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Important-Stable-842 Archive

View 0 posts and 79 comments by Important-Stable-842 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

a lot of people are in dysfunctional relationships and cannot emotionally regulate properly. the shit that happens behind closed doors is unreal, I think the main notable thing is that you're seeing it happen in public. I think it is probably a bit more socially acceptable for a woman to chew out her male partner in public than vice versa because the latter is seen as closer to DV, but you will see a lot of bidirectional tension generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:27 PM
2

I'll try this again, tried it in another thread but didn't get anywhere. When people notice sexually successful men being assholes and claim that "asshole -> socially successful", they are getting the correlation scrambled. Since they have access to women, they stand to benefit more from sexist attitudes and abusive behaviour, and will actually have a platform to meaningfully act on them. Their vibe and reputation makes it easier (would even say possible) to get away with, as well. As much as pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 12:16 PM
1

evidence to support what? that there are a lot of abusive/manipulative men out there? that most men are neurotypical and that it's not the case that virtually every ND man is abusive to make up the numbers (which still comes nowhere near to cutting it lol)? generally it helps for mutual understanding to answer questions I ask. the underlying point is that normal, socially-confirming (I use neurotypical as shorthand), easy to get along with and conventionally attractive men (which you can package…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:49 AM
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true for most websites tbh. even YouTube's search is a bit wonky sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:41 PM
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it would be unfair to expect anything less from this highly esteemed forum
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:40 PM
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thank you! that means a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:46 PM
2

not many? minority of the population? what's your point here, could you highlight what you're disagreeing with? if you claim that men are often manipulative or abusive you claim that neurotypical men are often manipulative or abusive because most men are neurotypical and broadly normal. if you contest that there are many manipulative or abusive men out there, we don't have a common baseline to start on
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:28 PM
1

what? how many neurodiverse men do you think there are? look at the statistics and the lived experience, are there enough neurodiverse men to cause that? neurodiverse men generally find it more difficult to find victims for manipulation or abuse. if we can't start on that common ground I have absolutely no idea what to say i'm directing more towards neurotypical/normal because that's actually what's going on here. "hot" is socially defined and often connotes rough aesthetic normality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:26 PM
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she was very empathetic, i wouldn't think she had any other reaction. honestly i cannot fit what people claim to be the case onto my life at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:24 PM
1

what do you mean? it benefitting them or them getting away with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:09 PM
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thanks! as a ps, emphasised female because I saw a post on Reddit earlier that "female therapists would never understand". this woman has various items of feminist literature in her office. Idk if everyone is just American and things are just nuts over there or what. or if they expressed things differently to me
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:21 PM
1

this sounds underdeveloped. Hot (edit, read: normal/NT) men are often manipulative/abusive ("assholes") because it benefits them and they can get away with it. If what they did didn't work and they were ostracised by their male associates, unsuccessful, etc., then some proportion of them would change tack. maybe not becoming "good", but at least masking or re-articulating their bad traits more. being manipulative and being good at playing social situations helps a lot in itself too, obviously. R…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:18 PM
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tl;dr no and it doesn't matter in practice. in my mind redpill = your Tate/PUA types, looking to exploit relationship landscape for own gain, blue-pill = pro accepting status quo as-is and anti-gaming it, purple-pill = does not identify with status quo. I read that the blackpill is closer to the blue-pill than the red-pill and I agree for reasons I can't easily articulate. they're banned here anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:13 PM
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Whatever floats your boat. I understand the feeling of validation, but beyond that the experience is worse than sex in a committed relationship unless you have issues with emotional avoidance. It's possible that if you did get the validation you'd start poking holes in how it happened, maybe the girl wasn't very hot, maybe it was "too easy" and she'd have had sex with anyone. Or now it's been x long since you've last had casual sex so the validation is starting to fade. It probably won't be a on…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:03 PM
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Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're socially awkward and haven't got some of the mechanics of conversations/escalation/etc. then having frequent casual sex, unless you're part of some niche community, is probably quite far away at the moment. Maybe you'll find some people but it'll be a very high degree of luck and I wouldn't burn that luck on meaningless casual sex personally. "Getting" casual sex is on the extreme end of a spectrum which genuinely socially awkward people definitionall…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:55 PM
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sorry, not quite sure what you mean? do you mean you're not mentally equipped to succeed but have the external things? not being ugly or short are neither necessary or sufficient for a relationship. for casual sex, yeah sure, physically. but you have to be very good with people who are essentially randos. unless you get on easily with a lot of people and can slide into flirting easily, manage escalation well, etc. casual in the frequency that people talk about it online will be quite hard. i wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:47 PM
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is "everything you need to succeed" in your mind not being ugly or short? don't want to sound flippant but i think that's an important clarification
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:43 PM
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finally told (female) counsellor about my dissatisfaction being single (has been years of not saying this) and the way she responded was great. didn't flip the table and call me an incel. also my mentally ill roommate has moved out to be looked after by family and now my living situation is way more peaceful. feels good.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:30 PM
1

Only 53%? That's even lower than I thought lol. Most of the people who you are describing would identify as feminist. Also, it's easy to go insane by overthinking. If a woman actively invites you to be around her, trusts you with sensitive information, and seems to enjoy your presence, she probably enjoys your presence. It's usually obvious if a woman doesn't want to be around you, the men who don't know are either oblivious (maybe nd idk) or lying. If anything, telling women that they don't kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 07:48 PM
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i often unironically feel that only talking about men doing a certain thing will cement the idea that only men do that thing, and I would want to balance that explicitly because I'm just a throwaway account on a fringe subreddit. I think people really miss the forest for the trees by doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 02:05 PM
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my feeling is that they feel accused and are defending themselves, just like when women react like this. example I've seen is when a guy was talking about the expectation of being an emotional rock and having done a lot of unreciprocated emotional labour for female partners, and a woman or women in the comments saying that she felt insulted because she spent many hours awake late at night counselling a depressed male partner while she received very little emotional labour in return. neither real…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:52 PM
1

I've not lied to her. We've not directly discussed my inceldom. Our sessions mostly focus on my depression, ADHD, Schizoid Personality Disorder, lack of self, emotional numbness, etc. I've talked about my negative experiences with women and she's agreed that from my point they sound like bad experiences. I specifically wanted a woman because I find it more difficult to open up to men. That seems like a large part of your troubles omitted, but I'm not you and I'm not a professional. And my own ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:22 PM
1

Well, there's nothing really to argue against in this comment. The things he said don't follow from "men are increasingly failing to find relationships". I am familiar with "comphet". It's more usually used to describe lesbians or gay people who are pressured into heterosexual relationships. I guess you could describe the behaviour of women described as comphet but it's not really the typical meaning of the phrase. I have seen no evidence of this turmoil, only people espousing these ideas then g…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:14 PM
1

the hook is to the figure on benevolent sexism but yeah sure scrolling down I guess there's another figure below it. I've tried to have a principle against making other people's points for them so if there's no explanation I personally just read the bit they linked. Again, I wouldn't bother jumping through hoops for someone who literally just gives you a link without explanation or context and tells you to figure it out. For the second, you're firstly saying "more often" or "more likely" means =…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:34 PM
1

The figure they quoted was about "benevolent sexism" (which most people don't care much about - think "women and children first", "women are wonderful" type things) being positive correlated with relationship status so there is not really a point there. There looks to be stuff about hostile sexism in the pdf but I wouldn't bother making their point for them, I assume at that point they haven't really read what they're sending. I can't do anything with the claim that "'sexually successful' men ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:29 PM
9

you can't just destroy the subreddit and click "comment" lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:20 PM
5

these links do not say what you say they do, I'm not sure I can bothered to reply further since I tend to find such exchanges are a complete waste of time. If you can find a link from a redpiller that verbatim says to stop dating attractive men because they are evil, I will give you reddit gold or something. It's not consistent with their ideology at all. They respond to this fact by becoming the dickhead, not by saying that women should date someone who redpill ideology would say is a low-value…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:14 PM
1

not really what I said - I associate redpill with misogynists that are more socially popular and blackpill with misogynists that are unpopular. That might just be my view on it. There are exceptions on both sides. I still think the characterisation in your post was just a bit odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:04 PM
2

I don't know what I'm meant to get from this. "Redpill" to me is more specific than misogynist, in fact redpillers are often romantically "successful" (in the sense that they have relationships). The people who can't get dates at all and mope in the sidelines about how it's unfair they were born this way I would consider to be incel or blackpill. A redpiller would probably say "they go for the most aggressive men, so be the aggressive man". They probably wouldn't say or think it's bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:54 PM
4

I think it's a deep evolutionary thing, I can't lie. We have a lot of trust in social consensus, and we see a lack of romantic partner or friends as a societal consensus of them. Don't think there's any more to it. You see this in partner selection as well, people (men and women) often select partners on the basis of broad acceptability and alignment with beauty norms (by looking for partners their friends would approve of) rather than personal preference per se. I think the main missing ingredi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:39 PM
2

as a BPer I think that characterization is bizarre. redpillers fetishise traditional masculinity and unrealistically attractive men. I have never heard that sentiment from an RPer. I think you're thinking more of incels/niceguys who might say something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:37 PM
2

Are you actually fully honest with your therapist? Does she push back more than you're letting on? I really doubt a professional would hear all this and be like "yeah makes sense" unless they were borderline abusive. Maybe she has a particular vision. I note that she is a woman and wonder what you think of that. Nothing about what you say is unbelievable, but it's verbal cancer (as the blackpill always is) running from the mouth of someone who is unwell. It is not the output of someone who is me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 01:13 PM
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not showing interest in me and just verbal diarrheaing until they get bored. Being insufferably righteous about an ideology they don't embody. any degree of consideration for others. Honestly that removes the worst people I know right now. I want friends and partnres who are emotionally regulated and have good systems for emotional support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 12:06 PM
2

I agree, people shouldn't reward behaviour they dislike, and should encourage behaviour they like with a positive reaction. We are just over-evolved monkeys. If you do a dance and our partners and friends laugh and throw you a banana, you'll keep dancing. If friends and partners boo a dance and take away your banana, you will stop doing the dance. It seems nonsense to say "well, you should be setting a trend doing the new dance regardless if people like it or not, you shouldn't just be dancing f…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 11:56 AM
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very few of my feminist friends have been mean IRL. I've seen mutual friends be pretty nasty online but I have never encountered them. for all the flack lesbians sometimes catch for this, the lesbians I know have been the nicest women I've ever met. the most misandrist women are usually straight/bi and actively date men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 11:39 AM
0

i think maybe ugly -> very attractive is a stretch, could you not see "doesn't stand out" converting to "attractive"?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 06:07 PM
1

fair enough haha Have you found that conversations about sexual past come up often like that? I would never really find the need to ask but i think i'm the minority and don't think it "should" matter or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:22 PM
2

idk, i don't really anticipate having this much info about their past before I'm "bought in" enough for it to not matter. I'm not really sure how I'd feel. Maybe she changed her mind about casual sex
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:57 PM
1

I'm not into casual sex at all so I wouldn't care personally, and I'm someone who doesn't really have broad-stroke appeal so I'm expecting not expecting it to be first sight (could be, but doubt it).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:46 PM
2

because the sentiment might not be that, but if you say something like "I'd never have had casual sex with you, but I would've dated you" and then get very flustered (as in a reddit thread I remember) you sort of back yourself into a corner. I don't understand how this has even come up more than once, maybe their partner is internetbrained and asked. again i'm sure there's people who react similarly regardless
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:27 PM
1

yeah that's a different thing to what I was thinking of
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:25 PM
2

yeah I don't have any problem with that and don't think you were in the wrong there
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:22 PM
3

well I'd presume you've seen people talk about having said this to their partners (or having it said to them by their partner), I'm guessing you didn't really have this thought?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:19 PM
7

uh I don't know, odd question And honestly I'm recalling a PPD thread from years ago, unfortunately I don't document these things. It was something like "I'd never have had casual sex with you, but I would date you" and then didn't explain it very well when their partner got upset, then went on Reddit not really seeming to understand what went wrong. I've definitely had this thought more than once reading these stories, it comes up surprising often. I don't know if explaining it properly would h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:16 PM
4

A thing I do want to say is that when women I've seen on Reddit have tried to communicate "I wouldn't have an ONS with you, but would date you", they seemingly pick the most cack-handed way to say it and end up saying something that does actually sound like "you're ugly but you're a nice guy". and one case I remember seemed to just double down and make it worse for herself. I know this is how a lot of men interpret the sentiment like that anyway, but some of the ways I've seen it said do sort of…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:09 PM
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Thanks, spent a while doing my best The Thinker impersonation cooking that one up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:31 PM
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Do you vet close friends? I'd say some red flags are: Being inconsiderate Crossing boundaries, even if this is in trivial or minor ways Being disliked by others or having a lot of stories of conflict with others Bad emotional regulation "Things you're not supposed to talk about", e.g. if they do or say something bad and you're supposed to act like it's never happened Waiting until marriage for sex will put you in the margins nowadays but you're free to do it. You really need to read between the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:24 PM
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i think I, the centre of the universe, have it the worst. since I'm a man I guess that means men
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:22 PM
1

Emotional labour is a legit concept. I think it's characteristic of emotional difficulties and/or immaturity, which may be correlated with gender, but I've seen and currently live with a woman with this kind of difficulty. Specifically, you are assigning mental tasks that are really your responsibility to someone else, sometimes with an air of entitlement that you're allowed to do this, and this has implications as to the power dynamic between you two. Really, what fucks me is not the mental tas…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 01:03 PM
1

No sorry I was being a bit handwavy. I'm saying that many women (and people in general) adopt a minimal ideology by not rejecting gender norms, but selectively removing the stuff that doesn't benefit them (e.g. for a man, providing, for a woman, limited agency) while maintaining things that are to their benefit (e.g. for a man, the right to be their wife's firsts and for a woman, having the relationship centred around them in a lot of ways [with courting etc. mostly the man's responsibility]). T…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 12:49 PM
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what does pseudo-therapist mean here. language model? "sub"-therapist counsellor?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:00 AM
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that'll do it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 01:51 AM
6

ah yeah idk if that's misogyny per se but it's definitely just world and flipping it back on the complainer. I know what you mean that them saying "well maybe YOU should pick better" makes it seem like they've done something wrong. just world is everywhere and pretty gnarly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 12:23 AM
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I feel you, this is why I'm very pro slow-burn rather than the speedy spark-based dating people go through nowadays. You can now think what to do differently next time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:14 PM
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sounds like cold feet
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:07 PM
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if it has come on suddenly it might just be her being distracted but if it has been a slow fade then yes, probably. these things happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:59 PM
3

could you give an example of this. I would agree that anyone who denigrates a woman for being seduced by toxic people is being sexist or otherwise unpleasant. A true white knight would defend her as a victim of internalised misogyny. People do "stupid" things for very "complicated" reasons and I don't think saying someone is bad for "falling for" manipulation techniques is very fair. I do agree that most people align with the red-pill. The fact that everyone talks about attractiveness as one of …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:56 PM
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glad to see PPD is as slurred as ever. always try to stay off but I'm still unhappily single and need to let off some steam. probably just got ghosted by someone who I was exchanging paragraphs with in Discord DMs. have a housemate who I'm actively uncomfortable around and thinking about moving out. doing good, I have clearly made good life decisions to get to this point and be posting on ppd about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:47 PM
1

most people adopt the minimal ideology to validate their actions and no more. it's both true that most women don't want to be abused in a relationship and true that many will still seek or appreciate a traditional relationship structure. true that many men will want to split the bill 50/50 but still desire a virgin woman. just is what it is. this is because ideology is basically an emotional reaction to your life position and not reasoned. this is why "reasons" are sometimes not really shaped li…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:36 PM
3

In the sense that people highly inherit good upbringing, good mental health, stable family environment, competent social conditioning, sort of? Money is different because it carries risk, if anything sex and relationships are easier: if you have the "right" foundations (and arguably right dysfunctions) then the odds are definitely in your favour to be romantically successful. most adults are, at some point. a lot of people out there just need to live their life the way they usually would and the…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:36 PM
3

Might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure if you said it out loud how someone would usually say those statements out loud there'd be an edge of frustration/anger/overall negative feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:23 PM
2

I know it's supposed to be flippant, but I do need to say that I don't think the solution to "I cannot find consensual sex" is "pay to maybe rape a probably trafficked woman".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:22 PM
3

It's very hard to extract tone out of text, but the bolded in "Become a man that women actually want to fuck. Thats my response" and "Seems easy enough for the men that actually get fucked" do it for me. Even the word "fuck" used here is non-neutral to me, being angry or charged.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:16 PM
6

With 2, I'd point out that the "blame", "demand" or "attack" is embedded into framing it as a complaint. I don't think most bps would believe it is possible to complain (as in gah this is so unfair) without doing those things, but it might be possible to express grief over it (as in I'm very disappointed this hasn't been my experience, what do I do to make the situation better). You complain to the waiter that your meal is overcooked or you complain that your train is late. You express grief/gui…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:11 PM
7

I can't fit this exactly to the context of the conversation, but having some kind of resentment (sometimes utter fury, outside this thread) towards a stranger and then spending a significant chunk of your day arguing with them is not really neutrality. Sorry to hear about everything else in the post and that this has been your life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:08 PM
6

because it is - but the way they are is a result of 20-odd years (assuming this is a young person) of particular experiences (being socially accepted, considered normal and socially conditioned to be, and popular, having room for making mistakes at a young age) and the people who can't "get fucked" are a result of 20-odd years of probably pretty different experience (not being socially accepted, not being considered normal or falling below social conditioning, not being popular, not having the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:51 PM
4

well yeah of course, I am on this weird sub lamenting (whenever I'm here, it's an emotional self harm of sorts) and I'm still trying to engage with therapists and the like without measurable progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:48 PM
5

this doesn't seem like a very positive turn, but i wish you all the best. hope you figure this out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:37 PM
4

well, it's good you have that insight. I can't agree with the extreme reaction though, surely you can still see benefits to being a good person that aren't finding a romantic partner? for me it truly eats me inside that people ostensibly think I'm great, yet I haven't been able to find a partner for about 4.5 years (a fairly significant proportion of my adulthood at this point). then they look at me like I'm bonkers as I desperately search for things wrong with me and micro-analyse social intera…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:05 PM
1

not much I can do with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:02 PM
10

seems like a good reason for a person to be insecure, even desperate
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:39 PM
2

Maybe? It's certainly less ordinary to start random fights as adults with the threat of arrest looming; usually fights as adults are preceded by some kind of argument, disagreement, confrontation etc. But that can probably be said for kids as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:34 PM
14

I don't think it's as likely that an adult who hasn't done anything wrong would be virgin-shamed, however ideas about lack of sexual success fairly often come up if someone is looking for a way to hurt someone. Just like ideas about "small dick energy" come up when looking to insult people - e.g. retroactively joking about a shitty ex's size. This makes you think whether they actually look down on inexperienced people or they are just saying things. Are they talking about sexual success because …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:24 PM
1

I would guess what you are observing is that women are more likely to hold opinions back and strategise to 1) avoid destroying connections or social repercussions or 2) not draw unnecessary divide where a man might be more likely to go head first regardless of the consequences. At the very least I get the impression that socially conservative women can be more shrewd than socially conservative men in this sense. Sometimes this gives the impression of consensus when they entirely disagree. I'm ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:15 PM
1

Viewing sex as a reward fosters attitudes that you would accuse of entitlement. They behave in a way they feel ought to be rewarded (which is internally true, probably) and then aren't. Discontent results which will be cast as entitlement. It's best to not even entertain this idea, even removing the negative consequences of believing it, it's clearly just not true that sex is about rewarding good people or good behaviours.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 01:10 AM
5

mistook a 27 year old woman for an 18 year old once. that's all I have to say about this topic
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 06:14 PM
2

i think this is difficult to claim considering how much beauty standards weigh on people, even if the "caring about what men think" is a few layers of abstraction away and isn't in the same sense insinuated by other posters.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 04:26 PM
0

People will only view your virginity as a bad thing if they already don't like you. I don't really like this tension though - I see people pick on certain far-right people for essentially neurodivergent traits and get very uncomfortable (I had to cut a friend off who was a Nazi and someone went on a rant to me about how he was "weird", explicitly referring to many of his autistic traits which didn't hurt anyone in any serious way beyond making them slightly uneasy - it really felt like the racis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 08:15 PM
1

I do wish people were more honest about when they are submitting to social pressure. Not doing so obfuscates and gives plausible deniability to the social pressure. So kudos to this. The main reason I'd want to "look good", beyond just not looking bad, would be to be attractive, and that would be virtually 100% of the reason. As long as I am healthy, hygienic and vaguely presentable, I don't care nor really think about my appearance unless it's made to be a "problem".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 07:53 PM
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