| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 27 | Ways of Seeing | HungryExamination | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 06:58 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 16 | What's your mAlE FemInISt story?Theres almost too many. My friends man (they have a child together) who is openly left, political, feminist. She does almost all the childcare and domestic chores and has done for years. The woke lecturer I 'dated' who nevertheless treated me like a sex service industry. The teacher i dated with 'The Second Sex' on his bedside table who wanted me to dress up for sex but flipped his lid and called me a 'fucker' when I jokingly suggested I'd get him a g-string to wear in return. Fortunately open '… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/20 06:53 AM |
| 9 | Dear Reddit LibFems: Nobody died and made your self important asses the gatekeepers of feminism. We're not "fake feminists" because you don't agree with us, nor are you as inclusive and non-judgmental of women's choices as you pretend you are.The third wave sold us out. Long live the second wave | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 07:16 PM |
| 2 | To bring me down my narcissist NVM ex used to tell me I’m “not his type” even in subtle ways in the beginning of the relationship till the very end more aggressively. I’ve since realized something that is only a part of my wake up process...Its one of the baggage reclaim podcasts. The title has 'not my type' in it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 08:14 PM |
| 18 | To bring me down my narcissist NVM ex used to tell me I’m “not his type” even in subtle ways in the beginning of the relationship till the very end more aggressively. I’ve since realized something that is only a part of my wake up process...Listened to a great podcast about this 'not my type' thing the other day. I had a borderline boyfriend tell me this as well. Along with other subtle cuts. You have to ask in retrospect, what would they gain from this? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 06:10 PM |
| 10 | A man who really wants you will NEVER EVER leave you wondering. The second you feel confused or you start second guessing yourself it’s time to go 👋I have a freind who was seeing someone for several months, this man on thinking she was ending it due to his behaviour was banging at her door crying. A breakdown on the doorstep. Begging. Transpired he had a wife and kids and another woman he was seeing. Begging and crying are proof of nothing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:03 AM |
| 5 | A man who really wants you will NEVER EVER leave you wondering. The second you feel confused or you start second guessing yourself it’s time to go 👋100%. I was with a man for several months and I would keep getting up in the night to leave his bed and drive home. It felt like an alarm was going off inside me. He was a wrong un. Your body knows even if your mind is trying to rationalise | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:00 AM |
| 2 | Had a conversation with a male friend today that confirmed FDS strategies99% maybe more, for sure. I have seen and do know some men though that don't do this. It's as unthinkable to them as it would be to us. I think its important to bear this in mind so we remeber that this is a choice and a value system issue. Its not fait accompli. They're not at the mercy of their dicks in the way society would like us to believe, its a very convenient story though | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 06:54 AM |
| 2 | Of course LVM don’t want to seek help — they’ve been brought up thinking that they’re great!Well articulated. I'm seeing a man at the moment who, while I don't know exactly what happened, I know his childhood was very bad. He's told me enough to know he is undergoing treatment for PTSD. None of that has led to him having a poor value system, that I can see. If anything he seems hyper aware of respecting other peoples boundaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 06:35 AM |
| 45 | Had a conversation with a male friend today that confirmed FDS strategiesWithholding sex sorts the wheat from the chaff with zero bad consequences for the woman. I also have a freind like this, he's a good friend to me, as in really good at DIY, helped me move house twice, helped decorate the new house, helped me set up a workshop, never laid hands on me or made me uncomfortable, dug a 2 foot deep grave to bury my cat in the pissing rain. Genuinely don't know what I would have done without him at my lowest points. But....his attitude towards casual sex is problematic… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:44 AM |
| 34 | A father shouldn’t be praised for parenting his own childrenUnderstand the sentiment and in no way should fathers be coo'ed over for parenting. That said, being a single mother who only dates men with kids (im in my 40s meeting men in their 40s), how often they see their kids is the first thing I'm looking at. Men who don't do half and half, if there's no good reason, is a no. There are so many of them seeing their kids once a month, or just going to the mothers for a visit during the week, I cant tell you. Really quite rare for them to do 50/50. Sometim… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:02 AM |
| 6 | Don't know how to date in a city where men put no effort.Its the same further north. I've had a few men pay for the first couple of dates but it isn't typical | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 06:51 AM |
| 22 | Struggle is realShe's nailed it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 04:23 AM |
| 11 | Posted it on /heartbreak, but I guess here I could listen to much more real opinions. Feel so awful now:(Do not try to get closure. He wants out, let him go out. You don't need closure beyond knowing he was an emotional vampire. The worst of the worst. He will come back as someone else said, for validation when his supplies are low and HE WILL DO THE SAME THING AGAIN. Say nothing and block him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 05:05 PM |
| 9 | Racist LVM Scrote blogs about FDS and claims that FDS Women are delusional and mostly blackHe's missed the point of FDS and the women who subscribe to it. He first translates HVM as physical and material attributes, he misses entirely that it is character. He's a racist and misogynist. He's utterly missed the point that the women on here are rejecting men on the basis of character and values. There isn't a lack of approaches or dates, there's a lack of integrity Of course he says if the women on here were beautiful they'd be in a relationship. Then he says he dates several beautiful w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 05:00 PM |
| 3 | I've always been told by my family members to be more quiet and introverted around guys in order to impress them. To this day, I don't understand why I would do that?This is an issue of the ages. There's a great book on it by Mary beard called 'women and power' or similar. Historically womens speech, both public and private has been policed at least since medieval times. Wives could be put into a kind of stock and publically ridiculed for 'nagging'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 05:35 AM |
| 2 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?Hmm. Well you know not all relationships work out and it doesn't have to be because they are a flaming dumpster fire. You have the right to say its not for you despite him being a person you like and respect. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?how old are you? I stayed 15 years with a man who was stable but ultimately I wasn't really attracted to because it felt safe and predictable. I was miserable for about 7 of those. That's not to say you won't actually be happy with him but....realistically you're more likely to just feel....tolerable with him | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?Being worried or afraid that you'll not find anyone else is not a reason to choose him. That's just settling. Honestly I can promise you that long term, a relationship that doesn't fulfill you is far worse than being on your own | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?What's normal really? I know several women who settled for a predictable choice that didn't excite them. For some it suits and for others it was a big mistake. I guess you have to be very honest with yourself. Can you really do this through marriage and children? Will you be happy? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?yes but....fear is not a reason to make this choice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:03 PM |
| 4 | Just found out ex is already in new relationship with a girl he always claimed was just a friend .He's one of those men that goes cruising ex's the second a relationship is rocky or close to the end which makes him a validation junkie. Pity her. He won't change | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:01 PM |
| 2 | How deal with the fear of never meeting someone?You are not too old to take a break and be by yourself for a while trust me. In fact I'd wager if you don't take a break and end up in another relationship you'll regret not taking time to do precisely as you please. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 05:46 AM |
| 2 | Does anyone know about how childhood trauma can affect sexual attraction?A piece of advice I saw recently from a therapist was that those who have traumatic backgrounds can mistakenly interpret chaotic/toxic situations as sexual chemistry. Healthy romantic connections can feel 'dull'. Google CPTSD | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 05:35 AM |
| 28 | Groundbreaking research. Your partner wants to have sex with you when you show them you appreciate them. What's next florals in spring?An ex boyfriend of mine characterised it as: Men have sex to create intimacy, women only want sex if they feel intimate. Which was very emotionally aware of him however he never understood how to do the appreciating and intimacy generating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 05:14 AM |
| 6 | It is not our jobs to make better boyfriends out of bums.Tell you what I had a man like that in my life. He started doing it quickly and carried on. Before I knew it he was all over my business and it was too much. Its like he gave and then felt entitled to an opinion on how I live, who my friends were etc. I broke it off and he harassed me. Called me a narc. Etc. Whats wrong with men | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 07:16 PM |
| 41 | What in the hell? "These hoes ain't loyal", my ass! LVM ain't sh*t.Just read mumsnet for 5 minutes. Men who 'would never do X' 'have been amazing for 20 years' walk out on marriages, get cold feet when a woman is gravely ill, visiting prostitutes. Etc. There's definitely a thing around middle age. The one aspect of fds I'm not all in on is marriage. It's not a guarantee of a man no matter how well behaved he is initially. Always store money. Never rely on him financially (entirely). He will not care if he decides to whip it out from under you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 11:11 PM |
| 3 | I literally posted a book about myself on another dating sub. All my likes and “seeking”s. Like no less than 6 *paragraphs* He could not be bothered to read any of it and then flew off the handle when he got called on it. I fear for his twins tbh. This is now my early weed-out question.I once got a vacuum for my birthday. We are no longer together | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Ways of SeeingThe book is a treasure! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 04:39 AM |
| 5 | That sick SOABNo idea but it's not our problem. If I decide I'm out. I'm out on every single platform and I do it before 8am so they cant contact me through any other means. They wake up and that's that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 07:23 PM |
| 3 | Guys who ask to be FWBs while expecting the girl to see no one else. Be careful of these types out there ladies, especially if you’re young or working on becoming more assertive.Yeah I had a couple of FWB's post-seperation that worked on my terms and like you I laid out the groundwork about expectations upfront. It's quite odd because one of them was someone who on paper was perfect to date, but for whatever reason I just didn't feel an attachment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 04:58 AM |
| 7 | Guys who ask to be FWBs while expecting the girl to see no one else. Be careful of these types out there ladies, especially if you’re young or working on becoming more assertive.Except there must be women going for it How else are they having 'options' with this attitude. Depressingly a male friend of mine is in a 'situation' with a girl he's neither here nor there about. He was round helping me in the garden and she sent a selfie. He looked at it, didnt reply and carried on digging. I said 'she will see you've seen that. Reply to her'. Him: I'll get back to her later. After that his phone kept going off. It was her, sending more selfies, seeking validation. I told him … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 09:36 PM |
| 3 | Big Yikes 😳I want REVIEWS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 09:08 PM |
| 1 | He made a lot of points even for hetero girls 😂 “who would want to be attracted to walking trash!”The lesbians they slept with- who knows. But that was what they did | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 07:29 PM |
| 1 | He made a lot of points even for hetero girls 😂 “who would want to be attracted to walking trash!”No I mean radical feminists during the 70s / 80s despite being attracted only to men swore off them and only slept with women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 07:29 PM |
| 20 | Big Yikes 😳There's a thing called 'prick advisor' in the UK..not sure in the US? Anyway it's generally local fb groups where OLD filth and their details/crimes against womanity are posted | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 07:27 PM |
| 18 | He made a lot of points even for hetero girls 😂 “who would want to be attracted to walking trash!”There are political lesbians | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 09:32 PM |
| 3 | For those of you who are spiritual, have you ever felt like the entrance of a (lvm) man in your life has almost literally disturbed your spirit?No! Not yet at least but it's on my list | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 03:25 AM |
| 5 | For those of you who are spiritual, have you ever felt like the entrance of a (lvm) man in your life has almost literally disturbed your spirit?The experience with one person that eventually led me here was the same thing. I would for no obvious reason I could figure out just get up out of his bed after he fell asleep and drive home. I would sometimes feel too alarmed and unsettled around him but there was no big reason where I could say 'it was X'. Actually there were several little tells looking back. One for example.....my toothbrush suddenly disappearing from its place in his toothbrush holder. Later i found out he was actively onli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/20 10:18 PM |
| 1 | Is he playing me?Any man in his 40s+ who consistently talks to women a decade or more younger than him is LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/20 06:00 AM |
| 2 | When a man wants you, he’ll let you knowGood stuff! As I say, we are somewhat trained to 'understand'. But it is categorically not any of our jobs to edit our own needs for the comfort of someone else | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 01:56 PM |
| 6 | When a man wants you, he’ll let you knowAs women we are trained to have an almost pathological need to 'understand' and empathise. You also have to ask yourself are you placing this on aspergers because disinterest is a sting? Looking at it objectively, if you listed out the traits you would like in a partner- would disinterest be on it? Whatever the reason for the disinterest, would that be what you want? I'm going to assume 'no'. So do not entertain this person. It's not your job to edit your own needs to meet someone elses capacity… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/20 06:19 AM |
| 5 | Single Mom in the pandemicI had my daughter 14 days at the start (self isolating) - he did not once ask to speak to her. Genuinely unbelievable from the men at the worst time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 09:25 PM |
| 3 | Single Mom in the pandemicI'm here with you. Her dad does take her but he's used this pandemic to start using leverage against me. Because hes a class act obviously | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 09:23 PM |
| 3 | POST YOUR BLOCK LISTSThat doesnt stop them from seeing when you are currently online on whatsapp I'm afraid. It just doesnt show a timestamp. Unless you have blocked them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Here's a great(and fun) way to out filter men, that me and my friends have tried and has been proven accurate*herman | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 07:37 AM |
| 4 | Here's a great(and fun) way to out filter men, that me and my friends have tried and has been proven accurateAny man who likes German Hesse's 'Siddartha'. Swear to god is emotionally avoidant | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 07:36 AM |
| 6 | POST YOUR BLOCK LISTSI do the same. Block for a few weeks then remove and delete the number. Sadly some of them will notice on whatsapp that you are 'online ' which means they are not blocked.....yeah some of em know that and will check | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 07:06 AM |
| 10 | Beware the male feministFeminist reader -> treats women like library books. Can confirm. One fuckboy in disguise slept with a copy of 'the second sex' next to his bed. The other more covert enjoyed womens 'company' over mens and talked up his previous feminist girlfriends. Same story | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 06:36 AM |
| 22 | It seems like men will only settle down with someone who’s absolutely perfect, and I don’t have the energy anymore.This is the truth. I read a study, a while ago, about men dating and their readiness for marriage. It was a combo of career situation, and being 'tired of dating' - read getting rejections | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 06:28 AM |
| 8 | Treat her right = get in her pants, i.e. coercion rape!Omitting information, lying, to get a woman into bed removes her right to make an informed choice. Dupes her into sex she would not normally have consented to. It's not rape but its rapey. Most women have been raped. I have. I see the connection | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/20 12:26 AM |
| 3 | Don’t explain why you’re leaving. Just leave. He doesn’t care and it gasses him up to know he upset you. Literally ghost him from your life for maximum damage potential and move the fuck on.I've flat out ghosted before and left unblocked and yes they just keep coming back seeking answers and getting desperate. My issue with it is if you dont have great practise with boundaries theres a temptation to engage if they trigger you or to feel bad about ignoring. If you're good at that then crack on. If you waste time wondering about these things or feeling bad....its not ideal (for me anyway) I've done ghost and block and they will find other avenues and the same temptation arises. So re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 06:44 AM |
| 36 | Friendly reminder to block and delete in these troubling times, ladiesYep they will be back. I've blocked all. Surely you can just block him now though? You dont need a reason | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 06:29 PM |
| 41 | Mark is hardworking and straightforward ladies! He wants a woman who values all this effort and hard work he’s is putting into communication😂😂He values YOUR effort. YOUR communication. Saves him all the bother. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 04:45 PM |
| 35 | Mark is hardworking and straightforward ladies! He wants a woman who values all this effort and hard work he’s is putting into communication😂😂Whatever a man says on his profile. The opposite | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 04:44 PM |
| 15 | Dating: when I was single amount of times a guy would 'schedule' a date but not follow up was incredible. Low effort and not worthy of a second chance.These men are not worth it. I had it with someone, I didn't turn up to the date and they texted with 'I'm here, where are you?'. Not there pal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 04:42 PM |
| 11 | I(25F) just want to know why he(29M) lost interest in me after a couple of monthsFirst you delete everything. Just swallow your regrets and do it. Cut him out of your phone and your life entirely. No looking back. Once you remove the option to keep contact running, your brain quickly realises the option for 'closure' is gone and it lets go much faster. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 03:18 PM |
| 5 | We need a sub called "Am I With An Asshole".A place where the correct answer will be 'yes' 90% of the time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 02:55 PM |
| 13 | If you agree to have a casual sexual relationship with a man, he will NEVER see you more than a sex partner. No matter how "cute" or "romantic" he seems to be. When he gets tired of you, he'll discard you ASAP. His feelings will NEVER change.I'm the same. No amount of orgasms will make me more interested in a man than I would be without them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 06:33 AM |
| 3 | If your gut is telling you something might be off with him, something is off.Every. Thing. was a lie. It was like wheels within wheels. And gradually I had no idea what was up or down any more | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 04:01 PM |
| 3 | It's over.Sorry that you're hurting, it really is a painful thing to go through and obvs he's not made this easy by telling you he still loves you. I think part of the issue is theory vs practical reality...what does it really mean to walk away? How do you manage the inevitable feelings? I found it useful to get through an hour - get through an hour without contacting or replying. Then make it through another hour. Aim for 72 hours. If you can get through that - get through the next 72 hours and so on. Th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 10:03 AM |
| 10 | If your gut is telling you something might be off with him, something is off.Get rid. Immediately. I had this once with someone. I was right but because I initially didn't understand this urgent feeling of emergency I ignored it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 09:48 AM |
| 7 | Stop the presses, ladies, this divorced bald man has advice!.3 presumably- abandon your children? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 10:47 PM |
| 2 | Friendships Between Men And WomenIt's possible. I have 2 really good male friends. We were all in relationships when we first started working together. Fate meant we all ended up single years later. Would never occur to any of us to have tried a move. They're like my brothers. Helped me do up my house. Helped me move house. Helped me get new job roles. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 06:48 PM |
| 21 | Half of you don't seem to understand what it means to be a Queen, or, The Qualities of QueendomWell, you wouldn't do it to bag a man right? It's for your own self gratification entirely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/20 04:45 PM |
| 6 | Why do exes offer us friendship?I can say now in my early 40s that's not strictly true. I've ended up with 2 HVM friends I've known 10+ years. Never been into them nor they me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/20 08:35 AM |
| 3 | Picking up my things from my cheating boyfriend's house. Ideas for how to revenge as my last goodbye?Revenge is a dish best served in a way that never tracks back to you. The favourite among my female friends was done to a husband who cheated. Get a small fine pair of scissors and with all of his trousers - go in and subtly undermine the stitching around the crotch/bum area. They wont fail immediately but they will all at some point fail | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 06:56 AM |
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