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IamHere-4U Archive

View 2 posts and 185 comments by IamHere-4U on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Depressed means that you are in a constant state of lacking happiness. It does not (necessarily) describe that state of perceived social isolation, although it can. They don't have the same meaning but aren't mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:31 AM
3

There’s a difference between being lonely and merely feeling lonely. I always thought that the common adage was being alone versus being lonely. I think it is implied that loneliness is a feeling, whereas being alone is a condition. You can be lonely and have company and be alone without feeling lonely. At least, that is how the language has been used around me to make this distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:44 PM
2

People often forget this. There is a massive difference between feeling lonely (which can be in the company of others) and being alone (which entails solitude, but not necessarily loneliness).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:43 PM
1

I can appreciate the idea that platonic friendships do not meet all of the needs met by romantic relationships, but on the flip side, a monogamous, romantic relationship cannot satisfy the needs met by a variety of friendships, and, for most people, their friend circle shrinks noticeably when they are in a romantic relationship. You basically are often forced to pick your poison, unless you have a romantic relationship where there is a healthy distance between you and your partner (which I often…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:39 PM
3

Older men have more experience, are more likely to have their careers together, have money, be responsible, serious, Quoting this again, but work experience, investing experience, experience being an adult, experience with relationships (entails being emotionally mature/available), general life experience, etc. Again, I don't think women are attracted to age. I think that, with age, some things come that are often desirable in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 05:36 PM
2

Overall, more experience because they are older thus have lived longer. That is the general trend at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 12:46 PM
6

I think this is it. Older men have more experience, are more likely to have their careers together, have money, be responsible, serious, etc. It's not the age that women are attracted to, it's all of these things that are correlated with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 10:31 PM
1

he told me he could never be more than friends with a poc person. Oooof, this is rough
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 02:02 AM
1

Yeah, honestly, I don't fixate on n-counts as much as a lot of men, but I do find a complete lack of sexual experience a bit concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 12:39 AM
1

Women in general do not want virgin men or manwhore men. There is a massive amount of other numbers in between aka low N men or mid N men. Stop acting like the only two possible options are Virgin or Slut. Realistically, this is probably similar for most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 11:53 PM
-1

"relationships aren't everything" How does this constitute gaslighting? It's true... relationships aren't everything. I think men and women alike should try to grasp this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 03:32 PM
9

It's not either or and this is a chicken/egg scenario. You are right in highlighting the pygmalion effect here, there is a sort of positive feedback loop between physical attractiveness and confidence. That certainly warrants discussion, but there is no singular, specific origin for how this manifests, aka, the origin of this positive feedback loop. Here is the issue: you have physically attractive people that are insecure for other reasons. You also have people who are unattractive who lack an …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 02:34 PM
1

Interesting, thank you for sharing! It seems to be the case that people's ranges expand as they age, which makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 09:24 PM
2

Okay, I think that range seems pretty reasonable for that age. I am 29 now, and my range is about 24-35, so the range is similar both ways, but with more room older than younger. I am curious if, over time, this will shift, where my range will shift slightly younger once I am in my mid 30s. Anyway, this is interesting. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:37 PM
1

This 1,000 times over.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:27 PM
0

You fact checked him hard!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:25 PM
3

Single men rarely seek medical attention that's not urgent, period. 👏👏👏👏
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:24 PM
1

I think there is a difference between not believing something will affect you and it actually affecting you. Consider how most people with substance use disorders think about their excessive drug use.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:23 PM
2

How much of that might be due to lack of willingness to seek medical help/distrust of the medical establishment, and self medication with alcohol/drugs/other addictions? I thought something along these lines exactly. To add to that... What about stigmatization of seeking treatment from male peers? What about the fact that men tend to take health and safety less seriously than women? Consider how many men make reckless decisions, engage in dangerous behavior, or opt not to visit the doctor. A low…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:22 PM
1

Age. I'd go as high as 45 and as low as 25. Outside of that range - not for me. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I am curious because the range is quite broad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:18 PM
17

They never seem to be able to make the connection. 😂😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:15 PM
1

Looks Personality Career Weight Age N Count Some explanation. I put looks at number one, because, let's face it, in this day and age, looks are the screening test and personality is the second round that mostly factors into actual dates. Personality may actually be more important in determining a long term partner, but personality without looks will not get you on a date with me. For me, when it comes to relationships, career is absolutely crucial, though. I care a lot about education and I want…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 01:20 PM
1

I don't seek out any type of partner actively with the dimension of body count as a gaiting factor, because (a) there are other factors that are more important to me and (b) I seldom know one's body count before I go on a date, or even have sex, with them. It is because I don't really care to ask. What I will say, is that when having sex with women with almost no sexual experience (I have slept with one virgin) it wasn't particularly enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 12:53 PM
5

This is the funniest, and probably most reasonable, answer here
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 06:55 PM
1

In that case... does it then stand to reason that the more casual partners a person has had, then the more flattered their eventual spouse ought to be? I don't see why not. Again, this is just a perspective. I wouldn't necessarily read the numbers (as in body count) that way in a 1:1 fashion, but a woman without sexual experience has nothing to compare me to and I wouldn't feel like she really had much to compare me with. Could she be settling? Sure, she could. A girl with almost no experience i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 06:47 PM
1

It's not just in the past. Neo-Nazi movements are alive and well. A better comparison is if we should extend forgiveness to a former racist skinhead or Klansmen who has reformed their ways, left the movement, actively tried to de-program and all of that. I say, yes, we should.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:26 PM
1

So im good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date? Sadly, this is often the case. I think women will date/marry below their best lay, while men are the opposite. I don't think hookup culture is going away, so men and women just need to get used to that and take it into consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:19 PM
1

it still does not change the other factors like not having attraction to high notch count women I mean, that's on you, and I agree that much of attraction can't be explained, so I sort of feel like the discussion ends there if you just say, "I am not attracted to women with high body counts"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:17 PM
1

FYI even peer reviewed can be garbage. The Sokal Affair is old news. The incident is also easy to pick a part. Of course the editors of Social Text wouldn't be equipped to critique an article on quantum physics. The issues with that event don't validate think tanks with clear political biases. All that you are saying is that there is always the possibility of fraudulent data. I am asking for a psych study sent through editors well versed in psychology. This is a very different context.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:15 PM
0

The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) is a think tank which promotes right-of-center policies intended to improve family formation and child care. The institute also supports conservative perspectives towards marriage and family structure. In addition to research and advocacy, IFS tracks statistics such as birth rates and income levels in different types of families. I would prefer something in a ratified, peer-reviewed psychology journal if possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:09 PM
1

The thing is that you are asking ME to count on THEIR redemption when it will have very real consequences for ME. I don’t even care that much about losing half of my wealth to her but it would be quite embarrassing to me to divorce and have my kids growing up to divorced parents and watching their mom in a string of relationships. This is fair. When I was in my early 20s, I attended the selection process to become an officer in the Indian Airforce 8 times. I was rejected every time, while eagern…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:07 PM
1

If it were absolutely necessary to pay off further education, sure, and I liked everything else about her, sure, why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:05 PM
2

The men here are being honest while the ones you met irl are lying to you to not appear shallow I am a man... what about my male friends that I talk to? I think they would be more honest. it is in a man's nature to prefer a woman with a lower n count Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:02 PM
1

I'd be more understanding of that if she was desperate for money for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 05:01 PM
1

The idea of my partner being with someone else is itself gross, if it wasn't I'd opt for an open relationship. I understand that in the present. What I don't understand about this sentiment is why extend it into a woman's past?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:59 PM
1

Yes, correlation does not equal causation but if you have the choice between reducing your chances of divorce or increasing it which will you choose? What if it is other factors altogether that increase chances of divorce? Cell phone ownership and divorce were highly correlated. Also, divorce rates have likely increased because there is less stigma around it and women are less economically dependent on husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:54 PM
1

I grew up in religious Hindu household in rural India, overall we have very conservative views surrounding sex, one is supposed to get married and then have sex. I willingly gave up the religion and adopted comparatively liberal views towards sex and relationships, however, majority of my life spent surrounded by those views and culture cannot be easily undone, especially since it was in formative years. This is all fair. I don’t know but it’s pretty hard to trust their claims and motives. Anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:52 PM
1

I can't address these claims with any scrutiny without sources. They would be much appreciated if you can find them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:48 PM
1

Is this in response to me or u/redbraisedmeat?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:46 PM
1

You bring up good points here, even if I don't value low body counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:45 PM
0

I guess I am "dirty" as is so I cannot empathize. I don't see sex, or substance use, for that matter, as things that make people dirty.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:44 PM
1

Do you have any literature on it being a predictor of loyalty?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:43 PM
1

ex prostitute The question is what was she doing at that time where she wasn't investing in herself? You didn't have the Master's or better tagged onto this before. I have been in school nonstop since my bachelor's, other than working on my career.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:42 PM
2

I don't really think responding to the question with a question helps in this case, but my reasoning would be that sex is fun and people like to explore fun things in life. However, we can also grow a part from them with time, and decide we appreciate them once in a blue moon, only in certain contexts, etc. A lot of people would get shitfaced in uni and then go on to drink less excessively later in life. I used to drink a lot and do a lot of drugs, but I am sober now. Who knows if I will stay so…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:41 PM
2

I think the disconnect here comes from the fact that some men secretly and openly don't really care whether their partner enjoys sex. She's basically just a vessel for his sperm and they want one that hasn't had other sperm in it. Contrast with the men whose primary concern is whether their women feels genuine attraction and sexual hunger towards them. Both types of men are represented in this community. Really interesting perspective. I hadn't considered that there were sort of two demographics…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:39 PM
1

😂😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:38 PM
1

Yeah, right? I have a high body count, so why should I care?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:36 PM
3

Interesting. Yeah, men who I know personally do not give a fuck about body counts, though the internet paints a very, very different picture. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:35 PM
1

So then you'd date an ex sex worker with 100+ n? It's not the body count, it's the fact that one didn't have similar career/educational aspirations. I am turned off by people who aren't constantly investing in themselves in terms of career development and education, however. I have a Master's, am pursuing a PhD and additional Master's, and I want someone similarly ambitious. If it is the 100+ body count, no, I don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:34 PM
2

People can change but it's hard, especially if they've been wired that way for years. Marriage is already hard, why are you making it even more difficult for yourself? This is fair. Aren't many divorces initiated because of sexless marriages? At least that's what I've been hearing from anecdotes. Okay, so these are anecdotes. I think a lot of divorces are due to lost feelings, toxic relationships, changes in chemistry, lack of compatibility with changing lifestyles, etc. In general, I think peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:31 PM
1

IMO weed is just for lazy people. I've never met a motivated person who smoked weed regularly. I beg to differ on this! I know a lot of active stoners. For me, the problem is weed was more that it sort of became my go to "fun activity", so my experiences were becoming less diverse. That, and it wasn't great for my sleep schedule. I wouldn't say it made me lazy, rather that it gave me less of a reason to do other enjoyable things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:29 PM
3

That is fair. Your personal experiences and how they impact your dating choices are valid. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:27 PM
1

Pair bonding is infamously talked about as an issue on here. Some nebulous study that shows that once a woman’s body count is 7 or higher she loses the ability to pair bond Do you have this study? I have taken an evolutionary psych course and, surprisingly, pair bonding never once came up, so I question how much weight it holds up in academic circles. You would think that, in evolutionary psych, the one discipline that is all about the evolutionary development of attraction, sexuality, etc. this…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:27 PM
2

I prioritized respect in this post for a reason. I am done with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:24 PM
3

What about a pornstar? What about a prostitute? These are professions and work/education factors a lot into who I actively opt to seek out dating and not pump and dump. If you have been in the service industry for years, for example, I start raising eyebrows. If you have a job that I perceive as not intellectually demanding, yeah, I am not going to want something long-term with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:22 PM
1

Can you link any literature regarding this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:20 PM
2

There are objective reasons that are hard facts like the risk of STDs, and correlation with divorce rates. What I struggle with regarding these two is that (1) if a girl has a clean STI test anyway, why would you care and (2) correlation is not causation, and casual sex and divorce are so common now that I don't know if we can draw a direct link between the two. Society has changed so much in the past 50 years on so many fronts. Also since women have easy access to sex if they choose to refrain …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:16 PM
2

For me personally, sex is kind of a big deal and people for whom it’s not, I would say that we don’t have compatible values. This is something that I see popping up a lot in this thread, and to be honest, if you have a quasi-religious view of sex as being (almost) sacred, I don't think it is my place to question that. I have slept with couple of women I had no feelings for and I felt so gross and disgusted by myself afterwards. I felt like a dick for semi-ghosting them afterwards. I don’t want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:13 PM
2

Most men are just naturally disgusted by women with higher count probably due to evolutionary reasons. That is fair. It could also be cultural. I do agree that much of attraction lays outside the domains of conscious explanation/understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:10 PM
2

I don't really care either, but I guess you aren't really the intended audience for this question, in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:10 PM
2

I was never hedonistic or irresponsible in that way, so why should I be with someone who was? That is fair. I guess a good comparison for me is drugs. I have engaged a lot in substance use in my life but now I am completely sober. I have never judged someone for previous experiences with substance use but wouldn't want to be with someone who makes drugs/alcohol a massive part of where they derive happiness (because, what would we end up doing together?). Maybe if I never engaged in substance use…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:06 PM
3

I had an ex who had loads of casual sex before we were together, and we just never saw eye to eye on sex and that weirded me out a lot. He was a typical ‘have sex with whoever’ kinda guy and it just affected everything about how I could interact with him. My big question is if you think people's perspectives can change on this, or, if once they have engaged in a lot of sex, they already see sex as something that can be given indiscriminately? I'm genuinely curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:04 PM
3

Masculinity isn't any of my argument. Hah-hah... That makes you unmasculine. Most men are masculine and are ok with all these. We can't really help you empathize with that. What pushes masculine men away from high N count women is the idea of other men and of tarnished femininity in this woman. It is highly debatable that her femininity can or cannot be tarnished by sex, but this is how it works for them. On for the next bit... So what is left? Did you learn anything about their perspective from…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:02 PM
5

1 is definitely the most fair. For 3 and 4, do you think, that once someone engaged in a period of casual sex, it is impossible for them to change? But if I feel that she is mentally and morally healthy, has a good and positive attitude towards sex and men and is capable of a real relationship, then I have no problem. I will definitely prefer a high libido woman with a higher n-count to an asexual virgin. This all seems reasonable. Maybe, for more men, the issue is less n-counts and more perspec…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 04:00 PM
1

That means that anything she did for, did with or tolerated from previous partners becomes the base treatment I want from her. Okay, so it is more of a mistreatment from men kind of thing? I value the sharing of first experiences. The lower her n count the more first experiences she has left to share. Again, general rule. Exceptions exist. Okay, that is interesting. I never thought about it that way. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:58 PM
2

You're pushing that you know what their sexual or relational preference stems from while admitting you can't cognitively understand nor empathetically relate to them. I am saying "It could be argued", not that it is my argument. I am not going to assert what masculinity is or isn't. That is rubbish.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:57 PM
3

This is interesting. I do pull and just kind of assume that a lot of people do/can in this day and age.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:54 PM
1

Okay, that is fair. I think my big question is if you think that, someone could be hedonistic and then go through a period of change? Also, if one were to change, would you be open to dating them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:53 PM
2

Your perspective is a fallacy. Which logical fallacy is it that I am breaching here? Please do inform me. The point isn't to insist on masculinity anyway, the point is you're clearly an eccentric individual if you're a man and can't empathize at all. I'm not saying that you personally attack you, but to say that this isn't something we can just tell you for you to get it. What? Now I'm wondering if you truly ask in good faith if you already have set up your idea that this is insecurity. The phra…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:51 PM
3

It's the fact that people who are that casual about sex are just not very likely to stay faithful after marriage. Okay, let me ask you this. Is it the idea that, once one professes an interest in casual sex, you believe they are less likely to switch out of this perspective? I think people can change, and that, one can have casual sex, but once in a relationship be faithful, but that is just what I believe. It could be she's with you because she feels she needs to settle for someone. It very wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:48 PM
6

This perspective seems to be more fair. If you want to pivot into the notion that sex is sacred, it makes sense that you wouldn't want it to be treated casually. Also, I agree about the hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:45 PM
2

This is a fair perspective. Do you think it is comparable to, say, drug use? Like, if you are someone who is not interested in drug use, you don't want to be with someone who is? Also, what if someone was interested in casual sex but changed their mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:44 PM
3

That makes you unmasculine. Most men are masculine and are ok with all these. We can't really help you empathize with that. First... This should go without being said, but please try to be respectful. No condescending quips, insults, blatant misogyny, feigning superiority and what not. I am going to afford y'all respect, so I am going to expect y'all to do the same Second... One could just as easily argue that being so concerned about prior sexual encounters and tarnished femininity show insecur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 03:42 PM
1

I don't think you can say it is nothing like the other misogynist groups. First of all, they all are deemed to be part of the manosphere because they are thought to pool from the same set of beliefs about men and women, largely that the behavior and beliefs of women are reducible to a small set of responses to external stimuli, often entail the objectification of women, etc. Are there positive ideas floating around in PUA circles? Some, definitely, but you cannot say that the subculture is witho…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 05:53 PM
1

Y'all are hyperfixating on the loyalty of women here, when, according to this infographic... 1 out of 5 of the 43% of women (about 9%, but tbh, the stats aren't super clear here) admitted that the backup man was a friend of their partner 1 out of 10 of the 43% of women (again, stats are super unclear, but let's say 4%) said the backup man already confessed undying love These two stats seriously draw the loyalty of your male "bros" into question. I genuinely thinking fucking one of your close fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 02:03 PM
1

drink alcohol/smoke weed daily Daily? I think a lot of perfectly stable people use drugs, but you are going to have to back up the daily consumption part. I agree that daily use isn't good, and most things are fine in moderation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 01:18 PM
3

I think there is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. Explanation: I have these toxic behaviors, or I behaved in this type of pattern, and here is the reason why. I should understand the root cause of these behaviors and be accountable so that I can correct it. Excuse: I behave this way because of these reasons. I will not be accountable and I have no desire or motivation to change these toxic behaviors. You can blame, address, and foreground your trauma, but you have to take steps…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 11:46 AM
2

I don't confuse things it comes with having a 140 IQ.. I highly, highly doubt you have an IQ of 140 based on how you convey yourself. You don't seem the least bit intelligent. You've already conflated average trends with particular preferences, which is indeed indicative of some type of confusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 12:19 AM
1

There is no cultural context stop telling men what where attracted to the Majority of men on the planet would choose Adrianna Lima over Lizzo The majority tells you nothing about localized particularities, and extremes do not illustrate your point well at all. I'm not even going to have this conversation with you it's not worth my time 😑 Because your argument is shit and sidesteps the point entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 12:17 AM
6

I guess it depends on what you mean by "dating down." Looks? Status? Money? This. I see women dating less attractive men than their exes all of the time, but who honestly knows what else they may bring to the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 11:57 PM
1

Studies have always shown married people of both genders live longer on average & have better than average quality of life. What it doesn't account for is people who have been divorced (which isn't to suggest that divorce is unhealthy; rather that marrying poorly is), who make up a significant number of people who have ever been married. A 75-year study from Harvard concludes that toxic, unhealthy or abusive relationships/marriages are far, far worse than being single in terms of long term healt…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:41 PM
2

I used to hang out with roleplaying friends and I was totallly not motivated to commit to this thing long-term. Assembling two people to have sex, both of whom find the other attractive enough to fuck, is not that hard. Assembling a part of five to play DnD with, who are willing to roll up characters, and a dedicated DM, is much, much harder. The reason that the number of times I have had sex in my life far outweighs the number of times I have played dungeons and dragons has nothing to do with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 03:31 PM
1

Maybe you just weren't into a lot of those geeky things to begin with, though, just like how I am not that interested in the vast majority of spectator sports.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:18 PM
2

Hobbies are a useful and enjoyable substitute for a relationship. They are often necessary while you are in a relationship, too. Hobbies can substitute a relationship, sure, but relationships cannot substitute hobbies. I think you implied that with your last sentence, though. I don't think people should give up their passions for a relationship, and I think we can agree that we shouldn't give them up so easily. I agree with you about lost time when men get into relationships and start families, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:16 PM
2

I've read some men get nerdy in hobbies because they can't find a date and need to cope. I don't feel this way. This is absolutely not true. I always wanted to play dnd and do fantasy worldbuilding shit when I was in a relationship and needed time away from my ex. I can get dates relatively easily and still want to engage in my autistic nerd/weeaboo nonsense. If you asked me right now, as we speak, would I rather have sex or play DnD, I would definitely choose DnD provided that everything was se…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:13 PM
2

Exceptions don't make the norm if fat was attractive 300lb women would be plastered all over magazines be sex symbols and Bond girls 300 lbs is at such an extreme that it sidesteps the discussion. You have to consider the cultural contexts in which these magazines are published. They are more indicative of western beauty standards than anything else. Your whole argument is that anyone who likes curvier women is doing it as a cope but acknowledge that exceptions don't make the rule. In your latte…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:02 PM
4

Maybe cultural Maybe not always (I won't deny counterexamples) but this is indeed cultural much of the time. I have traveled enough to notice this. I have spent a significant amount of time in East Africa, and if I saw a beautiful, slender woman there, none of my friends who were local would give her a second look. However, they were often in relationships or in sexual engagements with much larger women, and they openly admitted to this. They thought I was weird for not liking women who were plu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 01:59 PM
1

I agree that the original article warrants critique, but I also think the notion that marriage necessarily makes people happier warrants critique. In the US divorce rates are at nearly 50%... can we really conclude that marriages make people happier?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 01:12 PM
1

^ This x 1,000,000. I cannot stress this shit enough. With divorce rates as high as 50% in the US, you have to consider that marriages can either be fulfilling or in the realm of abusive, toxic, unhealthy, or simply just deadweight doing nothing for one or both of the parties involved. You have to look at each marriage on its own merits.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 01:10 PM
1

This argument floats around a lot, but I think what people leave out, for both men and women, is that toxic, unhealthy or abusive relationships/marriages are far, far worse than being single in terms of long term health outcomes, like premature death, health complications, and early onset dementia. Harvard has conducted a 75-year study on this and it was one of the interesting bits of data they found. My point is, these discussions are always weighed in terms of if marriage is good or bad, and n…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 01:08 PM
1

This (for starters) implies that what you've posted above contained it. Roughly the same share of men as women being victims of DV is not an argument that supports your stance, on the opposite. 33% and 25% are not roughly the same amount. Would that also justify focusing only on women as the victims of the DV? It is women who are survivors of domestic violence who typically end up opening crisis centers and the other like and they choose to service other women. If you want to see men's issues pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:03 PM
1

No, it is replaced to increase the pool of victims. No, it definitely is because fixating on penetration leaves out a number of crimes which are worthy of discussion. In fact, the fixation on penetration is a product of heteronormativity and the male gaze. There are exactly 0 feminist groups that give a F about male victims. What makes you say this? I know feminist social scientists who work with male survivors of sexual assault who are very clear in stating that the impacts of rape on the menta…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:00 PM
1

There are many ways to formlulate questions. Different wording leads to different results. For sure, because all quantitative data needs parameters based on qualitative categories. However, the word rape is slowly being replaced with sexual assault for the exact reason you brought up. A lot of surveys now document the issue of sexual assault as opposed to rape, which many more women have been impacted by. When that "reality" is a number shown on a device, it kinda is. But when a man-hating human…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:06 PM
1

Oh, is it? For instance? Besides a/an/the -s. Yeah, you are missing entire prepositions. I read what you state and make honest conclusion what you tried to say. I read what you wrote and made an honest conclusion about what you tried to say. Fixed that for you. Don't feed me with Feminazi nonsense. Actual scientific study had been linked above. All of that "feminazi nonsense" is based on actual studies. I am going to link the studies for each statistic in order of how they are listed above. Trum…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:00 PM
2

OP is an embarrassment as you won't be able to name single flawed stats from TRP world, while you'd find it challenging to find stats that are not flawed in feminazi world. What does it mean for a stat to be flawed? Statistics are numbers derived from reality that only give you an understanding of one part of the greater picture. This is the case across the board. There is a difference between knowing statistics that are factually true and being statistically literate to the point you can discer…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:18 PM
3

I read what you state and make honest conclusion what you tried to say. If you need someone to read your mind, talk to someone else. You didn't, because you didn't understand what I am trying to say. I am going to come right out and give you the benefit of the doubt by saying your English isn't that good. This is particularly evident in your grammar. You are from Germany, I presume. Based on what you have written, I think you are limited in the English language when it comes to both interpretati…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:15 PM
1

I am going to say that you are taking the laziest approach to trying to make this argument which requires zero actual research, case examples, or citations on your part. But it is not illegal anywhere. The only countries that have tried are a few northern European countries and Iceland, but their (extremely small btw) Jewish population threw a hissy fit. Okay, but if the practice is almost non-existant, people also aren't up in arms about making laws about it. Sometimes, in absence of a problem,…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:05 PM
2

You are cherrypicking quotes without understanding the broader context of my argument. From mid 90s, US feds alone spend billions on fighting "domestic violence against women". Right, because domestic violence is a problem that largely impacts women. It seems like a reasonable thing to spend billions on as a public health crisis. If this makes the issue "about money", then so is merely any other public health issue we are dealing with. I don't see the point here. Also, give me EXACT FIGURES. HAR…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 02:04 PM
1

Contrary to popular belief, bodily autonomy is absolutely not a right in any country on Earth. If it was, I would not have been strapped down to a plastic board and had my genitals mutilated when I was a newborn infant. I disagree. I take it you are American. If you travel outside the US, you will find that circumcision is, in fact, extremely uncommon. Abortion was not federally legal because of bodily autonomy, Roe was based on the constitutional right to privacy. Not bodily autonomy. That righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:56 PM
2

I didn’t skip over it a lot of white guys did indeed try to capitalize on the ideas but it wasn’t all that popular. Okay, but the notions of red pill, manosphere, etc. started with them... it was largely white online forums. I am not saying that there wasn't black cultural phenomenon that intersected with this movement that haven't influenced black content creators today, but I think we need to acknowledge that a lot of manosphere arguments are predicated on masculinity more broadly and its chie…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 02:06 AM
2

You are skipping a lot of the earlier manosphere stuff that has been floating around on the internet, which has largely been white men or white passing men. Daryush Valizadeh, for example, is not black. Paul Elam is also a white man. It really started with MRAs, PUAs, and MGTOWs. Later, it gravitated toward incels. The manosphere overlaps heavily with white supremacist ideologies, to the point that white chauvinism has become a term.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:44 AM
2

The biggest creators in the redpill space are black … It may seem that way now but that wasn't the case historically.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:28 AM
3

I am pulling up a few definitions of rights... Rights are legal, social, or ethical principles of freedom or entitlement; that is, rights are the fundamental normative rules about what is allowed of people or owed to people according to some legal system, social convention, or ethical theory. Rights are of essential importance in such disciplines as law and ethics, especially theories of justice and deontology. ​ a moral or legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:27 AM
1

You brought up a different concept, barbershop talk, which is something that exists solely within the black community. This is not the progenitor of the red pill movement today. The term red pill only became used after the Matrix. Feminism is an actual ideology that emerged and was written about in the late 1800's.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:17 AM
1

Feminism didn't start with Anita Sarkeesian, but Red Pill started with PUA more than anything else. Feminism may have evolved with the internet age, but it is by no means from the internet age. You cannot say the same thing about the red pill movement. Do you see the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:01 AM
3

Rights are restrictions on government, not handouts Restrictions on government? Like, restraining the government? What are you even trying to say here? The only "women's rights" is making sure those rights also apply to women as well as men. Those precious "rights" people talk about are privileges, nor restrictions on governments. What about issues that predominantly impact women, like access to forms of healthcare that are relevant to those with femme bodies? Like, for example, access to a safe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 12:59 AM
3

How would you even define women's rights?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 12:03 AM
1

I would wager that the vast majority of feminists are heterosexual women in, seeking, or open to hetero-romantic relationships with men. I don't think a hashtag summarizes the entire state of feminism. Redpill, on the other hand, often involved psychologically manipulating women from the beginning. Many feminists would argue that TERFs themselves are not feminists. I am sure most feminists think gender is a social construct and is pivotal to their views.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 12:02 AM
6

I'm not sure you are aware of the difference between millions and billions. I'm not saying a couple RP guys aren't making money, I'm saying that it's a fly speck compared to all the millions and billions feminism rakes in. Give me exact figures for the billions of dollars that are made by feminism. If you are going to make this claim, I want hard numbers, not amorphous statements. Let me know when Obama or some other president doesn't spout off about Wage Gap lies and spouts Tate's message. What…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:59 PM
6

And feminism absolutely does promote hate. How can they deliver their core product without recruitment? What?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:45 PM
8

The primary difference is, feminism is a multi billion dollar racket and TRP has a few facebook groups and youtube videos. You cannot argue this in good faith with the amount of money pickup artists and the likes of Andrew Tate are making. TRP actually wants women, and feminists hate men and don't want them. A lot of feminists are het women who do indeed want men despite issues of misogyny. Now if you compared TRP and FDS, they would be much more comparable. Or Feminism and MRA. The comparison w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:43 PM
0

I disagree with this. Both started off as net positives for their respective demographics and eventually devolved into sexism. I don't think feminism devolved into sexism, nor do I think redpill was without misogyny from the beginning. Both ostracize people in their group who don’t agree with everything by rebranding them as something else ie. TERFS and black pill. Fuck TERFs, but I think the blackpill crowd actually does overlap with the redpill crowd more substantially. Both promote a culture …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:40 PM
1

Look, I think there is a problem with men being entitled to women regardless, but I don't agree with how you are framing it at all. If you can't find a partner then you weren't meant to reproduce Many people find partners and never reproduce. Younger people have lower birthrates than previous generations. I don't think reproduction is intrinsically tied to mate selection, or a necessary part of it in this day and age, for that matter. I think you are talking about two separate things.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:34 PM
1

It's not a binary. I am saying if you solely vet it is a turnoff. Dating should be fucking fun, because nobody would go on dates if every single one was a job interview. It's not worth it because most dates are fruitless anyway. You might as well have fun along the way so there are no regrets.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 12:03 PM
1

I have been, and I have heard other men express this before.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 11:41 PM
1

I think it is the same for women, honestly. I don't think anyone would date if they treated it with too much seriousness. You can vet without being seriously invested in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 10:46 PM
1

👏
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:48 PM
1

Putting entire lists out of all of your opinions and putting them out for potential partners to read is not considered normal nor attractive. It is most definitely overkill.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:46 PM
2

Ooooo, this one is smooth! I like this. I'm definitely keeping a note of these lines!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:45 PM
1

Yes, Ondating line
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:44 PM
1

I think you are speaking in really, really broad strokes and it doesn't reflect reality. People aren't super serious about dating when they start. Commitment and what not pick up later, and that's perfectly normal. People just want to have fun in the beginning when things get serious, the tone changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:43 PM
2

Yeah, right? It was one of the most bizarre experiences, and she gave me so much shit the whole night about other things as well, like not gushing over the best aspects of having had sex with her (which was pretty bad, imo, but I did it anyway because I didn't want to leave NYC that night, lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 08:04 PM
1

But I don't agree that vet for safety. They vet to see how they can get resources. I think this depends a lot on their positionality, tbh. Yes, vetting for resources is definitely also a thing, but so is vetting for safety. political ideology. I think asking about one's political ideology makes sense as vetting criteria if you consider things like racism, sexism, etc. to be a threat. Many women, especially women of colour, do give a fuck about these things. Mind you, that doesn't mean I want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:55 PM
2

Hahahah, great questions man. I was as perplexed as you, and honestly offended. Some context: yes, I am white like you. Biden never came up as far as I remember, but we had talked about race the day before, my Hinge profile says liberal (I only pick that because you cannot select leftist), and I also emphasized that I had done a lot of research related to HIV. It just boggles my fucking mind that she felt the need to ask me that, especially when I emphasized, "Not gonna lie, my dad is kind of co…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:48 PM
1

Yeah, I mean, this is totally legitimate and something that I will never understand. I live in a super safe country, and I am a privileged white man, so it just doesn't show up on my radar. That being said, my awareness of this has zero impact on how enjoyable I find a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:28 PM
1

Really interesting and funny story, there. Maybe I can try this out. It's an intriguing prospect for sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:26 PM
1

The vast majority of people that date, regardless of gender are just normal people and I refuse to subscribe to the notion that more men are dangerous people than women. In the immediate sense or most blatantly physical sense, I think, yes, men are more dangerous. Men are more likely to rape than women, men are more likely to commit violent crimes, including domestic abuse, and men are more likely to stalk. When you focus on specific abusive behaviors, like gaslighting, men and women are probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:23 PM
2

Yeah, she basically said she had to ask because she was a woman of color. She has legitimate fears, yes, but not legitimate grounds to lack that much perception without autism or extreme anxiety or a something.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:14 PM
1

I am skeptical of this. I think women are sincere in being guarded, to which vetting is a response. I have had really attractive women not vet, or at least not blatantly vet, and then I still got laid, whereas I have been vetted hard by less desirable women, got laid, but honestly had zero interest in pursuing things further.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:11 PM
1

A 70%ile woman will genuinely think she deserves a 20%ile man. Sure, but in that case, then I think how attractive you are has little to do with how much vetting you get. They might think they deserve 20%ile men because of one night stands they have had, but there is no way they don't know that I can pull waaaaaaay better than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:07 PM
2

If they think you’re attractive and may be boyfriend material they are more likely to “vet” you, because whatever is holding them back from jumping your bones immediately is signaling ‘potential creep’ that may stalk, rape, or ‘nice guy’ them. Of course it’s on a spectrum but that’s my experience. I think this might be my problem, honestly. A girl is going to care more about the personal politics of a potential partner than a guy who is a ONS. This might be why I get asked more annoying, checkli…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:01 PM
3

This is actually a really interesting premise. I am not sure that this will work, but it is intriguing indeed, and I think it is worth a shot. Thank you for the genuinely good advice, it is much appreciated!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:56 PM
0

Women don't care about this shit with attractive men. You can bet none of this vetting happens when she finds a hawt guy. Not to be vane, but my firsthand experience contradicts this idea, especially when considering that some of the women that have done this to me were waaaaay below my league (they didn't look like their pictures on ODL).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:55 PM
3

Right? Realistically, you are never truly safe as a woman, so how do you go through life with your guard always up? I get it, there are real reasons to vet, but why would I date someone who is so fucking guarded to the point that they are fucking insufferable to talk to?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:51 PM
2

I mean, we can talk about safety, but how many girls won't even go on that second bowling date... I have had very different experiences. I have had girls vet about politics because they feel extremely afraid, vulnerable, etc. and don't want me to be some racist misogynist. It's just tiring when there are more subtle ways to have that conversation and inferences that you can make rather than asking in a presumptuous, checklist kind of way. I have had girls vet me like this, and though I got exhau…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:49 PM
2

Could you grow to accept that the very first time she is ever meeting you, that she’s GOING to vet?? Yes, but you can balance this, have a video call beforehand if it is ODL, do it over text, etc. You can vet a bit, and you can even be smooth about vetting (I, in fact, find this extremely sexy, because I love a girl who is perceptive and can do some detective work). If future dates are all the same thing, I totally understand, but lord, give her the first one. Consider this perspective: most dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:46 PM
2

It's so funny, because ODL does lead to a mixed bag of dating up and down, honestly. The differences in quality of matches are probably greater than they have ever been.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:33 PM
1

Counterpoint: cutting straight to an unsuccessful first date is basically pulling that band aid off quickly. Yeah, but it feels bad if I am paying. Sometimes I have agreed to do that in advance for cancelling or a something. I realized that, in most situations, you can just go dutch, though. all that back and forth texting would cut into my Reddit commenting time… Right! I forgot about that. The stuff that really matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:29 PM
1

Lololol, yeah, it feels a bit uncouth
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:28 PM
3

Of course, but they shouldn't expect me to remain interested once they've found that there are no red flags. Don't be surprised that I don't hit you up for a second date if you spent the whole of the first one vetting. Women don't vet to entertain, but people seek entertainment in dating, so, yes, there needs to be some balance since it takes two to tango.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:27 PM
1

Are all examples that she is trying to vet how receptive you to social shaming and thus how easily she can control you. I don't think so. She may genuinely want to find someone who is likeminded with these. I turn it into a game and reciprocate with the same energy: Thanks, but I'll pass on this
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:26 PM
2

Yeah, it pissed me off because when I said no as if it were a ridiculous question she got really defensive about it on the basis that she was a woman of color and she needed to know. I get her vulnerable position, but it doesn't help with my issue of wanting to feel like someone is actually listening to me if I am going to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 05:30 PM
3

Interesting take. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 05:17 PM
-2

It's far more efficient for you to list your opinions in writing, share the list with 10,000 ladies, and allow 9,990 disqualify you out of the gate. Maybe more efficient, but also more autistic...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 05:06 PM
3

Other than that it’s not like we out here facing interrogations. I might get asked what I think about certain things or specifics about my past but to me those are just conversations that I’m more than glad to talk about I have experienced it, and sometimes the questions are unnecessary to the point you feel that someone isn't listening to you. So two dates ago, I had been talking with a girl a bit over the phone. She already knew I wanted to pursue a degree in public health, wanted to work in h…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 05:03 PM
4

Unsafe people can appear safe for extended periods of time. Of course, but shit like this is why I hate victim blaming. Giving the benefit of the doubt when it comes to femicide, rape, trafficking, etc. and just assuming a guy is nice is also contingent on saying, "I mean, she had no idea he would do these things and gave him the benefit of the doubt."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:59 PM
3

Yeah. I mean, if I am paying, I want to be entertained, honestly, and that doesn't (necessarily) mean sex. It (mostly) means good conversation and forgetting that I am on a fucking date of all things.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:55 PM
2

Yeah, that's my deal. Because I use ODL and won't spend a cent on any gimmicks, paying for dinner already seems like a lot. I am okay with doing it, but it better be a fucking worthwhile time.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:53 PM
1

I would rather vet via app because you can opt out as you please. Vetting during your first meetup feels like a trap.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:51 PM
1

As a guy you have to take what you can get, pickiness means death. Really, though? I think the quality of women I date varies greatly because of ODL. There are women who I have deliberately rejected or ghosted, though I don't do the latter anymore. I am all about cutting things off politely, now.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:48 PM
3

Might I be bold enough to offer this advice: If next time you're feeling like you're being "interviewed," just stop the woman and tell her, politely but firmly, that you're feeling like you're being interviewed and that it's making your date an unpleasant experience. Tell her you'd like to talk about more personal or abstract concepts to connect instead. Good idea! This, or I may just be forward about it after a date if it is a turnoff and be respectful about cutting things off. Anyway, thank yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:45 PM
4

Patience and understanding is the key. Yeah, but I want to have fun (not necessarily sex, but just enjoy my fucking time) before committing to three dinners. I have options and I don't have to be patient.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:44 PM
2

And your initial one was super antagonistic. Just take the L at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:37 PM
4

I mean, I can empathize with women in their fears. It just doesn't make me enjoy dates more knowing this when the whole thing feels like a job interview. I want to enjoy myself. Even if there is no second date, I don't want to feel like dinner was a waste of time without stimulating conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:37 PM
1

Women cannot feasibly sift through all of their options, though, and they act like vetting will somehow make their chances better. Men and women alike doing ODL tend to stay single for a very, very long time. It's just the way it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:35 PM
4

Yes, this is true, but because women don't have that luxury, they don't consider that men don't want to feel like they are being vetted and just want to feel like they are having a good time on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:34 PM
3

I disagree. I think it is quite specific, or at least as specific as it needs to be. it is often the case that one person thinks all of this was happening and the other does not. Red herring, and no shit... ​ Let's be real, though. Your original comment wasn't neutral. Your sarcastic retorts implied that there was no real interest on the part of men for looking for fun on a date when it was spelled out very clearly. Just take the L, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:32 PM
2

Everything you said is true, and sadly, if you have an innate fear of men, neither party will have a good time on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:29 PM
0

This entire post is wasteful. Nah, I think there is just disagreement on this, like many issues on this subreddit, and that is okay. Women only vet average or below-average guys. I can tell you from firsthand experience that women well below the best I can pull have tried vetting me. It's a safety thing for a lot of reason, and in that capacity, I am empathetic. It just doesn't make dating fun at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:28 PM
7

I have never been on a first date with a guy and rolled out the big issues for vetting purposes. Yes, I think it is generational, but also cultural, and is contingent on who you date and their positionality. For example, women who are more vulnerable, like women of colour or queer women, might (understandably) care a lot about vetting. I don't have their life experiences, so I get that, but I am saying some women do this at the expense of, as you said, scintillating conversation and forging a pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:22 PM
1

It feels kind of bad if you already agreed to take someone out and you leave in the middle of eating, no? I guess you can just say you want to eat your dinner but not see each other anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:17 PM
6

I’m glad someone said dating for men is like being on a job interview. Yeah, I really think so. This is why we try so hard to make dates enjoyable. We want to forget that it is a fucking job interview.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:15 PM
0

Right, this is true. I almost think that the other party who has spent so much time vetting should try to be a bit more entertaining after that gauntlet.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:14 PM
3

You are right, and on some level, I am guilty of this as well
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:12 PM
6

I am not saying that anyone does anything too much per se, rather that the genders will not see eye-to-eye on this. I have had women who are definitely less desirable than me show up to dates (as in not looking like the pictures on the app) and basically spend the whole time trying to figure out if I am problematic but not being remotely interesting, making good conversation, etc. At a certain point, after the exhaustion of the interview questionnaire, I am left thinking what the other person br…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:11 PM
3

Attracting: these are the pull factors, rather than push. Dating is like a serious of job interviews that you have to sit through to find some ideal partner, or someone you actually enjoy spending time with. It is extremely daunting, which is why you need these pull factors. This is having fun and fulfilling conversation to fill the time, finding common interests, using humor, flirting, etc. basically, all of the things that make you likable and make both parties forget that they are on a date. …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:08 PM
3

Right, women have every reason to feel unsafe, but if you securing your safety means that I don't even enjoy spending time with you at dinner, then why the fuck did I even show up?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:07 PM
2

I feel you. We are very different politically and in terms of who we date, but at the end of the day, I hope you can empathize with my take here: just because I am a leftist doesn't mean that you, as a leftist, get to waste 30 min to an hour of my time just checking every little issue to see if it is in line with your point of view instead of having a normal fucking conversation with me. I am even open to talking about politics, but not as a formality.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:06 PM
4

How about interesting conversations about a myriad of different issues? What about bonding over common interests, assuming that there are some? What about trying to find common experiences or perspectives? What about finding a point of disagreement and discussing it? What about enjoying socializing to the point that you more or less forget that you are on a date?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:03 PM
9

Someone good at vetting would not come off as vetting, though. It would feel like casual conversation. Yessss, this is so true. I actually love a smooth vetter. The best dates I have ever been on involved smooth vetting. They were only first dates, but they were fun as fuck and that's why they were worth while. Again, I would rather have fun but miss the mark on landing a second date than go through multiple job interviews and not know if I even enjoy spending time with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:02 PM
6

Right, this is exactly the point! At what point can you just give someone the benefit of the doubt and just try to have fun? Like, what do you bring to the table that makes you think that the other person will just put up with being vetted indefinitely when you haven't done one thing on a date to make them enjoy themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:00 PM
1

I don't have any good guesses, but I assume that at least some women would rather be scared than bored. I think more are the opposite, but at the expense of men feeling bored on dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:59 PM
3

there are still things in people of each gender that are serious red flags. For sure, there are a lot of women who are extremely manipulative and abusive, just as there are men who are. overall, it sounds like a total headache when the whole dating scene is about weighing pros and cons and analyzing each others motives. It sure is a headache to sit through on a date because you don't figure out chemistry by talking about it on a meta. You gotta immerse yourself in someone else and feel them out …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:58 PM
6

What is super interesting about this is that I am a leftist but can't stand vetting. I don't want my politics to be turned into a checklist. Sorry, but you can figure out what the fuck I believe by having an actual conversation with me and not getting me to put every single bit out in bite size forms. A lot of women who vet for politics are less interested in you as a politically engaged person and someone they can talk to and just as someone who doesn't have problematic views. It's a low bar to…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:56 PM
3

Then vetting is used as an excuse to reject him. I disagree because I pass vets and do the slow fade to women I have dated. The problem is that I am super bored if they asked me about my personal politics the whole date in checklist form to look for red flags instead of having an actual conversation with me about politics. By the end, I lose interest. Here is the other reason you come across the dynamic you come across and you are unwittingly setting this dynamic up yourself. I disagree because,…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:54 PM
2

Interesting take. every formal date you go on is playing into the female imperative and against yours as a man I find the use of the word imperative interesting because my take on dating is you have to enjoy the ride because the chances of finding love are slim, right? That is why I try to do fun things on dates, have interesting conversations, etc. If a woman is as serious about finding love as I am, it may actually hinder her goals and work against my chief imperative, provided that she is mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:48 PM
9

I understand women's fears, but I am also a gentle and well adjusted person that keeps his hands to himself and respects boundaries, so I don't do anything on a date to warrant 'not feeling safe'. It's hard, because how long can you keep looking for red flags? How many questions can you ask? When does a question become inappropriate and insinuate something bad instead of being valid? What constitutes a red flag? Do murders, rapists, traffickers, stalkers, etc. even give off obvious red flags? Ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:44 PM
2

Reading your comment, my first thought was "Is he in a place with an excess of women and not enough men?"Sure enough, you're in New York. The gender ratios in New York City are some of the best ratios for men anywhere in the US. Yeah, I have heard this from many people, which I find fascinating. You have no idea how many Brooklynites have insisted that dating is easy in New York City because there are so many ugly men. On that note, are there other US cities that have comparable ratios?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 10:11 AM
1

Nah, your point was garbage. That's why you appeal to evolutionary biology and common sense, as well as double speech. It's plain and obvious, and you continue this discussion after being done with it. It's pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 09:57 PM
1

The case stands that you are stooping to petty insults because you don't have a legitimate point... pathetic nonetheless. There are other fallacies that you are utilizing, anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 09:28 PM
1

Yes it's hardwired but there are other things hardwired and several layers of other preferences on top of it. There is a difference between saying this and saying people are diverse and complicated. I'm definitely making excuses though. I tried to say it nicely. You are not interesting; I feel like babysitting, responding to sloppy arguments, and I have to repeat twice. I refuse to continue for free Ad hominem. Pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 02:07 PM
1

Why do we like to be cooled down when it's hot ? This is hardwired, you just stopped thinking too early. It's not neuroscience, it's evolutionary biology. It's not hardwired when plenty of people don't like ice cream, and dipping away from neuroscience is such a pseudoscientific copout. You are propping up a false equivalency and avoiding the context to not think critically. The burden of proof falls on you yet you fail to deliver, nor can you even own your points. I'm done because you don't put…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 01:38 PM
1

Yes it's hardwired but there are other things hardwired and several layers of other preferences on top of it. This seems very evolutionary psychology-esque bullshit. What position are you in to say it is hardwired? Are you a neuroscientist? You use the term hardwired quite boldly, so I am going to ask you to define it and find hard evidence for it. The burden of proof is on you. When you say "people like ice cream in summer". It doesn't mean everyone only eat exclusively ice cream. And no one sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:37 PM
1

Abusive relationships rarely, if ever, start out abusive. Look up lovebombing and idealization in abuse patterns if you're interested. Yes, absolutely, though the low-key, subtle stuff, like gaslighting, may start early.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:19 PM
1

But when you make statements like... Yes. Women like fear. It is like you are painting all or most women with the same brush, and just saying that there are other qualities that they like in addition to that, as if they are all hardwired that way. Serial killers get love letters, but maybe that is just an extreme type? A lot of women don't like bodybuilders, but there is some portion of women that is likely crazy for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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