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Inaproproo Archive

View 8 posts and 69 comments by Inaproproo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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40

He didn't change. Granted he dumped me because he was manic bipolar and was going through a manic episode, so I forgave him. However he never took his mental health as seriously as I would've liked even after the break up (i.e. regular psychiatric visits, taking meds as instructed, going to therapy, etc). I would've saved myself 3+ more years of a rollercoaster relationship and 2 more break-ups if I had stood my ground and said no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 07:36 PM
214

Thanks for pointing this out; cancer treatment is incredibly aging both mentally and physically
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 02:20 PM
89

Honestly same, up to a point. I hated giving them until my current partner. Prior partners would ask for it often and I didn't like the giving-to-receiving ratio. Or they'd be more forceful and I hate gagging. I look back now and am ASTOUNDED I settled for what I thought was good sex. Current partner is incredibly generous and supportive; if I want "pampering" I get it almost every time I ask with no expectation for reciprocating. That makes giving blowjobs now way more fun! I enjoy giving back …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 02:23 PM
57

For those who couldn’t understand through his own laughter: “Oh no! Who are they going to fight over now?” Hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:04 PM
33

I've experienced both sides of this with the same guy. When we first started dating he would introduce me to everyone, 60% of the time included me in conversations. After a few break ups due to his mental illness and lots of fighting over the years he stopped: inviting me to events; introducing me to new friends; including me in conversations; inviting me to family functions; etc. In hindsight after all the conflict he knew it wasn't "serious" and we weren't going to last, and didn't want to put…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:06 PM
58

I love this story. So glad you managed to make something out of a horrible experience, AND kept in contact with him and his new partner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:04 PM
2

Love this so much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:27 PM
6

In Chinese culture at least - the number 4 has the same sound as Death, so yeah very unlucky. But looking online some say 444 is a sign you're following the right path/is a sign of encouragement?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:37 PM
29

THIS! I would recommend Womanizer. Worth it for the $$$
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:25 AM
3

That sounds so nice! Glad you grew and found a good one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:10 PM
14

I REMEMBER THIS!! One of my old FWBs was on there and rated well by a few girls lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 12:34 AM
17

Woot! Learned to forgive myself for past behaviors and recognize that what I’m asking for is not “unrealistic” - It’s the bare fucking minimum. There’s a double standard for men and women in relationships and I am NOT okay with it anymore. And I’ve found an absolutely amazing partner who’s such a HVM!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:00 PM
2

Woah that’s...ugh. You think they’d understand stereotyping other races is no bueno.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:33 PM
9

We're glad you're here!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:55 PM
12

Yoooo I'm Asian too. This has happened to some degree to me, but more like a general yellow fever. It's gross and definitely plays into some weird dream of theirs to have the perfectly submissive partner. Or at least that's my take on it. Glad you dodged a bullet on this one, and happy you're in a better relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:37 PM
10

This - while there are definitely things you can’t change, weightlifting can help build out some curves. I was 5’6 & 110 lbs, skinny-fat from years of intense running. Wanted to get curvier so I started weightlifting 5x a week 3-4 years ago. Now I’m around 118 lbs, and lower body fat - and while I’m still pretty thin I do have noticeable “muscle curves”. My hip dips are still here. But my glutes, hamstrings, and quads are a bit bigger and look toned. But that took me YEARS of lifting and there a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:38 AM
1

OOOH I love giving clothing recommendations. Thredup (online thriftstore) Amazing place to shop for higher quality items from brands I love, without paying retail price. I fucking love this website, you can search by brand/size/type. I've discovered some new brands that fit so well, and gotten to try fun things. Bailey 44 - Expensive af, but I go through thredup. Their clothes are *so* stretchy and soft but don't pill badly. Good for work and nice-casual. Some stuff is really classy, or fancy fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 09:52 PM
39

Just want to add I’m asian too! Chinese actually. So you’re not alone - most Asians I know don’t see divorce as an option. We need to empower women across all cultures and encourage one another
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 01:23 PM
16

When I was younger, all I heard was "men mature slower". Obviously that's a lie...it was used to justify men's poor behavior because men are simple and don't know right from wrong🙄 That literally just clicked. Girls/women are held to a different standard in terms of growth and maturity than boys/men. Also OP's comment below made me cringe; we're only maturing fast for relationships, but not leadership positions. There's a lot wrong with this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:31 PM
6

I think similiar to a comment above - helicopter parents. Or parents thinking that since they're "boys" they don't need to learn it or may learn it later in life. My mom and stepdad were amazing at encouraging us to help in the kitchen, teaching us how to do basic things. There was no difference between what my sister and I learned versus what my brother learned. We learned to take pride in doing things ourselves and that makes a big difference in how you view chores and life skills. I'm guessin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:05 PM
81

Made me realize my worth. Who to avoid and how to do it. Tons of resources! & helped me find an amazing guy who respects and cherishes me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:08 PM
41

Honestly just since I joined FDS - I've noticed and become more critical of guys. We're taught at a young age (and continually through societal expectations) to take care of ourselves. Sunscreen, moisturizers, exercise, eating healthy, etc. And now we take pride in self-care and preventing aging, and will continue to look great well into our 40's, 50's, and beyond. Men don't get this same external pressure. More smoking/drinking, shittier diets, less exercise, no skincare, etc. They age so quick…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:50 PM
32

The fuck did I just read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 05:01 PM
21

It’s got some pickme vibes but in the end Sally leveled up and went ahead to pursue her dreams as a happy single lady instead of settling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:17 PM
19

Telling how it’s basically all stories of creepy men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:22 PM
87

As an Asian I get hit on by really creepy guys. Gym, walking the street, dating apps... everywhere. Turns out my first bf had an Asian fetish too. Fuck these people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 03:08 PM
124

Love the advice! Would also like to point out that the term Nagging is skewed towards women asking men to do things they know they should already be doing. And is portrayed in such a way that if we want to avoid being a nag, we should just shut up and do the thing ourselves rather than ask the man man-child to do it. Men "request". Women "nag". It's sexist bullshit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:06 PM
28

Hey-o! I was in a 5+ year relationship with my bipolar ex with anger and self-esteem issues. It takes time to forgive yourself. One thing my therapist and sister said was to make peace with knowing that you tried and gave it your all. Be gentle; you are still learning. And yes you were a pickmeisha but at least you now know what to look out for. Making mistakes sucks. 3 years sucks. But at least you didn't get married. Or have kids! So there's still a bright side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 06:53 PM
9

Wow I don't have advice but I'm really sorry about that situation. It sounds tough. Is there any way you could request another mentor? Or talk with HR ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 05:53 PM
21

This was a big thing for me. My ex managed social media for the company he worked for, but he started applying a lot of those same methods to his own personal account. Resulted in him social media-ing All. The. Goddamn. Time. He also belittled me when I would bring up how he never posted about me, ever. In 5 years. Eventually I realized this obsession with Instagram was a symptom of his self-esteem and self-image issues. So it's definitely not unreasonable. I personally limit social media use (a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:50 PM
64

Was going to crosspost this from r/AreTheStraightsOK. I saw another post here very recently about how guys who do the bare minimum should not be considered HVM and wanted to reiterate: Real HVM know doing the bare minimum every day is just that, the bare minimum. Partners should both be putting in an effort to keep the household running smoothly and efficiently. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "If I compliment him then he'll do it more often!" NOPE. He knows he should be carrying his weight…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:47 PM
10

Also want to add, if he’s truly a great guy and is thinking long-term then he/you will appreciate taking time with the relationship. Savor the build up and milestones. Rushing and ticking boxes too quickly will only leave you feeling bored and dissatisfied in the future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 04:57 PM
2

ThredUP! Great place to online thrift and buy quality clothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 11:54 AM
29

THIS. My ex of 5+ years was the friendliest guy. He’d donate to homeless people; give thousands of dollars worth of discounts to customers; give coffee to random strangers; literally give the shirt off his back to be nice and help others. But he had no friends. Actively avoided connecting with people from the past. I started recognizing this around year 1, he’d make a “best friend”... for a month. Then drop them. I felt special for being the only person he stuck around with for so long, but afte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:30 AM
8

I’ll add that my current bf is quite a HVM, but has very little dating experience compared to me. However he’s receptive to little nudges (picking up the check, grabbing food before he comes over, attentive to details for future gift ideas, etc) and is very willing to learn. Honestly the most emotionally intelligent and thoughtful bf I’ve had so far! So it can totally depend on the person; if you feel like he’s got good habits and is willing to learn then he could be a HVM. But please vet him wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:00 PM
16

Yessss I'd be down! I have some great recommendations (mostly due to never getting off from sex, thanks so much LV-exes)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:08 PM
8

Love. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:59 PM
26

This might be culture specific; I’m Chinese (born in US) and the men in our family, even if they’re born in Asia, are pretty expressive with love and affection. Emotional intelligence isn’t always there but I think that’s more due to upbringing and expectations in American culture? Most Koreans I know are very open and expressive as well. And from what I’ve seen of Japanese men and women in my life, they seem more contained and stoic than other Asians. There are a lot of cultural expectations ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 07:43 PM
21

Dad: Whenever any of us siblings need help moving he will FLY out to us and help. CA, NY, or IN - he will travel thousands of miles to us. Hell even when my sister broke up with her NVM (negative value man) he just said “okay good glad you’re done with him” and spent two days moving her stuff out. He loves us to death and makes it known that our happiness and success in life is his top priority! Current bf: 3-part Valentines Day surprise. I was home and had just gotten out of the shower, and saw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 05:40 PM
59

Low-key love this. The ending made me laugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 05:37 PM
11

Bojack horseman right? I loved that quote too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 09:54 PM
9

Proud of you for getting out of a bad situation safely. And so happy you've leveled up and are working on you, for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:58 PM
6

YUP I made this mistake. After a bad fight with my then-bf of 5 years, I sent him a 2-page WORD DOCUMENT of a letter explaining why we needed to go to couples counseling and address all our past break-ups and shit. I didn't hear back for 2 weeks and he broke up with me. Lesson learned lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:38 PM
9

Love the way you broke it down. Same thing happened to me with my ex - we went through so many manic-bipolar break-ups, but once I started getting stressed with work and had a break-down that was "too much to handle" lol. Glad you've found someone better! Never let your standards fall
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:24 PM
90

Dear god yes I would pay to watch this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:24 AM
13

If you check the r/childfree subreddit there’s some resources for female sterilization-friendly doctors by state. Hope that is useful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:20 PM
3

I think it was a recommendation through reddit back in early December. Had just gotten out of a long-term relationship where I devolved into a pick-me and was so happy to find someplace where women empowered each other. I liked the memes and thought it was a little over-the-top but once I read the handbook I was hooked. Love all of y'all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 06:48 PM
3

Wow thank you for linking this, realized I hadn't done it since May last year. A lot has changed so I'm hoping to keep track of it from now on :) thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:50 PM
5

Oh sweet! How is your relationship going? Tbh I feel like it was a lot of trial and error and fully committing to self-improvement. I fully expected to be single for awhile and embraced that - and of course that's exactly when I met this guy, ugh! First I was absolutely ruthless with online dating. I primarily use OkCupid, as I found Tinder to be too full of LVM. In the past I've commented here on how I have thresholds for profiles (like >90% match, good photos, filled out profile, >100 question…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:42 PM
16

Thank you! It's been about 2 months since we met. My list of early green flags: He said (and demonstrated) how he takes consent very seriously and insisted he wouldn't make the first move physical-wise to ensure his date/partner are fully comfortable. This was huge for me since I'm so used to guys shoving things at me and insisting on sex within the first dates. Has long-term friends and goals, career-wise and hobby-wise. Made it very clear within the first month he wanted to be exclusive and wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:34 PM
15

Damn. Keeper indeed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:48 PM
26

Mom: Never rely on someone 100%. Make sure you have your own goals and are working towards something at all times Never rely on someone else financially, unless you're absolutely sure of the relationship Never let someone financially rely on you. Don't do roommate/wife duties for a boyfriend Be wary of nice guys in general Always take care of yourself first Don't talk too much about sexual history Aunt: Let the man court you. My uncle said he did not let her pay for anything, he asked her out, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 08:06 PM
43

Wish I had this advice a few months ago. Was dating someone who I considered HV in a lot of areas but had a lot of emotional baggage that I can see now warped our relationship from the get-go. And in hindsight I was a placeholder girl (dating for 5 years, never talked about marriage, lived together, etc). Listen to your gut. If you're contemplating breaking up then just do it. Never settle for less and constantly re-evaluate if the relationship is serving you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:41 PM
12

Agreed; the site itself is a good way to vet men. I've met mostly trash men on Tinder, but my last 3 boyfriends were from OkCupid; you have to make sure they: 1) Put in the effort to write something on their profile and identify their preferences 2) Have at least several pictures (not topless) 3) Answer at least 100 questions (and that you match well %-wise) I'm not going to match with someone who low-efforts their profile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:12 PM
1

Mine used to be more labour intensive due to bad acne, hormone changes, and eczema , but this is my paired down routine now: Gentle cleanser (Cetaphil is a good one) Glycolic toner at night to minimize pores The Ordinary copper peptide and Buffet serum Niacinimide serum Tretinoin - prescription, for acne and anti-aging Scar cream Moisturizer (Stratia Liquid Gold, this is the best moisturizer for any skin type) Sunscreen for daytime
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:06 PM
7

He gave me some edibles, took me to his favorite restaurant (which I also love), and we grabbed boba afterwards. Walked me around downtown to show me where to buy an investment property since I expressed interest! This was the best part, he took my interest seriously and has since sent some properties for me to look at. It was remarkable because he showed a lot of little things; always switching to walking on the street side on the sidewalk, opening EVERY door for me, obviously grabbing the bill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:55 PM
1

All the couples were married, yup! Some singles too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:33 PM
5

That’s what I’ve been thinking; he’s great so far but I still have to process the break up some more before I jump into something new
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:35 AM
2

I have 2 other guys in my rotation both seemingly HVM so far. & referencing sexual alignment, he is demisexual, so he doesn’t feel sexual attraction until he’s more emotionally bonded with the person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:22 PM
-5

Oh I have a high libido and he does as well. He’s demisexual, which is on the spectrum of asexuality; so he does not feel sexual attraction for someone until he’s more emotionally bonded with the person. I have been in a dead bedroom and he understands that sex is really important for me, as it is for him too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:19 PM
8

Based on others advice here I will be more cautious; Thank you all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:13 PM
1

Will do! I think he’s probably a bit inexperienced when it comes to dating but will definitely be taking things slower
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:13 PM
13

I moved for my bf of 5 yrs and he ended things in early Oct. So I don’t have many friends here and my family is pretty far away; and this guy had invited me to his friends party so I took him up on the offer. Seemed like a nice gesture at the time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:12 PM
13

Ahh sorry. I should clarify he was looking for something serious with the possibility of marriage down the road. And he’s interested in dating me more seriously. He hadn’t introduced potential partners to his group due to him being on the spectrum of asexual, and he’d been mostly single for the last 7 years. But I will definitely be taking it slower and am still seeing other people in the meantime. Thanks for helping me keep things in check!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:10 PM
9

OLD is a numbers game. Tl;dr, be intense with filtering LVM out. I swipe left on 95% of guys (I'm in the Midwest, mid-sized city). Though I've ditched Tinder due to low effort from guys there. Most luck has come from OkCupid and even then I filter based on how much effort a guy puts into his profile. If there's <30 questions answered, I move on. If he has not info in his bio, I move on. If he only has 1 pic, I move on; you get the idea. So out of 50 guys I see, I may like 1 guy. He needs to mess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:39 PM
7

I’ll also add to that, Tretinoin gel is basically a topical version of accutane, and does double duty since it’s a retinol - this will help with preventing skin aging and boosts collagen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 07:23 PM
1

This was hilarious and empowering, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:05 PM
12

This is me to a tee. Seemingly HVM of 5 years, but now I know he did not ever plan on us being together anyways. On to better things and a self-fulfilling life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:43 AM
11

Hey I get it. I reached that point last week, and cancelled the rest of my dates lined up for the week. Also juggling 2-4 guys at any one point. So fucking tired. On the plus side maybe follow through on some that seem “on the fence” for a second date? One of mine actually ended up being an awesome HVM (so far) and I felt better actually getting to know him better the second time around ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 02:03 AM
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