InsoucianceISay Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
12	If he walks faster than you in public, DUMP HIM Unfortunately, these may be just the first two things that popped into your mind, and likely there are a lot of other disrespectful or unkind things he does in a similar vein. I'm so sorry you are experiencing that. I hope that FDS gives you comfort as well as guidance for your next step to queendom.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/02/21 04:17 PM
2	LVM interactions with your pets that set off alarms? My ex would say unkind things about our critters or mock them (ex: dog came into the kitchen and was dancing around in excitement, and ex said in a rude voice, "Oh, look at me, I'm a stupid dog, look at me, I'm dancing around like a retard".) And yet weirdly, he LOVED our pets, so... wtf??? I would tell him he was being mean, and he would brush me off with, "Whatever, they don't know what I'm saying". And I would point out, "Yes, but YOU know what you're saying". Looking back, it should have bee…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/02/21 10:56 PM
2	What other women's contributions throughout history were attributed to men by sheer default? We may never know. That series is on Amazon's BritBox subscription - I think that's why it's hard to find on YouTube, etc. Pretty much any episode with Sandi (as host or panelist) is great - I love Stephen but Sandi has such a wonderful dry wit and understands how women get overlooked.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/02/21 08:37 PM
8	Just me? The final thing on my wish list is a kissing machine, and then officially I'll have no more use for dating. Ladies, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. It's just a matter of time... google "Kissenger"! 💋	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/02/21 02:48 PM
37	What other women's contributions throughout history were attributed to men by sheer default? We may never know. It was QI Series L, an episode called "Lucky Losers", when Stephen was still host and Sandi was a panelist. Stephen was explaining how in ancient Greece there were statues with penises that were rubbed for luck, but one time after a failed war (I think?), the penises were chiseled off. Sandi then said something about how women being the revered ones for reproduction had happened in goddess-oriented cultures.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/02/21 06:46 AM
52	Gaslighting 🚨 Never, ever, EVER allow a man to weasel his way so deep into your psyche that these sentences seem like reasonable responses. They are MANIPULATIVE through and through I counted - more than a third of the things in this list were used by the NVX narc that I recently escaped. And most of them word for word. I ended it when I finally understood what he was doing, but the years of hell I went through before I caught on? Gaslighting is just so fucking insidious and torturous. If anyone who is reading this has been on the receiving end of even one of those statements, please please PLEASE reach out to people who really care for you and let them help you. When you a…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/02/21 01:19 AM
53	Just me? YES. This ⬆⬆⬆ And OP, if your own trusty B.O.B. still hasn't tamed that tension enough, may I suggest try rounding out the experience a bit? For me, the jackpot was two things: first, I bought a travel size bottle of a men's body wash that had always made me go weak in the knees. Just opening the lid is enough for me - I'm going for 'slight hint in the air', not 'sear my nostrils shut'. Second, I found an ASMR video of a dude whispering in Slovak. It's perfect because I have no idea what he's sa…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/02/21 09:24 PM
10	What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting? Remembered another one that ended up being inadvertently a bit gross, though not insulting. It was after showering for the first time at one boyfriend's place. I stepped into the hallway to head back to his bedroom when LVX walked up to me. He inhaled deeply, wrapped his arms around me, and whispered gently and sweetly into my ear, "That's the best that bathroom has ever smelled." Now, I know he was admiring the scent of my candied apple body wash and shampoo, but what popped into my mind and st…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/02/21 02:22 PM
10	What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting? In my experience, people who say stuff like that end up being major mouth-breathers and atrocious kissers, and the reality ends up being akin to a St. Bernard puppy at your ear. Pant, pant, sluurrrrp.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/02/21 02:01 PM
48	treated myself simply bc i can ✨ Woooooow! Ring is gorgeous, nails are amazing and HOW do you have silky smooth looking hands and not have cuticles of doom this horrible winter??? Please bestow your wisdom, queen.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/02/21 12:32 AM
48	What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting? Not so much 'cute and romantic', more he thought it was a huge compliment: I had severe tonsillitis for several days (like, coughing up blood even while on all kinds of medications after seeing doctor). The guy I was seeing dropped by and muttered about why I hadn't been answering my phone. I said a bit waspishly that I'd still been sick, can't he hear it in my voice, how scratchy my throat was? His face completely lit up as he said, "I was just thinking about how sexy your voice sounds, all bre…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/02/21 11:54 PM
3	Have men always been so bad? Hmm. Same generation as you but I received plenty of requests (and occasional demands) for anal/rimming in the 90s and 00's. 🤮	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/02/21 11:37 PM
12	Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-In I was thinking something similar - the trend of how he acts for these smaller things may be key. I think that popped into my mind because of the pandemic; I've noticed some people are studiously avoiding touching other people's personal belongings. But these same people often still do a multitude of kind things in other ways.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/02/21 11:38 PM
11	It doesn’t have to be terrible 24/7 in order for you to leave. TW (rape) and initially tangential: I am reading the anthology Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay. My inexpert summary is that it’s an exploration of the impact on self of living within a society which sanitizes, condones or even encourages sexual violence while dismissing survivor’s voices (and women’s in particular). One of the recurring themes is that each author minimizes their experience. In some ways doing this seems to be about emotional self-preservation. But mainly…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/02/21 03:37 AM
7	Women in their 30s are more attractive than women in their 20s. YES! Recently I was speaking to some young people, and I surprised/intrigued them by mentioning that I absolutely wouldn't want to be in my 20's again because life gets so much better as you get older. Cheers to the insight that comes with being 40+🥂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/02/21 03:58 PM
18	Everybody: what are you doing on Valentine’s Day? I’m sure you have plenty of people you can date. My potential Valentine’s: Snorted coffee out my nose at this. WIN!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/02/21 03:22 PM
14	Don't let guys you met in OLD soak up your time for free! Same here. (Granted, I don't do OLD, so I may not understand the inside culture of it.) I don't really enjoy texting or even emailing very much, and so I use it sparingly. May I suggest for the ladies who are getting stuck in digital convo ruts as they OLD: perhaps think about getting back to FDS basics? To me, that means loving your (single) life so much, and having so much fun and fulfillment from it, that your time is sacred to you. If a stranger, whose only interactions with you are on an el…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/02/21 02:56 PM
7	The dudes who send unsolicited d pics make no sense Wow - excellent summary, I'm saving your comment! May I suggest one slight alteration: "Projection by selfish, egotistical men who have never bothered to consider the fact that women are different than themselves." That's just a personal quirk for me though. Recently I decided to try not to refer to them as stupid, because I think that word can subtly minimize their responsibility for their behaviors. (Although indeed they are acting willfully stupid, "stupid" may still imply a little wiggle roo…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/02/21 06:20 PM
15	The dudes who send unsolicited d pics make no sense Last year I read about a study done on this topic - article citation below. In summary: a lot of guys meant it to be flirtatious and hoped you'd send photos back (although I'm guessing they weren't necessarily expecting a d-pic in exchange...). I vaguely remember reading another article where the researcher said that a lot of the photos they send aren't even of their own junk, but are random images they find online. Great, just when I thought I couldn't be more appalled 🙄 Unfortunately, I can't …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/02/21 03:30 AM
18	And there it is Small town USA. In some ways, the people can be amazingly kind and supportive, and in other ways, deeply suspicious of anything that is different from what they are used to.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/02/21 11:42 PM
59	And there it is So much truth here 👏 The only difference for me is, that in my little corner of the world, it's the women who currently are acting shocked that I don't plan on looking for another man. (Here, a woman not getting married or shacking up with someone is considered to be vaguely weird/mentally unwell/possibly perverted or something.) It's irrational thinking to me. These same women complain endlessly about their useless or even abusive partners, and then cheerfully ask to fix me up with the abusive …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/02/21 04:03 PM
15	The Risks Associated with Dating in the Modern Era Same for me - I actually think of FDS as a life strategy, which happens to talk about dating :)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/02/21 03:38 AM
10	Forgive yourself if you can't follow FDS principles perfectly. It's okay to slip up as long as you recognize your mistakes and you vow to do better next time. I'm also finding the FDS perspective is making my life easier, happier and calmer. I stumbled upon FDS a couple of months ago, just as I was leaving a long-term bad relationship with a narc NVM. I spent years not being a priority even to myself, emotionally abused by an expert gaslighter to the point of completely losing myself. Thankfully a couple of years ago I finally began to clue in to what he was doing to me (narcissists are SO FRIGGIN' GOOD at screwing with your head), though I still boug…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/01/21 04:02 AM