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I_can_get_loud_too Archive

View 0 posts and 148 comments by I_can_get_loud_too on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I think this puts too much emphasis on personality when most people of both genders date for physical attraction. A tall and athletic and conventionally attractive man with autism or a mental illness will still have much better luck in the dating market than a short or conventionally unattractive man. A petite slender woman who’s conventionally attractive will usually have an easier time on the dating market regardless of personality as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:22 PM
–

I think most people regardless of gender mainly focus on looks / physical attraction when selecting a partner, and when we are attracted to someone physically we tend to put up with a lot of mistreatment. Both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 09:28 AM
4

I was raised by a single dad. Back in high school he saw me get stood up for homecoming (he bought me a nice dress and everything and my date never showed up), and go to both proms with platonic friends. He asked me if for real no one asked me to prom and I told him no, and I think from then on he just sort of understood I have trouble with dating for whatever reason. As an adult, he’s seen me be abused by every man and woman I’ve ever dated as well, so I think he just wants me to stay single no…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 08:07 AM
2

No. I think most women are interested in looks/physical attraction as mainly the only thing that matters to us and then we use other things to justify. Like if a guy is tall and hot (I hate that we do this but it’s human nature we all do it) I’ll find a way to rationalize liking his interests but if he’s short or not attractive I’ll find reasons to dislike them. For example my ex husband was a Yankees fan and I had a no Yankees fan policy because my family is from the Boston area and I was alway…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:40 AM
2

I’m not engaging in pre martial sex. I’m hoping to marry someone with a similar sex drive and hope to find someone who can communicate about that during the dating period.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 06:56 AM
16

I’m a woman and I feel the same. I keep finding people whose sex drive is way lower than mine so I’ve tried to date younger guys thinking our sex drives will be more aligned but i haven’t had too much luck with that either. Very transactional as OP mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 01:55 AM
2

I literally never get approached by any men at all in the wild whatsoever, whether I’m attracted to them or not lol. I think most people are just on their phones a lot and don’t tend to approach people that much anymore. I’ve noticed women doing it a lot more though than men the last few years, but still it’s not that common. People are just so buried in their smartphones. But I think apps like Bumble have made more women get used to making the first move because I definitely see that a lot more…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 08:10 AM
3

This has been my experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 06:06 AM
1

I’m not pursuing anyone lol. If I meet someone organically who I feel a spark with or am attracted to then I would ask them out but at this time I’m not actively seeking anything unless it happens organically.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 04:53 AM
5

Yes. I’ve definitely noticed the females in my social circle approaching more men and encouraging me to approach more men since men don’t approach women in the wild anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 01:56 AM
5

They can be like me and just do radical acceptance and opt out of trying haha. It doesn’t make men bad if they don’t want marriage, I just politely tell them that I’m only looking for marriage and not hookups or casual things and we go our separate ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 09:04 PM
5

I’m in this boat. I’ve just completely given up. I want to be married but men don’t seem interested in marriage and rather than beg a guy to be with me like I always did in the past I’ve just given up. I always say yes to date requests but am not going to continue going out of my way to chase people since it never ends well for me. If someone wants to be with me awesome, if not that’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess. Can’t force anyone to be with me which I’ve accepted. I’ve always been a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:56 PM
1

I’ve experienced this as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:29 AM
-2

This has been my experience as well, agree with everything you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:27 AM
1

I would say there is a lack of men who are interested in marriage and serious relationships and many who prefer to just stay single or have casual sex only.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 07:53 PM
1

I really wish Reddit still had awards for posts like this. Gold medal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:08 AM
16

I wish I could upvote this ten million times. My thoughts exactly. I’m not sure if guys want women to date them out of pity if they aren’t attracted, but when one person isn’t attracted for whatever reason it’s best to just move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:39 PM
1

I guess that’s just biology unfortunately. I know I’ve tried to find a romantic spark with people I haven’t been physically attracted to since I liked their personality, and I just couldn’t force it despite trying my best. I’d love to be attracted to a wider range of people, but I don’t know if we can fight biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:30 PM
1

Yes it’s extremely pervasive. It’s happened to me and every woman I’ve ever met and most of them multiple times. A lot of men do this. You can check out the dead bedrooms forum, it’s about 50% women posting that their husbands are withholding sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:20 PM
1

I’ve never had sex outside of marriage so I’ve never “gone home and sleep with” anyone who I wasn’t already married to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:16 PM
1

I’m starting to think a majority of men genuinely have cluster b issues and its concerning me. I’m getting comfier and comfier in my forever alone status by the day because I refuse to be abused again and every man I’ve ever been with was abusive. And I’m 35 and have been dating since I was 12. And I’m conventionally attractive, college educated, and the men who are physically attractive to me have all turned out to be abusive. Since I can’t force myself to be attracted to someone, I’m just tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:38 PM
3

This is so common to the point where literally every single woman who I’ve met both online and in real life with a high sex drive says men abuse her and withhold sex for emotional abuse to the point where I’m genuinely convinced all abusive men do this. I know not all men are abusive! But I’m convinced the abusive ones all do prey on women with high sex drives to “knock us down” a few pegs and put us in our place. I’m guessing psychologically it’s fulfilling for them to deny us sex to take out s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:28 PM
4

I’m not sure if this is anecdotal or truly an issue that everyone experiences, but as a woman with a high sex drive, I’ve always ended up with abusive men who take advantage of it and withhold sex as a power move, and I’ve noticed all my female friends with high sex drives also tend to end up with men with cluster b disorders who withhold sex as a weapon / emotional abuse. I don’t know if it’s that men just hate women with high sex drives because it goes against the narrative society taught them…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 04:42 PM
2

I really wish Reddit still allowed awards so I could give this a gold medal. I know we aren’t allowed to “circle jerk” and just say like upvote times a million, but this has really truly been my experience as well and the experience of all my female friends, and I’m really confused how these untrue narratives that are so out of touch with reality persist.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 04:39 PM
4

I’m honestly confused why anyone thinks looks don’t matter to women or where this idea came from - maybe Hollywood movies that show women with men who are not conventionally attractive? In real life all the women I know and myself care about looks and won’t date a man we aren’t attracted to. This narrative about women not caring about looks is very curious to me because it’s just not something I’ve ever observed to be true in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 04:36 PM
1

I think a lot of people feel this way about most traits, bisexuality being one of them, but won’t be honest about it. Most women just want a conventionally attractive guy, and will make a lot of nonsense up in our minds to justify whether we like his other traits or not. Because I’ve thought guys being bisexual was both a turn on and a turn off, and I had to analyze why. And I think this is the heart of it. So no, I’m literally just answering OPs question with the truth and the why of it. I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 11:52 AM
1

Probably gonna get downvoted for being honest but whatever. If a guy is physically attractive enough and tall enough (my two big things that I really look for, as opposed to money or income as this sub wrongly assumes) then any additional traits I’ll probably have a skewed opinion either positive or negative based on how tall and physically attractive the guy is. So if a guy is over 6’ and has a nice body and a good head of hair and I’m really into him, and he says he’s bisexual, my brain will b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:54 AM
2

I have observed this as well and think this is definitely true. I’ve especially noticed it in heterosexual relationships when the man is the younger person and the woman is older. I think this is what happened with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher also. I think it played a big role in my ex husband devaluing and discarding me as well (he was 7 years younger). But maybe this happens to everyone and it’s not just an age thing, a lot of people put the person they’re dating or married to on a pedestal …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:15 PM
1

This is what I have observed with people in my life at this age as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:11 PM
3

Lot of good comments here. I’d argue that divorce is probably more common amongst celebrities simply because they both have the financial ability to go out on their own. A lot of couples stay together just because they financially could not maintain that standard of living on one income. A wealthy person doesn’t have that concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:08 PM
7

As someone whose been divorced twice and seen every single couple I know in my family and friend group also get divorced, this is spot on accurate. Every single word. Not all couples will have all of these issues, but all couples will have at least one of them, and one little thing can be enough when you’re stressed from life / getting older / have the responsibilities of adulthood / parenthood / being in the workforce. Life is very complicated and stressful and there’s a million ways to piss so…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:07 PM
2

I have not experienced this myself. I think this may be an issue where it’s correlation does not equal causation. If a guy has a lot of women buzzing around him at any given time he probably has things that are attractive: maybe he’s tall, good looking, has a good career of access to fun things like maybe he has a beach house or Disneyland passes or something else cool to bring to the relationship that brings women around. I think a lot of women look for the same things (tall, good looking, good…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 04:59 AM
2

I would think it’s equal. No human of either gender likes feeling like we’re not good enough for the partner or person we desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 04:53 AM
25

I would agree with all of this especially number one and two, from a woman’s perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 04:53 AM
1

I’m a woman and I’ve never turned a guy down for a second date. Men have turned me down for a second date. If i like a guy enough to go on a first date with him, I’ll usually give it at least 3 dates for chemistry to develop. The only time I’ve not wanted a second date it was mutual and they didn’t want one either and blocked me, so I’ve never had this situation come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 04:52 AM
1

I’m a bisexual woman aged 35 for whatever that’s worth Hair color: Don’t care 2: Eye Color: Don’t care 3: Height: for men over 6’, for women under 5’6” 4: Build: thin or muscular or a little chubby 5: Earnings: don’t care but if they don’t earn enough to ever travel or take vacations that will weigh on me eventually 6: job: don’t care 7: people they dated: don’t care 8: people they slept with: don’t care 9: religion: Christian or Jewish 10: sexuality: straight or bisexual for guys, bisexual or l…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 11:10 PM
2

I agree completely. Someone who has these urges but is able to go to therapy or anger management and work on them and get them under control shows signs of emotional strength and maturity. So I agree if it happens once or twice but the person actively makes lifestyle changes and works on themselves - that’s really good. So I’m not ruling out all men with anger management issues. But having those issues and not working on them and not improving is a sign of weakness to me, an emotional weakness o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:39 PM
2

Physical violence / a guy who breaks things or throws things when he gets upset. Think Roy from the Office when Pam broke up with him the second time and he went to go attack Jim. Major ick/huge weakness. My ex husband was like that and he was a 10/10 in physical attractiveness, tall, muscular, book smart, but as soon as the violent side came out I would get really turned off. For both men and women, it’s definitely a sign of weakness when someone can’t control their anger to the point when they…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 10:18 AM
20

Don’t assume all women in their 30s and 40s want casual sex just because they’re divorced. Myself and everyone in my circle who fits that profile all are looking for a life partner and only want something serious. I’m very open minded on the age of my partner, but won’t settle for a one night stand; same with every female I know. A lot of women of all ages are just not interested in casual sex. If we can’t find a serious relationship, we would rather just be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:24 PM
2

This is exactly what I came here to say but you put it exactly as I would have put it and I completely agree with and second this. I think many women would agree with this sentiment. Money is great but being with someone you aren’t attracted to is a special kind of hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:24 AM
1

Not everyone who has a high sex drive acts on it. Some of us who have a high sex drive also have realized through past experiences that having casual sex or having sex outside of a committed relationship makes us feel awful inside, unaliving fuel if you will. So despite it being my greatest physical need, I’m not going to willingly place myself in a scenario where I give someone the power to break my heart so easily. I know that I can’t do it without emotional attachment, even though the physica…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 07:33 PM
1

I think a lot of people of both genders “dating assholes” or “dating crazy girls” or “dating unsafe guys” comes down to the fact that many people of both sides put on a good mask in the beginning of the relationship and in the courting / wooing phase, sometimes people behave in ways that are so different from their normal personality. A lot of people of both genders “act perfect” in the beginning - and one example of that could be acting safe and protective. But then a lot of times once people “…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 07:11 PM
1

I’m gonna say this is fairly true. I’m a woman and if I see an attractive man I’ll usually smile at him and usually he will approach me. When guys approach me if it’s not someone I’ve already made eye contact with, that usually means I’m not interested. However that’s only when it comes to dating or like at a bar. In regular social settings like work or school, I’m always super happy to be approached by anyone of any gender because making platonic friends in the wild is hard for all of us in thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:49 AM
2

I think about this all the time. It’s kind of like on The Office when Michael asked Stanley what would happen if he had a heart attack when he was alone. Stanley: “I would die.” Michael: “And you’re okay with that?” Stanley: “I’m okay with the logic of it.” That’s how I feel about living alone for the rest of my life. I don’t like it, but, I’m in a state of acceptance with the logic of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:30 AM
1

I feel like I’m going to get trolled regardless of what I answer to this to the point that there’s nothing valuable that I can add here. I have pictures on the links in my profile 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:16 PM
4

I promise you this is impossible. I did 8 years of intense therapy and found God during my dead bedroom marriage, and all it did was give me the strength to finally be honest and leave the person I wasn’t attracted to so we could both try to find better matches for ourselves. The healthier emotionally that someone gets, the less likely they are to stay with someone out of pity who they aren’t physically attracted to. Despite how painful it is to be single, anyone who has done all the deep intros…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:59 AM
1

This is the answer, yes. You can force yourself to enjoy being around someone to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. You can’t force yourself to love someone or be attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:11 AM
6

Exactly, but they’d probably be fantasizing about someone else if they had an orgasm for this dude. You can pay people to spend time with you, you can’t pay them to love or be attracted to you regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:11 AM
1

I think winning lottery just increases your chance at having the company you desire, it won’t make you a better lover. You can get anyone you want to go on a cruise to Hawaii with you for example if you pay for them, and you can enjoy their company and go to shows with them and wine and dine them, but if they’re not physically attracted to you, the sex isn’t going to happen and if the woman feels like she has to force herself to have sex with you, then that’s a huge turn off emotionally for the …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:09 AM
1

Are you in a small town? No shade, genuinely curious if that’s what’s creating this discrepancy in our experiences. 99.9% of the men I’ve met in both LA and NYC have told me they don’t want relationships. And easier said than done to move away from those cities when your job isn’t remote and tied to one of them and you don’t have money saved up to move.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:47 PM
1

Thank you friend 💕
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:30 PM
2

This is true and not because women or anyone else are inherently gold diggers. It’s because travel and vacations (holidays as they’re called in the UK) bring true happiness and unparalleled joy. My greatest moments in life have all been from travel.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 09:55 PM
2

You hit the nail on the head with the lifestyle comment. It’s not the money itself - it’s the idea of the freedom from being a slave to capitalism that turns a lot of people on.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 09:54 PM
2

100%
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 08:40 PM
1

Amazing post! Please take poor woman’s gold since it won’t let us buy any more coins. 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:22 PM
2

Me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:20 PM
2

USA
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:38 AM
8

Giving someone I’m not interested in my phone number isn’t sympathy. In the case of an LGBTQIA+ woman, as I already said, I will ask if she wants to be platonic friends because I’m interested in meeting more platonic LGBTQIA+ friends. If she says no, that would be the end of that regardless. And if a man I’m not interested in approaches me but we have something in common (such as we’re both fans of the same sports team), then I’ll be honest and say I’m not interested romantically but ask if he w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 12:41 AM
6

I actually have a policy to literally never turn down a first date from anyone. If i REALLY don’t think it’s a match, I will let them know and be up front and say, “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m attracted to you in that way and don’t know if it would build and don’t want you to waste time or money on me.” Because I have no desire to lead anyone on or mislead people. I also make sure they know I don’t kiss or have sex on a first date and I am super honest about that BEFORE we go on the date. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 11:50 PM
1

I think we’re getting super deep into the semantics here. I think if anyone of any gender or any sexual orientation is dating anyone for any period of time and gets ghosted the day after sex with no explanation, they will feel tricked / deceived. I suppose you can go deep into the semantics and dictionary definitions to invalidate that if that fulfills you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:52 PM
1

You said in an earlier comment, “It's totally possible that he was interested in a committed relationship until he realized he wasn't sexually compatible with her.” That answers your own question. If the man in this hypothetical scenario that seems pretty unlikely / uncommon genuinely felt this way, then he should break up properly and not ghost.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:40 PM
3

That’s fair. As sex is part of the package in a relationship for many individuals, I was merely answering OP’s question about how men deceive women into sex. If they know they can only get sex in a relationship, many men deceive women into the relationship for sex. The entire relationship, sex included, becomes deception when the guy ghosts the next day.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:34 PM
10

Literally every woman I know has gone through this multiple times. It’s extremely common.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:32 PM
6

The “deceived/tricked” part comes into play with the ghosting. By telling a woman (or any human really) that you want to have a long term relationship with her, it implies that you will be a decent human being to them and break up properly and not ghost. I think it’s the common phenomenon of being ghosted right after, versus even receiving a breakup text, that makes women feel so deceived.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:30 PM
67

I don’t want to be devil’s advocate here, because I find this really interesting and enjoyed the perspective and do overall think most men don’t understand how women’s brains work. However, I do have to say that I think if a woman is not physically attractive to a man, he might not feel arousal from the start or even be willing to go on a date with her or kiss her. So I have to wonder if this entire post needs the context of, this only applies to physically attractive women. I’ve heard a lot of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:23 PM
-5

Women are more generous in general, meaning they will be more attentive to men’s needs in general throughout the entire relationship. As stated above, gifts are one of my love languages and words of affirmation are not. I couldn’t care less who says I love you first. The second article he provided is obscure and talks a lot about “love at first sight,” which we can all agree is not necessarily romantic but more so delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:16 PM
13

I am not interested in hooking up or casual dating, so I don’t think our definitions of success are similar at all, so any answer I provide will likely just be taken out of context. I’d say I’m equally unsuccessful with both in terms of finding a happy marriage and long term partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:04 PM
7

Define “success.”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:00 PM
0

And I can easily counter that with: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3873259/ https://www.businessinsider.com/new-research-shows-women-are-more-generous-than-men-2017-10?amp As someone whose love languages are physical touch and gifts, and not words of affirmation, I don’t care who says I love you first. Romance is not one single action. It’s many different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:59 PM
-2

Can you provide some evidence and scientific studies to back up your claim that most romantic gestures are initiated by men? If we’re just going by anecdotal experience, then I can easily say that in every heterosexual couple I’ve ever known and been a part of, the women initiated many more romantic gestures and the man almost none. With no evidence to back up your claim, we all just have our personal experiences to go by and there’s no valid argument on either sides here. For what it’s worth, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:48 PM
28

Let me try to provide a completely different perspective that I think is missing from your story. As a bisexual woman who is pretty much a “50/50” bisexual who would be open to marry a woman or a man, my theoretical pool of men to choose from who won’t reject me based on my gender alone is somewhere around 90%. That doesn’t mean 90% of men will be into me, but that they won’t reject me based on my gender / body parts alone. My pool is theoretically available women is maybe about 10%, maybe even …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:43 PM
15

A lot of men will start dating a woman, say he is looking for his future wife, call her his girlfriend, and say they are exclusive. Then when they have sex, the next day he ghosts her and she never hears from him again, even if they have been dating exclusively for weeks or months. It’s very common. Literally every single woman I’ve ever met has been through this multiple times. It happens to both conventionally pretty girls, “ugly” or not conventionally attractive girls, and everyone in between…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:33 PM
3

As women we are socialized to “keep sweet” and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, we are accused of being aggressive, hostile, and masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:08 PM
9

I’m a woman who is honest that looks are the most important thing to me, and people just insult me and call me shallow and don’t appreciate the honesty. So I understand why women try to deceive themselves into thinking otherwise. Men are not kind to women who are honest, especially not on Reddit or online dating. But even in person, a lot of men don’t want to hear honesty. A lot of men also get angry that some women feel this way, and then project really nasty vile things like, “well if looks is…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:21 PM
0

And even when they do, women know how to take no for an answer better. As a bisexual woman who has dated men and women, I have had unwelcome sexual advances from both. However, when I gently push a woman away and say, “no, I’m not ready,” the women respect me and stop trying 100% of the time in my experience. They sometimes will verbally express their disappointment and say something like “damn I thought I was getting lucky tonight” or “come on, are you sure?” But physically, they back off and r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:51 PM
8

I wish Reddit would let us buy some more coins and give awards because I want to give this a gold medal. You covered all the points and I have nothing to add. But, this, this, a million times this. 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:47 PM
6

A 2009 study showed that men leave much more often when the woman is the one who is sick, and that women usually stay when the man is sick. “Among study participants, the divorce rate was 21 percent for seriously ill women and 3 percent for seriously ill men.” https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm#:~:text=Why%20men%20leave%20a%20sick,family%2C%20the%20study%20authors%20said. https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/30/the-men-who-give-up-on-their-spouses-when-th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:32 PM
5

I’m not sure where you’re meeting women who are “not ready to openly talk about their personality and their actual wants” but myself and every woman I know is ready to openly talk about those things and not afraid to do soon. Maybe your standards for women are just too low or maybe you are having bad luck and just choosing really immature women who are outside of normal standard behavior for most people. I always reiterate to any man or woman who asks me out on a date that I am not interested in…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:25 PM
3

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 Wow, I REALLY wish Reddit would let us buy more coins so I could award this a gold medal. This right here! Maybe not every single word, but, pretty much this. My gay best friend (who is extremely attractive; super-modelesque, and can pretty much get any gay guy he wants) ALWAYS tells me this phenomenon exists in the gay community too; so it seems to just be a “dating men” problem, not a heterosexual (or bisexual) woman’s dating men problem. We (those of us of either gender who are sexually…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:07 PM
4

Neither, it was much more of a grey area / middle ground. We had to live together still for about 2 years due to being financially dependent on each other and neither of us having any family support and both being low income earners, so we went to couples counseling to try to figure out how to live together platonically since the homeless shelter would have been the only other option for either of us. It was a dead bedroom the entire marriage. It was extremely uncomfortable for both of us but we…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:13 PM
5

Yes. I can’t speak for his feelings, only my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:04 PM
9

I completely agree with you and spent a lot of time hating myself over it. That’s why I share my experience to try to warn other people who want to attempt this that it may not work out for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:56 AM
9

Yes. If I could take it back I would, but live and learn. I share my experience to try to warn others about what can happen. I don’t doubt that some people perhaps can grow to be attracted to someone - everyone’s different and I can only speak from personal experience, but I’m sure there are others like me out there. I truly gave it my best shot. His personality was attractive and there was an emotional attraction, so based on all the Hollywood movies where the girl marries the “ugly” guy, I tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:36 AM
9

As the original post said, I wasn’t having any luck getting a man I was attracted to to marry me, and wanted to try to see if I could be happy with a nice man even though I wasn’t physically attracted to him. I thought I might “grow to be attracted to him” over time due to his nice personality. I gave it my best shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:06 AM
2

Thanks for this post. A lot of good points here. I’m a woman and I’ve been the higher sex drive person in every relationship I’ve ever had. A lot of women have high sex drives.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:15 AM
11

I appreciate the lack of judgement. Definitely enjoy coming here when people can have honest discussions. When people get downvoted or have mean comments made at them just for being honest it makes other posters probably afraid to answer honestly, which isn’t good for anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:01 AM
8

You don’t have to think anything, I was just giving an honest answer to OP’s question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 05:59 AM
7

Yes. No, not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 05:55 AM
18

Why the eye roll when I answered your question openly and honestly?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:25 AM
10

As someone who stayed in a marriage with a man I was not attracted to for 8 years, all of this. It was 8 years of dead bedroom and didn’t end well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:21 AM
17

Yes. I was married to a “nice guy” who I wasn’t physically attracted to for 8 years. I just couldn’t make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:19 AM
1

This is me except with a high sex drive and extroverted rather than loner but happy to be around platonic friends if I can’t find a partner. I’d prefer to be with a partner but not to the point where I can lower my standards of what’s attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:07 AM
2

Why are people downvoting this? She’s being honest. Do you guys want honesty or lies?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:05 AM
1

Thank you, sorry for misunderstanding there!!! I agree with you completely 💕
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 12:00 PM
1

OP didn’t ask about if life is fair or not. OP asked what physical characteristics make me lust after a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 11:46 AM
1

No one ever asks me out on a second date so I’m not sure how to answer your hypothetical question
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 10:12 AM
1

It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 09:55 AM
2

My thing is that I’m open to poly so he’s free to fuck as many women as he wants whenever he wants and I’ll be loyal to him but I am not sleeping with a man whose not my husband. If that means I’m single forever then so be it. I’m not compromising my personal values.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 09:42 AM
1

Standards are low for those of us who want marriage because most men don’t want to get married so if I keep my standards high I’ll be alone forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 08:14 AM
1

Hell yeah. The abuse was really bad. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:03 AM
1

Yes he had BPD
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:58 AM
3

Yeah, I absolutely can. I have dated a range between 5’4” and 6’4” and they’re all completely different. I even noticed a huge difference between my ex-husband who is 6’1” and my ex-boyfriend who is 6’4”. Even just an inch really is like night and day.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:44 AM
2

Yeah, for me those are the two things that really catch my eye. I have to say I don’t really give a damn about body type or facial features for the most part and I couldn’t care less about race or skin color which I know are deal breakers for other people, so I guess we just all have our own different preferences of what we care about and what we don’t care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:39 AM
0

Someone else asked and I already answered. Read the thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:35 AM
2

Again, OP asked what makes me feel lust, not what’s a common trait that men have lol. I was answering the question as honestly as possible. After height, a full head of hair is my second biggest turn on. I also do tend to like much younger guys. I’m one of those people who always sees someone how they looked when I first met them though, so I know if I found a man who I was attracted to now I wouldn’t lose attraction if he lost his hair down the road - I literally somehow always see people the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:34 AM
3

I’ve been almost exclusively always ghosted by guys and some girls after the first date. I think in my case it’s because I am dating with the intention of marriage, and I have an unfortunate predisposition to being attracted to men who only want sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:18 AM
1

Nope I am white American and extremely fair skinned actually. I look extremely similar to my avatar.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 05:50 AM
1

I’m fine with this and have always felt this way but think men need to learn how to be polyamorous better. I commend you for posting about this though. This is the stuff I’d like to post but I get downvoted to hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 05:47 AM
2

Thank you my knight in shining armor 💕
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:33 AM
1

No it’s just what I’m physically attracted to. Has nothing to do with my dad. I’ve tried to date shorter guys and I don’t feel attracted to them physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:19 AM
4

The logic is probably that a taller man makes me feel more feminine and protected and that’s probably something passed down from the caveman days? I’m not a scientist was just being honest and answering the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:13 AM
3

OP’s question was what makes me feel lust, not “logic.”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:10 AM
6

Thank you! I see no reason why internet strangers should have any reason to lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:03 AM
6

I feel like geographically / what you’re used to or what you’ve seen before has a lot to do with it, but for me personally, I honestly have always been open to date people of all races. however, I have noticed that it’s mostly white and Hispanic men that seem to ask me out. I’ve asked out several Black guys and they’ve all turned me down. I’m sure that’s anecdotal but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I didn’t get extra nervous and pretty sure I’m gonna be rejected now whenever I approach a …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:39 AM
3

I’m not 100% sure what a post hoc rationalization is (I googled it and am still having trouble understanding and can’t find a layman’s terms definition cause I’m a dumb blonde lol) but I thought he was saying that I’m self aware and maybe other women rationalize why they like height and I just felt like I didn’t need a reason I just like what I like?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:22 AM
1

Thank you friend 💕 I see no reason to lie on an anonymous Internet forum. We’re all here to try to help each other understand the opposite sex so why be anything other than completely honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:13 AM
1

I’m open to 18-39 roughly and I always thought most people in their 20s and 30s felt the same 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:06 AM
1

Same!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:57 AM
1

Thank you 💕 awesome username I love Doug 📺
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:52 AM
3

Thank you friend 💜💕
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:23 AM
1

Thank you 💕 I can’t guarantee that people will love the answers but I’ll always be as honest as possible. Don’t understand why people would lie on an anonymous Internet forum 🤦🏼‍♀️😂
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:21 AM
6

I was just trying the answer OP’s (your) question as honestly as possible. Too many people on Reddit can’t just keep it real.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:14 AM
3

5’3”. It has nothing to do with a father figure my dad was short like me. I think everyone should be allowed to pick one deal breaker and for me it’s height. As I said I don’t really care about body type aside from height so I’m not picky about any other physical feature.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:09 AM
1

Over about 6’1” usually is when I find myself the most physically attracted to a man
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:55 AM
6

I disagree I’d rather just be myself. I’m not boring at all. If you find yourself boring that also sounds like a you problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:54 AM
5

So why not just be yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:52 AM
5

I don’t know how you can try to dispute my dating history when you’ve never met me but if you can’t trust someone who literally has no reason to lie on an anonymous Internet forum, that sounds like a “you” problem
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:49 AM
9

I honestly will accept a second date with anybody as long as they don’t try to rape me on the first date so I guess I am the odd one out lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:36 AM
2

Tall is really my only requirement being perfectly honest but a full head of hair doesn’t hurt and I tend to be into younger guys (like under 30). All races and skin colors I’m open to so that stuff doesn’t matter. I don’t care as much about body type as height but if I was forced to pick my favorite body type I always have been into “baseball player” type bodies like muscular arms and legs but kind of chubby or just a “bigger” guy in general. Women like to feel dainty / petite. I’ve always been…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:31 AM
-1

My experience was the opposite I waited until marriage & he gave me nothing
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:11 PM
0

A lot of men withhold sex as a form of emotional abuse and coercive control
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:52 PM
3

I’m a woman and I want someone who just doesn’t treat me like shit and will treat me decent and have regular consistent sex without me having to beg and without any physical or emotional abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 06:40 PM
2

It’s sad to hear that men see it that way. When I say husband material, I mean a guy I’d be happy having sex with every single day for the rest of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:13 AM
3

Honestly I just am not interested in dating someone that is a 4 to me. I couldn’t care less about income but I’d rather be alone than be with someone I’m not physically attracted to. If he’s hot and treats me good he can be unemployed. Unfortunately I’ve noticed that unemployed guys, even when hot, tend to feel bad about themselves and take it out on everyone around them, and that’s the true dealbreaker. Has nothing to do with income.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:02 AM
3

I agree with all of this in the original post. Would give you an award if I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:19 AM
2

Same literally every word lol except I married two of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:56 PM
–

This is very YMMV. A lot of guys get turned off by women who do these behaviors before you’re exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:21 AM
–

Jennifer Lopez? Kim Kardashian?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:50 PM
–

100% agree and this is my experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:49 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 01:43 PM
1

I think it’s a very YMMV situation. I’m by nature a pick me and do all the things you described, but only have luck meeting men when I act avoidant and opposite of my nature. Almost polar opposite of everything you said. And for me, because I enjoy people pleasing, the avoidant “cool girl” act is exhausting and i can’t keep it up and the guy always leaves when i turn into the pick me. Weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 12:19 PM
2

This is almost word for word what my ex husband said as he was walking out the door - that he never loved me, never found me attractive, and just settled for me because he didn’t have any options. This checks out. He was physically attractive, but was very physically and emotionally abusive and had BPD which I’m sure made a lot of women run away (because as much as we all want an attractive partner, i don’t care how messed up you are- no one likes being beaten in the safety of their home. And i …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 01:21 PM
0

That’s not true. My husband left when I couldn’t pay the rent anymore. He did leave over me not being able to afford our housing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 07:08 AM
1

Times like this I really wish I had disposable income to buy Reddit premium and give you an award. You’re the real MVP my friend. This is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 07:20 AM
1

This, this, a thousand times this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 05:46 AM
2

I’m a woman who can’t buy a house or find a romantic partner. What you’re discussing is a genderless problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 05:46 AM
–

I do believe in true love but think everyone has a lot of potential partners. I don’t necessarily think monogamy is the way for everyone. I do think all relationships are transactional but that’s just life and there’s nothing wrong with it. I do think there is an unfair power balance between men and women due to patriarchy. I’ve only done physical things in committed relationships so can’t speak on hookups as they don’t interest me. I think dating partners can come in a lot of different ways. As…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 04:08 AM
0

This is all so true. I wish I had disposable income to give this a real award. I feel very seen and heard by this post. Thank you for speaking about the reality of life being a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 04:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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