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Ilovebooks189956 Archive

View 2 posts and 82 comments by Ilovebooks189956 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Well, I'm pretty sure I'm on the aro/ace spectrum so I can't speak on the sexual part, but generally, I never saw why people made relationships a big deal. I love my honey to death, but I don't really care if he cheats. I'll check out of the relationship emotionally before ending it so I can live life after, and just leave. Your partner should choose you in a room full of their options. Bro, my boyfriend's friends are literally so weird about my best friend who's a guy, that's how I came to know…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:33 PM
2

But from my POV the whole discourse around this just seems so “are the straights okay?” Like the complete disbelief that men and women can’t relate to or even like each other in a non-sexual way is already an expression of sexist cultural attitudes I mean I'm in my second straight relationship ever so this is a pretty accurate description of my mental state 🍔
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:21 PM
1

But your line of reasoning does not lead to your conclusion (which is that opposite gender friendships mostly drift apart after one or both the people in the friendship become committed). Why can I not use the word "prove" in this instance? Your answer said "they'll likely drift apart" and elaborated on why you think that is. I disagreed with you on both fronts. How can you classify it as wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:27 PM
1

A friendship with ambiguous boundaries cannot be considered healthy. Both these situations are mutually exclusive. In addition to that, a fun friendship doesn't have to be an unhealthy one. About the second part of your first argument, if someone is being given titles such as "insecure" or "controlling" for attempting to assert what they believe are healthy boundaries, it means one of two things: they are being gaslit or they are gaslighting a person with a back-bone. Determining which is which …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:54 AM
1

In the scenario you've presented, clearly there's a lack of boundaries, whereas my question was regarding the opposition to a healthy friendship between two people of the opposite gender (these kinds of friendships always have boundaries). I appreciate your opinion on the matter still!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:48 AM
-1

Right and said that they would have to stop, which would in turn change the friendship and cause distance. This was what I disagreed with and provided you with reasons why. And I agreed with that, but insinuating that it would cause the two people within the friendship to drift apart is wrong, as all long-term relationships in life do ultimately change, but that doesn't mean the people in the relationship drift apart. You provided a line of reasoning which led to your final conclusion, I am ques…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:38 AM
3

It's okayyy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:10 AM
0

Regardless of pill, what I have noticed is that most people who have an opposite sex best friend tend to drift apart a little bit once partnered. Like, it’s just a natural development even without input from the partner. Most people understand that trips, weekends away, sleepovers etc. with their opposite sex best friend is not really appropriate anymore once partnered. So, yes it can work but things will not be the same. Most people will put up new boundaries between them and their friend anywa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:06 AM
4

Dont hold your breath. Men who are like that are rare to non-existant. I already have him so don't worry about that Something else to consider u/Ilovebooks189956, even men who do have platonic female friends are doing it for an endgoal that most arent saying. That is a pretty heavy generalization you've stated. Do you have any studies to prove it? Because general observation will not suffice to prove a claim so big as that depends on where you live and the people you interact with most frequentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:51 AM
1

yupp
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 12:26 AM
1

I think you're conflating “natural” with “necessary.” Hierarchies existing in nature doesn’t mean they’re ideal for human relationships, in fact humans override natural impulses all the time through culture, ethics, and negotiation. Otherwise we’d justify all kinds of behaviors just because they occur in animals (such as unprompted violence). Also, I’m not arguing for exact sameness or perfect symmetry. Equality in relationships means neither partner is structurally above the other and leadershi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:54 AM
1

Cheating, my family, my best friends (I've got three, all of them must respect him and vice-versa), racism, casteism, ableism, homophobia, feminism, abuse of any kind, religion (I'm agnostic atheist for example, so he must not push his (or any) religion down my throat), my health (physical and mental), sex (nothing till marriage, he must understand this and not push it with me), pro-abortion (I don't plan on getting one cuz i don't plan on having sex anytime soon, but i'll support anyone who doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:02 AM
1

I already did. My values. Do you want me to go into specifics about what those values are?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:52 PM
1

But it's you who asked the hypothetical, so you an provide a hypothetical scenario. We've compromised on attending his family member's funeral and being there for my family member's high risk surgery, so it's safe to say we got nothing of the sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:32 PM
1

Such as what? Because for me and my boyfriend, there's nothing of the sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:24 PM
1

Nah, I'm saying I'm willing to have a converstation and compromise on anything but my values, and expect my partner to share that out-look with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:08 PM
2

Imagine clarifying AI usage (or lack thereof) from an AI lmao I've switched devices so obviously my quotations will appear different and this is just the way I speak (as someone who's first language is not English), but I won't spend my time proving something so stupid when I take this as more of a compliment on my english than anything. Let's end this interraction now then, have a good life :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 09:27 AM
1

I'm so sorry i js got notified abt this comment. Okay, so, my grandma was in the hospital (she raised me btw cuz both my parents worked a lot throughout my early childhood and began relaxing just when I was in my early-late teens so I've been more attached to her than anybody), and obviously I was in a tough place mentally (my bsf literally flew back from the state he lived in cuz he was afraid i'd kms or something). The day his mom's cremation wud happen (his mom passed away around that time to…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:26 AM
1

The second point is what I'm trying to say. I can adjust to ANYTHING but my values (assuming no form of abuse) and I expect the same from my partner therefore I'll marry someone (if at all) who is like-minded to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:07 AM
1

it's a joke, chill out No true matriarchies (defined as "Women holding dominant political, economic, and social power across society." by most scholars) have ever existed. It has either been Matrilineal (land was is controlled by women but men still lead politically and religiously) or Matrifocal (women are the center of family life but states and institutions remain male-dominated). However these existing societies neither show evidence of "wreaking havoc" historically nor presently. For exampl…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:59 AM
1

Obviously we aren't and the point I was making aimed to correct the assumption of single sexually reproducing animal species on the planet being patriarchal. The example lies with bonobos (an animal species humans are actually very closely related with). And if that is the standard for human behaviour, why not have human societies be matriarchal instead? (You answered this by saying nobody would last a week living like a bonobo or in any matriarchal society, I asked for the reason and you didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:48 PM
3

I would wager that it depends entirely on whose family that member was from. In cases such as this, both partners take charge, but only if the family member is not theirs (from general observation). Setting a boundary and expecting it to be followed is the bare minimum one can demand from a relationship, and this demand is gender neutral, just as stopping your partner from doing something harmful to them is. And preferring such people shows maturity (so it's not just limited to women).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:38 PM
1

U make da bet u deal w/ it's consequences brutha *Chimps (I js realized WE were the apes, the two animals we share the most DNA with (97%) are chimps and bonobos) and they operate under a patriarchy, not a matriarchy. Nope, if we adapted to and were provided the same environment as bonobos, we would've developed to be like them is what I meant to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:27 PM
3

And that will stop engagement from my side, I wish you the great rest of your life!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:40 PM
1

If you wanna bet on something, bet on your's brutha not mine Nobody's living like chimps either, now if you suggest a society and adapt the behaviour of bonobos instead of it's lifestyle, that's a different argument, and one to which I would ask why? Because I think we'd do pretty well for ourselves if we did.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:12 PM
4

If that works for you, it's awesome, but I see these "quiet power" things as imbalance and dangerous if everyone invloved isn't a good person, which is why I don't thik it should become the norm
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:09 PM
1

I was quoting u with the first one but forgot the quotaions mb " To be sexually/romantically attracted to a man, a woman -- generally speaking -- needs to look up to him. This naturally happens when the man is in a leadership role in the relationship."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:57 PM
1

No you cannot. It specifically says " the belief that some races of people are better than others" which indicates a feeling of superiority.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:50 PM
2

I'm not making anything into a debate, js sharing my perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:47 PM
4

You have said yourself, and I quote "The point is that if the woman actually loves you, she's going to be naturally submissive and cooperative" (you have equated submissiveness to "real" love yourself so I'd highly argue I was straw-manning). And due to this being a discussion about why relationships need to be male-led and not one about women's toxicity in relationships,I'm unsure as to how that last sentence is at all relevant if you aren't trying to equate non-submissiveness to toxicity. I wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:42 PM
1

"the unfair treatment of people who belong to a different race, or the belief that some races of people are better than others is defined as racism" (according to Oxford Learner's dictionary). I've already dealt with that second point if you scroll further back a couple hours ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:31 PM
1

Do you understand what racism is? At all? Racism is the belief or behavior that treats people differently (usually worse) because of their race or ethnicity, based on the idea that some races are naturally superior or inferior. You believe a person will prefer someone from their own community, and I agree (because THAT is evolutionary), but it doesn't justify thinking of persons from other communities as inferior. It's not evolutionary to do (I won't explain why twice, look at my previous reply …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:24 AM
1

I've seen plenty of romantic relationships which are both cooperative and hierarchical. Those relationships are consentually heirarchal relationships and cannot be called co-operative (as the latter implies shared agency and mutual decision making power which is not provided in such a relationship). Agreed, I'm looking at relationships in reality -- not the fantasy relationships of the liars and larpers of Reddit. Real relationships of a very limited world view, you mean. Those observations were…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:06 AM
1

Yessss exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 09:36 AM
2

nope, they js hv respect for their partner (I'm under the assumption we're speaking abt finding your partner or someone like that romantically appealing, if it's a question of pure sex, the OP of that comment is still wrong, I exist :))
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 09:30 AM
1

1) My counter would be three things: i) Early humans benefitted massively from pattern recognition, yes, but intergroup bias was helpful in some evironments but was not universally dominant. Humans also developed: trade between tribes, alliances, intermarriage and cultural exchange. ii) Race in itself evolved much later. Humans interracted with eachother at clan/tribe level, not skin-colour or continental characteristics. Evolution may have selected a fimiliarity bias, but racism needs cultural …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 02:34 AM
3

If two people fundamentally disagree on values and principles, the relationship should not continue period, and no partner should be permitted to take a lead in such things
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:09 AM
3

I choose letting go then (and yeah, putting your wishes before your partner's is a sacrifice and if it's something based on moving or financial problems, it's okayyy but if we're having a discussion abt my core values and he disagress, it's over, simple).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:34 PM
2

ok
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:28 PM
4

Your original claim was that evolutionary behaviour means it's inevitable, your defense against my counter doesn't shifts from your orignal argument. Regarding what? But technological and social advancements are interlinked (it depends on education institutional access gender autonomy and public health systems heavily) so the attempt at separating them is fruitless Taking an increase in the number of single mothers as proof of an unstable society ignores a ton of context. The reason for this inc…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:26 PM
3

Uhhh is that supposed an insult orrrrr-
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:59 PM
4

Ohhh i thought you aimed the last line at me personally
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:58 PM
4

uhhh you talking to me? Cuz i never said this??
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:56 PM
4

But why is that the default before a converstation? And why does the decision of one person have to go always? Both of us can sacrifice for the other, so why always me, a girl?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:55 PM
3

i'm taken, thanks and appealing to animal dominance structures doesn’t translate cleanly to human relationships, because humans regulate many natural impulses through culture, ethics, and communication rather than modeling behavior directly on nature. The fact that hierarchies exist in animals doesn’t make them inherently ideal for modern human dynamics, especially since cooperation, emotional intelligence, and negotiated norms often prevent conflict just as effectively as dominance. Using fish …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:52 PM
7

Not being submissive is toxic now? That's news to me I must say.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:47 PM
4

Debate is defined as a structured exchange where people argue opposing positions to defend a viewpoint, a discussion is defined as an open exchange of ideas aimed at understanding, not necessarily winning and an argument is defined as a set of reasons or evidence used to support a claim or in the context we're using it in, a heated disagreement or conflict between people, do you see how these words are entirely different now? And it's not little if it impacts the two people in the relationship e…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:45 PM
1

Yup! And once again, even in your scenario, I have already provided an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:38 PM
7

I'm in a very happy relationship as a person with an extreme dislike of authority when unjustified, thank you for your advice tho :) And this defense does not hold up if we remove the overgeneralization of women, their behaviour and their wishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:37 PM
7

Cannibalism is evolutionary too, yet it happens so little it's nonexistent, but racism is much more large scale, why? Because it's preserved in society. Regardless I asked you to explain how different social structures fail miserably. Okay, let's provide you the metric of a result. Societies saw large drops in maternal mortality and child mortality as women gained education, healthcare access, and reproductive autonomy. Female literacy and school enrollment rose dramatically worldwide, which is …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:34 PM
9

legit the mentality of so many people oml (and the amount of misogynistic essays here are genuinely giving me a headache lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:08 PM
1

And where are you getting that from? Personal observation? Regardless I adressed that scenario as well in original comment, second point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:07 PM
6

atleast you managed to put in the hard work, that's the most important!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:57 PM
3

Humans are closely tied to bonobos (who live in a matriarchy) and apes (who live in a patriarchy). So what do you suggest? We live in a matriarchy?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:56 PM
1

I'm not saying physical force difference, i'm talking about a physical training difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:47 PM
5

Oh yeah forgot about that, my bad. My opinion is that if governments completely stopped intervening in relationships or marriages, it would likely become more of a cultural or emotional commitment rather than a legal institution. Without tax benefits, legal protections, or formal frameworks for things like inheritance, custody, and asset division, fewer people would marry for practical reasons and more would rely on informal partnerships. However, removing state involvement would also create maj…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:46 PM
10

Racism survived the test of time, preserving it is still not justified. Explain how I think that depends a lot on what metrics we use. Modern societies have seen both improvements and new challenges. In many areas like health, education, and legal rights there have been clear gains, even if other areas have become more complex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:41 PM
3

A romantic relationship, yeah. The key words here are your general experiences, which are not universal. Simple observation only studies a small group, one so small it cannot be presented as data and definitely can't be used to generalize women's behaviour patterns.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:35 PM
2

The partner trained to fight more physically, which is more often the man due to parents not teaching their daughters fighting in mostly in order to uphold gender norms, you mean. Regardless, men are socially expected to carry physical labour and offer protection while women are expected to carry the emotional and domestic labour, which balances their contributions out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:31 PM
5

They don't intervene as is unless a partner involved is in danger or there's a divorce (involving or without involving children). If that stopped it would be dangerous to enter relationships and marriages.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:26 PM
5

Submissiveness and co-operation depends heavily on the woman's personality. If she's opinionated and strong-willed, for example, it's unfair to expect her to submerge or act in a way separate from her normal behaviour simply because she's in a relationship, it's not about love.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:24 PM
5

I agree that behavior can offer useful signals, but the step from consumption to underlying preference is still not straightforward. People consume media for many reasons beyond endorsement, including novelty, emotional intensity, and cultural momentum. Market success often amplifies extreme or attention-grabbing narratives rather than measuring baseline preferences in a clean way. Even in marketing research, consumer behavior is treated as a noisy signal shaped by feedback loops and availabilit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:21 PM
5

Provide me with stats for the second point then, because most is a heavily generalizing term and shouldn't be used if there's no stats to back it. but responsibility IS shared. That's the point I'm trying to put across. And because it is shared more often than not, both partners get shared authority.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:16 PM
12

They don't agree on everything, but in a healthy relationship they would reach a compromise both of them feel satisfied with after a converstation. Arguments are inevitable in a long relationship and a heiarchy can't prevent that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:13 PM
8

I don't have an AI buddy, I'm actually very much against the usage of generative AI, I just had a ton of energy I used into speaking formally so tysm for that lol I view a relationship as a beautiful overlap of familial connection and a deep friendship, neither of which require a "leader" or require polarity. There also needs to be level of respect for a woman's strength and determination, because this is a common courtsey you show your partner and it goes both ways. Considering her someone infe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:03 PM
5

Thank goodness, I'm proud of you stranger <3
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:52 PM
6

If you're saying partners should lead at what they're good at, it's a unique perspective to see things, but my question was more so about the man being regarded as the leader of the relationship, when a relationship invloves and directly effects two people (mostly).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:51 PM
11

That's depends on individual, you can't tie a behavioural trait to a gender, and regardless, you don't get to make that decision for women, let them decide on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:47 PM
4

I think both approaches are not equally reliable. Even imperfect studies attempt to quantify behavior across large samples, which allows us to observe aggregate patterns rather than isolated anecdotes. Media consumption is a much noisier signal. Romantic media is shaped by industry incentives and longstanding cultural tropes, which means it is not a neutral dataset of preferences. People also consume media within constraints. If most available narratives are skewed in certain ways, consumption d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:44 PM
8

I'm glad you got out of that environment atleast...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:09 PM
5

If that works for them then it's awesome!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:08 PM
17

I think the argument depends heavily on a few assumptions that are not necessarily universal. First, the idea that responsibility always requires singular authority is debatable. In many real-world dynamics, people share responsibility without one person having final decision-making power. Second, the claim that most consequences fall on men seems context-dependent rather than universal. In many modern relationships, responsibilities and consequences are distributed in more complex ways. If both…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:04 PM
10

It’s fair that social science has limitations, but that applies broadly to research on human behavior, not just findings we disagree with. If we treat the entire field as too biased to consider, then it becomes hard to justify strong claims about human preferences at all, including biological ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:03 PM
11

I've never known a man attracted to a woman he looks down on either, it goes both ways, to be attracted to someone you must hold some respect for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:01 PM
14

I think what stands out to me is the idea of “apparent democracy.” A dynamic where one person has quiet veto power might feel stable to some people, but it also raises questions about transparency and mutual agency. Personally, I tend to see long-term relationships as strongest when power structures are explicit and genuinely shared rather than asymmetrical beneath the surface.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:58 PM
10

I think historical explanations can help us understand why certain norms emerged, but they do not automatically justify preserving them. Many social structures existed under very different economic and legal conditions. If those underlying conditions have changed, it makes sense to ask whether the same structures are still necessary rather than assuming historical persistence equals present necessity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:50 PM
8

Reducing women’s preferences to a “lizard brain” feels more dismissive than analytical. If we are talking about human behavior, it probably makes more sense to engage with evidence and variation rather than reducing half the population to instinct alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:47 PM
14

I think there are a few assumptions here that are worth questioning. First, the idea that attraction requires looking up to someone does not seem universal. People are attracted to many things like intelligence, humor, emotional depth, or shared values, and those do not necessarily create a hierarchical dynamic Second, the idea that women avoid responsibility is not strongly supported by research. A large body of work on gender and decision-making points more toward differences in risk perceptio…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:44 PM
3

I think there are two different claims here that might be getting blended together. One is that some women may be attracted to traits like confidence or leadership. Even if that is sometimes true, attraction to certain traits does not automatically mean people want a built-in hierarchy in their relationship. Being drawn to confidence is not the same as wanting unequal authority. The second claim is the kitchen example, which seems to frame leadership as gendered by domain. That implies male lead…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:25 PM
13

A lot of human impulses exist that we do not treat as ideals. If people crave power, does that mean healthy relationships should be structured around power dynamics, or should they try to move beyond them
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:20 PM
12

That actually makes a lot of sense. If someone grows up seeing hierarchy used in a controlling way, it makes sense they would associate relationships with imbalance. I think that is part of why I question the “someone has to lead” idea. If leadership becomes a trump card that overrides the other person’s voice, it stops being partnership. Maybe a lot of this debate comes down to what models of relationships people grew up seeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:19 PM
24

I think the part I struggle with is the assumption that leadership has to be fixed and gendered. Why should a healthy relationship require one permanent captain at all In a lot of strong partnerships, leadership shifts depending on context. One person might lead in some areas and the other in different ones If both people are capable adults, why is a built-in hierarchy necessary instead of situational leadership
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:17 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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