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ImportantArm9722 Archive

View 1 posts and 32 comments by ImportantArm9722 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

ImportantArm9722/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 12:49 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Likewise sir. We will get through this!
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 11:53 AM
2

You are not alone! My ex decided she didn't want to be married while I was trying to get my business off the ground. It was all planned out as we had a lot of cash saved (bootstrapping it myself) but it counted on her cutting down on the spending (she spent A LOT) and contributing a little more to the household financials (she only worked 3 days a week but her money was always "fun money"). She did neither BTW. The divorce + trying to live on my own in an expensive area without real income (I so…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 04:16 PM
6

I tend to agree with this type of thinking but everyone slips at some point and despite 4-5 years of her never worrying about anything (money or responsibility wise) & only working 2-3 days a week.... 3 months of me having a hard time was all it took for the ex to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:58 PM
39

You mean bust my ass for years to build a good life for myself just to marry someone's broken daughter with unresolved childhood trauma who just wants to be "taken care of" after partying and banging 100 dudes for most of their life till now.? F that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:50 PM
1

I am 38 and as long as the girl is over 18-23 (too much like kids/too immature).... I send it. I haven't dated anyone less than 4yrs younger and most are 10-14 years younger. Being super fit and relatively successful helps. That said when I am ready for a real long-term relationship I'm scared that means dating closer to my age.... but we shall see. In my case the personality of the 35+ females is more attractive than the 25yr olds but.... everything else is more attractive on the 25 yr old one …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 06:07 PM
1

Been there. Done that. See ya at the gym bro!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:47 PM
5

I second this. Replying only to add... I was initially like you (ex was a smokeshow).. but after therapy and a lot of self reflection.... I've decided to aim for the peaceful 7 over the 10/10 everyone is chasing. I believe the "I've always been pretty" and "I can get any man I want" and "a random guy said he'd fly me to Dubai for the week... obviously I said no but... how cool?" .. that kinda stuff makes it so they feel free to bounce at any potential inconvenience because there are 100 other du…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:16 PM
11

Curious on your ages (both you and partners) - as a 38yr old male going through a divorce the timeline on my potential for finding a quality woman is my primary fear... regardless the success story helps to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 07:53 PM
3

I needed to hear this today so thank you. Sometimes I have to remind myself to be easier on myself for not already being where I want to be (and I'm only 6 months in). As for the fit.... I almost exclusively wear vuori and/or cuts t-shirts ... shorts/pants are extremely subjective but as a muscular guy those 2 brands are the most flattering while being very comfy (at least for me). State and liberty is another good brand for fit guys looking for good fitting nice clothes that don't hide all your…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 11:01 PM
9

I used to think like this.... then I realized her walking away without a fight was almost as much of a betrayal as cheating. Knowing I would never have put her through what she put me through... knowing what those vows meant to me but accepting her vows were merely words. This realization helped me at least....
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 05:15 PM
3

Feels like I could've written this. It's a struggle man but it takes 2 to tango and if she wasn't willing to work on things then there's no reason to want her back now. Also... 40 is the new 30. I'm 38 and I unknowingly picked up a girl the other night at a bar and made the mistake of asking about her work... she was in college... and not grad school. Those girls are a little too immature to me as far as actual dating is concerned... but it was still a nice boost of confidence. Focus on yourself…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:43 PM
2

That's how it was for me too sir.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 07:39 PM
7

Putting in the work. Taking accountability. Being self reflective. Considering their partners needs/wants/expectations with equal care to their own. These are all harder challenges than running away and it seems like more and more that's what women are choosing to do. Ironically most of us men would've fought to the ends of the earth to keep our family together.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 03:52 PM
1

To be honest my experience was the complete opposite. She decided she was done and refused therapy.. or even attempting to communicate about the relationship.. and I have a feeling most guys here would have done everything possible to keep their families together. If not ... We probably wouldn't have a reddit about how divorce is tough for guys. My divorce pushed me to go into therapy for myself. I would be willing to bet she would never be self reflective enough to consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 04:47 PM
2

Thank you for the suggestion! I had no idea that was even a thing down here so I'll 100% look into it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 10:06 PM
1

Good question. Right now I am in Miami, FL (south beach specifically)... so I KNOW there are a lot of options here but I just can't think of anything that really excites me... hence the thread...
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:41 PM
1

I hadn't considered that but... it's not a bad idea. I really wouldn't want to go "back to school" at this point in my life but I have always wanted to learn how to code... I'm sure there are solid online classes for that these days. Thank you for the idea!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:16 PM
1

Unfortunately there's only so much time/effort I can put into them before diminishing returns really kick in. They will continue to scale/grow but additional time/effort won't dramatically change the pace... though I guess even with diminishing returns it's better pushing that than doing nothing or watching TV mindlessly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:14 PM
1

Isn't golf an expensive hobby? I've never played as I've always preferred contact sports but given that might not be a real option... I'll look into it. Good suggestion!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:12 PM
1

It is comforting to know it's not just me. Though that doesn't help answer the question we all have lol.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:12 PM
2

Group trip? I'm in.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:17 PM
2

Woof. Sounds like we both dodged bullets!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:05 AM
3

You are 100% right. In the beginning she sold me HARD (this means two things) - I'd come home from work to her in some schoolgirl lingerie or some other sexy outfit (or no outfit) multiple times a week. I was so blinded by the lust/hotness (5 foot tall 110lb blonde with DD's) that I overlooked SO many other things that really matter when it comes to choosing a wife (ie. she had no values, goals, wasn't very smart, was lazy, no education or real career, didn't cook or clean well if at all... came…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:25 AM
5

Yeah my ex couldn't ever put together a coherent conversation about her feelings, the relationship, any issues/concerns, etc... she just bottled everything up and slowly became distant. Even at the end when I was handing her divorce papers she only managed to say "I'm content - but we can go on some dates if you want". These are emotionally immature people to start and in my case I'm guessing it didn't help that our expenses/her fun had to be cut back while I started my company - while at the sa…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:31 PM
1

Glad it helped. I'm still going through it but doing those aforementioned things certainly help. Feel free to DM me if you need anything or just to vent/rant.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 06:56 PM
5

Yeah well my ex-laws consisted of an alcoholic father and an extremely nosy and judgemental mother (who are still married but hate each other).. which I think is a big part of why their daughter is a little messed up in the head. So I can live without having to pretend to get along with them. I guess it would be harder if I actually liked them lol. Though even the mother did say she was 100% on my side during the split. Whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:50 PM
4

First solo turkey day in 5 years. Honestly.... not mad about having to pretend to like the former in-laws during a cringe worthy overly long lunch/dinner thing. Gotta find those little bits of silver lining ya know?
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:08 PM
11

Therapy, educating yourself, gym, work, hobbies, & friends. Therapy to help you sort through your emotions and dig into the causes of the divorce. Be self reflective because none of this is typically 100% one-sided. Acknowledge your mistakes and strive to be better for the next one. Educate yourself on attachment theory - as your situation sounds a lot like mine.... and when I realized she had every indicator of being a dismissive avoidant (with narcissistic tendencies) a LOT of my confusion ove…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 03:12 PM
2

How long has it been brother? You're situation sounds very similar to mine... it's like... I almost wish I had cheated or done something worthy of how she treated me at the end. But I didn't. Six months post-wedding (which I paid for out of my pocket) she decided she no longer wants to be married and refused to consider counseling or therapy or even having a real conversation. I'm 5 months post-split - I've been where you are/were. I am in an exponentially better place now. Feel free to shoot me…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:06 PM
8

I've come to realize that (most) women these days value their immediate feelings/emotions over any implied sense of loyalty or respect for history/family. It doesn't matter if you were together 10 months or 10 years.... if she decides she's done, she's done. They can turn cold/mean with the flip of a switch man. It's a tough lesson but... it's the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:04 PM
14

Go find someone who chooses you. When my wife and I split... a good friend told me "It's really hard to mess it up with the right person" and that hit hard. There were no issues in our marriage that couldn't be resolved but she did not value me enough to do it the "hard way". Okay bye. I know my worth. If she isn't actively choosing you and willing to fight for you... why would you want to be with that person?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 12:53 AM
16

I feel you sir. Separated since July but still going through the process. I was a fit, successful, confident guy before the marriage and for most of the time during. I didn't even think for one second she was unhappy... but my future ex-wife had a rough childhood and she learned to bottle everything up... so whatever she was unhappy about never came up nor would she even tell me while finally admitting she wanted to separate. By the end I was a shell of who I was before. Everyone says gym - it d…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 12:48 AM
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