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InspectorSuitable407 Archive

View 0 posts and 192 comments by InspectorSuitable407 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

This happens for sure. But on the other hand there is no right way for a man to do the same. Every way of expressing emotion is wrong because men who do So are considered weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 07:40 PM
1

Why are you making things up?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 08:44 PM
1

Women being hospitalized for supposed hysteria is a relic. Emotional repression being expected of men is only very recently starting to change. So not entirely comparable. Hence why I made the war reference. That’s contemporaneous to what you referenced. “For women there are worse ramifications of showing emotions“ That’s just false. When is the last time the average American saw their mom cry vs their dad. Women are allowed to show emotion at least. Can’t engage in good faith with you it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 04:47 PM
1

Because women never have to lol. They can just resort to shaming with no social consequences. It’s not seen as insensitive to be unattractes to emotion in men. The reverse however is called out for being heartless. It’s a double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 02:01 AM
1

I think maybe a good portion do. And a good portion don’t. My issue is that it’s the expectation that all men act to that standard or else they’re considered less than.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 02:00 AM
1

“Women have been shamed and indeed hospitalised for showing emotions for a long time.“ And men got sent off to die in trenches. But thankfully neither of those things are common in the first world today. What does still happen is men “refusing to deal with emotions” around others because the social ramifications of doing so are simply not worth it. Your lack of empathy for that fact is part of the problem, ironically.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 01:58 AM
2

Society shames them when they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:43 AM
1

No. It’s a two way street. You only get that with connection. Real empathy isn’t performative. Odd you don’t realize that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:38 AM
4

The empathy gap is the worst part of being a man I think. Constantly hearing the problems with toxic masculinity, literally living and dealing with them, then radio silence (or worse) when you live like a healthy human instead of a fucking inanimate rock with a bank account.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:37 AM
1

Same but I think it’s because I know it’s never totally safe to do so. If I were sure someone would not think less of me as a man it would definitely be okay once in a while. No one is invincible, despite what society expects of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:20 AM
1

I mean just from a common cultural ideas perspective, it’s men who are only recently being told (by some people) it’s okay to open up. Don’t get me wrong, women have been dismissed upon other bases, but it’s nowhere near as unacceptable to open up as a woman. No such thing as “woman up”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:18 AM
2

It’s anecdotal but my experience aligns with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 03:16 AM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 10:10 PM
0

How much of this is objective fact and how much is it that women’s attraction is self “reflected” as opposed to how men’s is often projected.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 10:44 PM
7

That’s why I said Some. Needing a virgin is silly I agree. So is needing your partner to have no emotions or needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 10:42 PM
6

“ The only reason it is “less detrimental” for women is because men are thirsty and have low standards.” Partly yes no doubt. But also I think some standards men have are just more fair. Guys don’t think a woman is a loser if she doesn’t have car/money/etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 09:15 PM
26

You’re not allowed to be human if you want to be an attractive man. The expectation of performed masculinity is always there. You drop it they leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 09:12 PM
13

“We had statues of literal naked dudes on public squares for the admiration of people.“ As a bi guy I think we need even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 07:40 PM
1

“Sometimes I get the feeling they don't want to date male humans but a race of genetically modified Supermodels who are perfect in any sense of the word.“ I’ve thought the same thing before. Like if your standard is that they make way more than average income, that they be physically bigger, that they lead the relationship in everything, that the whole dynamic is focused on this person serving and pleasing you-an average normal person - then maybe you’re not into actual human relationships. And …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:02 PM
1

Introversion in women is fetishized. In men it’s seen as gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:54 PM
4

By nature of being a bodybuilder she is definitely not average. So thats a different situation. But it is messed up. I wish gender standards didn’t exist at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 09:12 PM
9

“Why do men seem to need to be found attractive by all women?” A lot of men know that men are more attracted to the average women than vice versa. It’s easier to be self assured I’m your appearance when you can know concretely that many people agree. I’m inclined to think that gets taken for granted. But it’s not going to change and I agree it should not be something to focus on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:05 PM
6

I mean I get where you’re coming from but that ignores the absolute amount of shit you get from people. I think it’s a necessary strategy because there’s really no other option. But it’s ironic that the solution is still to be stoic. Wish it would change sooner lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:02 PM
7

Reread my post
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 02:04 PM
9

I think we agree a lot. And yeah it’s a tough issue to solve. I feel like feminism was able to use their being perceived as victims (femininity) against gender roles ironically. Men don’t get that same sympathy because masculinity is incompatible with victimhood (see male abuse and rape victims). So men don’t have a lot of good will to work with. You may not have seen it as the norm but personally I don’t talk about these things much because despite me agreeing with female empowerment, wanting s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 05:12 AM
10

“Mainly by other men”. Not in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 03:48 AM
28

Women face less social consequences. It’s not all about relationships. A masculine woman is less looked down upon than a feminine man. One is seen as unattractive, the other is seen as a deviant or pervert.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 03:46 AM
12

“I'm still very much expected to pursue an initiate and pay for everything and I'll be the first to say that that's not every girl but most girls still seem to want the guy to treat them for traditional.” It goes even further. You’re still expected to be stoic and silent, not in anyway queer or present any way other than straight. You’re still evaluated based on your wages. This is all stuff I’d expect old white men from the 50s to believe. And yet so many women believe it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 03:43 AM
23

Half agree. Feminism needed men as much as it needed women. With no acceptance from “the other side” in gender affairs, progress is always much slower. I don’t think women should have to be traditionally feminine and feminism agrees. And I have no aspirations to be a traditional man. BUT Feminists still expect and uphold traditional masculinity just like MRAs. Both men and women are responsible for helping men but neither do. Voicing my opinions on my own is normally like shouting into the void.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 03:39 AM
1

Isn’t* it’s a typo. I’m quoting you. “Trafficking stays illegal” So you don’t help the situation at all lol. You just want to draw an arbitrary line that will ultimately lead to more exploitation. The stuff that doesn’t touch trafficking is ALREADY LEGAL. If anything things should be cut back until we’re positive what’s legal is on the level. Since even a lot of legal things involve sketchy practices. There’s more important things than you getting a nut bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 11:15 PM
1

“This didn’t street trafficking” There will STILL be street trafficking, now you just make it easier for traffickers to operate, legally, and in terms of social acceptance. Paying for “consent” from someone who has no means to survive but to do so =x=Selling feet pics from your loft apartment because you got tired of your insurance job. The latter makes up a tiny portion of “sex work”. It’s not hysteria when the former is much larger worldwide. You cannot legalize it away as there will always be…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 12:53 AM
7

The first issue is with calling it all sex work. A good portion (maybe most) prostitutes are less workers more victims, “selling” to get drugs or food. Their life is nothing like some middle class woman who likes attention. Totally different worlds. It serves no use to lump them together. People who are super for sex work don’t realize often that they’re normalizing the rape and abuse that comes with most “sex work” in the world. Not just the lazy rich girls on OF. Doesn’t surprise me though tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 04:29 PM
1

Also possibly how we’re told to rate people’s success. Society sees a man as less sympathetic for being a “loser” than a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 03:40 PM
1

100% just like men give some women big heads because they’ll fuck anything with a pulse. It’s ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 05:37 PM
2

I’ve realized I’ve tried in the past. It’s likely from abuse growing up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 05:36 PM
2

Awww
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 01:35 AM
2

Word things better next time thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 11:02 PM
9

“will acknowledge that finding close and solid male friendships is getting more difficult“ Almost like it’s not self-inflicted...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 10:55 PM
0

Op has a bit of a point though. As a bi man it’s irritating how even “liberal” girls switch up once they learn I’ve been with guys. Many bi men can attest to this, it’s not made up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 04:43 AM
1

“Men and women have their own issues in dating and this is just one that men face that’s based in a pretty gross sexist prejudice. Just like some prejudices women face“ Soooo misogynistic and incel uh huh sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 07:57 PM
1

“I don’t think men are truly expected to be providers anymore considering most households are dual income by necessity. They’re expected to be equal contributors, yes. Maybe by general attitude of “leading the household” but by and large couples need to be dual income” Which is why it’s stupid. Because it is still very prevalent. If you don’t see it, fine. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a thing. “I’ll agree society at large is probably more forgiving of women being broke than men in general, to …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 05:20 AM
4

It is extreme yes. But it’s an extreme example of a common trend that shows how embedded the idea is. Because trust me, this: “it would be different if this were some broke college woman bitching about broke college men“ Is very common. Especially from 20s to mid 30s. Men and women have their own issues in dating and this is just one that men face that’s based in a pretty gross sexist prejudice. Just like some prejudices women face. Edit: I feel like you know full well men are expected to be pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 05:00 AM
5

“You say she posted about it on FB. Was she being validated on FB?” What?? I said nothing about FB. That was Another commenter. And I said it as simple as possible but I’ll say it again: most broke guys “know their place” because society (people, media, etc.) shame them. Women do not get that financial shame nearly as much. That’s the “pass”The fact she saw no issue judging a man on this while seeing no contradiction is BECAUSE she’s been fortunate enough to not be constantly told she’s worthles…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 04:49 AM
9

You asked a question and I answered it. You can’t move the goal posts because it isn’t the answer you want. Society does not shame women about finances the way it does men. This manifests in media and culture. Society gives women a pass where it would humiliate men. The girl being broke herself but still not liking “broke” men is just an example of the effects. Ideally neither men or women’s worth would be dependent upon their money. Edit: basically that lack of self awareness is pretty common b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 04:34 AM
13

Because it’s socially acceptable for her to criticize “broke” men and a lot of people would agree but see nothing wrong or gross about her situation. Broke women aren’t considered pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 04:22 AM
2

We just disagree. As I see it, thinking of dates as An imposition goes hand in hand with the expectation that it’s my “duty” to prove my worth to the person. That’s just old fashioned and only has a place in unbalanced toxic relationships. This is why gender norms are so useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 07:42 PM
2

That’s a terrible comparison. If you see going on a date with me as a favor or work instead of a chance for us to get better acquainted then I’d rather you stay home. I’ll pay if I like you but people who feel entitled to it are not the kind I want to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 04:13 PM
2

Big difference between evolution and social darwinism. One is science and the other is a primitive pseudo-intellectual ideology used to justify genocide and being annoying on the internet. So...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 02:46 AM
3

I’d err on the side of equality rather than catering to weak people’s insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 10:38 PM
3

“Men, because you are the man and a responsibility of your gender is to protect and provide for your partner.“ Caveman mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 10:30 PM
2

“Only on a first date. If he really doesn’t want to pay for a first date then he shouldn’t be asking women out.“ Backwards and old fashioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 10:28 PM
5

Personally I appreciate smart people and find it much more valuable to a relationship than beauty. I think though that too many people value the status of a job as opposed to having interest in a field or intellectual pursuits in general. Two people could have the same career but how they talk about it and how they present themselves changes a lot. Some men dislike smarter women because of sexism. But there are definitely just as many women who recoil at the thought of dating a man with less mon…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:34 PM
9

“Men biologically want to be leaders“ Lmao. Not worth reading at all after that insanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:27 PM
30

Women complain about guys who just want a lay. And that probably gets annoying I can imagine. The flip side is women who just want a guy to treat them, spoil them and dance for them while they have absolutely no interest in him as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 01:02 AM
1

Yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 01:48 AM
1

Social and romantic isolation can be anguishing I think. But I can’t relate to people who are driven just by their primal urges. It’s gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 04:51 AM
8

Honestly the big difference between feminists and conservatives is misogyny. They’re both misandrists.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/22 12:06 AM
2

Agreed. If you expect to be totally passive then naturally you’ll attract people who will care about getting what they want enough to disrespect themselves and do the dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:54 PM
8

Agree. Feminism has some very good ideas that got completely bastardized. Patriarchy now means men are all better off than women, toxic masculinity describes behavior rather than social roles imposed on men, etc. it’s annoying because one side uses the terms wrong and the other won’t even consider anything at all because they’ve been tainted .
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/22 08:42 PM
1

So true! Forbes would never lie about people they disagree with! Always listen to daddy press!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 08:51 PM
2

Lmao a random blog. Like I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 08:22 PM
-1

“Source: the depths of my ass”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 05:59 PM
1

Capitalism, baby!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 05:39 PM
6

Paraphrasing what gandhi (supposedly?) said: I’d be a [feminist] if it weren’t for the [feminists] themselves.”
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/10/22 05:32 PM
1

I’m not sending you my blood tests no matter how much you want creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 04:55 AM
0

Lmao you treat t like it’s a spirit that possesses people. I have high t and believe it or not I’m still a person with my own preferences and 7 days a week for the rest of my life in a ltr with the same person Is overkill. There’s much more to life than animal urges. Pussy isn’t that special.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:18 PM
-1

“They claim to care about emotional connection ... but then they don't try to meet women beyond swiping on an app” There are tons of possible reasons for this yet you go with the most illogical “they’re all just liars”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:23 PM
11

Attacking men’s insecurity is ironically reinforcing toxic masculinity. If a man is insecure about his personality, body, etc. and he’s mocked for that then it essentially says that he’s right to be worried and that furthermore his worrying is also u masculine and worthy of scorn. I get that acting crappy because of insecurity is bad, but then the criticism should he of the actions and not of the insecurity, since insecurity alone is not a sin.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/10/22 01:01 AM
1

“Difference is women aren't typically forceful and completely blind to mens comfort like men are“ Wrong. They are just as clueless but society has convinced them otherwise. They are also less violent and weaker so of course it has lesser consequences. But no doubt they aren’t any less selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 12:35 AM
1

This is a non statement. The disagreements are always about where the line between nature and nurture lies. No one (yes there’s an exception to every rule) argues on the premise that they are changing nature, it’s just that the opposing group categorized it as such because they don’t share that line.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 11:40 PM
1

I think that these are both descriptions of either sexuality at their worst. If we go with that I do believe many men are selfish-in that they want someone/thing for themselves. I do think there is validity to what the other commenter said though: that on the other hand women’s is self centered as opposed to selfish. They want someone to want them. Both are objectifying and I think the connectedness you speak of is not common for either gender, though it is ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 11:35 PM
1

Wait.. so you legitimately don’t see how bootstrap mentality is conservative?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 09:34 PM
2

Irrelevant. You’ve admitted you don’t see society as a factor in human relationships and your response to said issues is to dismiss them and claim the status quo is fine. Yeah that’s a conservative Mentality whether you can admit it to yourself or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 09:10 PM
2

You’re obviously still a conservative by your mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 08:48 PM
2

Such a shallow worldview. Everything is individual. No societal structures or incentives. Yeah no.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 08:47 PM
1

Agreed. There seems to be a lot of women who live off validation. I blame bad parents. Social media feeds off this. No point in trying to change them. It’s just painfully obvious when someone is attention seeking and it’s annoying when people pretend this isn’t a thing that happens. I’ve seen too many women who clearly don’t respect their partner and the guy doesn’t like it but either doesn’t respect himself enough or is too timid to say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 10:10 PM
1

That’s part of it but I think our culture places way too much emphasis on men’s insecurity. (What’s worse is that it’s attacked as a moral failure whereas people have some sympathy for women’s insecurities). The other partner/woman is also responsible for keeping a secure relationship. If she’s overly flirty, constantly attention seeking from strangers or social media, not validating toward her own partner then of course he’s going to worry. Clothes are not always the actual issue. The relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 09:38 PM
5

Disagree. Many women will say that but really men they just don’t want the expectations of women’s gender roles. They still expect men to stay in their place. Not all but quite a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 02:21 AM
1

I’m not acting like that lmao. You keep putting words in my mouth. I simply said men have to do some work compared to women to have an attractive Body. Are you hallucinating? Chill out maybe. You sound crazy rn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 10:07 PM
2

Projection.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 07:36 PM
1

You’re moving the goalposts. The point is that a man’s body is only attractive if it’s somewhat fit requiring some amount of work, whether it’s recreational, professional whatever in addition to just being healthy. A woman living healthy is enough to fit what most would find attractive. I’m not even making any value judgments, it’s just how it is and you’re splitting hairs for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 07:35 PM
1

The people who say corny shit like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:21 PM
5

Labor intensive Remind me what the synonym for labor is?...wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:21 PM
4

Body not face. No man naturally has a nice body. A sedentary woman can naturally have on though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:20 PM
3

This is hilarious. You sound like a Pickup truck bumper sticker
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 04:50 AM
15

I mean. 50 options increases your odds. More options better odds. That’s all. Doesn’t mean it’s sunshine and roses but once again: odds.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 04:36 AM
4

No man is born with a good body. He will have had to work at least some for it. Just saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 04:30 AM
0

I never said it was... if it’s not happening then it by definition isn’t an orbiting situation... why are you so confused by something this simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 02:12 AM
2

A lot of people seem to want the traditional model. Even with feminism, liberal women want traditional men. It’s just wild how people abide by these roles and are shocked when Their relationship ends up unfulfilling and toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 02:10 AM
3

Then you don’t know what they’re talking about. Just existing isn’t a problem. What is an issue is when people know someone else likes them but use that to get favors, emotional validation, money, etc. that’s what makes them an orbiter. A healthy sane person would cut the relationship off. This applies to both. Men can do it too and it’s still wrong it’s just not as common. Neither party is a innocent but they’re both disrespecting either themselves or someone else. It’s not rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 11:29 PM
4

Those men have no self respect and should stop. That said, anyone who takes advantage of someone else’s lack of self respect is also trash. Regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 11:09 PM
5

My gender. Being masculine. (I’d say unmasculine too but that’s not happened) If someone’s attracted to my body and certain things about me then I appreciate that. But when a woman says they like my “masculinity” that normally means they’re projecting expectations on me and not valuing me as a person but a thing to fill a role. Money too. It ties into the same thing. I don’t want to be my partners parent or provider. No thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 08:13 PM
1

I said nothing about your language skills, just your lack of logic. You could make up a pseudoscientific evopsych explanation for literally anything, that doesn’t make it true. Try using research or science next time instead of whatever this bs is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 12:18 AM
5

Male on male crime....sounds like a familiar talking point. And equally as victim blaming and useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 10:26 PM
1

You started with your conclusion and created a rationalization. Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 02:17 AM
1

You aren’t thinking conservative as conservatives believe these categories to be inherent and unmalleable. That’s stupid though and anyone with half a brain would realize where our conception of gender comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 02:14 AM
2

Any claim about “human nature” is itself idealistic and not based on history or environmental conditions. A faulty premise from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 02:12 AM
-1

Relative to before and after. So... it did.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/09/22 01:30 PM
1

The Soviet Union Offered a good life. Why would they want to end that? Russia today not so much. Completely different situation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/09/22 06:58 PM
1

Yes but it’s still offputting to see someone specifically highlight the dehumanizing aspects as a positive lol. Wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 06:37 PM
1

Because people are not objects...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 03:20 PM
5

Glad it works for you but reading that is so uncanny. Like you’re online shopping or something...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 04:54 AM
3

What? I answered OP’s question. That’s the topic of the post... Maybe it’s different for you but personally I don’t see reality as contingent upon my whims. I deal with it. It doesn’t change just because closing my eyes is more convenient. Only an idiot lives in denial.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 07:19 AM
25

“You define your own self worth”. Either you’re playing dumb or you have a lot of privilege to discount the impact of social messaging and upbringing. You take the positive influences in your life for granted. I’m glad you may not have been bombarded with these messages And treatment but you’re the exception not the rule. I didn’t think it needed to be said but “We LiVe In a SoCiEty” and you can’t pretend yourself out of being told all your life you’re worthless unless you do xyz. If you want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 12:27 AM
5

Wrong. Everything he said is expected of you to be considered valuable and worthy of the BARE MINIMUM of validation by society, partners, friends, family. Your privilege is showing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 09:01 PM
57

You aren’t allowed to have inherent value. It’s all measured with respect to other men. Consequently you’re interchangeable. You have to be more than that. Earn more than other men , be more resilient than other men, be more accomplished, etc. or you slip and become the “other men”. you lose the game and stop being a “Man” at all (you’re a loser). It’s a competition you didn’t ask to be born into.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:55 PM
3

Boys who are taught it’s okay to be gentle and go slow are unfortunately chewed up by society and undesirable to a large swathe of women. Until the environment and incentives change, it doesn’t pay to be good. Should you be toxic? No. But it’s definitely complicated and men alone can’t be expected to boot strap out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:51 PM
2

Real communication is mutual. Expecting everything to be done by assumptions and hints will put the other person in a position where they sometimes have to risk crossing certain boundaries. People who respect you aren’t going to be eager to potentially cross your boundaries....
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:23 PM
1

Just know those kinds have issues. So not worth your time in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:53 PM
1

To say that men are discouraged by society from expressing emotion (women are part of society last I checked) is not saying “they’re evil witches”. That’s a cheap deflection and dismissive of something many men face. Especially as a response to what he wrote. You’re part of the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 01:00 AM
1

True. Women are constantly validated by society while men are expected to “be something” while also disallowed form being open about those struggles. Of course women are naturally going to feel more assured and at ease.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 12:55 AM
0

Popular? It has nothing to do with popularity. Opinion Or individual wants doesn’t trump the reality of our global economic situation under neoliberalism. Not even close. The powerlessness is why most are in denial about it and why my comment is still true for the general populations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 11:47 PM
1

Care to show? Because it’s pretty common knowledge women generally prefer a man to make more.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 11:42 PM
4

Well they all turned out to have serious issues so it didn’t work out. If anything knowing they’re out there has just made it worse knowing it’s so uncommon lol. I didn’t even care about the sex as much as I appreciated that they cared to make me feel desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:34 PM
1

“Men also need to start accepting women who make more than them“ Rarely an issue in comparison the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:23 PM
1

Anecdotally I’ve encountered this more than once. Women who still expect men to have the breadwinner career ambitions regardless of their stance on kids. It’s not surprising given what qualifies for attractive in men still includes antiquated borderline sexist standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:22 PM
1

Westerners will never admit this because it goes against their very modern idea of “traditional” as well as the “counter cultural” hyper individualist liberal thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:12 PM
3

Perhaps in general but I have dated some women whose sexuality toward me was almost like a gay man’s. Maybe rare but it’s pretty great.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:05 PM
3

No one but a fringe few is advocating for “access” against their will. So bit of a strawman. I only responded to you as you were doing the typical dismissals of men’s issues that so many people employ. And yes men are limited by patriarchy. Unlike women, men are never allowed to exist outside their assigned role. Otherwise they are shunned by society. Capitalism and patriarchy enforce these things. Blaming the individual is pointless. Dating is just a microcosm of this. Where women are empowered…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:07 AM
1

Reread. It’s an analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 10:24 PM
4

I agree and do my best to help who I can. That’s entirely different from the first part of your original comment though. You’re missing the point. What you said is the equivalent to when white people tell us crime and gang issues are our fault and we should fix them. It’s simplistic and almost cruel in its ignorance of systemic barriers. Literally “personal responsibility” right wing crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 08:31 PM
2

Can confirm. My nature is to be very attentive and open. Women love it...until it’s not focused on their issues. Then I’m not man enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 08:05 PM
2

Why do you need another adult to lead you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:58 PM
2

It was originally used to refer to the display of emotions workers are forced to fake to please bosses and customers. It’s hilarious that feminists adopted it, essentially classifying interpersonal relationships as business transactions. How liberating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:57 PM
8

Lmao. And I bet minorities should pull themselves up by their boot straps too? What’s with westerners and their inability to think systemically. Everything is about moral condemnation to you people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:58 PM
1

Not worth reading all of that. But I do see you claiming I want someone who gets hints too lol. No. My best relationships With women have been with ones who are mature and understand communication. I also never had to remind them not to leave around dirty socks Lmao. Seems like a you problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 12:45 AM
1

Agreed. But no mature adult gives “hints” instead of communicating. So really they deserve each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:08 PM
1

Maybe you end up with oversized children who leave their dirty socks everywhere because you also refuse to grow up. Adults don’t “hint” when there’s an issue like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:03 PM
7

Cant argue with irrational bigotry. However I’m praying you heal from your pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:43 PM
-1

Not expecting you to lol. My point is we’re in the tiny minority politically. A lot of men are told by a lot of “feminists” that they’re to blame for their own misfortune. And it’s fair to critique the larger strain of feminism for that rhetoric. I feel no need to speak over that experience because I know that despite labels most Americans are incredibly reactionary. So it’s absurd for you to jump to their defense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:31 PM
2

I’ve found many American radfems to be Just liberal feminists but transphobic. Feminists who actually push for men’s liberation and are actually radical as opposed to the typical “f you I’m for mine” girlboss stuff Are an astounding minority here. Just like actual socialists. Both those labels have been tainted by this fact. So when people speak to feminists downplaying men’s issues, they’re not wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:14 PM
6

I mean I don’t see why it’s so hard to believe considering how women find less men attractive than vice versa (pretty well established with data). Naturally you’re going to get more women ending in that situation. Why is that? Could be Desexualization of men by traditional gender roles, could be a ton of things. But it’s still real.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:09 PM
1

I agree that capitalism is to blame, but you ignore the fact that the feminist movement that exists today does not really challenge capital. Liberal feminists are quick to blame men for their own suffering with “well men caused it”. Which individualizes the problem and helps no one.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:01 PM
6

I don’t buy into the rp versions of the concept but to say people won’t stay with someone they aren’t attracted to is absurd. And the facts show women rate men lower so it’s just more likely to happen with them. I’ve been in both types of relationships and it clearly wasn’t a libido thing. I just didn’t fully realize that my last partner wasn’t attracted to me. Being with my new partner who did actually find me attractive is what made me realize
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 05:55 PM
2

Lol top bait. Pretty good not gonna lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 03:26 PM
5

Personally for me it’s not about getting laid but protecting myself. Even with solid boundaries trying to be a good partner has just led to people trying to use me. Not everyone is like that but trust me I’d love to have genuine connection if O could find the opportunity. Being closed off is too tiring anymore though it’s hardly worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 10:53 PM
1

Maybe not. But they’re still pretty bad. Almost every man I’ve known closely has had some similar experience or at least knows someone who has. Women in general want a toxic level of stoicism.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 06:40 PM
1

And thereby eliminate +80% of their options
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 12:52 AM
2

Op claimed women contribute to it too. And they likely did so because this is barely acknowledged Or immediately discounted despite being a big part too. Every one knows men contribute to it lol. That’s been the dominant discourse on the subject since always. That’s not the question. Reaffirming it to me is preaching to the choir. The whole point of my response was to talk about things which are brushed under the rug and your response is consistently focusing on the aspects which are thoroughly …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 10:47 PM
3

I mean obviously. Gender structures outside the first world are radically different. I assumed it was a given. I’m not speaking to that context. Culture is informed by material conditions and it makes sense for poor women to seek out providers in unstable environments, likewise for men to want child oriented women to raise kids for extra hands on the farm. But again, I wasn’t speaking to that. America and Europe (most of reddit) specifically have conditions that don’t require that yet men are st…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 10:02 PM
4

I don’t disagree. But my point was more so assuming even “positive” Manifestations of those standards. The standards are still inherently negative in that they are limiting. Take the expectation of stoicism. A lot of men are genuinely fine with dealing with their emotions on their own WITHOUT any toxic consequences. Yet that’s still a toxic standard to expect of men. Why? Because they’re human, and just as many DO NOT want to be the stoic rock. Yet that’s what’s deemed attractive by in large. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 09:34 PM
4

I think you’re strongly underestimating how standards for men overlaps with behavior that’s also recognized as toxic. -men expected to take the lead/be dominant. men are expected to be providers. men are expected to be physically strong and visibly so. men are expected to be the emotional rock. Etc. These are all traits that are limiting for men and also uphold toxic masculinity, yet these are the things women say (AND show) they want in men. I don’t think women are evil but I do think this resu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 09:10 PM
0

Reread your first comment comment slowly and think real hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 06:06 AM
1

I completely agree. The issue is Marxism isn’t very big in the west, and like you said even Marxist women are still liberal feminists. They don’t apply Marxist analysis to patriarchy or sexism. They can fully understand how poverty is systemic but will look a man in the eye and tell him it’s his fault that society expects him to fill a certain role.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/09/22 11:22 PM
6

I think there’s more nuance to this. Being emotionally available in dating can get you take advantage of. True emotional availability is very attractive to users.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:08 PM
3

I don’t think it’s a a problem of moderation. Consumerism with a capital C is like you said earlier an ideology pushed by capitalism. Technological advancement and human consumption are themselves neutral whereas Consumerism seeks to structure life around commodities. Moderation is incompatible with it. It might sound like a semantic thing but the root is important as I see it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/09/22 09:57 PM
2

When I meet people who have poor boundaries I don’t take it as an invitation to string them along or use them. That’s called being a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:26 PM
8

Their need for external validation is ironically often why they can’t maintain a healthy relationship. And also no one really believes the posting for yourself stuff. Bad b**** “confidence” reeks of insecurity and is a huge red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:29 PM
7

I have no clue where you got that from....
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 02:50 PM
2

Honestly don’t know if you’re being sarcastic. But if you aren’t I’m saying that not every guy is just out for easy sex. Guys aren’t animals. Op is somehow victim blaming people who were manipulated and made into a joke. Honestly though I don’t think them wanting sex or a date makes them at fault either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 02:21 AM
2

Yes every man only wants sex exclusively lol. No such thing as going on a date?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 02:14 AM
1

The woman in question was average...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:53 PM
41

Because if you complain you are weak and therefore not a man. Feminists and tradcons alike still judge men by archaic and sexist standards. But it’s not gonna change. Women’s lib worked because even under a misogynist framework, they have value. So they could work off this and overcome some sexism. Under a misandrist traditionalist framework, Though, men are disposable and value is contingent.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:42 PM
3

I’m in that hell right now and doing my best to get out. Even as an introvert I need some. One of the most annoying things though is how throughout this whole process you have to somewhat pretend you don’t care. If people sense even a bit too much enthusiasm It’s deemed desperate. You have to “do the work” but part of the work is just stepping back and waiting for luck after engaging. Almost like you have to wait for them to think they’re making the move, instead of asking them directly- which i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:32 PM
10

You’re not wrong but it’s funny how despite the social advances made for women, advice for men is still just “Man up”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:00 PM
4

Definitely agree. Though adults aren’t always interested in expanding their group or community. Nowadays especially. It can be exhausting putting in your side of the work and not getting much of a response, over and over. Starting from zero makes it harder too, as people want to be friends with people who have friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 06:54 PM
19

Neurodivergent men are very often labeled creepy for their “off” demeanor without ever crossing any boundaries. But they’re pretty low on the social order so of course that means nothing /s.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:06 PM
5

It’s really simple. Feminism was about (Mostly white) women’s liberation from patriarchal gender roles. To actually liberate men and truly end toxic masculinity there’d need to be a movement for ending gendered expectations for men. But such a movement doesn’t exist. All we do have is two conservative groups: one trying and failing to drive both men and women back into those roles, and the other group continuing to free women- which also involves telling men to change some behavior, (but only fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:01 PM
2

You’re hilarious. Simultaneously deny that it happens while literally contributing to the stigma that keeps victims quiet in the SAME PARAGRAPH! Wish you were self aware enough to see the irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 02:14 AM
1

Hey that’s literally me! :D
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 02:11 AM
2

Nail biting is a very easy way to get infections (through the fingers or through your mouth). So hopefully you take the precautions necessary. I say this without judgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 10:50 PM
2

An ex once told me that she likes attention from other men, that all girls do. This after I finally confronted her over some stuff that I had tried hard to convince myself was my imagination. I didn’t want to be the “controlling” guy. Even now I respect my gf/bf’s boundaries in all my relationships and do my best to put trust first, but I’d be lying if her words don’t still make me think twice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:58 PM
1

“Ideology rather than fact” Everything is ideology. You cannot exist outside of an ideology.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/22 02:24 AM
2

I think that a big part of the issue is that left in the west has come to mean liberal. There’s an individualist strain to said liberalism that differs from the almost gender neutral mass moviements of past socialisms. A lot of the “its men’s issues so they should fix it” comes from this hyper individualism. Ironically it’s a complete misunderstanding of how patriarchy or capitalism works. I don’t see how you can claim to be progressive or left and still think a man should take care of you, or m…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/22 01:26 AM
2

It’s a big game of chicken. You can’t drop your mask easily around other men because we don’t have people to support us when we’re derided for being unmanly: it’s a big risk. So You have to be distant and a lot of men are quick to push others back into place to reassert their distance from “weakness”. Both men and women still largely hold men to toxic masculine standards, so there’s really no space to drop it without losing the game. Masculinity I think as a construct is incompatible with solida…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/22 01:15 AM
1

The validity of aiming for gender neutrality in Romance languages is a whole conversation to itself. But if you’re wondering, “Latine” Is what lgbtq people use. While not super common, it was actually created and is used by Latin Americans/Spaniards. Unlike latinx
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/22 10:52 PM
2

This is the right answer and as such very uncommon to see in gender conversations. The dominant voices seem to both be against liberation: conservatives v. “Progressives” (mostly conservative ideology with some small adjustments) are
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/22 10:28 PM
1

The expectation of a lot of women that I fit that persona or follow that script is why I’m burnt out on dating. To say that a lot of women don’t like a certain set of things is unrealistic. It wouldn’t be impossible for me to be that but I like who I am and don’t see the point in faking. A lot of guys just want to get laid and don’t want a relationship so they try (and sometimes fail) to mimic it. I don’t doubt it works both ways. But you’re probably just not as “basic” a person as most.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 09:35 PM
0

That is so absurd I’m at a loss for words lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 11:15 PM
3

I don’t think it goes one way necessarily. I’ve felt similarly about women. Probably due to the drastically different socializiation imposed on each group. Even if you overcome yours, you can never get someone else to look past their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:12 PM
1

As historical social outcasts, they are less constrained by And indoctrinated into traditional gender roles. Simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:09 PM
1

True. But anecdotally it seems to be far more common against men as femme presenting bi women are not seen as more masculine for their “lesbian side”. Whereas no matter how masculine a man is he is often seen as less manly for his gayness. Especially if he is a “bottom”.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 08:34 PM
6

Yes. Gay dating can be rough in it’s own way, and some gays do still adopt patriarchal/hetero gender roles. but it’s not as insanely difficult to find a guy who doesn’t expect me to be a 24/7 6’10” alpha stud ATM with no emotional needs or “feminine” interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 08:33 PM
10

This is because you’re gay, not bisexual. Dating women as a bisexual man pretty quickly proves women are not more open minded- or honestly just as a man who doesn’t embrace traditional masculinity. You realize women still have very backwards views of what a man should be. Though I don’t believe either men or women are more open than each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 07:23 PM
4

You wouldn’t accept your partner crying?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:45 PM
1

It is. It’s just called patriarchy because those gender roles were established through patrilineal inheritance and segregation of labor between men and women for obvious biological reasons. That’s just a fact. It’s clearly changed a lot since but we have vestiges of those gender roles. They came about for a reason and so those reasons must be understood for them to be erased. And hypothetically there could be A matriarchal society like you describe, they do exist in some places actually there ju…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 09:15 PM
-1

“Marxists are liberals” “neo Marxism”. No. you’re Just spouting Peterson rhetoric? Literally Engels- “Monogamous marriage comes on the scene as the subjugation of the one sex by the other, as the proclamation of a conflict between the sexes unknown throughout the whole previous historic period. In an old unpublished manuscript written by Marx and myself in 1846 I find the words: The first division of labour is that between man and woman for the propagation of children And today I can add: The fi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 08:59 PM
1

Yes that’s literally where it comes from. Men worked and women stayed home and had and raised kids.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 08:54 PM
6

The poor already do live in bad circumstances. You just don’t care until it affects your bigmac lmao. Burgers are funny people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:44 PM
-3

It’s not a trend. It’s literally the original use. And it’s important to actually understand it rather than just vaguely be against discrimination without knowing the underlying causes of our problems. Just because it’s been co opted doesn’t erase reality. Liberals do this all the time with language and nothing is gained by conceding to them. They even defined themselves as left wing in America thus moving the window of discussion further right. Ultimately it seems like no one really gets what t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 03:51 PM
5

Don’t take them at their word. Trust people as best you can in individual cases. As it stands, men are still not allowed to open up. It’s just PR.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 03:48 PM
-7

It’s well defined just horribly misused and now the whole gender discussion is more toxic for it. Blame liberal feminism. I would just expect a left wing sub to actually be educated on the Left wing understanding, NOT the liberal one.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 03:44 PM
-4

I don’t blame it on men running society lmao. Just because westerners use it wrong doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I swear it’s like talking to a wall. Male advocates AND feminists need to open a book, read Engels. This is a long historical process and a system. It has NOTHING to do with individual men. No one on either side seems to get that. So no I’m. not pointing fingers at men. Just like saying white supremacy is a problem doesn’t indict all white people.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 03:40 PM
1

It’s a complicated topic but as I see it patriarchy is a structure built around ensuring that there are enough fresh bodies made to provide labor to the top. This involves ownership of women’s reproductive capacity by men, and all the gender roles associated with it. Social expectations of men’s responsibilities, shaming sexual openness, homophobia, misogyny, misandry etc. are all part of that system that keeps people in line and ensures they do what capital wants. It really only benefits those …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 03:35 PM
-10

There is tru Th to that though. Patriarchy does harm men, as it is the primary mechanism enforcing gender roles and conformity. The problem is that a lot of liberal feminists don’t really know what patriarchy means or how it works. It’s completely misused and has been framed as “men always have it better than women” which is not intersectional and also bordering on racist in a way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 12:32 PM
3

I need someone like that in my life. As it stands I’m the guy who gets out by always on my own. It’s not hard to talk to strangers but those sorts of interactions are never conducive to actual friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:41 PM
23

Damn couldn’t agree more. Mostly I think it has to do with the fact that a lot of people who call themselves left are really just liberals. Additionally, they have a lot of conservative views. I’ve met so many feminists who supposedly support lgbtq people but would never date a bi guy or are appalled when they find out a crush is bi. It’s Disgusting behavior honestly. While dating guys can be lame in its own ways, there’s more possibilities for expression. Both traditional/conservative and non t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 07:33 PM
1

Both are reactionary movements, one was just more successful because it coopted actual revolutionary language and changed it to fit a self serving but still conservative ideology. This kind of feminism is about getting a seat at the table, not about women’s (or men’s) liberation and changing the base of the system. This is a western/capitalist issue mostly. Other places have better understanding of the mechanisms of gender oppression but they’re also way more fucked and deal with worse issues th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:39 PM
1

Because in the first world feminists think patriarchy=all men, despite the fact roe v wade was overturned by actual patriarchs unaccountable to the average person or man. The whole movement is less about actually getting rid of patriarchy and gender roles and instead about having a seat at the table- which fundamentally changes little and doesn’t challenge the status quo.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:32 PM
1

While I don’t think what he wants is wrong per se, you make a good point that this might just be fetishizing and redirecting his desire for a post gender role relationship. Because in our world few people seem to be able to think outside of those parameters. If you aren’t masculine you have to be feminine or vice versa. It’s so limiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 04:28 PM
2

This is a common fallacy. The idea that patriarchy=men. Really both men and women uphold the gender roles that limit and restrict each other. Roles that were cemented by a bunch of (long dead) white rich men. At a certain point blaming men for not opening up is victim blaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 03:16 PM
3

I agree with a lot of what you said. I’ve tried to make some of those things principles in my life. Individualism and narcissism are rampant among all people. Sadly, a lot of people take advantage of selflessness (perceived as a weakness to exploit), so then you almost feel forced to fall in line or just quit playing. Alienation and solipsism Can ironically only be resolved in a mass shift. Trying to better myself can be morally fulfilling but doesn’t change much except opening the door to a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 02:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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