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InspectionOk3946 Archive

View 0 posts and 104 comments by InspectionOk3946 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I hear all that man and I’m in an expensive area too and in the trades - it’s not about interest rates and prices etc (for sure those are important and interesting!). It’s not business advice it’s long term emotional advice. You can’t control other people or the economy and you can’t get time back with your kids - these are the truths I believe should be front of mind in all decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 03:33 PM
3

Sure it’s legal even if it may be kinda gross. Be confident enough in yourself to take note but brush it off because you can’t control it anyways. Keep this info in mind to protect yourself but consider it may be meaningless and from you SIL position it may not be something she wanted to do anyway but what’s she gonna do say no to her sister? Keep it all in mind moving forward but it probably means nothing. Don’t let these ehhh lets say nice ladies get to you because they don’t deserve it - c u …
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 02:22 PM
12

LOL you see this over and over here and elsewhere. It’s such a shortsighted dumb move and it’s vile. Usually what seems to happen is $10-20k is set on fire then everyone gets back to the initial agreement. It’s a joke. Anything you can do to convince her of this probability or maybe have your lawyer convince hers of this is worthwhile. Why are we setting money on fire needlessly we could use for our kids? That’s the real question.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 01:30 PM
2

Buying is optimal for sure long term however at this time I would strongly consider renting something very close to her and signing as short a lease as possible. Don’t let others push and rush you into long term decisions. Renting now is a kindness to yourself and your kids. Renting giving you the control and power you lost. Again, buying is best long term but short term not great. Rent for yourself out of love to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 01:23 PM
1

It’s a fine idea sort of mostly HOWEVER I would come back to her and ask that she work with you beforehand on all the specifics she wants and you want. Put something in writing together and then highlight the points you cannot agree to THEN see a mediator for those. This mediator bs can be a trap for reasons idk you can’t know. It’s probably some bs someone is feeding to her? Who knows?! you shouldn’t care. Let her put her money where her mouth is and get it done the cheapest way possible: by do…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 12:52 AM
1

I get where other people are coming from about just brushing it off etc and this is broadly good advice. However, your house is your boundary of which you have total control. It’s well within your rights to say ‘hey pal/buddy/chief/bro you’re not welcome here. Whatever you got going on elsewhere is your business but this is my house and you’re not welcome.’ Don’t argue about it and don’t be baited. Say it 1000 different ways without anger if you have to. End the conversation if you have to. Agai…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 01:09 PM
3

Stand your ground on 50/50 and removing all these accusations. If you can wait it out I would. If you can do this while not spending needlessly on legal fees I would. She will probably want to push to get a different outcome. If you keep standing your ground on the fact that these two items are non-negotiable you will be able to win. You can plan and write up what you want without her and without lawyers to save some time, money but that’s all. Remove these accusations and stop filing them and 5…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 12:58 PM
12

Heck yeah. Just take lots of pics and be tidy about it. Be nice and cool about it for YOU so YOU are always above her vile behavior. You’re better than her. Pack it up and even label it. Make it easy and seamless and inarguably calm for her to gtfo, again not out of kindness for her at all but for you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 02:14 AM
1

Block LOL
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:26 AM
6

This part is my favorite: when I ask she doesn’t do it because she says I’ll be upset if she does it wrong. Isn’t that fun? I can’t ask because if I do it’s probably my fault if she does it wrong and even worse if I say something. It’s insanity. What I call a no win no win situation. I see it plain now and it’s funny to me and honestly I feel sad for her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:21 AM
3

Like the others say the relationship should probably end and it’s not good and your kid is the priority sorta - in that YOU are a real priority too. She is her own priority as well. You can hold all these feelings at once. Her desire for kids is real and I would have empathy for that and be kind and tell her you love that about her and understand (if you do) and also be real about your feelings. You can see and hold and have compassion for what seem competing things at once. The most important t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 10:36 PM
2

God I know man. Don’t drink. Find a person who loves you and is safe to talk openly with. Breathe. Love yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 12:45 AM
2

Leaving the house is the DUMBEST possible thing you can do. DO NOT LEAVE NO MATTER WHAT. This is not a joke. This is not negotiable. There is nothing good that happens from leaving for you or your future with your kids. You cannot take back the decision to leave and you will regret it every day for the rest of your life. Do the strongest dad thing in the world and stay. Work from home on your plans. Rent a storage unit or safe deposit box if you need a place to put stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 12:31 AM
1

This is the advice to follow. Document everything is key too. Don’t overthink it. Rando pics and video and audio recordings of real life. Save it. Back it up. Secure the cloud and change all the passwords. Advanced data protection on. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:08 PM
5

Try to love yourself as much as you loved her. Feel those feelings of sadness, all of them. Feel them and see them and acknowledge them and accept that those feelings are not wrong and do not make you wrong or weak or in need of another person to help you repress them or recover from the pain. This is a personal relationship with you that only you can repair. Give yourself room and grace to make mistakes to build yourself back better than before. This doesn’t require adding more activities or re…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 12:10 PM
6

As hard as it is you have to be a great dad and that’s what matters now. This relationship stuff with her goes into another box for now. She’s not your problem in terms of her happiness or trying to work on stuff. You get the kids 50% is what matters now. Sit with her and tell her this. Calmly. No anger. This is your boundary to not get sucked into her bs she may throw at you. No asking for relationship conversation. If she’s going then you both need a parenting plan. “We’re going to write that …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 11:50 AM
6

everything you need
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 08:40 PM
1

Dude it comes off as whiny. It comes off as whiny and weak. It’s hyperbolic whining. You have the ability and experience to be real and not whiny. Do better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 02:15 AM
8

“I’m keeping these. You’re not getting them back. Stop talking to me about this. The conversation is over.” Then walk away. Or add I don’t care what scares you fuck your feelings. I’m keeping these. Fuck what you think is weird. Have a blessed day. She’s sick man.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 02:06 AM
8

LOL time takes care of all this. Drink your tea and smile right in their faces. Be so nice. Nice to your disgraceful spouse as well. I’m living something like this myself. Happy to hangout and say hi to all these fools. Idk who knows what and who has what opinion of me but I AM SURE that soon enough everyone will be very aware I ain’t the crazy one talking shit behind anyone’s back. This fortitude takes epic gravitas. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 03:15 AM
34

Take all the money and cancel all the cards. Don’t wait. Been married this long she is gonna know you know very soon. Once you got all the money tell her to leave. This is not a mental health thing NOW. This is a savage self preservation war right now. Get therapy lined up but later.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 11:11 PM
1

Loving yourself enough so that you know you are enough for your kids allows them to see and feel love that will sustain them for life. You’ve been a strong dad and this is the time to be even stronger. Give yourself grace first.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 06:50 AM
2

You’re still protesting the loss of the relationship with her. Keep working on you and get to a place where her happiness is detached from you entirely. Your lack of connection with her should not affect you or your confidence as a partner or parent. You’re still at a place where it’s disappointing to you that she can’t find happiness and joy. Keep working and you’ll get to disgust at her lack of trying when you know it’s nothing to do with you, says nothing about you, and you no longer care. No…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 07:40 PM
2

Never leave your house no matter what. Work from there. You’re a rock. She can leave if she wants whenever. Tell her you’re not leaving ever but she can leave if she likes. Say this calmly without anger. No matter what she says do not engage with her anger. Keep working on you. Get to the place where it’s not even a thought to engage in an argument that gets you all fired up. She’s pushing you on purpose and you’re taking the bait. You need to laugh at it and not in a fake way either, but laughi…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 07:27 PM
3

If she wants to leave she can. This is the correct answer and best headspace to live in. Strongest dad shit you’ll ever do. Keep it up. I wouldn’t drag it out for years if possible. You’re doing everything right. Make a parenting plan with her but no talking about money.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:46 AM
4

Idk I’m married a long time too and I don’t see the problem if you do this at peace with yourself expecting and anticipating no response at all - that includes even a thank you. I don’t see the problem if you do it to be kind and that’s it and that’s the end and it’s really in a way for YOU and you’re totally at peace with that. Then go ahead. LOL I see others disagree. Idk maybe our marriages were less contentious or longer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:14 AM
2

There’s a lot to consider but the first priority is to protect yourself and your kids and this means moving all passports and documents you can away from her. A safe deposit box or different location she cannot access is best. Be careful. This is critical and you should not compromise on this. It’s not kidnapping for a mom to take the kids somewhere but that’s how it’s going to feel to you and you will have little recourse. You are at extreme high risk of losing your kids. Take it seriously. Als…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:47 PM
8

Leave it be. Leave the camera shhhhhh. You got kids? Then maybe a different plan idk. Information is power. Leave the camera and function knowing it’s there. Throw her lots of MaGuffins. Have fun with it and never tell her you know. Smiles up. And remember revenge porn results in serious felonies. Stay cool.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 02:46 AM
2

I hear you on all of these whoa I hear you for real. You may be able to fix these if you want. It’s tough. But you can maybe fix this so she can fix herself. She’s not hearing you and I get it that it feels as if she values you so little that she doesn’t WANT to listen. The problem is more complicated than that and also more difficult to fix. If you want to you can try telling her again in a deeper way that will require more vulnerability on your part to tell her how devalued you feel, how dismi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 02:13 AM
1

Authentically is the key word. Anything is possible sure. The problem is their choices are out of our control. I let go of the resentment and anger about it because it does nothing for ME. I act cordial and kind for ME. She’s confused by it. It’s easier for them to be victims and complain poor me if we’re angry. And dude I know I have so many reasons to be angry I just keep them there for myself. It’s like my terms of service for engaging with this woman product. I rarely read them but I know th…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 12:27 PM
1

Individual therapy. The problem with us as men is we truly want to take care of our wife and kids and make our wives happy. This can turn into a lot of self sacrifice on our part. This can turn into us looking to our wives for approval and validation. We want to know we’re doing a good job! This can be unhealthy particularly when our wives deny us connection and approval and validation. You can’t find these things from her anymore. She is telling you over and over she is unavailable - details ar…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:43 AM
1

I mean go quit then and put yourself in jail and set your money on fire - you already did with this attitude. If you want to be a father that your kids and friends can be proud of then fight. It’s not going to get better right away but if you don’t fight you will never get a do over you will never get the time back with your kids. It’s going to cost money and it’s going to take work. Get a father’s rights focused lawyer. Write down and record everything. Write down notes about your case and ever…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:43 PM
1

this ☝️ throw that shit right back but harder and with a genuine smile on your face because it is truly hilarious people be like this. “You look amazing for a what 68 year old? You barely look 60!” Meanwhile she’s 52. Throw it back harder.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:35 PM
8

Women want to be victims and for us to be the villains because idk it’s easier that way, neatly fits a societal narrative and helps them tell their friends and family about their horrible life and everyone will feel bad for them and give them consolation attention. When we as men upset that technique it’s difficult for women to deal with unless they’re seriously mentally ill. Keep going. Don’t get baited into pointless arguments. Her unhappiness has so little to do with you it’s a waste of energ…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:26 PM
0

Need more information. Very whiny sounding, sorry. Why are you in this situation? Does the grocery store CARE that you’re hungry? No. But they have food. You pay them and they give you food.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 01:59 AM
1

Is COBRA not an option here? Sounds like should be COBRA otherwise she should buy it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 01:13 AM
2

I have no idea. However if I was you I’d put it in a storage locker, pay for a couple months. Take video and inventory of all the stuff in there. Notify them and you’re done. Bam!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 07:29 PM
2

With rare exceptions: You should never leave until you have a parenting plan in place and finances agreed to. In writing legally.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 03:02 AM
0

F off ask chat gpt. Nobody should answer your ignorant questions. Read more books.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 02:23 AM
4

You’re doing this to yourself then? I’m reading this over and over and I can’t see it any other way. You’re acting like this is happening to you. You can make different choices and do different things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:47 AM
1

It’s not normal or acceptable. How old is your wife? Perimenopause? You need to immediately see a therapist on your own. I would strongly recommend a therapist outside of your faith community. Also idk all the details but overall sounds like you need some more confidence. Say no more often. Say she is being unacceptable. Communicate firmly but not in anger. You’re protesting the lack of care for you from her and her dismissing your needs or wants. You need to tell her and explain how it makes yo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:36 AM
0

Protection from what? No kids? The law is not a thing to play around with. Also, you don’t need her approval or permission to file. Particularly if there’s no kids this is straightforward.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:54 PM
1

Financial infidelity is a thing and there shouldn’t be my money and her money in a marriage it’s our money. That said, no matter what, no matter what is said or what happens: DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE The way you’ve been lying about money to your spouse and acting like a victim when she catches you in lies is something to reflect on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 03:11 AM
9

Here’s honest. Stop thinking about it. You have much bigger things to do right now. New p***** will fall from trees in time. To get there you need to put it out of mind. It’s squandering precious emotional energy and time resources to even think about now. Stand up straight. Plan your divorce. Detach from this witch emotionally except when it involves the kids. Maybe flirting in public if you want but that’s all.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 06:25 PM
1

Attempting to hide money will cost you way more money in the end. Don’t do it. Spending money for things that have a purpose and longer term value is worthwhile. Get a new phone, clothes etc. Not in a splurge way. Slowly within reason compared to previous spending but while spending a bit more. Be careful. No big fast moves. No gold. No crypto. If you own these assets already then do nothing. Let them sit and don’t buy more. Heed the advice of others and don’t think you’re smarter or found a new…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:58 PM
1

Read everything here. https://slimwiki.com/survival/getting-started/welcome
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:51 PM
1

A large safe with a code she can’t guess. This is where to store your documents and electronics so it should be kinda big. I’d consider a different safe at a friends or family house you really trust for the most important docs you rarely need or just for backups and copies of things in your home safe. Put trackers in both. Belt and suspenders. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:48 PM
2

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. follow this rule and the rest will be easier. This resource is helpful. https://slimwiki.com/survival/getting-started/welcome
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:34 PM
3

Do not miss any court dates and do not go without a lawyer. The court and your ex doesn’t care about your excuses. Make things happen and stop having life happen to you. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:30 PM
-1

It’s probably still half her house. If you’re all living there and doing life which includes more than simple payments on the mortgage in terms of upkeep and management then this paperwork protection doesn’t hold a lot of value. A prenup would help you but absent that it’s going to be a heavy lift to say her input into the house has no value. Based on the absurdly minimal info available in the question.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:26 PM
7

Don’t take more than one in 24 hrs. It’s worth it to try a few yourself to see how it works. Give or take it kicks in about an hour after HOWEVER depending on how full you are or how empty your stomach is it will work differently - essentially take longer to kick in. I’d rec as empty a stomach as possible. Don’t drink on it - unhelpful. LOL drink after if you like. It’s not magic in the way you may think like BAM and then it stays at attention for hours. It makes it way easier to stand at attent…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:56 AM
4

FWIW How Perimenopause Can Affect Your Decision to Divorce
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 07:18 PM
5

Dad, listen to me this is the strongest bravest dad thing you will ever do. You’re doing it now. You’re going to be amazing. Stay strong as hell bro. Cry sometimes and feel the pain, see it and say hi, don’t ignore it and breathe and then plan. Plan for yourself and your kid. You’re going for full legal and physical custody. Who cares how your ex feels about her kid. You control this situation. You tell your kid their mom loves them whether or not mom is there. You’re going to be amazing. You de…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 03:08 AM
2

I’m not clear on what YOUR goals are here. I’ve read it and I feel the pain deeply and I get it. The problem is I don’t have a sense of what you want or expect to receive. You have a right to be furious and you also need to have a plan for what you want and need. The way it’s written is things keep happening to you. Unfortunately you need to make what you need happen and work towards a goal.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 02:30 AM
1

Trust me I know but then I was in this situation and felt lost and now I feel fine. This is brand new to me as well. It’s a gift to myself and I’m old and this was brand new to me and felt weird and gross. But now that I’m here I assure you it’s a thing and it’s amazing. It solves a problem that seems trivial but it’s not. Real ones be back in time lol until then…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 01:16 PM
1

It solves a sex problem and a hand is not the same. It’s a different experience and relief. I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s true.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 12:54 PM
10

WE should not be looking at money. No more WE. Focus. You need to work on you. She gone. She don’t care and nothing good will come of it for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 02:44 AM
4

No. Bad idea. Work on yourself as others said and also get a rubber vag. It’s very helpful. Seriously. Who cares anymore?! Helps a lot. Take care of yourself. The rubber vag doesn’t create new problems but solves a very basic one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 02:41 AM
11

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. the rest is details. get a lawyer. seriously, not moving no matter what is step one and is not debatable ever.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 03:28 AM
1

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. DO NOT MOVE. plz read this sub more. DO NOT MOVE. NO. NOT NOW. NOT IN TWO MONTHS. NO. there is a right answer - do not move. If you want to be a good dad DO NOT MOVE OUT NO MATTER WHAT. IDGAF if she has millions. YOU LEAVE YOU LOSE AND YOU CANNOT GET IT BACK. Man up. This is the strongest dad thing you will ever do. Make some tea. Get cozy. You ain’t going nowhere bro.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 03:11 AM
1

There’s really nothing to do until or if you move back to the US. Until then you’re going to have to bear it. She probably knows this and doesn’t want to leave. Idk. Sounds like you need to take a trip home with them and stay and wait for her. Idk though. It’s tough. Protect your and your kids passports and docs if you can. Keep them in your own safe only you have access to or your own safe deposit box only in your name.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 02:44 PM
3

What is the ownership structure of your business and the ballpark amount of money involved? Does the biz own property?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 12:32 AM
1

You have done nothing wrong. She is sick and you can’t fix her and her inability to love you has nothing to do with you. Now. Start seeing a therapist and get a lawyer. You’re getting a divorce. DO NOT TELL ANY OF THIS TO YOUR WIFE. DO NOT MOVE OUT. be kind to her and your kids and stay focused. More than anything love yourself. You do not need her approval or affection or validation. You’ve gotten this far so keep it up. Stay strong with steel balls for real. Now, Open new bank accounts in your…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 03:41 AM
4

Dude that sounds wildly inappropriate and I would be extremely careful with this supposed friend. He should be shutting down the conversation with her and telling you and if he’s not as you believe you should block him and move on. It’s gross and vile. Pointless to confront anyone. She has a fake boundary violating friend now I guess that used to be your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 03:02 PM
2

Stability and consistency and the best interest of the child is the primary consideration in these matters. If you give in now to something other than 50/50 you’re creating a new normal that will be tremendously difficult to overcome. Basically outside parties will perceive this as you saying your job is more important than this kid and it’s going to look terrible for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:53 PM
2

Yeah you’re living with a ghost. You two and her trauma ghost. Boo! It pops up I bet at the worst times like the Kool Aid man. The problem won’t go away unless everyone acknowledges the damn ghost is in the room. Boo! The problem is this is her problem only and there’s nothing you can do. It’s a therapy issue that won’t be addressed until she wants to try.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:48 PM
2

Be mad and furious and want revenge for sure. Your feeling are normal and valid. Try to hold two things at once. See that anger and tell yourself it’s legit and true and the next step, the other thing to hold is, I want to do XYZ thing to express this anger but what’s that going to do for me? Nobody else matters. These garbage people who wronged you deserve nothing but contempt and inattention. Expressing your anger at them ain’t going to do nothing for YOU. It’s a tricky balance but talking abo…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:38 PM
0

I’m not where you are. And I know VERY MUCH what I’m talking about. But ok. Thanks for your feedback
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 01:45 AM
2

“Father’s rights lawyer” is a highly recommended search term.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 07:16 PM
11

You need a new best friend then because this one hates you. Love yourself enough to accept it. Money posts here are the solution. New accounts. Pay half the mortgage. Take care of kids. Her life is irrelevant to you now. Her happiness not your problem. Her finances not your problem. She hates you. Man up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 07:13 PM
1

Please see a therapist by yourself and go from there. If you speak another language try to find a therapist who speaks whatever language you’re most comfortable using. Go from there. Love yourself enough to give this gift to yourself. Thanks for talking to us here.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 04:10 PM
1

WTF is this dude. If you were a woman?! OMFG man. Your support system either doesn’t have all the info or is ignorant. Get a lawyer yesterday. Tell them everything and document every crazy from here on out and write down the past crazy best as you can. Take lots of pictures lots of contemporaneous notes. Let her leave the country after the divorce - sounds super convenient tbh. She’s abusing you and you need to call the cops if it happens again. DO NOT DISCUSS ANY OF THIS WITH HER. IT IS POINTLE…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:43 PM
1

It’s not clear what your question or problem is. Please revise for clarity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:18 PM
1

It’s not clear what your question or problem is. Please revise for clarity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:18 PM
2

Idk where you are but where I am that’s an automatic 90 days in jail no questions, no arguments nothing you can do man or woman. You go to jail immediately. It’s as unambiguous as it gets legally. I’m guessing you’re not in one of these places?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:15 PM
2

Combustible regular cigarettes. For real. Way way too much nicotine in vapes. Cigarettes then get to quitting that later. Vaping is an illusion of better than cigarettes and extremely more addictive. Unless you’re a total maniac you won’t be smoking inside whenever. Then later get some patches lozenges gum whatever and quit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 03:55 AM
6

You need a parenting plan. Here are some topics that plan should address. This is a detailed list of things. If she’s actually amicable she should be able to work on them with you. Partners, Doctors, School, Parenting Schedule, Safety, Religious Values, Childcare, Rules, Special Events, Electronics and Screen Time, Social Media, Prohibited Individuals, Taxes, College, Work, Alcohol and or Drugs, Documents, Family Visits, Life Insurance, Communication, Dual Responsibilities, Disputes, Summer Acti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 01:14 AM
2

Thats perfect man - you sound in touch with all those emotions and it’s so healthy to see all of them. Awesome. Keep it up. It’s not about reconciling now it’s about firmly protecting yourself and your relationship with the kids first. Unfortunately, her needs and wants and desires are not your problem or concern anymore. She is last now. Accepting that reality without anger towards her is an important step and understandably difficult to do because it’s the opposite of what good married men try…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 01:03 AM
14

No. Your answer is no to her. She is not nice not amicable or looking out for your best interests or the kids. She is manipulating you and looking out for herself. Tell her firmly and clearly no. That said tell her you are very willing to work on a parenting plan and proceed with the notes in the plan. Otherwise, she is creating a new status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 12:41 AM
14

You need to stop talking. Don’t giver her anything to grasp. No info on anything divorce related EVER. Stop talking about it yesterday. It’s going to do nothing good for you. Stop reaching for a response from her that will give you some hope. It’s over and time for you to live and respect yourself and make your own plans accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:13 PM
1

Crucify yourself then. You’ll never be the dad you need to be if you do. Man up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 05:40 PM
1

I would stop trying to look to her for validation and love that she can’t give probably because she has her own problems. Love yourself enough to accept that and see a therapist on your own. Those are the first steps.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 04:14 PM
2

This is nuts man. What is all this I don’t have time BS? Man up. If the most important thing is 50% custody you need to focus and let go of trying to be with her in any nice way. Be nice. Heck, be NICER to her and more compassionate and plan your life, your divorce. DO NOT MOVE ANYWHERE. It is your house and the place where your kids live. Stop thinking about new places to live - this is lowest priority now. Start documenting all her crazy. Tons of pictures tons of audio of normal life - don’t o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 02:20 AM
6

You will not get the high ground back and be the one with the power that you love this kid you did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for. You move out you are the POS to the court and to your kid. The money is complicated and almost irrelevant. Love yourself. Man up. Stay. Tell her to get the f out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 03:38 AM
4

Ok chief. Sounds like you got it then. Just know you ain’t gonna get it back when you move out. It’s simply the dumbest thing you can possibly do for you and for your kid. Man up. Love yourself. You deserve better. Tell her to get the f out. Love yourself man.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 03:30 AM
1

It’s going to cost some money. You want free anything else? Free construction work? Dude to be frank you sound like a very annoying client that I would run from if I was a lawyer. Man up. It’s going to cost you a few grand at least. If you want your wife to take less then you’re going to have to pay more to a lawyer. You can save by having all your stuff together ahead of time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 01:04 AM
7

She exited this marriage long ago. Get the work done on the divorce you want then get her to exit the physical house. It’s not a marriage and it’s unhealthy for everyone. Love yourself as much as you’ve attempted to love her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:43 AM
7

Do not move out. Tell her to move out. Are you nuts? Do not move out. She can leave. Hell, she’s already left emotionally anyway. If you move out it does nothing good for you in terms of custody or money. It’s nuts to move out. She needs to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:37 AM
1

“Father’s rights lawyer STATE or PLACE” are the search terms you need to use and go from there per your preferences
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 01:46 AM
7

It’s probably even worse than that tbh. Consider that even the therapy from this supposed therapist is fake. Consider the therapist is cover to backup any and all bs allegations she files against you and the therapist is cover to say “oh no it’s the therapist that made me do this thing I didn’t want to” it’s classic, lawyer recommended and been done to 1000s of other men. She’s silly to put it mildly.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 01:34 AM
8

Listen man. She going to be so unhappy and meet so many mentally disturbed women. So many women with substance abuse and sick abuse histories. It’s not happy it’s tragic and sad. And you know what? You’ll be fine. She’ll be not fine and so it goes. It’s only sad for her and happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 03:40 AM
9

Stop focus. Do not represent yourself. Get a credit card right now. Your income is both your incomes. You need a lawyer and you need to focus. Do you want to be an awesome dad? Yeah then focus. Your post is filled with a lot of overwrought BS. You need money. You need a lawyer. You need to STAY IN YOUR HOUSE AND STAY A DAD NO MATTER WHAT. Do not leave. Do not agree to anything. Get a loan. Idk take out some reitrement early. Open new bank accounts and credit cards in your name. Focus man. This l…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 09:51 PM
3

FWIW perimenopause I don’t know man if you’ve been to counseling and it’s pointless with her then maybe go alone and see if divorce is right. It may be for you and it may motivate her to idk try to be a better wife. Sounds like she’s unhappy and depressed and it’s nothing to do with you and can’t be fixed by you. It’s mostly sad and I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 03:49 AM
1

You’re still married right and she’s rich? Ok. Now got get more than one zero interest credit card and your income is both your incomes now. Handle your business. You don’t get the time back with your kids. Fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:33 AM
6

Whoa whoa whoa. Hey don’t be unkind to yourself. Relationships take TWO people. The thing is you aren’t the key to her happiness or unhappiness. You are not going to make her “happy” that’s something we do for ourselves. When one person isn’t giving you feedback and communicating with you it’s so easy to put all the blame on yourself. Give yourself a break. You aren’t going to unlock her happiness and same for you. If you’ve tried communicating and asking her and actively working with her and it…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 08:58 PM
5

There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing you can do differently or say to make this person give you the basic love you’re looking for and you deserve better. It’s a big realization to come to that her problems are detached from you. I hear you that you want to help fix this, to talk it out, but that takes two people and she’s not interested. It’s not you. You deserve better. Let her go and know that her happiness has nothing to do with you either way. You can’t make this person happy and …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 02:06 PM
1

Obviously take your half and put it into accounts with your name only, preferably in an entirely new bank. You need to get a lawyer and ask for nothing except a freeze of all assets right now. Then work on the divorce from a solid place without any bs. Once that’s in place she may have to put the money back and then you can work on it. Depending on your finances you should also get a credit card now only in your name. Idk something with zero interest for a while and use that to pay the lawyer or…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 06:52 PM
2

After she kills your kids driving drunk you may think immediate divorce filing was a good idea? I mean it to be mean. Please step up to be the dad your kids need. Take action today.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 07:12 PM
2

There is nothing wrong with you bro. There is also nothing you can do to fix her or make her happy. Her happiness is divorced from you. You are a good person who deserves better. You deserve better. Hear it if you can or soon that you cannot make her happy no matter what. I’m sensing if you look back you’ve tried to make this person happy for years and maybe though if you did xyz better or weren’t a jerk in this way blah blah blah she would be happier. That’s the problem though. The problem isn’…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 11:07 PM
1

Don’t tell her for sure. Tell your lawyer for sure. Also, I bet a million bitcoins your wife already knows and is hoping you do try to keep it hidden. Keep only half it it from her by not lying.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 06:22 PM
2

You affair is irrelevant. Process that in a separate box and with a therapist. Don’t move out no matter what. Proceed writing your own parenting plan and figure out what you want, once those are in place contact a lawyer and get moving for real. Weekend dad?! LOL. Laugh that off. She’s not friendly or your friend anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 06:16 PM
0

This sounds like counseling first. You should go by yourself a few weeks then invite her. If she declines then keep going alone. Proceed from there.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 06:07 PM
1

Stop saying nice things about your wife who obviously wants to take your house and kid. Do not move out. Be nice. Be a great dad and go get a lawyer focused on men’s issues. Tell her nothing about your plans and do not discuss anything beyond basic childcare. If you want to be a great dad then step up and take this pain for now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 06:05 PM
1

You’re not on good terms. You’re about to get killed. Dude real talk you’re about to get f’ed. Move back in YOUR house. If the locks are changed then tell her politely to give you the new key. You need to move back and be a parent too. None of this is optional. No matter how hard it is. Take lots of pics. Document as much as possible until it hurts and feels crazy. Move back today. Heck even break the lease or keep paying. Move back now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 05:51 PM
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