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InfallibleBiship Archive

View 1 posts and 379 comments by InfallibleBiship on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

That Baumeister essay really struck with me when I first read it. Here is a website that is a little easier to read it on.
/r/MensRights11/02/13 12:02 AM
2

Was she serious, or joking?
/r/TheRedPill10/02/13 10:45 PM
16

Why would you move in with a woman when there's a law like this in effect?
/r/MensRights09/02/13 11:50 PM
3

The MRM is concerned with men's rights. You can be an egalitarian and still be an MRA. Most MRAs here consider themselves egalitarians. I find it interesting that you spent much of your first paragraph describing, basically, that your mom respected your dad's needs. Implicit in this is the idea that this is unusual - that very often a man's needs are considered ridiculous and superfluous unless they conform to the needs of the rest of the family.
/r/MensRights08/02/13 02:21 PM
2

Having kids is hard work. The problem that I see is that people struggle with it, and in an attempt to deal with that struggle, target their partner as the object of their resentment. It's an immature and selfish reaction to always have to find someone else to blame, even when blame cannot be assigned to anyone.
/r/MensRights08/02/13 01:09 PM
3

I'm sure she would argue that she has achieved a position of power despite being a member of the oppressed class.
/r/MensRights01/02/13 02:31 PM
-2

I didn't look at your links because I really don't need to. I assume your point is that /r/MR is anti-feminism, and you would be right.
/r/MensRights01/02/13 03:15 AM
2

A troll, that's all. And a pretty bad one. This is a person who neither understands people nor knows how to enjoy people with different viewpoints. He/she is almost certainly a completely black-and-white thinker, which is one of the worst characteristics I can imagine. There are a lot of these on reddit, but this one is a caricature of that.
/r/MensRights01/02/13 02:46 AM
12

Because the hospital example would have probably been a mistake, whereas the situation here was a case of intentional deceit.
/r/MensRights17/01/13 10:38 PM
3

How do you thing you'd handle things if either you or your wife lost your job? What if one of you unilaterally decided to quit your job to stay at home?
/r/MensRights17/01/13 10:27 PM
8

I agree that cheating is not cheating if it's not cheating. But even in poly relationships there is cheating. Getting into non-monogamy as a solution to cheating is irrelevant.
/r/MensRights17/01/13 03:10 PM
1

It is behind a lot of what we do, but if we are on a constant search for it and never finding it, then there is something wrong.
/r/MensRights31/12/12 01:40 AM
0

My personal definition of slut is different: a promiscuous person who uses sex for self-esteem validation.
/r/MensRights30/12/12 05:12 AM
2

It matters to me. I'm not expecting people to be pristine and pure, but I see a large number of partners as a red flag for the type of partner I am looking for. You asked why: I don't know for Roddy0608, but for me, I don't want to be with someone who uses sex for validation or who doesn't combine sex with a deep emotional connection.
/r/MensRights30/12/12 05:07 AM
2

What were your negative experiences with joint physical custody? I have joint custody of my 2 daughters, and it's been pretty smooth, but that's because my ex-wife and I are able to work together.
/r/MensRights27/12/12 05:22 PM
0

No. Kids are great. Just know what you're getting into. My personal opinion is that marriage is not a good idea, but you don't need marriage to have kids.
/r/MensRights25/12/12 11:31 PM
6

....I've never felt "unlovable" because I have goals or ambitions. The author feels unlovable because she's been told recently that goals and ambitions aren't the necessary and sufficient conditions for love. This goes against the grain for her, and makes her angry. As for the "placate my insecurity" bit, that really baffles me. Is she saying that men should love her solely for her passion, drive, and ambition? That would be ridiculous, but that's what I got from it.
/r/MensRights01/12/12 05:12 PM
6

I totally agree. I read this as her basically saying that she's been duped her whole life. There are other points in there on a different subject (rape and violence), but I'm not focusing on that part. She's angry because Venker's article makes her feel "unlovable". She wants to be loved for her "passion, articulation, and drive". While those might be attributes deserving respect, they are not the foundation for love, yet she is implying that they were supposed to be. A "strong, independent woma…
/r/MensRights01/12/12 04:56 PM
2

I'm not sure I'm saying I want to "maintain" differences, just that differences can be OK with me. For example, when we had kids, my wife felt like going to work made her a bad mom, when she didn't work she felt like a bad feminist. I don't think feminism (or men's rights) should shame people into behaviors that further their causes, but that's what they do. I can see how, because women carry children and breastfeed, mothers might be more likely to choose to stay home with kids than fathers. I t…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 01:24 PM
2

I was not making a separate but equal argument, at least I don't think I was. However, I do think some issues cannot be made equal. An example might be reproductive rights. I am sorry you thought I might attack and oppress you. That was not my intention.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 12:35 PM
2

What does egalitarianism look like to you? To me, feminism does not look like egalitarianism because it does not recognize men's issues, or when it does, it discounts them. That said, while I do like the idea of equality, I don't know if I really want an "egalitarian" society. I enjoy the differences between the sexes, between cultures, etc. Differences lead to differences. I am willing to accept that, but I am also willing to leave the discussion of these differences open.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 04:56 AM
2

That's very cool. As a guy, I've learned not to share my insecurities with my SO. If your guy does, and it doesn't make him less attractive to you, then more power to you both and I think it's fantastic. However, for most guys it would be best to save their insecurities for their therapist.
/r/MensRights21/11/12 04:22 PM
1

I don't see this issue as solely related to "feeling threatened". Men want spaces where the environment is tailored to men. There is nothing wrong with men creating a men's club, poker night, a man cave, etc. as a place where a guy can get a little time away from the gynocentric culture of the world.
/r/MensRights19/11/12 04:30 PM
3

Men are supposed to get married and throw everything they have into their career so that women have the choice of career vs staying home. Men are supposed to pay child support and alimony under threat of severe punishment, and while they are entitled to see their kids for brief moments, this particular entitlement shall not be enforced. Men are supposed to let Feminism decide what equality really is. Men are supposed to take personal responsibility for every incidence of rape. Men are supposed t…
/r/MensRights09/11/12 09:15 PM
2

This is an opinion piece. The author is throwing out hypotheses... not that there's anything wrong with that, and not that she's necessarily wrong... but I think this article is designed to support its conclusions by creating an emotional response in the like-minded reader.
/r/MensRights09/11/12 07:40 PM
3

be very careful not to let the woman live with you, have the keys to your apartment, mail anything there etc Holy shit. What about having clothes at your place?
/r/MensRights05/11/12 01:21 PM
3

Those are the Democratic candidates. The Republican candidates are not much different, with radio ads saying: "O'Brien, Markman and Zahra regularly hand down the toughest sentences to violent criminals who prey on the elderly, women and children."
/r/MensRights01/11/12 04:35 PM
1

Women at this point are beyond turning back - she is going to go through with the divorce, so there's no point in him trying to prove his love to her or otherwise change her mind. It'll most likely just cause him more pain. She has probably spent the last several months/years preparing herself for this decision. Support is the most important thing you can offer him. There probably is another man involved and this will make him feel so much pain that you cannot possibly imagine. He might feel lik…
/r/MensRights31/10/12 01:03 PM
1

Does this really just apply to one gender? It applies given the fact that over 70% of all divorces are initiated by women.
/r/MensRights29/10/12 10:09 PM
1

There are ways to extend the lines of communication, especially as your child gets older. Write her letters. Go to every event that you possibly can. Offer to care for your daughter so your ex can go out on dates or whatever (hopefully you have right of first refusal, if not, maybe see if a lawyer can help you get this).
/r/MensRights24/10/12 08:37 PM
8

But if he really loved me then he would never ask for it. Women file for divorce more than twice as often as men. I would think that most of those men trusted and loved their wives when they got married. Similarly I would think most of those women trusted and loved their husbands when they first got married... however, something derailed that train. I have to give you props in that you are willing to work with your fiance on this. However the idea that a pre-nup runs counter to love is ridiculou…
/r/MensRights24/10/12 07:38 PM
23

Marriage is a contract, like it or not, and the terms of dissolution can really suck for men. I've negotiated many contracts for my business, and the terms of dissolution are often 90% of the effort. Your boyfriend is a smart man for recognizing this and dealing with it directly. You've obviously chosen well. I think your compromise is fine, although if you're in a common law state he should still get a prenup.
/r/MensRights24/10/12 07:18 PM
0

Hamakua was not disagreeing with you.
/r/MensRights18/10/12 11:08 AM
6

That was the overwhelming conclusion in the Brinig-Allen study (referenced by that article) which is the only serious study I know of that has attempted to answer this question.
/r/MensRights18/10/12 11:04 AM
3

I can't remember where I saw it, but supposedly one of the creepshots guys was doxxed through a PM he sent with his address to get a pizza on /r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza. Some people are easier to dox than others. I don't disclose much personal information, but someone could definitely figure out my age, what state (and maybe city) I live in, what I do for a living, whether I'm married, whether I have kids or not. Everything you post can be scrutinized... comments, screenshots, links to other sites,…
/r/MensRights12/10/12 03:29 PM
4

I don't think taking a Machiavellian approach to dealing with things you don't like is the way to go.
/r/MensRights11/10/12 08:07 PM
15

I know you're probably speaking from emotion so I don't really need to say this... but that's not really for you to determine.
/r/MensRights11/10/12 08:04 PM
4

I agree too. There is no good that can come from that.
/r/MensRights11/10/12 08:03 PM
12

A bunch of people from the (now banned) subreddit creepshots were doxxed, and there is supposedly some connection to SRS. One of these people who got doxxed was allegedly attacked. The others, I would presume, are now fearful of fallout from internet vigilantes.
/r/MensRights11/10/12 07:55 PM
17

SRS is a collection of users, not some entity that has a mind of its own... while I think they generally represent much of what is wrong with this world, and while one or a few of them may have doxxed some people, I'm not sure this was definitely a collaborative effort on the part of all or most of SRS, nor I do I think it is against the law. It is, however, really fucking scary and is much worse (IMO) than any problem people might have with creepshots. SRS and these users knew what they were do…
/r/MensRights11/10/12 06:02 PM
9

At least you have an open mind. I think you've touched upon one or two of numerous issues in the MRM. Others include family court issues, sentencing disparity, reproductive rights. There are many more. I hope you will read a little here and understand why people here don't like Feminism. Not that it will change your views, but it will make you realize what this community sees as Feminism. It is most likely not the same feminism that you espouse.
/r/MensRights08/10/12 11:51 PM
5

...learning to separate my self-worth from the opinions of those around me. This is important, but I think most of us need a reasonable amount of support in our lives to be able to do this. If the people most active in your life are generally not supportive, then you'll have a lot of trouble doing this. The answer is to change the people who you allow into your life. If your mother is not supportive, then she needs to be given less of your time and energy.
/r/MensRights05/10/12 02:29 PM
1

I really don't understand the constant bleating about hypergamy that goes on. I mean, doesn't everyone (both men and women) want something better? From what I've read, women want the highest status mate they can find. But men do the same thing - they generally want a more attractive partner (which for me is a combination of looks, intelligence, and personality). Men and women both know that there will always be a higher status or more attractive person out there, so they go into a committed rela…
/r/MensRights03/10/12 02:15 PM
1

I thought this was because most people want to have their divorces finalized early in the year for tax reasons.
/r/MensRights01/10/12 12:34 PM
3

I hear you, and you are right that there are plenty of mature women and immature men. I personally think the article is right, though, in that immature women are given an 'out' by society, in the form of more built-in excuses for bad behavior, and many of these immature women take advantage of that. Now this is not really a rights issue, it's more of a gender relations or relationship issue. But I think stuff like this gets posted here because it's these types of issues that get men thinking abo…
/r/MensRights29/09/12 12:58 PM
5

Abortion is legal in the US, so are most forms of birth control. What country is this supposed to be in?
/r/MensRights28/09/12 02:18 AM
6

Thanks for being here. Men do have some issues worth talking about.
/r/MensRights28/09/12 02:12 AM
1

Here's how it looked at 21:59 EDT: [1] http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/man-spared-jail-in-romeo-case-3172547.html Yes, no tricks or anything. A 15 year old boy got sentenced to prison for having perfectly consensual sex with a girl the same age. There really is a law saying all teenage sex is male-on-female rape. And it was made in 2006. ... Okay, everything I said was entirely true, but it's not really fair. So backstory: in 2006, after realising that their statutory rape laws fr…
/r/MensRights28/09/12 02:00 AM
6

Dude, I'm sorry that happened. I had a similar story to yours. About 8 years before I got divorced, my wife was having a tough time being with the kids all day. I was able to change my work schedule to be from 3 am to 1 pm. This allowed me to get home around 1:15 and take the kids for the rest of the day, play with them, talk to them, help them with homework, feed them dinner, put them to bed, then clean and take care of the house. I did this every single day for many years. It was hard. The har…
/r/MensRights28/09/12 01:57 AM
2

Are you suggesting that taking care of kids is not worth anything? Do you have kids?
/r/MensRights28/09/12 01:16 AM
1

I edited my post. I think that explains it.
/r/MensRights26/09/12 09:48 PM
8

Gee, thanks for the wisdom. Now go back to your friends who agree with everything you say. Edit: You know what, I came back to apologize for being snarky. Gender Feminism is not something that is looked at too positively here... so while I'm sure you're making an interesting observation when looked at from the viewpoint of Gender Feminist theory, people here don't subscribe to that type of theory. This means that any discussion based on assumptions of that theory being true are useless.
/r/MensRights26/09/12 09:43 PM
-1

I didn't know people here were doing this. If I start seeing downvote brigades out of /r/mensrights, then I'm not sticking around. The MRM is not about karma or 'winning' something on reddit.
/r/MensRights26/09/12 02:53 PM
3

You shouldn't feel like one side is right and another is wrong without really knowing what happened. As for alimony, no, there should be no alimony since they were not married. I know some states have common law marriage, but that is wrong. Now that I think about it, I'd like the MRM to start rallying against the concept of common law marriage. Not getting married is about the only way for a hetero guy (who doesn't want to MGTOW) to protect himself from the perils of the marriage contract. Not t…
/r/MensRights25/09/12 01:36 PM
2

I think at some level most do, but in many cases the cheater is in a desperate attempt to avoid shame for their own actions, and this causes them to not actually evaluate their own actions. Note that guilt and shame are two different things. Guilt is feeling bad about how your own actions may have hurt someone. Shame is feeling like there is something inherently wrong with you. Guilt is focused on the action, but shame is focused on the person who did the wrong. Shame can be incredibly painful a…
/r/MensRights25/09/12 12:56 PM
3

This is what all cheater do. They try to find a way to make the cheating their partner's fault. Both men and women do this, but one of the differences between men and women is that women often get support for their bullshit rationalizations, and men generally don't. I don't know if this is because of an inherent bias toward believing that the man is the cause of problems in relationships, or if it's because of the different types of dynamics that men and women have in their social groups.
/r/MensRights25/09/12 11:31 AM
2

There are a lot of problem with the CS system. I acknowledge that. But CS money is 100% for you to decide what to do with it. It often feels very unfair for the guy paying (especially when they've lost their job or when they pay and don't get to see their kids as much as they'd like). I don't blame many of these guys. Some of them simply can't pay. Some of them see their ex wives spending on luxury items, and others just see differences in priorities and want a little more control over how the m…
/r/MensRights24/09/12 09:40 PM
2

You do not have to justify or account for your spending. While I understand that a lot of guys would like to see CS become more accountable in this way, it opens a big can of worms and just isn't realistic. I'm sure you want to keep a good relationship with your ex, but all you can really do is take care of your daughter as best you can. Since you're divorced, you need to have separate control of money in each household. That mean, even though he pays CS, he doesn't get to control how it's used.
/r/MensRights24/09/12 07:04 PM
4

I had the same marriage as you. I took care of the kids about 70% of the time and worked full time, while she stayed at home. She self-medicated by spending money and, eventually, by sleeping with another guy. My ex-wife is not a bad person, and she is OK as a mother (although I still do most of the parenting), but she was a horrible partner.
/r/MensRights24/09/12 06:36 PM
6

I think men and women both get faulted in /r/relationships, but I agree about most of your characterizations of that sub. It is a very idealistic and narrow-minded subreddit (as is much of reddit).
/r/MensRights24/09/12 06:26 PM
5

It is interesting. If a pregnant woman decides not to have her child, the father could have full rights to have the child without her... and she would theoretically have to pay child support.
/r/MensRights24/09/12 11:55 AM
3

In case you didn't know, Dr. Helen also has a blog.
/r/MensRights20/09/12 09:48 PM
5

This story is told from the viewpoint of a child.
/r/MensRights19/09/12 01:51 AM
9

I think I'm an idiot for falling into her web. The problem is not falling into some deceiver's web. We're all human, after all, and I think it's a positive human trait to expect the best of people. The real problem is with the family law system. Women are much less likely to be ordered to pay alimony or child support. I've never heard of a woman having income imputed to her, or being jailed for not paying child support (I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that it is pretty damn rare). I'm not…
/r/MensRights18/09/12 01:13 AM
2

There are a lot of ways to divide feminism into different groups/ideologies. Here's a better (IMO) way.
/r/MensRights17/09/12 10:13 PM
12

Feminism will solve all your problems, guys! There is no need for another group, we promise to represent your issues once we've dealt with any other issues that we deem more important. In fact, if you try to create your own group, we will ridicule and then destroy it! Yay Feminism! Just remember our slogan: "Feminism, it's for everyone" (and don't even think about challenging that).
/r/MensRights17/09/12 11:13 AM
2

I experienced this a little bit when my kids were younger (they're 12 and 14 now). To be honest, I think the fact that I just didn't give a fuck made me less likely to notice when it did happen. Also, if you are spending your time focusing on your own kids, you tend not to notice moms who stare, stiffen up, or who get up from the bench to hover next to their own kids when you enter the playground.
/r/MensRights14/09/12 04:29 PM
3

That sounds like a brutal schedule. I had a crazy schedule that lasted for 3 years when I was married and the kids were younger. It was really hard. I hope you can keep it up for longer, or work out ways with your wife to make it liveable.
/r/MensRights14/09/12 03:46 PM
4

You got downvoted, but I think your point is that "what about teh menz" shows that feminism really isn't paying attention to any men's issues.
/r/MensRights14/09/12 02:34 PM
3

That is a very nice thought. In the future, I see men's rights and women's rights groups working together on most issues. While this is entirely possible, there will always be a few issues where these groups have some disagreements. In order to work through these conflicting issues, each group does need to have an effective organization representing their concerns. At this time, unfortunately, women's rights are represented primarily by Feminism. Feminism actively works against the concept that …
/r/MensRights14/09/12 12:52 PM
2

I think the anti-cheating bias on reddit is really what's being seen here. It's too bad in this case. Yeah, he fucked up by cheating, as did his wife, but they lost their son and he doesn't want to lose his marriage now too.
/r/MensRights13/09/12 02:16 PM
3

Atheism+ is an SRS subreddit.
/r/MensRights13/09/12 11:43 AM
4

Feminist theory is a part of sociology, which is a subset of science. So denying feminist theory is denying science. You can't argue with logic!
/r/MensRights13/09/12 11:26 AM
3

My wife did 44 of these things to me when we were married... and we had a pretty good marriage.
/r/MensRights12/09/12 11:13 PM
10

Bias against men don't real because... ummmm... patriarchy... and oppression! yeah, that's the ticket!... ummm... and institutional something or other.... and, oh yeah - privilege!
/r/MensRights12/09/12 08:32 PM
3

... and because that option is more generally available to them.
/r/MensRights12/09/12 05:25 PM
6

...you have better luck avoiding a divorce if you pick a woman who is stable. Avoiding divorce by not marrying is much more reliable than trying to figure out if someone is not only stable, but will remain stable for the next 60 years. The marriage contract is badly skewed against men. If men actually saw it written on paper and had to sign it to get married, the marriage industry would collapse.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 10:30 PM
5

There are some issues where they will conflict, but you're right, they can coexist.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 10:25 PM
4

Not only is feminism not inclusive of men, it includes a rigid denial that men have issues worth discussing.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 09:18 PM
3

This could be a very useful graph... would you suggest I pick whatever I want on the vertical axis to help me support my own arguments?
/r/MensRights11/09/12 06:41 PM
1

That is true :(
/r/MensRights11/09/12 11:37 AM
1

Me? Or PopeJohnson? When a relationship terminates, it doesn't have to be unfair. I think that's what this really boils down to. Just because one side spent more time trying to make it work than you would have, doesn't mean they should be fucked over for it.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 05:22 AM
2

What is the longest relationship you've had? Have you had one over 10 years? Your comment implies judgment, and I'm curious what your basis of this judgment is.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 04:55 AM
3

You can safely ignore this IAMA. This is a feminist. Feminism, as we know it, is dying. It will modify and become a a different animal over the upcoming years, but right now, people know that feminism is a bad word because of what it has become. She answered a lot of questions in a reasonable way, but ctrl-F for "child support" or "alimony" or "violence" and there are no answers, only questions.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 02:19 AM
3

I would not like that either. My situation was somewhat different than most. I was only saying that I can understand the thought behind alimony. One of the problems that men face is that many women have the choice to do nothing and get paid for it. They have the choice to stay home with the kids. Men do have the latter choice, but it's not common and it's not well-accepted, even by many feminists who just want men to man up. The fact is, you're ex-wife sounds like a piece of shit. Mine is not, a…
/r/MensRights11/09/12 01:53 AM
17

I'm paying some alimony, but it's not a ton. In my case, my wife and I made a joint decision for her to quit working and raise the kids. I am fine paying alimony for a few years until she's solidly back in the working world. We negotiated outside the court system... the way custody, alimony, and child support are handled in the courts is atrocious.
/r/MensRights11/09/12 01:00 AM
1

Can anyone explain to me how fraternities and sororities were an exception? It sounded like they were no different.
/r/MensRights10/09/12 07:58 PM
1

Women can be wonderful. Just know that things can change over time. Kids can be wonderful too, but they are a major sacrifice. Be very careful when considering marriage. As great as marriage can be, and as much as you'd like to prove that you really love and are committed to your SO, if it ends, the contract is stacked heavily against you. Like I said, things change over time, so viewing your incredible relationship today has a lot less bearing on what it will be like 20 years from now than you …
/r/MensRights07/09/12 05:54 PM
5

This is a case of cognitive dissonance. People don't want to believe that bad things can happen to them. They want to believe that they have more control over their lives than they really have. When they see someone being majorly fucked over, they will not allow themselves to empathize because then they'd have to admit to themselves that it could also happen to them. As a result, they look for reasons that this happened - reasons that would not apply in their own situations.
/r/MensRights07/09/12 05:41 PM
4

Tweebo is pretty much reddit in a nutshell.
/r/MensRights07/09/12 03:09 AM
1

I have RES. How does it tell you the order of up/down votes?
/r/MensRights06/09/12 11:07 PM
21

Now, men’s rights groups are pushing another bill that would change court guidelines in custody proceedings, moving from the standard of doing what is in the best interest of the child to making shared custody the default. That sounds reasonable enough—good parents should certainly be able to play a meaningful role in their children’s lives after a divorce—but the proposed law has no provision for judges to determine whether one of the parents was violent in the relationship, which is a pretty g…
/r/MensRights06/09/12 11:02 PM
1

Men are visual, women not so much. I think the feelings you generate in a woman come first from status but also from how you conduct yourself. Looks are part of the status picture, but not the whole picture, especially for women.
/r/MensRights05/09/12 02:05 PM
2

I'm guessing he has no trouble finding women who are interested.
/r/MensRights05/09/12 01:43 PM
1

I've always thought of it as status and feelings. Looks boost status, as does money, so to me 'status' covers all of these. Women also pay a ton of attention to the feelings that a guy gives her. That's what game is about and why it works - it's designed to make her have positive feelings and boost your status in her mind.
/r/MensRights05/09/12 01:40 PM
1

I think the definitions of "asshole" and "treat women like shit" are important here. Nobody wants to be treated like shit, however it's pretty typical for women to be attracted to guys who ooze confidence. Confidence is a funny thing, though, because it can and often does have a close relationship with very unfavorable traits, such as selfishness, narcissism, or sociopathy. Then there's the fact that a lot of women have this crazy need to "cure" men of their dark triad traits, as if this will no…
/r/MensRights05/09/12 01:25 PM
3

I am discriminated against because of my gender all the time, just like women are, but I'm not going to bitch about it too much because I'm not willing to become a victim of my own circumstances. That said, I recognize that men don't have much of a voice these days, and that's why I come here from time to time.
/r/MensRights05/09/12 04:35 AM
12

It does to me.
/r/MensRights25/08/12 12:54 AM
26

I have no problem with this. Fathers and mothers generally provide different things to their children, and they are both important.
/r/MensRights24/08/12 11:16 PM
2

This whole ruling seems to open a bigger can of worms than existed beforehand.
/r/MensRights23/08/12 10:03 PM
3

Well, technically, rapists do kill women sometimes... or she could die due to complications of pregnancy or abortion. The whole post almost looks like a false flag, but I don't think it is.
/r/MensRights22/08/12 11:29 PM
1

Well, thanks for coming here and providing an explanation.
/r/MensRights22/08/12 01:35 AM
2

Men and women can both be incredibly shallow. There's no benefit to determining which is shallower.
/r/MensRights22/08/12 01:14 AM
1

If I read you correctly, the bias, if it can be called that, is that these posts get reported more than others.
/r/MensRights22/08/12 01:04 AM
4

This is not the subreddit for this question. Go to /r/sex or /r/askwomen, perhaps.
/r/MensRights21/08/12 05:51 PM
2

IANAL. You can probably still do a lot of work pro se, but you at least need to consult a lawyer. You may have the upper hand right now with the default judgment, but it may not stay that way. Be careful going fully pro se, some hearings will definitely be best with a lawyer, although you can probably do a lot of the legwork and maybe some of the hearings yourself. I assume there are a bunch of things you need to do at this point to satisfy future requirements, and you will need experienced advi…
/r/MensRights18/08/12 04:35 PM
1

I feel like my take that I described above is more egalitarian than telling men and women that they should not choose traditional roles, or whatever roles they personally feel are best for themselves. I saw how Feminism over the last 30 years affected men and women I knew, saw how it tried to shame them into roles and behaviors that they believed would push the Feminist agenda forward. This made it really hard on some of my friends, while others just disavowed Feminism eventually. I think that k…
/r/MensRights18/08/12 04:17 PM
1

Why would musical artists have to send a consistent message across all their songs?
/r/MensRights17/08/12 03:19 PM
2

There is nothing wrong with a woman expecting her meals to be paid for on dates. If you don't like it, then you say no, or you don't date her. There is something wrong with society shaming a man who either a) wants to pay for those meals, or b) doesn't want to pay for those meals. The guy didn't say that his is the only proper way to treat a lady. He simply implies that he likes his role as a man.
/r/MensRights17/08/12 03:14 PM
3

You hop on a Men's Rights Forum where we proport to be all about equality... Is that your definition of the MRM, or is that how all MRAs feel? I don't see it being 'all about equality'. The ideal that I see includes the freedom for individuals and families to make their own choices (without societal shame), while maintaining general equality in terms of legal rights, by treating all people the same under the law. There are 2 aspects to this, the societal aspect and the legal aspect. Legally, equ…
/r/MensRights17/08/12 03:00 PM
4

Some people like the roles they were taught. That in itself doesn't imply that other roles are the incorrect way, nor does it imply that they think other roles are wrong. He is comfortable with this role, and likes that it was passed down from his dad. Nothing wrong with that.
/r/MensRights17/08/12 02:42 PM
2

Dismissal followed by ad hominem. Very nice, but I must take off points for not mentioning the Patriarchy. I give that commenter an A- in gender feminism.
/r/MensRights17/08/12 01:31 PM
2

See, it's funny. Many people will say they want to 'abolish' traditional gender roles. However, I think that if pressed, they'd tell you that they are OK with people following these traditional roles, as long as it's not forced on them. Since you are choosing to go along with some of them, you must be part of the problem. The downvotes are because people aren't thinking.
/r/MensRights17/08/12 01:26 PM
9

There is a lot of frustration here. That happens when the rest of the world ridicules you and thinks your issues don't really matter. Thanks for looking past that frustration and seeing the realities that are affecting real people... men and women alike.
/r/MensRights15/08/12 01:21 AM
1

While I agree with your sentiments, he was the one who initiated the divorce. FYI, Pat Conroy is the author. He's an incredibly talented, very well-known writer.
/r/MensRights14/08/12 03:26 PM
4

"this"? You mean men's rights? I can't tell you whether it's an egalitarian movement or not at this time. A lot of people claim it is, but that doesn't make it so. But why does that matter, if you consider and agree with my 2nd paragraph above? In my opinion, men's issues do deserve consideration. So, what group is going to represent men and their issues? Do you think Feminism is the best organization to represent and fight for men's issues? I don't think it is, especially when you consider that…
/r/MensRights12/08/12 11:27 PM
4

Um, both might be misinformed, but that's beside the point. What you haven't seemed to realize is that when you are dealing with equal rights based on gender, each side really needs their own movement. If these movements respect and accept each other, consensus will be reached on most issues pretty easily. However, there will always be issues that are more contentious. To think that a single movement like feminism will represent all people is ridiculous. And yet, that is what most feminists want…
/r/MensRights12/08/12 11:05 PM
2

Generalizations are useful for people. I don't think you should question his/her desire to construct one. As for its accuracy, I can't say, but I will hazard a guess that the original poster projected his/her own feelings (when being cat-called or seeing someone cat-called) into the making of the generalization.
/r/MensRights10/08/12 05:07 PM
4

There have been a number of incidents where people post a self post, wait for a bunch of responses, and then edit the self post to make the responses look bad. This bot was designed to combat that by copying every self post.
/r/MensRights10/08/12 12:22 AM
4

Ah, but you challenged some core beliefs they have. It's clear that they've never challenged these core beliefs themselves, or they would never have acted that way.
/r/MensRights09/08/12 09:49 PM
1

It's called a "generalization".
/r/MensRights09/08/12 07:46 PM
4

I prefer open and free societies even if there is some harm from that.
/r/MensRights07/08/12 10:37 PM
2

...I was just shocked at how quick the population still thinks that the mother should always get the kids. That's the real problem. The default should be 50/50.
/r/MensRights06/08/12 11:13 PM
1

I'm not talking about a pre-nup. I'm talking about having it be standard practice, required by law, for the terms of a marriage to be in writing and signed by both parties. The marriage contract would have to follow applicable law, just like any other contract.
/r/MensRights06/08/12 08:28 PM
1

I think marriage should have a written contract that includes the terms of dissolution. If a couple decides that one will stay at home while the other continues a career, they can opt to add an addendum to the marriage contract to make up for potential loss of career to the stay-at-home parent. There would be a general marriage contract that most people would sign, but people would be free to modify it to fit their needs. As it stands right now, the terms of dissolution are not clearly spelled o…
/r/MensRights06/08/12 07:50 PM
1

there seems to be a lot of misogyny here Is anger directed in the general direction of feminism the same as misogyny? I don't think so. I think the terms "misogyny", as well as misandry and even racism, are thrown around way too much. why don't MRAs acknowledge that women are discriminated against too? Many do. The problem is that people here have such a difficult time getting their own message heard, that they become hyper-focused on getting it heard. Generally, when you bring up the concept of…
/r/MensRights03/08/12 01:49 PM
6

That's basically an extension of the belief that men are inherently bad.
/r/MensRights01/08/12 07:55 PM
2

Is this heretic suggesting that fish need bicycles?
/r/MensRights26/07/12 10:57 PM
17

Here's what I think: if someone is talking about male privilege, patriarchy, misandry and female privilege and sexism against men don't exist, etc., then walk away. This person is a gender/academic feminist. They are not an equalist, nor will they ever entertain the thought that men's issues might matter. Just walk away and spend your time talking to people who might listen to something you have to say.
/r/MensRights25/07/12 07:15 PM
9

So fathers have a right to see their children, but the judicial enforcement is an appeal to parents to uphold their responsibilities to their children? How about punishing parents who withhold their children from the other parent? That might make a difference, so that this won't happen time after time.
/r/MensRights25/07/12 01:51 PM
12

No, I don't think so. As a dad who was home with his kids quite a bit, I can tell you that it is hard being with kids all day long (although I'll never complain bitterly, because it's also very important and has long-term satisfaction). Still, it's boring and it's usually thankless. Of course, being the full-time worker in a family is usually boring, stressful, and thankless also. I think full-time parents want recognition and respect. I don't blame them for wanting this, but I also think that t…
/r/MensRights24/07/12 06:22 PM
3

And some very interesting observations about this can be found here.
/r/MensRights23/07/12 07:49 PM
1

Honestly, I'd wonder what's the deal with you if you were a guy who wore a skirt or dress. Is this right? Maybe not, but gender conventions usually don't bother me too much, so I really don't care about this issue. I like being a man and I want to feel like one in the way I dress and act. What you do is up to you, but people will probably treat you differently if you violate certain conventions. Personally, I don't think our conventions on clothing are a big deal, and as I said I even like them,…
/r/MensRights19/07/12 08:58 PM
3

There is no 45-50 age group. Also, I'm not subscribed to any of those subreddits, but it wouldn't let me submit it that way.
/r/MensRights19/07/12 12:00 AM
1

I don't really know. My point was that you need legal advice, at the very least.
/r/MensRights18/07/12 02:26 AM
3

Despite having a bad experience with your last lawyer, you really should consult another one. If you can't afford it, you can still do a lot of the work pro se, but you will need some basic advice in order to do this. See if you can line up an attorney (get recommendations so you don't get another shitty one), get an initial consultation, and just consult with them after that on an as-needed basis. Negotiate a decent hourly rate, if possible. Hopefully you'll just need a couple hours of billable…
/r/MensRights17/07/12 12:41 PM
0

I know the idea is to not blame the victim, but I don't get how this is helpful at all.
/r/MensRights17/07/12 01:06 AM
2

There has been a significant change in events. Call the lawyer ASAP, explain all.
/r/MensRights13/07/12 03:32 AM
5

This particular girlfriend seems to feel like her needs are important, and yours are unimportant. This isn't really a men's rights subject, you might try /r/relationships instead.
/r/MensRights12/07/12 07:39 PM
1

I am a father of 2 children. They are teens now, but when they were 7 and 9, I caught their mother cheating. Feel free to turn your anger into revenge fantasies, but there will be nothing good out of trying to exact revenge. Your Dad may be devastated for quite a while, just be there for him... be by his side as you take this woman completely out of your family's life. Being cheated on feels embarrassing at first. Quite often when you get the courage to tell someone that your wife cheated on you…
/r/MensRights12/07/12 02:22 PM
3

I don't want to go there to look at the comments, but I just imagine a lot of them being, "I wish more men were like that."
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:22 PM
5

Wow, the education system in America is in worse shape than I realized.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 02:05 PM
2

OK, think of it this way: a couple have a child; the mother leaves the father and is granted full custody despite the father wanting custody; the mother then abandons the child. Should the father have rights?
/r/MensRights10/07/12 07:40 PM
3

The simplest thing you can do is help people believe that men have important issues that shouldn't be overlooked just because they are men. Perhaps as a woman, you won't be dismissed as men generally are when they bring up their problems, and perhaps that will make a difference.
/r/MensRights10/07/12 07:14 PM
2

Feminist just means I believe in gender equality Nope. That is her definition of feminism. No matter how much people want to argue it, the "feminism" label will always imply a gynocentric viewpoint. We see this in actual practice, because many (most?) self-identified feminists are not so concerned with gender equality unless it's an area where women are seen as disadvantaged. Then there are the academic/institutional gender-feminists who have designed a whole field of social 'science' based on t…
/r/MensRights02/07/12 07:54 PM
3

This is similar to what I worked out in my divorce. My ex wife had left the workforce when our kids were born (her decision). As a result, 14 years later, she felt like she was way behind the curve in her career options. We agreed to split our paychecks for 5 years, thinking that was plenty of time for her to establish some kind of job history and career. However, there were minimum imputed income amounts which were designed to make it more painful over time if she didn't find a job. These imput…
/r/MensRights02/07/12 07:29 PM
2

How about, "what does it mean to be a good person", instead? That's a little more egalitarian. It means taking responsibility for your own actions, always trying to better yourself, and helping others. It means taking care of your family, and your friends when they need it. It means learning how to let go of your own ego when it gets in the way. It means knowing how to sometimes take a step backwards in order to move forward. It means being able to both give and receive love, comfort, empathy, a…
/r/MensRights19/06/12 10:32 PM
12

Personally, I think gender roles are fine. In fact, they can be helpful. However, I believe that people should be completely free to deviate from traditional or otherwise expected roles without shame (assuming that the deviation is not obviously harmful to themselves or others).
/r/MensRights19/06/12 10:21 PM
3

The author doesn't like that girls are often judged on their looks, but I'm a bit disappointed at the suggestion that girls should instead be judged on their abilities. How about judging people on what they bring to their family, friends, and society in general?
/r/MensRights19/06/12 04:57 PM
1

An egalitarian feminist (or MRA) is going to be looking at things more from a female (or male) perspective, possibly more concerned with their own gender's issues than those of other genders, while not dismissing those issues outright.
/r/MensRights19/06/12 04:13 PM
1

why all the hate? If you say 'feminist' here, the definition is one of a gynocentric feminist, not an egalitarian feminist. Here's a link for you that talks about this a little.
/r/MensRights19/06/12 02:22 PM
5

I'm not sure what your ex-wife's legal recourse might be, but child support is not intended to pay for parties. This should be something that you and/or your ex voluntarily do for your child. If you are not interested in contributing to her party, then you should not. Personally, if I were to be contributing, I'd want to be not only enthusiastically invited, but involved in the planning and execution, as well as being able to invite my own friends/family. If this were not the case, I'd consider …
/r/MensRights19/06/12 02:09 PM
3

You are not understanding the advice. You make a formalized agreement which will detail how things work. This might include vacation/holiday time, child care, first right to have the kids in certain situations, etc. You and your ex will be free to deviate from this agreement, but when you can't agree on said deviation, then the agreement takes precedence. The idea that you're working off a verbal agreement is not good. You and her both need to understand and formalize your various responsibiliti…
/r/MensRights18/06/12 10:30 PM
21

People are just ignoring so many MR issues as if they don't exist. This is why /r/mensrights is the way it is, because men's issues are tossed aside as unimportant by the general public. As a result, people here feel the need to post stories to prove things we already know (wage gap hyperboles, child support and custody issues, female violence, false rape accusations, sentencing disparities, the list goes on and on. For me, it gets old. I am looking forward to the day when MR is about activism, …
/r/MensRights12/06/12 07:15 PM
2

Don't leave the house without legal advice and representation. Go to a lawyer ASAP.
/r/MensRights12/06/12 06:39 PM
3

I don't deny that it plays a role, I was just responding to "Hypergamy doesn't care about how good of a guy you are." Just like with other instincts, this is one people can control. What surprises and scares me is when people deny that hypergamy exists.
/r/MensRights12/06/12 05:51 PM
5

It's a joke. Nothing wrong with it. There are plenty of similar writings about what women write on dating sites.
/r/MensRights12/06/12 05:48 PM
6

When I see these types of posters, I always come away from it feeling like I've been told that "all men are bad". That's what makes this a poor campaign, in my opinion.
/r/MensRights12/06/12 05:42 PM
3

Hypergamy is an instinct, not a hard and fast rule that women follow.
/r/MensRights12/06/12 11:54 AM
2

Wait a minute... so people with opinions based on personal experience need not comment? I don't see a lot of what you're talking about in this thread anyway, and what I do see (that's found it's way near the top) is not even close to shameful.
/r/MensRights08/06/12 10:58 PM
15

Are you a man? If so, have you ever brought up the subject of men's rights in public? It's generally laughed away, and people are quick to judge you as some kind of moronic idiot. A lot of the stuff here is a reflection of that. People just want to be heard sometimes. It's not surprising that, for many people, this is the only place where they can be heard.
/r/MensRights06/06/12 08:07 PM
8

Dude. On the one hand you want to avoid the 300k debt, but you're looking forward to the 250k income. She's in the same situation as you, she had to incur that debt in order to be able to make that income. At the same time, if you divorce and the debt is split without other considerations, it's not fair because that debt was used to give her a very high income potential. Talk to a lawyer and give an update.
/r/MensRights25/05/12 12:25 AM
6

Whoosh.
/r/MensRights25/05/12 12:16 AM
2

That really sucks. Try to keep the best interests of your kids in mind. Keep conflict away from them. Know that they need and deserve a good relationship with both parents, even if your wife is trying to undermine you. Divorce isn't fun, and it's not kind to fathers. While she can't take you for 'everything', she can probably get primary physical custody. Even if she does, you should have some time with your kids and you will always have an influence on your kids, so with whatever chances you ge…
/r/MensRights17/05/12 11:30 PM
1

Mens rights advocates will be looking at issues from a man's perspective, feminists from a woman's perspective. Equalists will be attempting to look at it from a neutral perspective.
/r/MensRights17/05/12 10:48 PM
4

The fact that she is stubborn, when it's clear that this is a problem for you, and the fact that you threatened to not sign the birth certificate and are worried that she'll 'screw you over' tells me that you two need to work on things. Seriously, get a marriage counselor. Do it for you and for your child. You do not have a good working relationship.
/r/MensRights17/05/12 10:46 PM
1

Good luck. Just remember, you gotta fight. for your right. to PARENT!
/r/MensRights17/05/12 10:38 PM
1

I believe it. I don't have a problem with no-fault, except that it has to be implemented in a fair system, and we don't have that.
/r/MensRights17/05/12 09:19 PM
4

It's shocking, but it's comforting to know that they don't hate men, because misandry doesn't exist. It must be benevolent misandry.
/r/MensRights17/05/12 05:13 PM
2

I have been in that situation. Not that it qualifies me as an expert, but I do know what it's like.
/r/MensRights16/05/12 07:49 PM
1

White-out looks like "gd" or "gi" to me.
/r/MensRights16/05/12 06:59 PM
1

I hope this article gets widely read.
/r/MensRights16/05/12 05:01 PM
3

Cheating is a horrible betrayal, but you can't just take everything they own.
/r/MensRights16/05/12 04:16 PM
2

Here's my understanding. No fault divorce means you don't need a reason, and even if you have one, it doesn't usually have much impact on the settlement. Most states in the US are no-fault states.
/r/MensRights16/05/12 04:08 PM
1

there needs to be a legal mirror I am a lukewarm supporter of some form of legal paternity surrender. At the same time, it's an area where it's impractical to attempt true equality. I think that if you try too hard to get equality, you can end up with more problems than you started with. While an egalitarian society might be the goal, it's important to be able to accept some inequalities and not try to balance every single one of them.
/r/MensRights14/05/12 03:28 PM
2

Some of the propaganda I've seen includes things like, "Next time you're with a woman, remember not to rape her". If the intention is to get men involved, then I don't understand how this accomplishes that. I notice that you didn't mention child custody and child support enforcement. Since you're in college, I understand why these aren't on your radar, but these are also very important issues.
/r/MensRights14/05/12 03:25 PM
3

It reminds me of this Louis CK bit.
/r/MensRights14/05/12 03:13 PM
2

I've never heard that 10% number, and I did some research a few years back because there was some question as to the paternity of my own kids. I have heard that around 30% of paternity tests are negative, but this is obviously a biased sample that cannot be used to draw conclusions about the general population. I do agree that paternity testing should be mandatory. It would add about 5% to the cost of a typical maternity bill. If father's rights aren't a good enough reason to do this, also consi…
/r/MensRights11/05/12 08:42 PM
-2

I apologize if you're not. There are a lot of trolls here and your post looked like trolling, especially the part talking about this subreddit applauding men who dodge child support. I haven't seen any of that here.
/r/MensRights11/05/12 12:45 PM
1

I went back and read the article. It's not biased. I'm not sure why I thought it was originally. Either way, I wasn't referring to the study being biased. It's one of the best-known and most-respected studies on this subject.
/r/MensRights11/05/12 12:42 PM
-8

You are not a very good troll.
/r/MensRights11/05/12 04:19 AM
3

I would work toward help people start taking making men's issues seriously and not dismissing them just because they are men. This is the biggest impediment behind every issue that the MRA is concerned with.
/r/MensRights11/05/12 02:19 AM
-1

Well, that article is pretty biased, but it's not too far off. The #1 reason is because they will get custody of their kids.
/r/MensRights11/05/12 02:00 AM
4

I hear you. I never contemplated suicide, but it really is hard to have your family destroyed like that and look back and wonder what was really real. I don't want any of your shit, BTW.
/r/MensRights10/05/12 10:36 PM
8

Part of is probably also because women are the instigators of about 70% of all divorces.
/r/MensRights10/05/12 10:34 PM
4

I don't have a problem with the typical 'stereotypes' for men. I do have a problem with people who bash those who diverge from those stereotypes. I have 2 daughters. I don't purposely push stereotypes on them, but I'm sure it happens without my intending, and I'm sure they have dozens of others (peers and people in the media) pushing them every which way also. Growing up has its difficulties. I'm not too worried about stereotypes... in a lot of ways people seem to fall into certain roles because…
/r/MensRights09/05/12 10:26 PM
3

Society does have expectations for women, and a lot of them are difficult and unfair at times. So it goes both ways, and probably always will. I do agree that men don't get much support, though.
/r/MensRights09/05/12 10:11 PM
13

The prototypical Nice Guy that gets the TM label is the one who acts like a butthurt asshole when some other guy gets the girl he was interested in. These are guys who are not really friends, they have an ulterior motive, but they play the part of being a friend. The 'TM' Nice Guy is not a sincere man.
/r/MensRights09/05/12 03:21 AM
8

Don't sweat it. It takes time to undo a lifetime of social programming. Just don't push it too hard.
/r/MensRights09/05/12 02:24 AM
5

Telling men to be white knights is a way to virtually castrate them. In my mind, it is similar to men telling women to be a good little monogamous slaves who should worship and submit to her man. It is effectively asking people to give up their own ambitions, thoughts, and needs.. their self, in essence... in return for some sort of reward. It is dysfunctional. There is no reward worth that sacrifice. How does this type of message get put into society?
/r/MensRights09/05/12 02:21 AM
6

My ex wife did this. There were extenuating circumstances, but I do appreciate that she didn't take advantage of the system. Studies have found that who gets the kids is the #1 predictor of divorce. This suggests that making custody more equitable will reduce the divorce rate.
/r/MensRights09/05/12 02:09 AM
3

Men's issues need to be taken seriously by the general population before we can effect much change. Unfortunately, we aren't there yet. I think this is because mainstream Feminism has been successful in pushing their core messages such as: men are privileged so it is impossible for men to be disadvantaged; and, there is no such thing as misandry or female privilege. How they got that completely ridiculous doctrine accepted by so many people, I don't know. For men's issues to be taken seriously b…
/r/MensRights08/05/12 04:09 PM
2

He wasn't telling you to say that. The advice was to not bother arguing with them. That means, letting it go, letting people be dimwits without feeling the need to let them know what you think. If you let yourself be preoccupied with people who are never going to pay attention to what you have to say, then you are as dimwitted as them.
/r/MensRights07/05/12 12:38 AM
6

The advice here is sound. However, this has to be extremely hard for you. As someone who doesn't even know you, I am sorry. I expect you're just dying inside right now.
/r/MensRights07/05/12 12:28 AM
1

It was a fake story. There was no real person raped or accused of rape who suffered. Just another idiot trying to get attention. Reddit was the victim, damage assessment: inconsequential.
/r/MensRights06/05/12 04:30 AM
2

To slightly expand your analogy, the premise that "Harry Potter exists" would be expected to be an established fact.
/r/MensRights06/05/12 04:25 AM
1

OK, since you asked I'll give you a few. Mind you, these are off the top of my head: Default custody in divorce Legal sentencing, in general for similar crimes Social services Another thing you could research would be why VAWA is not written with gender-neutral language.
/r/MensRights06/05/12 03:55 AM
1

You are still frustrated that these issues don't come up in feminist discourse? I suspect that you're trying to proselytize. Feminism and the MRM might have some common ground but where they don't is what matters and it is foolish to try to convert or even debate actual feminists in these arenas. It's just preaching to the chasm.
/r/MensRights06/05/12 03:49 AM
1

Usually I get acknowledgement that men do face problems. But I only ask people who I suspect are equalists at heart.
/r/MensRights06/05/12 03:27 AM
26

There is only male privilege, and it is invisible to all males. There is no such thing as female privilege. Anything which might resemble female privilege is probably benevolent sexism. Feminists who believe this will have all sorts of citations based on gender theory to back them up. They are also never going to listen to opposing viewpoints because this theory is ingrained in them so deeply. When I encounter these types, I just ask them questions so I can understand where they stand. Sometimes…
/r/MensRights05/05/12 04:22 PM
1

Where would those dollars go? I think the MRM is in its infancy. Eventually, money could go towards political aims, but right now it would probably be wasted. I'm not saying I have any real answers, but if you bring up men's issues, they are pretty much laughed off everywhere. Most people believe that it is impossible for men to have problems, or if they do, these problems are inconsequential. How do you change a mindset? We need a champion, but it's probably too early to have one that can make …
/r/MensRights05/05/12 03:39 AM
3

Just want to say, thanks for supporting your husband.
/r/MensRights05/05/12 03:24 AM
6

Newsflash: There are tradcons in the MRM. It doesn't mean that they define the MRM. Some PUAs may have an interest in men's rights, but seduction has nothing to do with the MRM. As for occasional links to these sites, if I went into /r/feminism and put up a link to SCUM, would that mean that I've redefined feminism? You are coming from a place of disinterest.
/r/MensRights04/05/12 09:02 PM
3

"You're a misogynist!" This is just an ad hominem derailing tactic. To be honest, probably the best thing to do is to not worry about it. People who do this don't want to listen anyway so, as you say, it's their way of eliminating the message from reaching their own ears. Move on and don't waste your time. "That sounds misogynistic to me" This is a different message. This is a person who is saying that they might be willing to open their mind a bit, or at least hear what you have to say. In the …
/r/MensRights04/05/12 08:55 PM
2

That was refreshing. Thanks for posting it.
/r/MensRights03/05/12 10:52 PM
1

Dividing family responsibilities is critical to family success and happiness. Just because many families choose to have the man work out of the house doesn't mean fathers aren't doing a lot of parenting. When I was married, I came home from work and took over most of the parenting. I fed my kids most nights and put my kids to bed every single night. When my kids started school, I was able to switch my work schedule to wake up at 3AM, and come home at 3PM. This did leave my (now ex) wife with the…
/r/MensRights03/05/12 05:12 PM
1

Roe v. Wade made abortion not only legal, but a protected right of women in every state. I don't think "Feminist" is the term you want. Perhaps you are an Equalist. Feminists are primarily concerned with rights affecting women and equality is secondary to this. There are a lot of women (and men) who are equalists, but who call themselves feminists. They (incorrectly) believe that the feminist label is the same thing. It seems common for them to relabel themselves after they realize what the labe…
/r/MensRights03/05/12 12:49 PM
1

Those numbers look wrong to me. The studies on marital infidelity I remember reading had almost identical numbers for men and women, each right around 50%. These studies did have difficulty making conclusions because women were significantly more likely to lie about affairs than men. As for this article, it is by a woman who was cheated on. She is obviously biased and is probably just looking for explanations to help her through this.
/r/MensRights03/05/12 12:38 PM
2

I don't know. I think it just takes time.
/r/MensRights02/05/12 05:47 PM
8

I'm a dad, and yes, it is commonly assumed that I am not very involved with my kids, that I am less capable of caring for them than a woman, and that I am not the decision maker when it comes to parental decisions.
/r/MensRights02/05/12 04:49 PM
3

It's a diversion tactic. It takes the focus off the topic. Most people who cry "misogynist" might as well be saying, "I don't care what you have to say, I just want you to stop talking about this so I can continue to believe what I want to believe".
/r/MensRights30/04/12 10:21 PM
2

My brother told me this subreddit is full of misogynists. His opinion is based on SRS. Your brother doesn't appear to be a very sound thinker. Yes, there are some misogynistic comments here and in lots of other subs on reddit. Downvoting, rather than banning, is the way to deal with those.
/r/MensRights30/04/12 03:38 PM
23

LOL. Could they be more transparent? viperz is a mod of /r/shitredditsays_ (note the underscore at the end, this is not SRS).
/r/MensRights26/04/12 12:46 AM
4

You are right. If you're thinking that you might be "settling", then you shouldn't be getting married. It's not fair to you, and even less fair to your partner who you supposedly love. That said, settling is a part of every relationship. Figuring out good settling vs. bad settling requires a thorough knowledge of yourself.
/r/MensRights26/04/12 12:41 AM
7

It's definitely tied to the same messages that contribute to divorce culture. Women are told that independence and singleness are empowering, men are told to provide for a family. Women are told that they "deserve" more, men are told that they deserve what they earn. Women are told not to settle, men are told to settle down.
/r/MensRights26/04/12 12:29 AM
3

Men using their upper hand in the dating market is behaving badly and being a misogynist How does taking advantage of the 30+ dating market classify a man as a misogynist? I agree with you, though, because women taking advantage in their 20s doesn't make them misandrists.
/r/MensRights26/04/12 12:13 AM
0

What do you think you deserve when you're thirty?
/r/MensRights26/04/12 12:08 AM
6

The MRM generally views feminism as not egalitarian at all - only helping women, while ignoring and marginalizing men's issues (at best). Most people here would align with an egalitarian movement, but not with feminism. It's tough, though, because there will be natural gender clashes on a lot of issues.
/r/MensRights20/04/12 12:52 AM
2

...or his daughter, if he's the father of teens like I am.
/r/MensRights19/04/12 11:46 PM
1

My ex and I didn't spend half what I'm handing over to her For child support alone, or does this include alimony? I have no idea how the celebrity cases get settled, but I don't think they're a good model for others to follow. I am not an expert on CS, but here's what Wikipedia says: Support monies collected are expected to be used for the child's expenses, including food, shelter, clothing and educational needs. They are not meant to function as "spending money" for the child.[9] Courts have he…
/r/MensRights19/04/12 11:10 PM
1

My understanding is that child support agreements are always modifiable. The back support might be something he could fight, but probably not future CS payments (just my common sense reasoning with a really noob-level understanding of the law - IANAL).
/r/MensRights19/04/12 11:00 PM
0

It's not a wealth distribution in principle - it's a parent paying for basic living expenses - things that wouldn't normally be deductible if that parent were in the home with the child full time. While it might seem more just and fair to have it be tax deductible, it is not deductible for valid reasons, and as such, this is not really an issue that is worth fighting for. If it were tax deductible for the paying parent, then the receiving parent would be paying taxes on it, and state governments…
/r/MensRights19/04/12 10:08 PM
2

Agreed - rewriting history to avoid taking responsibility is very common. It's ego protection.
/r/MensRights19/04/12 03:41 PM
1

Single dad here. This is not the standard rule I saw on playdates... although when my kids were young, I was not divorced yet. Still, I hosted many playdates myself without issue. Sometimes the other kids' parent wanted to be there for the first one (or two), but it never lasted past that. If you want to be in attendance when your kid goes to another house, you should insist on it.
/r/MensRights19/04/12 03:27 PM
-2

The woman is an idiot, but at the same time I have no sympathy for anyone who cheats.
/r/MensRights17/04/12 07:14 PM
1

Marriage as a contract is a relatively new thing To whatever extent this is true or not, it's hardly relevant because it is definitely treated as a contract today.
/r/MensRights17/04/12 04:29 AM
1

I'm curious what your stance is on men's rights? You seem to have a clear agenda, but I'm not sure what it is... and yet, this agenda seems somewhat in line with many agendas here. I get the feeling that you're trying to be a moderating influence. What is it?
/r/MensRights17/04/12 04:26 AM
2

Marriage is really a good thing. Unfortunately, the marriage contract is a really bad thing (for men, generally).
/r/MensRights17/04/12 03:46 AM
2

You have fallen into another fallacy. This woman has an opinion She defends her opinion with poor logic Therefore, her opinion is wrong I didn't say her position is valid, I said that just because she couldn't defend it doesn't make it invalid.
/r/MensRights14/04/12 12:58 PM
1

No
/r/MensRights14/04/12 12:57 PM
1

We studied it in 6th grade math. I just assumed this was common.
/r/MensRights14/04/12 12:56 PM
1

I want to add to this, though, for fairness. Just because she made a bad argument, it doesn't make her position invalid. People instinctively know this, and pointing out logical fallacies, while useful, rarely changes opinions.
/r/MensRights13/04/12 11:14 PM
5

I will be reading up on those, thank you.
/r/MensRights13/04/12 10:50 PM
5

Thanks for finding the more apt fallacy - I posted comparing it to a false syllogism.
/r/MensRights13/04/12 10:48 PM
74

I don't understand her point of view. Men should individually take responsibility for rape because most rapists are men? - All rapists are men. - All rapists should bear responsibility for their actions. - Therefore, all men should bear responsibility for rape. Isn't detecting false syllogisms elementary school material? Imagine posting some logical fallacy that leads to the false conclusion that "women should take responsibility for rape".
/r/MensRights13/04/12 10:45 PM
0

I think a bunch of sick individuals acted like sociopaths under the cover of internet anonymity, my good friend.
/r/MensRights13/04/12 12:02 AM
1

Women are sometimes lumped into a stereotype here, but this sub is fairly reasonable about that. In fact, I'd say it's way better than most of the top subreddits. You don't need to subscribe, but I hope you'll read here from time to time. The biggest frustration about supporting men's rights is that people don't take men's issues seriously, so just doing that will help.
/r/MensRights12/04/12 11:53 PM
1

So, ignore it. SRS is pretty much known across reddit as being ultra-radical and reactionary. The troll posts will be downvoted. They want your attention, you don't need to give it to them.
/r/MensRights10/04/12 04:08 AM
0

I don't know why people here are so put up about SRS. Just let them do whatever they want and move on.
/r/MensRights10/04/12 03:59 AM
2

There is at least one highly-publicized study that found the primary reason women file for divorce more than men is because they can expect custody of the children. (These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women, Brinig and Allen)
/r/MensRights07/04/12 03:21 PM
2

I don't consider generalizations sexist. Generalizing is a normal, healthy operation in our brains, it allows us to process more information. Sexism has to include discrimination based on generalization.
/r/MensRights05/04/12 10:08 PM
3

True, if by "cost-to-leave", you mean custody of the children. Studies have shown that custody expectations are the biggest factor in divorce decisions.
/r/MensRights05/04/12 10:02 PM
9

Why is it sexist?
/r/MensRights04/04/12 11:07 PM
2

Wow, she sounds rather quick to judgment, and spark-seeking is a poor way to find a mate.
/r/MensRights04/04/12 10:12 PM
3

Mens_Rights is a troll subreddit, supposedly created by some SRSers.
/r/MensRights04/04/12 10:07 PM
6

Supposedly it's because being an MRA only means that a person has an opinion on something and isn't significant enough.
/r/MensRights04/04/12 07:08 PM
7

For the sake of comparison, how many AMAs have there been from prostitutes/escorts?
/r/MensRights04/04/12 03:56 PM
7

The marriage contract terms of dissolution are very one-sided against men, and there is nothing wrong with advising men about this. I've negotiated dozens of business contracts, from $10,000 to over $3 million. We always spend the most time by far on the terms of dissolution and post-contract issues. Even the best relationships need to plan for what will happen if the relationship ends. If you don't have a fair deal in the dissolution, then not entering into the relationship is a reasonable deci…
/r/MensRights04/04/12 02:44 PM
1

You should get a lawyer to help you ASAP. I'm not really sure of the details (IANAL) but I believe that you may have a limited amount of time to file a change of circumstances. Are you aware of the Bradley Amendment?
/r/MensRights03/04/12 04:37 PM
1

No, I don't think it's a good retort. Blaming the victim in this way is a defense mechanism. It's a way to avoid the real truths behind an issue - usually that bad things can happen to good people. It's most often used as a way of dismissing problems, rather than addressing them, so while it's part of human nature, it doesn't have a place in an intelligent discussion. Here's an article that gives some examples.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 08:22 PM
1

Doesn't Mens rights only support rights for men? No, but like feminism does for women, the MRA primarily concerns itself with issues where men are specifically impacted in a negative way. Many of these issues are a direct result of feminist 'victories'. Examples would include father's rights and VAWA. This, in my opinion is the biggest problem for BOTH movements. You are an idealist, not a realist. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you want to see change, you have to align with r…
/r/MensRights02/04/12 07:50 PM
1

First off, Feminism is not fighting for equality. You need to understand that point before you can understand the point of view of the MRM. The MRM has very little power and Feminism has huge tracts of power. This means that there is a powerful element looking out for issues affecting women, and no corresponding power looking out for men (other than a few lucky men at the top). If the power balance were more equal, I wouldn't hate Feminism as much.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 07:07 PM
1

Who is saying "Man Up?" I think the most infamous recent writings are those by Kay Hymowitz and Bill Bennett.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 06:47 PM
4

It's hard for me to hear MRA complain about how women are the root of evil... I don't think MRA's say this about women. About modern feminism, yes, but not women.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 06:42 PM
2

The OP asked specifically about the legal system, and yes, it is a common tactic in trials to muddy the waters and put doubt into jurors' minds. It happens in murder trials, tobacco trials, etc. As for society, it's very common for people who hear about tragedies to use cognitive dissonance and subconsciously blame the victim so that they can continue to believe in their own safety. Blaming the victim like this is a normal human tendency.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 05:54 PM
4

I don't have statistics, but blaming the victim (man or woman) is pretty common in both criminal and civil cases.
/r/MensRights02/04/12 05:00 PM
7

OK, I can only give you my own impressions: Feminism is only concerned with issues where women are negatively impacted. This leaves many men's issues out of the picture, which is where the MRM comes in. Some issues pushed by feminism have unbalanced the playing field. An example is child custody, where mothers almost always have the upper hand, or VAWA where feminists have pushed an agenda allowing men to be punished without due process. These are issues where there might be consensus, except th…
/r/MensRights30/03/12 09:56 PM
1

I was a STEM student. Masters in Electrical Engineering from a pretty top US school. I suppose things could have changed since I was in school.
/r/MensRights30/03/12 11:47 AM
8

First off, you should consider what attracted you to these women to begin with. The problem could lie more with your choices of women. Second, if you're incompatible with someone who's ruled by emotion, then you need to cut things off more quickly if you find yourself with someone like this. Third, I'd consider posting this in /r/relationships, /r/ihaveissues, or /r/relationship_advice
/r/MensRights29/03/12 05:17 PM
0

I don't think it's the level of difficulty as much as it's the solitary nature of the work. STEM students don't work in groups or have discussions - it's just you, alone at your desk or in the library for hours, focused intently on a single concept. When you master it, you're the only one who recognizes it. You can't even discuss what you're working on or studying with other people. STEM fields are not very social. Women have plenty of brainpower and are fully capable of doing this, I just don't…
/r/MensRights29/03/12 03:06 PM
8

My understanding is that, between women and men with equal experience and doing the same job for the same hours, they are paid the same. If there's a discrepancy in 'hourly wage', I can imagine that it could be due to overtime, experience, or the fact that a higher percentage of women than men are working part time jobs.
/r/MensRights28/03/12 10:38 PM
1

Hmmm... I thought I posted this here, but maybe I didn't hit the 'save' button: SRS is its own deal, like many subreddits. Reddit users create subreddits and the moderators decide on and enforce standards. Every subreddit is different. In the case of SRS, if you are not onboard with the circlejerk, you are banned. This is not how most of reddit's subreddits work, but there are a few that work this way. /r/SRS and /r/pyongyang are the two that immediately come to mind.
/r/MensRights28/03/12 09:22 PM
8

The whole subject is very interesting to me, and I'd like to understand more of it. While shaming people who don't follow expected gender roles is wrong, it's my belief that having a role can be fulfilling and can provide a sense of security and comfort. Well-developed roles are a way of delegating and compromising to make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. You can't change one half's role and expect the other half to maintain theirs. We're in the middle of a fundamental change which w…
/r/MensRights28/03/12 09:18 PM
1

Since they filed so long ago, I'm assuming they've been negotiating a final settlement which typically includes listing all marital assets and debts. If the ring is not listed, he should probably speak to his lawyer to try and get it added. IANAL
/r/MensRights28/03/12 05:54 PM
1

Was there a legal separation agreement? Was the ring (hopefully) listed on a schedule of marital assets?
/r/MensRights28/03/12 05:04 PM
2

There have been a number of cases where a troll will put up a self-post, then after comments have been made, change the self post so that this subreddit looks bad. This bot was made to curb that problem and every self post receives this treatment now.
/r/MensRights28/03/12 04:51 PM
1

While prenups are not perfect and can be thrown out, they are better than nothing if you must get married. IANAL, but I'd think that you should have a prenup that specifies that your existing assets and certain future assets (i.e. inheritances) will be yours. Keep them in your name, and understand how to keep these assets safe (e.g. are there consequences if you routinely transfer money from your account into a marital account). Since you have money and are wondering about this, go to a lawyer a…
/r/MensRights28/03/12 01:27 PM
3

I'm most proud of the decisions that I've made in my life. I always strive to do the right thing, for me, for the people around me, and for society in general. It's not always easy, but I can look back on my life and state with confidence and pride that I've done a good job.
/r/MensRights28/03/12 01:01 PM
10

We like gww because her thoughts are well-organized and well-presented. On top of this, since she's a woman, people outside the MRA will not dismiss her immediately for her gender.
/r/MensRights27/03/12 08:32 PM
23

Well, the article basically amounts to another "man up" piece, ala Bennett, Hymowitz, and others. Men have realized how stupid these articles are now, and as a result, they are quick to respond.
/r/MensRights27/03/12 08:19 PM
27

I have known a lot of men whose wives make more than they do. I was in this situation myself for the first few years of my marriage. It's never been a problem at all to me or any of my friends in this situation. When I have heard people suggest there are problems when the woman makes more than the man, it's always been a woman suggesting it in an article or on a dating site. Is it possible that this is just projection, or is there some truth to this?
/r/MensRights27/03/12 06:21 PM
2

The pottery analogy is not quite correct. It would be more apt to ask whether it makes sense to take out a 30 year loan for a kiln (with most of your life savings as a down payment) if you know that there is a 50% chance that the kiln will explode some time in the next 20 years. This doesn't even cover it, because it only describes the financial impact, not the emotional impact of divorce and losing time with your children. Bottom line: the incentives and disincentives for divorce need to be equ…
/r/MensRights27/03/12 11:26 AM
1

In many cases, people who yell "sexist", "misogynist", or "racist" are doing so because they take issue with the method with which a person uses to express themselves, rather than what they're trying to express. I don't like this, it's not constructive. While rational discussion is necessary, do we really need to silence all emotion? Do we really need to discount everyone who is hurting and attempt to silence them if they make the slightest mistake in trying to express themselves? Doesn't this j…
/r/MensRights27/03/12 03:29 AM
3

He's not racist, he's just got a point he wants to make and he is ill-prepared to make it. I don't even know what point he wants to make other than "white men have it good, so if you are classified as one, shut the fuck up." I think he has something intelligent to proffer, but he was unable to do it in this article, and in the comments he is even worse.
/r/MensRights27/03/12 02:39 AM
3

This really isn't the subreddit for this. Maybe we need a /r/genderrelations subreddit
/r/MensRights27/03/12 02:29 AM
3

Alimony seems to go hand in hand with custody. What I mean is, if women are routinely getting primary custody and have the children 80% of the time, it is very hard for them to also work full time. Alimony should be a temporary thing to help the former stay-at-home spouse get back into the workforce (like unemployment), but it will only work that way if we can get 50/50 custody to be the default.
/r/MensRights27/03/12 01:25 AM
4

You know what - I kind of agree because, in principle, marriage is a really good thing. However, given the current landscape of marriage for men, I will always caution any men who ask me to stay away from marriage (or at least have a pre-nup).
/r/MensRights27/03/12 01:08 AM
5

Feminism is not women. In fact, most women that I know who identify as feminists are really equalists - they just (incorrectly) think that feminism and equalism are the same things. A victory for feminism is a loss for MR Not true at all. However, the fact that feminism only concerns itself with problems that women face means that a lot of their "victories" do hurt men. The MRM exists because men's issues are ignored by feminists, and men want a voice. Right now, men don't have much of a voice. …
/r/MensRights26/03/12 10:40 PM
32

This expresses a lot. A lot of it is similar to what I've experienced in 45 years, being the son of and then husband of a feminist, being mentored my whole life almost entirely under feminism... and having to live to those ideals, which don't always seem congruent with who I am. I am not bad, just because I'm male. I am not the Patriarchy. I am not Oppression. I am a person.
/r/MensRights23/03/12 03:37 AM
7

Studies I've seen suggest that women and men cheat about the same amount. Basically, about 50% of all married people will cheat in their marriage at some point, man or woman. Prior to marriage, I have no idea.
/r/MensRights22/03/12 11:43 PM
8

I am fully in agreement that men and women are different and our gender roles developed in order to make the most of these differences. However, highlighting brain size differences is just throwing gasoline on the fire.
/r/MensRights21/03/12 01:26 AM
6

I'm not seeing why this is relevant to men's rights.
/r/MensRights21/03/12 01:15 AM
3

Go through this post It was started today with a similar premise.
/r/MensRights21/03/12 12:56 AM
2

I would congratulate you, but I'm too busy moving to Norway right now...
/r/MensRights20/03/12 11:51 PM
-6

You are asking in the wrong place. There are a lot of men here who have had big problems in family court and/or with child support. This means this issue is a big trigger here, and you're likely to evoke anger - not at you, but triggers can cause people to vent. That said, you should consult a lawyer to see what is considered reasonable and customary in your case, then negotiate a settlement, and get it in writing with input from your respective lawyers.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 11:49 PM
3

OK, this is getting long so I'm going to stop. I do want to say that I think you may have felt somewhat attacked here, but your viewpoint and your opinions were interesting to me, and I appreciate that you posted here on MR.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 11:42 PM
2

Not everybody is right about what feminism is. I saw a definition on /r/AskFeminists. To paraphrase, feminism believes that inequality exists, and takes actions to address inequalities that negatively affect women. To me, this is how feminism seems to be applied in practice. Feminism is becoming a bad word, but it's just a word. It's not really important to reclaim that word. Either way we agree that oppression derives from institutions. I'm not sure I'd put it that way, but it's close enough. I…
/r/MensRights20/03/12 10:28 PM
5

Feminism obviously means something different to you, and that's part of the problem - it means different things to different people. In its essence, feminism is not evil, but the general feeling here is that the feminism that is currently in power primarily pays attention to how issues impact women, and primarily works toward improving life for women, with apparently little regard for how anything might impact men. You say that feminism requires understanding the psychological nature of the rela…
/r/MensRights20/03/12 08:46 PM
4

When something goes wrong in a relationship, the first question most people ask is, "what did he do wrong?" It doesn't even matter if the wife was cheating - in those cases, the common first thought is that the husband must have driven her to cheat. If the husband is the one cheating, then he's an asshole. The first thought is always to blame the man, and it makes me really angry that this is so ingrained in all of us.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 03:21 PM
1

I went back about a week. I'm sure you're right, I just didn't look back far enough.
/r/MensRights17/03/12 03:14 PM
3

I just went on his FB page and didn't see and links to RadFemHub.
/r/MensRights17/03/12 02:39 PM
1

I went to his FB page and couldn't find that. The image is either a fake or he deleted it.
/r/MensRights17/03/12 02:34 PM
3

Don't jump to conclusions. While it looks like that, any 10 year old knows how to create a fake facebook post.
/r/MensRights17/03/12 02:31 PM
31

They may be on the hunt for a man, or even looking to take advantage of some man, but I wouldn't assume either. More likely, they are friendlier and more accepting people now that they've grown up. That's my way, though - I usually give the benefit of the doubt toward assuming good intentions.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 09:21 PM
3

You can't open peoples' ears for them. You can, however, express your opinions in a dignified, non-threatening way and you can stop yourself from getting dragged into pointless arguments. If you feel like you have to "win" everyone over, then you're going to suffer much frustration.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 09:00 PM
5

People often get called "misogynist" when they challenge or don't fall in line with someone's beliefs. It's a derailing tactic, and it's pretty effective in today's ultra-PC world. This is why, in my opinion, the MRM should avoid shouting "misandry". It's not helpful, and results in division, rather than cooperation or even status quo.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 07:12 PM
8

Well, I see that as sexism rather than misogyny, but I'm just splitting hairs here.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 04:22 PM
5

Family matter are private... Yeah, I don't know what "openly hoped" means, but I presume it means she was making public statements about it. Off topic, but I had totally forgotten about Ted Forstmann... it made me laugh again when I saw his name and all I could remember was how he had been portrayed in "Barbarians at the Gate".
/r/MensRights16/03/12 04:15 PM
1

Good point. Many people also connect their own identities to their beliefs. Changing or challenging these beliefs is going to bring up all sorts of defense mechanisms.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 01:46 PM
3

am I wrong in thinking the base of feminism is just gender equality? It cannot be truly based on gender equality if one gender is missing from the discussion. 'Feminism' as viewed and practiced in the real world has many forms. For some people, feminism is egalitarianism, for others it is about women's issues only, without regard to how men are affected. Feminism is a bit of a loaded term. Most of the MRM is in favor of egalitarianism, and dislikes feminism that does not consider men's rights. T…
/r/MensRights16/03/12 12:38 PM
5

I would agree with that. Edit: I want to add that people who try to give out labels of "misogynist" or "misandrist" or "sexist" or "racist", really don't help. It not only derails all possible discussion, it hurts their own cause as well. It's so common, and it really bothers me.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 12:28 PM
3

Ummmm... OP has been posting on SW. Can you take your shit to some place where you're not going to ruin real lives please?
/r/MensRights16/03/12 12:14 PM
2

Thanks for writing that, I can relate to how you feel.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 12:06 PM
2

Is that the scene where the wife calls the police, they come in and ask if Walter has done anything wrong? If so, I thought it was awesome.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 02:27 AM
3

I'm not sure how she can sum up my life experience better than I can... but that's what she did. That video was fantastic.
/r/MensRights16/03/12 02:20 AM
0

I don't think you're trolling.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 11:57 PM
3

If you hate the NAACP, or the AARP, or Planned Parenthood, or the NCAA, does that mean you also hate black people, old people, people who have sex, and college athletes? You're off base. You can have a problem with an organization that supposedly represents and fights for a group, with out hating that group itself.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 09:05 PM
0

I'm not sure what brought each individual person here, but I assume it's because they or someone they know faced a serious issue in their life that was made worse for them simply because they were men. Examples: paternity fraud, jailed for losing your job and not being able to pay child support, false rape claims, false DV claims, loss of parental rights, loss of access to your children, etc. If you've gone through any of these horrific scenarios, you will tend to care more. You don't have to ca…
/r/MensRights15/03/12 04:54 PM
6

manboobz is from manboobz.com. It's an anti-MRA site, I guess, and I don't have a problem with it although it does the typical cherry picking of comments to prove their own point that you see everywhere, so it's not without its faults. It's comments are generally fairly mild and thoughtful, so it's worth a look, but if you do, you should acquaint yourself with what's here on /r/mensrights also.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 03:26 AM
0

We are a unique situation because we are the first civil rights movement where the members are considered "privileged." True, but as almost 50% of the population, we actually do have some power. I agree that whining is worthless and looking at what many other minorities did is probably worthless. But looking at what women did, that's worthwhile.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 03:14 AM
2

Not sure if Fry meme applicable... or GGG.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 02:25 AM
-1

Are rants not welcome? This idea that everything has to be measured can go too far. Maybe there should be a /r/mrrants subreddit?
/r/MensRights15/03/12 01:58 AM
7

The answer is no. There are some people here who have (for some reason that we'll never know) seized upon and identified themselves with their hatred for women. There are misogynists here and elsewhere on reddit. There are others here who will express frustration about the problems they face. It is not uncommon for this expression to be anti-woman. This does not make that person a misogynist. Disliking feminism but being pro-equality also does not define a person as a misogynist. This is a forum…
/r/MensRights15/03/12 01:30 AM
2

Well, OK. But in doing that, I think it should be for your own benefit only, not to try and get someone else to become more in line with your viewpoint. What that means is, respecting the thread, and asking intelligent questions.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 12:54 AM
1

I thought it was a good, well-written rant, and expresses the frustration that many men feel: they feel either disenfranchised or like targets of society; someone to marginalize and get rid of, rather than part of some oppressive class.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 12:46 AM
2

She's probably been waiting for this moment, and if that's so, she has you right where she wants you. If you've been putting up with abuse for a while, then you are having trouble leaving, but I hope you'll find a way to do it. You are not a loser. You just have to get away from this woman so that you will be able to prove this to yourself.
/r/MensRights15/03/12 12:23 AM
2

Interesting look back at some of the tactics used to encourage the suffrage message.
/r/MensRights14/03/12 06:14 PM
8

If it's question 5 on page 10: Note that it says "never" hit a woman. Because of that it doesn't means that other 8% are saying that they would always hit a woman who makes them angry. All we can infer about this is that the 8% can envision a situation where they would.
/r/MensRights14/03/12 05:21 PM
5

Men want marriage too. I know that I do. But I (sometimes) advocate against it because it's not a good idea for men right now. It is not your fault that some men are deciding against marriage. I hope that if you do get married, or whatever you decide, that it works out wonderfully for both of you.
/r/MensRights14/03/12 12:16 AM
4

Meaningless article, other than to show that the MRM is getting some notice.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 11:14 PM
-5

I agree. You make choices, you live with the consequences. It's maybe not very enlightened of society to do this, but it's not unexpected.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 09:27 PM
2

Can you expand on this? My understanding is that the rights are pretty much the same.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 03:56 PM
1

Not as far as I'm aware.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 03:56 PM
2

You don't have to be married to have kids.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 03:35 PM
3

The situation sounds somewhat fair to me, actually, since you are still married. Maybe your lawyer can help you find ways to speed up the divorce? I'd be worried about your ex wife trying to delay the divorce, so maybe you should talk to your lawyer about that also.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 03:12 PM
1

I said "was" because my kids are no longer in diapers. The common misconception I sense is that dads don't get very involved with their kids until they are older.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 02:21 PM
1

I agree, and to be honest, I would like to be able to laugh at things like the huggies ad, but it strikes a couple of raw nerves. I was a very involved dad. It was at first comforting and a source of pride to hear people tell me what a great dad I was. After a while, though, I could see that it wasn't really a compliment. What they saw me doing ran counter to their internal beliefs, and rather than challenge their own misconceptions about fathers, they held me out as the exception.
/r/MensRights13/03/12 01:27 PM
1

Have you read Roy Baumeister's presentation to the American Psychiatric Association?
/r/MensRights12/03/12 09:35 PM
9

I've read articles describing how, even in areas where men and women are equal on average, men tend to have wider distributions. An example is IQ. Men and women have almost equal IQs on average, but there are more men in the lower IQ ranges and more men in the upper IQ ranges, meaning, their distribution is wider. If this is also true when it comes to ability in chess, it would be another possible explanation of why there are very few women at the very highest level.
/r/MensRights12/03/12 12:32 PM
2

They are both valid solutions which result in more equity.
/r/MensRights11/03/12 02:06 PM
4

I would assert that MRA trolls have infiltrated SRS This is what I was responding to. SRS is fully capable of making themselves ridiculous without help from any outside trolls.
/r/MensRights11/03/12 12:46 AM
2

I would think there would be pro-life MRAs. Why? Because it would make women and men more equal in their reproductive rights. Not equal, mind you, but more equal. I tend to fall on the pro-choice side, but it's a difficult issue.
/r/MensRights11/03/12 12:45 AM
7

I would hope that MRAs are not trolling there. Doing so would not be doing any good. Let the SRS folks say whatever they want over there.
/r/MensRights11/03/12 12:41 AM
3

Welcome. My personal biggest issue is father's rights. Child support, custody, reproductive rights, those things. There are a lot of other valid and important issues, but these are what got me involved. I also don't like that men's issues are not given much real credence in society, so it's great when people like you take the time to show that you are paying attention and listening - thanks.
/r/MensRights10/03/12 04:03 AM
2

That's what I'm getting at. If there were a contract, not only would it be enforced differently, but the terms of dissolution would be spelled out for both parties to see, clearly and unambiguously. If it existed today, men who read the contract would clearly see the problems. Each state would have their own standard contract, although couples would be free to modify it to their own needs, if desired. Post-marriage issues could be handled without court involvement in many cases, because it's all…
/r/MensRights09/03/12 04:21 PM
10

I'd love to be able to endorse marriage, but I can't. This is a small step in the right direction, though. I'm starting to wonder whether there should be a standard marriage contract that men and women sign.
/r/MensRights09/03/12 04:07 PM
2

Is this article for real? I mean, isn't this common knowledge?
/r/MensRights09/03/12 04:03 PM
1

A woman can choose abortion, and the man can say nothing. I have some problems with this, but I can understand the need to prioritize between a man's reproductive rights and the woman's right to make decisions concerning her own body. I can also understand many cases where a woman gets custody over a man. However, this is different. If a woman is considering adoption, the father should be given the chance to claim his full parental rights. There should be some exceptions, but a one-night stand s…
/r/MensRights08/03/12 07:25 PM
1

When men and women have different roles in the sexual marketplace, this type of thing isn't a double standard, it's a consequence of the roles that have been established for them.
/r/MensRights08/03/12 05:33 AM
4

I'm assuming it's because looking out for the rights of women (which is how many people identify with feminism) is not mutually exclusive to looking out for the rights of men.
/r/MensRights08/03/12 05:14 AM
4

I thought it was very interesting to see the process by which this group (mostly the original poster) was trying to define oppression. It seemed to be outcome-dependent.
/r/MensRights07/03/12 02:49 AM
2

I had an amicable divorce, with what I consider to be a fair settlement, but learning about the divorce and custody process made me see the problems in the system.
/r/MensRights06/03/12 11:03 PM
1

I never understood how crying "misogyny" during a constructive discussion can be construed as anything but an ad hominem with the purpose of derailing said discussion. I also don't see the point in belaboring the argument over whether misandry does or doesn't exist.
/r/MensRights06/03/12 10:37 PM
3

Awkward, right? But I'd trade one awkward situation for a few weeks or months of wondering and being strung along. You do have some options, and one of them is to just continue the date. That might seem to be the considerate thing to do, but then again, it's not very considerate of her to not even hold hands, because her accepting the date was an implicit suggestion of interest in you to begin with. So, ending the date right then and there is not inappropriate either, although you might say some…
/r/seduction06/03/12 02:11 PM
1

Sorry for the rant. In a lot of ways I was addressing other people who said, "you don't want to have your hand out and get denied". That's the totally wrong attitude... no wonder guys get stuck in the friendzone! Basically, after you go to dinner and have fun together, you find an opportunity to take her hand. If she denies you, she's telling you what she doesn't want to say out loud, and you cut your losses.
/r/seduction06/03/12 05:34 AM
1

Are you still interested? If so, find out if she's interested and, if she is, push the agenda. Simple. You just have to be willing to face the fact that she might not be interested.
/r/seduction06/03/12 05:15 AM
12

You're missing something. If you're on a date, holding hands is expected. If she rejects this, then you have valuable information: she isn't interested, so stop wasting your emotional energy. She's doing you a favor by letting you know. Would you rather be strung along? What you and other guys need to internalize is that rejection is not the end of the world. You need to know what you're looking for and cut your losses when you have to. You can't give another person the power to destroy you. I h…
/r/seduction06/03/12 05:13 AM
1

I remember reading Asimov's Chronology of the World and this idea of taking slurs and embracing them was especially prevalent. It's a wonderful book, I highly recommend it to you... however, "misogyny" is not the right word to embrace.
/r/MensRights06/03/12 12:41 AM
2

Sorry, but I'm gonna throw my "you go boy" at this website. It's boys being boys, and I hope we never lose that, even though the world seems to be trying to make maleness shameful.
/r/MensRights06/03/12 12:36 AM
1

We here don't really know the whole story. You are probably too embroiled in the situation to really know what's right and fair, or to be able to represent your situation accurately. However, you are basically the judge, jury, and executioner, so I hope you'll try to step back and look at things objectively. Nobody else can do that for you.
/r/MensRights05/03/12 09:36 PM
4

You may not realize it but a lot of guys have found MR because of their experience in their marriages. This type of story speaks to many of us and allows us to understand how we were fooled/shamed into these situations by mainstream society. It's not directly an MR issue, but I do think that if enough men can get smart and realize that marriage is not a good deal any more, it might actually generate some traction toward acknowledging some men's rights issues.
/r/MensRights05/03/12 08:52 PM
3

You have to do what you believe to be in the best interests of your child, hopefully also taking your interests and your boyfriend's interests into account. The idea that a father is pathologically unable/unwilling to care for his child is hard for me to fathom, so I'm not going to pretend to be able to. However, this is depressing to read. What's depressing is the obvious tone implying that the OP has total control over the outcome of this situation. She's right to take this tone because she do…
/r/MensRights05/03/12 08:34 PM
1

It is politically incorrect to support men. For some reason, discussing inequalities and problems that men face is viewed as threatening to women. The reaction is to ridicule, dismiss, downplay, insult. How would you expect people to react to this? I'm not saying that becoming radical is the way to go... but you have to admit that it's an understandable reaction. It doesn't have to be this way, but it will not change until enough people realize that men have legitimate issues facing them.
/r/MensRights05/03/12 02:33 PM
2

You remove shitty people from your life. If it's a boss, you either find a way to not let it get to you, or you change jobs. Friends get extra leeway, but if they are shitty too often or do some extraordinarily shitty thing, you remove them from your life. Logic is great, but it's not how the world works. Usually the key to stopping being a shitty person is to work on your own issues. Identifying the issues and being honest with yourself are critical. It helps to be able to talk to someone non-j…
/r/seduction02/03/12 11:22 PM
2

Ask her why she thinks she's getting screwed. It sounds like a fair and equitable arrangement to me.
/r/MensRights02/03/12 11:08 PM
1

Authenticity is very important. Think about it this way... what you really want to develop from studying things like r/seduction is a strong sense of self. If you're not authentic, then it's probably because this sense of self is underdeveloped. Remember that personal development is the primary goal rather than notches in your bedposts, although these will follow as you grow.
/r/seduction02/03/12 10:57 PM
2

I agree about her being likely super-high maintenance and you probably dodged a bullet. However, you come across as very wishy-washy about what you want. Get rid of the "let me know if you want to ______ sometime". You're wasting your time with this. Instead try: "I'm going to Izakaya on Friday, why don't you meet me there?"
/r/seduction02/03/12 10:47 PM
1

My kids are 11 and 14. The separation started 3 years ago. I get the kids on Mondays and Tuesdays, she gets Wednesday and Thursday, and we alternate weekends.
/r/MensRights02/03/12 05:41 PM
6

I love my kids. That's all I can say about that. My ex-wife didn't throw me under the bus. She could have, although in the end she would have had less money because of the probable legal fight. I don't understand some of her choices, and as a result I think these choices were stupid, selfish, and hurtful, but I will always care about her. We were together for 25 years and she was my best friend. We settled amicably using a moderator, so it was fairly inexpensive and I have my kids 50% of the tim…
/r/MensRights01/03/12 07:27 PM
1

Growing up in the 70's and 80's, I was taught to treat women as equals in every way (I shouldn't say 'taught', it would be more apt to say it was beaten into my head). This was the era of Helen Reddy and Billy Jean King vs Bobby Riggs. We grew up with the message that women were invincible, capable of anything a man can do, and probably more. It was almost inconceivable/blasphemous for me to consider that a woman might need a man's help for anything. If anyone ever suggested that women needed ma…
/r/MensRights29/02/12 05:36 PM
2

The OP brought up a lot of interesting arguments that you seemed to miss completely as your responses are mostly either irrelevant or off-topic.
/r/MensRights28/02/12 03:21 PM
1

Yes, a lot of movements seem to be dominated by the loudest people. Movements that are effective usually have a champion who can express issues in ways that grow the movement.
/r/MensRights07/02/12 06:58 PM
4

No, men and women aren't all that different deep down. However, there are a lot of societal differences that cause women and men to make different choices and view things differently. The idea that women should be able to be as educated and earn as much as men for the same type/amount of work output is equitable and right. However, it is contradictory if society still generally believes that a man who is less educated or earns less than a woman is unmarriageable. I agree that you can speak out a…
/r/MensRights07/02/12 02:26 PM
1

Do you find yourself fighting off resentment about the situation? Or.. can you imagine how other women in your situation might become resentful? If so, what do you do/suggest to deal with this resentment?
/r/MensRights07/02/12 01:00 PM
6

I sometimes wonder myself... why is it the man that has to hem and haw about whether he's going to make the marriage commitment. A man goes through a lot of soul searching in this process, making sure that his commitment will be solid. What do women do during this process to cement their commitment?
/r/MensRights06/02/12 11:05 PM
1

Are you living in the US now? Why does she get custody if she's planning to take them out of the country? IANAL, but I didn't think the courts would allow this. I got divorced a couple years ago, but we live close to each other and I got 50/50 custody because my ex-wife didn't fight for full... so I can't answer a lot of your questions. The real reason for our breakup I really don't know. It's a long story, but basically I caught her cheating, we tried to reconcile, but after 8 months she didn't…
/r/MensRights03/02/12 11:31 PM
7

Good point, but getting full custody is so hard to do for men, you can't blame OP for feeling good about it.
/r/MensRights03/02/12 04:49 PM
6

Is his wife seeking full custody? He can mediate or go through lawyers to negotiate (and fight if necessary). Either way he needs a lawyer. It's a lawyer's job to answer this question. You and his other friends have the job of providing emotional and moral support.
/r/MensRights01/02/12 03:58 PM
-1

SRS is actually a good thing. It keeps the trolls, haters, and ultra-PC types out of a lot of subreddits, giving them their own place to spew, preventing many threads from getting stupidly off-track.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 01:15 PM
1

Here's what I would do: realize that most people don't want to hear anything that isn't what they already believe. When you run across these people, just let it go. Instead of wondering how to convince people that don't want to be convinced, you should be looking at your own skills at listening and presenting your thoughts. There will be rare occasions where you'll come across people who are able to engage in real discussion with an open mind, and you won't want to have honed the wrong skills.
/r/MensRights26/01/12 12:24 AM
3

LOL. Agreed, I have no problem with a woman who loves sex and indulges that. I have no desire to shame her, I just wouldn't want to marry her, and that's my prerogative. I'm liberal in many ways, but if a woman has been indiscriminate with her body, it turns me off, so I guess that makes me some sort of antiquated thing. So be it. It is funny how many guys (especially here on reddit) act like they're so fucking liberal, but when it comes down to it, they would never be comfortable with someone w…
/r/MensRights20/01/12 03:40 PM
3

There are no secrets. Communication, honesty, respect, commitment, and self-awareness are a few important things to have.
/r/MensRights31/12/11 09:29 PM
6

“Why would we take counsel,” she asks, “from the very people who, in our view, flubbed it all up?” As a divorced man, whose marriage lasted 20 years, I think I have a lot of perspective on how to keep a marriage together. Even so, it doesn't make much sense for men to marry these days, other than to placate a particular woman, and that's a bad reason.
/r/MensRights31/12/11 01:00 AM
2

That paragraph stood out for me too. An unfortunate boy pointed out that there are differences between men and women. A valid point, but she took it to mean that women are "naturally suited to the home and hearth". Did he say that or even imply it? No, she is the one who implied it. That's a strawman argument. She took what might have been a good point for discussion, and turned it into a witch hunt. She shut him down, effectively saying that even asking that question was sexist. Oh yeah, then s…
/r/MensRights30/12/11 03:14 AM
1

I was referring to divorce rates. Don't get me wrong. I think marriage is a good thing, but only if it stands a good chance of lasting and not ending in divorce.
/r/MensRights21/12/11 08:39 PM
3

We all live off of someone else. She and her husband have agreed how they will divide their responsibilities... and even though it is working for them, she still gets shit from others simply because their solution follows traditional gender roles. It's ridiculous. As for you, equating her to a "welfare queen" is somewhat unfair IMO. They are two different situations, anyway. You may not value her contribution to the family as much as you value her husband's, but the two of them presumably see it…
/r/MensRights21/12/11 08:01 PM
4

Unfortunately, with the way things have gone over the last 40-45 years, these once-real advantages have been seriously diluted.
/r/MensRights21/12/11 06:37 PM
9

It's tough. A lot of men would love to get married, but it is generally a dumb thing to do nowadays. Most men are proud of living their lives in a practical way, and can see that marriage is simply not a practical decision. As family law recognizes cohabitation more and more as being equivalent to marriage (which is what I expect will happen), it will not coerce men to marry. On the contrary, it will simply reduce their desire to make any sort of commitment to a woman. There will always be those…
/r/MensRights21/12/11 05:33 PM
5

In daily life, many women love the benefits of Selective Feminism, which allows them to cherry-pick from both Feminism and Traditionalism in the way they relate to others and the world. This has been my biggest problem with how women associate with feminism. I have spent a lot of my life with a-la-carte feminists. My ex-wife was one, as are many of her friends. These women rely almost exclusively on logical fallacies to avoid scrutiny of their own viewpoints, and they have never learned how to h…
/r/MensRights16/12/11 05:58 PM
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