many free activities. Join a running group, hiking meetup group, kickball league, pickleball team, book club, sewing club, go to free community events like farmers markets. Join bumble bff and invite women to come to a free event with you or go for a walk, etc. Introduce yourself to your neighbors, start making small talk with people you run into in normal life. Invite coworkers to come to some free activity with you after work.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 04:17 PM
4

Is this the same boyfriend you’re long distance with who searches for other girls online? Sounds like there may be other incompatibilities as well….
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 07:35 PM
12

We need a few specific examples to be able to give advice. A man trying to read your micro expressions and claiming they’re not submissive sounds truly bizarre and unhealthy, but I’m trying to not jump to any conclusions without examples.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 07:57 PM
5

It might be a regional thing as well. I was raised in the south, where a man would be offended if you offered to pay. It’s basically as if you had insulted his masculinity. It’s considered poor etiquette. I think it’s one of those issues where there’s a lot of variance depending on how and where the person was raised.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 04:08 PM
14

Allow him to be a gentleman - allow him to pick you up, wait for him to open the doors for you, pull out your chair, pay for the meal, etc. I disagree with the other comments about offering to pay, since you both seem traditional. Warmly say thank you and let him know you appreciate it. Wear a nice sundress. Otherwise, don’t overthink it. Have a nice conversation, ask him about himself, get to know him. Have fun!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 12:31 AM
2

Thank you! This makes me feel better. Yes I absolutely need to work on pausing and not blurting things out🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 01:17 AM
2

Thanks. Would you recommend waiting to speak to him about it in person (it will be a few days) or sending a text in the meantime?
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 10:56 PM
4

Thank you. You’re right, my anxiety is spiraling. Your example is great. I could work on slowing down and trying to not react immediately.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:25 PM
10

Don’t watch those videos, sounds like the bitter men that try to make women insecure. This post is helpful on the topic of aging: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/c8oAvsm3tu I am significantly more physically attractive at 31 than I ever was at 21, not to mention the non-physical ways I’ve increased in attractiveness (better social skills, increased femininity, more regulated emotions, happier, better cook, better overall life skills). Now, do I think I’ll be more physically attractive at…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 04:58 PM
9

I would suggest for the first two-three years of college, focus on grades and making good friends. Then as you are starting to think about what life will look like after graduation and have a good social life, dating will be easier. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to date for marriage at 18, because you really have no idea what life will look like after college. If you happen to meet a great guy you want to date right away then go for it (slowly), but I wouldn’t seek it out at this time. The …
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 04:01 PM
12

Start masturbating by just using your imagination or written smut. You can also try to redirect to a different kind of feel good activity, like take a nice bath or something.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 03:40 AM
5

Why do you keep posting this and deleting it but not taking any of the advice in the comments….
/r/RedPillWives27/06/24 01:50 PM
2

Yes, I think that’s the biggest differentiator between omg this woman’s perfect in a good way, vs. omg this woman’s trying way too hard to be perfect, in a bad way.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 02:05 AM
8

Without more details it’s hard to give specific advice, but generally I’d say find a therapist to get to the root of your behavior and learn some strategies for changing. It can take a few tries to find the right therapist and right modality - I cycled through 3 before I found someone truly helpful in a practical way. You should also read books about your specific issues (in addition to the general RPW recommended books in the wiki). If you have a trusted friend or family member you can confide …
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 07:27 PM
4

I think of it just as I described in my comment - the female version of “nice guy syndrome”. It’s basically performative and inauthentic “niceness” out of a desperation to be liked or “picked” by the guy.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 03:01 AM
2

No, but being a “pick me” is repulsive to men in the same way “nice guy syndrome” is repulsive to women. If you’re so focused on being perfect for a guy to the point where it is inauthentic, desperate or doormat-like, of course that’s a turn off.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 12:49 AM
1

Gotcha, sorry for the unhelpful comment then. You may be pleasantly surprised with the natural results over time, I’d wait and see before worrying about the surgeries too much. A fupa will almost certainly go away on its own once you lose weight. You got this!
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 12:11 AM
35

I would strongly urge you to WAIT on the breast reduction and tummy tuck until AFTER you’re at or very close to your ideal weight. I always wanted a breast reduction but then when I lost weight, the first place I lost a lot of weight from was my boobs, to the point where I ended up wanting an augmentation😅 people don’t always lose weight proportionately, it usually comes more from one spot or another. A tummy tuck is primarily used to repair abdominal muscles that have been separated due to preg…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 12:05 AM
1

I don’t think I’ve ever driven with a man as a passenger tbh, that sounds odd. Just let him drive. Who cares if it’s your city.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 03:21 AM
2

What are you hoping to get out of an online marriage retreat? I feel like any goals I could think of would be better served by therapy, marriage/relationship book study, quality focused time like a date or staycation, etc.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/24 07:26 PM
5

Google “high neck a-line prom dress cap sleeve”. There are a bunch of cute options! Couple ideas below. Alternatively, bridesmaid dresses tend to be more conservative, you could look at those. https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-kara-modest-bridesmaid-dresses?color=eucalyptus&campaigncountry=US_EN&utm_term=1001158&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmd5VteBxD6-GOKn1g1fgroWOTfG&gclid=CjwKCAjw1K-zBhBIEiwAWeCOF7Ov-ZAWziZDguGntLGb-e2H8V7IG4CuprMV_qMHhCgBd6Et797mXhoCL5MQAvD_BwE https://www.jjshouse.com/a-l…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 09:39 AM
11

Are you sure he’s single? The thing is, he has your number. He knows how to get in touch with you if he’s interested. That being said, if you really want to pursue, here’s what I’d do: The best option is to ask your mutual family member to throw a dinner party and invite some people, including him. Then you can chat in an informal way and I would flirt and express interest but not directly ask him out. See how he reacts. You’ve met him several times in professional circles - what type of profess…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 08:22 PM
4

The most important thing is find a workout you enjoy, or at least that you don’t hate. Otherwise you’ll be relying strictly on discipline which is difficult to maintain. Don’t be afraid to take a couple months and try different things to figure out what you like. Get classpass and go to every fitness class in town, get day passes to different gyms and see which one you like best, try going for walks, runs, hikes, bike rides, etc. with different playlists and podcasts. A workout can also look lik…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 02:47 PM
1

I had a “friend” just like this. It ended when she tried (unsuccessfully) to sleep with my boyfriend, I told her off and then blocked her, she has since tried to sleep with every single person I’ve dated since. I hear from mutual acquaintances that she constantly asks about me. I’ve switched gyms multiple times and she switches soon after. It’s a weird obsession thing.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/24 03:03 PM
71

Am I understanding correctly that you are choosing to marry a 32 year old alcoholic with zero savings, who is living paycheck to paycheck, who is insecure about your good choices (probably because it makes him correctly realize he is actively making and has in the past made terrible choices), and who you have only known for 5 months? I would pause on the wedding planning and more carefully evaluate whether this is someone who is actually a leader and worth submitting to. I’m not saying you have …
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/24 03:49 PM
31

My take on it was that he made very tone deaf and inappropriate comments given the time and place. He was speaking at a graduation, and essentially told half the graduates that they were wasting their time and energy on a degree and career and their life wouldn’t truly start until they were a wife and mother. Obviously, being a stay at home mom is an extremely important job. But it was a really inappropriate context for him to make the comments he did. It is important for women to be educated an…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/24 08:17 PM
3

Aside from the usual suggestions of Laura Doyle (definitely read the Empowered Wife and/or the Surrendered Wife immediately if you haven’t already) there’s a book coming to mind called “8 Dates” by John Gottman. It basically gives you a framework for having 8 “dates” with the goal of fostering intimacy, learning important things about your partner and getting on the same page with important topics (like finances, raising kids, etc). This can especially be helpful for an avoidant partner because …
/r/RedPillWives17/05/24 09:14 PM
5

As others have said, it’s out of your hands. Your boyfriend might be disappointed in the situation, but there’s no reason for him to be disappointed in you. Why can’t you just visit him at his apartment? Why does he have to come to yours?
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 06:32 PM
2

Edited to make the advice more clear!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 01:53 PM
3

I think you’ve been handling this in the right way. It’s working because it’s revealed that he isn’t just blowing off steam - he is actively trying to upset you and provoke a reaction out of you. His behavior is not ok, regardless of the fact that you’ve done some things in the past that weren’t ok either. I would suggest talking to him about what is his plan to try to repair the relationship? What does he need to rebuild trust going forward? Because trying to provoke you and hurt you won’t fix …
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 01:47 PM
33

This is pretty weird. Stop commenting on other women’s appearances (good or bad) to your man. It’s weird, broadcasts your insecurities and puts him in a weird position. If you’re concerned about it, then don’t invite him out with you guys. Keep girls nights as girls nights. There’s no reason for him to join a girls night. Once in a while double dates are fun, but bringing your man out for girl time is kinda weird and unnecessary. You can’t count on always being the hottest girl in the room. It’s…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 07:18 PM
26

Let’s be honest, if given the opportunity he’d sell himself for way less than a billion.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 01:46 PM
13

He won’t. Zero chance. You’ve discovered who he actually is instead of who he was pretending to be in the beginning. This is why it’s important to vet for consistency over time.
/r/RedPillWives15/05/24 01:44 PM
27

30M is an immediate no. You know this. End it. 33M is promising, but it’s only been 4 months. Keep getting to know him.
/r/RedPillWives15/05/24 01:26 PM
31

It seems to me that his actions clearly demonstrate that he loves you, and he has told you that he does. I wouldn’t push him to say it more often at this point. He will probably get more comfortable with it over time, but if you pressure him it will likely backfire. When the doubt creeps in remind yourself of the recent things he’s done for you that demonstrate love and care for you.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 07:34 PM
6

Nothing you described is that bad at all, and it certainly doesn’t justify his behavior. Sounds like he is searching for excuses to control you. This is very, very strange. I took a peek at your post history, and my heart breaks for you. This man is gaslighting you and controlling sweetheart. Your commitment to staying with him would be admirable if he was a good person who had made mistakes. But he is not a good person. He does not care about you, at all. He does not love you, at all. He does n…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 02:40 PM
4

Honestly, this is pretty concerning. It sounds like a cheater projecting onto you. This is super common where cheaters become extremely distrustful of their loyal partner because they know what they use as excuses or cover-ups to cheat and assume their partner is doing the same. At best, it’s controlling behavior on his part that is very concerning. A normal, healthy, loving partner cares about your day, and cares about what excites you and what makes you happy. I would encourage you to evaluate…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 08:13 PM
12

Others are giving you great advice on how to find interesting stories (podcasts, news etc) so I’ll just comment on one thing that jumped out to me - it sounds like when he asks about your day, you tell him nothing exciting happened and basically take the wind out of his sails and prime him to not care about anything you say next, because you’ve already told him it is uninteresting. A lot of being interesting is just how excited and animated YOU are about what you’re talking about. For example, y…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/24 04:07 PM
6

This is such great advice. Thanks for sharing the YouTuber, I’ll check her out.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 02:02 PM
1

Thank you! I live in a small town in the mountain West (think Colorado, Wyoming, Montana).
/r/RedPillWives29/04/24 01:56 PM
13

I respectfully disagree. This approach is what Laura Doyle and others (Getting to I Do, Why Men Marry Bitches, and other books I can’t recall right now) advocate for religiously. Make yourself happy first, prioritize self care above all else, stay busy with filling your own cup. Men need and want the space to come to you. My advice is not to turn cold, but to back off when he has shown he doesn’t value these efforts of hers and it’s making her miserable. It’s concerning to me that you view havin…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 01:53 PM
41

Stop cooking and cleaning for him everyday. It sounds like you keep doing it in the hopes you can bribe him into giving you more attention - it’s a covert contract and clearly not working for you. Stop and redirect that energy back into yourself. What can you do with that time to recharge yourself and make yourself happy? Start going to workout classes, or pickleball matches, or dance class, or book club after work. Make new friends. Let your boyfriend wonder what you’re up to. Give him the spac…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 06:32 AM
9

Did this issue come up around the same time as starting birth control? Some people have really bad reactions to it. I got extremely, scary depressed on one version of the pill, and then had huge rage and crying mood swings on another version. I now have an iud that thankfully evened me back out. Maybe talk to your doctor about switching birth control methods and/or getting tested for a hormone imbalance.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 11:35 PM
13

Some examples would help. But based on what you’ve told us, practice voicing things calmly/sweetly when they arise, instead of burying stuff until it builds and erupts later on. If this is a new issue and you can’t figure out how or why it started, do you have any other symptoms of medical issues like a hormone imbalance? Are you on birth control? There could be a physical reason for mood swings going on.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 11:29 PM
–

If you’re “taking care of him” in non-PIV ways, of course he has little desire for actual PIV. He gets to be lazy and get off with little to zero effort every day. Stop initiating. Full stop. Let him desire you. Let him miss you. Let him pursue you. Let him feel that he NEEDS to get you turned on, and NEEDS to get you off FIRST before you’ll even consider PIV with him, let alone getting him off without PIV. Especially since it sounds like he’s significantly older than you, his libido is probably…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 05:47 PM
2

You shouldn’t be talking to him about this - just the fact that you seem to believe your femininity depends on him, and that you have to verbally convince him to change, shows you have a long way to go in your own personal development. Just start showing up more feminine, and he may start showing up more masculine in response (or might not, in which case you have your answer and know what you have to do). Read and implement The Surrendered Single and The Surrendered Wife, and see how he responds…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 05:35 PM
19

If it was a gift from him it wouldn’t be weird, but to spend your own money it is pretty strange and cringe. I would not do that.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 06:16 PM
2

Like others have said, foreplay foreplay foreplay. Talk to him about it and make sure he’s aware he will need to stay shallower in certain positions. Speak up if it hurts so he can adjust and learn what works and what doesn’t - if you suffer through it you’ll start dreading sex and that’s a lose lose for both of you. I’ve never tried it, but I know there’s a doughnut type thing that can go around his penis to prevent him from going in all the way.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 05:52 PM
6

OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: 31F, only been dating 34M for 2 months Gratitude list: (1) I’m in the best shape and overall physical appearance of my life, (2) I’ve recently been receiving a lot of positive recognition and appreciation at work, (3) I love where I live, I feel “at home” for the first time in my life, (4) I have close friends that love and support me, (5) I’m feeling more at peace than I ever have before. Things I Did for My Present: (1) I worked out every d…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/24 03:17 PM
5

I don’t think it actually matters, is the thing. He’s manipulating you, hurting you and betraying you. Intentional or not, it’s really harmful and needs to stop. I’d recommend getting your own therapist, for your own sanity. This is a really tough situation.
/r/RedPillWives16/04/24 11:50 PM
6

This is classic emotional abuse. Basically, he’s training you that you’re not allowed to have needs or feelings, because anytime you bring something valid up, they turn it back on you and play the victim, so you end up comforting them, and they never actually take accountability or change. This is really, really not healthy. The books that helped me break out of this were Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin and Codependent No More, but I’m sure there are many others.
/r/RedPillWives16/04/24 11:42 PM
2

It is ok and healthy for you to express your hurt to him. He betrayed you. He broke his marriage vows. This understandably caused a lot of hurt and distrust. There is no need for you to try to hide that or minimize it. The only way to have a chance at reconnecting is if he can hold space for you to fully express how much he hurt you, and be able to take accountability and offer a deep, sincere apology in return. Squashing your feelings won’t work to help rebuild this. Maybe try writing it all do…
/r/RedPillWives16/04/24 11:04 PM
9

You can not forgive and forget when he has not taken accountability and credibly committed to it never happening again. Marijuana does not cause or even encourage people to cheat. It’s not an excuse. Mental illness does not cause people to cheat. It’s an excuse. Cheating is caused by poor character and lack of integrity. Period. If this man wants to be married to you, he needs to cut the shit and get actual treatment (therapy and medication) for his issues. He needs to commit to never cheating a…
/r/RedPillWives16/04/24 10:38 PM
15

This type of content has actually been very helpful to me in identifying red flags and being more cautious with men (as a former pick-me with previously terrible vetting skills). Because it is absolutely true that a lot of men will lie to you with zero shame. It is also true that a lot of men have integrity and would never do that. It is extremely important to be able to quickly tell the difference so you can treat each man accordingly and not waste your time with the assholes.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/24 02:09 PM
10

Get some cute loungewear sets. What you’ve described sounds…. trashy. Not sexy/sultry.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 02:21 PM
23

Block him on every form of contact. If nothing else, he’s shown you he’s the type to emotionally cheat on his wife🤷‍♀️ that’s just gross. You dodged a bullet.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 03:46 PM
4

I’d be pretty weirded out if my accountant tried to give me dating advice, but if you must, I’m seconding the suggestion to recommend a book that “you’ve heard from other women was really helpful.” Don’t get into it too much. Definitely don’t use the term redpill because the male side of things is very different than RPW and understandably can inspire a negative visceral reaction. For single women you could recommend the Surrendered Single, Getting to I Do, Why Men Love Bitches, the Rules, Think…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/24 07:58 PM
3

I love this. Congratulations!!
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/24 10:13 PM
2

I’m so happy for you, thank you for sharing!💕
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/24 09:29 PM
9

This made me tear up. Thank you for sharing💜
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/24 09:23 PM
6

I think it’s time to reframe confrontation. Confrontation is a good thing. If you’re comfortable being confrontational, you could speak up and say “actually, one moment please I just need a minute to think about where I want to go”, instead of passive aggressively stewing. You could say “next time, I’d appreciate if you could give me a minute to think when you ask me something instead of rushing me off the phone. I would love to go out, I was just surprised by the question and needed to think ab…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 05:07 PM
5

You absolutely can and will change and transform yourself with intentional work over time. Congrats to the new you. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made up until now. You were doing the best you could at the time with the information and experiences you’d had at the time. Now you know better and you’ll do better. Find a good therapist. All of the behaviors you’ve described stem from poor self worth, something that intentional therapy can really help you with. There can be some trial and er…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:04 PM
5

I mean, the current and the past are patriarchy too. Not something that needs to be worked towards or glamorized😂
/r/RedPillWives03/03/24 09:28 PM
7

The best revenge is not engaging with a man who doesn’t have the necessary character to be with you. Negative attention is still attention. Don’t engage in a race to the bottom.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 04:28 PM
7

How old are you? Some of this comes with age. But generally, it’s good you’re recognizing this pattern so now you can consciously change it. First step is figuring out what you want your life to look like. Who do you want to be apart from a relationship? What are your main non-romantic goals? Once you get really clear on that, it’s easier to see how a relationship fits in to the life you want to live. Maybe you’re so far away from where you want to be individually that you can’t even fully visio…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 03:11 PM
45

When you recognize a basic fundamental incompatibility early on, gracefully and tactfully bow out. If you’ve been together awhile with someone you’ve committed to and a new issue comes up, absolutely do everything you can to work it out, but that’s very different from discovering a clear incompatibility with a new person relatively early on. Also, your relationship issues are not an excuse for you to have an emotional affair. Your character and integrity shouldn’t be dependent on how often you’r…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 07:19 AM
23

Define a simp from your perspective. I’ve seen that term thrown around FAR too broadly, to where it’s even used to insult very kind, good, high value behavior that should be respected and desired. A true, masculine, secure leader will go out of his way to show his partner a high degree of care, love and affection. The dgaf attitude a lot of men try to have is not alpha and is not something we should seek out or reward. It’s insecurity hidden beneath ego, and does not make for a good relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/24 09:35 PM
25

Delete all social media for at least 3 months. Seriously. If/once you go back, you’ll realize the women you’re seeing are significantly more attractive than anyone you see in real life. You have an artificial sense of what the beauty standard is. Look around at the average person (man or woman). Most barely take care of themselves physically at all, and it shows. Just by virtue of you eating well, dressing well, playing sports, etc. you’re most likely already significantly more physically attrac…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 09:28 PM
2

It would be very strange if you had found your husband by 20. You still have many years before your brain is even finished developing. There is no rush. That being said, there is a huge difference between trying to be anyone’s dream girl vs. being the dream girl of the right man for you. Get really clear on what you want in a relationship and what you want in a partner. Work to match that as best you can. It will be a process. And understand that what you want is very likely to change over the n…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 05:29 PM
0

This is extremely concerning. There is a huge difference between being submissive to a good leader who has integrity, protects you, provides for you, honors you and deeply cares for you, vs. being submissive to any man who acts controlling or domineering. This guy sounds like the latter. He sounds manipulative, controlling, and wildly insecure. Not leader material and not someone that should be submitted to.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 04:28 PM
5

I am a girls girl too, and never compare myself to or feel competitive with other women. I’ve been blessed to have had 99% really wonderful, supportive friendships with women. I had a very similar situation come up with a friend who suddenly started comparing herself to me and making weird competitive comments. She ended up trying to sleep with multiple men I dated (my then-boyfriend and two guys I went on a few dates with after him). It was like she needed the validation of knowing she could “g…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/24 11:38 PM
22

It sounds like you need to stop arguing with people over politics. There’s no sense in fighting with people that aren’t interested in hearing your opinion on the matter. That being said, if your only issue is basic political disagreements (no threats of imminent harm to yourself or others) no doctor is going to involuntarily hold you in a psych hospital. Your mom is bs-ing you. I am not Irish, but have done some research on this, and my understanding is that Ireland is amending the constitution …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 10:13 PM
3

Sorry for the tough love, but you got this. This is fixable. Don’t get discouraged by the inevitable bumps along the way as you start turning things around. It’ll be two steps forward, one step back for awhile. But you can do this. Read Laura Doyle’s books.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 10:00 PM
13

The thing is, this is a grown adult man who presumably was managing his life just fine before she came in and started taking over. If she stops all of that cold turkey, he’ll step up. Or he won’t, in which case she needs to let him flounder and fail and then she can move on instead of babysitting an adult forever. But she’s causing this issue herself by infantilizing him.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 07:02 PM
47

You need to read Laura Doyle’s books and start implementing asap. You can’t blame him for being “beta” when an alpha man wouldn’t touch you with a 10-foot pole. You’ll do this in every relationship. I know because I used to be this way. Stop controlling him. Stop nitpicking him. Let him be. You think you “need” to do these things but you 100% don’t. See what happens when you stay 100% in your own lane, focused on your own life. Simultaneously, go to the doctor and get your hormones checked. If t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 03:40 PM
24

Honestly, a lot of Fascinating Womanhood is severely outdated and frankly kinda weird. Don’t be concerned if you don’t resonate with that book in particular. Maybe you’ll resonate more with Getting to I Do, the Rules, Why Men Love Bitches, Think like a Man act like a lady, etc. The dressing part is easy enough if you want to dress more feminine. Start with comfortable but flattering dresses as your budget allows. It’s ok if you prefer more masculine clothes in certain settings (like lounging at …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 06:52 PM
2

He’s not interested anymore. Start moving on. Let it go. Find someone not long distance who is excited about you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 06:54 PM
5

A 55 year old man can’t compete with a 25 year old man either. Are you worried about your ability to stay loyal to your man as he ages? Do you think you’ll leave him for younger eye candy as you age? At a certain point we need to touch grass and not be so influenced by the whole chronically online “hitting the wall” thing. Both genders get objectively less physically attractive as they age, but plenty of couples keep the love and romance and spark alive. It just takes two people who are equally …
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 05:03 PM
21

It took me awhile to get here. Where I grew up (a cult-ish very religious very conservative small town) I was only ever exposed to traditional marriages as a trap to control, use and abuse women. I overcorrected for a long term and was determined to always be hyperindependent. It felt like I was fighting what I wanted and how I wanted to show up in relationships. I love being traditionally feminine and I’m only attracted to men who show up in the relationship as traditionally masculine. I also w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 01:03 PM
7

If you’re not a troll, get therapy. ASAP. This perspective is wildly out of touch with reality, and I can’t believe you didn’t laugh in your ex’s face when he said that.
/r/RedPillWives29/01/24 05:32 PM
17

Ah, got it. I think this situation calls for some tough love and clear boundaries. You have to say something like, I support you wanting to save your sister and I won’t try to stop you, but it’s important that you understand going into it that I am at capacity struggling to stay afloat and will not be able to take care of you during recovery. You may want to go stay at your mom’s or otherwise figure out a support system during recovery that doesn’t involve me. Also, it’s not fair to me to have t…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 05:20 PM
9

I’m confused. Why would you not want him to donate his kidney to save his sister’s life? It’s not a particularly dangerous surgery (although, of course every surgery has some risks) and most people recover in a couple weeks.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 05:13 PM
6

Just block him and her and any of their friends on every form of communication and social media.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 04:54 PM
28

Wow he sounds psychotic. Extremely controlling. Potential for future abuse is really high here. Be grateful he showed you his true self this early on. Time to block him and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 04:43 PM
5

Got it. Yes, if you weren’t confident he’s your life partner then it doesn’t make sense to knowingly risk an std for him. I’d recommend finishing the gardasil shots anyway just to be safe for the future. The vast majority of people have hpv, and if they’re asymptomatic they could give it to you without knowing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 04:58 AM
4

Interesting. There are folks with genital herpes who go years without outbreaks. Sounds like maybe he was unmedicated. There isn’t a vaccine for herpes. There is an hpv vaccine which is good to get because you can get hpv from any skin to skin contact, it’s not just sexually transmitted. Something like 80% of adults in the U.S have hpv and most don’t even know, because it’s not routinely tested for. So most people wouldn’t even know to disclose to you that they have it (and unless you’ve explici…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 04:54 AM
12

It depends. Genital herpes doesn’t cause cancer or health issues (aside from the skin discomfort), unlike some other stds. The risk of transmission when the person is on daily medication and not having an active outbreak is very, very low. There are married couples who have been having unprotected sex for decades where the spouse still hasn’t contracted herpes when on the suppression meds. If I believed this person was otherwise an excellent partner, after thoroughly vetting them, I would be fin…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 04:39 AM
5

Like others have said, it seems like all the signs are there that he’s generous - especially given you’ve only had 2.5 months of in-person dates. Notably in your post it doesn’t say anywhere that you asked him for what you want - if you wanted spa treatments on your birthday, you could’ve said hey I’d love a massage for my birthday, could you book one for me? And if he says no, then he says no, but it’s a little weird to me that you expected him to know that’s what you wanted. Same with buying o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 01:52 PM
10

Yes, I agree 100%. An insecure man is a dangerous man - he will always be trying to bring you down a peg to feel how he feels.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 08:00 PM
21

Look, a 22 year old man objectively looks better than a 42 year old man or a 62 year old man. Every damn time. But you aren’t going trying to date 22 year old men your whole life, for lots of reasons. You want a man who is fiercely loyal and understands that both of you will objectively look “worse” as you both age, but you are both committed to loving and cherishing each other. There are many older couples who remain attracted to each other and keep the romance alive. This man you’re dealing wi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 07:09 PM
5

You’re a bit off base. Plenty RPW are not at all religious, and I don’t think the Bible has any practical advice even if you are religious. That being said, have you read the wiki? There are tons of book recommendations there. The Empowered Wife and Empowered Single are other Doyle books that are absolutely fantastic. I like “the rules” and “getting to I do” for single women looking to get married in a more traditional/rpw-type relationship, and have read and re-read them many times. Fascinating…
/r/RedPillWives13/01/24 04:38 PM
5

Better to be happy (or even simply content) single than miserable with the wrong person. Like others have said, all you can do is get clear on what you want, and keep looking for a man who adds value to your (hopefully already fulfilling) life. Sure, don’t cling to standards of perfection since no one is perfect. But don’t compromise on things like his character and values.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 07:30 PM
31

Cheating is about the cheater. There’s nothing you can do, or not do, to stop a cheater from cheating on you. Vet, vet, vet, then vet some more. Character is the most important thing.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 05:32 PM
1

If you’re going to comment as a man on a woman’s sub, it’s important to be constructive. You’re all over the comments of this thread trying to justify this guy’s unacceptable controlling behavior and arguing with the actual women who are responding with real advice. We value the occasional male perspective when it is constructive and helpful to the women who are posting - not when it pushes the rp male’s agenda to the rp woman’s detriment.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 11:01 PM
5

I was just trying to illustrate how it seems so rediculous when it’s a religious extremist asking women to hide their hair, but OP is underreacting to this guy illustrating similar (although not yet as extreme) controlling behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:06 PM
11

Right. But OP shouldn’t have to hide the fact that she’s a woman. That’s insanity and she (and he) will go crazy if that’s the goal.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:01 PM
11

This is very concerning behavior. It starts with not being able to show your hair (which is truly outrageous and makes him sound like a religious extremist that advocates for women to wear head coverings) but where will it end? Will he then not allow you to play games at all because men will hear your voice and want to flirt with you? At the end of the day, you can dress classy and choose not flirt with other men, but you can’t be responsible for what other men choose to do. Every time you leave…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 09:48 PM
1

Nothing you do will fix this. He doesn’t want to have sex with you. No starter kit will help. This is on him to fix at this point. If he’s serious about saving a relationship with you, he’ll quit the porn. If he’s still low libido after a month or so of detoxing, he’ll go to the doctor and get checked out. Don’t put up with this for much longer. You’re not even married. Don’t agonize over a porn addict much longer and allow him to ruin your self esteem and waste your time.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 03:24 PM
3

Definitely a porn addiction, and also, you may be initiating too much. Back way off. If he wants to be sexual with you, he’ll initiate.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 08:21 PM
2

Oh that’s weird that you can’t find it. I found it on Amazon not too long ago. But yes that one’s great too! A lot of the same principles.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 11:02 PM
3

In the surrendered wife (you should read if you haven’t) Doyle suggests to NOT mention anything about what you’re reading to your husband. Just start acting differently and let the actions speak louder than words.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 05:53 PM
79

Agreed. A captain should have good discipline, good judgment and self-respect. A promiscuous man does not have those things, imo. If he went through a promiscuous phase early on and has grown and is no longer in that lifestyle, that’s a different story. I wouldn’t have a problem with that (personally). A common theme on this sub is that most redpill men (in the sense of chronically online redpill redditors who take the male rp sub like gospel) do not make good husbands to a rpw. Our values are t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 05:47 PM
5

You shouldn’t try to change him. Don’t tell him to “act manlier” it won’t work and it’ll just cause resentment on both sides. He’ll probably take it the wrong way anyway and get a complex about how women only like assholes. You’ve only known him a few months. It’s time to move on and find someone you’re more compatible with. Maybe he’ll find a girl who appreciates the clingy.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 05:42 PM
2

There’s a big difference between choosing to submit to a captain because you can trust and respect his leadership vs. being a doormat and letting any man walk all over you. It seems like a lot of people (especially those newer to this sub) try to use red pill ideas to justify the latter, and that is not what being a rpw is about. That being said, I think with this specific couple you’re making way too many assumptions about their relationship dynamic. People’s work personalities are often differ…
/r/RedPillWives06/01/24 04:38 PM
2

Yeah, no. Can the mods please start cracking down on male contributors like this who come to a women’s space with these terrible contributions?
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/24 04:48 PM
16

This is terrible advice. You’ve only known this guy a couple weeks. Do NOT stop spending time with your girl friends for any man, let alone a virtual stranger. You need to vet this man before trying to bend over backwards to please him.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 04:58 PM
1

Awesome!!
/r/RedPillWives04/01/24 03:56 PM
1

Can you just leave and come back when it’s fixed? “Looks like you’ve got this handled, thank you for dealing with this. Glad I have a man that can handle these things! Since the toilets and washing machine aren’t working I’m going to go to a friend’s house/hotel/coffee shop for now so I’m not underfoot. If you’d like me to call a plumber for you let me know.”
/r/RedPillWives04/01/24 03:53 PM
13

You can be into the outdoors and active hobbies and still be feminine. I hike, backpack, climb, and ski all the time, it’s very much my lifestyle and I have awesome women friends into the same stuff. Obviously I have functional gear, but I try to choose flattering, more feminine options whenever possible. I live in lululemon aligns and a define jacket as my base athletic outfit. Being feminine doesn’t mean having elaborate beauty routines. I have an easy hairstyle that doesn’t require anything o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:15 PM
10

I did not read the full thing but think I get the gist. Get rid of this man asap. Ew. Just ew. This shouldn’t be a question in your mind. Block on every form of contact. Move on. Do not entertain a man who disrespects you, in any way. Period. At the first sign of devaluing you or disrespecting you, they’re gone. They’re not the one. They have no place in your life. It takes time to truly know who a man is. Whether or not a man wants to get married is a threshold question - then you have to quest…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 05:53 AM
5

There are potentially a bunch of advantages to having a stay at home spouse. It can enable one spouse to focus almost exclusively on their career, so that they are not spending time and energy on nearly as many draining, non-income generating tasks. Without a stay at home spouse to take over those tasks, the outsourcing could be significantly expensive. Paying for services like childcare, cleaning, meal prep services, laundry service, eating out more because you don’t have time to cook, etc. rea…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 02:26 AM
9

Masculine men take pride in being able to please their woman sexually. Can’t imagine being with a man who wouldn’t want to go down on me. He can go find another man to be with if he hates vaginas so much🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 06:23 PM
2

You didn’t answer any of the questions we asked last time you posted about this, so it’s impossible to give good advice. What does stingy mean to you, what are examples of the behavior that bothers you? Is he stingy with himself, but generous to you? Is he cheap or is he frugal (yes there’s a big difference)? Is it within his means to be more generous? Did he start out more generous and then stop, or has he been the same throughout the courting process and you’re now trying to change him? Genera…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 06:17 PM
12

You don’t have to explain why. Just say you’re not compatible, you don’t want to take it any further but wish him all the best. If he pushes for a reason you can say you’re more compatible with a man who takes more initiative. But honestly, don’t get sucked into a conversation about it. He might just try to guilt trip you or make you feel bad.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 08:01 PM
93

He is clearly using you. What, if any, value does this man add to your life? He guilt trips you about your past, adds extra work to your life, and financially drains you. This is not the one. You need a reset and to get some standards. Your dad is right - a man that actually loves and respects you will want to provide, even if it’s just in small ways within his means. He certainly wouldn’t want to make your life harder than it is without him. This guy is just a bum and a selfish mooch.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 07:57 PM
2

Yeah, OP needs to decide if she’s in it enough to sincerely and convincingly give the bf the reassurance he needs to feel comfortable with this. But like I said in my original comment I get the impression this is the final straw issue so to speak, because it seems very fixable if this was truly the only problem and they were motivated to work through it. OP might need to go into nun mode awhile as she continues to develop on her own, especially considering how young she is. It sounds like she’s …
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 05:54 PM
3

That’s why I said it’s fixable with some good communication and reassurance. He needs to feel confident that she is 100% in the relationship, but just values her alone time and solo experiences. That’s super normal and a secure partner shouldn’t have an issue with it.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 05:35 PM
1

Some of these comments are wack. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to travel solo or treat yourself to nice solo experiences. Your boyfriend is likely upset that you don’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with him. He’s insecure because you’ve been leveling up, so it will be much easier for you to replace him, and now you don’t want to spend the most romantic holiday with him. He can sense you pulling away and is getting controlling to compensate. Consider whether you can plan your trip…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 05:30 PM
6

I promise there’s no need to stress, he already likes you and it’s really not different from eating at less expensive restaurants, just hypothetically better atmosphere and food. Look at pictures of the restaurant and menu online in advance so you can relax a bit knowing what it will be like. Plan a nice, classy but not overly formal, outfit in advance so you don’t have to worry about it the day of. Looking at the restaurant pictures in advance will help you know what level of dress is appropria…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 08:36 PM
7

Tbh I didn’t fully read this in detail but I gathered the most important issue was you feeling like he wants you to match his newer energy of being primarily focused on school/work/career. I can weigh in on this as a corporate lawyer. I spent law school and the first several years of my career looking down on anyone who was not a workaholic. To be successful in law school/as a lawyer, it is truly all consuming. Workaholism, who’s the busiest, who’s slept the least, who’s billed the most, who’s s…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 01:26 AM
4

Yup it seems to me like it mostly got taken over by men stuck in the anger phase after being done wrong by a significant woman in their life. Pretty sad.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 05:46 AM
15

It sounds like maybe you’re reading too much redpill content geared towards men. It’s commonly mentioned on this sub that redpill men (in the sense of chronically online, follows trp sub like gospel) do not make good partners for RPW. They don’t have the same values that make for a good leader of a marriage and family. A couple things I want to push back on in your post. You say you’re dating trying to get a man to commit to you. You shouldn’t be trying to get commitment from any random man. You…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 03:52 AM
–

Honestly just act completely normal. Women tend to overthink after sex and get either too warm or too cold after. If you have zero interest in dating him, and he asks you out again, turn him down in a polite but firm way, no need to be rude or hurt his feelings. If you’re interested in dating him then let him pursue you but be warm and friendly when he does.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 03:04 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter