TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Ill_Coffee_6821 Archive

View 1 post and 136 comments by Ill_Coffee_6821 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

Ill_Coffee_6821/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 04:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

r/lostredditors
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/26 07:05 PM
–

Is this you, Danielle Merrifield?! Jokes aside, this is literally the plot playing out on a very bad reality tv show where the husband has convinced the wife he can sleep with other women bc it’s god’s will. It’s manipulative. But look, you seem to be defending it as better. If you believe that, who cares what others think? On the flip side if you’re convincing yourself to believe it so you done lose your husband, this won’t end well.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 04:35 PM
1

I agree with you of course, given my career. Was mostly being cheeky but I will say I have been shocked at all the wacky things women go through when they hit this phase of life. My friends are all experiencing it and we’re only in our 40s. It’s wild. It’s like biology has said we are done with fertility and can now be forgotten! That said there are more treatments and research these days and it’s been incredible seeing so many successful older actresses in popular tv etc. I grew up with the gol…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:32 PM
1

Go with what you’re attracted to. There are no rules. You asked why most women are attracted to older men and did so in a RPW sub which hinges on more traditional gender roles.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:22 PM
1

I have to say that as a woman who recently has been in peri menopause the “women aren’t cut out for the working world” has really gotten me thinking. It’s like I forget things mid sentence, my brain is more foggy, I’m tired. I work a demanding job and it’s tough… I love work and I think women should of course work if they wish, but it has gotten much tougher!
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:20 PM
15

Attraction is subjective and I personally am more attracted to older men, so the “younger often more attractive” doesn’t resonate with me. Part of the attraction is physical but older men also come with more wisdom, more success in their career so they can more likely take care of you, have more choice about their working hours, more nest egg, more mature, more sexual experience, more life experience, can learn more from them, don’t need to “teach” them things, etc. Now there’s a limit on how mu…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 10:23 AM
1

I suggested that also - totally agree - has helped perspective so much!
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 05:57 AM
32

I don’t think you’re wrong for how you feel but I do think you’re going about this the wrong way. Men don’t love women who get all huffy and leave long messages about boundaries. That’s not going to bode well for you whether it’s this guy or someone else. Boundaries are shown. If you aren’t the type of woman to want to hang late night, you simply dont pick up the late night call. You’re off doing something else. You politely decline the date that starts at 10 and suggest an earlier time another …
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 09:45 AM
3

You missed my point. I don’t agree at ALL with your generalization that just because someone is an exec or strong performer at work or has a stressful job means they don’t want to or are incapable of planning things for their partner. It’s a personality difference. The generalization is totally inaccurate. I don’t consider someone expecting me to make simple plans or plan a trip or for my partner to do so to be “sky high expectations” in the least lol.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 05:47 PM
3

OP I am still very very interested in your last paragraph about how your partner is so generous and thoughtful. Can you give examples? It will help with context on this issue.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 02:14 PM
2

I am the original commenter on this thread and I have to say this level of “spontaneity” would not work for me even though I am good at letting my partner lead. My partner and I are both corporate execs with crazy jobs and that doesn’t prevent either one of us from simple planning of a vacation or a weekend for the others birthday or anything else without it being “on the fly.” This feels more like a difference in personality. There are many high powered men who can still take the time to plan s…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 02:10 PM
10

Instead of asking about it you could have said something like “I’m so excited for our trip!” These are little things but so much is about how you approach it. Buy Laura Doyle’s books they will help you. You didn’t answer my question at the end.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 04:08 AM
10

You’re not giving him the opportunity. Sure he may have chosen a place for dinner but there are ways to point this out or accept that don’t make him feel like he made a mistake. Instead of “those places don’t have food” - you could try something like “what a cute spot, looks like they have cocktails, maybe we can get a bite somewhere before and follow up with cocktails there” - or just make sure you’ve eaten and then go for drinks with him at his place of choice. He did take a step to do what yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 12:17 AM
40

Girl, I’d love to give you advice on this but it doesn’t seem as though you are with a good man (drugs, cheating, cannot take care of you). I’d hate to see you waste your best years on this man only to have a life that doesn’t look the way you envisioned. The road to get out may be difficult but you’re only 23 years old. You have time. No, this is not normal. Can you salvage the relationship with your family? What makes you want to stay with this man?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/26 09:28 PM
5

Absolutely this. I really did not like his excuse. He could have said not anything at all and OP probably would have thought it was thoughtful that he walked her all the way to the bus stop and made sure she got on, and chalked it up to any number of reasons why he didn’t offer, some of which are focused on OP’s own comfort. Saying it was out of his way didn’t register right to me. If I was taking a bus late at night I would hope a date would at least offer. I’m free to decline. But, as others h…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 12:32 AM
2

There isn’t a super easy way to assess this by asking (in my experience). However this can usually be assessed very early in the dating process. 1) See what they plan for dates. Do they plan something nice and pick up the tab quickly. This tells you a lot about their provider values. I always declined low effort dates like a coffee or walk as they seemed like a man who didn’t share my values. You’ll also know what they do for work which says a lot before you choose to chat or meet. 2) Assuming y…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 09:28 PM
29

The feminist movement is about giving women choice and freedom. You want to work a high powered job and be the bread winner? Great. You want a more traditional gender roles relationship? Great. But it’s been commandeered by progressive politics into something totally different, where choice and equal opportunity suddenly mean no recognition at all of normal biological differences (that make each gender special imo). Traditional “gender roles” don’t exist and are some kind of historical relic. A …
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/26 01:22 PM
21

Everyone is different. I was single for so many years before I met my current long term partner. I absolutely love him so much, but I also miss having time to myself, traveling alone, choosing what I do, not having the tension when we do get into an argument, etc. I really miss all of that! Life was very peaceful. But it also had loneliness underneath all of that peace. The trick for me is to make sure I have not lost myself in my relationship. I still do the things that bring me joy, often by m…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 03:57 PM
16

This is not a feminist sub :-)
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/26 02:39 PM
87

A man who asks you to dinner, chooses the restaurant, and intends to pay for you picks the check up right when it hits the table so there is no awkwardness. He doesn’t wait for you to wonder or have to proactively address the bill. Just my humble opinion. This isn’t a big deal if it’s not a big deal to you, but it wouldn’t be my preference. Others may feel differently. What happened on the first date?
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 05:41 PM
33

No - a man intending to pay the bill picks it up immediately before it gets awkward, and pays. They don’t wait to see how the woman they asked to dinner reacts when the bill sits for a while.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 05:40 PM
1

I believe I said that. Are you just clarifying my comment?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 02:57 PM
2

I think you’re bothered by him saying he’d reconsider the relationship, and that it’s not the clothing boundary but the fact that he’d go nuclear if you crossed it — like it seems like something superficial but he’d end the relationship over it. Is that the root of the issue? I agree that can feel jarring. A different way for him to handle it might be — I’d feel very upset / not respected but ultimately it’s your body. My guess is the clothing boundary wouldn’t bother you if this was his respons…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 12:40 PM
10

Not all men cheat. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/26 12:35 AM
2

Yeah they’re reading way too much into that. You’ve been kind and open in your responses.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 05:53 PM
1

We love old fashioned!
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 05:41 PM
1

But you seem to be giving strong advice that is counter to red pill values. That’s the reason you’re being downvoted.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 05:40 PM
2

Serious question though - why are you in red pill women sub?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 01:24 PM
3

We’re 50 years old and their marriages are still going strong. Sorry you’ve seen otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 01:18 PM
4

Someone here posted an AMA like an hour ago who is married to a surgeon making 1.8m. She met him when she was a nurse. They weren’t in the same social circle. Additionally, if you meet your partner early (many women in this sub are young), the man has future earning potential. My best friend married a man she met in college and he is in private equity and she’s a stay at home. I have multiple friends who met their partners in college or around that time and it had nothing to do with being in the…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 06:42 AM
1

No.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 06:26 AM
–

That was my question I guess. I make a 7 figure salary on my own so our lives are very different. What I wouldn’t give for a normal nights sleep sometimes. But I think I’d end up unfulfilled.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 05:37 AM
83

You posted in marriage that you are lonely and have never felt more alone due to not being a priority to your husband. But here you’ve only discussed the positives, like your life is perfect. Why?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 05:29 AM
66

Out of curiosity, what was your motivation to do an AMA? What do you feel others here can learn from you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 03:57 AM
17

Men should pay. This sets the tone for the relationship you want. If you want a provider type, let him pay. If you don’t, offer to split, but don’t be surprised later when you don’t have a male led relationship with a provider.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 08:23 PM
3

I reeeeeally wanted to stay away from these types of things too but ultimately did the research and learned more. I’m sure you’ll find the right path for you 💕
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/26 05:20 AM
–

Only you know what’s best for you ❤️ for vis I suggested it as I am on spiro for hair loss and it’s done wonders for me, and I know it’s one of the same things prescribed for mtf. I wish you the best of luck in whatever path you take. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/26 05:07 AM
–

They often prescribe spirolactone etc for mtf people who transition. Perhaps you could speak to a doctor about hormones that would help soften your appearance. So sorry this happened to you. It can be such a risk to allow kids to start transitioning when they are so young as kids often try on lots of different identities as they grow. Doing permanent damage because of it seems so cruel. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/26 04:55 AM
–

It’s not “wrong” - there is no wrong here. I just don’t think you’re going to hook the fish you envision, at least not in time to take care of your little ones. Which feels imminent.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 12:38 AM
15

Girl, you have 4 young kids (one not even born yet!) and found a man who seems to love you, is handsome, great sex, etc. That’s good for your circumstances. But don’t marry this man if you don’t love him or see a life with him or anticipate being unhappy. That’s not good for anyone. ETA: He has a felony conviction - are you ok with that? But breaking it off on the off chance you find an even wealthier man who is ready to start his life with a woman with four young kids is crazy. The more likely …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/26 11:24 PM
9

In the US it really depends on the region. Having $1m in the Bay Area is not a lot of money. Many, many men for this criteria of $1m NW late in their 20s or early 30s. I realize this is not the norm. But, most millionaires are formed after marriage. So the focus often is not how to marry a millionaire, the focus is would / should be on how to find someone with the right earning potential. This often happen by region (eg NY, Bay Area), university (top universities, programs), other areas where pe…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 07:20 PM
3

Yes, I totally understood your point. And my point was I agree this is untrue, and these “rags to riches” stories (super wealthy man ends up with a waitress) are rare.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 05:14 PM
5

Got it. Thanks for clarifying. I think the “rags to riches” stories like this aren’t that common, and often apply only to the uber wealthy who are looking for someone they can take care of / save who won’t have many opinions and essentially be reliant on them. The number of men who fit this description is rare, and I think you’d need to bring something else to the table (very beautiful or something else) to be noticed in the first place. Most wealthy men I believe want someone who can easily fit…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 03:40 PM
11

You’re misreading what people mean when they say they don’t care. An individual man doesn’t necessarily care about the exact level of education of his future wife, past the point of what’s acceptable. However, there’s a minimum buy-in that typically ensures women have the same socio-economic background, were raised a certain way, can carry themselves a certain way, etc. His wife’s education and job is NOT what attracts him or keeps him (unlike for women this can be), but is more like a minimum r…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 02:33 PM
4

Red pill is not a transactional exchange of specific chores in a relationship. You’ll find red pill women that have all types of relationships here - they work, perhaps the man stays w the kids, sometimes the man is the better cook, they might both high earners so they hire a maid, etc. Red pill is less about specific transactional things someone can bring to a relationship (though some people do define the roles in their relationship that way, and that’s ok too!), and is more about the behavior…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 03:11 PM
3

He wasn’t as excited to meet you as you were after the video chat. For whatever reason. Men often don’t process things in the moment, and figure out how they feel after, which is why you can think you had a great date but you don’t hear from them again. The reason doesn’t matter. Could be he wasn’t feeling strongly enough, realized you weren’t looking for the same things, started chatting with someone he was more excited about, whatever. I know it’s disappointing. When on dating apps, there are …
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/26 08:36 PM
1

I had much more success dating in my late 30s as I did when I was younger and didn’t find my life partner until I was 40! Not the norm and neither of us wanted kids, but I think I actually got better looking as I got older and because I was single for a while I picked up a lot of interesting hobbies, became quite successful, had more money to look better, and was able to attract higher quality men. I also dealt with some trauma via therapy that hindered my earlier relationships where I allowed m…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/25 07:07 PM
9

You don’t step back from your career while with your “boyfriend” - you step back from your career when you have “husband” and “baby on the way.” Until then, protect yourself and do not step back. Separately, these are things you need to make sure you’re aligned on before you get married. If he’s thinking you’ll be working with your income for X years and you’re thinking you want to stop working asap (or even to raise kids for a while), you need to discuss this now.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 01:25 AM
-1

Any man who has ever said “what do you bring to the table” for me was a walking red flag who believed women needed to earn chivalry etc from a man. You do not want to date this man.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:32 AM
–

RPW tends to focus on people looking for monogamy and marriage so I doubt you’ll find any info on this here. 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 07:26 AM
1

He wants you to have hobbies and things that get you excited OUTSIDE OF HIM. He wants you to be an independent person with your own interests. If he were to be out of town, would you have things you’d look forward to doing on your own or would you sit around missing him? He wants you to be interesting in some way beyond seeking a partner. The actual hobby or passion doesn’t matter as much as that you have it — I ride horses and absolutely love it. It’s something that makes me feel grounded and h…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 02:05 PM
4

The discomfort you’re feeling is because you’re trying to believe something you don’t. Stop doing that. It will drive you crazy. There are many people (I assume) that want to lead a “Christian life” with Christian values who don’t necessarily believe or abide by everything. Think about it less as forcing a belief system on you and more about living your life by a certain set of Christian values. Go to church, be active, meet people, and raise your kids with the values of Christianity. This will …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 02:02 PM
5

Info: You mention they live separately and have 50/50 custody. Are they divorced? Is the divorce final? Have you explicitly asked him about this? How “recently” did he have the courage to leave? Based on your careful wording, I suspect the separation is relatively new and he is still married. Unless the papers have been signed (or the marriage is simply waiting for sign off from the judge but is otherwise signed by the parties, which is a grey area), he is a married man, and should not be consid…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 01:13 PM
1

With your age and financial difference, I don’t think you should start offering to pay for dates. Especially when he’s taking you to places outside of your budget. Make sure you thank him for the dates he plans. If he’s showing consistent promise and commitment, show your appreciation in other ways — cooking dinner for him, a small gift that shows thought (small!), planning something you know he’d enjoy (not expensive or elaborate). But this is after there’s been consistency — two dates isn’t en…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 10:20 PM
7

wtf
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/25 12:22 AM
16

You shouldn’t be speaking for a few hours with anyone before meeting them. It creates a false sense of closeness with someone you may not be interested in or attracted to in person. Pre-dates are for knowing the basics enough to see if you want to meet in person. Otherwise they’re a waste of time and this isn’t a unique story (it’s not necessarily blocked, but many stories of “we talked for hours and had a great connection, but I didn’t like him when we met in person”). Also who has time to talk…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/25 03:36 PM
58

To you this was a deep conversation. Reading this as an outsider, it seemed like the guy was grilling you, unhappy with your answers, and sexually pushy. It doesn’t seem at all like the conversation felt deep or connective on his end. Maybe he was bored, curious about what you’d say, whatever. But it doesn’t seem like he was interested in you as a partner, and his interactions with you don’t seem like they demonstrated the level of respect a man genuinely interested would have for you. Agree wit…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/25 03:14 PM
4

TL;DR please 😳
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/25 09:13 PM
9

You can’t extrapolate the workplace to the home. I’d actually argue that’s why some women don’t follow traditional roles, because “equality.” Many of us women are working in high powered jobs, but still prefer more traditional roles outside of work. My partner drives the car, opens the doors, takes care of me in many ways (even though financially I don’t need it), and still respects and is attracted to how smart and driven I am. I absolutely love that I can put the masculine energy to bed when I…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 12:10 AM
3

You need to be your best advocate. Was it a dermatologist. Did the doctor do the biopsy and bloodwork? If not, find a new doctor. Doctors are notorious for dismissing hair loss in women. There’s r/femalehairloss as well but you’ll see the same advice there. Ask for the meds. They’re the only thing that works unless they find some other condition in your bloodwork. Most bloodwork won’t show anything systemically. It’s used to rule out more serious problems.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/25 02:46 AM
5

Go to a dermatologist and get a scalp biopsy and bloodwork. I dealt with the same thing and it was androgenetic alopecia. They can prescribe you oral minoxidil and spirolactone (in the US) which are proven to help regrow. Things like vitamins etc won’t work on this. Earlier is better. It could also be an issue with thyroid etc. In the meantime, rock those wigs!! I have an amazing wig collection that I barely wear anymore, but I do sometimes as my current partner finds them sexy (my natural hair …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/25 12:57 PM
2

It’s your relationship, you know best what works for you. Hope it works out.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 04:56 PM
3

Trust me, there are men out there that won’t treat you like this. I met a wonderful man at 44 who I’ve been with since! It really does happen.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 02:33 PM
5

Separate question though - do you want to be with someone who bullies you into making changes? The changes may be small now, but they only get bigger and more complex once your lives are merged. They become about money and kids and housing and work … far beyond what you have now. Please think critically before committing to spend your life with someone like this. If you can’t figure out how to compromise over how you spend the few minutes before sleep together (when you don’t even live together …
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 10:49 PM
10

This doesn’t feel like productivity and more about a lack of respect for you and how you want to spend your time. Him making you feel less than because you chose to scroll on your phone to zone out before sleep isn’t about being productive, it’s about him shaming you for your behavior. This is the type of thing that doesn’t get better IMO. If it bothers you, you should either 1) have an honest discussion with him about this, be firm about how it makes you feel without being emotional, 2) write i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:23 PM
5

When he offers to do something (pay for dinner, fix things around the house, drive me somewhere), I accept graciously so he feels his desire to take care of me is well-received and appreciated. I avoid pointing out small things that he could do better, because they really don’t make a difference (for example there was a post here yesterday about pointing out parking spots). When I don’t have a strong opinion on something, I try to defer to him (“what do you think is best?” etc) so he knows I res…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/25 08:41 PM
9

I wonder if it’s the manner in which you communicate your needs. Sometimes it’s best to communicate less and show with your actions. If you don’t want to communicate a lot, perhaps just take a while to respond, but when you do respond, show up as your best self. If you can’t make it work on a weekday, simply suggest an alt “I can’t that day, but I’m available on Friday!” If you don’t want to talk everyday, maybe a little joke like “I’m the worst at texting, I always forget to check my phone!” in…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/25 10:01 PM
15

Completely agree! A man who is interested would be so excited to see you when he finally got home that he’d make plans. Even if he was busy and couldn’t right away, he’d let you know when he’d come up for air.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/25 04:58 AM
4

First, you determine whether you’re actually aligned or not. Get the real timeline from him. If it’s not suitable to you, don’t spend time trying to change it when he’s already told you what he wants. You unilaterally telling him what you want when he’s already told you he wants something different is not going to help you get what you want. If he’s been consistent in the timeline he wants and you believe him and want to be with him, stay. If you don’t, leave. We can’t answer that for you. But t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 01:50 PM
5

So he told you what he wanted from the start. You told him what you wanted. And you’re upset that he’s moved the timeline back to what he already told you he wanted when this was discussed? It doesn’t sound like you were aligned on the original timeline? Whatever you decide to do - trust me you don’t want to marry a man you had to push into marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 01:18 PM
6

You say in the title that he seems to be making slight changes to your timeline, but in your summary you seem to have told him everything you want, but not that this is what you two agreed on together (“my initial timing” etc). Did you agree with him on a specific timeline, or did you tell him what you wanted without him agreeing to the timeline you wanted? You need to have an up front discussion with him where you get a clear response from him, rather than just expressing what you want and hopi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/25 11:06 AM
1

Oh gosh I missed that. Yeah that’s bad, but also he came clean pretty fast. Not cool though, I agree
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/25 10:25 PM
5

You were broken up. Depending on the circumstances, he was free to sleep with whoever. That doesn’t mean you need to be OK with it, but I think you need to dig deep within yourself as to why it’s bothering you so much, given it technically wasn’t a violation of trust. Are you jealous (your issue)? Are you concerned about his values (his issue)? Etc.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/25 02:42 PM
5

You know if there’s too much laundry for a single load you can just do two loads even if it’s not done every two days right? Is this like a pay machine or something? Laundry every two days for a couple isn’t the norm IMO. I think people usually do laundry once a week and separate into multiple loads by color or whatever. There are many ways to avoid having laundry loads that are too big to dry besides doing it every 2 days. That said, you teach people how to treat you. If you’re not happy now, y…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/25 05:22 PM
4

You don’t have kids yet, so if this is such an issue, why don’t you help with some of the savings and then take time off once you have kids?
/r/RedPillWives05/06/25 02:11 PM
13

Who asks for body count after high school? I understand you’re getting divorced so you probably haven’t dated in a while, but that feels very childish and extremely personal.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 03:30 AM
19

I joined when dating a man who was ending a difficult divorce after many years and as his girlfriend I wanted to understand him better. :-) I’ve never responded or posted (except for this because it’s a direct question for women)
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 06:30 PM
1

Honestly you will probably know if you can have this with a man you meet within a few dates based on how they uplevel the relationship. It’s a filtering process. But I’m not sure you can do more to find the person other than widening the top of your funnel as much as possible and filtering quickly. Usually you know within a few dates if a man is interested in getting serious with you. You can use that info to ask better questions to understand what they’re looking for. In terms of speed, some me…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/25 02:31 PM
4

I think you’re conflating two concepts - being genuine vs letting him take the lead. The whole “play hard to get” routine means you actively change your warm, accepting behavior to throw the man off track. This is often seen as a game, where you might purposely direct your behavior to throwing the man off track. Men don’t like this. Men wanting to chase simply means you let them lead, but continue to show excitement and appreciation so they know how you feel. So you let him reach out, make the d…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/25 01:42 PM
15

I love giving gifts to my partner! I think of the gifts I give him more as “doing thoughtful things” because I’m thinking of him and less of an actual gift. And I think that’s why I feel so good about it. I’ve only ever gotten him gift-gifts (like a physical item of indulgence) for traditional occasions like a birthday, but otherwise I gift give a lot. It’s not about spending extra money for me, it’s about extra thought. A couple things lately as examples - there’s a fun local music festival wit…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/25 02:43 PM
4

You’ve asked what he wants and needs already, so as long as you’ve let him know he has a safe space to talk, I wouldn’t try talking to him more or supporting him with words. Seems like you’re giving him good, restful sleep, doing everything to make his life easier. The one other thing I’d say is it can be typical for the man to embrace us and be the one who spoons us, etc. Have you tried just holding him and not saying anything? Like if he’s in bed or on the sofa, just rubbing his back without s…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/25 02:37 PM
2

There’s a big difference between complaining and asking for advice. I said asking for advice is fine. Talking about your job is fine. Complaining is not. Being a “boss babe” in your relationship is not. I don’t think I used the word vent at all, as I’m not sure exactly what it means. I think a man who loves you will want to help you with whatever situation you’re in, and will show genuine interest in how your day was. But all partners tire of someone who complains a lot. You can be feminine and …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 01:24 PM
3

Stay away from those men. They’re looking for someone to fix which can often result in controlling behavior. A good man protects you out of love and respect, not because you need protecting.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 09:19 PM
4

Also men don’t want a project. The ones that take care of you don’t want to do it because they feel like you need to be taken care of. They want to do it because they love and care about you. A good man and provider will respect that you can take care of yourself, even if he’s totally willing and excited to take care of you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 04:18 PM
26

Yes, of course. The trick is leaving work at work. Many men will be attracted to the fact that you’re smart and driven but you need to leave the masculine energy and switch into the feminine energy. Let him lead in your relationship. Don’t project manage him. It’s ok to feel stressed about work as well, but don’t complain to him. If anything, ask him for advice if you need and let him help you with whatever situation you’re in. Or don’t talk to him about work at all. “Boss babe” is a mindset and…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 03:56 PM
4

A girls girl isn’t about men at all. Making it about men vs women loses the plot. A girls girl, for example, doesn’t flirt with a man you’re interested in. A girls girl doesn’t ditch her friends when she meets a guy. A girls girl genuinely gets enjoyment out of her female friendships and wants the best for her friends without being jealous or having conditional friendships. This isn’t a fad. And it has nothing to do with rallying bad behavior. I’d expect friends who truly cared about me to look …
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 08:54 PM
3

Probably true, but I wouldn’t think of it like “frequent sex has put him in a better mood” — though probably true, when couples have a healthy sex life and feel connected during sex, they tend to feel more connected overall. So it’s possible that the closeness with you is not just physically rewarding for him, but also making him feel overall more connected and loving toward you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 05:12 AM
9

Have you considered that you feel better about yourself, which makes you happier and more attractive? And that it’s not only that you’re more attractive on the outside? Have you considered that your husband admires you for the steps you’re taking to improve your life and relationship and is therefore more attracted to you? I doubt it is just physical. That said, we are humans and we can’t deny that physical attraction is important in a relationship. Your husband isn’t a bad person for being real…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 04:38 AM
9

Definitely do not tell him about the other guy. In terms of the necklace, the best way to honor the gift and show genuine appreciation is to wear it. If you really think you won’t wear this one, I think your partner would be happier knowing you love what he got you and are excited to wear it. Because of this I think it’s OK to exchange it, provided you think the store will have something else that you’ll actually love to wear. You need to handle this delicately and not make it about taste. Tell …
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 07:52 AM
1

I talked to my therapist yesterday and we have our actual session tomorrow. The ball really is in his court. I sent a short message that followed a mix of Laura Doyle and Esther perel last night. I got the advice from ChatGPT and then made some tweaks based on its guidance. Then I copied and pasted the assessment of my email into the email I sent him accidentally and didn’t realize until after I sent it 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ It was honestly funny and it forced me to send a funny follow up th…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/25 03:00 PM
1

Also I’ve gotten the same feedback from a lot of my partners. That in the end they feel like they can’t make me happy. I’ll always find something to be bothered about.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/25 03:15 AM
1

He’s agreed to go to therapy and has been going and paying for it with me for two months. I have seen him actively implement many of the things the therapist says. He takes care of me in so many ways. He also struggles with anger. It’s not black and white. Obviously this is Reddit and I’m explaining the problems but he is also taking steps to do better which I admire because it’s not easy. No one taught him these skills. I also struggle with many things that he has forgiven me for.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/25 12:38 AM
1

I agree with you on this. He struggles to admit he’s wrong. He will come around eventually, but if I try to point it out in the moment it typically inflames things. He thinks very much in terms of black and white so wrong needs to be objectively wrong, not just something I’m bothered by. He has admitted he is wrong when he calls names and says certain things, but then does it again or infers that if I simply didn’t bring anything up, he would never have a reason to call me names. Our therapist h…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 09:08 PM
1

I totally agree with you. I guess I’m trying to figure out the line between the behavior changes I need to make to inspire my partner to be a more loving partner (according to someone like Laura Doyle) vs what I can talk to him about via words. He’s very difficult to talk to. But as I also struggle with not saying everything I want to say in the moment, I can also understand his frustration. He can still respond calmly though and often he doesn’t. His version of the story would be - she is alway…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 08:35 PM
1

I totally agree if he wanted to, he would. And I really believe he did want to. I don’t know that that’s true anymore. I also agree it is often me extending the olive branch and I don’t like that. When I don’t do that, he usually comes around eventually but he needs some space and perspective to do so. The last time this happened I did send an email mid week and I did take ownership of a few things he has been expressing, and he felt very heard and said “I now understand why it’s so important to…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 10:13 PM
1

Just downloaded the audio book. Thanks for the rec. I’m not even sure if we’re going to try to work this out. I already feel like I’ve broken a bunch of rules. I felt very empowered but I somewhat broke down recently. Another commenter got it very right. He told me he wanted to break up on Saturday so I don’t know what the right next move is. I haven’t reached out since then. But I told him before I left that’s not what I want and I don’t want us to make any decisions when angry. I also apologiz…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 09:00 PM
1

Also — on the “just not into you” comment. Curious about that. He does a lot for me in terms of acts of service. He does try to make my life better. If I need something he is there. He talks about a future and he plans things around me. He’s made efforts to learn parts of my culture and become a part of it. So I’m not seeing the just not into me … but … I do wonder if his lack of wanting to talk about stuff is just who he is (like he’d be like that with anyone, just somewhat wanting a surface le…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:48 PM
1

And yes, I’m exhausted. I think he is exhausted as well.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:42 PM
2

I think you have made a great point. He decided to go to therapy because I was doing what you’re doing a couple months ago, where I basically was about to walk bc of his behavior. He didn’t want to lose me. When he makes a stink and cancels plans and I say ok whatever, and go about my day, he does feel badly after. I was doing this for a bit the last couple months. Like one time we had an activity planned and he got frustrated in the morning and then didn’t pick up his phone. I went with someone…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:41 PM
2

On the respect issue, I actually feel like he’s the one that disrespects me. When we finally had a really good talk about it recently, I said there is a line that you cross that is very disrespectful to me when we argue. And he recognized this. It doesn’t mean we both can’t change, but he will name call and say blatantly hurtful things. But then blame his behavior on me — if I hadn’t upset him or raised another issue, he wouldn’t have acted like that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:14 PM
2

We’ve been together for 8 months. I think he has had some issues like this in prior relationships. I think it took several months to show bc of honeymoon phase. But this is something he was willing to go to therapy to work on (I know RP is not super therapy centric). We’re early 40s. Neither of us have been married. We both bring issues to the table. What I struggle with is I am cognizant of my faults and try to work on things. It takes a lot for him to even be able to say “ok I understand how I…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:10 PM
2

Appreciate your thoughtful response. I’ll look into this.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 08:04 PM
2

I don’t like labeling people as avoidant as we’re all fluid. He’s very committed. He struggles with feedback and gets defensive even if the feedback is relatively benign. I don’t think I have anxious attachment, I just struggle when I feel like I’m not heard. My core need is to be able to express myself and his core need is not to be criticized and those things don’t jive super well together. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time never knowing if he’s going to be open to talking or b…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 06:14 PM
2

Yes, I’m super familiar with Gottman and our therapist has talked about this a lot. My partner is new to therapy so he’s learning a lot of new skills. For example, previously if I said something to my partner like “it hurt me when you said X, bc …” he would get extremely defensive and try to explain how he’s not wrong. When I never said he was wrong. It was a totally foreign concept for him to be able to say “I can understand how that hurt you, I’ll try not to do that in the future” without admi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 06:11 PM
6

All of our arguments blow up because he becomes very defensive when I raise any kind of issue, which makes me feel very unheard. It’s the same cycle. Separately, quietly, I feel he maybe doesn’t want to hear me speak at all. He doesn’t seem to have much curiosity around who I am. He will listen if I talk about something but won’t ask any questions after and then won’t follow up. Like I had a friend who passed away in September and I was upset. He said he was sorry but hasn’t ever asked since how…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 04:24 PM
10

Also Bay Area. Also with a very slightly younger provider man. Also making upwards of $1m per year. He also does well but I make a bit more. We aren’t planning for kids so we don’t have that part of the equation. Despite all of this, our relationship dynamic is very comforting to me as I get to leave the high-powered “Hunter” role you mentioned and be more feminine in our relationship. I always let him pay for dinner. He loves to cook and I let him cook, but I also cook a lot. He always drives w…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 02:16 AM
9

You show genuine interest in him. It’s not that complicated. Ask him questions. Sound excited about the answers. Like you would with anyone else. Also, you’re getting rejected anyway. So why would showing more interest invoke a fear of rejection. You already said they lose interest with your current approach
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/24 12:39 AM
9

A man wants a woman who makes them feel happy, safe, secure, and evokes feelings of protectiveness in him. You can’t do that if you act uninterested in what he has to say. He is supposed to be your hero, you need to show that you care about him and what makes him happy. If you’re just smiling and show no interest, it evokes no feelings in a man. You’re not boring, you’re actively putting these men off at worst, and at best failing to evoke any emotion in him whatsoever. Letting him take the lead…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/24 11:34 PM
7

There are other deleted posts but OP’s comment remains where OP also seems physically abusive to her partner - eg kicking him when angry.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:36 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/hVUrwIYD3G
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:34 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/s/dF4XsmoKL4 This relationship is incredibly unhealthy.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:33 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/x2pyodc6Uc
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:32 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/aTZ9EdZTpu
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:31 PM
3

There was an old post about physical altercation, and other posts where he was swearing at her.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:30 PM
0

Have you considered couples counseling? Perhaps having a neutral person guide the communications between you two would help.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 06:05 PM
–

I suggested in my own comment that she and her fiancé go to couples therapy before getting married so they can learn to better communicate and resolve their differences.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 06:03 PM
1

Why do you keep ignoring the people commenting that his behavior was not appropriate in this situation? He was also acting incredibly immature, like a child. He needs to take accountability for that as well. And this is what seems to be preventing you from working things out in a mature way.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:59 PM
6

I think what the person was saying is that your fiancé didn’t act appropriately in the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:57 PM
1

Sorry about that. I should have stated it as an opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:56 PM
1

Read her post history. The man is abusive.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:53 PM
6

We’ll that’s my advice based on knowing very little. This man has been doing unacceptable things for years based on your history. And even if ok, you seem quite unhappy in the relationship. You know best.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:51 PM
–

This man is abusive. Reconsider marrying him. There should be no “decision maker for the family” - you should be working together to make big decisions. Again, you don’t need to defer to him to be red pill. It’s about the manner in which you interact. You can be a strong and independent woman, have opinions, and even disagree, and still be the feminine energy in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:45 PM
9

I think there’s a way to be a strong and independent woman while still being the feminine energy in the relationship. I think you’re conflating the two things and presenting it as if you’re unable to be strong and independent bc your husband is dominant. I am extremely strong and independent, have a high powered job, own my own house, and am independent in many ways. But I still let my partner lead and take on the masculine energy in the relationship. I don’t think those things are at odds at al…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:27 PM
5

Watch my big fat Greek wedding. There’s a funny scene about this. “We have to make Costa think it was his idea!” “The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants…”
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 12:51 AM
31

Definitely not silent treatment - that’s manipulative and a weak way to handle things. Do not nag either. The answer is to have clear boundaries with the things that are important to you. To state them directly. “It would be important to me if you could do X…”
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 10:19 PM
1

Title says “more masculine” but body says “more confident” — these aren’t necessarily the same thing. Which are you optimizing for? And is it for you (to be more attracted to him) or for him (to feel better about himself)?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 06:42 PM
17

You don’t have kids yet. Do not change your career path.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 04:36 PM
4

You can’t “get someone” to marry you. They have to want to on their own. You can get someone to not want to marry you by pressuring them before they’re ready though.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 01:52 AM
2

If your needs aren’t being met you can choose to stay or leave. But you’re not going to get this guy to want to marry you faster by pressuring him. It’s a good way to cause a breakup though.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 01:12 AM
5

There’s nothing to navigate. If someone isn’t moving on your timeline you have a choice - either wait or break up if it doesn’t meet your needs. You can’t force someone to do something they aren’t ready to do, and pressuring it will certainly move them further away than closer to, as it will be an indication of how you resolve conflict in the future. Also 6 months is very fast in American culture, so I suspect he’s not going to be too jazzed by the pressure you’re putting on him. Men want to buy…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:32 AM
3

And on top of saying the relationship was bland.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:31 AM
9

Please break it off with your current girlfriend. Unless she’s aware you’re not over your wife and ok with it, it’s so awful dating and committing yourself to someone who is still wishing to be with someone else. :(
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 01:58 PM
1

I think it depends on where in the conversation they give their number. If early on, I also hard pass on that. It means they expect me to put in more effort, and also I don’t want to give my number to a man I may never see or speak to again. That said, I usually handle with “I’d feel more comfortable chatting here, if that’s ok.” That gives them an opportunity to put in effort, show if they respect my boundaries, and reveal their intentions.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:01 PM
2

He kinda was - he said “now it’s me that’s the asshole for the affair” as if people shouldn’t think he’s an asshole, bc he’s really the victim here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 04:06 PM
1

It’s not because your affair was “found out” - you’re an asshole because you had an affair at all. People can be shitty. Get divorced instead. No excuses. No sympathy and of course you’re the asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 04:03 PM
-5

It doesn’t matter. People who ask are insecure. I would never share. And I’d look at any man who asked as inappropriate, insecure, and controlling. What’s happened in the past stays in the past, unless there’s something the person you’re with now needs to know. Or you’re like 22 years old.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/23 07:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter