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IcyTrapezium Archive

View 3 posts and 3,158 comments by IcyTrapezium on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I think a lot of the women who say that are either bitter femcels, joining a trend just to gas women up, don’t actually see these women as attractive they just appreciate hairstyles and makeup, or even they’re just not actually straight. Comphet is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:00 PM
15

It’s both party’s responsibility to be honest about what they want and ensure compatibility with their partner. If they aren’t honest and they don’t get what they want, they only have themselves to blame. You’re right it isn’t just his obligation. Expecting only him to be responsible for these conversations is infantilizing the women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:02 AM
2

I have to assume you either live in a small town or don’t go out and talk to strangers at trendy bars and restaurants on Saturday night. There are definitely good looking men at those places
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:57 PM
16

This isn’t something straight women attracted to men usually think. I live in a city and see attractive men regularly when I go out to bars and restaurants.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:21 PM
3

No. That would likely end up being a waste of time. Attraction is an important component in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:28 PM
–

Yes men seduce with shoulder to waist ratio, height, testosterone driven facial structures (strong jaw, prominent brow, defined cheekbones) hair, beards, muscles, large penis, deep voices etc. why would men have breasts other than pecs? They don’t breastfeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 03:44 AM
0

Men who live off women are not extremely rare especially in lower socioeconomic classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:34 AM
2

A lot of women are just following a social script. They don’t actually find women sexier but they may notice women out much more effort into their appearance. I wish more men grew out their hair, styled it well, wore a bit of tinted moisturizer or concealer and some subtle eye liner. It’s a shame how men used to wear makeup and then a shift happened after the French Revolution to men not wearing colorful clothes, makeup, wigs, heels and stockings anymore. It made men more beautiful and that’s wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:32 AM
–

The male of the species is the seducer. That’s why in the animal kingdom the males are more colorful and more ornamental with horns and tusks, etc. Men are supposed to seduce women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:30 AM
1

I prefer watching the man’s back and butt moving in and out of her. I don’t want to see the woman’s butt or much of the woman at all and I hate hearing women make noises in porn. I only want to hear men moaning. I watch a lot of men solo masturbating for this reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:53 PM
2

I don’t find the female face or body beautiful, unless it’s an androgynous face. I find fit young men gorgeous and am confused why anyone would prefer women. They look ungainly to me. But I’m a straight woman so…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:52 PM
1

So this was self-reporting then? We know women understate the importance of physical attractiveness and overstate the importance of earning potential. Your link was a of a few hundred university undergrad students in 2 countries. This one is of around 10 thousand people I believe in several countries, if you’re interested: Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences un…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:48 PM
7

Could you like the studies?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:58 PM
6

Only push I have it’s the same as how a man might want a relationship with you but doesn’t desire you or a woman desires you for sex but not a relationship. It’s weird yall act like male hobo-sexual and female sluts who enjoy casuals NSA sex don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:57 PM
4

He didn’t say always. He later embellished on that and said sometimes they didn’t cum at all. Idk why people act like young people can’t be good at sex. My high school sweetheart was great at oral. Most men love when you gently direct them with oral. Most women I’ve been told by men don’t communicate though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:58 AM
4

Yeah I call it a trance. I enter a trance like state after the first orgasm sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:29 AM
1

True but not if the woman is on top or the one doing the movement in other positions. I like doing the movement in doggy style while the man stays still. It’s the only way I can orgasm from that position.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:23 AM
3

Yeah I can orgasm without touching myself just by thinking about super sexy scenarios and visuals. I feel pretty lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:22 AM
16

I come within a minute of fingering and multiple times from oral and PIV. It’s strange to me when women act like that isn’t possible. It’s the norm for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:45 AM
9

It’s usually psychological. Very rarely have I encountered a woman who couldn’t orgasm from sex who didn’t have some psychological hang up around sex. Dig enough and you’ll find it. Sometimes it seems to be anatomical or hormonal though, but that’s more rare especially in younger women. Edited to add: I forgot to mention medications. Sometimes it’s because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:44 AM
–

Most women and men do experience spontaneous attraction just like most men and women experience responsive desire. It’s a weird Reddit myth that most women only have responsive desire. Even the books they usually reference like Come as You Are don’t claim that. As an aside: responsive desire includes seeing your partner and desiring them. It’s any desire that involves an outside stimulus. Spontaneous desire is literally spontaneous. I see a lot of people on Reddit act like responsive desire mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:45 PM
–

I watch a lot of porn. The vast majority of porn is not violent. Besides, it’s more so women than men consuming violent porn. That’s more a woman’s kink. Studies all show this. Women like watching CNC stuff. They like reading it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:40 PM
–

I can only think of Girls and that’s because Dunham was in charge. They had her sleeping with plenty of men much more conventionally attractive than her. The only movie I can think of is Dinner in America.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:38 PM
–

They don’t think these will be a reality. They don’t think they’re going to have sex with their stepsister while she’s “stuck in a dryer” somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:15 PM
–

Porn didn’t make men unrealistic about sex. Men know tall ripped pizza boys with 8 inch dicks fucking a milf is fantasy. Men aren’t stupid. None of what you’re talking about is because of porn. Most women watch porn too and we don’t expect pizza boys to look like they do in porn. Women are not more intelligent than men or more media literate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:33 PM
–

So you denied the other ones what you call the greatest thing you can ever get in the area of relationships. It’s beyond comparison. But you didn’t give them that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:58 AM
–

Sure. Were you also a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:35 AM
–

That’s cool! Out of curiosity: are you a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:08 AM
–

Were they your first? Most of what you describe is just a healthy and nice relationship and has nothing to do with being someone’s first.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:07 AM
2

Basically everyone likes variety and yet most people are socially serially monogamous. Youth is attractive on everyone and to everyone. There is a reading Hollywood leading men typically have many desires in common including being young. But people tend to also prefer to be with people near their age. There is a reason Jeff Bezos married a woman in her mid-fifties. And woman like saggy skin on men? Refer to the above. Men and women cheat but most men and women do not cheat. Yeah a lot of men and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:56 AM
–

I’m primarily attracted to Latino men with long legs, long hair, full lips, and toned bodies. After that they have to be laid back, easy going and treat me incredibly well. Everyone prefers socially and emotionally competent partners unless they’re also incompetent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:52 AM
–

We just are attracted to physically attractive men. Naturally many women will also be attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:40 AM
–

Right. Your concern is about what goes on in men’s minds not so much what goes on in the woman’s mind. Many men seem to select partners based on what other men (including men they don’t know) think about her. It’s strange as a woman because I select men based on attraction and compatibility. I don’t care what other women think about him I care what I think about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:35 AM
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This is interesting. Your worry presumably is what other men think, not what the woman thinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:27 AM
–

Nah just always had healthy relationships with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:49 AM
–

But being a millionaire is valuable and fun. A partner’s virginity isn’t valuable or fun outside religious fundamentalist groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:30 AM
–

Men who are sexually desirable absolutely hold power. Saying women hold the power just indicates you’ve only experienced relationships with women who didn’t desire you much but you desired them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:28 AM
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That’s not nature. That’s certain cultures. Regardless in most cultures parents want grandchildren.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:26 AM
–

You consider sex to be striking a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:25 AM
–

If you think of sex in such a negative way and gross way I hope you’re not having it. I’m so thankful I’m not infected with this sex-negative mind disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:37 AM
–

Your experience isn’t universal. The orgasm gap has always been in my favor especially with oral. I always felt bad for men that they can’t have multiple orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:28 AM
–

Yeah… I don’t have sex with men who think they’re damaging me by having sex with me. Never slept with a conservative or sex-negative man. I haven’t risked that much. But I’m on birth control, am pro-choice, vaccinated against HPV and always used condoms with hook ups. I’ve never had a condom break. I understand not all women can tolerate birth control. What I gained was lots of orgasms and good stories. I never have thought of it as my hole getting stuffed. That’s so… gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:26 AM
–

I agree with this take. You explain this well. I used to really not understand why some women would say they were used for sex. When I have sex, it’s for the experience and the orgasms. But yeah they’re basically using themselves to try to get something which is so gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:39 AM
–

If you experience sex as being “used for your hole” then don’t have sex. I have sex for all the orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:37 AM
–

What does that mean? Thinking about it as getting your hole stuffed? When I think about getting laid it is a positive thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:37 AM
-1

I’ve never noticed feminists promoting hooking up. More so I’ve seen them say it’s not wrong. I talk about enjoying hooking up a lot in my youth but I don’t think that’s really “promoting” it. And I’ve never said it was “empowering.” It’s just extremely pleasurable and fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:11 AM
4

Yes of course I’ve known men in situationships where they wanted more. I have a lot of male friends. Some have mentioned this happening to them. The last time I was in a situationships it was the guy who pushed for us to officially date and be monogamous. I went along with that for a couple months but there was a reason I was hesitant in the beginning and I ended up breaking up with him. He was neurotic and it stressed me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:05 AM
8

For men and women: Insecurity. Secure people aren’t afraid of clarifying a relationship. This doesn’t apply to situationships where the participants are happy. Some people like the “will they won’t they” dynamic because it can be thrilling in its own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:00 AM
0

Well he paid way more than dollar store prices. Diploma mills are pricey since you’re basically buying a degree. He apparently is licensed though so he managed to pass boards. He’s not a dummy. But he is a grifter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:56 AM
–

Women who don’t want to be fully functioning adults don’t like making decisions. That’s what a lot of this boils down to. They want to be passenger princesses in life. That works for some women until it doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:16 AM
6

I was curious about how he managed to get advanced degrees in psychology. He went to a diploma mill: Alliant International University. He apparently used to make reasonable content but he gets almost all his views talking about how women peak at 18, so that’s his shtick now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:14 AM
2

If a woman is not meeting socially expected duties for women she will be more stressed than a man not meeting duties not expected of him. This has nothing to do with innate wiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:20 PM
1

Isn’t the reason we have more autoimmune diseases because our immune systems are stronger than men’s? So our immune systems go into overdrive more. So why would we naturally be cleaner? But this doesn’t prove it’s biological. If I’m expected to be the one keeping the home clean and will be judged more if it isn’t. when it isn’t clean I will be more stressed, surely? But I agree! If it was really about protecting and providing this would include providing a protected environment. That’s protectin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:17 PM
9

I’ve seen fathers teach sons to “do a bad job and she won’t ask you to do (insert task) again.” This is passed down. Men aren’t stupid. Men are very smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:11 PM
4

Is it? What are those reasons? Women are raised to be the ones cleaning up after men and we are judged more harshly for not keeping a clean household, but what biological reason is that? Women aren’t more susceptible to disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:09 PM
2

Where are you getting this about brain wiring making clutter more of an issue for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:07 PM
3

Who is proud of masturbation? Are you? What an odd interpretation of making factual statements about masturbation. If we can’t trust men on surveys perhaps your male acquaintances aren’t being accurate in their self-assessments particularly when talking to you. Do you actually discuss with precision how often you masturbate with your male friends? I don’t with my platonic friends. But I do with all my boyfriends since the relationship is already sexual in nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:02 PM
2

No need to get emotional. Surveys are often unreliable. Women definitely lie about how much they masturbate. I personally do masturbate every day but my boyfriend only masturbates about once a week. Most men I’ve dated masturbated less than me, probably because I can have endless orgasms and men really can’t. But if you can’t trust surveys how do you know most men masturbate every other day? Men lie about this, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:44 AM
4

Are you sure about that? “masturbation habits of American men aged 18 and older and found that: 89.6% report that they’ve masturbated at some point during their lifetime. 60.1% have masturbated at least once in the past month. 24.2% reported not masturbating at all in the past year. Among American men aged 18 and older, 17.2% reported masturbating a few times in the past year and 6.4% reported doing so once a month during the same period. 16.1% reported masturbating a few times per month in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:08 AM
4

I’ve always had the higher drive in all my relationships. Sometimes during the honeymoon period it’s somewhat equal with me still wanting it a bit more. Idk how reliable this is but supposedly about 1/3 of women have a higher sex drive than the average man. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202212/do-men-really-have-stronger-sex-drives-than-women/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:03 AM
2

No. Never had a man ask about my past other than if I was married and what my longest relationship was. If a man cared about number of sex partners we wouldn’t be compatible. I’d assume he doesn’t have as high of a sex drive as me either if he cared and I’ve had a couple men with much lower sex drives and it made me not enjoy the relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:58 AM
5

Most men won’t even lose weight, use basic skin care or post decent pictures on dating apps. If men on the whole were so sex motivated they would start there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:09 AM
3

Yes. As long as someone is at least near average looking as a man they can have hook ups. For some reason many of the men on here act like that isn’t the case. I’ve been a bartender. I’ve seen just regular dudes hook up with regular women hundreds of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:07 AM
4

Yeah goods and services don’t get pussies wet either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 08:49 AM
8

Money has never made a pussy wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:04 AM
5

Self reporting is notoriously unreliable. Revealed preferences show this to not so much be the case. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg School of Arts and S…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:03 AM
6

Women already have a higher baseline level of oxytocin. Relatively do men really have less of a spike?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:57 AM
4

As I said, the type of women who have casual sex don’t tend to struggle with this. Women who were raised to think having sex without commitment means they are “used” have this issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:54 AM
7

This is something men who haven’t had a lot of casual sex tend to think. The type of women who have casual sex don’t get attached from casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:51 AM
7

Men release oxytocin during and after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:47 AM
6

Where are you getting this information on vasopressin? Could you link a study? When I learned about vasopressin in nursing school it was mainly about it being the antidiuretic hormone. I’ve looked for info on vasopressin and pair boding and all I’ve ever found is one study of prairie voles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:38 AM
2

Most likely not. He had older girlfriends. He’s a serial predator. Not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 05:06 PM
3

Attraction to postpubescent people isn’t pedophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:38 PM
1

It’s not just thrusting it’s essentially kegels. That’s why I’d say rhythmic gripping. You probably can stimulate your own clitoris this way. Also: gspot. You might have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 12:01 PM
4

Gripping is possible in all positions. So is thrusting back. I actually like sex from behind (doggy) where he doesn’t move and I do the thrusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:11 AM
3

Are you gripping him back with intention? If I’m passive it still works but if I grip back rhythmically it stimulates my clitoris all by itself which is kinda cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:58 AM
4

So oral sex. That’s my favorite. Feels incredible. As for clitoris stimulation during missionary I find if he grinds himself against me during penetration right it stimulates my clitoris with his pelvis. Also there is the coital alignment technique.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:43 AM
6

Aren’t you the woman who won’t let her husband go down on her or touch her clitoris during sex? If you let your husband do things with your clitoris you might enjoy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:30 AM
4

Openly expressing it and acting on it is shamed for good reason. I, a 40 year old woman, can admit some 16 year old boys who have gone through puberty can be very attractive. I don’t think many people from my age group (millennial) actually have a problem with that. They’d have a problem with me acting on it. I once was watching a swim competition on mute that I assumed was college level. Nope. Those were high school boys. They looked college aged to me. Swimmers are tall and strong. It didn’t b…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:54 AM
6

I partly disagree. I’ve long said for the majority of cases the issue is psychological. However, much of it is passivity and lack of communication. A lot of women conceptualize of sex as something done to them. They don’t voice their desires and they never even get on top. If your partner gets upset when you give feedback or voice your desires have some gold damn self respect and leave him. There is absolutely no way this is a problem only in the bedroom. Who we are in bed is who we are in life.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:39 AM
2

“Now I am not actually saying modern women should fear man” Somehow I don’t believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:22 AM
1

Nah let the trash take itself out and get taken advantage of. I couldn’t care less about this. I do feel bad for the women having to do maintenance sex with an unattractive man but I assume they’re cheating and have ”headaches” often. I just don’t worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:18 AM
4

I watched the Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert recently with my man. It was his idea and I’d never seen it. I’m gonna say that. Homophobia is never attractive in a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:25 AM
7

Sure. It depends but generally the much younger person is less experienced and is emotionally less mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:56 PM
13

Agree with all of this but want to add: some of them enjoy the power differential. Younger people often put up with more poor treatment because they are naive and have little relationship experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:44 PM
–

The equivalent I think would be what my boyfriend does which is use his hands or mouth on me when he’s not in the mood again yet. But that’s interesting it doesn’t always feel nice to you. Feeling my partners skin and touch basically always feels nice to me unless I’ve checked out of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:56 PM
–

I wouldn’t call consensual sex that feels nice rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:23 PM
–

You experience consensual sex as being “used?” I don’t and neither does my partner when he uses his hands or mouth when he’s not in the mood again yet. I don’t relate to this optional thoughts some of yall have about sex being “dehumanizing” or it being something I’m used for or are using my boyfriend for. We like making each other happy. I’m sorry if you experience sex when you’re not already in the mood as you being used. Sex often gets people in the mood anyway. Some people say they have to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:22 PM
5

No 6’5 is the most liked height for men and at 6’6 women start to like it less. If you graph women’s height preferences it’s like a candy cane with 6’5 being the most liked and it going down after that. Women like 6’5 because it somehow looks the best to most women. I don’t have the study on hand, but this isn’t my opinion. Though I agree 6’5 is ideal and beyond that it looks too tall often. It’s not about wanting the most. Men don’t want the biggest breasts there is a sweet spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:14 PM
–

I’m so sorry that happened. Telling you to “shhh” through pain is sexual abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:21 AM
–

Resentment is definitely a huge relationship killer. In my past I think it may have been the top reason for most breakups.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:16 AM
–

So sorry to hear about your wife. That’s wonderful that she found ways to feel better and feel more human.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:14 AM
–

Absolutely!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:13 AM
–

Nah I don’t starfish. I just don’t find it to be work when it’s missionary.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:12 AM
–

Of course it can for men. I’m confused why you’d doubt that. But to be honest the men I’ve experienced who resented duty sex had a lot of emotional baggage surrounding sex either from religion or conservative influences in their upbringing. Touched out from kids I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:22 AM
–

Fair. Stress definitely has killed some of my ex boyfriend’s libidos. What strikes me though is the language women often use when they complaining about their husbands wanting sex paints their husbands as literally repulsive and their desire for sex offensive. That doesn’t seem like something a woman who likes and is attracted to her husband would feel. I don’t think these women would feel good if their husband talked about them wanting sex that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:19 AM
–

Ugh being touched out sounds awful. Thanks for the response.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:16 AM
–

Well I’m a woman so no I don’t think anal is comparable to vaginal sex. Vaginal sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to do it. But as a woman I can say I’ve rarely experienced vaginal sex as uncomfortable. Usually it’s positional if it is. If it’s painful or uncomfortable for you then obviously I get why that isn’t enjoyable. In my experience most men over the age of 30 don’t really want to have sex more than once a day especially after the honeymoon period.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:13 AM
–

If it painful or uncomfortable then I understand why you wouldn’t want to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:10 AM
–

Offended by the reality? It isn’t reality that sex is dehumanizing. Calling women bitches in heat or men dogs humping the wall is dehumanizing language by design. If you find sex dehumanizing you have issues with sex because consensual sex between two people in love is never inherently dehumanizing unless you make it that way. It’s a beautiful thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:14 AM
–

See? This is a psychological issue. You think missionary sex is dehumanizing. Yeah I just lie there. It’s no work. I touch him and grip him with my vagina but I wouldn’t technically have to do that. I do it because it’s enjoyable. Y’all really just don’t like your partners if watching them worship your body and feel intense pleasure is dehumanizing and violating to yall. It’s genuinely weird and I feel bad for your partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:00 AM
–

Why would sex with a man you love feel violating? That right there points to a psychological issue. Edited to add: if it hurts I obviously get why it’s not enjoyable but sex shouldn’t hurt with prep and/or lube.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:58 AM
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I don’t think it is pathological. Most men over the age of 30ish aren’t going for sex more than once a day. They aren’t “humping the walls like a pit bull.” That is such dehumanizing language. Do you even like the men you date? During the honeymoon period it might be more, but it will settle into max once a day. Men talk a big game, but as a woman with a high sex drive I can attest to this. I don’t get why women don’t want sex once a day. I genuinely think this is some psychological thing. Sex i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:50 AM
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Honest question: why don’t women just have sex to have sex? If it doesn’t hurt and she just lies there I don’t get the big deal. Admittedly I like having sex every day, but even when I’m not in the mood I just go along with sex because it feels nice and it’s not even work for me if he initiates. In missionary I just lie there.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:38 AM
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My experience is the opposite. Men’s libidos tank with stress. I use sex as a stress reliever. I think maybe kids just aren’t as stressful for men. Because men definitely lose their libido with stress. It’s been a problem in my past relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:35 AM
5

“Forbidden fruit” and “common male desire to emulate, supplant or surpass his father” is deep. It’s not just hurr durr actress is hot and experienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:31 PM
6

Exactly. So it is “that deep.”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:23 PM
5

Then why not teacher or coach or friend’s mom? It’s specifically stepmom which is incest adjacent. Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:51 PM
9

Stepmom is vanilla? Isn’t that in the like top three searches lately per pornhub?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:31 AM
13

That’s short hand for “he could be very choosy and still chose me.” Jack’s character in Titanic is poor and Rose is Rich. Women also have manic pixie dream boy fantasies. A recent popular one was Dinner in America. In that movie Simon is a conventionally handsome jobless punk singer and he sweeps a plain Jane off her feet. Women love all kinds of erotic stories as long as the man is handsome.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:29 AM
10

The guy in 50 shades isn’t an asshole is he? He is obsessed with the woman and in the end he tells her she’s “topping from the bottom” so she’s the one really control. Guys really into WWII and war hero movies don’t necessarily want to be at war, do they? If a man has a fantasy about getting shot and returning a war hero is that a fantasy about literally wanting to get shot or a fantasy about being valued? In Fifty Shades the woman is highly valued to an obsessive degree. Many people have compli…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:05 AM
0

Bars. I get approached all the time at bars and I’ve never seen a woman mind if they are approached respectfully and a “no thank you” is respected.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:29 AM
2

The idea this is particularly gendered I’ll disagree with. People complain about dating no matter what. If there isn’t something to complain about they’ll make something up to be dissatisfied by. When I was hooking up a lot I would meet men who were annoyed I didn’t want to take things further. Were they truly wanting to take things further or they really liked the idea of me wanting more? Sometimes I genuinely think they just were offended I didn’t want them for more than sex. But deep down the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:26 AM
1

Of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 08:29 PM
0

Of course. It’s a primary drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:54 PM
2

Yes. All of life’s pleasures are optional. If you were a woman you’d want to have sex. It’s an option you would likely choose out of instinct. So sex is optional, but probable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:51 PM
7

Women could also choose to only eat tasteless food designed to only provide nutrients and no pleasure. But most people want and are going to eat bacon. Sex is a normal human drive. Of course it’s a choice. It’s a choice 99 percent of people are going to make because of human nature. We’re designed to have sex drives (most of us).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:47 PM
3

I wasn’t addressing anything else. Motherhood is optional for some women. Rural impoverished women in states with no access to abortion might not experience it as optional.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:42 PM
3

I agree with the orgasm gap comment. I don’t think that’s the only reason but I think it’s a big part of it. Many women expect men to give them orgasms and be mind readers. Get on top! Control the pace to how you like it! Tell him how to give oral. Etc. etc
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:40 PM
4

That would be taking away someone’s rights, would it not? Both the father’s and the child’s right to a relationship with their father. But I don’t have a firm opinion on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:37 PM
2

I agree with this take. Men shouldn’t be held responsible for a child if they sign away their rights during the pregnancy. Instead of having unwilling men pay I’d prefer we got universal health care, tuition free college, expanded SNAP benefits, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:56 PM
1

Women can also easily feel interest in a man who ignores her. Ever heard of a crush? Those are usually unrequited. They are especially common in the young. Millions of high school girls right now are pining for some boy who doesn’t like them back.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:42 AM
1

The attention makes them more attracted though. Men like available sex partners and will pay more attention to women who signal availability (like through giving the man attention). Men love attention from women they consider decent enough looking. For women the man also has to be decent enough looking. You know the trope “he’s only a creep if he’s not attractive.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:40 AM
3

Yeah and vice versa. There are countless more men I would hook up with than men I’d share a life with. Again. This is a really weird misconception. Women have lower standards for hook ups. That’s why they’re just hook ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:27 AM
4

I had never heard of DeCrow. Thank you for mentioning her. I’ve now gone down a rabbit hole about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:25 AM
13

Ruining his life is not valid. I support men not supporting unwanted children. I also support children, so the state should pick up the slack. A lot of people don’t agree with me though and don’t think the state has a duty to support children. Many people are “pro-life” up until birth and then fuck ‘em.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:05 AM
3

Pregnancy is traumatic and painful regardless of survival. Not to mention child rearing is a full time job and children should not be a punishment for sex. They’re human beings and treating them like a punishment doled out to people who have sex is pretty sick and shows a lack of regard for the experiences of children. Why have sex? Sex is a basic human need for most people. It’s one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Condoms break. Birth control isn’t 100 percent effective. You know t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:02 AM
3

As a woman who hooked up a lot while single: no. This is a REALLY weird misconception on this sub. I had much lower standards for hook ups. That’s why I only hooked up with them. They were cute enough and the vibes and chemistry were there. I’d had a couple drinks and so had they. One thing lead to another. Etc. etc. I never cared how intelligent or responsible or interesting they were. They just had to have good vibes and be good looking enough. All my boyfriends had to be handsome in the way I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:53 AM
4

For the same reason anyone feels something for someone in pain. Pregnancy fucking sucks. It’s life threatening and can be extremely painful. Have you watched live birth especially one with complications? I had to several times in nursing school and it sealed the deal for me not wanting children. I will never forget the screams I heard on the labor and delivery unit. Heard way less screaming during my ER rotation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:45 AM
2

Size matters to me. Girth matters most. I don’t like more than 7 inches and 5 is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:19 PM
10

I’m on the deadbedrooms sub because I’ve been in two deadbedrooms that were with me wanting sex and my bf suddenly stopped. The women there would disagree with you. Disagree about the cheating too. That’s just a women are wonderful effect thing. Women cheat just to cheat and according to a study (don’t have link) women rate their affair partners as more sexually attractive but less attractive for a relationship. That’s why they cheat and don’t divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:15 PM
1

I mean they had their own places they just worked very, very low paying jobs and had like 75k in student debt for a masters degree they weren’t using. Both of them and they both were artists. I don’t think they were players. I don’t think any of my friends dated players. It’s just women will put up with a lot for a hot musician or artist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:57 AM
3

I’d say in my friend group and for myself women end up with like the second or third best looking guy we’ve slept with. The best looking guy is usually either something like unemployed, an alcoholic, or abusive. Sometimes all three or something else weird or psychiatric in nature. He gets laid because of his looks but women tend to not want him. The two best looking men I ever dated (conventionally speaking I think my partner now is just as hot, but just going by metrics like height and jawline …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:36 AM
8

I’ve never heard of women either being obsessed or finding the person completely unattractive. I’ve had flings with men I thought were cute or sexy but not handsome in the way I wanted for a LTR. I was still very sexually attracted to those average guys but nowhere near “obsessed” with them. I don’t think I’m unusual. There are levels to attraction. It’s not binary at all with me. Also most women aren’t married to Henry Cavill level men and are attracted to both their husbands and the unattainab…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:30 AM
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If she doesn’t care and doesn’t have a desire to change this then pushing it could cause problems. Personally, if my boyfriend couldn’t orgasm from sex, I’d not have continued seeing him. I always orgasm from sex and the times he doesn’t orgasm (usually because we already had sex a couple hours earlier) I find it less fulfilling. So I understand why you care. Maybe this is an incompatibility? If you don’t feel this is a big enough incompatibility perhaps work on changing your thoughts around wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:12 AM
2

Which sub is this?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:29 AM
1

That sounds awful. I like men too much and I don’t want more competition for men tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:47 AM
15

Yeah I don’t get bombarded with overtly sexual messages. Men are generally respectful. I am not saying I’ve never been sent an unsolicited dick pic, but it’s rare. I’ve gotten fewer than 5 I’d say, and that’s out of hundreds of messages. I have had men be weird and emotionally volatile (rant about an ex suddenly or say something weird and bigoted) but that happens in real life just as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:12 AM
17

For the same reason if I give a man attention he’s more likely to be interested in me. People like attention. Were you unaware that being open and available makes people more attractive to each other? This is equally if not more true of men. I rarely flirt with a guy and get a negative reaction. It often causes the man to fixate on me through the night.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:09 AM
7

I had an ex who mentioned he liked going down on his past girlfriend but just didn’t want to do that anymore with anyone. He actually just stopped wanting sex period. Why did he say that to me? Because he was a weird asshole. People say stupid shit in the relationships when they have low emotional intelligence and don’t think about how their actions impact others.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:44 AM
15

The idea in general that men don’t want commitment is trash. The literature shows men push for commitment sooner and fall in love faster than women. Men want commitment as much if not more than women. The reason some women doubt this is because they have experience with men who have dated them and think they can do better. The unfortunate truth is men will date for extended periods of time women they think they can do better than. Women are less likely to do that. So if a woman is dating a man f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:28 AM
1

Yes but even in the beginning it can be the man controlling sex. I’m a first date sex kinda woman and I’ve been turned down a few times by men who then asked me on a second date. I only gave the one example above because we ended up living together so I won’t be accepting the argument that he just didn’t find me attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:48 PM
1

I know you’re being hyperbolic for effect and I take your point, but plenty of men are the gatekeepers of sex inside of relationships. I do understand your point but it’s not the only dynamic. I’ve had a man I later lived (so he did like me obviously) with turn me down for sex on the first date. He said he just didn’t do that. We ended up in a relationship. I’ve been in other relationships where I had to just wait for the man to initiate because if I initiated the answer would be no. Been in a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:45 PM
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I think you’re probably right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:52 AM
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I’m guessing at least in large part, yes. Agreed. What I don’t get is why an asexual person who does like sex so much that it feels like violation (rape) would partner with someone who does like sex? That’s extremely stupid and unless it’s a forced marriage my sympathy is rather limited especially these days now that asexuality is talked about and women can earn their own living much more easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:44 AM
3

Agreed. And the equivalent is plenty of conservative and traditional men expect their wife to work full time for pay outside the home but also do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing labor. It benefits them financially to snatch up that opportunity made more possible by feminism. Obligatory mention: Women always worked but often with their husband or in lower paying jobs that allowed women. Turns out men and women like money.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:21 AM
9

I think they spot the contradiction usually but don’t care. It’s just hypocrisy. Or insecurity. Some women think if a man really truly likes you he’d not let you pay, and the thing is that is true with some more traditional men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:15 AM
1

I don’t think this is always it. Plenty of women are dying for a man to give them the princess treatment. They don’t just expect it they crave it because they want to be that desired by the man they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:07 AM
10

Because some of the women these particular men do want to date expect men to pay for dates. It’s that simple. They don’t like losing access to women. They know some women don’t care but some do. They aren’t actually passionate about an egalitarian relationship because if they were they’d be happy to lose access to women wanting princess treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:51 AM
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I don’t quite understand your desire to paint me as needing to “chill out” and all of this a “quirky interest.” All these lols are strange too. More relationships have men wanting more sex. And 45 million American women have a higher sex drive than the average man. These two things exist at the same time. What is your issue exactly with me pointing out that stereotypes have limited applicability? Even more so what is your issue with me pointing out how stereotypes can cause harm? It’s like you’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:07 AM
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Ideally they would but people have mismatched libidos in relationships not uncommonly. Only with the relationship I am in now (and the best on I’ve ever had) did I really seriously screen for libido. Stupidly when young I assumed men would just have a high libido. Big mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:24 AM
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As a woman who has been in a couple dead bedrooms I would never downplay the suffering of sexlessness. Shit sucks and it hurts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:22 AM
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1/3 of women have a higher drive than the average man isn’t the same sentence as 1/3 of women have the same drive as the average man. Why should I assume that top libido women go after top libido men? Men often overstate their libido and the honeymoon period makes frequent sex seem plausible. I’ve been fooled before. The women in the dead bedroom sub have been fooled oftentimes. Now that I’m older and wiser and know how to screen men I’m with a man with a libido that makes him want sex once or m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:10 AM
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Sure. You are one of the men who have higher drives. If it helps you emotionally to know women are pickier than men on average and that on average men have higher sex drives, that’s great. This doesn’t change the fact that in my country alone 45 million women have a higher sex drive than the average man. For some reason men with high drives just can’t understand how many men don’t have super high drives. Why does this upset y’all so much? Women with high sex drives can tell you a lot of men (esp…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:05 AM
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So they entered a sexual relationship with someone they don’t find sexually attractive? Then they are the author of their own problems. I hope those men find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere. The women too. Sounds like a fundamental incompatibly in the relationship. I don’t think it’s healthy to normalize incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:55 AM
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Honest question: why don’t you want to have sex with a man I presume you love and find attractive specifically? And why does it feel like rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:34 AM
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It’s also normal for healthy men to have a 24 hour refractory period just like it’s normal to have a 30 minute one (though that becomes much more rare over the age of like 35). Some men can get hard for a small time a few hours after sex but can’t stay hard enough for sex or achieve orgasm. Why are you saying “it’s not that deep?” What are you trying to say? My response seems to annoy you. 45 million American women having a higher sex drive than the average man doesn’t mean men don’t on average …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:31 AM
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Are you under the impression I said men don’t on average report higher drives than women? The article I linked said 1/3 of women have a higher drive than the average man not 2/3. 1/3 in my country is still 45 million women. That’s just in America. My point is it’s a lot of women, not most. It also is harmful for some men. I’ve witnessed men experience real emotional distress over their refractory periods. Just like erection dysfunction can cause emotional distress to a man so can having a natura…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:21 AM
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I explained how it can be harmful to some men and women. It isn’t harmful to all people. But a more nuanced take is more helpful. 1/3 of women have a higher sex drive than the average man according to the link below. That’s not a small number of women. “After completing their meta-analysis, Frankenbach and colleagues found that when sex drive is defined as they proposed, men do, on average, have higher sex drives than women. However, there was wide variability in sex drive among both men and wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:02 AM
3

What’s most useful is to speak specifically and not try to push people into little boxes. “After completing their meta-analysis, Frankenbach and colleagues found that when sex drive is defined as they proposed, men do, on average, have higher sex drives than women. However, there was wide variability in sex drive among both men and women. As a result, about a third of the women surveyed indicated a higher sex drive than that of the average man. These results fall in line with other research on g…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:55 AM
9

Feeling raped by consensual sex has nothing to do with mismatched libidos. How does this make any sense to you? The reason people point out stereotypes about libidos are misleading is because so many women have higher drives than the average man and so many men have lower drives than the average woman. The variance is great. I’ve been in a few relationships where my libido far out paced the man and when I was young it made me feel awful. All advice online was “he must be cheating, gay or he does…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:43 AM
1

No I just pretended to be in my car as I fell asleep and once I started drifting I could control the dreams to an extent and was aware I was dreaming. The dreams would start with me suddenly being in my car that I was imagining as I fell asleep.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:03 AM
1

Years ago I was good at it. It was fun but sometimes I’d lose control of the dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 05:55 AM
2

We can only hope more feminists adopt her stance. I think it’s important we spotlight feminists like her who fought for equality for men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:44 PM
1

Agreed wholeheartedly. I have issues with Ruth Bader Ginsburg but she did some good things for men. She and the ACLU’s women’s rights project which she founded. Shamelessly pulled from Google results shitty “ai overview” because I’m a night shifter and late to bed: Social Security "Parent Benefit" (Weinberger v. Wiesenfeld, 1975): Ginsburg represented a widower whose wife died in childbirth. At the time, the government only granted survivor benefits to mothers, denying fathers the same. The Supr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:15 PM
3

The feminism most needed today focuses on material conditions not on trying to be society’s psychologist or trying to make sure no one ever has hurt feelings. Things like affordable childcare (aka relief from unpaid caregiving/labor) would radically change the lives of women (and men). Addressing systemic inequalities beyond lip service is the single most important thing feminists could do in my country right now. The social programs I listed all further equality for women and all people. They w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:53 PM
1

Feminism that is anti-trans, anti-sex work, anti-porn doesn’t align with my beliefs. “Lean in” you just need to do capitalism harder isn’t really something I agree with either. I support feminism that advocates for universal health care, low cost child care, public school providing breakfast and lunch to all kids regardless of income, and tuition free public higher education. Some feminists are essentially libertarians (in the American sense of the word) and I disagree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:45 AM
0

Some woman may find them attractive enough. Most people date people similar to themselves including similarly attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:38 AM
4

Yes, looks are the primary stimulus of initial attraction. This doesn’t make other factors meaningless. I wouldn’t date an anxious man or rude man or one who never laughs. I’ve been on dates with all three types of men and I thought they were attractive but we never progressed beyond a few dates because I was no longer interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:36 AM
0

It’s not meant as an excuse but an explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:34 AM
3

No the woman with the biter doesn’t sound emotionally healthy. I have no idea about other women that rejected you. I’m saying a lot of men and women are not emotionally healthy and aren’t looking for an emotionally healthy partner. That doesn’t mean they don’t have personality preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:05 AM
4

I’m telling you the truth. A lot of women aren’t emotionally healthy themselves and a lot of men and women don’t care about having an emotionally healthy partner. They care about having a fun, exciting or attractive one that makes them feel some feeling they want to feel. Most people I’d argue weren’t raised by two emotionally healthy parents. They go for what is exciting or easy or what relives an old pattern and feels normal to them. This biter may have been fun, funny and charming at times. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:59 AM
6

Oh personality is extremely important in dating. Men just still have to already be attractive to the woman. But once the attraction threshold is met then personality does matter. This text about a biter who told people he could kill them could only be from a woman who isn’t emotionally healthy themselves. Healthy women who aren’t violent themselves wouldn’t date someone like what you described.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:50 AM
6

Which feminist trends are you talking about? What feminist theory have you read? If by feminist trends you mean random women with no published works bitching about men they’ve dated on TikTok, I’d suggest engaging with serious feminist thinkers. While I agree being annoying or abrasive can be offputting to otherwise swayable people, it often makes no difference. Trump could suddenly develop humility and his policies would still be revolting to the same people who voted against him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:47 AM
2

We didn’t evolve as farmers. We evolved as hunter-gatherers who were nomadic. Women on a primal level are attracted to what was healthy during 95% of human history. Modernity is a footnote. We’ve been around 300,000 ish years and only have been farming for 11,000 years. The idea that facial attractiveness doesn’t matter is odd. If competition was low due to number of people or because all men produced about the same amount (you don’t explain why it’s low) then it was low for women as well. So th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:36 PM
1

I don’t think it’s wrong to pay for sex. I’d look down on a man who paid for sex with a person who clearly has an abusive pimp, but many online escorts aren’t working for a pimp; they are working for themselves. Lying with the intent to get something out of a relationship is unethical. So the lying is worse. That being said would I date a man who paid for sex? Maybe if it was once when he was very young. But if it was more than once, no. Not because I think it’s wrong but because I don’t want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:31 PM
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Who he is attracted me at first. His looks, kindness, playfulness, calm attitude, etc. What made me fall in love was how I feel around him. My whole nervous system relaxes. He’s just so loving and laid back.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:23 PM
2

Visual cues of usefulness (aka health, ideal body shape and size) are visually attractive. It means broad shoulders, narrow waist, firm and muscular butt, long and muscular limbs, low body fat, healthy skin, healthy teeth and thick, healthy hair. Basically be young, fit and tall. Men aren’t less attractive than women. You just don’t find the male form attractive. Straight women do find men with bodies like the statue of David attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:19 PM
2

You cry and have no idea why? That’s frightening tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:52 PM
1

Do you feel crazy as woman? It always interests me when women say this because I don’t ever feel crazy. The implication seems to be my hormones would make me crazy, but they do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:54 PM
3

Men have more consumer debt. Do they save more but also have more debt?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:49 AM
1

Well they don’t protect and provide for their wives with terminal illnesses at the same rate women do for their terminal husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:13 PM
2

Usually Medicare/medicaid/VA benefits and social security is paying by the time they’re in the ICU or nursing homes in the USA.of course sometimes a full month isn’t covered for whatever reason and family has to chip in. I can’t tell you who does that usually. Protecting and providing for parents in nursing homes would include showing up and checking on them. Abuse and neglect is rampant in nursing homes and it’s a well reported problem in the media. The daughters also bring them the snack they …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:58 AM
3

As a nurse I can tell you the daughter/s is/are far more likely to advocate for aging parents and that includes protecting and providing for them. It’s very rarely the son/s. Sometimes if the son is a health care professional they’ll get involved but honestly that’s like 50 percent of the time just a way for them to feel smarter than the medical staff at the hospital or care home and point out how we’re doing everything wrong and he would know because he’s a fill in the blank. I’ve worked ICU an…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:03 AM
9

Same as how it has been as a woman. A few long term monogamous relationships. In between those monogamous relationships lots of hooking up and FWB. My boyfriend has a similar background to mine though he hooked up even more I think and did a lot more experimental kinky stuff. I was more of a have three different FWBs for a few months and maybe a couple one night stands before I get back in a relationship kinda gal. My bf didn’t really do FWB so he had a lot more one night stands and short flings…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:30 AM
13

I’ve never had a man protect me. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be protected from? Living in modern America I don’t ever require protection. I go out alone at night all the time and am fine. Everyone knows what neighborhoods are best avoided by men and women. Being a tall, muscular man won’t stop a bullet. I don’t care about being provided for. But I make more money than most people. I find women from lower socioeconomic classes more openly care about this. Maybe because they’re afraid …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:18 AM
9

Unscientific drivel.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/26 10:06 PM
1

Nah I’m a die hard Marxist who cares about worker exploitation. I just know as a former sex worker and a current nurse that I’ve been abused physically, sexually, economically and emotionally far more as a nurse at a public hospital than I ever was as a sex worker. Worker exploitation is the problem. Not people liking fucking or watching fucking. No one ever threatened to kill me on the job as a sex worker or screamed at me for not risking my back because I waiting on a hoyer lift for a morbidly…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:14 AM
1

Nope. Nerdy men usually enjoy knowing a lot about the things they like. So if they like performing oral sex they tend to be outstanding. I speak from personal experience. Bring on the nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:01 AM
9

Because I lust after attractive men. My lust requires attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:58 AM
1

It’s puritanical to dislike other people (who are none of your business) enjoying watching sex. No one cares what you want to do. Why are you against people doing what they like to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:54 AM
1

Thinking porn needs to be regulated isn’t anti-porn though. It’s pro-regulation. You call yourself anti-porn. So yeah. I’m going to assume you’re against people enjoying watching sex which is puritanical.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:45 AM
1

Oh for sure. It’s not my kink, but in my experience a lot of cnc is for the woman, not the man. It’s a way for women to be pillow princesses. A way for men to do basically all the work and the woman to get to turn her brain off and not have to feel guilt about sex and for her to feel the man has an overwhelming extreme desire for her. It’s also a way for a woman to get everything she wants without the indignity of having to ask for it. There’s a certain type of non-kinky person who doesn’t quite…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:28 AM
1

In my experience anti-porn people refuse to believe plenty of people like making porn. This usually stems from an anti-sex attitude and a general infantilization of women. It’s almost always Puritanism dressed up as feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:19 AM
-2

I’m glad you get it. And some forms of objectification are fun for everyone involved. I get that’s too nuanced for PPD though. I always say as long as people’s subjectivity isn’t denied, some consensual objectification is fun. Maybe these women would enjoy porn and sex more if they engaged in some light objectification of men. And I seriously doubt my boyfriend cares if I just think about his dick or arms sometimes. If anything he’s flattered.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:48 PM
6

Depends on the objectification and how the participants think about it and what they desire. There are many types of objectification and that pickmeisha whose work in objectification is what most feminists reference comes from the philosophy departments at Princeton and the University of Chicago. She’s an amazing thinker and writer. Some people enjoy being reduced to a body part temporarily. Or being reduced to their appearance. Being treated as a tool can be a normal part of a job or fun. By th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:36 PM
2

Lots of men and women love objectifying themselves. The feminist philosopher Martha Nussbaum (whose work on theories of objectification is what is usually cited by feminists) writes very persuasively that objectification in some forms can be a positive experience. I think as long as we don’t deny someone’s subjectivity some aspects and forms of objectification are not inherently negative and can indeed be experienced as positive. “More recently, some thinkers, such as Martha Nussbaum, have chall…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:26 PM
5

Sure I can agree there is some misandry but it tends to necessarily be coupled with an anti-sex attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:21 PM
7

Absolutely. I’ve been called a pick-me and a porn addict by women countless times just for saying I really enjoy porn and it improves my sexual life. I just had a woman on here tell me she doesn’t believe if ethical porn were possible to make anyone would make it. The infantilization and de-sexualizaiton of women is so intense it boggles my mind. They don’t give other women agency; it’s so deeply bizarre. Women and all types of people enthusiastically make porn every single days. Tons of it. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:16 PM
4

That’s a good boy. Personally I tap out after 3 or 4 usually from oral. But for a decently long session as you call it ten is possible. Some porn does show cunnilingus portrayed in a dumb way that’s more about the visual of the tongue, but I’ve seen portrayals of really enjoyable looking cunnilingus.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:10 AM
3

Plenty of women are exhibitionists and enjoy releasing porn of themselves solo or with their partners. Let’s not infantilize women. Plenty of us just enjoy this sort of thing. When it isn’t consensual it’s horrible and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law but plenty of people just like making porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:08 AM
0

Citation that most porn actors experience rape in their careers? I follow plenty of feminist porn actors and I highly doubt they’d not speak up about rape in their career. Junk food, pot, Reddit and alcohol can be incredibly addictive but don’t have to be. I’m not looking to snatch diabetes causing chocolate or glasses of red wine out of people’s hands. Not to mention literal child slavery is involved in a great deal of the chocolate production process and exploited workers are known to be a sad…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:04 AM
1

I like watching actors in romance movies too. People like watching actors. I fail to see the problem. And I agree with the other user erotica (written smut) is often way more distorted than porn. So are plenty of romance novels and movies. I mean why can’t my boyfriend be like and look like Caleb Landry Jones pining for me as Dracula for literal centuries, searching the entire globe for my reincarnation and then killing a bunch of bad men to protect me?! That movie was so bad and also so, so goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:49 AM
1

I’m not decentering my pleasure. Quite the opposite I’m doing what works to have multiple orgasms easily every time. I don’t really think about how I look during the act at all, but the idea of how the act looks itself can turn me on. I think about how the male form looks mostly. I have little interest in the female form outside thinking about cunnilingus. I do not think the point of sex is to look good. But looking at visually arousing things makes sex feel even better. I’m not sure why you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:35 AM
4

Good sex positions for me are exciting and feel good. The way the position looks can sometimes be part of the turn on. My boyfriend knows sometimes I have flashes of bodies performing sex acts. It turns me on when all I can see is the ceiling. Sometimes during missionary I like to fantasize about blowjobs. If he told me he sometimes thought of cunnilingus as an image during missionary I wouldn’t care. Actually it kinda would turn me on if he was thinking about that. I love a man who loves giving…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:22 AM
0

Of course I do. Lots of interesting positions I never thought about until watching porn. The porn I generally watch doesn’t distort sex or not feature enthusiastic consent, though I’m aware cnc and bdsm porn genres are more popular with women than men. Just not my bag but I don’t think women who enjoy that should be ashamed. Another way porn helps is it gives me some extremely arousing visuals I can pull from my memory randomly for a few seconds to hasten orgasm if we’re going for a quickie. Sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:06 AM
3

How is it anti-sex? It improves my sex life by giving me ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:19 AM
10

It’s more just anti-sex. They hate when women like me enjoy porn just as much if not more than they hate men enjoying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:18 AM
6

This is a conspiracy theory. Women were working in the workforce for less pay long before they could vote.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:01 AM
3

We didn’t evolve with stored wealth being a reality. We couldn’t even store food for long. You ate what you very recently secured or you died of foodborne illness. Wealth was health. Health is tied to youth especially before modern medicine. If we look at our closest relatives, older male apes lose their status in the hierarchy. Younger, stronger males inevitably challenge the status of aging males. Female ape hierarchies are comparatively stable. Male dominance in the hierarchy is directly tied…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:47 AM
5

Conservatives? People who love traditional gender roles? I notice they seem to think men just want sex all the time which, unfortunately for high libido women like me, they do not. I
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:34 AM
4

Yeah 50 year old men were still unable to compete with 20 year old men. It’s well understood that before farming there were less simple sugars in our diet. People still died from dental issues or minor cuts or respiratory viruses we survive now. The older the person the worse the recovery and the more likely a cut or virus will kill you. Was true then and is true now. Honestly as an ICU nurse I’m shocked at how much better a 22 year old does in recovery compared to a 35 year old. It’s truly humb…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:25 AM
1

Yes. There was less readily sugars but people still ate fruit. We can read first hand accounts of how ancient people dealt with tooth pain and tooth extractions. It was a real problem. But we didn’t even evolve in ancient times. We evolved even before that, when humans died from tooth abscesses and we didn’t have the tools to remove teeth easily. It’s true they didn’t often die until their 50s or even 60s if they survived childhood. Have you seen 50 year old men? They can’t compete with 20 year …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:16 AM
5

Without modern medicine, nutrition and hygiene 40 year olds thousands of years ago had knees and backs and teeth shot to shit. They were in the sun all day and would have looked way older than we think of 40 year olds looking now. I didn’t say they were all dead by 40. I’m saying they weren’t attractive for first time partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:06 AM
16

It isn’t though. If it were every time drunk people fuck there would be a police investigation. In practice drunk people fuck all the time and no one thinks it’s assault. If one person is black out drunk and the other person is sober, that’s when people rightly point out that a blacked out person can’t give consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:45 AM
5

This assumes men always took care specifically of a woman they helped get pregnant. Humans are a cooperative species that doesn’t appear to be naturally monogamous though. If we look at apes, gorilla males help with all children and have no idea about paternity. Gorilla females aren’t monogamous. Chimp males are involved with offspring (though apparently less than male gorillas) and female chimps are also not monogamous. I think modern humans assume a lot about our ancestors. But humans didn’t e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:36 AM
–

This can’t be a real opinion. Most straight men love eating pussy. Has nothing to do with dick size. Agreed this must be rage bait.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:02 AM
1

Women blame PMS for normal mood fluctuations. Maybe you didn’t yell at your boyfriend because of PMS. Maybe he’s just an asshole you aren’t sexually attracted to anymore. Most men aren’t bad in bed. Women who complain of this are actually bad in bed but project it onto men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:27 AM
4

Family? No. Friends? No. But once in the past my friend didn’t like a boyfriend of mine and I took that seriously. He did end up being controlling and she was right in noticing the beginning of that behavior. If she didn’t like my partner now I’d reflect on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:51 PM
2

I respect women who have really conventionally handsome lovers. I’m envious of them too but not in a begrudging way. That’s not as easy to pull as average men make out. Is it easy for an average woman to have average men as lovers? Yeah. Was it easy for me to have above average but not knockout handsome men as lovers over the years? Eh it wasn’t difficult but being fun and good in bed are skills. It was work, but not difficult work. But I’m an ICU nurse so my idea of difficult work is kinda high…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:48 PM
3

Sure men are also more likely to lower their standards. That doesn’t make it impressive. It’s all still just sex. Having sex with someone you’re attracted to is one of the most pleasurable things on the planet. It’s also relatively easy for me to buy a cheeseburger and enjoy it. It’s easy for me to have friends and enjoy that. It’s easy for me to have a dog and I enjoy that. Shaming people for enjoying life is fucking weird. Something else is going on because there is nothing wrong with enjoying…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:25 PM
3

Different women. I watch porn all the time. My boyfriend rarely does probably because we have sex so often and men don’t have unlimited orgasms like women. I have no problem with men watching porn because I really like porn and it gives me ideas for real sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:39 PM
3

I said yes. It was the first word.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:37 PM
2

Yes. And I’m aware of what he watches though it’s very occasional. He said in his 20s he watched it a lot but for the past few years it only was something he would do maybe once every week or two weeks. He once told me he hadn’t watched it in four months which shocked me but we also have sex all the time. I have unlimited orgasms; he as a man doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:34 PM
3

Nah my partner occasionally watches free porn. I watch WAY more porn than him. I watch it usually every day. He has no reason to lie to me. I pay for porn sometimes and he knows this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:17 AM
5

I have had a lot of casual sex in the past and I didn’t find men didn’t care about my pleasure. Most wanted to go down on me for a long time. Just my experience. But then again I’ve realized I have a good filter on men. If they seem selfish in anyway when we meet I’m not attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:48 AM
11

I’ve known plenty of men who are slutty. Men who aren’t toads can get casual sex if they have social skills. Many (but not all) of the ones who do significantly lower their standards. It’s not an accomplishment to lower your standards. Women tend to maintain their standards with causal sex or even raise them. That’s much more admirable than ignoring that you don’t find the other person attractive but plow through anyway just because. Plenty of average men go home with women from bars. I’ve been …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:35 AM
9

You have to willfully abandon reason to be a religious fundamentalist. Not be stupid. No. You choose to abandon reason and critical thinking. Anyone who supports Trump is comfortable with living in a delusion. He lies to his followers without remorse. So yeah. Defects. If they aren’t delusional they’re classists or racists or sexists and if they’re not that they’re terrified of the world. Defective.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:09 AM
3

I’m so sorry. Fuck those guys. I meant to say my experience is NOT comparable btw
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:00 AM
6

I’m including men I’ve been with for years. I’ve been with my current partner for years. I’ve had a few several year long relationships. My man mentioned once after we’d been together a long time he’s had sex with probably a hundred women but never asked me the question. Men who care about body count usually just ain’t in on the count. Or they’re insecure in other ways. Or are extremely religious. Or conservative or some other mental defect.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:58 AM
4

Oh shit. I’m sorry. Yeah I could see that. I know this is not comparable in terms of impact or scale, but I’m a redhead and I’ve had men in bars tell me “I’ve never slept with a redhead and always wanted to!” Like wtf dude. Did you think that line would work on me? Even have gotten the whole “does the carpet match the drapes?!” Question from random men at bars. Maybe they speak that way to brunettes but in other ways, but I’ve often felt singled out for my hair color.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:56 AM
5

How? How do you see through her lies lol To be fair no man has ever asked me about my sexual history. I’m shocked people say men do this in real life. Even the old school Southern men I dated who sent me flowers and picked me up and paid for everything never asked me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:50 AM
5

Huh. I’ve never been to a sex club but all my FWBs and ONS were always super nice and respectful toward me. If it’s not traumatic to recall: what did they say and do that was misogynistic? Was it men you met at sex clubs? Or like FWB?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:48 AM
2

To be fair I’ve had sex with probably over 50 men mostly casual and none ever spoke misogynistically toward me. I was always treated very well. Can’t say I’ve been to a sex club though. My experience with causal sex was usually that the man kinda wanted the girlfriend experience actually. Hang out a lot. Cuddle. Go to movies and restaurants. Have lots of sex. But no talk of feelings usually and obviously neither of us wanted commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:46 AM
8

Men don’t innately not want women who have sex with many men. Most of my partners were aware I have causal sex especially since that’s how we met. But I have relationships with the type of men who easily get casual sex and have a lot of it: aka socially and sexually liberal, attractive and charismatic men. Men who care about body count typically ain’t in on the count. Some also just think sex is kinda gross and some are paranoid about being cheated on (which is insecurity).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:44 AM
6

Most cultures also gay bash. But sure, men have motive because men don’t know paternity. Women have motive to be promiscuous so all men think a child could be theirs. Supposedly this is why scientists think male gorillas are exceptionally involved with childcare even though female gorillas have many mates. But anyway cultures without slut shaming:the mosuo, the !Kung, the yanomami, and probably more. The Mosuo with their walking marriages are the most famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:40 AM
13

Of course. It works on women who believe it is wrong or shameful to be sexually active with whoever she wants (within ethical reason). It doesn’t work on me because I sincerely don’t think it’s wrong or shameful. Telling me I’ve had sex with too many men is like telling me I’ve read too many books. I just think the person is stupid. As a result I’m one of those women who orgasms every time from penetration and I genuinely believe me not feeling any shame about be incredibly sexual and watching p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:35 AM
–

Ew. I’d never ask a man to buy me a drink. Seems (and pardon the phrase but it’s what comes to mind) ghetto. Kinda desperate too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:20 AM
–

Men usually buy me a drink or offer me a cigarette. I only smoke when men offered me cigarettes because I knew they were trying to get me outside which means get me to walk to where they stay or go to their car. Of course they don’t say that but that’s what’s usually happening and I learned to go with the flow to make it more fun. I’m surprised you never bought a woman a drink.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:16 AM
–

What do you mean what’s the fun in that? When men approach me we do banter. The young man who asked to kiss me didn’t ask me that until we’d talked for almost thirty minutes. The last one night stand I had before becoming exclusive with my partner was in a crowded bar in London and a young Irish man came up to me and said “god please tell me you aren’t American why is this place full of Americans?” Of course we laughed because turns out I am an American and chatted back and forth for a time and …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:13 AM
–

Nah. When I was single I was a solid 7 with at time a 7.5 body. I was considered hot. Going to bars alone as a woman is the way to go. I always had at least 2 men approach me per bar and buy me drinks. Even at now 40 I’d say I get approached by a man 75 percent of the time I’m at a bar alone (which is weekly while I’m in town and nightly when I travel which is a week every month with my job). Last time I was at a bar alone a handsome young man asked to kiss me. Also if I’m out with my friends I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:08 AM
–

Exactly. It’s odd behavior and odd, socially unacceptable behavior creeps people out. If I was operating in a subculture where that was ok I might have had some luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:57 AM
3

The issue is there is no agreement among feminists as to what a feminist is. Some civil rights leaders genuinely hated white people (and were misogynists). They still were civil rights leaders. So a woman who hates men could call themselves a feminist. Anyone can. There is no licensure exam for the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:55 AM
2

Probably not women who have a problem with gay men. Also a lot of people believe bi women really prefer men and bi men are really just gay. That makes it hard for some women. Basically society assumes attraction to men takes precedence no matter what. It’s bullshit but it’s something a lot of people believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:18 AM
2

Like most women of course I do. Sexiest show I’ve seen in ages other than the Interview with the Vampire show.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:10 AM
3

I’d think it was hot if he kissed a guy. I’d prefer he be more attracted to women because I’m selfish like that I guess. But if it made him open to a threesome I’d find it really attractive. Unfortunately my boyfriend is as straight as they come.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:08 AM
5

If your female coworker asks you for cunnilingus it is considered inappropriate even if she only asks once.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:44 AM
5

Hello fellow neurodivergent person. In high school I asked a boy for meaningless sex. I actually used that phrase. I was told all boys wanted meaningless sex with basically any decent looking girl. He was scared of me and avoided me. It’s against normal social norms. It creeps people out. I WISH men were like how they pretend to be. But men are actually complex emotional beings who often require romance. Unless they are ugly but why would I want to fuck an ugly guy? I have a vibrator and can wat…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:43 AM
8

Agreed completely; they were not incompetent. Women always worked hard in all kinds of skilled labor even if they weren’t paid for it. This includes cooking, baking, making and repairing clothes, making baskets and even cleaning back when you had to make all your supplies yourself. Centuries ago families would sent their clothes off to women running laundries because it was such intense work. Women usually worked alongside their husbands in shops and trades etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:44 PM
5

Oh I agree a little shyness can even be charming. A lot of women love when a man is flustered by our mere presence. It’s charming. I don’t care about some men liking lesbians but I doubt they would want to date an actual lesbian since there wouldn’t be sex. Not sure why liking lesbians would be sexist. Biphobia is definitely rooted in some sexist and puritanical ideas coming from anyone. Thanks but my long term partner is younger than me by a few years, never finished college unlike me and makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 08:40 PM
9

Men love competence as well. The idea that men want ditzy women who can’t act like a competent adult ready to solve problems as a mother and wife is pretty misandrist. Some men like a dependent and helpless wife to be the mother of those children, but those men are compensating for something. It isn’t normal to want that for the mother of your offspring because it hurts your chances of your offspring succeeding. And men who are secure find insecure women (aka women who lack confidence) to be exh…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:40 PM
5

There’s a pervasive idea that has some support in evidence that girls also mature faster in brain development. Does that make girls wiser? Probably not. There are people who don’t act with wisdom their entire lives. But girls maturing faster in a general way is pretty widely accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:33 PM
8

Isn’t the explanation usually that women go through puberty about 2 years earlier so maturity wise women and men are about 2 years apart? That’s what I always heard. Boys are behind girls by a couple of years in maturity and that difference carries on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:11 PM
10

You said women date older men as proof of something about patriarchy and differences in the sexes. I’m pointing out that decreases once women aren’t using older men for money anymore. No one considers two years as an “age gap relationship.” A Google search will show you most women have watched porn in the last month and like 33 percent watch it every single week at least once. A lot of women’s introduction to porn is frightening and unpleasant so yeah, more porn focused on female pleasure would …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:53 PM
9

That’s a lot of text so I’ll just point out in every country where women start earning good money age gap relationships plummet except for ones where women are older. Those increase some when women earn enough money to be independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:45 PM
1

I have to add I’m a woman who is a very good dancer. When I went to the clubs in my 20s maybe one man might approach me off the dance floor before I started dancing. Once I had danced a few men came up to me at the bar every time. Rhythm is sexy. It’s a shame kids aren’t taught how to dance in school where I live anymore. Programs keep getting cut
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:35 PM
3

Considering the most likely group to get married are those in the top 20% of income earnings it doesn’t surprise me they, like wine drinkers, live longer. I believe you mentioned education level was supposedly controlled for? I didn’t see you mention income as a confounding factor considered. All and all it makes intuitive sense. Americans with money have health care and an easier life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:13 PM
1

I’ve seen plenty of men get upset when a woman they aren’t even dating doesn’t want to ever have kids or get married. “That’s your purpose though! It’s what you’re made for! Your life will have no meaning!” Turn on Fox News if you can stomach it and they bemoan women wanting to stay child free and not getting married often. Especially the male anchors. Nothing wrong with the cc. I’m happy my partner was on the equivalent one for him in his 20s. The pc I suppose we can call it. Refining your tast…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:07 PM
1

Obviously not in your social circles but they exist. They make a lot of noise online about how feminists have ruined everything and made women not want to get married and have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:20 AM
1

Women saying they don’t care about looks can be a way to think of themselves as less shallow. Just like men saying they don’t care if a woman makes ok money can make a man feel less shallow. Everyone who isn’t looking to financially control a partner prefers a good looking partner who isn’t broke, men included. The studies I linked mentioned that men and women tend to lack introspective awareness about what ends up motivating their behavior. As an example: I can want to eat kale for dinner (it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:26 AM
1

I totally agree women know what is provocative dress. I also know some women dress provocatively and then complain about the attention just for MORE attention. But, additionally: my experience is that I got followed and harassed the most when I was about 13 and wearing jeans and tshirt. By the time I was 20 the harassment was far less, and the biggest determiner of how I was treated walking the streets in the big city I lived in was how dressed up I looked. Yoga pants, tshirt, messy bun and flip…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:07 AM
1

I see cold approaching work in bars all the time. I sometimes wonder if the people who complain about cold approaching being annoying or not working just aren’t hanging out in places where single liberal people hang out. They certainly aren’t hanging out in the type of bars where people are known to hook up. Back in my younger days everyone knew the bars where people did that. Usually there was some guy selling drugs at the end of the bar (doesn’t mean everyone partook), cheap drinks, and the ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:03 AM
2

Women say they care more about income over looks but in reality looks at the primary stimulus of attraction for women. Women (and men) often speak aspirationally about themselves and in ways they think make them sound both good and in line with expected cultural norms. Interestingly, men understate how much they care about a woman’s income. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romant…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:57 AM
0

For physical and non-physical reasons. Men also tend to feel more attraction when the person is not socially undesirable. They also tend to feel more physical attraction when they feel safe, appreciated, admired, sexually desired, etc. etc. Attraction is largely physically and largely emotional for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:54 AM
3

I was aware it wasn’t a peer reviewed study. It looked to be some sort of article with links to sources. I’ll read what you’ve provided. Thanks for taking the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:05 AM
0

Healthier, less depressed and live longer according to this link. This is just from a quick google search I haven’t looked into this so you may find flaws. https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 12:27 AM
2

I’ve seen statistics showing single women who never were married live longer than everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:41 PM
2

The overwhelming reason they watched it OVER straight porn is the implication here. So they would rather watch two attractive men actually moaning than an attractive man being silent and an annoyingly loud woman. Wanting people to seem into it doesn’t mean they don’t find the men attractive. It is already a given they find the men attractive. They want to see hot guys enjoy themselves. Women’s number one complaint about porn often is the men are silent. We love hearing men’s moans and most of us…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:32 PM
3

Women desire men plenty, we just are pickier about looks. A hot guy who won’t fuck fat chicks and has higher standards than an ugly guy doesn’t desire women less. He just has higher standards because he can.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:57 PM
2

But from your article just after skimming I saw this: “I’ve always had mmf threesome fantasies. I think I got into it when I was in a phase of threesome porn and I got into bisexual mmf threesome porn and realized I enjoyed watching the men doing sexual things to each other more than when they included the woman!” So you’re cherry picking a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:55 PM
3

“For many women The Established spoke to but didn’t want to be quoted regarding their preference for gay porn, the consensus was that they loved the idea of a man making love to another man’s body, at least in the type of porn they consumed. Natasha, who works in hospitality in Bengaluru, says she enjoys gazing at the beauty of the male body. “I enjoy when the camera lingers on aspects of the male body outside of the genitals, and I want a camera that allows me to see the male face in ecstasy be…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:52 PM
–

This is a good take.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:01 AM
–

This may be relevant then: The Ben Franklin Effect is a psychological phenomenon in which a person likes someone more after doing them a favor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben\_Franklin\_effect
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:06 AM
–

Your example doesn’t sound toxic and narcissistic though. You weren’t bullying her. Side note: I find many men like being told what to do (Grab me a straw). It think it makes them feel useful and like they’re getting good boy points. Maybe that’s how she felt too?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 08:22 AM
2

I thought it was more that married men live longer and report being happier. But again we don’t know why. Could be happy and healthy men tend to be more attractive partners for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 08:19 AM
6

I think this is the answer. Whenever I see a woman pressuring a man to marry on TikTok or other social media they always have children and live together etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:50 AM
9

Young men are more likely than young women to say they want to get married and to have kids in the USA. The male loneliness epidemic is talked about frequently. What you have noticed is a type of sad woman stuck in a shitty relationship with a man who doesn’t like her. Sunk cost fallacy plays a big role too. Edited to add: plus passport bros exist but women don’t try to marry men from economically disadvantaged nations. It’s known that places like Jamaica and Bali and the DR are common destinati…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:30 AM
26

These usually aren’t the same women saying these things. This is like asking why men complain women don’t want to get married and have kids these days but also complain about being pressured into marriage. These aren’t the same men complaining. People have differing complaints. The women who complain about their 8 year relationship with their baby daddy not marrying them tend to have really low self esteem. They don’t think they’re worth anything and the ring becomes a prize to prove they are wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:57 AM
3

You got it. Because it’s very psychologically important for them to believe women aren’t actually attracted to men. When I’ve explained how sexy I find my partners body I’m told by them that actually I just want him to want me. When I mention how sexy certain actors are and how women swoon over them he says we are swooning over the status. When I ask why these actors all happen to be extremely handsome I’m told that women can tell if a man is handsome they just aren’t attracted to the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:55 AM
–

What’s an example of you doing this? What exactly are you saying to women and what do you mean by you got more women? Are you sure it’s not coming across as teasing? When I was single I often flirted with men by teasing them. But, generally speaking, being cocky can be attractive to some people at first. It can read as charisma and can trigger high intensity emotional cycles that can be literally addictive. If you’re asking why negging works on some people, it’s because some people have low self…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:51 AM
3

I don’t know what sub that would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:33 AM
3

Well my favorite interaction was when I asked one of them “how do you explain how popular watching gay porn is with straight women” and I was told those women are probably actually intersex or hormonally men and just don’t know it. Turns out I’m a man!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:32 AM
3

Oh that sub is a trip!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:26 AM
2

It’s simplistic but that’s because it’s a generalization. An accurate one. Love can turn to hate. People change. People grow apart. People betray each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:46 PM
1

If it’s because I didn’t communicate what I want, I’d work on getting more comfortable communicating. I find men tend to get excited and go too fast. I had to get comfortable with giving feedback because some take it as criticism. Kind of like conflating personal responsibility and guilt. They aren’t the same thing. If it’s because I am self conscious about my body, I’d address that with some thought work. If it’s because I am not managing my anxiety very well and I got distracted worrying about…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:44 PM
2

Studies show people who cheat (men and women) usually consider the person they are cheating with more attractive sexually but less attractive as a long term partner. So it’s not for resources that people cheat as you suggest. They cheat because they want to fuck. It’s that simple the vast majority of the time. Most people do cheat at some point in their lives but studies also show that once a cheater not always a cheater. Many people who cheat go on to not cheat in subsequent relationships. So c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:10 PM
–

Of course it is. Ted Danson wears a hair piece and it looks incredible. Men look great in boots with heels too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 07:53 AM
3

I don’t know the answer. My boyfriend is somewhat confident but has some insecurities and anxieties. He keeps them controlled though and doesn’t let it affect the relationship much which is what matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:48 AM
2

Hm. Most people have some little insecurities. It’s a problem when those insecurities start affecting a man’s ability to accept love and/or make him controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:34 AM
2

I just want him to be good looking and not an endless pit of need which is what a lot of insecure women and men are. That and he has to think I’m funny and smart. Perhaps more importantly he has to find my constant desire for novelty, travel, and sex amusing and fun. Many men find it exhausting. I don’t care about confidence. I care about a lack of being an annoying whiny little bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:28 AM
3

I prefer a man who is flustered by my mere presence but also isn’t insecure. But then again, I’m pretty confident so maybe this plays into your generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:22 AM
1

I have no idea why you’d assume that. It feels really good especially when I control it and the man stays still.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:49 AM
1

Well if he’s an upstanding guy it’s very possible he only watched porn he truly assessed to his best ability was ethically made porn. It’s totally valid to be anti porn. I personally find it helped my sex life for me to watch porn. But hopefully with the right guy who displays all the best motives and values you can find a man you trust to at least have never engaged with porn in an inherently problematic way. I hope you find that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:37 PM
1

I’ve found men who react negatively to feedback. They were the minority but I’ve definitely encountered such men. I cut them loose and wish them the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:34 PM
1

The OP states “they (the man) are in control of what’s happening.” They don’t have to be. Women can be in control. One way is for the women to get on top, which is a commonplace vanilla sex position. Promoting personal responsibility is not the same as blame. Blame is about fault, punishment and even shame. Personal responsibility is about growth and taking actions toward improvement. It’s very disingenuous to pretend otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:59 PM
2

I agree. Whenever I hear “he can’t find the clitoris!” Uh… take his hand and put it there? You think women just naturally know how to touch penises? We don’t. I had to be shown and told what each guy liked because men are also all different.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:54 PM
9

Googled stats on this. Between 44% and 60% of women watch porn. So I don’t know that most women are creeped out by porn. Some porn, sure. Men are creeped out by some porn as well. For reference apparently like 80% of men watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:05 AM
1

Whenever a woman does what?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 05:55 AM
2

“Admitting (you mean deciding) that sex is for men and I don’t need to love it or be adventurous to please my husband made me happier.” Just to be clear this is a decision you’ve made because it somehow pleases you. Doing really basic simple things to enjoy sex doesn’t make you happy. You want to not enjoy it. That’s fine, but let’s be clear that’s what’s happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:56 AM
1

Doggy style works for me if I’m in control and the man stays still. I can use my muscles to stimulate myself on a dick but you have to know how to do that as a woman. Pompoir is useful. Unfortunately I will say a lot of men’s minds are blown by this and try to take back control instead of staying still and letting me lead.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:53 AM
2

That’s my impression too. I think it’s a matter of my outlook being different and my thoughts surrounding dating and sex being different. But I get told I’m a misogynist victim blaming women for not enjoying sex. It’s sex. It’s supposed to be enjoyable. The clitoris and gspot are amazing. Multiple orgasms are amazing. Like what isn’t to love?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:09 AM
3

Promoting being active isn’t the same as placing blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:11 PM
1

Well reading women on here makes me wonder what I’m doing differently. The only thing about my type I can pinpoint is they are progressive socially always and they have to give me the impression they aren’t performing masculinity for other men. They can be masculine but in an understated way and I want to see some stereotypical femininity in their presentation too. This could be longish hair, nail polish, stylish dress, or just a genuine interest in some feminine coded things. They better think …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:08 PM
1

Thank you for the clarification. Yes, I didn’t mean to imply all asexuals don’t enjoy sex. This is always shocking to me because it’s not like I only go after one type of man (though they have to be progressive socially). I have to shove men off me during oral because I’ve orgasmed so much I’m sensitive. They mostly seem obsessed with it to me. Same with hands if they like using their hands. And again, same with PIV. Usually once they know I can orgasm more than once they’re not satisfied with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:00 PM
8

We do not. Many of us love sex. It’s my favorite hobby. AND most men are obsessed with pleasing women in bed. It wouldn’t occur to me to stay with a man who wasn’t invested in my enjoyment, but I’ve basically never met a man who wasn’t. I think like 2 out of 50ish. And of the 2 one wasn’t really all that selfish. The other one was pathologically selfish to the point I realized he had serious psych issues surrounding sex. He was obsessed with his penis size (he thought he was too small, he was no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:15 PM
8

Yes and that’s something between a woman and her health care provider. No one said such a thing was a woman’s fault. You’re making up things to get offended by.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:03 PM
5

Who told you the point is to orgasm during sex? What’s wrong what orgasming during foreplay (which is sex still just not PIV). This is some rule or condition you’ve made up in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:49 PM
3

Most people wouldn’t define having their partner use their hands or mouth on them as a “struggle to look for things that may or may not work” and yet you won’t even do that. Those things are foreplay 101 not some mysterious witchcraft. High schoolers do those things without even thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:39 PM
3

Your experience isn’t mine and it’s not all women’s either. In my experience, men are obsessed with making their sex partner orgasm as many times as possible. And I’ve had more than 50 partners and I’m not even counting the partners I had as a sex worker. Even when I was a sex worker decades ago most clients really wanted me to orgasm. Are men actually telling you “your orgasm your problem?” If a man said that or implied that in my presences they’d never have the pleasure of my company again eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:26 PM
4

You seem to just not do anything that makes you feel good and then you say sex doesn’t feel good. Well, yeah. Of course not. I almost wonder if this is a kink of yours you’re so insistent on not doing anything to let him give you pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:08 PM
5

I say this all the time. When women say they feel like fleshlights I think, why aren’t you taking control then? Pretty sure my boyfriend sometimes could feels like a dildo prop while I ride him but he’s cool with me getting off with his body. I’m cool with him getting off with mine. Probably because we both always get off, and usually me far more than him. Honesty I wouldn’t want to be a man. I’m too used to multiple orgasms. I don’t even relate to women saying a man is bad in bed (unless he fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:17 PM
3

I agree. I think early extremely bad experiences also can sadly prevent people from having healthy experiences later. They accept terrible behavior as the norm as well as just have limited experience. If you’ve only had a few partners and they mostly were awful and abusive, of course you’ll think this way. I try to be charitable but as often say: I was a wanton slut all through my 20s and parts of my 30s and hearing women talk about men not caring about our pleasure and men pressuring us into se…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:01 PM
4

Why don’t you like the idea of oral? That’s too bad fingering is boring for you. For me it’s a great way to hit the gspot but everyone is different. And again, I say this gently, but oral sex is pretty vanilla and an aversion to it along with being a virgin when you met your husband does point to likelihood that a lot of this is psychological. Most women love getting their clitoris licked and sucked. Some of course don’t it just doesn’t work for them or it’s a sensory thing just like some men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:54 AM
3

So you don’t like oral sex or being fingered or PIV. Why don’t you like oral sex or being fingered? Totally valid but what’s the reasons. Sounds like you don’t like any sex acts including ones that focus more on the clitoris and gspot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:45 AM
0

Where is the fun in that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:40 AM
2

It can be stupid. It can also be fun for both parties when there’s a dance of back and forth. Different people like different things. I’ve experienced direct courtship and coy courtship with some chasing. Eh. They both have their advantages. So you’re not wrong. It’s a preference based on your own thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:36 AM
8

You say he’s satisfied with “the main thing.” The “main thing” for you could be what gives YOU pleasure. The main thing doesn’t have to be what gives him pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:33 AM
10

Don’t make me agree with a red pill man… but honestly trauma, purity culture, vaginismus and just terrible partners can also cause this. It’s not necessarily that the woman isn’t straight. But yeah sex is supposed to be pleasurable our bodies are literally made to enjoy the act.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:25 AM
13

I’m sorry you think it’s normal men who push you to do acts you don’t want?! Oh no those are shitty men. I’m a huge slut (well monogamous now, it happens to the best of us) and just as an example, I never was interested in anal. Not one man pressured me for anal after I said I didn’t care to try it. Do I know there are shitty men who do pressure women? Oh of course and far too many. But this isn’t “normal” and please don’t normalize it. “Most men strong enough to pull me off of them, I’m not.” I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:22 AM
9

I say this gently, but yes I’m sure that isn’t uncommon with the type of women who would only have sex with one man and marry him. This points to a mindset about sex that for many people (but not all) messes with their ability to enjoy sex. I was a slut raised by sex positive parents and I orgasm multiple times like 99 percent of the time, but I’ve never felt an ounce of shame during sex or taking controlling and getting what I want how I want it during sex. I also expect a lot of oral and have …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:05 AM
36

Posts like this really make me wonder sometimes. Purity culture is so bad for everyone involved. They don’t think sex is usually not pleasant. I’m a woman and I can’t remember the last time sex was unpleasant — quite the opposite is my experience. Why is sex unpleasant for you? Men don’t have to be in control of what’s happening. Women can get on top. I don’t know why so many women act like we can’t be in total control of the act. If there is pain, this is an issue. It shouldn’t hurt if properly…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:44 AM
4

I don’t think people pretend male and female gold diggers don’t exist. My mother always told me a lot of men are looking for a “nurse with a purse.” Women online warn other women about “hobo-sexual” men who try to move in with you super soon. We are aware there are women like this too. What is funny is men with no gold acting paranoid about gold diggers when gold diggers wouldn’t be interested in them. Ex whores? That’s pretty inflammatory. I never understood caring about a person’s sexual past …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:02 AM
3

I think I’m not afraid because I have so much experience and my experiences are almost universally good. But I’m pretty good at vetting men and picking up quickly on if a guy is selfish or sexist or an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:42 AM
6

I mean turbulence when it’s really bad gives me anxiety even though I fly all the time and rationally know it’s not dangerous. Fear is more about perception than statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:41 AM
7

I personally am not afraid of men. But I understand the men and women who are. But then that’s why I’ve had tons of causal sex and almost always had an amazing time and sometimes had a boring time. But never a bad time. The women I talk to afraid of men seem to be genuinely afraid of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:31 AM
14

Yes. I have straight male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:04 PM
1

Explain how the reasoning isn’t ordered. You’re making a claim but not explaining how the reasoning isn’t ordered. If you don’t know what the reasoning is, then you can’t claim to know it’s not ordered. So, please lay out what you think women’s reasoning is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:59 AM
1

This doesn’t answer the question. In what way is how you say women think less ordered, hierarchical and stepped? Specifically also how is it intuitive and how is men’s thinking less intuitive?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:21 AM
4

Jesus. No. Wtf dude
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:23 PM
4

Agree the Prussian model isn’t great for girls or boys. It was developed for boys to make them a certain kind of man. A better model was developed by a woman: Maria Montessori. Children can move about and the learning is more self directed. No sitting at assigned desks all day. I’d like more of our schools to implement this. Google adoption laws re: single men. In all fifty states single men can adopt. https://creativefamilyconnections.com/us-surrogacy-law-map/ Here’s a map of surrogacy laws. Lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:18 PM
6

Well run daycares aren’t bad. It teaches socialization. I don’t agree someone must stay home with a child. I agree we as a community need to support all parents with food assistance, affordable daycare (with the help of tax dollars), universal healthcare as well as housing assistance etc where needed. Grandparents and aunts and uncles can serve as great role models. What’s important is the child has a community taking care of them. Single men can adopt children in the USA as well as pay a surrog…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:47 PM
8

Why would this not empower women? If men want to be single dads I think that’s great and I hope they receive all the support from their community they need.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:12 PM
3

Men would enslave women if artificial wombs existed? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:13 PM
4

So you believe a motivation for serial killers is once they are caught and imprisoned for life some women will show romantic attraction to them? Usually only if they’re hot of course in which case they could get laid before being imprisoned for life. Before they are caught they keep the murder sprees a secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:37 PM
4

Masturbation occurring over a convicted murderer who will never leave prison and have sex with said masturbaters in your mind is incentivizing serial killers? Seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:13 PM
2

Yes. You get it. It is sexism against femininity (it’s a “downgrade”). It also is about policing men and pressuring them to adhere to strict gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:09 PM
3

So you do think femininity is childlike. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:06 PM
9

I’m not justifying it. It doesn’t need justification. It just is. How is it immoral to masturbate to some random person on the news that is hot? What effect on the material world does that have? Zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:04 PM
8

Yes all the men thirsting after Casey Anthony were immoral … nah I think people just like hot people dude. It’s not complicated. Hot people on tv are gonna have people masturbating to them. We are just apes deep down.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:59 PM
5

What a weird and hateful comment. There’s nothing wrong with liking anime. Interesting you associate effeminate with “baby”ish things. Carry that thought to conclusion and “femininity” is more baby like to you. Which in many ways society does infantilize women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:44 PM
5

No, not inherently.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:42 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:08 PM
2

To start: I don’t have ethical objections to sex work done by consenting adults. To answer the question it’s because most people interpret (rightly or wrongly) these behaviors differently. For many people sex work is heavily associated with sex trafficking, exploitation, coercion and unequal power dynamics. Not all sex workers are experiencing these things, but many are. So knowing someone engaged with that can trigger a lot of discomfort. For others, causal sex isn’t seen as something necessari…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:06 PM
3

This seems to assume women don’t enjoy the experience and that perhaps it is unusual for casual sex partners to treat each other with respect, honesty and care. No one is necessarily being commodified. I’ve had tons of casual sex and FWB. It was exciting, fun, and a learning experience. I was treated very well (but I also vetted men pretty heavily). And of course women and men can be commodified in long term monogamous relationships as well. This is a personality difference among the people havi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:58 PM
1

How is it more rationally processed? What is the rationale. How do women in your process this less rationally? What is women’s rationale that you believe is “irrational?”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:36 PM
17

No one disagrees that tomboys are accepted and sissy boys are generally not. Tomboys are seen as doing more serious, tough, independent and assertive things so they are rewarded. Sissy boys are seen as lowering themselves from those superior traits and becoming like women; they are weak, dependent and vulnerable (aka: feminine). Now does this amount to misandry? In a way, yes. The contempt directed at men and boys who don’t perform masculinity correctly could be construed that way. It also comes…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:13 AM
6

So you agree there is social value and economic value in fatherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:02 AM
8

How does the man not become a father? It is blindingly obvious a woman cannot ask for literally anything and get it. I know you know this. Doesn’t matter if it’s illegal. It happens and is not a benefit or a good thing. They lose income in the long run because of gaps in their resume as well when applying for new jobs. A lot of that is cultural. In most fields a year off doesn’t make you suddenly not know how to do your job you’ve been trained to do. Also this is a values difference I imagine we…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:00 AM
10

My dad raised me along with my mother (who also worked). Fathers are extremely important. Being a father has social value. People tend to trust fathers more, and associate fatherhood with stability, leadership and maturity. Employers have been shown to favor fathers over child free people in terms of raises and advancement because They are viewed as more reliable and committed. While mothers have the motherhood penalty fathers have the fatherhood premium.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:22 AM
13

Women cannot ask for literally anything and get it. In fact, abuse rates go up during pregnancy and homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. No prizes for guessing who is killing and abusing them. Pregnant women are also abandoned every day. Women have significant loss of income and career advancement because of pregnancy. If pregnancy is such an amazing source of power, why do most women go to great lengths to prevent it? Why does workplace discrimination against mothers exist…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:17 AM
13

Because I wouldn’t have to go through the pains of labor. Pregnancy the whole time is rough. I’d love there to be artificial wombs.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:27 AM
48

Artificial wombs would empower women. No pregnancy and labor to deal with!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:50 AM
3

So you’re saying men are more rational and independent in thought in dating? That men don’t like to date women others approve of? In my experience men like it when other people think their wife is a catch. It’s a reflection on them and their status and worth among other men. Culture affects us all. Japanese men rate women’s facial attractiveness differently than Western men because their cultural standards of beauty are different. There was a time when sex worker wore pubic wigs to hide that the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:47 AM
0

You think most men don’t find anything special about their girlfriends? I think most men think their partners are special in some way. I wouldn’t date men if it weren’t for my sex drive. What’s the point? But I don’t get into relationships with men I don’t find special. I’d argue normal men do the same. It’s possible at times you’ve misunderstood the idea that a lot of people wouldn’t date if it weren’t for their sex drive and thought they meant they only date for sex. Men don’t even pay sex wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:14 AM
2

That’s interesting. I can see that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:43 AM
6

Relationships are always optional for both parties. Maybe explore why this bothers you so much. No human being is ever ‘yours.’ Healthy love is two autonomous people continuously choosing each other. Suffering comes less from the possibility that relationships can end (because they can) and more from the thought that if they end, it means something terrible about you. Tying your emotional safety to permanence will always cause suffering because nothing is permanent. That doesn’t mean that monoga…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:00 AM
2

Sure. I live in Mississippi. I’m extremely aware of how much geography, class and culture matter. It’s why I don’t hang out with entire demographics that dominate this backwards state. My point is we can choose who we socialize with. It takes way more effort in some places than others. I sure as fuck miss living in a major northern city. My social life was far, far, far easier to keep vibrant - at first. But I found an extremely progressive church that doesn’t care if you believe in god, joined …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:12 AM
2

Stepmom isn’t niche. It’s one of the top searched terms. Actually other than cuckoldry (which is still wildly popular) none are truly niche. They’re mainstream. In the USA a former secretary of homeland security was in the news when it was revealed her husband is into bimbofication where he dresses as an exaggerated woman with ridiculously huge boobs. That’s absolutely about emotions and power dynamics. There are more men reported to be in the BDSM community than women, and more men report being…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:00 AM
2

The company we keep is often our choice and so is how we present ourselves, and no I don’t just mean manner of dress. I’ve met plenty of misogynists and sexists. I cut them off and don’t allow them in my presence.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:42 AM
4

Yeah I have nothing in common with most frat boys. Environment matters a lot. I went to school in a part of my country that is extremely religious and consecutive while I’m agnostic and a democratic socialist. Shit was rough. I met boyfriends usually through political clubs or online.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:39 AM
1

Estradiol is essential for erections and ejaculation. But it’s even more essential for women’s sex drives which is my whole point. Saying because women have less testosterone means they have lower sex drives doesn’t make sense considering estradiol therapy is essential when treating a woman’s low libido. Testosterone therapy on its own does not raise a woman’s libido. That’s why I said saying women have less testosterone so they have lower drives than men makes as much sense as me saying men hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:33 AM
5

I think we underestimate how much emotional/plot/power dynamics men enjoy in their attraction and overestimate how much women care about this. I don’t think “stepmom” being one of the top searched terms in porn is because most men secretly want to fuck their step moms. I think the power dynamics and taboo at play arouse men. There is a reason sex in public, group sex, bukkake , cuckoldry etc are popular. Humans like there to be something we have to overcome to get sex. We don’t want it to be dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:26 AM
3

I agree with you but I do want to point out if you’re finding you can only attract women with no hobbies, friends or job prospects you might do well to self-reflect on why that is. Is it where you’re meeting women? Is it the type of women you’re attracted to? Is it because you don’t lead with your hobbies or interests? Is it because you don’t meet women through mutual friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:19 AM
4

The last paragraph is something I try to gently say to women and you said it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:16 AM
6

My dad, boyfriend and male friends definitely like my company and hanging out with me. Maybe you would benefit from getting some male friends. Also a few points: men are like 80 percent of homicide victims. They also are raped at alarming rates especially in prisons where rape culture is practically celebrated by the public. Men are just more violent but women receive less of this violence than other men. Men in general tend to like women and not want to hurt us, even most sexist men. Unfortunat…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:55 AM
3

Well said. Bisexuality is framed as something that emasculates men, but women don’t really have an equivalent punishment for being bi. In fact, if a man says he’s bi many people think he’s really just gay. If a woman says she’s bi many people assume she’s really just straight or at the very least she’s gonna end up with a man because that is what a “real” relationship is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:25 AM
2

My partner is in the strip club business and he has mentioned a surprising number of women in bachelorette parties blow the strippers. Never heard of the women making out, but I guess when dick is there it’s more appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:59 AM
1

I see handsome men all the time. I’m about to get on TikTok since my work has died down and watch edits by thirsty women of a shirtless Kyle Gallner, Hamish Linklater, Caleb Landry Jones, David Duchovny, and a young but unfortunately clothed James Spader. The algorithm knows what I like. If I wanted to look at women or fuck women, I would. But tomorrow is the start of my weekend and I’m going to go blow and fuck my hot boyfriend whom I love. He’s tall, has a nice smooth and flat non lumpy chest,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:33 AM
2

Yes and women don’t really have refractory periods. It’s my main complaint with men. When I get one I like you can’t go all night unless you’re like under 25. I have endless orgasms and am essentially never satisfied. I envy men in some way. You can be satiated. With me it’s an itch that never goes away to be honest. But would you give this woman in the grocery store cunnilingus and have no orgasm in return? I always cum many times but I was raised to have no sexual shame and to take what I want…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:05 AM
4

I don’t need to know anything about a hot man to want him, no. I will say I probably find fewer men hot than you find women hot. That changes in Italy and Germany though. In the USA so many men are fat and I have zero desire for fat men. I also need a man to be dressed in form fitting clothing so baggy tshirts and cargo shorts aren’t going to do it for me unless the man has so obviously a hot body and a perfect face that even a terrible sloppy oversized wardrobe can’t conceal it. Honestly if men…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:19 AM
1

This idea that women don’t have this itch is a fairly recent thing. Hippocrates, Muhammad hell even in Lysistrata which gets oddly misinterpreted these days (the joke was women can’t stop their libido and it was constant) all portrayed women as the hornier sex that needed containment because we just can’t stop fucking. I know women say some bullshit about “reactive desire” but those women don’t experience reactive desire according to even them. Reactive desire includes looking at your partner an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:47 PM
3

When I was 20 men in their 20s hit on me. In my 30s men in their 20s and 30s hit on me at bars. Now I’m 40 and men about 26-46 hit on me in bars regularly (yes I go to bars often to hear music and live comedy). Honestly the age range just gets larger as you get older and the quality of men goes up. Men have always outnumbered women at bars. I’ve never been to a singles event but I am positive it would be like dating sites and men would outnumber women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:02 PM
1

Do women not want it as much or are women pickier about men’s looks and personality? I see women spending a great deal of time trying to attract a man they actually desire. Seems fairly central to many women’s lives. Whenever men go “well being selective proves you want it less” I say “then marry a fat and ugly woman. Since you want it so much more. That will make you happy. Right?”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:56 PM
26

Look at how Arnold Schwarzenegger talked with other men about how beautiful bodybuilder bodies are in those documentaries about his bodybuilding days. Look at how ads in GQ magazine for men’s perfume and watches look. Look at how marvel movies have men be absolutely jacked beyond belief. That’s not for the female gaze. There absolutely are men who look at other men’s bodies. If you’re implying women get wet when seeing women with aspirational bodies I doubt that’s at all common. Now watching a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:55 AM
2

Yes there are otherwise liberal women who hold on to conservative values surrounding gender roles. Usually leftist women have deconstructed this more.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:11 AM
3

Depends on the situation. Was it an affair or a one time thing? Does he have kids to think of?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:18 AM
1

Jesus. I’ve had way, way, WAY more partners than average and I’ve never experienced this. I can’t even imagine this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:16 AM
1

They told you they faked it? What jerks. How did that conversation go?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:08 AM
1

They think empathy is bad period. They aren’t saying we shouldn’t coddle terrorists or serial killers. Many think empathy is literally a sin against their God and aligns you with Satan who they tend to believe is a literal being. It aligns with their blasphemous “prosperity gospel.” In my humble opinion they act like agents of the Antichrist. I say modern day conservatism is antisocial because , well, let’s quote Thatcher: “there’s no such thing as society.” Conservatives tend to believe only th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:29 AM
1

Well modern day conservatism is antisocial at its core. The Republican Party’s talking heads literally say empathy is bad. So it makes sense you’d be drawn to it, assuming ASPD stands for what I think it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:11 AM
3

You also have far less estradiol than women which is vital for sex drives in men and women. Hormone therapies for low libido women aren’t effective if only testosterone is administered. Just pointing out that sex drives are complex and testosterone isn’t the only component for men and women. Saying women have less testosterone and that must be why they might have a lower drive isn’t the full picture. I could as easily say men have less estrogen and that’s why so many have lower drives than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:27 AM
0

Men my age and younger approach me at bars regularly. I think a lot of young men just are segregated from their more gregarious counterparts.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:19 AM
3

Because it is a conservative thing. It’s conservative gender roles. Some otherwise liberal women hold on to conservative gender roles. I say this gently, but the fact you think men and women tend to view each other as morally inferior says more about the social circles you run in than then the population on the whole. I’m aware it is not an unpopular sentiment, but it is much less common amount egalitarian people who by definition are not conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:17 AM
5

The best men (and male leaders and teachers) in the world are all those things but I understand some people call that their feminine side.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:55 PM
4

Examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:26 PM
1

Why not just prioritize men and women with children? And why not prioritize men who commit to marry and have children with a German woman? Why is it just women you want to “import?” A sure thing would be to import families with a few children already. That’s a sure bet and no gamble if the goal is more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:12 PM
3

What do you mean by femininity?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:05 PM
1

Sure some men prefer chubby women too. But it’s less common.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:32 PM
3

They aren’t wiling to work bedside in areas without unions and generally poor working conditions. We can influence the conditions to be more favorable. Bringing in nurses whose visas are tied to their employer making them so afraid to rock the boat they’ll take an unsafe patient load doesn’t fix the conditions: it exacerbates them. Keeping skilled and knowledgeable nurses in the ICU and ER instead of a constantly revolving door of inexperienced nurses does matter. It improves patient outcomes. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:33 PM
5

There are enough license holding nurses to do the jobs. Once they get experience they leave for better nursing positions that aren’t bedside. I’m saying make bedside sustainable as a career. Not to mention I’m shocked how little experience most critical care nurses have. I was a travel nurse after five years of nursing and I was commonly the most experienced nurse . That is terrible for patients. Nurses are basically liabilities the first two years in critical care and you don’t reach a mastery …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:17 PM
2

Why not also deport immigrant men who don’t have a child? Why are you focusing on women here? Men can have more children than women in a short time as well. Incentivize them to get willing women pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:03 PM
4

Side note: We don’t have a nursing shortage. We have enough nurses they just don’t want to work bedside because it ruins your back and the pay and work environment are terrible. It’s an often cited thing in nursing that we have enough license holding nurses. They go into other careers or take office nursing jobs once they wise up. We have been doing what you’re saying in the USA though by attracting men and women from Asia for example. In the end they also leave bedside but they are less likely …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:01 PM
8

Healthy animals have sex. They don’t choose pregnancy. Healthy animals choose to drink water, they don’t choose to have a healthy blood volume due to hydration. Healthy animals have an appetite. They don’t choose to gain muscle and fat. Animals don’t choose pregnancy. However have you seen those snails or worms or whatever who fight each other to impregnate the other one. Both animals can get pregnant, and the “loser” ends up being pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on the body and without modern medic…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:53 PM
2

This isn’t true. Women don’t like endlessly tall men. A graph of what women like looking at height wise is shaped like a candy cane, with 6’5 being the most desirable and every inch after falling in desirability. 7 feet tall men exist now and they aren’t considered the best looking per studies. The same goes for muscles. Women like a swimmers body (lean, v shaped torso, lean and muscular legs). But bodybuilders are usually a turn off for women. More height and more muscles don’t necessarily turn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:50 PM
32

You have to have extremely low self esteem to date anyone who views sex with you as a reward. People who have sex to feel good are the people who actually enjoy sex and they are better in bed. Any woman who uses the word “provision” when talking about a man is conservative and conservative women usually don’t really like men. They think of men as spiritually and morally beneath them, like dogs. They may treat a man as a “leader” but it’s because they don’t want to think and want to sit back and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:42 PM
1

I value youth a lot. Every male actor I’ve ever had a crush on looked best around the age of 25, sometimes younger. I just don’t care about youth if the guy isn’t hot. It’s irrelevant to me. He’s not sexy why do I care that he’s young?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:04 AM
1

But you’d choose youth over looks. I wouldn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:00 AM
1

So you would marry based on youth, not looks. Interesting. I find youthful looking handsome men most attractive. You find youthful average women most attractive. Women really do have higher standards for looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:50 AM
4

I think being able to tell if someone likes you is a normal skill for neurotypical people, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:54 AM
5

As I said, I don’t find men fake wanting a relationship. Men are pretty transparent generally. If a man gives mixed signals he’s not interested but normal women know that since women also give mixed signals when they enjoy dating but aren’t interested in pursuing it further. It’s a human thing, not a gendered thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:37 AM
3

Normal middle class men expect women (who aren’t independently wealthy already) to not be jobless. Only men with very low self esteem or men who want a woman to “save” think otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:30 AM
4

Every pursuant man doesn’t though. I find men are quite honest actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:22 AM
3

Agreed (though of course some men are exceptions like those with low sex drives and I’ve unfortunately been in relationships with such men). I never understood the idea that this wasn’t true for women as well though. If I lost my sex drive and my partner died, I’d not have any motivation to date. The whole point of dating was to have fun and sex and then a few times along the way I fell in love with a man who also fell in love with me. It really was never the plan. My current partner and I talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:21 AM
5

There are women who like it. I like it just not in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:11 AM
0

Women were publicly shamed and made social outcasts years ago for getting pregnant out of wedlock and yet women still had sex with men. Not to mention plenty of gay men married women in the past and didn’t ever express their sexuality out of fear. There’s even a term for this: beard.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:40 AM
1

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jul/15/women-as-likely-to-be-turned-on-by-sexual-images-as-men-study Women as likely to be turned on by sexual images as men – study
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:32 AM
2

No it’s women. Gay men have their own subs that don’t call themselves “ladyboners.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:28 AM
2

They don’t have to be celebrities. Celebrities are a common example because we can point to women very obviously publicly lusting after them. If I tell you every girl in my high school was listing after a 6’4 blonde boy who wore tank tops every day with gorgeous arms and a great ass that isn’t something you can confirm. Though it’s true. That boy made math class very hard to pay attention in for all of Mrs. Lovelace’s class. Meanwhile, we can point to women going crazy for those Heated Rivalry a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:27 AM
2

Oh women do find still photos of men attractive. Hot priest and firefighter calendars are a popular thing. We just would rather masturbate to the moving image. Porn is way more fun to get off on than a still picture. Given the success of the porn industry it would seem men are like women in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:18 AM
1

I mean we do find pictures of men sexually attractive, it’s just that actual porn or edits on TikTok are MORE attractive. I have a hot priest calendar from Rome. Those still shots are definitely attractive but if I want to masturbate porn is more fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:17 AM
1

When we asked women what body fat percentage they found most attractive, 58% chose the body with a flat stomach, and 39% chose the body with abs. The average man is overweight, but only 3% of women chose that body fat percentage. 0% chose the obese body. https://bonytobeastly.com/most-attractive-male-body-survey-results/ Fatness also affects men’s facial attractiveness. Jawlines and cheekbones are sharper at lower body fat percentages. There’s a reason leading men in romance movies for women loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:26 PM
3

There is nothing naturally feminine about long hair and makeup. Men used to have long hair and wear makeup in western society. I still want said men to be 6’5, have broad shoulders, a narrow waist, defined biceps, a strong jaw and brow, and sharp canines (much more common in the male of any mammal). In ethnic groups where men rarely go bald, long hair is the norm even for warriors. Think native Americans or some Asians. Samurai are depicted with long hair for a reason. Native Americans are depic…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:19 PM
1

Cherry picking I see. It also showed: “Studies comparing sex buyers to non-sex buyers have found that sex buyers are more likely, to report sexual aggression and likelihood to rape than men who do not pay for sex. Men who paid for sex scored higher on measures of impersonal sex and hostile masculinity and had less empathy for prostituted women” Also from my link: “studies have described that reasons for buying sex varies across groups of men and also include, for example, emotions, need of intim…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:45 PM
1

Men who attract women are also objects of desire. They are seductive because in large part because they are desirable. If you’re not into handsome men, fine. Most women want to be seduced by a man they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:07 AM
1

Some men do really like women in outfits. My bf likes me to wear certain outfits specially before sex. He even likes clothed sex sometimes (if I’m wearing the outfits he likes). Plenty of men like lingerie — and plenty don’t. If you mean some men look better with clothes on because it creates an illusion of a more desired body type: sure. And some women look better in a corset and push up bra than naked. Panty hose exist to smooth out the appearance of legs. High heels exist to change how men an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:03 AM
2

Ah I did read into that when you said the opposite works. My mistake. As a HL woman I will say, after the honeymoon stage as you said, if I wanted regular sex from most of my ex partners, I had to engage in foreplay. I’ve had men complain in the past me saying “hey let’s fuck” doesn’t make them horny. It makes them feel pressured and not turned on and all. I say this because I used to believe as a teen men were always DTF and I didn’t need to romance them. It really confused me and at times made…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 04:58 AM
2

Most men don’t ever pay for sex and the ones who do are different than average men. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01843-3
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 01:26 AM
1

I seek it out and the algorithm knows what I like. I will if you maybe try convincing your friends to have the type of male bodies most women want to watch on TikTok edits. That’s pretty important in all of this. Many male bodies don’t do anything for me, though they might in clothes because you can hide your true overall shape in some clothes. Like he might still have nice forearms so in clothes he might look good. Clothes can sometimes create more flattening lines than a naked unfit body.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:38 PM
2

I don’t even know what all day foreplay is. I’ve always dated fellow employed people with lives. Foreplay that lasts more than 1 minute is nicer for both men and women, typically. Makes the orgasms stronger. Women describe being attracted to men dressed with rolled up sleeves because we tend to like long, veiny forearms (very Freudian, isn’t it?) doesn’t mean they only are attracted to their forearms. Men talk about liking women in sundresses. Does that mean they are turned off by a woman in a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:34 PM
3

If the sight of a woman’s naked husband turns her off that’s extremely sad and not something a typical woman wants or expects. That woman finds a different size or body type on a man much more attractive than his. My partners have always turned me on when they did yard work or played basketball with no shirt on and shorts. Glistening sweat on their backs and arms, the shape of their long legs, etc. And yes my man walking in naked to the bedroom especially with an erection is exciting to me. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:31 PM
1

Responsive desire includes responding to planking until failure videos and men just out looking good. Spontaneous desire is literally spontaneous without any external input. I do have spontaneous desire but I experience responsive desire while watching these shirtless men plank and moan.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:29 PM
2

Never met a man who was surprised I get on top. But I agree there are plenty of women who don’t take agency for their own pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:28 PM
2

Generally women do like to find their partners desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:27 PM
3

Yup. The French Revolution influenced so much in Western History. We might have men still wearing wigs and makeup and heels had things gone differently. Men look so good in makeup done correctly it’s a shame. Especially eyeliner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:47 AM
1

The equivalent would a man “advertising” himself by dressing immodestly, going to clubs, posing pics on social media etc. It wouldn’t be talking to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:57 AM
3

I’d gently recommend not being friends with the type of men who talk about body count. They don’t like women. They certainly don’t all do this. I am in social clubs with men in their 20s. I never hear them talk about it. Some flirt with me and ask me on dates and they never ask me about it. Are these religious or conservative men? Secular liberals or leftists or progressives are far less likely to ask you about this. My boyfriend is even religious and pretty centrist politically but even he thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:39 AM
6

Interesting thought. You probably have heard of this but if you have not: the Great Male Renunciation in fashion is interesting. Men used to dress so beautifully! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Male_Renunciation
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:11 AM
2

Disagree. Most women wear makeup and heels to be attractive to the male gender. What kind of psycho woman wears heels for fun? It’s to look good. An exception would be like really detailed eye makeup. But most women who try for the natural look before a date are one hundred percent doing that in the hope their date finds them pretty. I can tell you I wouldn’t get Botox or lip filler or have my eye brows threaded if all men stopped existing. I’d get fatter too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:57 PM
12

I read once that in ethnic groups where baldness is rare the men tend to have long hair, including warriors. Like native Americans and some Chinese. Always thought that was interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:43 PM
5

True. I think paying for sex or sexual content feels more demeaning to women. “It reveals hunger and ambition that is unbecoming.” And yet women put on makeup and have their hair ripped out by wax and wear heels and uncomfortable shape wear and diet and pay tons of money for fake tans, Botox, lip filler, hair dye, eyebrow threading, fake lashes to get sex from men. But to pay for sex is somehow demeaning for women and for men to make themselves more handsome for women is demeaning and “gay.” Gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:27 PM
2

Almost every single time I go to a bar a man approaches me. When I was single it often lead to sex if I thought they were cute and I did maybe half the time. It’s interesting we have such different experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:01 PM
2

The woman seduces the man in porn. A lot of porn has women dancing awkwardly in the beginning and doing a strip tease, so there is seduction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:53 PM
9

Are most normal men paying for porn though? Most people get their content for free these days, no? Only like 4 percent of OF subscribers even pay for anything according to google.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:49 PM
8

Guys in eyeliner make me fucking melt. Gotta be applied correctly of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:43 PM
2

Idk man me and my boyfriend were both extremely slutty and sexual people before we met. He’s had sex with over a hundred women and he easily got laid most any time he went out. When I told to him about this sub on the rare occasion he doesn’t relate at all. He and I both know that there is a sea of single people out on Friday nights looking to fuck usually NSA. I don’t really know why you’re not aware of this. I’m guessing you’re just not very social?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:42 PM
9

Oh no we really care if you’re fat. Being fit and thin is the number one thing a man can do to be attractive to women. And yeah some people will shame you for makeup. But sex is a bigger motivator supposedly, no? And if like in Korea more men started wearing makeup it would become the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:34 PM
8

They wear it to look better full stop. Makeup makes everyone more attractive when applied correctly and in a natural fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:14 PM
8

Educated men in blue cities don’t tend to hate women. By the way thank you for the important work you do!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:03 PM
7

There is a highly visible subculture of highly sexual straight people though? Feeld exists off the top of my head. As a formerly extremely slutty woman I’m very confused by comments like these. Do y’all like not know about your local bar culture? Straight people who hang out in bars hook up all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:00 PM
11

I thought red pill men thought we all were riding the cock carousel? But if you think I’m a minority perhaps that’s why men have always loved me and treated me so well. I guess I’m just special.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:31 PM
2

How many guys is this? And the fact that they dumped you right after shows you they didn’t like you as a person. Those men did not like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:15 PM
7

Prince, Mick Jagger (those lips when he was young too omg), Steven Tyler, David Bowie, Kurt Cobain, Dave Navarro, Tommy Lee etc etc all famously loved by women. And of course The King: Elvis. Women threw panties at him and fainted. Because he was hot. And eyeliner made him even hotter which is why he wore it and dyed his hair to make his looks higher contrast. Because he wasn’t stupid. And he knew how to get women to love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:14 PM
3

How many men has this been? Please tell me you never talked to them again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:09 PM
10

And yet all rock and roll stars who wear eyeliner (including my favorite, Elvis) prove you wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:03 PM
12

Yeah the same way men bullshit women and say they prefer a woman who is “naturally” good looking without makeup. But men fall for the makeup trick every single day. Women fall for it too. Makeup works. If man cared so much they’d workout and wear makeup and style their hair. But most men just aren’t very sexually motivated and it disappoints me every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:56 PM
7

I watch solo men masturbating in porn probably at least five days a week. So yes. I would find it sexy IF the man was sexy looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:48 PM
7

You’re hanging out with terrible men. I’ve dated hundreds of men and slept with 50 plus men. No man has ever asked me my body count. I’m with a wonderful man in a monogamous relationship now and he’s never brought it up, because that’s weird as fuck. I’m in America though. Don’t know your culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:46 PM
11

The crushing watermelons between their legs trend is one I am highly enjoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:43 PM
16

Makeup makes men more attractive. That’s why actors wear it. If men gave a shit about being desirable they’d work on their looks and learn to wear subtle makeup to (scientifically proven) increase their attractiveness to women. But men can’t even stop being fat despite this supposed interest in attracting women. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:10 PM
8

I am real. Why would I be sarcastic? Slutty women like me who love men are all over the place. Just go to your local bar. We usually like having a couple of drinks on a Friday night too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:01 PM
1

If a man asks you that, that man hates you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:50 PM
3

Plenty of gays and lesbians are in the closet. Different people react differently to purity culture and the idea that homosexuality is a sin. One of my friends is married to a woman (lesbian marriage) and her wife is still not comfortable letting her work know she’s married to a woman. Strange to me but it still exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:46 PM
0

lol yes. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:36 PM
4

You said female sexuality in general doesn’t like looking at men as objects of desire. I’m saying: I disagree, and probably me disagreeing is one of the reasons I orgasm so easily. I only fuck men who are desirable. Weird that you’d fuck men you don’t desire sexually. You just have to be like convinced into it by some ugly man? But if he makes you feel desirable you’ll fuck? Like Jesus Christ I can’t imagine having such low self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:35 PM
3

Kyle Gallner posts for free stories on instagram himself in tank tops doing all sorts of things and me and countless other women act like he’s sending us love letters from the frontlines of war. Damn that man is hot. I don’t know why y’all ask these questions and then I get on here and say “if you’re actually sexy yes many women will desire your body” and y’all want to nitpick. He’s sexy because he has gorgeous eyes, and lips, and cheekbones, and hair, and shoulders, and arms, and legs and he ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:33 PM
13

Reactive desire would include being turned on by nudes or sexting. Reactive desire means you react to external stimuli and don’t have spontaneous desire. I find women who aren’t sexually attracted to men fascinating. I love when my man sends me videos of him masturbating. I have an immediate (reactive) reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:24 PM
2

Look up Kyle Gallner as Hasil Farrell or Simon in Dinner in America. Off the top of my head on TikTok this is what many women desire. You will find he is often shirtless and gorgeous. You’re welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:23 PM
7

Girl don’t generalize me and pretend women in general just get off on being passive objects of desire. Smdh. I happen to have a sexy partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:09 PM
11

This is only true of women who can’t orgasm with themselves in control. I don’t need a man to perform tricks. I can get on top and orgasm easily. And yeah he needs to look sexy for me to do that. It’s really weird to me that some women act like men give us orgasms. We orgasm. We do. Men don’t perform tricks and magic to get us to. Just get on top and look at a sexy man. If you’re not orgasming during sex, maybe it’s because you’re not looking at a sexy man. I can’t orgasm without imagery general…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:04 PM
9

I love him! He’s so hot and the hoetry given to him is top notch.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:03 PM
40

…. Yeah I’m just gonna go back to TikTok and keep watching planking until failure videos of random shirtless men that me and millions of other women watch. I have spontaneous desire and my favorite thing to do is to look at hot men. My favorite pastime is looking at sexy men along with, again, millions of other women. I BEG men to make themselves more beautiful. Grow your hair long. Wear eyeliner and some foundation. Workout and stop being fucking fat. It would go a long way and I’d like more of…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:57 PM
18

I like it when other people make me things too. It’s because they don’t go through the pains and stress of pregnancy and labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:29 AM
7

I love feminine men! A good mix of feminine and masculine is the best. Bi men tend to be amazing in bed. I watch prostate stimulation porn, but not pegging. I’d agree most women don’t want to peg men. But some women really love it. I prefer to use my vagina to please men because it gives me pleasure at the same time and we can orgasm at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:36 PM
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I wouldn’t date a man who thought like this because that man is insecure and insecure men will ruin your life. My man feels special because I love him and want to have sex all the time. The only sex act that I reserve for relationships (so not ONS or casual) is blowjobs. I’ll let ONS go down on me and they usually did, but I don’t want a dick in my mouth without a condom if I don’t know the guy so what’s the point? Regular condoms taste terrible. I know my man used to have anal sex with an ex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:12 PM
1

I also come from a family that is fine with casual sex. My mother used to tell me I should have a different man for every day of the week, and one of them should be able to dance, one should be a good cook, and one should be gay. That was an actual saying she had. It wasn’t something she said one time. So I was primed for the idea that it was fine to refine my taste by sampling many men in my youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:04 PM
1

I always orgasm usually more than once. I have had a great deal of casual sex but I’m in monogamous relationship now. I’ve wondered before if my ease with orgasming made me more interested in casual sex than other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:51 PM
2

I always orgasm usually more than once. I have had a great deal of casual sex but I’m in monogamous relationship now. I’ve wondered before if my ease with orgasming made me more interested in casual sex than other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:51 PM
2

No. Had a stillbirth and never wanted to go through labor again after that. Pregnancy never really affected my sex drive but once I recovered it was actually higher for a bit. But I didn’t have a kid keeping me up all night!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:01 AM
2

47 studies. Read again. Not participants.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:53 AM
3

Our thoughts and feelings affect our sex drives. If I think even unconsciously “oh I’m ovulating! My sex drive is high then!” Then I might feel amorous more easily. Then my sex drive will be higher. Conversely if I think it’s going to be lower that will have an effect too. It might just be a compounding effect but yeah. You don’t think thoughts and feelings affect sex drives? We have some choice over our thoughts and feelings. Especially with practice and thought work. And yes libido is affected…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:51 AM
6

I said nothing about women not loving their partners. You may be thinking of someone else. It’s important to remember a lot of what we think of as related to parts of our cycle are biological and a lot are cultural. Many women attribute things to their cycle that have nothing to do with their cycle, but if you expect to feel or be a certain way, you more likely are going to feel that way. It’s also a convenient explanation for some valid feelings. “I was mad at my husband (for something totally …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:22 AM
0

Congrats! You are not all women! Once a week is also not optimal “in any relationship.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:53 AM
1

Oh my bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:50 AM
1

I believe you about how you feel about sex. You said, however, once a week is optimal in any relationship. Like you said to the other user: Not everyone is you. I prefer sex at least once a day. At LEAST.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:41 AM
2

I don’t know that “most” women do have a drastically reduced libido because of this, though some obviously do. I’d be interested in evidence showing that. Women like me who don’t get PMS don’t talk about our cycles much since there’s not much to complain about. People tend to be more vocal about complaints (like how people are more likely to write a review of a negative experience than a positive one). So women who have exhaustion and all these things you list are going to be disproportionately …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:18 AM
0

An increase in libido around ovulation doesn’t mean there is no libido in women the rest of the cycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:01 AM
8

What? I want and have sex every day with my partner and do have it every day. What does any of this have to do with cycles?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:25 AM
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If they enjoyed it they’d want to do it. People naturally want to do enjoyable things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:43 AM
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Oh so she lied to herself. Sounds like low self esteem and validation seeking too because she was accepting things she didn’t want. Happy, secure people don’t do that. If you have sex for shitty reasons (validation, to numb out and escape, to try to control the other person) you’re going to have shitty results. If you have sex with people because you just want to have sex and you have a connection, casual sex is great. Sex is like food. It’s sacred and fun and there’s different ways to approach …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:17 AM
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Nothing wrong with people having safe consensual sex. It doesn’t make people “bad.” But then again I’m a slut happily with another slut for years who makes me orgasm at least twice every time from penetrative sex and countless times with oral. I don’t relate to this insecurity of yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:07 AM
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That sounds like something said to inflict pain. Yes. Dump her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:56 AM
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Starter husband? Wouldn’t he not be what they settle for because they expect to move on? Who has ever said someone would make a great husband but not boyfriend? Everyone settles in some small way and if they love their partner they don’t really care. Very Religious people especially fundamentalists are something I’d advise sane people to steer clear of. I’ve had my hot girl summer? Like I had some flings and now I want true love? Makes sense. Men and women do this. Too nice means she doesn’t lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:53 AM
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Has this happened to you where a woman tells you she used to do something she enjoyed but doesn’t want to with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:47 AM
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Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:43 AM
8

My relationship at 40 is more fulfilling than any relationship I’ve ever had, and I’ve had several. I’ve had plenty of causal sex too. It wasn’t more fun. It was very fun because sex is very fun. But there’s different types of sex. There’s “ok let’s do this for fun” sex and there’s “I am so deeply in love with you and need you” sex. Guess which one is better.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:46 AM
-4

You’re comparing apples and oranges. If women fail to get selected y’all would say she must be super undesirable and defective since apparently men have no standards supposedly. Women fail to get selected all the time. Plenty of lonely women out there who can’t get a boyfriend. Men are free to choose badly and date the hot crazy chick, the unemployed hot chick, the hot alcoholic or the stripper when they’re young and they aren’t socially punished at all. Maybe they are shamed by super religious …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:30 AM
7

And when will one percent become 60 percent and how will they overturn the constitution?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:53 PM
7

About 1 percent of Americans are Muslim. Latinos account for 20 percent of Americans. Mexican American Catholics tend to have plenty of children and there’s more of them. Additionally Muslims usually become much more liberal with each generation in America. https://www.cato.org/blog/muslim-immigrants-assimilate-even-more-polls-muslims-indicate
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:20 PM
1

I get turned on just by looks. Plenty of women date men who would make terrible partners but are good in bed. There’s whole comedy bits by female comedians about how good dick is rarely attached to a good man, the best dick is broke dick, and the best lover women ever had didn’t have a drivers license or a credit card (or furniture, or food in the fridge…). So I know I’m not alone considering how popular these comedians are and all their views. Plus about half my friends are like me. So women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:57 PM
7

It’s not crumbling. My country (USA) still dominates the world militarily and will continue to do so for some time. You talk about sharia law but the Middle East isn’t invading the USA anytime soon. China, Korea, and Russia are way more powerful than any middle eastern Muslim country.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:49 PM
3

Men are influenced by what other men think is attractive. Plenty of men secretly like bigger women for instance but don’t want to show her off to their friends. I’ve definitely known guys who said they had crushes on girls in school but wouldn’t tell their friends because the girl wasn’t considered hot. The alcoholic beverages men drink go by trends. Craft beer was huge a few years ago and men got really into talking about the process of making it while at their local microbrewery. Humans in gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:43 PM
–

Are women telling men “I love sex with you but it doesn’t scratch that itch?” Dump those women. That’s a fucked up thing to say. If it’s all just happening in your head I’d question why you’re being so MEAN to yourself. “The sex is great but I bet she once had better sex because I’m fantasizing that she did!” That’s just bullying yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:52 PM
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I think because some men are so into status and hierarchies. The moment they think about vagina they’re thinking about other dicks being in it. It’s all very straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:48 PM
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Women being more selective than men is never a point of disagreement. Women however often select different men than each other. One woman’s group of men she finds attractive her best friend will think some of those men aren’t attentive and some men she wouldn’t choose are extremely attractive. Same with men. Tastes vary. Are there conventionally attractive men that women are more likely to like? Of course. Same with men and conventionally attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:46 PM
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If a man used to give oral sex to his ex’s and didn’t want to with me I’d assume he was always a bit weird about oral and also not that into me. Your take is reasonable but I disagree this is a common problem in healthy and happy relationships. If you want a sex act find out soon if your partner likes it. If they don’t, don’t bother asking or begging or losing your dignity. Don’t ask them if they’ve ever done it. Just break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:37 PM
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No one cheered it. They disagreed in technicalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:33 PM
2

It’s not the responsibility of men either. Everyone is responsible for following the law. If they don’t they are responsible for the punishment they receive. Technically we all have no other responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:32 PM
2

Do you think if a rich female celebrity who looked about as sexy as current Leo asked out a broke good looking young dude and promised to take him on vacations and pay for all kinds of toys (cars etc) many young men would say no? I’m sure many women enjoy his money and the connections he helps them make and they know it will be over soon and they can go on to marry someone they find actually desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:30 PM
1

Where is this propaganda? I’ve seen some misandrist stuff on TikTok from smaller creators or niche bigger ones but never movies or other mainstream media.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:10 PM
1

I tell women online all the time to remember porn scenes or movie scenes or scenes you make up in your head that make you really aroused during sex. You don’t have to think of it the whole time just for a few seconds now and then. Or think about it the whole time if you want. Don’t know if people want my advice irl though. They might not want it on Reddit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:08 PM
1

Not agreeing necessarily but why do you think women decided that men are awful?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:03 PM
3

He has said he prefers relationships be transactional (“a trade”).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:01 PM
1

I don’t think it’s just the right dick. I think a lot of women who don’t orgasm from PIV can’t get out of their heads. They’re self conscious or they won’t relax or they won’t be active in their own arousal and think of sexy thoughts that turn them on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:59 PM
4

For real. A lot of women who say men are bad in bed just starfish and don’t communicate. They think men should be mind readers and that they aren’t also responsible for their own orgasm. It’s so regressive. It’s giving away all your power and then complaining you don’t get what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:57 PM
1

Being on top stimulates the clitoris and the woman has control of how hard and fast. It’s great for orgasming. If by scooting you mean grinding yeah men have more trouble coming from grinding but men love watching women orgasm on their dick, so they enjoy it in that way immensely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:57 PM
20

Every man I’ve dated loved hanging out with me. We were like best friends. We both loved having sex but it wasn’t the only reason they were with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:54 PM
25

We have plenty to gain. Love, companionship, sex. My partner makes my life immensely better.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:53 PM
1

If they’re genuinely sexually attracted to him they knew he was attractive to them almost immediately. They might require more for romance to ensue, obviously. If they thought he wasn’t attractive when they first met they probably aren’t actually attracted to his body now. Some women don’t care about being attracted to their partners. They usually aren’t that into sex generally. Third possibility is these women aren’t attractive and so they can only attract men who aren’t attractive enough to in…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:49 PM
3

Oh 100 percent
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:01 PM
2

One night stands in general are rare. So yeah it’s rare. But among one night stands it’s not that rare. Average to below average men who hang out at bars and know how to chat up woman get laid at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:20 PM
–

But why do you want to do a sex act they hate? If you want that sex act, why not be with someone who enjoys that sex act?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:10 PM
2

You’re right women don’t usually want to be with men they consider “uglier” and lacking. Women tend to be selective. But for one night stands? Yeah drunk women sleep with men less conventionally attractive than them often when it comes to one night stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:09 PM
2

People are very attracted to people who are better looking than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:02 PM
–

How is a sex act someone did once and hated “part of their best?” The wording here is vague.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:53 PM
3

No the man just has to be very attractive to her not necessarily more conventionally attractive than her, though obviously conventionally attractive people have an advantage in dating. Women have types. If a man is her type and attractive enough she’ll go for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:52 PM
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You said you wouldn’t French kiss a woman who used to not like French kissing though. Do you want to do a sex act with your partner that they hate? How is that “fair?”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:24 PM
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So if in your first relationship you didn’t perform a sex act like oral sex, you think you should never perform that with anyone because it’s inconsistent and unfair. I only kissed my first boyfriend so I shouldn’t ever have sex in your view? I only kissed my first boyfriend maybe ten times. So I shouldn’t kiss anyone more than ten times? Why? Why would this consistency matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:12 PM
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Why is what you want defined by her past? Don’t you have desires independent of other people? Why do you care about consistency? If she didn’t like French kissing before but she did like it with you would you refuse French kissing because that’s inconsistent? You don’t just randomly care about it. There’s a thought behind the thought “I care about consistency.” Fairness is interesting. If a man has been pegged before and didn’t like it, is he being unfair if he doesn’t allow me to peg him at lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:54 AM
2

Why do women watch TikTok’s of how shirtless guys while alone and browsing anonymously? These are very popular in TikTok. Some getting a million views. Why would we do this if we don’t find men attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:48 AM
2

Women are pickier about looks than men. We are more selective about most traits of a partner generally, especially for short term dating. Men with options tend to be picky about long term partners. But most women aren’t lesbians or bi. Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:38 AM
1

This is a very good question.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:24 AM
2

No I do it because I’m highly attracted to certain men. Any thrill I get is because I’m so attracted to them. It wouldn’t be remotely thrilling if I didn’t feel attraction. Why are you so angry? Why do you need to believe women don’t ever feel attraction for their sex partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:09 AM
3

Women do ask men out or flirt with men they like. The convention is for women to flirt and men to ask out. But that’s convention. The woman is active in this. Women used to drop their handkerchiefs in front of men they found attractive as a way to start the interaction indirectly. It’s just social theater. It’s a dance. My mother told me as a kid if I thought a boy was cute I should do everything to make it clear to him that if he did ask me out, I’d say yes. I was literally told that was my par…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:54 AM
5

No women usually know if they want a man. It’s not a “slow emotional realization.” In Hollywood romances the woman is almost invariably immediately attracted to the man, there are just obstacles to overcome because that’s how conventional plots work. Without conflict/obstacles there is no Hollywood story. The female lead might hate him at first but she thinks he’s attractive and there is tension. Again, this is because it allows a plot. It’s why they never show the “happily ever after.” It doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:34 AM
5

They won’t most likely you’re right. Maybe if enough elderly out vote republicans but we see people vote against their own interest all the time. Despite this, it’s not the responsibility of younger women to have children just because our government sucks. Furthermore we can’t realistically sustain endless population growth so the shift has to happen sometime.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:27 AM
2

Oh she did a bad thing. Wouldn’t you agree a man who killed a baby is also mentally unwell? And not fit for parenthood? Not arguing. I want to point out this isn’t normalized or celebrated among pro-choice people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:24 AM
2

Please provide a case of a doctor willingly performing such a thing. Just one case. She bought a drug from overseas. She took this into her own hands and clearly is mentally unwell. She had to give birth anyway. She wasn’t getting out of the pain of labor. She could have waited a week. She clearly just wanted to kill it. No medical facility is going to be doing this. I disagree with abortions performed after around 24 weeks for reasons other than health of the mother or because of fetal abnormal…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:11 AM
3

What a weird, hateful comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:51 AM
1

Aren’t most biologists women? Wait, googled it. Yup. More than half are women. Same with microbiologists. I was gonna say in my microbiology classes in college it was like all women. The comment you’re replying to is BS hateful misandrist crap. You don’t need to diminish the contributions of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:50 AM
1

And is that happening for any reason other than to save the life of the mother or because the child has severe abnormalities and wouldn’t live long and would suffer the whole time? Be serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:45 AM
3

Why do so many women make edits on TikTok of hot men then? Why is tumblr full of hot men? It’s definitely women doing that. The plank until failure trend isn’t done by celebrities. American women have no idea who these rugby players are or if they’re even professional players. They’re just hot. I’m sitting here telling you I find younger Caleb Landry Jones hauntingly handsome and your response is what? Kyle Gallner shirtless is the only reason I got through the Strange Darling movie. I hated tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:48 AM
1

Women who are envious of other women and women who get it in their head that all they have to offer men is their body don’t like being desired for their body. But normal women and men like being desired for their body, but additionally their company and companionship. I love that my boyfriend thinks I’m hot. I went out with him in the first place because he has long, thick gorgeous hair and really full lips. Pretty eyes too. He’s not as tall as most men I’ve dated but he’s a bit taller than aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:40 AM
0

Usually the guy let himself go or she’s with him for money. Hot people date hot people. Though I see a lot of fat white women with super fit and handsome black men where I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:31 AM
1

“Men inherently desire women” for what? For how they make them feel and what they can do right? Sexual desire is about how the other person makes you feel and what they do. I’m thinking about how hot my partner is and how much I love him during sex. Sometimes I don’t think about love if the sex is rough and then I’m just thinking about how hot he is and I often fantasize about giving him a blowjob while we have sex. The visual of giving him a blowjob in my mind sends me over the edge. But then I…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:25 AM
4

What precisely do you mean by “respect” you in the bedroom? If you just mean how much they want you, I think I agree. I feel the same way. For instance if my partner didn’t enthusiastically perform oral on me I’d think he didn’t value me that much tbh. Enthusiastic sex is essential to a happy relationship for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:23 AM
1

Do you think he’d stay with you if you cheated once and took ownership?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:19 AM
2

I can’t know for sure because I’ve never been cheated on as far as I know. I’d be absolutely shocked if my partner cheated on me but we’re very happy. If he cheated I think I’d leave because it would mean he wasn’t at all who I thought he was. I would be unhappy if I stayed because all trust would be broken.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:18 AM
4

I’d agree with this take. Leo doesn’t look natural next to his girlfriends. It’s far easier to believe a woman of any age would be very attracted to Brad Pitt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:13 AM
14

I agree. I’d say most men peak looks wise in their mid to late 20s, but people who stay healthy look great all through their 30s if they were attractive in their 20s. In terms of emotional stability, many men in their 30s have chilled out on any anger or anxiety issues they had as young men. That’s a huge plus. I’m 40 and my long term partner is 35. His hair is less thick than it was when we met, and a big part of his initial appeal to me is he had long, thick gorgeous hair. It doesn’t change ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:10 AM
3

Some of them clearly do hate at least most men. I don’t see the point in denying that. But I’d say most feminists dislike a small minority of men vehemently and also a small minority of misogynistic women. They deny I suppose because they don’t realize how they come across or they think their hatred is justified. Another possibility is they say some of what they say to be provocative but don’t actually mean it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:52 AM
15

This is a fantasy in your head. And calling a person ruined because they’ve had sex they enjoyed before? What do you get from that? You feel not good enough so you call other people degrading things. And there’s no reason you can’t be great at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:19 AM
4

Does she eagerly have sex and get wet?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:59 AM
7

Wanting to pressure people to have kids in order to survive retirement is wild. That is not a recipe for healthy families.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:47 AM
18

Don’t get with a woman who is not attracted to you. That’s a totally normal baseline requirement in a relationship. Why you care about people’s sexual history so much is strange to me but obviously don’t be with someone who doesn’t want you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:44 AM
1

This is exactly it. I don’t know why people feel the need to claim it’s because of money. That’s a factor for sure and I’m positive it prevents parents from having several kids, but usually people who want one or two kids just have them anyway, regardless of finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:41 AM
27

We don’t. The people I know without kids just didn’t want kids. People blame the economy but poor people continue to have many kids. In countries with free healthcare, free higher education and just generally a robust social safety net birth rates are as low or lower than they are in place like the USA. People who want kids generally will have them. It turns out, given the choice, many people just don’t want children. That’s ok. You know when I was a child over population was the big concern. Si…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:37 AM
–

Oh yes I have noticed this! I need to remember it when I’m browsing for it though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:13 PM
–

Sexuality in general is complicated. Men are more likely to have fetishes. You won’t hear much about women having a foot fetish or cake sitting fetish or balloon fetish. As for lesbian porn: I usually watch solo men, straight or gay porn but when I’ve watched lesbian porn it’s specially for better shots of cunnilingus. I’d rather it be a man performing but it’s difficult to find porn with good shots of men performing oral on women. So I just focus on the mouth and tongue, not the face.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:35 AM
8

You’ve never heard a woman say she likes tall, dark and handsome men? Really? The percentage depends. When I’m in Germany a great deal of men are very attractive because the population is thin and fit. Here in America, it’s significantly less. I don’t find obesity attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:20 PM
18

Well I’m here to tell you women mean they want a man they find attractive sexually to be nice (kind is a better descriptor).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:53 PM
3

That sounds wonderful. I’m glad it helped you. Just hope the misogynistic elements didn’t rub off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:51 PM
3

You said there’s not way to monetize men’s bodies: There is a way to monetize men’s bodies to women. That’s why Brad Pitt gets all the plastic surgery he gets. To stay handsome and keep getting movie roles that will bring in an audience. Yungblud is an artist right now who seems to have a predominately female audience. It’s because he has a gorgeous body, full lips, and pretty eyes that look great in eyeliner. Women go to his concerts. It makes him money. Just because women visit sex workers les…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:12 PM
2

You want to explain away every example I have by status, but if I tell you about the underemployed hot as fuck bartender I know who lives in a studio apartment and still does cocaine in his 30s you won’t care either. But he’s drowning in pussy. Because he’s hot. I use known men because they are known. Plenty of gay men live in supportive communities and are out. Other gay men live in conservative ones and stay in the closet. Plenty of women (like me) were raised by extremely progressive people a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:00 PM
3

My comment is relevant to your comment. Don’t have a response?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:43 PM
3

Are you really arguing that actually I’m wrong and women can’t get causally sex more easily than men? Plenty of gay men still die in the closet to this day. Social expectations clearly influence behavior. Celebrity obsession: I’m listing conventionally extremely hot men. Do you think maybe part of why they became celebrities was because they’re hot to women? Elvis takes my breath away. Women threw their parties at him. Rudolph Valentino was so beautiful it hurts and when he died there was worldw…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:39 PM
3

I think you’re trying to say a man’s looks can’t make a woman’s pussy wet. Porn watcher here: yeah they can. Those men in porn aren’t high status and I know nothing of them (though small hands, the girthmaster and Owen Grey seem cool and I follow them on socials). I like how they look when they’re fucking. Or standing. Or running. Or chopping wood. Or planking until failure. It turns me on. I was raised in a really sex positive household and my mom openly sexually objectified men so I learned it…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:28 PM
3

As for sex workers I think it’s two fold: First, women can get casual sex easily because men have lower standards than women. Second, women aren’t primed for the idea of having sex with a man who isn’t actually wanting to fuck them. Men are more likely to be socialized with the idea that they have to buy sex from a woman anyway, so why not just see a sex worker since “I’ll be paying for it anyway.” Paying for sex from someone who possibly finds you gross is something women are going to be less l…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:16 PM
5

But those men don’t want or even know their fans. They’re just gorgeous men. They’re known specifically for being gorgeous. I understand what you’re talking about. Most people are aroused by being the object of desire. That’s why on Reddit when women ask men “what can a woman do to make sex better” the top answers are always show desire and enthusiasm. It’s why incels usually don’t want to visit sex workers. They want to be desired. This doesn’t erase sexual desire for the other person. It’s not…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:53 AM
5

You really must not be on my corner of TikTok. It’s mainly women salivating over shirtless men “planking until failure” and rugby players lifting each other up by their shorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:49 AM
4

I don’t think kpop fans would tell you those men aren’t objects of desire. I’m on TikTok and TikTok knows what type of man I like because it’s like an all knowing god. I watch edits of hot men made by women and the comments are so feral and clearly from women based on the anatomy they are describing that is reacting. If you get on the side of the internet obsessed with Kyle Gallner for instance you’ll see he’s very much seen as the object of desire. Plenty of women do conceptualize themselves as…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:27 AM
7

Weird because I watch gay porn not lesbian porn and I’m a straight woman. I have sex with men because they’re hot to look at. I assume any straight woman attractive enough to get men she’s also attracted to feel the same. I’ve seen some women say men’s bodies do nothing for them. I assume those women are either not actually straight or are unable to attract men with sexy bodies. Not all women can.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:20 AM
4

They aren’t being used. You can’t be used for sex if it’s consensual. Now sometimes people lie in order to get sex and hide their real intentions. Usually though it’s just after sex people realize there isn’t much compatibility. No one is used in this scenario even if men’s and women’s feelings can get hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:39 AM
15

Get a vasectomy. Now you’ve controlled your reproduction. Easy. Put sperm in a sperm bank of you want kids later.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:36 AM
4

Never seen a blue pill person claim women don’t care about looks. I’ve never met anyone in real life ever who claimed women don’t care about looks and most admit that most of us care a great deal about looks. Normal men and women with options just also care about personality. Anyone with a scrap of self esteem wants to like their partner’s personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:43 AM
1

Women who don’t orgasm every time they have sex, you mean. That’s what being trained to be passive does. I cum multiple times during penetrative sex and oral sex because I am not passive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:20 PM
–

Because black and white thinking is a cognitive distortion that harms people. There is a well established link in the literature to anxiety and depression. Also eating disorders, perfectionism, social division, reduced resilience, avoidance, procrastination, fragile trust, conflict escalation, unrealistic expectations, communication breakdown… I could continue for some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:18 PM
2

Your answer might work but not as well as others work. This is exactly my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:50 PM
3

No one does ask about in my circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:34 PM
6

“Submit to his sexual power” wow. “He can do whatever he wants with her.” Why isn’t it ever that he is submitting to her sexual power and she can do whatever she wants with him with you guys? Have you never hooked up with a sexually confident and liberated woman who cums a lot and communicates well and isn’t a starfish? Is this fanfiction in y’all’s heads about “chads” just treating women like shit? To be frank, I almost always felt like men I hooked up with were just looking to please me. But I…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:32 PM
4

In engineering or physics you can possibly think objectively. You can’t actually think objectively about much in life, and that’s helpful to remember for more optimum outcomes. You can observe people all you want but you won’t actually understand their motivations from just watching them. They themselves often don’t understand them. What exactly can be said black and white about sexuality? Black and white models aren’t supported by evidence as you know. Calibrating accordingly but still keeping …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:22 PM
–

People in general aren’t usually great about stating in public what attracts them because it’s taboo and rude. People don’t want to hear how you’re really doing when they ask how you’re doing and they don’t actually want to know who you want to fuck. If I was honest in public it would be off putting to many people. “Tall, long hair, wears eyeliner at home for me or ideally even out at night, legs a shape I like, wide shoulders, is fun, is not stupid, fucks me in a way I like ideally with a sligh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:34 AM
–

I like being sexy for anyone tbh. I don’t want to be harassed. But I love the idea of other people finding me sexy just like I love the idea of them finding me funny or kind or stylish. It’s exciting and enjoyable. I like discretely looking at sexy men in my daily life. It brightens my day. Why wouldn’t I want to brighten other people’s day? I’ve never been with a man who doesn’t consider my sexual pleasure and I’ve been with over 50 men. I don’t know if this is because I only date liberal or le…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:14 AM
–

Exactly. The women continuously picking criminals and assholes are often criminals and assholes themselves or have such cripplingly low self esteem or intelligence that average men should avoid them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:20 PM
–

You’d never personally dated what kind of college educated woman exactly? One who was enthusiastic about sex but wanted to wait more than six hours to have it after meeting?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:10 PM
0

First kiss: maybe 15? First relationship:18 First casual sex: also 18 Relationship number: like 8 Sexual partners: between 50-75 I’d guess Longest single: a year Longest sexless: also a year I find sex and dating very fun and to me they are important The best experiences in life sometimes involved sex or romance. I’ve had great experiences on my own too. Travel, architecture, friendships, nature, etc. all these things also bring me joy. For context I’m 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 04:15 AM
–

Oh men can be Karens. Anyone who has worked customer service will tell you. Some of the biggest asshole patients I’ve had as a nurse were men. It’s more common for men to be assholes to nurses at least in my experience. When I worked customer service it was equal parts men and women being assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:32 AM
2

I don’t even believe in a God. That was a joke. But I do think men have much more beautiful bodies than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 12:19 PM
0

I think women’s bodies are kinda ugly tbh. Men’s bodies are way more aesthetically pleasing. How anyone can look at a body that resembles the statue of David and not notice it’s the superior body and God’s favorite is beyond me. Men don’t have cellulite like women and everything is smooth and tight… This idea women are prettier is shit propaganda from straight men who can’t imagine being a straight woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:23 PM
1

I’m going to address CBT and DBT therapy as these are the models I’ve used most at work and personally. Therapy is about problem solving. It’s not about getting supported. A good therapist will straight up hurt your feelings with honesty. Validating distorted thinking of a client is harmful and no ethical therapist would do this. A good therapist isn’t there to validate you. Validating you is just basically telling you all your thoughts about life are true. But you’re in therapy. You likely have…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:38 PM
–

I’m not poly, but I’ve casually dated a lot. Has nothing to do with self-control or an inability to commit. I’m picky and enjoyed refining my tastes and experiencing novelty. Now I’m settled down in a committed monogamous relationship. My partner has a similar dating history as me. Why are you so upset with people? You’re using extremely judgmental language.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:21 AM
3

In my experience women who have a pattern of dating men who are emotionally unavailable are also emotionally unavailable. A great deal of women are emotionally unavailable and that’s why they’re attracted consistently to emotionally unavailable men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:48 AM
–

Except you’ll never really know if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Go to any clinic and see how many married people, especially women, end up with STIs because they trusted their partner. ETA: Wasn’t there a study that showed poly people have similar or lower rates of STIs precisely because they always use condoms unlike a lot of ostensibly monogamous people and they get tested more? Googled it and yup https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26395880/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pol…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:34 AM
–

You’ll never know if your relationship is truly closed unless you keep your partner in a cage. Condomless hetero sex is always reckless. But being reckless is fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:33 AM
–

I get the logic but you’re somewhat incorrect. Some of the casual sex I’ve engaged in was casual precisely because he wasn’t that desirable. If he were so incredibly desirable I’d pursue something more serious. Most of the casual sex I’ve had was with men I found physically attractive but their personality or their lifestyle (too much drinking for instance) left a lot to be desired. Other times I just wasn’t in a place in life to be in a serious relationship with anybody, but often it was casual…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:29 AM
0

Hard disagree. In college when the guys around me were fit I found way, way, way more guys attractive. When I go to Italy I find way, way, way more guys attractive. I grew up in the Deep South in the USA. Once I left for a major city outside the south suddenly men all were much more fit and groomed and suddenly I had way more dating options that were appealing to me. I already know what I find attractive. When I’m in an environment where such men aren’t around I simply don’t have dating options.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:01 PM
1

That doesn’t change that physical attraction (looks) is the primary stimulus of attraction for humans. Things like being emotionally intelligent don’t create attraction. They build on it. I know some women are going to tell you otherwise. Those women usually are unaware of just how much the don’t care about the emotional intelligence of a man they don’t find sexually desirable. Also, it’s pretty cross cultural that women find a specific shoulder to waist ratio attractive on men as well as health…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:25 PM
3

Agreed. A lot of it is lack of introspection/metacognition etc. Many men and women don’t really think about the difference between a thought and a feeling. A lot of people call their thoughts “feelings.” This isn’t me just being pedantic. It’s very helpful to notice what is an emotion and what is a thought. Our thoughts tend to be what create our feelings, not the other way around. Chemistry isn’t really “just a feeling.” It’s a feeling that arises because of our thoughts about the other person.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:19 PM
–

And this is why I encourage men to learn about subtle makeup like BB cream, concealer, light eyeliner etc. It improves men’s appearance so much. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp Conservative women or women who want to be the “princess” in a relationship will dislike a man making himself more attractive but I’ll never relate to someone who wishes their partner remain less attractive. Reeks of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:07 PM
1

Nah a big problem for me when dating was men weren’t trying to be sexy to women and a big part of that is fitness, hair styling and flattering well fitted clothes. It’s true people have to be more than attractive to get commitment from a woman, but you need to actually attract women in the first place to get a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:03 PM
-1

Men improving their health and looks is usually a positive thing. Attractive men are treated better and overall health improves mental health greatly. Shoulder pads aren’t “pathetic.” They used to be common. Honestly learning how to do subtle looking natural makeup would help men a lot. A little BB cream to hide a red nose and some light eyeliner and lip stain can make an average man really pop. And for god’s sake, grow out your hair if you have nice thick hair. Just growing it out a few inches …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:00 PM
3

What is the point of this comment? You’re saying women aren’t interesting and don’t have hobbies but then you admit you don’t seek out interesting women with hobbies. Like… ok? So do you see how you have crafted your own fate with women? And to be fair: I don’t really care much about men’s hobbies. I was attracted to my man because he’s my type physically and he’s just fun to be around. But I don’t shit on men and claim because my man doesn’t have many hobbies it means all men don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:15 AM
2

I understand that. I point out it’s that I’m visually attracted to long fingers and arms and legs because women finding height attractive is often reduced to a feeling of safety and it ignores that we just like looking at these thing and aren’t consciously thinking of safety. Straight men find wide hips on women attractive and we don’t pretend men are envisioning a live childbirth without complications when they look at a woman’s hips.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:11 PM
3

You think they’re worthless degrees. The people with the degrees may or may not. I mean my last boyfriend was an art adjunct professor at three universities with 50k in debt from getting his MFA. But I’m glad he got it because it allows him to teach art at the college level and that’s what he loves doing besides making art. If you’re only finding women with no interests, no social life and who are financially irresponsible that’s on you for not moving on. Clubs and art classes and cooking classe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:08 PM
3

I didn’t want to date a doctor or lawyer per se. I’m saying suddenly they wanted to date me once I was 30 and a nurse. My first long term boyfriend who pursued me hard after graduation was a surgeon. Then later a lawyer and then a man in finance. Now I’m with a man in the strip club business who is 1000x better than that ego maniac surgeon. I don’t care about dating a high status man. I care that he’s handsome, smart, kind, financially stable, interesting and fun. Oh and loves me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:00 PM
3

Women with herpes, no social life and no interests who are financially irresponsible and are miserable to deal with. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:24 AM
2

So you only attract women with no hobbies, poor social skills, and who can’t make it in college and can’t support themselves? That’s sad. Even sadder you’d settle for such a terrible woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:17 AM
6

When I was dating multiple men, yes. I don’t think about their “status” as you say though. Once I’m in a committed monogamous relationship obviously I’m not ranking men as I’ve chosen one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:26 AM
1

I’ll disagree with one point: Being tall is just visually attractive. Tall men are able to hurt me more and I’ve literally never been in a situation where I needed physical protection. Yet I love looking at long legs on a man. And long arms. And a long torso. Saying I like tall men to feel protected is like saying men like wide hips so they feel like their children will be easily born without complications. That’s the origin of the preference but in the moment it’s just that it looks good. Sure.…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:50 AM
3

It’s ballpark. I think he said it was more like 100. So 100s unintentionally was an exaggeration. I’ve slept with probably 50 men. Also ballpark. I prefer to be with men who have sex drives that match mine and usually I find that in men who dated a lot when they were young.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:45 AM
4

Why is it nonsense?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:03 AM
3

You act like he grabbed onto me out of desperation. This is all in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:16 AM
7

I just asked him if he’d date a dumb woman and he said “I have and I’m not gonna lie there were challenges.” So thanks for opening up this interesting convo between us. My first boyfriend barely spoke English but he was gorgeous so I can’t judge. Also I have no idea how smart he was because we couldn’t talk very much. We just had sex and never fought. That’s all I needed at 18. Edited to add: Oh he clarified it was only very short term dating. Makes sense. Meanwhile I was with a man I couldn’t t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:10 AM
4

This is weird fan fiction about my life. I’m guessing it’s a revenge fantasy most likely too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:58 AM
7

We know intelligence doesn’t make men erect and women’s pussies wet. It just makes for a better relationship, better parenting, better problem solving with life’s obstacles.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:53 AM
11

Because he loves me. Why would my age matter if I’m attractive and he loves me? Before me he dated a stripper. He wasn’t against it. I understand your comment about strippers and bartenders. I’m not playing stupid. I’m just pointing out he has dated a stripper.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:45 AM
7

Idk man I think he just might be in love with me like he says. Before he met me he was dating a stripper. There are all types of strippers. Some really are in law school. Some are addicted to drugs and doing other sex work on the side. He wasn’t against dating a stripper who doesn’t do drugs or do sex work. He just met me and the rest is history. Five years is whatever. He gets all my cultural references in jokes. As long as he gets my jokes and laughs I’m good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:42 AM
10

My dad wouldn’t shut up about dating a doctor after he got divorced from my mom. Then he got with the dean of a university and bragged about that. It’s about status as well as money. Personally I date a man in the strip club business now so I’m not bragging at dinner parties exactly. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:40 AM
14

My partner has slept with 100s of women. He’s in the strip club business and is around naked women all the time and has dated strippers. He’s conventionally handsome, tall, and charming. He could be swimming in pussy if he wanted. Instead he chose a me: a woman slightly older than him (he’s 35 and I’m 40) who is also a fucking burn victim (28 percent of my body). Does he think I’m beautiful? Yes. And I do have a great figure. Could he get with a much much hotter woman? Definitely. He’s with me b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:51 AM
1

Yes. When I met my boyfriend I wanted to just have casual sex with him. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Several months later we became inseparable. Now we’re in love. What changed is I got to know him. I wasn’t planning to do that. I just saw a cute tall Latino man with long hair (my exact type) and wanted to sleep with him. But he had to go and turn out to be amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:46 AM
5

Sure. Men and women both care about looks most. Having money is less important but makes both men and women a bit more attractive. “Good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well… most noteworthy, the earning-power effect as well as the good-looks effect didn’t differ for men and women.” From the link to the Northwestern study in my original comment. Also: Replicating previous research, par…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:41 AM
18

<image> You don’t sound religious here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:30 AM
5

Most people enjoy money since it buys goods and services. Going down in lifestyle for your partner is something that often leads to resentment, especially if the other person just doesn’t work. Ah you’re religious. That makes sense. Is this god of the male gender? Or is this god genderless? I’m doubting your god is female.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:55 AM
11

But seriously why don’t you care about your girlfriend’s hobbies, maturity, skills, etc? Why would you be fine with a broke woman? Do you have low self esteem or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:50 AM
12

Men understate how much they care, but they do care. Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences underestimated revealed preferences (i.e., they thought attractiveness was less important than it actually was). For earning potential, men’s stated preferences underestimated—and women’s stated preferences overestimated—revealed preferences. Implications for the literature…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:48 AM
13

RNs are also stereotyped heavily as promiscuous. I got better options because I then had a college degree and a six figure income. Upper-middle class men tend to expect their wives to be educated and have a career that contributes financially. I also had much worse dating options when I worked at a bakery and when I worked at blockbuster.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:32 AM
15

You don’t care about a woman’s social skills, hobbies, life experience and maturity? You don’t care if your woman is broke and works a shitty job she hates that doesn’t pay her bills? Why not? Dating gets better for everyone as we get older and more confident. My access to high quality men rose after I went back to school to become an RN. When I was a bartender, lawyers and doctors didn’t take me seriously. Once I went to therapy suddenly my relationships were easier and stronger. If I had to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:24 AM
2

I’m in a committed relationship. I still think about sex with other men. When I’m at a bar and see a good looking man I enjoy the view but I don’t usually like literally envision giving him a blow job because I’m trying to be social and present with my friends. Later while alone I might envision it. What triggers the shift? Honestly my mood. If I’m feeling really sexual I find a lot of men attractive. If I’m not feeling sexual the man has to be my type to trigger anything sexual in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:02 AM
8

Yeah so paying for pussy doesn’t count as making wet. Women don’t make men they are attracted to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:55 AM
3

I sit on TikTok at work when I’m bored looking at edits on TikTok of male actors I find irresistibly hot. I know the creators are usually women and it’s women I see in the comments. Why do you think I stare at a shirtless Kyle Gallner longingly? Because I’m a lesbian?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:53 AM
2

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:50 AM
8

It’s not sexually arousing. Is intelligence attractive to men and women? Sure. So is charisma. But I have to disagree that ambition sexually arouses women. Work ethic??? You think that makes pussies wet? Work ethic doesn’t attract most people. It only helps a relationship run more smoothly sometimes. Most people don’t want to live in a filthy house. But “chore play” doesn’t actually cause sexual arousal, it simply prevents resentment. Men and women often don’t want to have sex with someone they …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:43 AM
26

Yeah that’s when everyone peaks physically. Wealth never made a pussy wet. It just makes some women want access to that wealth. Plenty of men are looking for a nurse or a purse too. Plenty of women are willing to be used for their money just like plenty of men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:19 AM
1

Jordan wasn’t a sex symbol. He was an athlete. Even the male sex symbols who deny having a transplant like Matthew McConaughey admit to using medications to grow back their hair. But they probably had transplants. Hair transplants are big business for a reason: https://www.dentalhairclinicturkey.com/celebrity-hair-transplants/
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:17 PM
1

…. Shaving it clean means the man looks bald. It doesn’t help beyond making men look less diseased. Balding (depending on the pattern it takes) makes men look diseased which is even worse than just no hair. Still, most women are attracted to thick, shiny, healthy hair with good volume. It’s a sign of virility. There’s a reason so many famous actors get hair transplants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:43 AM
1

His current girlfriend Paula Hurd is 63. She started dating Gates when she was 60. Why does this bother you? At least you acknowledge Bezos is with a woman close to his age.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:19 AM
1

No. That wouldn’t be ideal. What’s the point of a perfect body if I can’t enjoy it? I’d be frustrated and resentful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:03 AM
0

Gates keeps going for women his age. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:12 PM
–

Well we will always have the planking until failure videos at least
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:04 PM
–

Well they actually moan when they’re solo. I hate how in straight porn the men are bored, silent statues most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:58 PM
–

Explain why women loved watching Jacob Elordi in Wuthering Heights. That movie wasn’t romantic. It was erotic. He was a terrible person in that movie (so was Kathy).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:56 PM
–

Oh yes and I love how men’s cocks look. Women’s genitalia just don’t do really anything for me in porn. They just exist. Sometimes I like imagining myself in the woman’s place but I’m looking at the man and using my imagination to picture myself with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:54 PM
–

Nah my focus is on the male form and I like gang bang porn where the woman doesn’t make noise but the men do. I also watch a lot of gay porn. I don’t find women’s bodies pleasing to look at at all. They look awkward to me. Men look like gods to me. Roman statues. Aesthetically extremely pleasing and sensual.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:41 PM
3

Sure. People looked down on Anna Nicole Smith for this reason. Her husband was so old people wondered about his mental faculties.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 08:07 AM
13

I see plenty of women and men loving assholes. The biggest bitches I’ve ever worked with always had husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:59 AM
25

Abusers seek people to abuse. Ramirez wasn’t abusing his wife. He was raping and then murdering elderly women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:58 AM
5

Only a really immature person would think a 40 year old and a 20 year old are equally likely to have power in a relationship with an older person.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:04 AM
3

Try opening the study again. It’s all in the links. I’m going to put this simply: women also don’t find money sexually arousing. Money never has made a pussy wet. Being tall, having broad shoulders and a narrow waist, thick healthy hair, nice smile, clear smooth skin, deep voice….. these things make pussies wet. Men with options, like women with options, enjoy resources. Everyone likes money. Communists like money. So given the option, men like money and they like their partner to not bring them…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:01 AM
2

Incorrect. Younger people in general are more visually and sexually attractive on first sight. Perhaps you were just unaware of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:55 AM
2

Gates had an affair with a woman older than his wife. A woman who is also rich and in the computer business. Now he’s dating a woman close to his ie age.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:53 AM
5

I agree it does not automatically mean a malicious power imbalance. Hundred percent agree. Especially if there isn’t a pattern of the older person seeking out much younger partners. Sometimes people just fall in love organically and it just so happens there is a large age gap. I love love. Sometimes things just happen and not everyone has a ton of opportunities for connection. I do tend to connect easily with men though so for me to choose such a young man would be very odd to most people and ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:19 PM
15

In my experience for men and women, if the younger one is like 19, 20, 21 …. This actually is often true. Normal 35 year olds with options aren’t trying to get in LTRs with 19 year olds. They usually are immature or they’re significantly behind in life in some way. That’s why a 30 year old won’t date them. I’ve seen this happen with my own eyes. Also when I was 19 I dated a 30 year old and realized eventually indeed he was handsome but he was secretly a drug addict who lived with his dad in a st…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 01:29 PM
6

Depends on the age. Being weird about a 5 year gap is silly. Even ten years isn’t strange if you’re talking a 50 and 60 year old. The reason people shame older women for dating very young men but not the young men for dating a cougar is the same reasoning. People suspect the older person has more power and is manipulating or abusing the younger person. It’s correct enough of the time for people to stereotype. I have trouble believing you don’t understand this. I had an opportunity to date a 23 y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 01:23 PM
8

At my work a woman in her mid 30s married a 21 year old. People absolutely think she’s messed up and controlling him and people talk shit about her regularly. Why bring up men’s looks? Because young people are more attractive. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:18 PM
13

Yes. Older people have more life experience and usually many more resources than 19 year olds. Young women don’t have more options to leave. They’re less likely to be able to escape for financial reasons. But you know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:16 PM
4

I actually don’t have HPV! I had the full vaccination series twice. Of course, that doesn’t protect against all strains. But, my gyno last winter tested me and said I have no strains. I asked her about this considering how many sexual partners I’ve had. She told me I’m just one of those people who clears the virus most likely. I’ve also never had a cold sore and tested negative for the HSV viruses!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:15 PM
7

Your study is men and women self reporting a rating. If you look at the studies I provided, you’ll see what women and men say they want and what they actually want are different. This study has nothing to do with speed dating: Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences underestimated revealed preferences (i.e., they thought attractiveness was less important than it ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 11:56 AM
4

I would say it was at its lowest in my early 20s. I didn’t go to college and college guys didn’t take me very seriously. I worked at a coffee shop by a medical school and would give med students my phone number. None ever called. By my late 20s I went to nursing school and suddenly doctors and lawyers wanted to be my long term boyfriend. Maybe if I had gone to school before I was 28 my experience would be different. I was definitely prettiest in my 20s. I grew into my face more so I’d say judgin…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 11:23 AM
3

But they don’t discriminate more harshly. In fact men of all age groups are famously far, far less discriminating than women. I’ll tell you a boring story. Don’t read if you don’t want a boring story from a middle aged woman . I’m 40 and the sexual marketplace and the relationship marketplace are skewed heavily in my favor compared to men my age and I don’t pretend otherwise. I can always tell when I’m the one with a little more power. And I’m almost invariably the one on a date with more power.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:21 AM
5

The idea that age is associated with masculinity is cultural. There is no biological argument for this. Older men are weaker and slower. Strength and speed IS associated with masculinity, and that is biological. I’m not ignoring the collagen aspect. I just didn’t address it. Are you ignoring the evidence I provided that men wrinkle sooner? And yes, they do. You’re definitely ignoring how much plenty of women love twinks. It’s possible you just weren’t a twink. You probably just were baby faced. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:10 AM
5

Men’s testosterone levels are on a steady decline once adulthood is reached. Women’s sex hormones are not decreasing until they rapidly do with menopause. Before that they’re stable. They cycle but stably. So yes men age faster. It isn’t until about 50 women have sudden aging. Men aren’t aging less, they’re just aging steadily. Luckily we have hormone therapy now. When I hit perimenopause I’ll be on hormone replacement therapy quicker than a blink of an eye. And the idea that women don’t love tw…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 09:42 AM
5

I don’t totally disagree. I made the point that most people want an attractive partner, period. Attractiveness favors youth but plenty of 40 year olds are hotter than plenty of 20 year olds. I’m 40 and I don’t pretend to be as attractive as Salma Hayek and she’s 59. That’s 20 years older than me. My boyfriend is 35 but I won’t pretend he’s as good looking as Idris Elba does at 53.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:19 AM
9

Yes, men age faster. Partly that’s because they have stronger facial muscles and partly because of how their skin is different from women’s. Men have more dynamic lines due to more movement but also they don’t appear as fine lines as easily, they much more quickly become deep set. It’s why so many men in their 30s develop those forehead lines and women don’t until at least ten years later. Men also tend to not use spf as much as women or retinols. Also men’s hair falls out, and usually women’s d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:44 AM
8

I agree that younger people are more attractive. I’ve always found men in their early 20s the sexiest looking. However, I wouldn’t want a long term relationship with someone 20 years younger than me. I’m 40. Luckily attractive people tend to to stay attractive and when you love someone you love their whole vibe. My boyfriend is 35. When he gets crows feet one day I doubt I’ll care at all because I love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:40 AM
33

Ah. Well that is a big reason someone who is like 40 would go for a 19 year old. It’s normal to be attracted to a 19 year olds looks. But huge age gaps in committed relationships are not normal and there usually is an element of the older person enjoying the power deferential. That goes for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:41 AM
8

Yes. Same with men. We are in agreement. I always find younger men more beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find men my age also attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:40 AM
2

Women and men are more likely to cheat with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:07 AM
2

I don’t pursue but I am very flirtatious. I’ll go out of my way to touch a man’s arm, make him laugh, tease him, openly look him up and down.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:59 AM
5

Not all these studies use speed dating. They still come to the same conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:53 AM
4

Oh for sure. Most people also don’t lead slutty lives and travel all over the world which always baffled me. My favorite hobby when single was sleeping with hot men I couldn’t imagine being in a long term relationship with. But I was raised in like the exact opposite of purity culture. My mother used to tell me I should have a different man for every day of the week. She also took me all over the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:52 AM
13

Women and men both have differing stated vs revealed preferences. Women overstate how much they care about earning power and men understate how much they care. Women and men (but especially women) understate how much they care about looks. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning powe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:31 AM
6

He didn’t pay them. His family is in the strip club business. He just knows a lot of strippers. I am proud of him. I’ve never had such a good relationship. He’s my best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:15 AM
5

Nah people just open up to me really easily. I’m always attracting over sharers. Something about me makes other women treat our convos like they’re in confession. A couple weeks ago a woman at work I just met told me she got kicked out of the Mormon church for having a threesome. Women just tell me crazy shit all the time. Especially sexual shit. The number of women fucking their husband’s brother or best friend is insane. I’ve had women tell me about how their kid isn’t their husbands but the h…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:12 AM
8

Idk my boyfriend fucked middle aged women a lot in his 20s. We have talked about it. But he also is just really good with women. Has had lots of threesomes with strippers and that kind of thing. I guess most men don’t have his experience. But he has explicitly said he slept with women in their 40s in his 20s. Often they were married. No it doesn’t bother me. Cheaters are going to cheat if they want. He wasn’t seducing them. If anything they seduced him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:07 AM
8

I don’t know any men or women dating much younger people in my social circles. But I do know quite a few middle aged women (myself included) who have or had casual sex with young men. Well I’m lying I know one woman at work in her mid thirties who married a man in his young 20s. But she has been punished socially for it. Other women make fun of her. Women aren’t always kind. It’s often suggested in causal convo that she must be unable to keep a man her own age. What can I say, I work with bitche…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:05 AM
7

I go to bars pretty often. Whenever I go out men approach me. Sometimes I’d use tinder. The last guy I slept with before my boyfriend was 27. Gorgeous but not particularly smart. He thought I was funny and said so often. Can’t say he ever made me laugh. Warehouse worker. My boyfriend now is super smart and funny. I feel very lucky. Me being 40 and him being 35 isn’t really an age gap. He gets all my cultural references.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:01 AM
14

Are you actually unaware of the trope of middle aged women sleeping with younger men? It’s extremely common. Fucking and long term relationships are different things. Most successful older men also don’t want to settle down with a younger women. I’m going to direct you to Bezos, Gates, Buffet, Zuckerberg, etc. The richer the man the more likely his long term mate is near his age. There have been studies about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:56 AM
20

I am a 40 year old. My partner is 35. I would not date a 55 year old man. God no. And for casual sex before my partner I was sleeping with men in their late 20s because they can go multiple rounds and have great stamina on TOP of being effortlessly hot because beauty favors youth in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:51 AM
-1

I don’t know I’ve known quite a few women who liked subby men. I can see the appeal. Something about a man on his knees. But he’d have to be hot so I assume you’d say he was physically powerful. But kpop pretty boys are young and handsome but don’t seem physically powerful. And bitches love those twinks. And Timothee Chalamet. You can’t tell me women think he looks powerful. He’s just hot. Like super young DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet or Titanic. I guess I counter with the universal known truth:…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:48 AM
38

Being sexually attracted to young people is reasonable. It is also reasonable to suspect people who consistently try to date people much younger than them are doing so for reasons other than pure sexual attraction. Most normal people prefer a long term partner be close to their age. That’s just a statistical reality. There’s a reason Jeff Bezos married a rich woman in her 50s. There’s a reason Bill Gates and Zuckerberg and most other rich men are with women in their age range.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:41 AM
0

I mean … women say they are but also most women know “broke dick is the best dick.” There’s a long tradition of female comedians speaking to the universal experience of how the hottest and best lover every woman ever had didn’t have a drivers license or a credit card. Or furniture. Or food in the fridge. He sold weed and had a six pack and big dick. “Good dick is never attached to a good man.” Women have more than one mating strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:34 AM
93

Yes everyone knows young women and men are more attractive. I’d say every single actor I find attractive was most attractive at the age of about 25. Sometimes a bit younger is their peak but on average that’s when men’s cheekbones and jaws look sharpest. I still find them attractive in their 30s and 40s if they keep their hair and the weight off. I use actors because we have footage that can be dated so I’m aware of their age and can compare. I’ve seen shirtless pics of my boyfriend in his 20s. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:28 AM
3

Agreed many therapists are bad therapists. As for the rest… and why is this a problem? Because of how it makes you….. feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 07:08 PM
9

If a therapist is just talking about your feelings with you, they’re a shitty therapist. The point of therapy is to learn to change thought patterns and behavior. A therapist who doesn’t call out bullshit and point out maladaptive behaviors is just looking for a paycheck. You talk about men being problem focused and women being feeling focused. In what way are problems affecting men? The problems are making them think and then feel things, right? What are women having feelings about? Problems in…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 04:42 PM
1

Maybe the women sometimes are the ones who are bad at it? When I’m there it is almost always fantastic. But I get on top and also give sexy directions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 04:10 PM
2

Yes. I’ve been close to many people in my running club, work friends, college friends and childhood friends. I have 4 extremely close friends I’ve had for decades. I’ve had I’d say 6 extremely close boyfriends all of which lasted 1-5 years. There are different levels of friends. I’m not going to not befriend someone just because they likely won’t be my friend in ten years. What a shallow, boring life. Likewise, there are different levels of sexual and romantic relationships. Beyond levels there …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 09:17 PM
2

I don’t care about its impact on my life. I’ve never been slut shamed by a man I’ve dated or would ever consider dating. I care about its impact on men’s and women’s mental health. Shame is a destructive emotion that doesn’t promote healthy behaviors. It’s a landfill emotion. ETA: women slut-shame too. I also am not friends with such women, but I worry about the effect their behavior has on our society as a whole and impressionable young girls and boys with low self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 08:19 PM
1

This is often true of many sexist men. It’s not true of many progressive men with healthy self-esteem. The last two men I hooked up before getting serious with my boyfriend went down on me until I begged them to stop because I got so sensitive from all the orgasms. Hook up with progressive, happy, sex positive men who really like women and you’re probably gonna have a great time. Ive said this a few times lately but I’ve slept with about 50 men. 2 were selfish in bed (1 of these 2 was only a lit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:59 PM
–

Nah I’m a decent woman and I watch plenty of porn and don’t care at all if my boyfriend does. Porn doesn’t threaten me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:59 AM
–

College educated couples are the least likely to divorce and most likely to get married. Working women with degrees who are in the top 20 percent of earners are the most likely women to get married in the USA and least likely to divorce. Women initiating divorce isn’t the whole picture. It doesn’t mean the relationship was working for the man either. Some men avoid the paperwork of divorce because they don’t want to be forced into child support, for instance. So they run off and try to avoid a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:57 AM
–

What makes a woman masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:54 AM
1

Plenty of hobo-sexuals out there, my friend. Nobody falls in love faster than a man whose lease is about to be up. So many men are looking for a nurse with a purse. That’s why the saying even exists. One of the hottest guys I ever dated mooched off me all the time. He “lost his job” when we signed a lease together and then couldn’t find one and wouldn’t accept a job I tried to get him at my work. But women turned and looked at him on the street so I stayed with him. To be fair, the other best lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:06 PM
2

I think way more women watch porn than we realize. According to this survey 1/3 watch it every single week. https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Survey-One-in-three-women-watch-porn-at-least-6584637.php I went to boarding school as a teen and in the dorms we all got together and would watch porn regularly. Back then it took forever to download porn and the school of course blocked porn sites. So everyone wanted to share the different porn they had since we individually could only get so much. Mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:56 PM
1

Nope. Blind people have sex. Sex feels good. But most sighted people who experience sexual attraction do get turned on visually. I also am aware many people are just married to people they don’t actually find attractive. If they like it, I love it. Actually that may be one of the larger taboos in our society. People marrying people they aren’t actually attracted to. Which again: if they like it, I love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:28 AM
9

They actually don’t. Studies about revealed vs. stated preferences always show the same results. If you’re interested: From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg Sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:01 AM
3

Everyone should. Too many people think just because they’re attached to someone and feel affection for them that they love them. It keeps people trapped in unhappy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:56 AM
0

I’ve experienced too many men that turn me on just by their beautiful existence. It’s a wonderful bonus that my boyfriend also is smart, kind and fun. I need all the boxes checked because I enjoy having an extremely active sex life. It elevates my mood every day and is exhilarating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:54 AM
2

No I just care about looks first and foremost. If looking at my man’s naked body doesn’t make me wet what the hell am I doing in that relationship? I have friends who are fun and love me. Fun and love isn’t enough. I only date men who turn me on and treat me well. If it’s a long term relationship he’s got to have my values and sense of humor too. By reactive I mean women aren’t the obvious pursuers. They are the pursued. As I said my best results came once I became subtly active by flirting but …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:45 AM
-1

I didn’t say I don’t approach. I said I don’t try to sweep men off their feet
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:48 AM
-2

I don’t find this is why women are on apps less. Women are as much if not more visual than men when it comes to sexual attraction. Women are very picky about looks if they can afford to be (that is to say, if they’re attractive). The difference I find is one of behavior. Women are socialized to think a men will come and sweep them off their feet. I’ve had quite a few men do this. Have I done this for men? Only once when I was a teenager and it ended poorly. And yes, he was my “looks match” it ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:33 AM
3

Everyone prefers to be taken care of. Humans are lazy. Women never just sat at home and did nothing unless they were absurdly rich, and their husbands also did nothing. Average women and men both always worked. Hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:20 AM
1

Consenting to sex means you consent to sex. Pregnancy is a possible outcome that most humans work really fucking hard to avoid. So nah, we ain’t consenting to pregnancy. And if we do get pregnant, we can have an abortion which is way safer than pregnancy, health wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:18 AM
–

This is the survey and I’d argue the trend is going to continue. Soon women in their 30s will also cheat more or as much as men in their 30s. “adults ages 18 to 29, women are slightly more likely than men to be guilty of infidelity (11% vs. 10%). “ https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:18 AM
–

Sure. But consider that more women cheat in their 20s than men and over the past few decades women’s rates of cheating at all ages has grown at a staggering rate. Btw. I’m a former cheater (though sometimes I’d have loopholes in my head like knowing full well the man assumed exclusivity but we didn’t talk explicitly about it) . I can tell you most women in older generations were raised to think they shouldn’t give in to their desires. But more and more women are, especially since we no longer re…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:16 AM
–

Sure, less young people are trying for sex or relationships according to surveys at least. There’s way less pressure to get married these days. That, to me, is a good thing. As for sex, well, I’m not totally sure why. It’s seems these younger people are much more puritanical than my generation (millennial). I came about during third wave sex positive feminism. These newer feminists are usually very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:49 AM
–

My boyfriend has had many, many one night stands and flings. He has a great body and works with predominantly women so knows how to chat them up. I see no reason to believe he’s cheating on me. He made clear with me he wasn’t looking for casual sex anymore. Funny enough I was when we met and he charmed me and wooed me and I decided eventually I was in love. Yeah. Plenty of guys who can pull women end up wanting relationships and are faithful. I’ve mentioned to him once if he wanted to open up th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:45 AM
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Women do have an advantage in dating, it’s just not that great, because women are so much pickier than men about who we find sexy. It’s not an advantage to be offered a buffet of food you find repulsive. It is an advantage when some of the food options are appealing to the appetite. Women find less “food” appetizing than men. These are generalizations obviously. Some women don’t have many options. Some very handsome men have a ton of options. Those men often get into long term relationships thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:16 AM
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Because of low self esteem or propaganda. Anyone who demands firm commitment (much less lifelong commitment) before a trial period that includes physical intimacy has some sort of hang up about intimacy or they think they’re not good enough if someone doesn’t declare their undying love. Plenty of women are like me and want a test drive, so to speak. But we have high self esteem and don’t believe sex devalues us. So we test out before making a commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:06 AM
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Women who aren’t raised on propaganda also want to have sex and then see what happens. Wanting a firm commitment from someone you haven’t had sex with isn’t normal behavior for humans who are sexual. It’s a sign of insecurity and being told if you don’t get commitment it means you’re not valuable. Are women pickier than men about who they want to have sex with and then see if a LTR is viable? Yes. Women are pickier about men’s looks, personality, etc etc for sex. This isn’t an incompatibility th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:02 AM
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Actually, a lot of what we’re experiencing is a return to normal as imposed relatively recent social norms fall away. Men invented monogamy because of the relatively recent human creation of property and inheritance of said property. Women and men aren’t naturally monogamous. Men just made women property. If men hadn’t wanted to enforce monogamy and long term relationships, we wouldn’t have them. Men are physically much bigger. Women never made marriage the norm by forcing it on men. As a woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:59 AM
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Not sure I understand your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:03 AM
1

If I’m on vacation and the guy is hot I’ve gone straight to casual sex if it’s offered. When I’m in my hometown I typically want to actually vet men because they will be around for longer. That’s the only difference I can think of. If they aren’t going to be around long, I’ll move to sex quicker because it’s really just all about the sex. There is no relationship being built.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:48 AM
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Ok. So which ideas do you disagree with. Specifically. You dislike being expected to be a provider? Yeah. Agreed. So you look for a woman based on if she can support herself. Very reasonable. What else? Like specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 01:40 AM
8

Boy he worded things in a fun way. Take a hint
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 04:48 AM
0

I’m sure you do! Wish the same for you bro :)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 03:32 AM
3

??? I’ve dated a TON. More than average. Now I’m in a committed long term relationship. I have a job that’s weirdly easy and hands off but pays very well because I have credentials the industry requires for me to just over see shit. Hence: Reddit. If I’m on Reddit, I’m on the clock.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 03:28 AM
3

He’s kind and smart. He has a good sense of humor. He’s good at banter.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 03:26 AM
1

Treat him right, girl. You know I’m waiting offstage should he find himself single.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 02:42 AM
5

Boy you know that made me giggle harder. Your gf is a lucky lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 02:40 AM
10

This comment made me laugh. You have a way with words, sir…. 6’4 you say????
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:26 AM
10

Yeah I have to say I don’t care about my boyfriend’s hobbies. He has some collections and plays games with other men. Never occurred to me to care. Wouldn’t care if he stopped (as long as that made him happy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:17 AM
11

This is the answer. Charisma helps everyone but if someone doesn’t like how you look it just makes you more charismatic, not sexier. There has to be baseline physical attraction already present and then everything else is a bonus that makes the notion of spending an entire lifetime with the person more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:13 AM
0

This would make sense if the nuclear family were natural. But it is not. Humans have always been social and had extended families. It wasn’t one man and woman against the world. Plus, men are more attractive than women. That seems blindly obvious to me. Women have to bend over backwards to be attractive. Men who are actually fit and not fat have far more appealing bodies without much effort. It’s total propaganda from consumerism and the media being from the male perspective to think women, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 08:49 PM
1

It’s not flipped in humans other than socially. Men are more beautiful. I say this as a heterosexual woman though of course. The reason men don’t doll themselves up (though if they did, like k pop stars, they’d have so many bitches they’d be drowning in pussy) is because they think they can impress women with a relatively modern invention: wealth. We didn’t evolve with our dna understanding the concept of stored wealth or property. Big, tall, young men were who had the power and influence. Wealt…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 08:41 PM
2

“Imprisoning my political opponents isn’t fascist, babe, I promise. Babe. I just want to help everyone but have no feedback or opposition. Babe. I’m a good faith actor. Just let me imprison everyone I disagree with. Babe. I’m here to help.”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:12 AM
7

What a weird fascist sounding comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 03:15 AM
14

I have a drive to approach men and do, I just do it passively because it’s the social norm. My mother taught me my job was to lightly flirt and make it clear to a man if he DID ask me on a date, I’d probably say yes. I think most women are taught this along with “just ask him about himself and laugh at his jokes.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:43 AM
7

Men desire marriage now more than women. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/11/14/12th-grade-girls-are-less-likely-than-boys-to-say-they-want-to-get-married-someday/ Women used to supposedly desire it more because it was literally their job and how they survived an how social power. Not sure what the comment about the male animals usually being more attractive but it’s true for human males as well. Men are supposed to visually attract women. The only reason that changed was a perversio…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:39 AM
4

A man approaching first is perceived as being more interested. A lot of women think if they cold approach a man he’ll say yes just for the novelty or because he’s worried he won’t get laid otherwise meanwhile he doesn’t remotely like her as a person. I don’t think this fear is unjustified but it’s overblown.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:35 AM
2

I don’t agree women are the “most privileged.” That’s still rich people and it helps immensely to also be white, male, able bodied, heterosexual, Christian, and not neurodivergent. I can tell you one privilege I’ve noticed. I am treated more kindly by male customer service workers. I was on a train recently and was sleeping in an emptier car that we weren’t supposed to be on. But you could have no one next to you so I went there and like four men were there too. The ticket checker or whatever ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:26 PM
1

But I unironically agree. If you live in a small place a weekly or biweekly maid is a great idea. But nice April fools post!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:54 PM
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More like men no longer control society and the transfer of stored wealth so women don’t have to date undesirable men for survival.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 01:44 PM
63

I avoid people who don’t have empathy period.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:58 AM
5

As a woman I get fed bullshit because men always want to talk a big game. Well, to be fair two men admitted to me that they only would want sex a couple of times a week. And good on them. But both still wanted to persue a relationship despite me expressing how unhappy that would make me. The men I dated whose drive mysteriously plummeted all talked a big game though and when their refractory period made it so they couldn’t get it up again later in the night they swore up and down that never happ…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:49 AM
6

Yes. I empathize but there is nothing to be done about it. Some men are going to have to really settle or be alone. Likewise, some women won’t have access to who they are attracted to so they will be alone. Do you recognize some women have no access to the only men they find desirable? They may have access to men who they don’t want, but to women that often isn’t better.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:31 AM
4

Agreed. It is usually different and I’d advise against it. I’ve been in three long term relationships where the man either totally lost interest in sex or sex became rare. All three wanted to cuddle constantly. They didn’t want to break up. I left them. Since then I bring up libido and mention I’d like sex frequently. I’ve had better relationships since bringing up libido. Sexual compatibility is huge.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:29 AM
1

Women from sex positive backgrounds often have great desire for men’s bodies. One of the reasons I get up in the morning other than for tasty food, beautiful nature, and fulfilling friendships is SEX. With men. Well, these days with one man. But I still think about sex with men, plural. And not just sex but flirting with them and just getting to stare at them and how their muscles move and their legs look when they walk and their smiles and when they give you that look where you know they want y…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:11 PM
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What culture is this? Perhaps due to how the society is set up the women value different things there? I always preferred my age or younger (but only by a few years for LTR). BUT: I make far more than average income so the man’s income means nothing to me. In communities where women make more than men, men often value money much more in a partner. Haredi Jews have been studied for this reason since the women are usually the breadwinners while the men are encouraged to focus on studying religious…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 06:04 AM
1

The comment about sex was weird. Sounds like she doesn’t enjoy sex and thinks it’s something she gives men not something she enjoys. She doesn’t sound ready for any sexual relationship. Also the scenario is weird. Why would someone be flying to meet someone they barely know and have just been talking but aren’t clear about romance being an option? Why meet at all? Just keep talking. Why not meet halfway? Or whichever party wants it more should fly to where the other lives. The set up to this is …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:43 AM
15

To follow the rules: I’d say it’s advice that works if you’re just socializing with a lot of women and seeing who might be a fit before asking directly to go out on a date. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket with this strategy. That being said: The only men I’ve met who insisted on being friends first either weren’t that interested, or they were interested but felt they weren’t in a place to be in a relationship. Usually low self esteem or money issues were factors as well. I am not intereste…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:18 AM
7

Simple. It’s because most of us know when we first meet a man whether we find them physically attractive. Unless he drastically changes his looks, that won’t change.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:13 AM
3

Age gaps weren’t really “the norm.” It’s very culturally dependent and time period dependent. I read a fascinating book once about marriage in the time of Shakespeare. Shakespeare was married to an older woman. The book went into church records and found most marriages were not involving teenagers (that was rare back then despite modern narratives about age gap). The men and women were both in their mid 20s usually at time of marriage. Also like 1/3 of the women were pregnant at time of marriage…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:07 AM
1

Yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:45 AM
1

Maybe? I’ve answered a question like that before. I would if he has a penis and I found him physically attractive. I like PIV sex too much to give it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:28 AM
2

The only time I watch lesbian porn as a woman is because it’s easier to find cunnilingus in it. I would prefer it be a handsome man be performing oral but that’s harder to find. When I find it it’s what I watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:24 AM
3

I’m a woman really into gay porn and a lot of women I know like gay porn. I don’t think that means we are trans men. This seems like a stretch maybe?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:22 AM
2

Men are hot. More men is more hot. I don’t find women hot. Same reason I watch gay porn. Best I can explain it as a straight woman. It’s deep in my lizard brain and isn’t complex really.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:15 AM
2

So the Daniel and Jessica thing was fake. https://www.lawnews.co.uk/legal-news/daniel-reed-jessica-moore-lawsuit-what-really-happened-and-what-didnt/ https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/fact-check-video-does-not-074133417.html
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:33 AM
2

Women are expected to provide protection and evolved to protect. I’d be more afraid of a mama bear than a lone male bear. Women also must provide to children and the elderly, sick, and even men. Women are more likely than men to protect other women or children in public being harmed by a man. Research backs this up this isn’t just anecdotal. However , I can tell you when I was a child it was always older women who stood up for me when they saw a creep on the bus sit too close to me and start ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:58 AM
2

It’s interesting you swerve to fantasize about women drowning. Never mind all the male lifeguards who go to work every day and aren’t worried about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:56 AM
2

I never get this point unless you mean for violent crime that isn’t against children (which the media and public will crucify a woman for). Women are held accountable for sex and the consequences of it far more than men. There are far more dead beat dads than moms. Men are held more accountable for certain crimes because people fear men more than women. Women are held accountable for some of the most burdensome things in life, like kids. A woman who gives up custody is vilified far more than a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:44 AM
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I’m a 40 year old woman and I get approached by men all the time. I was on vacation last month and every single night while out men approached me. 2 asked me to go back to their hotel rooms with them. With one I was interested and did and we had a great time. Maybe this is because it’s men in their early to mid 30s who approach me usually but this isn’t the problem men online claim it is. Go out to bars or hotel lobbies or the beach and men are approaching us.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:53 AM
1

I’ve read estradiol is linked more to libido in women. Testosterone affects it but not to the same extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 09:11 PM
1

And estrogen is converted from testosterone in women too. What is your point? Both men and women convert these hormones. Do you think because women have much more of certain sex hormones than men women are more or less likely to stay in bed all day?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:07 AM
1

True. Small Hands and Girthmaster are who I think of and before that James Deen (before the credible accusations). Both have predominantly female followings. Don’t know any little men with predominately female followings.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 03:02 AM
7

I have never heard of him being referred to as a sex symbol. He’s never portrayed as a romantic lead as far as I know. Quite the opposite like in Three Billboards where McDormand’s character goes out with him because she basically feels sorry for him or feels she owes him for lying to the police for her. He senses this and ends the “date.” Meanwhile female porn stars who are little people are easy to google. Heck google first gave me a site listing the “20 hottest ones.” Edited to add ok and now…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 02:48 AM
14

Peter Dinklage is charming but the average woman doesn’t want to sleep with him. Let’s be real. Meanwhile men will totally sleep with women who are little people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 02:25 AM
15

I don’t think women are less competitive nor have I seen much evidence supporting this statement, they just often compete differently and against different people. Men compete against men. Women compete against women. Generally speaking of course. Why would aggression make for better politicians? Good leaders aren’t aggressive. They are high in emotional intelligence and empathy. They foster cooperative environments. The largest military in the world works because the men in it cooperate and are…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 02:20 AM
1

Or just don’t be with a cheater.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 01:17 AM
1

Estradiol is also what fuels a woman’s and man’s sex drive. Women have about 300-400 pg/ml. Men only have about 10-50 pg/ml.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 01:13 AM
9

“…a new study comparing DNA sequences of the two sex chromosomes—the X and the Y—overturns this “male-driven” notion of human evolution and shows that males and females contributed fairly equally to the process. The study, published in the August 10 issue of Nature, was led by David Page of the Whitehead Institute and the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. “This finding was totally unexpected and came as a big surprise to us. It flies in the face of the thinking that we've long held in human genet…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 12:47 AM
2

I have two stays at home dads in my social circle because while both partners are highly educated, the woman in both couples earns more. Perhaps this is more what will happen among the educated? Because when I was a kid none of my friends had stay at home dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 01:54 AM
6

College degrees will be more and more devalued by the public. If women are more likely to have something, it becomes less valuable. When I was a kid, a liberal arts degree was your white collar union card. People didn’t consider them “useless.” They were necessary to secure white collar jobs. Funny how that perspective has changed. Men still overall earn more than women afaik. But if/when that switches we will probably see more stay at home dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:45 PM
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Yeah I ain’t reading all that. Middle aged men look worse and are weaker. It is weird to deny biology and reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 06:16 PM
1

I think your standard is odd actually. If I were tall I wouldn’t care about if a guy was taller than me as long as he was also tall. I like how long legs look. I don’t care how his height compares to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 12:30 PM
2

They don’t sleep with attractive women and if they do, the women are drunk. Women aren’t like men. We don’t lower our standards as often for STR. Vibes are if he’s chill and the woman doesn’t think he’s weird or creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 06:35 AM
5

Looks are what allow men to be promiscuous without lowering his standards to the ground. “Power” doesn’t matter at all unless you mean the power to inspire lust. Looks and vibes get pussies wet. Being in management or in charge or extremely popular doesn’t matter if the man is unattractive. Charisma can help a lot for anyone trying to get laid, but power just doesn’t matter without sex appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 06:17 AM
1

You said “women want someone who can protect” Young men protect better but I agree I don’t care about protection either. I’ve been with middle aged and young. Middle aged men aren’t better or more mature even usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 04:52 AM
1

Old men cheat more than younger men! A study conducted by researchers at the “University of New Hampshire adds another layer to our understanding by pinpointing 55 years old as the age where men are most likely to cheat.” https://www.bellesandgals.com/science-pinpoints-the-exact-age-men-are-most-likely-to-cheat/
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:17 PM
2

Nah young men are better in bed usually because they can go all night. They also are just as good at oral. It doesn’t take decades of experience to be good at that. We tend to be good at what we love doing. Women want protection? Old guys can’t protect me as well as young guys (not that I care about protection, I’m well armed) We also want good sperm. That doesn’t come from unattractive or old men. Basic biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:37 PM
5

Ding ding ding
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:33 PM
–

Fuck doesn’t mean penetrate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:29 PM
1

“Consented to be just another ego lay.” - this suggests you think only the guy gets something out of this and something is taken from the woman. You don’t seem to think the woman consented because she just wanted some fun and also an ego boost possibly. This is why it seems like you view it as a commodity. But tell me I’m wrong. Or go on again about how Trump winning had nothing to do with xenophobia and racism and authoritarian tendencies but actually people voted for nazi like shit because som…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:59 AM
2

I’m gonna loosely quote a man’s answer: “they think only gullible drunken sluts would have casual sex because they are the only women who would look their way.” Seems he’s on the money. I always had casual sex with men who asked me out on real dates first and then after a few I realized we were incompatible and transitioned us to regularly causal sex buddies. I lead the way on all the decisions. If I wanted a relationship with a man I wouldn’t have a bunch of casual sex with him. That seems like…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:25 AM
1

What do you mean by this? Who is a misandrist and what are you doing that they “deserve?”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:04 AM
1

Not sure why you’re confused that you are giving the impression you view casual sex as an exchange where women somehow lose and the man wins. You want the woman to keep the “price” of sex high. I don’t mean you think of sex as a literal exchange of cash payment for sex. It bothers you that someone else got it but didn’t have to work for it. So… an exchange. Not a mutual experience for pleasure
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 02:58 AM
2

There’s almost no casual sex in big cities!! You’re very out of touch. The fact that you surround yourself with men who sexually abuse (illegally) their employees is fucked up if you’re telling the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:54 AM
2

So men are sexual abusers in these fields and need to be fired. Ok. So that’s not casual sex that’s workplace harassment. It’s weird you don’t know the difference but perhaps you’ve never had the opportunity to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:40 AM
2

I go to bars fairly often. People are engaged and flirty with each other. It’s cute. Wherever you go out at night sounds terrible. Dead fish eyes everywhere. Man you gotta get away from that vibe. It’s bad for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:38 AM
5

Eh I more give myself orgasms by how I move my pelvic floor muscles and position myself and move my whole body. The idea someone else gives you an orgasm is kinda odd to me. You achieve it with them but they don’t give it to you. And again, I didn’t want relationships and certainly didn’t want marriage from (thinking of specific examples) the hot but oddly religious DJ or the hot underemployed bartender who did coke on the weekends.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:36 AM
2

Interesting point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:33 AM
2

Insecurity for sure. It always comes down to that. The ethical concerns are legit, but you can just pay for ethical porn or watch solo porn that is amateur. When offered this solution, anti-porn people don’t tend to change their stance. For this reason, it’s safe to assume this is pretense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:44 AM
2

You’re saying women have to have sex they don’t want to have a good career and that accounts for most causal sex. My man…. You just don’t attract women who desire sex. What you’re describing is sexual abuse. It’s why the me too movement happened and so many men lost their jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:40 AM
2

Are a lot of red pill men simps? Because they’re the ones telling me I’m actually confused, and I really wanted to marry the hot DJ and the hot and slutty underemployed bartender who did coke LOL.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:38 AM
2

If you’re actually in real life personally having sex with women who try to get out of that sex by “using any minor excuse” to avoid it…. My man you’re involved in sexual coercion which is a form of SA. And you’re doing it even though you know they don’t want to and “look dead inside.” If so… Do yall not realize how much you’re telling on yourselves here? That women don’t sexually desire you and you’re abusers? How is this not a source of shame for you? You’re undesirable AND you sexually coerce…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:32 AM
1

You’ve conflated unrelated things. Using someone for sexual pleasure does not mean you don’t care about the other person or that your ONLY interaction with them is solely for sexual pleasure (though some people are into that and it’s what they want so that would be treating them well, in their case). I use my mechanic to fix my car. Does that mean I don’t care about them? This ties into the idea that objectification (using another as a tool for your purposes) isn’t the same as denying their subj…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:25 AM
1

How do you think men lose their virginity?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:02 AM
2

Yeah sure. I had a lot of fun and the men all treated me very well. It’s so wild to me how much people dehumanize each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:02 AM
3

Oh older women can get younger men without money, my point is many men do want sugar mamas. What’s rarer is women being ok with the agreement, though many actually are, just less often than men. I’ve seen fat chicks pull “chads.” It seems you have selective focus or only see what you want to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:01 AM
2

That women are being used when they have sex they want to have with men they don’t want to commit to?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:58 PM
3

Uh…. Fit women typically want fit men. This is a cope on your part. Next you’ll tell me women don’t care about height. Fat women get in relationships all the time. If anything it hurts men more because women are pickier about looks. Men are more likely to settle. How can they compensate for women not being attracted to them? By spending money on them? Baby, you really think men don’t try to get sugar mamas too? It’s not uncommon at all. Neither are hobosexuals. It’s not nitpicking, you are using…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:06 PM
1

It’s get fucked by them….Ah you see women as passive and perhaps don’t attract women who desire to fuck you back. Is that correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:48 PM
2

Women are more tied to their bodies. Source? Men get wrinkles earlier than women and their metabolism slows down to (though for both men and women the slowed metabolism thing is a bit overstated and is used as an excuse to get fat that doesn’t totally hold up) What’s your point? “Using 3D analysis, researchers found that men in their 30s to 50s form and develop a larger volume of wrinkles—specifically around the eyes—when compared to women. The analysis also showed that the wrinkles were deeper …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:43 PM
3

Used up how? You keep using the phrase but not explaining what it means exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:54 PM
3

How am I used up? Be specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:49 PM
2

There’s nothing impolite or uncivil abut casual sex. Being a player implies manipulation. Thats different. Cheaters also aren’t included in my statement here. Urban areas actually have MORE rules and laws with consequences. We have to. In Mayberry if Joe Bob wants to burn tires outside and use an unlicensed plumber and build weird additions to his house that bring property values down, generally rural areas allow that. Urban area have to create more rules and enforce those rules or else it becom…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:46 PM
2

It depends on the approach and if he backs off gracefully when she doesn’t show interest. Any woman who is “uncomfortable” a man politely offers to by her a drink and backs off when she declines has something weird going on psychologically.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:07 PM
1

Insecurity about his masculinity. Low self esteem is a deal breaker at this point too because those people are often energy vampires in relationships. They need constant reassurance and it’s exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:05 PM
8

I mean that is what people tell women. Especially men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:03 PM
5

I’ve never had a long term boyfriend ask about my sexual past even once including my current partner of 7 years. So this is always odd to me. How does anyone know even if they do care? Asking isn’t normal in urban progressive environments. Yall live in Mayberry or something? But I date men with options who have a lot going for them so they aren’t insecure and aren’t conservative so. I guess if I wanted to date conservative men who think of sex as something that makes women have “less worth” this…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:01 PM
2

Must suck to have sex with someone who enjoys it so little they look dead inside and use “excuses” to avoid the sex. Sounds awful
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:56 PM
3

So you only appreciate and value an eye doctor if they’re like, the only one in town. You must not wear contacts. So what do men provide me other than sex that I can’t get elsewhere?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:22 PM
3

So it’s only valuable if other people couldn’t provide it? A doctor isn’t valuable if there are other doctors who can do the same thing? What value do men provide that I can’t get elsewhere other than sex? It’s unique to the man but there’s nothing other than sex ONLY a man can provide other than romantic love, which is tied to sex. The whole package can be nice though. Have you not experienced the whole package?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:13 PM
1

Oh in that case you’re friends with women who don’t like causal sex. So why are they having it? And why are they entertaining people who don’t care about them even a little like a decent human being does for any other person and sees them as walking vaginas? That sounds like a form of self-harm that requires therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:10 PM
5

Frankly, sounds like cope from a man who is friends with the caliber of men who have to lie to get sex because they aren’t attractive. Maybe you are attractive, but the men you apparently know who can’t inspire sexual desire in women without pretending to be a totally different person just aren’t good enough to attract women who aren’t gullible drunk sluts (I say this with love you gullible drunk sluts, but sober up and figure out what you want).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:05 PM
3

Why are multiple orgasms from oral sex a loss for me? And why is sex the only value I provide?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:54 PM
16

If you hang out at bars like I used to, you’d know unemployed toads get laid. Lower your standards enough and someone will fuck you eventually at last call. If you stay home and don’t try to fuck women, you won’t fuck women. Also, I hang out with hot guys and they’re drowning in pussy. No one denies women are pickier. But a group of men do have an easy time getting laid. They’re good looking. That’s how this works . Everyone knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:44 PM
1

From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg School of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern. But in reality men and women were equally inspired by physical attraction an…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:37 PM
1

So not gonna respond to all the studies showing women aren’t honest on surveys about what they find attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:36 PM
1

You are friends with shitty people. That’s also sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:35 PM
1

It doesn’t start at 35. “The motility of the sperm is the sperm’s ability to travel through the uterus and to the fallopian tube in order to fertilize the egg. The motility of a man is best at the age of 25 and then begins to dip. It is at its lowest at the age of 55 when the motility can drop by 50%. The age where a man is most fertile is between the ages of 22 and 25 years. It is suggested that you attempt to have children before the age of 35. After this age, men’s fertility begins to worsen …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:33 PM
2

Awww. Depends how hot and smart and funny he is. And what his opinions are.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:30 PM
1

That isn’t controlling attitudes about sex. Old cultures where cheating women were stoned to death and men were fined weren’t run by women. It doesn’t matter who is pickier. That’s not really related.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:29 PM
1

From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg School of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern. But in reality men and women were equally inspired by physical attraction an…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:27 PM
1

Oh that’s really sad you think this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:26 PM
2

No one owned jack shit. We didn’t even have agriculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:25 PM
1

So men admit they want STR with young women but LTR with women close to their age. And women don’t admit younger men are hotter OR they’re saving face. This is like those surveys where women SAY they don’t care about looks and the study goes further to examine revealed vs stated preferences and surprise surprise. Women care about looks the most. They sure like to say they don’t. All behavioral studies show the same thing as well. Self reporting gives you a picture of what people say they want, n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:20 PM
1

It shows 48 year olds want 40 year old men. Look at the chart.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:16 PM
1

Resources? What resources? There was no property or stored wealth for almost all of human history.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:13 PM
2

So… you sleep with dumb women who think casual sex is a way to trick you into what they really want from you which isn’t really hot sex? I shouldn’t call them dumb but that is pretty dumb. I didn’t say it doesn’t happen. I said it sounds like a decision a dumb person would make. Edited to add: dumb desperate women
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:11 PM
1

Male doctors marry other people from the upper middle class, not Wendy’s drive through workers. Men rarely want to marry beneath their social class. It’s a blow to their status. There’s actually a doctor on here who has talked about how his options didn’t really increase. He became more attractive for marriage but by women who were already in his league. I work with doctors. They marry people with degrees from similar backgrounds almost always.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:10 PM
2

How am I misrepresenting your argument (straw man)? You did not you just said it’s bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:08 PM
1

Male peak fertility is not at 35-40. Most sperm banks won’t take 40 year old sperm. It’s already in significant decline by 35. What are you talking about? Sperm banks encourage women to choose donors under 25 if they’re over 35 because sperm from men under 25 is 3-4 times more likely to result in conception for this age group.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:06 PM
1

8 years younger is a similar age? It says (though doesn’t explain how) that 48 year old women want 40 year old men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:02 PM
1

This isn’t a study. It’s a chart that okcupid released. We have no information on how they determined this. Alternate explanation: women interpret the question differently. They hear “who do you want a relationship with” not “who looks best.” Everyone looks best in their 20s, including men. Anyone telling you otherwise is likely either lying or is so much older that their children are that age and it feels weird to like them that young. Though IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THIS it also claims men “hit …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:59 PM
1

Earned “whatever?” Not the most virility or best sperm. Wealth couldn’t be acquired as there wasn’t wealth in our sense. For physical prowess young adult men would be at the top of the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:52 PM
1

He said it feels emasculating. Men with options care. Doctors don’t marry the hot girl at Wendy’s drive through.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:49 PM
3

Preach
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:43 PM
4

Save sex for a fair trade? I’m supposed to trade sex? Isn’t that sex work?And sex toys don’t replicate oral sex.I wish they did. Do yall who talk about reputations live in Mayberry or something ? I only have lived as an adult in cities with over a million people, usually a few million. There are no reputations. I don’t sleep with coworkers; that’s messy. I’m aware some men are very anti-sex and insecure. I just don’t really hang out with those men so it’s not my problem. I run in very progressiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:42 PM
3

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but she (and you) probably do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:33 PM
1

Good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:29 PM
5

Ah. That’s never happened to me. I don’t have casual sex with men I want to be in a relationship with. Not to be a bitch, but that sounds kinda dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:29 PM
1

You haven’t answered the question. It’s a yes or no question no. I’m guessing no, taking away all risk still wouldn’t be enough for you because it’s “short term satisfaction.” You haven’t explained why that is bad though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:53 PM
5

Man that sucks. I always kinda suspected one reason I always (ALWAYS) orgasm is because I’m also fucking the man. So I’m doing what I like. Whenever women are like “the sex was always terrible” I’m like first of all bitch why did you stay? It wouldn’t occur to me to stay. And also, weren’t you there the whole time? Why didn’t you make it good?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:49 PM
1

I’m aware of these women and unless they were mislead, they’re being ridiculous. Don’t have sex you don’t want to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:45 PM
2

How are people “used up” by sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:43 PM
5

…. Yall really don’t have sex with women who take an active role, huh? I love being on top and I like when men stand still and I control the movement doggy style. Even in missionary I’m “fucking back” and milking the man. Other women must be having really passive sex. No wonder yall complain about not orgasming with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:40 PM
6

I realize many men need a lot of emotional and psychological needs met to enjoy sex. You want to feel like you won something other people couldn’t get and knowing she’s enjoyed other men makes you anxious and pessimistic about her contentment jn the relationship. It totally makes sense in a way, but that has nothing to do with calling casual sex somehow “being used.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:20 PM
2

Oh I always orgasm usually a few times. I’ve often thought that’s one reason casual sex appeals to me. I always really enjoy it. Thanks for your answer I agree with your point and you articulated it better than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:10 PM
2

Yeah Fox was deplatformed. It’s only the most watched “news” station. Erin Prizzy was a sad woman who was homeless and essentially voted out it seems? She seemed to have done a lot of good in many ways. Bringing light to male abuse victims is important. Again, you’re not giving me much. How has feminists destroyed men’s well being? Feminists didn’t start the idea that men are more violent and stronger. It’s rather absurd to suggest as such. In a patriarchal society the idea of a little lady beat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:47 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:35 PM
1

What is your evidence for this? I studied it in college 20 years ago. It’s not new it’s just popularized by laypeople on the internet recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:59 PM
11

I’ve noticed this. Their fantasy is that we are treated like “fuckholes” as one guy said. The men I had casual sex with basically treated me like their girlfriend when I was around. It was all the easy and fun parts of the relationship but none of the obligation or work (that is rewarding with the right person, but it’s still work). A few men have talked about “Chad” calling her up at 2am as a last resort and leading her on with promises of a relationship in the future. Bootycalls are a thing, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:47 PM
-1

I’m saying be honest with yourself and only date women you like and find attractive. If you really find all women attractive then you should have a really easy time getting dates since your pool is everybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:32 PM
3

Answer the question. If I knew for a fact every partner was clean due to pre sex testing and they had a vasectomy and I’m on the pill: do you think it’s a bad idea? If you truly are just worried about pregnancy and STIs, then this should be acceptable. My point is you clearly don’t just care about that, and you don’t care about short term satisfaction being a problem since you (apparently, but maybe not) have no problem with people drinking a glass of literal poison for a short lived buzz. Your …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:30 PM
1

Those men are hurting themselves by swiping on every single woman. Have some dignity. You can’t possibly find them all attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:03 PM
1

No. Don’t get the hair cut. Long hair is hot. I’m sorry you’re not having success. Pretty privilege is real and it’s very real with men. The apps are a meat market. Get off them and make more friends and join clubs or a church (or whatever fits your beliefs).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:01 PM
1

So short term satisfaction is wrong (no reason given). So drinking a glass of wine or eating chocolate is bad for society? Right? Also disease. So “monogamous” couples should use condoms because the STI transmission rate in marriage I not at all low. I’m a nurse and I see it all the time. If disease is your real concern you’ll agree with me here. Don’t prioritize short term satisfaction. I shouldn’t be a nurse because I’m one needle stick away from HIV (id take PrEP but the point remains). It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:57 PM
1

The link says nothing about feminists doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:45 PM
1

Link?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:07 PM
1

Yeah I know I made specifically two men feel kinda bad. One actually said I used him for sex. I don’t feel great about it but I can say I never lied to them or tried to mislead them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:05 PM
3

I’ve never once felt used. At 400 an hour (that’s 400 20 years ago!) I felt I was robbing them! I’m not ashamed at all. I wasn’t doing it to survive. I had a job and a roommate with a job. We were fine financially. I just thought it would be fun and it was. But it was fun BECAUSE I didn’t do it to survive so I was very picky about my clients. Many don’t have that privilege. My attitude has been the same since childhood. Ideally I ultimately wanted a relationship but I wanted to experience lots o…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:59 AM
7

Only if she isn’t attracted to him. I love when men I find attractive are flustered by my mere presence and want to impress me. Nothing hotter. I could see women with low self-esteem or women who haven’t healed attachment wounds not liking that. Those women feel like they have to earn love and giving affection to them freely seems suspicious to them. It’s also less exciting. They want to have to impress the man. You’re correct that she wants to cast him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:52 AM
2

Just an anecdote: I was a sex worker for a brief time like 20 years ago. I have no problem with sex work. I charged twice as much as the industry standard at the time meaning 20 years ago I was making 400 an hour. Most of the men with that kinda cash were middle aged and not in the best shape. Sometimes the younger guys would be cute but they didn’t see me every week like the middle aged men. But my experience isn’t everyone’s experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:29 AM
3

Huh. I never slept with a boss but a few overtly tried to sleep with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:18 AM
6

Then she doesn’t enjoy casual sex. Are there a lot of women who only have (legal) jobs and friends and “a life” because they have casual sex they don’t want to be having? That’s fucking bleak. And I never had problems getting boyfriends. I usually would have a boyfriend for almost a year then break up with him, be slutty for like six months and then decide I wanted another boyfriend. Did this maybe four times? Then I settled down when I found the right guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:16 AM
7

You keep spitting facts. I have to come back here to realize how much I don’t really know men. I only hang out and when I was a slut would only sleep with progressives (full blown commies and anarchists) and I just never felt used. They all LIKED me and didn’t hate women or think sex was something men take form Women. I’m so, so glad because some other men are pretty fucking scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:12 AM
3

For real though. Men who don’t feel contempt toward women are a huge turn on. Seriously. Biggest green flag ever. Instantly makes a man more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:06 AM
1

Thanks for sharing your experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:59 AM
2

Tell me if I have this right: sex to you is about feeling special. You can’t feel special if a woman had casual sex with a man. You think it’s bad to want people for their body and that breaks your heart (not sure why). You also are upset the other guy didn’t have to put in “effort” (your word). Should I assume you resent that you feel you had to put in effort? Kinda sounds like you view sex as a commodity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:57 AM
3

I’m gonna guess women like me who have casual sex -not for self harm reasons or to deal with past sexual abuse or for validation- but for pleasure, get pleasure from it. Is that a stretch you think? I always orgasm usually a few times and at least once before penetration. I don’t really know why women who don’t orgasm have much sex at all. It would be nice but usually frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:52 AM
2

I think people like you have no self-respect. I doubt that offended you right? But if I meant that, it would be said as an insult. I do hope your friends get help. Using sex as a way to self harm is really fucked up. And they were SA’d. that’s awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:49 AM
2

Thanks for your comment. You saying anyone who has casual sex has no self-respect is meant to offend (though I wasn’t offended) and it’s weird you’re pretending it isn’t. I get your friends don’t have self-respect and I hope they get the help they need.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:47 AM
3

“I don’t like their tone so fuck due process I don’t need rights!” You didn’t answer why you assumed that casual sex is automatically about a man dehumanizing a woman. Guess you don’t want to be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:45 AM
5

Good for that and nothing else. Jesus. That’s a serious self-esteem problem. I feel bad for them. Sounds like they wanted a relationship not casual sex. So… why did they have casual sex then? No wonder you think I have no self respect. Clearly your female friends don’t have any. Oh there’s a lot of benefit. Sex is one of the most pleasurable things on earth. I wasn’t raped, but I understand that is something that some rape victims have happen. It’s just not the case with me. Never was molested e…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:33 AM
3

Young hot guys who I desired weren’t my clients. I charged a lot. Usually it was middle aged married men from the suburbs. Doubt it all you want. It’s not exactly hard to become a hooker. It was a fun summer. I made a ton of money but eventually the customer service aspect of it wore me out. The men were kinda needy and I hated keeping a straight face listening to them talk about how their wives didn’t respect them. Like I wonder why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:28 AM
2

Oh it’s all those other men who feel that way and you can read their minds. But not you. Got it. Obviously some men think like this. What’s weird is assuming all casual sex involves people dehumanizing each other. That’s actually really weird. And you said you assumed that. Why do you assume that? That’s a pretty specific thing to just HAPPEN to assume. Lol about Trump. Yes sluts are why so many Americas want to send immigrants to prisons in other countries with no due process.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:22 AM
2

“Giving it out.” Do men “give it out?” I wish more of the really hot ones did honestly. So are men of low value if they sleep around?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:14 AM
2

Did you keep seeing her since we all know men supposedly just want unlimited access to sex outside of commitment?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:11 AM
3

You hit the nail on the head.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:05 AM
4

Where is your proof it was controlled by women? Many men seem rather obsessed with controlling women’s sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:02 AM
8

Except most men want commitment from the right women. It’s so weird men pretend this isn’t true. Like I get it’s true of you apparently? But men are super into monogamy and commitment. That’s one reason so many men on here are obsessed with “body count.” As an aside, most men wouldn’t have access to unlimited sex. Women are more selective about looks than men when it comes to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 10:01 AM
24

I think they don’t believe I didn’t want commitment. Which is weird considering all the man answering saying they’ve had experiences where women only wanted sex from them but they actually wanted more from the women. It’s so odd to me they want to pretend this scenario doesn’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:57 AM
6

Saw them as just a body to release in. Jesus that’s bleak. Men really don’t like each other. Or that’s how YOU see women. Which… Jesus. All my casual sex situations involved hanging out a lot. Most would call me just to talk about their life or work. I wasn’t a “body to release in.” I just didn’t want to commit to them. Someone else called women “fuckholes” in this thread. Yall really kinda hate women, huh? But thanks for the insight. Some of yall are really fucked up, huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:52 AM
6

Ok I’ll let my partner know after 7 years I decided “I’m not ready for a relationship. Sorry it took me the better part of a decade to figure that out.“
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:44 AM
8

What does? Finding out I’m pregnant or have a disease from over 7 years ago? What needs more time lol. I’m not pregnant and condoms work well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:30 AM
9

I’m in a long term relationship and have been for about 7 years now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:26 AM
6

Not sure this user meant this clinically or psychologically but: If it did affect your brain it likely wouldn’t be genital herpes. It would be the cold sore virus (herpes simplex virus 1). Statistically this user likely has the cold sore virus (which oddly I do not even though big ole slut) so I imagine he doesn’t mean that one. But there is herpes encephalitis and the cold sore virus is almost always the cause. Blindness can also result from cold sores. So don’t kiss your kids I guess? That’s h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:23 AM
15

I would notice if I was pregnant. Condoms are extremely effective. I’m more likely to catch a disease at work than in bed. I’m a nurse. Should I not be a nurse? Should we not exist because diseases? That’s why gloves and masks and condoms exist. Remember to get your HPV vaccine everyone. I’ve been a huge slut and I’ve never tested positive for anything. I was very strict about condoms. I don’t even have HSV1 the cold sore virus and like 90 percent of people get that. God just likes me, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:16 AM
3

They wanted to hang out with me so I guess paying a sex worker to spend 10 hours with them would be too pricey. I’d charge hourly obviously if I wanted to charge them, but they were hot and focused on pleasing me so why would I do that? Btw I’ve been a sex worker who was paid a couple hundred an hour above industry standard at the time. The vast majority of men tried to hang out and would try to call me and just talk about their lives (I charged hourly for this as well). Men who visit sex worker…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:09 AM
5

We have separate bedrooms (I insisted) and we fuck like bunnies and snuggle in each other’s bed all the time. On days I work we sleep in separate rooms. Usually our days off we sleep together. Separate bathrooms is also mandatory for me. Do you really fall asleep while holding each other? Don’t your arms go numb? That sounds awful to me honestly. And waking whenever they get up to pee. I’d have terrible sleep. I don’t mind in days I don’t work but I need rest for work.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:01 AM
5

I love this. I have a few friends who do this and their relationships are really strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:57 AM
4

That’s what we have because it’s the only way I’ll live with a man. Sleep is idiosyncratic. I also work night shift and need blackout curtains and he likes the sun. Separate bedrooms and bathrooms and we really never fight. It’s the golden ticket, I tell ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:56 AM
3

Your wife is a lucky woman!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:55 AM
4

Ah they assume I don’t orgasm every time. Fair point. It’s very strange to me that so many women don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:46 AM
2

Was the context you were on a date? I’m curious. You said “too interested.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:45 AM
3

Omg. I think this is it. Holy shit. Why didn’t I realize that. And they also don’t understand casual sex doesn’t have to be drunken last resort sex. Mine was always planned and it was lovely. Shit is this why I think most men are so respectful and I don’t know what people are talking about when they say men use them and don’t want to spend lots of time with them ? Because I was never used? It was always an enduring sexual relationship between two sober people who planned and chose each other? I …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:41 AM
2

How were you too interested too quick?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:36 AM
3

Agreed :)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:35 AM
8

I’m so sorry that happened. We all should be more explicit. It sounds like they were being purposefully vague because they wanted access to you. That sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:24 AM
6

Purity culture is not at all gone. Have you not noticed all the talk of body count? And 304s? This is like saying racism is gone. It just took on different forms and is occasionally more covert. In Evangelical culture it’s overt. Women don’t hate male attention. Women LOVE male attention. Plenty of women seem to live for male attention and validation. They don’t like harassment at work or on the street. They also don’t like it from men they find extremely unattractive. Don’t believe this bullshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:14 AM
1

No. I’m saying all of yall want to hang out after sex. The whole “men pay sex workers to leave” thing is equally weird to me. I was a call girl like twenty years ago and men would try desperately to just hang out non-sexually or call and talk on the phone. No baby it’s an hourly service.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:00 AM
3

You put it perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:53 AM
2

The user called sex a bargaining chip. Does that sound satisfying to you? Does it sound meaningful? Oh you don’t need experience to be a good lay. Not at all. Learning the other unique person is important. But you need to not view sex as a bargaining chip. Re: HIV: id take PrEP if I ever had a broken condom. Pregnancy can be handled as well. Oh society is falling apart because of casual sex. Sure. That’s the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:52 AM
2

They have contempt for fuckholes, I mean women. That is misogyny. I’m not going to argue semantics. Misogyny doesn’t just mean hate. It could even mean mistrust of women. You’re saying men “have to” do this. They don’t. They are choosing to. They could hire sex workers. If they’re attractive they could hit up women who just wanna fuck. Or they could go home and jerk off.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:47 AM
3

I see what you’re saying but this isn’t how they are using the phrase. I’m sure they think I am used up, but that isn’t what they are communicating. “You were used” also doesn’t seem to mean anything monetary unless the people who say this are being needlessly vague. They may think women who like causal sex are tricked into it, but that’s rather stupid. But you know what? They may just be stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:41 AM
12

Yeah I think yours is the correct answer. They refuse to believe there are people who genuinely like causal sex. What’s really weird to me is when people say “oh you have sex without feelings.” I have feelings. I always liked the men and wanted them to be happy and thrive and get everything they wanted out of life. I just didn’t want to commit to just them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:37 AM
2

In my experience it’s all of you. I never understood why men and women pretend otherwise. Maybe other women are bad at picking up when men hate them or something? I only ever slept with men who liked me and I liked them. We genuinely had fun hanging out and talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:35 AM
5

If you think you have to lie and manipulate to get someone to want to be physical with you then you don’t like yourself. If you even just want to do that and don’t need to, what does that tell us? You don’t want to be yourself. You’re blatantly excusing manipulation and lying. It’s weird. Why are you doing that? What’s really weird is you seem to be so far removed from seeing this as a problem. You’re describing sociopathic behavior not just selfishness. You think men who debase themselves by ly…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:32 AM
7

Yeah many people aren’t loved for who they are and it is sad. I’m sorry you’re presumably with a woman who doesn’t love you for who you are just what you provide for her. I myself have loved men for who they are, but I don’t have a ton of patriarchal brainwashing that tells us men are unworthy of love and have no inherent value. You do have inherent value and you are worthy of love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:25 AM
6

Nah they were too attractive to be interested in frequenting sex workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:21 AM
3

Yeah those fat women with their huge egos amirite?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:20 AM
0

I never said it was a paradise. It would have sucked hard. As far as we know there has never been a human matriarchy. Usually when people point to a culture as matriarchal they mean matrilineal. Not remotely the same. So you’re saying men have always beat women and viewed them as property to be traded. Sure. Maybe. I guess men are monsters.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:01 AM
11

They really see women as property and all relationships as transactional don’t they? I agree. People who love you love who you are not what you provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:54 AM
5

Thank you for your perspective. Re:misogyny Men who have sex with women they don’t respect (as you said) and see as “fuckholes” hate women and probably honestly hate themselves. People who like themselves don’t lie and lead on other people to trick them into sex (which you have said the men you know did). I can’t imagine pretending to like someone so I can get sex from them. That would be so demeaning for ME not to mention them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:47 AM
5

Sure I can appreciate that. I’ve always thought it was kinda obvious there are different types of relationships and different types of sex. There are even different types of masturbating. There’s “this is an event” and there is “this is an itch that needs to be scratched.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:40 AM
6

Oh the bargaining chip comment. Well yeah if you think that’s what sex is you’re obviously a ton of fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:39 AM
10

Correcting you isn’t getting bent out of shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:31 AM
7

Every casual sex buddy I’ve had has basically been a standing arrangement. Every Friday night was a common one since we’d both have the night off. It wasn’t a “text drunk at 2 am as a last resort” situation. You think men I’ve slept with for months saw me only as a fuckhole. Well that tells us a lot about you. But I absolutely believe your friends are just like you. I’m aware men who hate women exist. Edited to add: a common theme for me when I was single and had casual sex was how upset it made…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:26 AM
7

Amazing sex isn’t exactly baggage but you’re kinda telling on yourself with this “unrealistic standards” statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:23 AM
2

Perhaps a covert fundamentalist. Surely religion had some kind of effect on their thinking even if they no longer think of themselves as religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:18 AM
6

Sure that’s being used. That isn’t the case here though, and yet I’m still said to have been “used.” Perhaps people who say this think I was somehow manipulated into wanting orgasms with men I didn’t want to commit to. That’s so wild to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:13 AM
14

Sex is a bargaining chip. Jesus you must be a fun lay. I haven’t lost value to anyone who matters. I’m quite happy to lose value in the eyes of sexist men and men who moralize about sex. Also, I’m in a several year long committed relationship with a man. Edited to add: but thanks for the insight. Doesn’t explain how I was used though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:09 AM
2

Trust me I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:07 AM
12

A few answers here are from men who don’t want casual sex and say they turned it down. But I take your point. I’d add that purity culture which is lead by men and churches that very much are lead by men is also responsible for this. Women in those religions are taught men are the gas and they are the breaks. Women are responsible for their sexuality AND men’s by this logic. So a man isn’t to blame if he has sex before marriage obviously. Blame the woman. Yeah it’s men who perpetuate a lot of thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:06 AM
7

I find women who are NOT promiscuous do care about a man’s past actually. But I understand what you’re saying. I think there are many more promiscuous men who care about a woman’s past than promiscuous women who care about a man’s past. Those men usually have kinda fucked ideas about men and women though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 06:02 AM
3

You sound very sweet. Sounds like those girls didn’t deserve you and all you had to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:59 AM
25

Thank you for your answer. But it is a bit odd to me that people think just because two people don’t want commitment that they don’t care about each other. I usually cared about the man, I just didn’t want to commit to him. That’s interesting it makes your skin crawl. We have very different thoughts surrounding sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:58 AM
5

So you think it’s because they don’t understand that it was a feel-good transaction? Am I getting that right? I mean… it is a tool I used to get my rocks off in a way. But it’s a mutual thing. Being used implies being taken advantage of and likely manipulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:54 AM
7

Oh yeah women say it but I understand why they do. As I said, that is only said by women who don’t like causal sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:52 AM
10

A man. I’ve seen it written about here by plenty of people though. Men and women, but I know what women are thinking when they say that. Those are women who don’t like casual sex. So they would feel used because they would be trying to use sex to get commitment, which is dumb as fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:51 AM
3

So you were a little hurt they wanted commitment from other men? If it makes you feel better women who as a pattern like noncommittal men usually just have commitment issues themselves. They may have just liked that the guy was unattainable. That was the appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:50 AM
5

I understand but they aren’t calling me a whore. The word “used” is specific. “You don’t realize you’re being used.” So they aren’t saying it like I’m used goods (though they probably think that). They’re saying a man used me. But how? I can’t understand how a man is using me by going down on me. Like what exactly is the problem and why am I supposed to be upset by this usage?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:47 AM
15

These are my thoughts about it as well. Why do you think other men think women are being used when they aren’t coerced or being strung along?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:36 AM
1

Yes. I know what it’s like to feel you don’t deserve it. I was taught I had to earn love because my mother openly stated her love was conditional (when she could get a word in between beatings). This is a belief and beliefs are just thoughts you have so many times your brain decides it is the truth. You can change your beliefs. Love existed before money existed, you fool. Women don’t love men for money. They use men for money sometimes but money doesn’t make a man lovable. It only makes a lifest…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:33 AM
1

You didn’t answer how I was being used. He certainly felt used but I don’t even really understand why he thought that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:28 AM
1

How was I used? The guy who was upset and said I used him for sex was super hot and gave amazing oral sex. If that’s being used, use me all night.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:19 AM
1

And that “destroys men’s wellbeing?” As I said: Then y’all are weak as fuck and shouldn’t be allowed in leadership positions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:16 AM
0

How would the wage gap sometimes being presented in misleading ways “destroy men’s well being?” Y’all are weak as fuck if that’s true and you wouldn’t survive a day as a female nurse at a hospital. The wage gap is real. It only narrows when you account for factors beyond gender, but it endures. Even physicians working the same hours in the same specialties in the same cities see a gender wage gap. People will say it’s because women don’t negotiate firmly and directly and that is part of it. Well…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:11 AM
1

Agriculture. Marriage. Property. Inheritance. Motherhood. Fights for land and other resources. Religion. “THE STATE.” Once the concept of property was introduced to hunter gatherers (what we humans were for almost all of history) suddenly class became more of an issue. Men wanted their property to be left to their sons and sometimes daughters. But how does he know they are his? Well you gotta control women since we aren’t naturally life long monogamous creatures. Then you have tribalism. Warring…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:57 AM
2

No. More from bell hooks: “To indoctrinate boys into the rules of patriarchy, we force them to feel pain and to deny their feelings.” “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term “masculinity”) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-be…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:49 AM
1

I understand this is a thing, but I don’t date or even just have flings with men who think me being educated or making good money is somehow “emasculating.” Any man who thinks that likely holds more sexist and conservative beliefs and is probably trash in bed. I used to date libertarians when I was young and dumb and didn’t realize they were just conservatives who want weed and sex work legalized. Invariably trash in bed. it was always all about them, which makes sense considering their politics…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:44 AM
1

My friends with benefits never called me at 1 am. We usually had standing plans, like every Friday we’d stay at each other’s place. I’ve had a similar experience as this woman where I’d say about half wanted to make what we had something more and openly talked about it. I didn’t say anything like “if I thought you were worth dating I’d be dating you” but I’ve definitely accidentally offended some men. I remember one was really upset I didn’t want him to take me to dinner each week before I came …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:52 AM
4

How is feminism destroying men’s well being?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:32 AM
7

Yes. Women aren’t naturally life long monogamists. We were just property. That’s why it seemed that way in many cultures. This also speaks to the issue of population decline. A lot of people like to bullshit about how it’s the economy and lack of paid leave etc. etc. Yet in countries with these robust social safety nets, the population is still in decline. The truth is: a great deal of women just don’t want kids. If they really had this instinctual drive to reproduce, they’d find a way. I never …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:42 AM
1

I don’t think humans were built for life long monogamy. We seem to be serial monogamists at heart (and at best). Many of us engage in covert affairs. That seems to be the norm. There’s no point in being upset about this. I genuinely don’t understand why this bothers people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:37 AM
9

It’s not the case with most serious feminist writers and academics. bell hooks makes very clear in her writing how patriarchy doesn’t care about men’s emotional well-being. Pop feminism is going to be watered down and get into black and white thinking much of the time. I recognize most men aren’t reading bell hooks, Martha Nussbaum Audre Lorde, Patricia Hill Collins, much less Judith Butler. You’re only experiencing women who use the word feminism in a thousand different ways, sometimes without …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:36 AM
1

Borderline personality disorder is not at all the same thing as avoidant or anxious attachment or emotional unavailability. People with BPD can have different attachment styles and if you’ve ever dealt with someone with BPD you wouldn’t read what I just wrote and think that sounds like BPD. Just like, use google.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:06 AM
3

They didn’t want OTHER men to take their women/property and mutilate and kill and rape them. So men want to keep their property theirs. No… I’m not very persuaded by this. Hope that helps! I don’t dislike men. I think most men are great. But this idea that men are so into protecting women… nah. I also don’t believe women want what is best for kids if it means they’re inconvenienced generally speaking if that helps you get over this hump. Humans are selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:09 PM
5

Emotionally unavailable people don’t suddenly become available through/after sex. It’s a much deeper thought pattern than that. It’s not broken by getting naked and orgasming with someone. That doesn’t even touch the issue, frankly. I think you might be operating under a totally different definition of what emotional unavailability means. Many women are emotionally unavailable. I’m tired but one personal anecdote: emotionally unavailable coworker. She has an affair with a married man. He leaves …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:40 PM
3

I’m disorganized as well and tend to attract anxious men, but when super stressed I can become anxious. Thanks, physically abusive caregivers who locked me in closets and threw me in the trunk of cars! I guess my point was, insecurely attached people are, yes, insecure, but all types are generally emotionally unavailable. I think we focus as a society on the avoidants being unavailable, but the anxious aren’t being true to themselves or honest with their partners. They tend to not communicate ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:18 PM
2

Being well socially integrated and having status are unrelated to age past say, childhood. A young warrior who is brave is going to have extremely high status. Same with the fastest and strongest man. That’s not going to be a middle aged man. Especially without modern medicine. Those knees would be shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:14 PM
1

I see. You’ve explained it well. I definitely relate. And it sounds a bit crude to say I do it for “access to sex” but that is a large part of why I go to my partner’s family Easter and Thanksgiving etc. I travel less when I’m in a relationship because of the friction and I always see my friends less. It’s a sacrifice but when it’s worth it it’s worth it. Of course men do things to have sex. I’m pointing out women do as well by putting up with inlaws and not seeing their friends as much as they …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:57 PM
1

??? I mean… women like freedom too. I don’t consider it payment to men. More like men tend to value emotional connection and closeness slightly more than me. Without psychological and emotional needs being met most men don’t desire sex that much. They get pouty when you’re not around enough and become passive aggressive. So I go to their mother’s for dinner as expected but it’s not… payment. I see what you’re saying though. But… women have to do the same thing. How many women like their mother i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:37 AM
2

Most are within 2 years
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:41 AM
2

I added a 4th and 5th point that I think are pertinent
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:41 AM
3

You’re trying to say it’s men’s instinct to care for women. The dead beat dad trying to get out of child support and male family annihilator rates suggest otherwise. People usually have to be socialized to act in ways we would consider decent. Our instinct is to care for the people we care about (and plenty of moms and dads don’t give a fuck about their kids and if you don’t realize that you and your friends must have had great childhoods). Another instinct is to hurt the ones who get in our way…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:29 AM
4

Humans (and men in particular though certainly women too) have a tendency to kill. Look at the world right now! Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, Myanmar. If it were unnatural for humans to kill we wouldn’t literally always be at war.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:25 AM
13

In modern society, older men may be seen as more "stable" because of money, careers, and houses. But for 99% of human history, there was no stored wealth. The most “stable” partner would have been physically strong and dependable as well as young enough to stay alive through the child’s upbringing. 40 used to be old not just middle aged. Historically, if a man is too old, his ability to protect and provide is less than that of his younger counterparts. His age also meant future contributions wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:13 AM
4

Rape does appear to be a natural part of the animal kingdom. Are you seriously disputing this? Do I have to bring up dolphin and otters and ducks and all of human history? Humans enslave each other and then rape their slaves. We are apex predators. Be so for real right now. Yes, we are a cooperative species that can efficiently communicate and that’s how we got ahead of other predators. That didn’t rewrite all of evolution.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 08:57 AM
4

I see what you’re saying. I have noticed though, that anxiously attached people objectify their partners and use them as a way to validate and relive old experiences. It’s a performance and a chase. They avoid talking about their real feelings directly because it’s a game to them where the prize is they get to feel ok about themselves. They don’t see the other person for what they are because it’s not about the other person. The anxious may chase the avoidant but if they were really trying to co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 08:50 AM
5

Sure. We have a natural tendency to care for each other and also, particularly for men but some women too, to kill and mutilate and rape each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 08:41 AM
11

No she’s not. Women like this dump emotionally available men because they’re too boring. They don’t like emotionally available men because those men would expect them to show up in ways they can’t and don’t give them the high highs (that come with the low lows). Those men would love them for who they are, not for their elaborate performance. Emotionally unavailable people tend to not think who they are is good enough and want to perform - it keeps others at a distance. That’s why they chase. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 08:31 AM
25

Actually more likely the woman is also emotionally unavailable. If you find yourself in a pattern with emotionally unavailable partners, take a look in the mirror. You’re not a victim; you’re the perp.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 06:36 AM
1

Men and women typically look best from early/mid twenties (depends on facial structure; some keep the baby face longer) to mid thirties. Some people really shin in their thirties. Realistically, I’ve never seen a man or woman look better in their 40s than they did in their 30s though. 30s is still youngish. People saying otherwise must know some rough 30 somethings. 40s is when it actually gets real in terms of aging for men and women. Men age faster at this age due to stronger facial muscles an…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:30 AM
10

If this were an instinct men had it would be irresistible. Instincts can’t be turned off easily. Men are responsible for almost all of women murdered, raped and mutilated. Men beat their wives and belittle women constantly. Not all men, but many. Your instinct argument doesn’t hold up. Btw the idea of maternal instinct is iffy too. Lots of terrible mothers out there. When chimps in captivity have offspring, the mother will just leave them alone to die if she wasn’t socialized by other chimps to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:23 AM
18

This is a great answer. Another facet in woman desiring a man they want not need is sexual desirability. I’m shocked how many men on here think women sexually desire… money, I guess? Relationships about money are transactional. The women didn’t really sexually desire those men typically. Being sexually desirable is all about being healthy and fit. You don’t need to be 6’4 or have an insane jawline. But being fit and having a decent haircut and nice style is important for sexual attraction even o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:18 AM
12

Yeah…. Once we are in our 30s a lot of people have kids. When I dated men around my age, many have kids. It’s one reason I dated younger. I totally understand not wanting to date single mothers. I don’t want to date single fathers. They can date each other and understand each other better.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:12 AM
2

-90 percent of women wouldn’t sleep with almost any man. -as I said, plain women often have some of the highest rates for escort services. They aren’t stunning. Pretty enough but in a plain way is the best way I can describe it. -I don’t know what you’re talking about with “require the same things a hot woman would.” I’ve seen gorgeous women treated terribly and average women cherished and loved by their husband. -I think you’re the guy who talks about bottle service at clubs and such. Most peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 11:39 PM
2

Some of the best paid escorts are girl next door types. The “girlfriend experience” usually charges more than normal and the men who pay for that often want someone who is pretty, but in a plain way. I think the reason is they can delude themselves into thinking they’d have a shot in the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:39 PM
1

If they didn’t more people would be sex workers. And 200 was the going rate almost 20 years ago for escorts. I had a few escort friends. I doubt it’s still that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:38 PM
2

He does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:37 PM
2

Sucking dick is easy? Eating pussy is easy. Sucking dick is called a job for a reason. -someone who has done both
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:36 PM
2

How do you pay with time? Do you not enjoy spending time with women you’re dating or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:35 PM
1

Or just have the type of sex that makes you orgasm? If I charged men to have sex then I doubt they’d focus on my orgasms as much and that’s what I’m there for. Actually as I wrote that I realized a lot of men would pay to go down on me. I just almost invariably wouldn’t like those men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:35 PM
0

What about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:42 PM
0

Because cheaters aren’t hard to spot. Sure they can fool you for a few dates, but if you aren’t meeting friends and family and going to their home, you should be suspicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:39 PM
9

Agreed. And men will date women with husbands. People who get involved with cheaters usually aren’t victims. They know exactly what they’re doing. Either they are commitment averse and this takes care of that or they confuse intensity with intimacy. Either way, it’s not a problem that will go away. Plenty of people want to cheat and plenty of people want the fun and excitement of being a paramour. This all isn’t really a big problem for single people. Cheaters are pretty easy to spot if you’re h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:34 PM
1

The guy (or woman) is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:44 AM
1

You just said the only way men will want to teach children is if women fuck them for it. Do women fuck the men who work at jiffy lube? What about Home Depot? Those are manly jobs that no one is getting blow jobs for. Let’s also be real: Teaching is higher status than working at jiffy lube. Better benefits and a much better salary after a few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:43 AM
1

A sexual fling isn’t grooming as it’s quick/sudden to start and finish, but absolutely some women do groom very young men. “Groomers placed themselves in roles that allowed them access to children, such as club leaders, carers and teachers. Investigators found that the grooming process involved “normal” adult-child interactions, such as playing games, buying gifts and trips to the park (which isolated victims). On the surface, these behaviours would not necessarily flag any concerns. Another fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:41 AM
2

So they weren’t trying to date you. So this question doesn’t apply to you. They were just mentors/friends or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:58 PM
3

I preferred the company of older people when I was a teen too. What I later realized was that the reason they liked MY company was not so pure (when it was the opposite sex). It’s easy to impress a nice young person who feels like an outsider who is misunderstood. That’s actually probably one of the easiest types to groom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:54 PM
1

When Billie Bob was younger he actually was pretty sexy. I remember having a crush on him when he was younger. He just wasn’t ethereal looking like Jolie or pretty like Brad Pitt. I don’t know the other couple. Cillian Murphy is married to a rather plain woman and he’s outlandishly handsome. James MacAvoy was married (first marriage) to a plain actress. I remember women being mean about her online. Keanu is with a rather plain though elegant woman. I could go on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:51 PM
5

No, they don’t pay 40% https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/fact-check-richest-1-dont-pay-40-of-the-taxes.html Republican presidents have added slightly more to the national debt per term than Democratic presidents, according to inflation-adjusted data from the U.S. Treasury Department and the Bureau of Labor Statistics dating back to 1913. https://www.investopedia.com/democrats-vs-republicans-who-had-more-national-debt-8738104
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:13 AM
2

Love bombing is not buying gifts or paying attention. Love bombers are consciously aware that they’re lying and manipulating. “Oh baby I’ve never met anyone like you before. We are gonna run away together. Your mother and father don’t understand you I bet. Yeah I sensed that. Well I do. You and are have something so special.” - a love bomber in the first week. Charles Manson love bombed his cult. It’s a manipulation tactic. I don’t think only women should have a vote on anything. That’s not how …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:08 AM
4

Anyone in their late thirties who is still getting drunk every weekend at a dive bar and maybe even doing a little cocaine or Molly sometimes and sleeping with strangers is immature, yeah. I don’t bat an eyelid at 25 year olds who do that. It’s unhealthy but I remember it being somewhat common to be honest. A woman or man who is 35 and DEFINITELY 40 doing that is a drug addict. Being child free does mean a different life but you can be a mentor and connected to the community and the next generat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:02 AM
3

In my opinion, reasonable people don’t care about sexual flings between cougars and 18 year old men. What’s suspect is a relationship where power dynamics can come fully into play. Us older people know damn well no normal 45 year old lady has an intellectual connection to an 18 year old. Some wild sex? Yeah whatever. I see the appeal for sure. But a relationship? I actually know a mid 30s woman who married a 19 year old. She was his teacher in high school. She really liked control, as you can im…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:57 AM
5

There are different social stages to being an adult. It’s wild to pretend an 18 year old suddenly is as wise in terms of how relationship dynamics work as a 39 year old. They don’t. They are easily manipulated compared to other 39 year olds. Love bombing is extremely easy to do to the romantically inexperienced. As I said, we can all raise an eyebrow about what Anna Nicole smith did with a man on deaths door but I’m not for taking elderly people’s right to vote away. You’re for taking away intel…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:45 AM
2

So people who can’t protect themselves from exploitation shouldn’t be able to vote or work normal (no child labor law restricted) hours? Should people with slight intellectual disabilities also not be allowed to vote? I would argue they work and pay taxes so they should. That doesn’t mean I won’t raise an eyebrow when someone who isn’t intellectually challenged dates them. I’m 39 as of this year. If I dated a 20 year old man (I don’t mean had sex with a couple of times - I mean romantically date…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:29 AM
1

Women were and in many cases still are oppressed in many societies with agriculture. There is a general agreement that in hunter gather societies there is more egalitarianism between the sexes. Where do you see the conflict between “women have been oppressed and in some cases still are” and “women did plenty of work?” You understand the Bible and all its patriarchal ways was written once agriculture was invented (and with it property became a big deal).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:05 AM
1

There is no evidence men provided more food. In fact, foraging (gathering) consistently is shown in modern hunter gatherer societies to provide most of the caloric intake. What shelters did men make that women couldn’t? What specifically did our nomadic ancestors erect that women wouldn’t be able to do and she had to sit on a rock and wait for a man who she needed to have sex with in exchange for shelter? I’m genuinely interested. Yes, please provide the evidence. I’m not saying men did nothing.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 05:32 AM
1

By power you mean political power? Do you believe more men hold office because they have higher IQs? Or did you mean economic power? Do you believe successful business owners and men in finance on average have exceptionally high IQs? Do you have evidence for that? Do you have any evidence of how IQ is distributed among professions and socioeconomic classes? I would be interested to see it. Long ago I remember reading a study that said philosophy college majors had the highest IQs. It’s easy to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 05:19 AM
1

There is no evidence men provided more food or water. Protection from the elements? Historically women were the ones who sewed and weaved. Textiles are typically a woman’s domain. Working a field? Like agriculture? Most of our history we didn’t really have agriculture. Modern hunter gatherer societies show women often hunt, especially small game. Men and women usually gather and gathering yields more calories while also expending less. Men sometimes go off hunting for big game but that is feast …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:51 AM
1

So as someone who scores usually around 148 on professionally administered tests (I actually got more time on tests in college because my high IQ is considered special needs - that’s not a joke you can look it up)… no. Once you get to three standard deviations from normal it doesn’t help much in terms of business acumen or ability to become a surgeon or high performing lawyer. I think the average IQ of an American physician is 120. That wouldn’t even get you into one of those “gifted” programs s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:42 AM
2

Only nurturing is something I’ve seen considered feminine, and that’s because it often involves stepping aside and putting other people’s wants and needs above your own. That’s not what nurturing has to be, but in this context that’s how people mean it and it why men didn’t want to claim it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:14 AM
1

Throughout history resources weren’t much of a thing. We were hunter gatherers and women of the group provided often more nutrition than the men, if modern hunter gather societies teach us anything. The concept of property isn’t something our brains evolved alongside of. It’s incredibly recent. What makes sense is women wanting to breed with the tallest, fastest, strongest, man, who would necessarily also be young because by middle age our bones and teeth and skin were shot back then and he woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:57 PM
1

Male gold diggers are all around us. Women just put up with it slightly less and also tend to have less gold. I’ve worked home health and gone into many homes with a pretty boy father who doesn’t work and a plain looking mom busting her ass while I look in on their disabled child or sick grandma. It’s actually not uncommon at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:48 PM
1

I can find you studies showing women perform higher in IQ tests just like you can find some saying men do. Who knows how helpful IQ is. I don’t think men or women are smarter naturally. My point is women have always done better in school. It’s not some new thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:46 PM
1

The most beautiful women date the most beautiful men. Jolie and Pitt. Giselle and Tom Brady. Etc. etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:43 PM
1

Women want sexual attraction for sex. If it’s just money, baby she don’t like you. We like sexually desirable men. But keep paying that mortgage. That’s the only way lots of men have access to sex their partners hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:23 PM
2

Say hi
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:52 PM
1

Money doesn’t make women sexually attracted to men. It makes some women want to spend that money. Raw sexual desire can’t be bought, and certainly not by old bald or short or fat rich men. Side note: hobosexuals care about a woman having money and her physique is secondary by far. Plenty of pretty boys live off of women who are less conventionally attractive than them. Money never once made a pussy wet. If she’s with you for the money she’s thinking of someone else and prepping mentally with fan…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:44 PM
1

I was being cheeky with my answer. I know why women weren’t allowed to go to top institutions of higher education and I don’t really think men are naturally not good at school…. But they seem to have always been worse at it which makes it so interesting adults looked around and said “the ones who aren’t as good at knowing stuff should be in charge because the other ones have babies and are smaller.”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:38 PM
1

If she keeps looking after you’ve caught her looking once.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:36 PM
5

Well considering the pregnancy risk and STI risk from someone you just met: Men usually aren’t at as much risk as women due to anatomy…. Unless… I’m on my period. Not too much blood but it could be infected with hiv. I expect a man to have sex with me on a first date if I pay. Period blood shouldn’t be a concern. I paid. I promise I don’t have HIV or Hep C. Would society judge me?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:46 AM
14

“Man/woman won’t go out with a woman/man unless she/he looks a very certain way” would be a better equivalent and only very sensitive unattractive men and women get bent out of shape about that. Expecting sex immediately comes with risks greater than a 20 dollar dinner. It’s not equivalent. Expecting sex within a certain time frame and breaking off the relationship is deemed reasonable by most non-religious people. ETA: men complaining how terrible it is most women like the way tall men with lon…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:37 AM
20

And the way old ugly men who buy younger good looking women to use as status symbols and are congratulated and seen as more successful (“he can pull that?!l oh he must be somebody”) suggests otherwise. The people who celebrate gold diggers also celebrate buying a partner for status. Both view relationships as transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:06 AM
1

They are encouraged to care about socioeconomic status. Talk to any Indian American and see how much what the woman does matters in arranged marriages. I’m a white nurse who has dated white surgeons. The comments I’ve gotten from their friends and family would shock you. Genuinely I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you the snide remarks I got.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:03 AM
16

The hate gold diggers and men who are stay at home husbands get suggests society does care.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:59 AM
1

The OP says women are encouraged to care about money. I am saying: so are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:58 AM
2

Women are naturally more conformist than men? That must be why when I suggest taking good photos and styling hair so many men here go “but that’s GAY. I shouldn’t have to act like a girl to get dates.” Being attractive is apparently “acting like a girl” and many men are deathly friend of that even though it would get them pussy. “We found that, in both studies, males conformed more to their gender-role sign than did females. This suggests that conformity to certain gender and social norms has gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:57 AM
1

If the purpose is to consolidate power and decrease access to things almighty leader deems “degenerate” (a word the Nazis loved) then yes, removing funding from certain areas is absolutely a sign of authoritarianism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:51 AM
2

Men from the upper middle and upper class are openly encouraged to only marry within their class.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:46 AM
1

You can reduce them to what they offer financially. You can view them as interchangeable with other men since they are reduced to money. Men do this to women too, but for some reason some men here pretend hobosexuals aren’t a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:43 AM
4

Men are absolutely encouraged to go for looks as a way of gaining status through her. Men from upper middle and upper class families are encouraged to marry women from the same socioeconomic status.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:41 AM
50

I mean I have money so I focus on physique and face like most women who aren’t living in abject poverty. Though even they seem to go for poor hot guys quite often when they can. Men and women objectify each other in all kinds of ways. It’s foolish to think they don’t. Objectification isn’t always bad. I’m fine with being sexually objectified if by objectify you mean reduce me to my appearance. If you mean deny my subjectivity (think my experience and wishes don’t matter) then that’s shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:41 AM
–

I don’t need spontaneous desire but anyone skilled in oral sex in women is going to result in a great time. Plus I’m assuming they’d be hot which would trigger responsive desire. I don’t like it because I can’t get into it knowing the other person doesn’t enjoy it. Plenty of men enjoy it and I’d rather be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:31 AM
2

I agree there should be more male teachers in elementary school. Would love to see more men teaching kindergarten and first grade.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:29 AM
–

Your money makes your money while you don’t have to do anything but have money to invest? Anything else and you’re not rich. You’re still working class. Lawyers, doctors, and engineers are all working class as they work for their money. If in the off chance you got all your money from some lucky break in the stock market, then you’re an anomaly. The vast majority of tycoons actively had to be involved in things like hostile takeovers at least in the beginning, but realistically always. Venture c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:28 AM
2

Upper class men are more feminine? So feminine people are more successful?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:25 AM
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