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Infamous_Confusion71 Archive

View 4 posts and 30 comments by Infamous_Confusion71 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Stand in your own truth my man. Leaning how to trust again starts with yourself. Not someone else. You lied to and didn’t trust yourself probably far longer than you realize. You know what’s real and what’s not with her and what she is saying. Learn to trust yourself again and reclaim the reality you were not living in. Stand in the truth, reclaim the reality you denied yourself and were denied by her. Chin up, heart out. You got this
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:59 AM
1

Well yeah I mean a TRO is simple criteria are met. Criminal charges ca take time- but better testimony/statement supported by literal video evidence of the crime taking place- to me it seems clear cut.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:10 PM
1

I’d go to the police and tell them explicitly what happed with the video evidence. I can’t speak for California but testimony of domestic violence is taken in as evidence by the courts and you have video of her beating you committing the crime. 60 days doesn’t mean a thing, but is certainly not wait. You had testimony and evidence to support it. What’s your lawyer saying about this all?
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:01 PM
1

I mean, please take this with a huge grain of salt. I was in Law Enforcement for 8 years and then I worked on the Adult inpatient psych unit at the Major hospital in our area. My first question is does she have any history of mental health or substance abuse issues? Any negative interactions with LE, like cops were called out for a disturbance but no charges or arrests were made. Did you give a statement and show evidence of the domestic assault to the police when they came? People who are place…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 12:58 PM
1

Isn’t that the truth. Invalidation kills everything
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 06:10 PM
1

😬 shit dude that’s awful. Did she fess up when she found out she was pregnant
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:30 AM
1

When you know you know- good job not second guess and getting drug on further.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:29 AM
1

I feel that. Did she also direct unending waves of invalidation and criticism towards you as well?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:29 AM
1

Apology without change is just manipulation. I’m sorry she left man but like- you’re better off for it
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:28 AM
1

DARVO to the core man. I deal with it too
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:27 AM
1

I’ve been thinking about this for years actually. She had an affair like 3 years ago where it’s like, the roots of everything I face now started. We were on vacation. I just discovered her affair, I was obviously devastated. Because as it was and has only in the most insane way possible escalated from there with everything I face now she just wouldn’t give kept gaslight kept it up with him for a bit. We were in the hotel I wasn’t doing well obviously but like- I wasn’t being weird or bad. She bl…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:26 AM
1

Damn. Obviously I’m not qualified at all to say- but that’s a super cold response. Like, cluster b because it’s almost like she said I don’t care about the thing (kids) that will make me less of a priority
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:23 AM
1

Sometimes, for all the different reasons that exist- the two people can become so activating to one another that irrespective of what is actually wanted or not. Which is sometimes hard to even sort out the more the cycle goes on that it becomes impossible to heal in. That’s not always divorce, could be. Could be a separation, could be therapy- could be any of the above or combinations. I hope it works out man- in the way that it is best for you and her both. Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 03:35 AM
2

Oh shit dude, wow! Yeah I mean in a situation like that it makes a ton of sense. I’m sorry to hear that- could you get like a TRO because in the threats of violence?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:11 PM
5

Thanks dude. Yeah it’s all tough. Sometimes I’ll feel calm and resolved. Others frantic and scared, others sad and lonely-angry, vindictive, unsure. I mean they all cycle out I think as I just process stuff and I’ve got a solid support system. It’s just a lot to digest
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:01 PM
2

I’ve heard others have docs or proof of the ex or stbx texts calls ect of them just kinda being a shithead and nasty to bring to the attorney. Unless the person is threatening or doing truly crazy/illegal things with communication- what good does bringing that stuff to the attorney do? Not being snide just genuinely don’t know
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 01:59 PM
5

Yeah dude- I hear ya. Mine has hit me with the same I don’t love you I don’t want you stuff, but like makes it super personal and all encompassing regarding every single thing about me in her little rage fits. I mean I guess she cheating was a pretty good indicator of those words too-but like, it is what it as this point
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 01:44 PM
1

Yeah when you get married you’re like “omg this is my person this is so great I can’t believe my life it’s so wonderful!” And by the time it ends up where we are it’s Like- “k, lawyers are so expensive and this is so much energy across everything and so much to deal with. Let’s bring back dueling.” No drama winner takes all, plus the others life insurance as an added bonus 😅
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:43 PM
1

Yeah I’ve thought about that too. It’s like where’s the time? People make it happen it’s like- it’s not even school, it’s I am heavily invested into the kids which is a lot, house stuff like any other adult now done solo, granted I do most of the cleaning and cooking and the kids help out and clean up their own stuff. Plus work, I’d like to get back into the gym. My own friends. But then it’s sports and piano lessons and I’m like- dude where do I find the time for anything g besides all that and…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:40 PM
1

High millage mini van 🤣. Hopefully I can at least find a Toyota mini van, they hold their value alright
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:37 PM
2

Yeah 😬. It’s funny what you don’t think about until you had to. One of the things I kinda parsed out was even though like there’s a way to make it happen- most people late 20s/early 30s have years more emotional and sexual baggage. Which with the right person for you is obviously fine and workable - but I’m like shit. My wife and I got married young- we got plenty of baggage. It it was ours and self induced so it was the devil I knew vs the devil I didn’t 😅
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:35 PM
1

Seems a little doom and gloom and not true. Sounds like it is your experience though and that sounds really awful man. I’m sorry things are like that for you
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:32 PM
2

It’s far from like a known answer- but after all this the thought of marrying again makes me wanna puke. I mean even if my divorce goes “best case” it’s like a minimum of ten grand up in some just in attorneys. It isn’t right thing- but there’s still such a high emotional load from the loss of the marriage, custody stuff, j mean it’s like you’re going through all your stuff and like- it’s really sad actually. Kinda makes the loss feel more real going through everything because there’s memories a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:32 PM
1

I think that that kind of self reflection, self discovery and willingness to sit in reality- though I’m sure at times was very challenging or painful is an incredible sign of strength, humility and willingness, as well as actionable movement towards true growth and healing. Thank you for sharing- wishing you peace in this up coming year
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:58 PM
5

I haven’t really looked anywhere. Despite all my failures and short coming in this marriage I’m getting out of- and despite her cheating left and right I never really went out and looked anywhere. So all that to say- I know about nothing and know even less about where to look apps or anything else. It’s literally going to be a brand new world for me out there
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:28 PM
5

Thanks man! Yeah dating apps, something I’ve legit never used on my entire life being married young and stuff. I’m sure I’ll get 50 percent or super close to it, which is priority number one. As for the vasectomy- already got one of those when our youngest was born because we didn’t want any more kids. And I was into bodybuilding for years not drug free and have maintained TRT/TRT plus for years so fertility isn’t an issue I face. The vasectomy stops the troops from deploying and the gear kills …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:26 PM
3

I love mine too. And like I’m not gonna be doing much in the dating scene for a minute, I got some serious work to do myself and truthfully have bigger fish to fry. But it’s like one of those things where every single thing about dating or even male female dynamics and interactions is SO different today than it was when I was dating even ten years ago. I look out and have kept a pulse on culture just enough media and other friendships and stuff of people out there in it and I’m like oh wow this …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:24 PM
3

For context context I guess. It’s not the grass is greener because I’m delusional or greedy. It’s she’s cheated on me repeatedly shown zero remorse weaponized apology and will not respond or do the things I said I needed to even consider reconciliation. I’ve been talking to a lawyer for a while now just trying to figure out rights with the kiddos, the house- I don’t care about keeping but want my equitable share of the value. My STBXW is stunningly beautiful, and I’ve already seemed to be with a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:21 PM
3

My STBXW is diagnosed BPD, and I had a ton of patients when I worked inpatient psych who had that as a primary or dual diagnoses. It truly is a heartbreaking disorder- but it’s as equally as heartbreaking living and enduring a loved one who has it too
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 07:07 PM
5

Legitimately it just sounds like a day in the life with someone who has a cluster B personality disorder like BPD. Like those behaviors are very typical with people who have conditions like that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 03:57 PM
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