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Independent_Farm_628 Archive

View 0 posts and 45 comments by Independent_Farm_628 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

OP I divorced my cheating ex wife (no kids) when I was around the same age as you are now. I hit rock bottom but I moved to a new city and years later, I’m happily remarried and thriving now. I’m glad I bit the bullet and left my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:42 PM
1

This gave me all the feels. 😿
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 04:28 PM
9

OP I was in your shoes once and the emasculation was hard to get over. But I did get over it with therapy and distance. In your case, coparenting a child makes the process challenging. That said, first divorce her & get the coparenting arrangements worked out. Also get betrayal trauma therapy. Get her toxic presence out of your daily life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 06:25 PM
5

OP My sympathies are with you brother. Everything you say points to your wife having an affair. After healthcare and first responders, travel and hospitality is the most common area of employment for infidelity. Looks like you have a good lawyer. Follow her advice and focus on protecting yourself and your ability to support your children. I’ve been there before. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 08:10 PM
3

It’s hard man. I know. Get a lawyer asap. Looks like your STBXW is still in the affair fog (or what I’d like to call New Dick Energy) and she might be willing to make concessions to get a quick divorce. One other thing - I didn’t have kids then but my ex-wife cheated on me and by the time the divorce was final, I lost all my money, got fired from my high six figure paying job & lost so much weight that I looked like a longtime prisoner of war. The lesson from that is that you need to take care o…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 03:03 PM
6

OP Sending strength to you buddy! First, please retain a good family lawyer. Second, the woman you loved and married is dead. Your “wife” is now at best someone who you have to tolerate and coparent with. Are you in a no fault state?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 02:46 PM
2

Here’s my basic advice. Some of it may sound obvious or silly but here goes. Drink plenty of water and get sunlight - go for walks or runs outside. Betrayal stress causes the body to generate a lot of toxins and you need to flush it out regularly. Sunlight helps control depression. Also, make sure to sleep well. If necessary, get sleep meds from your doctor Consult multiple family law attorneys and retain one asap. Follow their advice religiously. You need to protect yourself, your finances and …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 09:32 PM
6

OP I feel your pain. I was cheated on by my ex-wife some 10 years ago. I didn’t suspect a thing until the wife of her AP broke the news to me. Didn’t have kids but I ended up financially and mentally ruined by the time the divorce was final. Now I feel like it was a blessing to be rid of her. In your case, the length of our marriage makes it more painful, to state the obvious. Did you suspect anything? If she has told many people, she might already have an exit plan lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:52 PM
4

That’s some messed up woman man.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 05:20 PM
3

Low libido
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:17 PM
5

Then hit the gas and finalize the D.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:02 AM
8

OP Do NOT slow the process down. You can always get together post divorce but the sooner you move now the better divorce terms your wife will give you. If she is still in the fog of affair, she will want to formalize it fast and will be prepared to concede more than she needs to. Do you live in an at fault state?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 09:51 PM
3

Brother This sub is a support group. Moving out is the best way to kill the hopium. Your STBXW is not the prize - you are.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 05:49 PM
3

OP It's awesome that you are taking back the reins from your cheating STBXW! We are with you brother!
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 01:25 PM
1

Thanks for explaining!
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:30 PM
1

Holy shit I didn't realize becoming a surgeon is that expensive. You have a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:59 PM
16

OP I feel your pain but trust me on this - you really don't want this thing to pause or stop for a bit. She has shown her hand by making it clear that she is impatient. Instead of fretting over it, use her haste to your advantage and negotiate favorable terms for things that you really want.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:52 PM
2

You have a $1M student loan debt????
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:49 PM
4

Why wouldn't you want to be friends with someone who shit on your 27 year marriage, emasculated you, ripped your heart out, spit on it and irrereprably destroyed your finances? The nerve of these cheaters man!
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 11:13 PM
3

OP If the affair was going on for like 9 years of your 10 year marriage, you need to ask yourself whether you were her primary in the first place. Especially since the AP was also at your med school from the beginning. Your wife’s case is almost like a female version of the type of affair where the husband is caught maintaining a secret family in another city. My ex-wife had a 2+ year affair during my 8 year first marriage, so I can relate. After the divorce, I was 70 lbs lighter, unemployed and…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 11:04 PM
2

OP Kudos to your mother. She raised you right! Her advice is sound as well. After your divorce is buttoned up, please follow through and let the cheating AP’s wife know. Maybe she knows already and maybe she prefers not to know. But you do your part and let the chips fall where they may. I landed on my feet after my ex-wife’s treachery and to this day I believe that the best revenge is to live well. Ten years later I have a good job, a wonderful wife, a daughter, and a step-daughter. My ex never…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 03:57 AM
2

Nothing. Ignore these fools
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 01:21 AM
3

If you own none of the debt, you own none of the equity as well. Too bad your cheating ex-wife didn't know this basic principle. Sad!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 07:00 PM
16

OP I see from your other comments that you are choosing not to tell the other guy’s wife about the affair. I only learned about my ex-wife’s affair with my “friend” when his wife told me and shared their texts and other evidence. This is not a vindictive or punitive action. It's the compassionate thing to do - for the other betrayed spouse! AP’s wife deserves to know that her husband is cheating on her and potentially exposing her to STIs among other things. The fact that this arrogant a-hole to…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:23 PM
1

Man, please reconsider this! I only learned about my ex-wife’s affair with my “friend” when his wife told me and shared their texts and other evidence. The other man’s wife deserves to know that her husband is cheating on her and potentially exposing her to STIs among other things. Please tell her!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:18 PM
23

OP She's probably crying for herself. Don't be swayed by the waterworks man. Judge her by her callous actions, not her tears. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:07 PM
10

OP I’ve been in your shoes, so I say this with all due empathy. SNAP OUT OF IT! By pining for her and begging her to “confess”, you are giving her control over your life. Stop letting her live rent free in your head. Instead, ignore her. Go Gray Rock on her ass. File for divorce and minimize all conversations with her and restrict interactions to purely childcare related matters. And for fvxks sake stop wallowing in self pity man. She will only disrespect you more if you keep being pitiful aroun…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 05:27 PM
3

Get a voice activated recorder from Best Buy or Amazon or any electronics store. Charge it and keep it in your person all the time. Better, get 2 of those and keep one on you and the other in the room where you both talk most. This has saved so many men from false DV allegations made by their angry wife/gf
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 04:42 AM
2

Hey OP Congrats on your decision and for negotiating a better deal with your employer! Fvck all the losers who were hating on you here. Good luck!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 06:49 PM
3

🙄🤮
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 08:28 PM
2

Wow! You are some kinda super dad! You have my respect man! Did she at least come and visit them? If it were my mom, I’d be beyond traumatized if she just up and left for a few months. How is your kids’ relationship with her?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 08:26 PM
3

Wait You managed 3 kids on your own? Was she not having them over part time? This is insane
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 08:17 PM
1

Oh wow! I take it you moved out during the separation but are still living in the same city. I can’t offer insights on relocating with kid(s) but moving far away and cutting off links with all my old friends and acquaintances was crucial in my recovery. Also in my case I chose a less lucrative career path post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 08:09 PM
3

So how long were you married and was the divorce civil or acrimonious?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 07:57 PM
1

OP Wow! Your wife had a fling with a 25 yo? WTaF? Is he a coworker of hers? How old is your ex? It’s going to be weird for your 15yo to live with his/her mom and her loverboy who’s probably closer to their age than their mom’s I too divorced my cheating ex-wife (no kids) and relocated several states away. It’s worked out great for me. Remarried and living the dad life
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 07:47 PM
20

Nice OP! The best revenge on a cheater is to live well. Rock on!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:26 PM
1

OP I read some of your history and it looks like your STBXH likely had someone lined up before he told you he “wasn’t in love with you” anymore. Whether it’s the husband or the wife, the pick-me dance only makes the other party respect you less. It’s clear that your STBXH wants out fast. Please focus on making it fair for you and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 02:00 PM
2

What the duck? This is the most messed up situation I've heard in a while
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 03:14 AM
1

OP I dont understand what “10 years behind” means
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 12:11 AM
2

OP Do not leave the house. Now, what are the circumstances of her cheating? Even in some no-fault states, adultery can be a factor in custody and other situations.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:37 PM
49

OP Please ask your mom to wait to transfer ownership of the house. Then proceed with the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 01:07 PM
3

And his ex is already less desirable to the AP.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:35 AM
4

A. Stop letting her live rent free in your head and B. If the AP is forced out by his wife, why would he settle for a side piece like your ex? 99% of men will play the field So yeah blow up his marriage like yesterday
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:20 AM
5

OP She’s still living rent free in your head, which means that you are letting her control your happiness. Stop it and man up! Cheaters cheat because in their cheater minds they have convinced themselves that they are justified. She decided to end the marriage after this exit affair so why do you expect her to show any remorse? Detach yourself from her. Yes you will need to coparent but the more you line for her the more she will despise you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:17 AM
3

OP I’ve been in your shoes but thankfully chose not to act. I mean cathartic satisfaction would feel good for the short term, but it also would show that she is living rent free in your head. At least Don’t do anything until the divorce is official
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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