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Innanaspeaks Archive

View 2 posts and 346 comments by Innanaspeaks on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
521

CULTURAL MISOGYNYInnanaspeaks/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:35 AM
113

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSInnanaspeaks/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:52 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
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For many women its a hard pass if you find out a guy has ever used sex workers. It is for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 09:41 AM
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I think its a bit ridiculous- but then im a low-key kind of person. I hate being the centre of attention. I like romantic gestures but ones that suit my personality- for example my partner arranged all my soft toys as if they had had a wild party- with empty liquor bottles and pizza boxes etc. It was really funny and sweet. (I do similar stupid stuff for him) I think some women do reciprocal things- but i dont think they would be popular on instagram because the target audience for that stuff is…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 03:24 PM
4

He should have paid her for childcare or she should have gone back to full time work and split child costs 50/50
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:15 AM
2

I think its also language. When i say a woman is 'hot' im just saying that shes attractive. She's not "hot' to me ie. im not sexually atracted to her. Its just the language that is colloquially used.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:11 PM
1

There is an instinctual disgust responce when someone im not in a consensual situation with thinks about me in a sexual way. I can't stop them, but i still feel disgusted.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 10:16 AM
7

Not the person you asked - but yes. Thats where the thought ends. We do not continue it to thinking aboit sex with them or go home and think about strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:33 AM
11

Thats an acknowledgement of looks, not sexual desire. Im not sure men can distinguish between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:31 AM
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Never. Ever. Ever. Men thinking about having sex with me- so gross. Not into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:22 AM
2

But how would I know if I wanted anything with you without the talking stage? I couldnt establish something without it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:29 AM
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Kind of for me. I have only dated metalheads/Goths etc. I will no longer date any Scousers (liverpudlians) or neurodivergent guys. Also put off by Scandinavian type guys (tall, blonde, blue eyes). Sex wise- nothing has changed. Im still not into anything kinky and think bdsm is cringe as hell. I like tantric.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:08 AM
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I think we are at cross purposes. Its unequal desire for that specific relationship dynamic, you are correct. I will never have a desire for that kind of dynamic. But that's not to say that we dont have equal desire and love for each other within the relationship. The clingy guys may interpret my actions as lack of desire for them - but its not. Its just not how I like to be in relationships. Luckily I have found a guy who is compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:50 PM
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Im saying that 'avoidant' behaviour is not always a sign of lack of interest. I dont need any help. Ive never had any issues with dating. Ive had a great relationship for the last 20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:23 PM
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I dont think this applies to everyone. It applies to you. Im a woman who some might perceive as avoidant, but im neurodivergent. No matter how much im into someone I dont want to be with them all the time. I never want good morning or good night texs. I dont want texts everyday. I like space. I have issues with object permanence and never miss anyone. I can be passionate and fall in love but over the years ive found most guys to be clingy and overwhelming and thats extreamly annoying and off put…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:25 PM
4

Noone is happy all the time. Goths are just the same as other people. Teens in any subculture tend to be moody. As for colours, there are tonnes of subcultures with colourful fashion e.g. Decora, Candy Raver, Pastel Goth, Hippie etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:29 AM
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Yes. Signs on thier own dont mean anything but taken togther they can indicate interest. Treating you differently/ special to everyone else Paying rapt attention whenever you talk, even if they are in conversation with someone else they will break off to listen to you or join your conversation. Following up on your recommendations for music , tv etc. Remembering small details about you Thier face lighting up when they first see you Finding a way to be close to you as much as possible Never missi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:26 AM
5

Im.a radical feminist and know of 2 men (boys) who were raped by women / girls whilst drunk. I absolutely class it as rape but the men laughed it off when they told me. It was rape and they deserve justice.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 08:57 AM
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100% met all my hookups and all my relationships in the rock bar or rock club. Ive had 3 long relationships in adulthood - all started as a make out at the rock club. All warm approach. 50/50 I approached/they approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 09:23 AM
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If its obvious what the polite nerdy guy wants (I.e. your number) you are just awkwardly waiting for him to ask so you can reject him. I dont like rejecting people, its awkward and makes me feel bad. Id just ratger not be in that position. (Its not just nerdy guys id reject. I have a type).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:15 AM
3

You are exactly right. Mostly they dont see it as financial abuse. In a similar vein, my mother was a home maker. My father literally did nothing but work (40 hour week mid manager in an office). My mum did everything that enabled him to live. In later years they started a business using saved money. She worked harder and smarter in that business and made it sucessful. In the years leading up to her death they traveled the world. My father still talks about how he is so proud he paid for her to …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 11:03 AM
1

My parents met as teens. They dated exclusively for 6 years and remained virgins till thier wedding night. Mum was Catholic, Dad was atheist (and its now obvious he is autistic). They stayed togther till she passed. Hes not interested in dating anyone else. I lost my virginity at 15 to a boyfriend id would date for 2 years. Ive had 4 longish relationships (the current one is 20 years) and had many ons and short flings (some i hoped would turn into a relationship but i ended them for reasons). Ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:46 AM
2

You can achieve this look to some extent by waxing /plucking the tails of your brows to allow a good amount of space between the corner of the eye and the end of the brow. So many guys have really long down turned brows that make thier eyes look droopy. Additionaly, a tiny amount of brown eyeshadow on a straight brush applied to the corner edge at an angle. Its very subtle but works.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 08:56 AM
1

Im Goth. Most Goths are just silly nerds when you get to know them. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 08:44 AM
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As someone who was hot but also autistic I had a lot of guys friends because i seemed to get on with them better than women. (They were never close best friends though) Then I became single and 100% of them hit on me. I realised that they were never actually friends, they just wanted to fuck me - and admitted as such. My social skills never mattered to them. They thought I was cringe and annoying but a hot goth girl -so they put up with having me around. Women have a higher social skills thresho…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:41 AM
2

Ive been dancing since I was 4 and ive always worn leotards. Very comfy- didn't realise i was trying to turn the other kids and parents on! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 06:27 AM
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I plan dates, I pay my own way etc. I check in regularly but i dont text all day ir every day- I find that annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:29 PM
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I met a man out if the blue on a work trip in a bar. I noticed him in a crowd and he noticed me and the rest is history.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:54 PM
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When i was dating the issues were: Visually boring guys - non- descript apprarance, no skincare or grooming. Im Goth - even the metalheads just looked like boring Dad rockers. Clingy, needy men who constantly contacted me from early morning to late night and expected to spend every moment they could with me. It was suffocating. Linked to.above- wanting to commit straight away, locking me down from the first date - and then go straight to watching box sets in pjs. I can do that without a guy. At …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:58 PM
13

Images do not arouse me. I have a reactive desire. Nudes or sexting is the opposite of sexy to me. So id never pay for OF or similar. Strippers/ gigalos may look good but 1. I would not be confident that they desire me and 2. Im not into community dick. Clarification: my reactive desire is in person only. I need a physical person to react to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:29 PM
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I can only speak for myself. I dont think the majority of men are ugly. I think they are just non-descript, bland- there is nothing interesting to look at. No NPC could ever get my attention. The clothing is just boring jeans and tshirt in black or blue, the hair is just there, the facial hair is just there, there is no intentional styling, no accessories- i cant face spending my life with someone who does not visually exite me. Womwn have a lot more ways to stand out. (Im all for more self expr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:46 AM
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Ive known several Nice guys over the years. The basic thing they misunderstand is they are attracted but they have no idea how to create attraction on the other side - or indeed an appreciation that the woman needs to feel attraction. They operate by 'covert contracts' and refuse to engage in flirting to build tension. They overstep into the boyfriend role when they dont have that status, likr its a trial run. They dont undetstand how awkward that is. I also feel that they have an idealised imag…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:13 PM
2

If they can feed you, they can starve you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:52 AM
2

And achy and tired. And they have lots of life experience they dont want to repeat i.e. been there, done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:50 AM
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Its is an established medical fact that sperm quality absolutely declines with age. In fact specifically sperm has been linked to certain conditions. Think of it this way- its fresh produce each time.... but its made on old equipment. Studies of womens age regarding birth conditions did not take the age of the father into account. This is now being studied. Sure, womens eggs ripen in the folicule each month - but they were all origionally made on brand new equipment, and just kept in stasis. (In…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:48 AM
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I am not a sex worker. GFE is an experience where the encounter includes more of a 'relationship/romantic' element rather than purely just the actual act. This could be kissing, petting, emotonal connecting, going out to dine or hanging out and watching netflix- whatever the guy wants. Its more expensive usually, than the regular type physical encounter. I think the online GFE is a more modern take on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 02:22 PM
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Girlfriend experience is a physical encounter (with a romantic element added). Not sure what you think its.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 08:36 AM
1

Personally, im Goth so I love a good dark outfit- cool boots, jewellery, cool makeup and hair, killer coat etc. I do have a partner and hes just as into sartorial stuff as me. We are known for our commitment to style amongst our friends. :) My partner (60) gets complimented by other men all the time and often gets stopped for photos. He wears a lot of hats. I'm also quite partial to the Neo Viking look but most of the guys involved in that scene tend to be "nationalists". You are totally right a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:18 PM
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I think the difference between men and women is in actual attraction. I see average to good looking people of both sexes regularly. Im more inclined to compliment women because im looking at her style, her accessories and makeup/hair. I find mainstream mens clothes very boring, not interesting to me. (Clean cut styles are an total turn-off). I can appreciate that a man may be average to good looking - but im not going to be physically attracted the way a man might be to an average or good lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:00 PM
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I would think he wanted to be left alone , perhaps he might be mysanthropic. We had a young guy like this in my office. He wasn't well liked because he didn't seem like he liked other people. Where as you might go out of your way to help out colleagues you connect with - people who make a point to welcome you and make you feel at ease - nobody would do that for him i.e. he built up no social equity. If a girl was trying to get his attention then I'd advise her to give up as its obviously unwante…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:24 PM
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Women just don't express thier attraction overtly. If im attracted to a guy, I keep it to myself. I dont cat call him, I dont eye- fuck him, I generally don't approach till im 99% sure id like to interact with him further. One reason is that guys tend to think that initial interaction means a home-run. The repercussions of changing my mind are not worth it. Secondly, I may desire sex (with no particular object of desire) but I dont seek out a partner because Im uncomfortable exposing my naked bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:32 AM
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My ex looked so much like Eddie Vedder that he went by the nickname Ed. The guy after that was a 6ft ripped Viking (by decent) with waist length blonde hair. Pitty he was a dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:31 PM
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That was me too. I liked metalheads, especially Viking looking ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:13 PM
1

It depends on the subject- if its something we have in common them im interested- if its football, anime or video games then im definitely not interested and its probably an indicator that we arent suited- because ill never want to share in or listen to anything about them in a relationship- which is not really fair on the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:53 PM
1

They are ugly and do ruin a nice outfit. But it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:10 AM
4

I agree with you. I also find that guys I've dated (or explored dating with) have just been really needy. In general I find guys to be much more needy than women. I theorise that's its because they only get women-style support from women e.g. thoughtful gifts for no reason, remembering important dates etc. I have a close group of friends and we provide support and friendship and care. Id probably be okay without a relationship because of them. A lot of guys dont have access to this outside of re…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:29 PM
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Id really like it if guys would stop love-bombing- even if it's unintentional. I like to ease into things. I hate it when ive just met a guy and suddenly hes spamming me with 'Good morning/goodnight' texts and all day texting. (I don't like to text). I find it really off -putting when they say things like 'i can't stop thinking about you' or 'i think about you all of the time'. Its makes me think they don't have a life. I hate it when a guy ive just met tries to monopoloise my time. I dont expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 12:49 PM
2

Ive never dated anyone that makes more than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:03 AM
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Going for men who have the confidence to approach you is a great way to filter out shy guys with social anxiety. I dont want those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:31 AM
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I've had male friends who wanted to date me and we have stayed friends after I rejected them. Does that fit? They have succeeded in dating after this and if pressed I would say that I am much better looking than than their current partners by quite a bit. These guys liked other women, other than myself whilst we were friends and those women were much much better looking than themselves, and much more socially active/popular. If you want background- I'm a massive history/fantasy geek and tend to …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:27 AM
1

Not sure what an anime goth is compared to a regular goth. A goth who enjoys anime? Im sure there are lots. While I like many graphic novels, I much prefer a more western art style. I exclusively dated Metal heads or Goths- but only guys genuinely into the scene, not being performative to get girls. Personally I love either a fully shaved head or long hair and I'm not keen on tattoos at all, if that matters. I love a guy who puts lots of effort into his appearance. I met them in Rock bars, Rock …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 04:46 AM
1

I have a corporate job. I work flexi time and I can wake any time I wish. I generally start early and finish early. Sometimes ill work late if I am enjoying myself or want to complete something. I get all those hours back and can take extra paid days off.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:42 AM
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Even if a woman doesn't work , odds on she does inside of the home. That's unpaid labour. I'm very much in favour of wages for home makers.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 07:24 AM
2

I went through a malaise with my usual goth look and tried out a 'vintage' look for a while. It was fun- different colours, silhouettes , accessories etc. But i returned to my goth look in part because of all the unwanted attention from dudes who would unsolicited, describe in detail how i would star in their Trad fantasies. Eeew. Now my Goth look has its own issues but id take that over the Trad creeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 12:38 PM
9

We get sweaty and stinky at a gig - that's accepted. Then we go home and wash! Noones accepting lower standards of hygiene on a normal basis!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:09 AM
1

Absolutely it matters. I like both skinny and slightly chubby, smooth and hairy. I've seen some things that gave me the ick. Someone who had lost a lot of weight and there was so much excess skin and one guy had a really weirdly shaped penis. My ex had an extra extra long foreskin that reminded me of Cyril Sneers nose. I was never fond of that ( and I love an intact penis).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:34 PM
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Did you ever read the series? The point was that she never liked any of it, she tried it once and broke up with him cause she hated it. She stopped him doing it. He only did it because he was broken. She was so amazing that she fixed him and they had a normal relationship and lived happily ever after. It was a silly series but it didn't promote bdsm, but the opposite- which is why the bdsm community hates it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 08:20 AM
1

The only guys I've ever really been attracted to (and subsequently had a realtionship with) , the attraction hit like a lightening bolt immediately on just a glance. (regular, even ugly to some looking guys). I've been with a few other guys, mostly when drunk but it was never the same. I never felt the same attraction. It never lasted beyond a brief fling.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:22 AM
2

I also think its culture. Im from the UK and on the whole we have excellent sex education - yet we see the same pattern. I think culture plays into it. Middle class girls who get pregnant are more likely to be urged to terminate the pregnancy because they have certain life extractions which would be compromised with a baby e.g. University, maybe marriage to a middleclass guy. I know my own mother gave me the 'you must terminate ' speech when I got my first boyfriend. In contrast, I have observed…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:13 AM
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Its the compatibility bit- compatibility is not attraction. People have different styles and ways of expressing themselves sexually. If they do not match or at least complement each other then there is no compatibility. Personally, I've been there - insane mutual attraction but the sex was just not clicking e.g. I like it soft and tender and he liked it hard and aggressive and neither of us was willing to compromise so we split up and found ourselves someone better sexually compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 08:31 AM
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Thank you x
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 07:22 AM
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You are using the term 'Sexual compatibllty' wrong- it doesn't mean you are attracted to each other- that's 'sexual attraction". Sexual compatibility is about matching sex drives, kinks etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:58 AM
2

I dated a neurodivergent guy for many years. He was tall, ripped, model-tier white- all that stuff. But his made him impulsive and this affected his social skills that even pretty privilege could not overcome. He was universally loathed at work and disliked by anyone who spent more than a few hours with him. I was mortified by his behaviour pretty much all the time. It definitely factored into me breaking up with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 10:45 AM
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Or to get out of an awkward conversation?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 08:03 AM
1

Honestly nobody really gives this deep critical thought so when you ask women about dating, we trot out stock replies. Its not malicious gas lighting , its just socially accepted replies. Personally, I have no interest in digging down into sexual politics or phyche for anyone. I can't provide a cheat sheet for dating and im not handing out a step by step guide to turning me on. Thats private.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 08:02 AM
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Why would loyalty make up for attraction? You can't negotiate attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 07:52 AM
1

Its just ego. Some women want all the guys to be into them, even if they aren't. Particularly young and inexperienced women. I'm old now and dgaf if men are into me, infact I prefer the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 06:50 AM
4

What about the times when a guy wanted to commit but the woman didn't. Is it still traumatic fir her??? All my hook ups remained that way due to my choice. The vast majority were open to more. The ones I chose became relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 07:00 AM
0

Its about consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 06:56 AM
1

I had a really good think about this one and talked to my sister about it. We don't disagree that we are only attracted to a tiny percentage of men. By 'attracted' we mean 'are open to having sex with, if the vibes are right'. It does not mean that we think the rest are ugly or unattractive. I think it comes down to how we feel about sex. Getting naked with and doing something so intimate - letting him penetrate you etc. is reserved for someone special (unless we were horny and drunk lol- then w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 08:35 AM
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Thats because those features are hyper feminine. If she was tall, built like a line backer, had a heavy jaw and a prominent brow ridge she would be seen as less attactive- but her brother with the same features would be seen as more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 07:30 PM
2

The UK civil service run regular dial ins and face to face sessions for thier staff to talk about mens issues and mental health. They also run drop in support sessions. I think its a good start.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:15 AM
1

I see your point. I know 2 incels and neither is because of looks. I can see how social failings and mental health issues can be labeled moral issues. I know 2 incels in real life. Both are romantically passive. Good at socialising and has strong friendship group but is very passive and relies on 'covert contracts'. He prefers to try impress with gifts and acts of service. Its "nice' (if awkward) but he has zero sex appeal. Thats his biggest issue. He is very handsome and masculine in photos but…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:06 AM
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Women are socialised to try to preserve people's feelings. Plus, I dont really care enough to get into it with someone I don't really know or care about. Its easier to give platitudes than to say 'you are ugly and boring' and then have to feel bad about it. I once told my mum that I turned down a guy and when he asked why I told him it was because he was fat which was the truth. My mum was shocked and then seriously mad at me about it and told me I should have lied. Everyone agreed with her. Bac…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 05:13 PM
9

We do! Its called the 'I don't care club'. Its a real thing, look it up. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 08:03 AM
5

Women do this too though. I've slept with hot but stupid guys but id never date them. They would never get girlfriend privileges.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:42 AM
1

Sometimes its about thier type too. Im a Goth. Im regularly perplexed when trendy mainstream guys try to pick me up.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:39 AM
9

That's because you are comparing similar attributes without considering values commonly associated with them. I prefer to think about dimorphic traits. Slightly higher body fat and shorter height are seen as feminine. So that's not really detrimental- but in men it is because it is seen as less masculine. The equivalent low scoring woman would be less feminine e.g. heavy jaw, angular body, prominent brow ridge etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 10:09 AM
2

I rate 95% of men as 'not my type'- automatic no. But I don't think 80% are unattractive. I'm very picky but I don't see that as a bad thing. No-one is entitled to me giving them a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 10:02 AM
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I met my partner at age 30. He was 40. He genuinely looked 30 and acted my age and we got each other's references. There are only minor things that give away the age difference. The main thing is that we were both at the same life stage. Both established in our careers, owned our own home and car etc. And neither had been married or had kids before (through choice)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 08:06 AM
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That's exactly how it is with my partner now. Its been 20 years. We give each other a lot of space which i think has helped our relationship. I was exclusive with my partner in my mind before we even had the chat because I didn't feel so attracted and connected to anyone else. I never have since. We are very compatible. If i was to be single ever again i dont think id bother dating, even for sex. Im happy to have had my partner and I dont want anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 12:56 PM
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My experience is completely the opposite. Even if I explicitly said beforehand that I dont want a relationship or to see them again, I still had 100% of hook ups ask for a relationship. I find men to be completely clingy and needy. That's my number 1 turn off. I need a lot of personal space.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:55 AM
1

I don't deny it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:09 PM
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Totally. A lot of guys would take anything wereas i could snap my fingers and get a random shag any day. But im picky, unless drunk and ovulating. I am rarely attracted to any man, same for my female friends. The guys I had the relationship with were based on instant attraction. Which is very rare so meaningful to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 11:49 AM
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Depends. If I'm in a relationship then yes - I've had 4 longer term relationships - but in-between I've slept with guys who I do not want to see again. I don't sleep with typical jock types so maybe that plays into it - but I find most guys are clingy and needy as hell. Its very off-putting. Current relationship is 20 years and I still think he's sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 11:22 AM
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I don't. Its me who is only looking for a hook up and the guys cant deal with it. Every guy I slept with asked for a relationship. That was never an option and I was up front about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 09:32 AM
3

I don't think its a moral failing but those passive, shy, introvert and autistic guys are just not desirable. Confidence to approach is desirable. I (woman) have hit on guys and if they don't have the confidence and social skills to banter back with me, then I stop bothering. Those skills are top desirable qualities for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 08:27 AM
2

I saw him across a bar. I followed him outside and made stupid small talk. We went back inside and then he kissed me. Been together 20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 09:18 AM
1

Odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 01:38 PM
1

Good God, no. That's really weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 01:37 PM
5

It was subconscious behaviour on my part, not anything explicit. I taught kids aged 5-7 so it didn't make much difference but i probably sat down with their work to mark in the evening, saw their name and thought ' little shit' which put me in a bad mood to review their work. It wasn't all boys, it was badly behaved kids who made my life harder- regardless of gender. But the majority of badly behaved kids were boys. All teachers have favourites- most are the good looking, polite, hard working an…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 07:54 AM
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As a teacher i think ii probably marked boys lower because they just pissed me off with their behaviour. If anyone was disruptive and ruining it for everyone else you can bet it was a boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:38 AM
5

You have ADHD. As a Neurodiversity lead i can say that this is a classic presentation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:35 AM
1

This was my comment and you ate totally correct. No one is saying he has to relentlessly chase her. Its common sense that at the first sign of her not being into it you back off and you have your answer. Once you signal your interest and she is receptive both people continue to escalate- thats how human interaction works. If you get nothing back then stop. You are correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 01:00 PM
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Personally, id need to warm up to a guy i.e. flirting. Hed need to make me feel things like tension , chemistry. Remember that most women have a reactive sexuality. If a guy came at me cold from a platonic friendship then a revelation of his feelings would leave me ...cold. Without chemistry it would be an automatic no. Have you been flirting? Playfully wrestling , cuddling etc. Additinally- gifts or acts of service do nothing for me personally. They don't make me sexually or romantically attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 06:31 AM
2

Just maybe its fizzeling out after a few weeks because you are being clingy? Thats my experience. The guys are too happy to have someone finally interested in them that they go all in. They act like they are a couple already. That's really off putting in my opinion. My personal experience is that it happened a lot to me and i always noped out after that. I wasn't seeing other guys but i wasn't committed to them. They intruded in my life and expected too much too soon. One guy literally wanted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 09:04 AM
2

You are confusing 'female sexuality' with plain objectification. Female sexuality refers to how women enjoy sex and perceive sex. I think that the reduction in attention is often welcomed by most women- however at age 50 I'm only interested in 50-60 year old men. I look darn good and the attention from men my age (and younger) has not decreased. I personally dislike the 'work arounds' as they still involve women or objectify them. Its my own view but if you can't get the real, authentic thing - …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 07:09 AM
4

So what though? That's life. I have no way if knowing what my future holds for me and how i will react to it. Relationships will always be at risk of ending. No one should ever feel complacent.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 07:22 AM
1

Life is a journey and you can invite your partner to come along with you or not. This is growing together. If they dont want to, then you can decide to split up. I dont think its a case of blame. If 2 out of shape people get together and bond over their love of binge watching and fast food - but then one person gets in shape, develops a love of hiking and healthy cooking and no longer wants to binge watch and eat pizza- its not a blame situation. If they no longer wants a partner who is into tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 07:19 AM
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Agreed. I find being a furry just as silly as all that BDSM or roleplay stuff. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. Its all just so cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 08:29 AM
1

I'm not one for non- reciprocal friendships. I don't use people. Though i have known people who do. I don't think its that common. Yes, its guys i have a long term friendship with. Its not the feelings which are creepy- its those actions of trying to get closer. Those are boyfriend actions and i don't consent to them. Its the change in behaviour from the established dynamic between us. Its the puppy dog eyes and the hugs and the compliments that are a sudden feature of our interactions. I dont w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 09:58 AM
1

Most guy friends are not back up plans. Wed never date them under any circumstances. Any romantic attention we get from them is unwanted and very uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:57 AM
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Sorry to butt in. The services or attention thing? Isnt that just friendship? It goes both ways. I've sewn guys clothes for them and at another point they've fixed my laptop. If a guy friend flirts with me, i don't class him as a friend. He's an acquaintance. Guy friends are only creeps to me when they start trying to date me covertly. Suddenly theyre buying me thoughtful gifts when they never used to , or trying to pay for my coffee. They might try to sit next to me all the time and spend much …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:45 AM
1

I have s couple of thoughts. Friendship behaviours that are standard for women such as regular check-ins ( not usually daily), thoughtful gifts for no reason, emotional availability and support and physical contact like hugs or handholding- when a guy friend gets included in this he feels special and he can misinterpret it as attraction. Male friends are never usually considered back up. They need to get that out of their head. If the male friend was date - worthy, he would be in a relationship …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:33 AM
2

Men tend to have spontaneous arousal. Women tend to have reactive arousal. This ties in with the fact that most women i know only see a handful of guys they are attracted to in a year. The longer guys go without sex the greater the urge is. The opposite is true for a lot of women. The longer i go without the less i want it. I'm if getting great sex then i have an enormous libido. Most men say any sex is good. Most women would rather go without sex than have bad sex. (Or be single rather than in …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:20 AM
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Or they have grown and learned and want someone else who is likewise healed and at peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:33 PM
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Of course if someone is emotionally damaged in some way, even if its not their fault its going to make them less appealing as a partner. I don't know many people who want to help someone they just started dating through a trauma. One reason that ill probably not date again if i ever lost my partner is that I've dealt with my trauma. Im at peace. I really don't want to rake it all up again with someone else. If i did meet someone else they probably wouldn't be happy with me not wanting to share a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:32 PM
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Yes. Its a part of life. We live and learn and sometimes we screw up. Maybe some guys still hurt when they remember but ive forgotten it - just like i cringe or hurt when i recall past things but the perpetrator doesnt remember it. That's life. We grow, we move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:10 AM
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No. It wasn't compliment. He was a dirty horndog and it was a shameful thing to have hooked up with him. He was just the lead singer in a band and he was persistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:08 AM
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I'm from the UK. My housemate was a singer in a rock band and he got lots of women but not women he particularly wanted. It was well known in the rock club that he was 'community dick' - and any woman with other options avoided him like the plague. He was good looking enough that he might pull an unsuspecting hottie who was new to the club- but usually women would grab her in the loo and warn her lol! No one wants to be embarrassed by dating community dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:07 AM
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Incel is used as a term to bully. Its just another slur word. Its not deeper than that. Teenagers are trying out social power, learning social skills and being tribalistic and exclusionary is part of that. They are also learning flirting skills. I know i used and abused flirting at that age. I was learning what worked and what didn't. I wasnt trying to hurt boys or lead them on, though im sure i did at times. I was a stupid clueless 13 year old. Teenagers are little shits. On another note - deni…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:01 AM
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Its totally an insult. Ever heard the term 'community dick'?. No woman wants to date community dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 08:17 AM
5

You're wrong though. Women just don't want men as much as men want women. I'm happy to approach when I'm attracted to a guy- but that's about 1 or 2 men I'd see in a year! Women are more likely to spend some time with a guy if he approaches, rather than approach a guy themselves because they just don't fancy him enough. Women dont particularly go out to meet guys- we are happy just with our friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 06:22 AM
7

Same
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 01:34 PM
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Im a woman and a feminist but im fair enough to agree that it is a problem. I know of one case of 'targeted impregnation' on a drunk boy (jokes on her - his family might of owned a huge house but they were broke) . I know of a few ' accidents ' too. Lying about birth control is rape. Its the same as stealthing. The person wouldn't have consented to sex if they knew. Its definitely a problem. Any baby trapping needs to be publically shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 10:28 AM
2

That's really interesting about feigning kindness. Im a neurodivergent woman. I was raised to be kind. I treat everyone with kindness, i feign interest in what they tell me, show empathy where required- but then leave them and don't think about them again till i have to. I don't actually really care about them. But i feel that its better than showing them that i dont care. That's cruel. Kindness and friendliness oil social interactions. Why cause friction when i dont need to? Most people underst…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:15 AM
1

Perfect for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 09:37 AM
1

I've never gone into a relationship considering it 'forever' and my partners have known this- but i never treated the less or actively looked for a replacement. Is that what most people do, think its forever???? Seems wierd to me. If I was single again I'd have to be really wary now! Guys are needy and clingy enough without considering this. I'm shook. Explains why 4 guys have proposed to me. lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 09:03 AM
1

Yes - but not 8 inches. No! Its about complimentary anatomy. 6.5 inches is perfect for me but thick. Girth is the absolute dream. Its the rarest thing. Once my friends found a thick guy they understood..
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:57 AM
3

Trendy. Not alt. I'm only interested in Goth guys or metalheads.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 09:27 AM
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It really depends on my mood and what I'm doing - plus, gotta be my type. I'm Goth and if a mainstream guy approached me it would be an automatic no. I saw a really hot Metal guy in the supermarket. I complimented his beard. He looked happy enough to accept the compliment but not receptive to anything else- so i ended it there. I think thats okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 08:32 AM
3

Additionally- how she feels about herself is really important. Since I've gained weight the thought of being seen naked fills me with dread, no matter how horny i am.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:51 AM
5

Exactly. Its perfectly possible to be a horny asexual. Its like being hungry but not for any specific food.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 12:09 AM
2

Its got advice i both agree with and disagree. It depends what your end game is. My deal is that i don't want marriage or kids and i already own my own home and car etc (all fully paid off). I have both physical and other deal breakers and preferences which are not influenced by FDS. I just don't think its a strategy for women in my position. I don't agree with body shaming but i think its fine to politely reject someone for any reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:21 PM
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More often its just making out. I've been going to the same club with mostly the same people for 30 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:49 PM
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Seriously, hypothetically i could walk into the rock club and shout ' free vagina ' and a queue of guys would form. Lol. Its not a flex. They just have no discrimination. They tend to go to the club to pull. I go to dance. I'm rarely off the dance floor. Its a close knit scene- most people have slept with each other at some point. Lol. I met my partner in a rock club at the other end of the country. His dating history is very similar to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:53 PM
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In simple terms: Long terms: 15- 18, 18.5- 23, 23.5- 30, 30.5-50. Approx 21 guys in 3 periods of 6 months - So roughly 1 new guy a month in my single periods.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:43 PM
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Nope. Approx 25 total. 4 long term relationships since 15. I'm 50 now and been with my partner since i was 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 11:52 AM
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Ive had tones of hook ups- mostly ugly or fat guys. The reason was that i was drunk and horny. This is usual for the rock scene. Some of them i had considered dating but the sex was bad or something put me off them so i didn't pursue it. My current partner of 20 years started as a one night stand but he just charmed me and i wanted more of him in my life. Hookups- i barely like them. I get rid of them as soon as possible. Some im cordial with if i see them. Only a couple of guys i ever slept wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:11 AM
1

I don't want to be a free therapist. The only dates off the internet i went on were filled from start to finish with the men relaying their past relationship. They literally jumped on tinder the second they broke up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:59 AM
2

I can only speak for myself. Once i develop a true close friendship with a guy i can no longer see him in a romantic sense- its like a family member, its just not possible. My advice would be that if you think you might want a romantic relationship, then hover around the periphery of friendship, not best friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:18 PM
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Whilst i agree with most of that- simping rarely works out as it doesn't build genuine desire. The only options i see are betabux in the redpill definition or work on flirting skills somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 02:47 PM
8

I'm talking about sexual response. Most women need to be flirted with and to play with sexual tension. When Nice guys act like a boyfriend its confined to acts of service and gifts- the things that don't need flirting or social skills. Nothing beats being able to build sexual tension. Whilst a nice gift is appreciated it won't make you sexually attractive to most women. That's why bad boys dont need to give you gifts or help a woman move to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 02:40 PM
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I'm 50 so very experienced. I am very sure that I don't use guys. Once I understood, I refused gifts and acts of service and ensured that I always paid for myself. I was always careful not to flirt. I always ensure that I reciprocate drinks etc. I don't want to give these guys any fuel for their covert contracts. I'm not sure what its about me that attracts nice guys. I'm short and petite and I've been told I'm pretty. I'm kind, very friendly and stereotypically feminine. I just seem to attract …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 12:57 PM
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I've known several nice guys over the years. The main problem with nice guys is their use of ' covert contracts'. That is where you do something with the expectation of reward without ever informing the other person e.g. helping themmove house then expecting a date. The other person is not aware what they are accepting when they accept the moving help- if they had known they could chose to accept or refuse. Its usually a reward that is not equal and involves dating or spending time e.g. its not …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 07:27 AM
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I love cargo shorts! I had to talk my partner into getting some. He has exceptional calves that need showing off. Lol. I love sweat pants and absolutely hate jeans. Lol Clean- cut guys in designer outfits or suits are an automatic turn off for me. We call guys in button ups 'shirt-boys' here. P.s Im a Goth and hang in alt circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:29 AM
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Im Goth. I've had metalhead long term partners (3.5 years and 7 years) and both changed their style - one started to dress 60s/70s and the other went punk. There were other issues - but aesthetically i just wasn't attracted. No, i dont like your boot cut cords or your ugly shoes, no i dont like your skinhead or harrington jacket (or comedy tees). My current partner is artistic and very into style and i love it. He sews and customises his clothes. We encourage each other to develop our styles - f…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:17 AM
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My friend had the exact opposite . In photos he was good looking, smouldering and sexy but once he moved he was camp as hell. So many women turned him down once they met in person. He was the epitome of unsexy. Really odd. Conversely another guy was objectively quite sickly looking, not good looking at all - but the way he spoke to me and the glances he gave me turned me to jelly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 09:22 AM
1

No. My preferences haven't changed but my lifestyle has. I never wanted marriage or kids and i never purposely dated looking for long term. If i was single now i still wouldnt. I've been with my partner for 18 years now. We still go clubbing occasionally, but more usually we meet friends on weekend afternoons. There is a trend of club 'afternoons' in my city now - for us old uns. Lol. I like to be home early and not too drunk because i have chores to do the next day. I have a house and garden to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:24 AM
1

Of course social awkwardness is a turn off! Who wants to sit there uncomfortably on a date? Who wants someone who says weird off-kilter things and sometimes hurtful things because they weren't aware. Who wants someone to shy to interact in group situations and can only converse one on one? Most people want a partner where the conversation flows naturally, who puts you at ease and can easily integrate into their friendship group. There are plenty of guys with great social skills, i see no point c…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 10:51 AM
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Its the nature in which the question is asked. My friends never really ask this question. When we did as teens we were shamed if we mentioned anything looks related. They were parroting others. If a stranger/ colleague asks then its easier to give a non controversial answer and not engage further. If a guy friend asks, then most people dont want to hurt thier feelings by excluding them so generic answers are given. If im forced to answer ill give a hyperbolic answer like 'looks like Henry Cavil'…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:20 AM
3

Will do. Later on tonight. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:04 PM
1

Its only an issue if they want to pursue a relationship and these things prevent it. If its not preventing that with other people then its not an issue. For me they are issues- a personality clash. They may be able to change with straight forward advice e.g. "its hurtful to point out peoples acne. There is no benefit in it and its hurtful". They could try appreciating that a relationship should serve both partners not just one. e.g. its nice when your girlfriend watches you play video games, wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 02:25 PM
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Yes. Im autistic myself. I have had the following issues: black and white thinking especially when it comes to gender roles. limited sphere of interest. They only want to talk about thier own niche interests and do what they want to do. I was expected to join in thier interests but when it came to mine they wanted me to find a friend to do it with instead. difficulties with teasing and banter. They took it personally, got upset and then over- retaliated. difficulties recognising when interest wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 01:00 PM
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Without doubt its Sir Terry Pratchett/ Tiffany Aching .
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:12 AM
1

Absolutely not. I refuse to think of a man I'm not sexually attracted to in any sexual way. Ill treat him with common human kindness but ill refuse to acknowledge his sexuality. This goes for my female friends, my family, my coworkers, people i see on the street, my old neighbours etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:38 AM
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I can't stand cuddling after sex and I'm never sleepy. I have to get up, make a drink and do sonething. Its not about emotions its about what my body wants to do. Once sex is over for me, its over. Im a woman by the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:13 AM
1

Personally for me its not a case of deception with nice guys, its obvious they are into me. Its the fact that they dont pick up that its not reciprocated and that they hold parts of normal friendship as a covert contract and get passive aggressive when denied. Its the passive courtship that doesn't work for me. I dont find confessions of love or big reveals sexy. I have no problems pursuing if I'm attracted but these guys just dont attract me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 08:48 AM
1

From my personal perspective and experience with nice guys- yes their courtship is wrong (for me) and yes they are not masculine enough (for ne). The ones I've known have expected that platonically listening to my troubles, paying for my coffee and buying me small gifts (all reciprocated) will be enough to let me know they were interested. They operate in 'covert.contracts'. They did nothing to turn me on (which would have been matched if I was attracted). I totally agree that people should be f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 08:10 AM
2

You have a point about the life stage thing. When I was last single I wanted to casually hang out with a guy. I didnt want to commit all my time to him, commit to supporting his well being and committing to future plans- he wanted a full relationship. That was the case with many guys. They had been single longer and were ready to get back into commitment . It was just a case of our life stages and goals not matching up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:10 AM
4

For me , when my partner has been unemployed they have done some superficial cleaning but the deep cleaning never got done. My mum was a housewife and I had a good example of how to manage the daily cleaning with several deep cleaning tasks per week- plus all the social stuff to organise, the kids stuff, the house maintenance and decorating, manage the household budget , a menu and my time. It also about anticipating needs, planning ahead does my husband need more socks? We have an event in 2 we…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 07:16 AM
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I don't really want to dedicate time and effort on a date if the initial conversation doesn't flow. I'd rather spend the night watching tv or grabbing to my mates than spend time with some stranger guy if I didnt already have a strong suspicion it was going to work out well. It's like a predate. I think dates should be for when you are actually into someone, not to test the waters.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 03:36 PM
5

From my perspective as a woman. I'm in social media to interact with my existing friends and family and sometimes coworkers- not to make new friends or to date. If a guy I don't know messages me it's usually to get to know me for the purposes of dating. This was the evolution of the way i respond now. At first I used to send a polite responce, being careful to sound uninterested, hoping they would get the message. I didnt want to be mean. They didn't as took any responce as a sign of interest. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 08:22 AM
1

I met the vast majority of my sexual partners and all of my romantic partners in the same kind of place- a rock bar or club - but generally we spoke for 10-15 minutes of banter before we kissed. It was mostly a case of drunk and horny. I'd call that warm approach. The other places I met guys were at house parties one guy was a friend and another guy I met through a friend .
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 08:23 AM
1

I get you now. I don't know anyone like that so thats why I was confused, sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 01:04 PM
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I think I'm.misunderstanding you. Do you mean that even if she's working , she is also responsible for the cooking and cleaning? Or do you mean- not being open to it at all? I think everyone should be open to cooking and cleaning. Labeling life skills as 'wife duties' is really odd if she is also working. I don't know anyone that is not open to basic looking after themselves. As a woman, a man not having basic life skills is a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 12:15 PM
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The qualifier is a traditional man/marriage. Most western people are in a 50/50 relationship. Personally, I hate cooking and cleaning. I do only as much as I need to and split it with my partner. I much prefer working in my career. A traditional man wouldn't even be on my radar. Women who refuse to work outside the home would be low value to lots of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 10:43 AM
1

I'm from a large city in the UK. Most of my friend group is 40-50 professional careers but into the metal/ goth subculture. All of the couples bar one are child free. Most of my previous partners are also child free. Of those with kids, a couple planned a child but mostly they were accidents and the woman wanted to keep the kid. They are not together with the mother of their child.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 10:40 AM
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Wife duties? Wtf. Cooking and cleaning is not restricted to gender. It's just being an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 10:31 AM
1

For me its not realistic. I've had 4 longish term relationships since I was 15. I've grown and changed over the years and so did my partner. Mostly my partners have changed subculture, one went to university in a different city, they've changed their aesthetics to something I did not find attractive, they've changed their interests and then we had nothing in common and found it really difficult to agree on activities we both enjoyed. If we had children or been married maybe we could have made mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:03 AM
1

BmI? Not sure. I'm 5ft 0 and 7st ( 98lbs). I have waist length hair and neotenuous features. Recent Irish extraction. I'm more of a romantic Goth/metal head in style.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 07:25 PM
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I'm holding my hand up here. I've fucked plenty of guys who I has absolutely no interest in, didnt particularly fancy them either- just drunk and horny. Every single one asked me to go out with the afterwards. I turned most of them down. Not interested (also been proposed to 4 times and turned them all down).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:34 AM
1

I'm in the UK , in a pretty large city. Cat call calling and cold approaching pretty much stopped in the 80s. I remember there being huge media campaigns against it . We don't really talk to strangers apart from a polite passing comment. I get lustful or intetested looks all the time but never actually approached. When I was single, I never left the house apart from shopping or work. I never met anyone. I had to make the effort to go and chat to my now partner in a bar. I never did online dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 08:32 AM
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I do agree that online dating does give women a wider feild to chose from. It's a horrible incideous thing. I was on Tinder to see what it was ( with my partners permission). Our friend group were all curious and they picked me to make a profile. Everyone had a go swiping lol. I left it up for 5 days and got 2800 likes- how is that reasonable! (And that was with a rubbish profile with random photos from my real, most with no makeup). It's horrible out there. Good luck on your search. K hope you …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:45 PM
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She sounds like a nightmare. You dodged a bullet. Job probably did play a role in the ghosting. I would hate to date a young person now, I have sympathy for you. I'm a Radfem but I'm moderate, I advocate for true equality between sexes. Luckily for me I'm childfree and have an adequate job with wealthy parents which has meant that my partners wage has never been an issue to me- as long as they can contribute a share to our life style I'm happy. (In fact I'm trying to get my partner to retire as …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 11:42 AM
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Sounds like you pitched it about right- maybe its just how online dating goes these days? Maybe the woman are young and using online dating for an escapist type of encounter rather than a grown up relationship? I know if I only wanted a hook up, then I wouldn't care less about supporting the guy- nor would I expect it from him. I've never dated online, I dislike texting as a conversation and I don't think I could ever build up a rapport with someone by texting. (don't get me started on nudes- no…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 09:15 AM
3

I think its because its a curated cinematic experience- the emotions are heightened, the actors are gorgeous, the music, the sets etc. It can be a heady experience. It doesn't translate into real life- there's no soundtrack in real life for a start. Real life cant compare to 2 hours of cinematic emotional roller-coaster. Or for written smut- its usually even more unrealistic. Its pure escapism. For what its worth, I've had to teach most of my partners about romance - they would think that a gift…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:46 AM
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Is this in the 'getting to know you stage' or the relationship stage? Different stages afford different levels of support- that's basic social skills and goes for dating as well as making friendships. If its during the initial stages then its not socially acceptable to unload or trauma dump. In an established relationship or friendship its absolutely okay to do that- as long as its not the bulk of your interactions. No one likes a sadsack. My partner's dad is going through some health issues rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:24 AM
1

I'll admit that I'm fickle . I am a great communicator but when I dated I often didnt communicate because I wasn't trying to build anything. I wanted to go with the flow. The main issue I found with guys was the neediness and clinginess- this is going back to the 90s. I really don't think I'm that special but the intense emotion I've had directed at me is crazy. They try to lock me down far too soon and make plans way before I'm ever comfortable. ( I only dated 1 guy at a time btw). Maybe its ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 08:05 AM
1

The majority of the teachers were male. The curriculum was The National Curriculum that is set for the entire country. The lessons were written for the specific class. I used to be a teacher and I the issues I did have with boys were that they just didn't value the lessons. I did try to work with them but they were more interested in messing about. The girls really wanted to please me - maybe there is something in that?? I don't think women are superior. My partner is exceptionally intelligent b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:19 AM
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They had an entire school just for boys. It was an academic school with lessons designed just for males. I know that the school valued academia. I have no idea why this did not translate to the boys. They had the same trips to visit universities girls school so I don't see why they didnt consider that needed the grades to get in. They just preffered to mess about whilst the girls grafted. P.s the competition between the girls was never instigated by the school. It was us that put that pressure o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:25 AM
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The educational differences I think are cultural. My experience may be different from most people- I went to an all girls school that had an entrance exam. It was heavily STEM focused. We girls heavily valued academic achievement. Our grades for homework were read out best to worst at the start of every lesson and it was a competition to get into the top 3. We were constantly reminded to focus on our futures. In comparison, the boys school (same academic level) had no such values. I was often ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:17 AM
2

This is exactly the issue I've experienced so many times- guys telling me they have fallen 'in love' with me when they only superficially know me. (Its usually my partner at the time, best friends which makes it soooo much worse). They only see the polite, happy, dressed nicely and on my best behaviour me. They don't see the sweat pants and old T, the hormonal outbursts, the grief or any of it. Plus they pick and chose the elements of me that they fantasise about. One guy was obsessed with us sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:06 AM
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I know but I wanted to join in.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:27 PM
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Tangerines are orange Tangerines are sweet Tangerines are juicy And lots of fun to eat!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 09:47 AM
1

That's awful. I've never seen or heard of that happening before. I've only ever been to metal or goth bars where everyone is really lovely and polite. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 09:59 PM
1

I'm almost 50 and we still go out to bars. Mostly metal or Goth clubs and bars. Evetyone is very friendly. I met my partner when I was alone and they were also out alone - but they did know people there. I was in a new city with work so I didnt know any one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 09:56 PM
2

Cycle synching is a myth. Women have different length cycles, even with the same women- so of course now and again they line up with a friend. There is nothing more to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:41 PM
2

Not ugly but invisible. ( I'm a woman btw).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:39 PM
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Cold approach in a bar- great. Thats about 99% of how I've met people. ( I'm a woman btw. I approached my partner because I thought he looked hot) Cold approach on public transport, in a coffee shop or a supermarket? Hell no.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:38 PM
4

Attraction at first sight accross a room. He was a stranger so I found a way to talk to him. 20 mins later he kissed me. It felt exciting but also deeply relaxing. We have been inseparable since. (20 years) I know immediately if I'm attracted to someone. I have never developed attraction by getting to know someone. That seems odd to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 08:32 AM
2

What if they hung out in rock bars, danced all night at metal clubs and regularly attended metal and goth gigs- and wanted a partner who enjoyed those experiences as much as her? I've only ever dated Metalheads or Goths for this reason. Plus they look better! (Clean cut guys are a massive turn off for me)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 08:28 PM
1

For me , its the social tone-deafness that bothers me. The guy makes one or two flirty comments and gets nothing back- then he tested the waters and it wasn't reciprocated. That's fine to me. I'm not stupid and I can tell when a guy has a crush on me. I do everything I can to put him off without making it explicit and hurting his feelings. But then they keep on doing it, keep on buying gifts and giving me puppy dog eyes, and gets numpty when I talk about guys. That's annoying and awkward. Read t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 11:40 AM
1

People are not walking stereotypes. People are free to be attracted to whatever combination of traits they like - and in real- life that looks like a mixture of both 'masculine" and 'feminine' traits. This can also shift day to day depending on circumstances. An example from my own life: Me: short, petite very feminine woman with stereotypical feminine interests. Qualified in childcare. Also Childfree, leader in relationship, responsible for finances, major decisions, home maintenance. Have lots…
/r/ExRedPill21/06/24 09:36 AM
3

There are various styles and reasons for makeup. Very minimal and natural- to mimic health. I might cover up a spot to go to the supermarket as I don't like being seen with it by anyone eise. Neutral makeup - this is obvious makeup in neutral tones that I would wear this for work because its expected of me, as part of smart oficecwear. Fun casual makeup- I might wear this on a day out. It can be anything that is a bit more low key but sparks joy that day- a glossy red lip, a bright eyeliner, a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 08:42 AM
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It can be true though. I'm 48 and consistently told that people thought I am.in my 20s. This isn't me fishing for compliments- it's at work when I mention how long I've been doing my job, people are surprised I'm at my grade so young, it's when I was chatting to a stranger we were both buying anniversary cards and i mention it's our 19th anniversary. It's when people get really awkward when I introduce my partner - 60, bald, overweight , with a long white beard. It's when I complain about the me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:03 AM
1

Yes absolutely. I saw him initially accros a room and wanted him so bad. It was instant attraction for both of us, we even spoke about it that night. Weve been inseparable since.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 11:06 AM
1

It's easy. I've never had an issue. I've had tonnes of encounters and every one has wanted to date me. It was me who said no to that. I've been proposed to 4 times. Guys are desperate for relationships. P.s I'm just a tiny Goth girl. Been told I look a bit like Vivienn Leigh if that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 08:39 AM
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Im in the UK- its very common for women to approach men. In my current relationship I approached him first, and in my previous ones it was 50/50. I started dating in the90s and I asked out my first boyfriend. It was normal. The thing is that, like all of my friends (we have discussed this)- we just don't find that many men attractive enough at first sight to make an approach. When I was single I wasn't actively looking for anything - relationship or hook up. I was happy to wait as long as it tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 09:26 AM
1

I'd generally say yes- but it doesn't mean I'm open to a conversation with you. I'm just allowing you a seat..Nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 04:35 AM
1

That's just dry, sorry. Womens arousal is mostly reactive. Theres nothing to really react to. It's not building tension. It's got to be done right with flirty glances, light touches and risque comments. Its hard. I have autism too but I think I have flirtation nailed. I started practicing at 15 and admit that it took me years to become subtle and skillfull. It sounds like playing a game but it's literally not. How do I know if I like a guy if its just dry? It feels nothing more than platonic. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:33 PM
1

That sounds like a very interesting time in an academic way .... but it's not exactly romantic or sexy. I might be riveted but it doesn't make me think about kissing you. You need to keep it light, playful and it's all about the non verbals and the flirty comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:21 PM
5

Dic pics or body pics do nothing for me. Even sexting is tedious. I go along with it for a guy but in actuality I find it extrreamly irritating. It does not turn me on. I get turned on by someone in person- touching, kissing. End of. Pixels on a screen or words do nothing. I would take pictures from stranger as an offensive gesture.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 10:17 AM
1

You forgot- eat your bodyweight in chocolate daily and never gain a pound...or is that just me???
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 09:53 AM
3

As a fellow shortie (5ft) I'm stalking your profile for tips! My tip- get a sewing machine and learn simple alterations.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 08:29 AM
2

It's all totally true. I'm not an Alpha widow though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 08:48 PM
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This has been my exact experience over and over. My first boyfriend wanted a Goth girlfriend- and I changed from bookish nerd to a Goth. He wanted long hair so I grew it etc. Since then I've stayed Goth because I genuinely love it but I've met so many men who think they can change that and mould me into what they prefer bi guy wanted to masculinise me (I'm petite and feminine- it would never work) guys in uni wanted to de-Goth me. punks wanted me punk Comic book geek wanted me to tone it down an…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 09:53 AM
1

I don't see that as 'Trad'. Both partners should be committed and invested. Both partners should provide and protect- in whatever way they can. If you are married and have a joint account then the cost of dates is shared. (I believe that SAH partners "earrn" half of the household income). If you are dating- I'm a 50/50 person. The only exception is when I've been nagged to 'give someone a chance' and I already know I don't want to date them- then I'm not covering my own costs. ( yes it did happe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 07:26 AM
1

I really can't relate. In my experience it's always the guy wanting to lock down the girl as soon as possible. Maybe it's just the guys I meet but I don't think so. I met a buff sucessful guy at speed dating and he wanted to take me home to meet his mum! I don't think it's so binary. Most people just drift into committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:41 AM
1

I've been proposed to 4 times (rejected them) and stalked twice. I have autism (level )l and I'm really good at masking but it's all fake! . I'm friendly, feminine, petite and pretty (girl next door, sweet type) Guys get these ideas about me - that I'm caring and desire them etc. I have asked about this - apparently by being open about trivial things in my life they think I'm being emotionally close to them. I had to stop dressing in vintage style as it attracted too many trad guys. I went back …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 02:58 PM
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I'm the complete opposite! (Also a woman btw) I've never ever grown attraction over time. Its either there at the start or it isn't. However, I'm not into the usual Brad Pitt type face- it's all about quirky features for me. Its face above everything else. All my relationships (except. my first at 15) started out as casual sex- even planned one night stands. But- everyone I've had sex with has asked me to be thier girlfriend - so maybe I judged it well. Not sure. Obviously I rejected the majorit…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:19 PM
2

I always dated younger men till I met my partner. He was 10 years older than me but I thought he was my age as he looks much younger. (I look younger too but that's not relevant). We were at a similar life stage as he was 40 and I was 30. It works. The challenge will be when he retires before me. He has already started accumulating injuries and his age is catching up with him. If I were to date again I'll probably go for a younger guy (and I went live with him).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:09 AM
3

Alcohol. Honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 05:22 PM
1

Radical feminist here. It was 50/50 in my relationships. It would have been 100% me asking the guy out- but they got in there first. I've never been rejected so I don't know if that would alter things...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 09:39 AM
1

Dating is not a 'fair' and never will be. The 'pipeline' is how it's been done for generations. It allows you to get to know someone before deciding if you want to date. The thing is that by becoming friends you keep it more superficial and flirty. Deep and meaningful should come later. You aren't aiming for best friends forever- but just socialising in a different context to work. It shouldn't be done- sided. If you are getting nothing back from the 'pursued' then that's a signal to back off. C…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 09:30 AM
1

Woman. Yes yes yes- dicks all feel different. I think compatible genitalia is important. My first boyfriends dick was aesthetically beautiful- perfect colour, length, width and proportions. Felt amazing. The second one I saw was the ugliest thing ever- small and disproportiobed . It looked like a mouldy mushroom. I refused sex with it! The biggest one was ridiculous- like a horses. It hurt very bad- made me rip and tear and bleed. However he also slept with my friend and said it fit much better …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 09:08 AM
1

If we just started dating- maybe 2 months in , I dont want to know all.aboit your past trauma. I dont want deeply personal information. What if we dont stay together? You have shared deeply personal information for nothing. Personally, I have some traumas, some break ups, some grieving from deaths which have shaped me. I really dont want to share all that, maybe relive trauma with a succession of near- strangers. I'm saving that for when I know it's a long term thing. Also- yes it's a turn off. …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 11:03 AM
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Kt using that system. It's too much. I'm a Goth - the first thing I look for is visual indications of compatibility- Goth or Metalhead. ( no Punks, Emos or Alt rockers/Indie). Physical Attractiveness - I like a characterful face. I like masculinity and the body needs to be within average ranges for height and weight. Sense of style- I love great outfits. Only then will I check for the other things- the personality, the morals, the capability (can function as an adult). The guy needs to pass each…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 09:13 AM
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That's good. I've heard it described as 'auditioning for the role of boyfriend '- like 'this is how I would treat you if you were with me'. But unless you are actually the boyfriend, it can be seen as creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 02:01 PM
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For me it's the old thing about 'romantic or creepy". If you fancy someone their behaviour is seen as romantic, if you don't then its seen as creepy. I'm a woman who has male friends fall for her, like most women. The thing I dislike is that once I know a friend likes me romantically or sexually they are viewing me through those lenses and I don't like it. Examples from my life are: ' shes curled up in a blanket- that's so sweet and cute" ' you looked really hot in that dressing gown' And the ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:40 AM
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True. Most men I meet just want to trauma dump all over me even if it's the first time we met in a platonic situation. One guy just relived every argument he had with his ex wife - it was a bit scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 06:59 AM
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I do think women find money important. The reason being is that in general women have been less socialised to find financially supporting their partners acceptable, whereas a lot of men expect to be in.this position. Personally, I'm okay with a guy with a similar or slightly lower income than me in a relationship ( I've always been the higher earner). I want a guy who can support himself and pay his way in the most part. (not withstanding brief periods of unemployment). My partner finds the conc…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 08:39 AM
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I can see that would be frustrating but I know a lot of women feel the same way as me. Once you form a platonic bond , the thought of getting physically intimate with that guy is just impossible. You just don't see him that way. Whereas for guys they can still see women friends in a sexual light. It's a fundamental difference. I give the advice that if a guy ever wants to develop a relationship- never become really close friends with a woman. Always keep that distance- be in the friendship circl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 02:10 PM
1

Totally this!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 10:28 AM
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This is me. Once I'm close friends with a guy ( not just friend of a friend - but meeting one on one and sharing feelings etc) I am never able to see him in a sexual light. It's just not possible. I'm happy to do all if that in a relationship - but the sexual feelings and attraction must come first.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 10:27 AM
7

That's how i feel.. I am a woman who has my own status, education and money. I don't care about that in a man. I care about his values, his personality, intelligence and importantly his looks. Moat guys i meet in thier 40s and 50s are overweight and incredibly boring. If i was single, I'd probably stay that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 09:40 AM
15

This is because she never wanted to date you- she is just miffed about losing an orbiter. She liked the silly fantasy that you stayed single because no one was as good as you in your eyes. I know this because i have friends like this , and perhaps i liked having this ego boost when i was a teenager. Some women grow up and some still cling to this. Ive had to explain this to many male friends. She never actually wanted to date you so that's why she never made a move.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 09:22 AM
3

No- but i see a lack of mentally stable guys. Ill admit that innmy life ive not aimed for the top percent guys. I like rockers/goth and most of them are nerdy kinda guys. I find them all desperately clingy and needy. They want commitment, to lock me down from the first date. I've never had a one night stand where they didn't try to date me - even though i was upfront beforehand. One guy from a speed dating event was talking marriage! I've had 4 proposals. Its led to some crazy and dangerous obse…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 02:47 PM
1

For me personally, i don't want to decrease my lifestyle/ amount of surplus income. If I'm with a guy who can't pay his way and I'm either subsidising him or forgoing things that he cant afford to join then I'm going to feel resentful. I'd like a guy close to my income. I've always been the higher earner in my relationships. My partner and i split the outgoings 65/35 % currently and I'm happy with that. Luckily i don't have very flamboyant or expensive tastes. If children were to enter into the …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 02:15 PM
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I really feel sorry for you. This much hate eats you up inside. I wish only peace for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 12:08 PM
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Says who? Where is this written? Its my life to do whatever i want with. I'm childfree and not marrying. I'm far from useless. I can't say what my job actially is but its in Intelligence. I save lives. I'm also the primary earner - so again, not useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 09:00 AM
1

From this thread- appreciation, noticing , not acting as though they are invisible, acting as it they are wanted... and strangely, not picking other men over them. Its not clear if this applies to strangers to men who are in your sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 11:25 PM
1

And 'noticing'? what does that mean? I dont walk into the back of someone in the supermarket, i don't step on anyones toes when I'm standing on the train. I think that's noticing. I don't really feel compelled to chase down that random guy in the street to force a greeting in him. I don't really consider whether some stranger has had a compliment in the last month, and think I'd better shore up his self esteem. We both know how that would end anyway. Maybe this is to do with the fact that men se…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 11:22 PM
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Respect means basic human decency. Its got nothing to do with sex. Dating is discriminatory by its very nature. Am i supposed to fuck every guys who wants me just so i don't hurt his feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 11:06 PM
1

Of course you're invisible! Most people are. I think nearly everyone goes around in their own bubble, thinking their own thoughts, not acknowledging others ( unless forced to). If I don't know you then i don't 'like' you, i don't want you and i don't particularly want you near me. I'm not sure exactly what it is you are after? Really, im serious- what is it that youd like? (and also do you want the same treatment from men?) Unless you are in my personal sphere then you are invisible to me- even …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 10:42 PM
1

Oh dear. If i was ever be single again, I'd have no idea how to meet someone lol. Im not going near online dating- that just seems like uncomfortable interviews to me shudder (i don't drink so pubs are not great and i really dislike eating out lol. so i guess I'm screwed lol!)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 06:28 PM
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I'm not sure where you're from but where i live most of my friends and acquaintances don't take time to build rapport. We meet at a pub or club, get drunk, wander over to the 'victim' (lol) and after a bit of chatter go in for the kill. I think this sub downplays the role alcohol has in sexual encounters. (Which is why i no longer drink) I'm almost 50 and I've met all my partners this way. The guy im with for the last 20 years bought me a pint and more or less just kissed me (after gauging my in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 06:07 PM
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I think its because most women sex drive is reactive. If a guy can't flirt or build tesion then hes basically asexual to me . I don't want a relationship where my guy can't turn me on, that's a dead bedroom. (d my part in turning him on- its not one sided) Its unfortunate but amount of having your shit together translates into 'sexy".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:02 PM
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Because you'll always be the guy that it took effort and time to find attractive- versus the guys that she wanted straight away. Personally, I'm attracted straight away or it never happens. Its the interaction that gives me 'tingles/ butterflies/extitement'. If its not there initially its never going to develop- but that's just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:56 AM
1

I think they call that nichemaxxing. Im Goth. I really appreciate aesthetics. My guy is extreamly into his outfits and looks- he's known for it and i really appreciate it. Personally i only ever dated Goths/metalheads. I still get plenty of attention from what we call 'shirt boys' in the rock club (smart shirts and slacks- trendies here to snag a Goth girl) - but to be honest im not spending all this time and effort looking the way i do - only for the guy im with to be a boring shirt boy. The ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 09:03 AM
9

I know its been a strain with my patents friends when the husband retires but still expects the wife to do all the cooking and cleaning. Plus when my Dad retired he went full- on old man. He stopped showering and wore the same clothes. He hoarded stuff and stopped going out. It was probably depression. My Mum joined clubs, went to the gym, saw her friends every week and my Dad resented her for it. Guess he wanted her to rot with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 10:25 AM
1

My long term partners i met at: House party Rock club the same rock club a different rock club Other places ive met guys rock gigs rock pubs I'm neurodivergent and sometimes the noise gets to me. These days i wear Loops earplugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:44 AM
1

I've done it before but only when drunk. . Always regretted it afterwards because i just felt yucky that i let a stranger be that intimate with me . My issue is that im a Goth/ metalhead so my dating pool was always limited to my social scene- and we all know each other lol. Im not interested in long distance or e-dating ( don't really see the point) Tinder wouldn't work for me as there are hardly any Goth guys on there. (I've seen it on a colleagues phone). I do know that alternative dating sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 11:04 AM
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I was thinking more that guys like the emotional closeness that a relationship supplies , which they don't necessarily have with their friends. I guess dick is in abundance for most women, as long as we are not too picky. Most women i know are very picky though- anonymous dick is not really my style or my friends style .
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 10:17 AM
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This is true. I've been engaged twice and turned down 2 further proposals. I've never slept with a guy without him asking for a some kind of relationship afterwards. I put this down to them not getting lucky much and wanting a regular supply- im realistic that whilst im alright, im not a 10/10. Most guys i know want relationships more than women i know. (There are lots of reasons for this)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:03 AM
1

I do agree with pre selection bias. I know I've passed over a couple of guys when my friends expressed disapproval. Not a big deal to me as there were plenty more guys out there. I think the late bloomer stereotype seems to correlate to unappealing characteristics: lack of social skills/ extreme introvert passive lack of sexual skill- especially flirting/ building sexual tension (i still love to flirt with my partner) possibly ugly/ short etc. religious or sheltered up bringing. insecurity. This…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 08:59 AM
1

I'm pretty conservative. I don't think some sex acts are okay, i don't support porn or sex work. BDSM gives me serious ick. (Sensation play is a cross over area imo- e.g. light spanking or biting - but not in a bdsm context). I don't sext or do "dirty talk'. I don't send nudes- mainly because sex talk needs to be "sweet talk' and i can't get turned on unless its in person. I don't want dick pics- ever. I think very revealing clothing isn't nice. I like feminine and more suggestive clothing. I am…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:50 AM
1

I have ....but it killed the love little by little...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 05:32 PM
1

Essential and he must be obviously into it. I've only ever met one guy who said he wasn't usually into it. Most guys are absolutely mad about it. Good sex will totally change my feelings about the guy . Ill never forget the best sex of my life- sadly were not compatible outside of the bedroom. Bad/boring sex (and kissing) is an automatic disqualifier.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:54 PM
1

Generally they are enjoying the flirty banter but dont want it to actually go anywhere. When you take it seriously we run away. When you give up , we want the fun back- but at a distance. Its for fun, not real.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:25 PM
1

No. Its not common at all for women. Personally I've never once felt depressed after masterbation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:44 AM
1

I never said they were fuck boys. 1 probably was but the other 2 were just not ready to date imo. I did give up pretty quickly, that's true. Its not for me, I'm more comfortable meeting people the old fashioned way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:31 PM
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I'm not having kids so it doesn't really matter long term. I wasn't really that serious about finding anyone. I only signed up out of curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:07 PM
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It was totally crazy as i know most came from people just swiping fast on eveyone and not even looking at the profile. The majority can't even have been local- probably all over the world. Its useless. I had 3 matches (think i swiped on about 5 guys) - 1 wanted casual sex or sexting, 1 wanted to 'win the breakup' with his recent ex (he spent the whole conversation replaying every argument they had) and the other had only broke up with his ex because he had to move with work and was very obviousl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 01:32 PM
1

It wasn't me :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:41 AM
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They are 'likes' not matches. You get a report on the number of 'likes' you get even if you dont match with them. I got 3500 likes in 3 days. Did the same thing and deleted it. It was ridiculous..
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:28 AM
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My sex drive is totally reactive. If my guy flirts with me, touches me or deeply kisses me- im.ready to go. If im having regular good sex, then my drive outstrips most men. I want it all the time (hours and hours!) im flirty, sexual in daily life when im in this situation. If its bad sex (ie. poor kissing or foreplay and just jack hammering ) then ill leave it. I won't want to bother. The longer i go without sex, the less i want it. I think its the opposite for men. I think they have spontaneous…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 08:52 AM
1

He looks interesting. In this context, for me that means: I notice his look first - is he a Goth/Metalhead? Do i like his outfit- bonus points for flare and style? remove points if i dislike his style (no frilly shirts for me!. I like more industrial rather than Victorian ) Is his face interesting? I like characterful faces- not square jawed jock types. I also seem to prefer middle eastern looking men, or nordic looking guys.i like large noses and either skinned heads or long hair. Is his physiq…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 09:47 AM
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Dealbreaker, completely irrelevant to me. I might be able to tell if they have a nice face or something but id never consider hooking up or dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 02:43 PM
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As a Goth who has only ever dated Goths/ Metalheads - when i say i like Goths/Metalheads , i mean Goth guys/Metalheads that im attracted to. 5/10 Goth is still a 5/10 to me. A mainstream guy is like background- doesnt even register to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 09:33 AM
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This is kinda pre supposing that friends and family disappear at 35. You still get into 'ladies nights for free" at any age or appearance. I've never seen a bouncer let women in free unless it was Ladies night- presumably they would get in trouble. I'm in my 40s (and have a partner, no kids by choice) but my female friends are in touch constantly, we chat, we go out, we celebrate our birthdays, we even go on holiday together that wouldnt evaporate once i turn 35. My father might need looking aft…
/r/AllPillDebate19/07/23 08:30 AM
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I don't know any woman who acts like this. I certainly havent. I've been stalked twice and its terrifying. It might be different for me because i tend to the avoidant side but building fantasies about someone, cyber stalking them etc is creepy..it feels threatening or at least weird. I even hate it when guys say 'I've been thinking about you' or 'i can't stop thinking about you' or even ' i miss you' when you don't really know me. (I really don't miss people or think of them when they are not ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 12:00 PM
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Maybe where you are from but not here. Most people of both sexes have had one night stands. All my long term partners have known that I've had ONS before and i know that they have too. Its not an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 02:19 PM
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I got what you said but what can we do when guys want to make up their own reasons? They are drawing wrong conclusions and creating a narrative around it. What do you want us to do about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 02:11 PM
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You are right when completely sober but add alcohol into the mix. I think I've actually been sexually attracted to 5% of the guys I've fucked. Completely substanceless and the guy is 100% interchangeable and forgettable. And as for going gay , ive known straight girls go round clubs asking women to make out because they are drunk and horny- but dont want to make out with a guy as they get carried away and expect more. Thats why i don't drink when i go out any more. It makes me horny and i make p…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 02:09 PM
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You said you don't understand - so i explained it. If men dont want to understand womens reasons for what they do and instead make their own narrative that's on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 11:36 AM
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You think women.bond with every man they sleep with? You think women only sleep with guys they are attracted to? Lol. How about drunk and horny? Then hopefully you never see them ever again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 10:48 AM
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Guy : you dont want a relationship with hum so you dont care what he thinks of you. You are never going to see him again - or if you do on a very casual basis you still dont care. You use him for sex but he's not good enough to invest your life with . Guy 2: you think you have a future with so you care very much what he thinks of you, so every move is very considered. You want to build emotions before sex. Sex is not a reward. Thats not how women think of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 10:39 AM
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ND man and NT woman is not that rare in my experience. My mother and father for instance or my sister and brother in law. Also my brother and his girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:44 AM
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I think it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want with your partner. For me, i don't aspire to a luxurious lifestyle- not into designer bags, expensive jewellery, dining out or travel. I love to dance, to make clothes, swim and hike. ( with some geeky intellectual interests thrown in) all of which is quite cheap. Im in senior management and have no mortgage or car payments, no debt. I've always dated lower paid partners- admins, unskilled manual workers. Its not. been an issue If i was plann…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:39 AM
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I don't see a problem with that. Why would i be looking to add difficulties into my life?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:57 AM
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As an autistic woman- no. My weirdness does not mean i tolerate other peoples weirdness. If anything I'm more likely to find his adjustments and needs incompatible with mine. You are just doubling the issues in the relationship. Please stop telling autistic guys to seek out autistic women. I've seen short ugly NT guys do so much better with women than tall, hansome autistic guys. Doesnt matter what someone looks like if they make me uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 08:00 AM
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The guys i was talking about were guests unfortunately so it makes it harder to pinpoint the episode. Yes, i believe imogen was jn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 07:16 AM
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Is it that old??? Surely not 15 years ago lol. I honestly can't pinpoint the episode series. The autistic guy was tall and dark haired, bad skin guy was dirty blonde- maybe cockney? They went on a booze cruise on the last day. It was maybe something like 3rd series. Don't think the the fat guy was the boss at the time. The welsh twat was in it though. Maybe a scouse girl??? I remember the autistic guy following one girl from the pool to the bar and monotone asking questions 'so, you said you lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 07:00 PM
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Depends on whether they are willing to work on social skills. I personally have not met an autistic guy who i liked the personality of. It could just be my experience but the ones i met were self-centered and narcissistic. They wanted everything on thier own terms all of the time and refused to temper comments or keep their views to themselves under the guise of 'the truth shouldn't hurt'. The black and white thinking played into beleivinh in rigid gender roles which im not keen on. Personally I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 12:57 PM
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Im an autistic woman who have male family members who are autistic. They are good looking guys but they can't mask for long. I have had autistic male friends try to date me. These are their social mistakes. Flat aspect- they are hard to listen to, with no rise and fall in tone. They info dump and can't read the signals about when to stop. They zone out when the conversation isn't interesting to them - sometimes being quite blunt about it. They can't do small talk- which builds tension and bonds …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 08:57 AM
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Low n count does not equal less experience with good sex though. My first was had had sex once before me. He was an amazing with the most beautiful penis I've ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:34 AM
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My personal story. I get pretty horny around ovulation. I'm more likeky to dress up and go out drinking and dancing. Im more likely to meet a guy (I've never used Tinder). Alcohol also makes me really horny. So I've had quite a few one night stands. (Bad judgement) None of the guys have been hot, none of the sex was any good (for me) and the big issue is that... I'm really good at sex. This is not kinky, not that way but i show desire, i touch all over the body, i connect deeply for that moment.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:24 AM
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Its just an example of how its a whole -body condition . I have a few neurodivergent conditions and i train people on neurodiversity. I have developed a training programme for the government. Its a really interesting feild. I always knew i was different from other people - but it was being threatened with a disciplinary for botching 'menial " tasks while highly performing at work , that pushed me for a diagnosis. Associated conditions i experience are ARFID, PMDD, EDS - and probably more. It has…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 10:33 AM
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There are a couple of things to note. Autism is a whole- body condition. It does affect your looks on a genetic level- certain facial ratios are common to Autistics (Autism face), the gait can be affected by EDS and the gut is affected which impacts nutrition (also ARFID). Also lots of little things like Autistic people are more likely to have a double crown, and 90% (estimate) of autistic women have PMDD. Autism is not correlated with high intellect -no more than the wider populace. I am Autist…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 09:32 AM
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Or maybe it indicates that you're not going to get all obsessed, clingy and needy. It indicates that you are not suddenly making the woman the centre of your world and will expect her to coddle you and cheer lead for you and become your only source of emotional support etc That would totally set you apart from other guys. As you might guess from what i wrote- it seems that there are so many guys out there with scarcity mindset that they become obsessive very quickly. Simping is 100% indicator fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 09:18 AM
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I wrote about this previously. Some guys try to date by stealth using covert contracts rather than social skills. They offer gifts and acts of service in the hope of eliciting feelings. The see the acceptance of these as acceptance of courtship. They see this as an audition for boyfriend status which they think they are entitled to since the object of affection accepted their gifts or acts. Its a doomed strategy. Gifts and favours do not elicit romantic/ sexual feelings in most women. As much as…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 09:00 AM
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In my personal experience it is about 60%. A lot of it stems from low self esteem- being unable to escalate, refusing to learn how to flirt and build tension. (Its too hard! Its not "me'!, why do I have to do this?) There was a guy on here who said that he sets his sights on a girl and he either builds a whole romance in his head, so when he finally approaches or ' confesses' his emotions are very strong, overwhelming- or the opposite, he thinks that on paper they would be a good match and so as…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 10:27 AM
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It depends what your demographic for dating is? Do you want a trendy woman? As a Goth, I've only ever dated metal heads and Goths (and briefly one punk). I would not be compatible with a 'normie'. My friend circle are between 35-60. All Goths, metal heads and punks. All high performing profesionals (HR, Drs, Various other medical professions, Professors, Business owners etc). Most dress pretty alternative on a daily basis and go for it on nights out. The places we go have people ages 20-70- most…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 07:41 AM
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Of course if I liked a guy I'd find a natural opportunity to introduce myself to him. Even having autism, i still approach people, including other women I'd like to be friends with. That's how the world works. People who stand around waiting to be noticed are not going to get anywhere generally speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 01:21 PM
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If I'm understanding this correctly, you say that if a guy isn't speaking to you or acting like he likes you back- then women should just keep pursuing him anyway? Personally I'd feel like that would be harassment on my part.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 09:06 AM
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The other day, I had a guy cross the road to congratulate my partner on me. He wanted to shale his hand. Wtf??
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 11:40 AM
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It's called Sissy Hypno porn. It gives a sense of euphoria from the hyno element and the taboo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:03 AM
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Don't forget: Men are the more rational gender; women are the emotional and irrational ones! / s
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