~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | School MeetingHell yeah. "I thnk the kid having more time with me would improve their behavior. Clearly the mother as primary parent isn't working very well here." | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 07:04 AM |
| 3 | Getting a divorce at 70 years old - any advice?Don't beat yourself up too much about the accounts & house, the names on the accounts and deeds are basically meaningless in a long-term marriage. Those accounts are joint marital and the house is as well assuming you were paying a mortgage on it for much of those 30 years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 05:46 AM |
| 11 | Stay single for kidsIt's basically what I've done in the 5 years post-divorce for my kids. I've dated here and there but the kids have never met any of them and I'd never move one in. I'll see them sometimes in the 50% of the time I don't have the kids but if I'm needed for activities etc in my non-custody times they have to understand my kids will come first and if not they can head on down the road. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 06:53 PM |
| 2 | How close to live, what custody to go forYour son's not always going to be 8. It gets easier, at least from a need-for-constant-assistance standpoint. Don't make long-term custody decisions based only on the current circumstances, take a longer view. Were it me, I'd live as close as possible and not settle for anything less than 50/50 parenting time. I'd also have fought the move-away. If you can prove your child has significant ties to the current area (schools, sports, family, extracurriculars etc) you might be able to keep him there… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 05:06 PM |
| 0 | DisrespectLawyers advise you to move out because it results in everything getting dragged out ergo more billable hours for THEM. Staying in the home gives her incentive to reach a reasonable settlement quicker because she still has to deal with you, and can't be bringing home her next victim yet. And grow a thicker skin. You're going to need it in divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 06:02 AM |
| 7 | Question for man that asked for the divorce and have kid/s with their wife?I didn't "ask" for divorce as I didn't need her permission. I just filed for it and handed her a copy of the petition. I handled it fine because my whole goal was to give my children a calm, loving, tidy home half the time when I have them instead of them being forced to live with a chaotic, overly emotional, yelling mother 100% of the time. I couldn't/can't control her actions, but I can control mine, and having the children experience a better situation even half the time is far better for the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 05:48 AM |
| 3 | OpinionsAgreed, plus presumably you will get to still parent your son everyday for those 3 years instead of only half the time if she's living elsewhere. That's a huge positive IMO. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 05:27 AM |
| 4 | What were the ethnicity/race of your ex-wives?I had three of them. All just regular ol' white American women. All raised in church "good girls", successful and college educated. Two turned into cheating whores and left and the last was just so horrible of a person and wife that I divorced her without her cheating (to my knowledge). | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/24 04:14 AM |
| 2 | Cheating - ConfirmedYou beat me to this and stated it well. Only what you can give them in the future matters, the past is irrelevant. The very second she can get a better deal elsewhere, she gone. Modern woman 101. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/24 04:04 AM |
| 5 | Is pension splitting, as part of a divorce settlement, considered normal, or 'below the belt'?There's no right or wrong in it, it just "is". She's no longer your wife - she's your opponent in the most important lawsuit you'll ever be in - and that money will let you retire someday probably years earlier than if you don't get it. Take it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 05:11 AM |
| 10 | Is pension splitting, as part of a divorce settlement, considered normal, or 'below the belt'?Yep. Her retirement savings are half yours, no question. My ex certainly went after every dime of mine that she could. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 04:44 AM |
| 1 | Nys rules and men - divorceAre all the kids old enough to be in school? If so you should strongly consider taking austerity measures to get her working again before filing for divorce. That will likely help your custody, child support, and alimony outcomes immensely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 04:36 AM |
| 2 | What was the event that led to your divorce? Was it preventative?It's a woman giving you that advice, so you can be sure she thinks that there's something wrong with you and not with the system since she benefits from it. In their eyes there's nothing that's unfair to divorced men because we obviously had it coming... | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 04:37 PM |
| 0 | What was the event that led to your divorce? Was it preventative?LOL beat me to it. I can say with certainty that getting married was the event that led to my divorces and probably everyone else's too! | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 04:32 PM |
| 2 | 36M, how is datingSounds like he only wants to take them far enough to get in their pants a few times, which is all many of them are good for. Don't see anything wrong with that. We don't owe women a relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 02:14 PM |
| 1 | I need suggestions on how to move on—both in terms of parenting time and finances!That's just not true, at all. A quick google showed that while 50/50 parenting time is not the default judgement it is often awarded if the parties demontstrate that it is in the best interests of the child. And that is what you will have to do, demonstrate that the child should have equal time with both parents. More tactically though, you should tell your STBX that you're going for primary custody and put some fear in her then settle for 50/50 in mediation. Texas is not a default 50/50 state a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:20 AM |
| 1 | 36M, how is datingSounds good except the caring part. They certainly won't really care about you, except insomuch as what you provide them. DGAF has been a requirement in all my post-divorce relationships. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:09 AM |
| 1 | 36M, how is datingSo much this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:05 AM |
| 1 | I need suggestions on how to move on—both in terms of parenting time and finances!Forgot to add - your friend is one "I'm not haapppy" from his wife away from being financially destitute, only seeing his kids every other weekend, and subjected to indentured servitude via mommy support and alimony. More than once I've had male friends tell me I'm too jaded about marriage and women and need to "get back on that horse" only to come back a couple years later and ask me for the contact info of my divorce attorney. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 03:38 PM |
| 6 | I need suggestions on how to move on—both in terms of parenting time and finances!Your friend's advice sucks. Go for 50/50 parenting time. Put that "start a new family" bit out of your mind as you can already see that marriage is a terrible deal for the man these days and it's even worse trying that blended family nonsense. I've had 50/50 with 2 kids for 5 years now and manage it fine with a full-time professional career. It's actually a near-ideal existence - all-in 100% dad for half the time with no criticism/interference from the ex ruining our time together, then the othe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 02:37 PM |
| 21 | After mediation in WA (no-fault state): 56% and $3,700 per month to herThe only winning move is not to play... | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 03:33 PM |
| 5 | I feel trapped after the divorce. hear me about!Sounds like a horrible idea to me. After fighting so hard to get 50/50 just to give it up willingly just so I can date some broads who are probably as bad or worse than my ex, work more time at a job I don't really like anyway, or spend more time with buddies that I should have plenty of time to hang with on the 50% of time that I don't have the kids? That's a nope from me dawg. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 03:22 AM |
| 7 | Obsessed with lowering child supportHe has the child almost half the time. $24k was stretching it massively, $40k (prorated for the time he has the child and gets nothing from his ex) is way over the top. Mommy support amounts are ridiculous. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 03:10 AM |
| 2 | What should I do before filing divorce paperwork?You should consider moving back into your home if you've moved out. She will have no incentive whatsoever to reach a fast and reasonable settlement if you're out of the house. After all, she's got the house, she's got you paying all the bills in it, and you're not there preventing her from bringing dudes in to find her next victim. Why would she want to end that? She needs to experience the unpleasantness of being forced to continue to live with someone who is divorcing her and THEN she'll want … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 07:49 PM |
| 3 | Paternity TestDo you or do you not have a signed custody order? If you do, pick them up on the days specified in your custody order. No judge will ever fault you for that. Attorneys will always take the risk avoidant approach to drag the divorce out as long as humanly possible and thus bill as many hours as possible. They don't care if you see your children, they only care if they get their new BMW paid for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 03:41 AM |
| 2 | Looking into calling it quitsOP, you know we're getting close to the mark when the women come out of the woodwork on a MEN's forum (right there in the title) and bring out their made-up terms like "financial abuse" to try and keep you from taking charge of where your paycheck goes. In the few states where "financial abuse" is in the statute it always requires that actions are done for the purpose of coercion (provable in a court of law), and that is not what we are doing here. OP, we're boiling a frog here. We don't come ou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 03:35 AM |
| 5 | Paternity TestOK sounds like you have bigger fish to fry right now than worrying about paternity. You need to get access to your children RIGHT NOW. The longer this goes on, the worse it will get for you. Assuming you have a custody order and assuming at least one of your children is in school, you should be able to pick up your child from school. Take your custody order to the school office and pick up your child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 03:20 AM |
| 8 | Paternity TestYou don't have to request one officially with the courts or anything. Before you bother with all of that you can just get one of the at-home kits from the drugstore or Amazon or wherever (Identigene is the one I used, there are others as well) and swab the kid's cheek and yours at home, send it off and get results pretty quick. You don't need your wife's consent or anything, she really doesn't even need to know. If it does come back that he's not yours, you would then have to choose whether to p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 09:44 PM |
| 9 | Looking into calling it quitsYour best bet is to get her working again before filing for divorce. Put in place austerity measures - direct your paycheck to a new account only you have access to. Close any joint credit cards that she has access to. Cancel all streaming services that are entertaining her during the day while she's doing nothing and you're working. Consider cancelling internet access even. You do all of the grocery shopping yourself going forward and only get things that you and your child like, not STBX. Give… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 02:58 PM |
| 2 | Not sure where to move during divorceDon't move out of the marital home without a custody order signed by a judge. Don't move away from your kid period if you want to be an involved father. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 02:48 PM |
| 2 | Today's updateThat's not what the world tells women who are divorcing. They're told to go after every dime they can get in alimony and assets... ie. what they're "entitled" to. I say he should go for everything, the only way the laws ever change to more reasonable support numbers are if women regularly have to start paying. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 02:07 PM |
| 2 | Should I go for full custody?Depends on what you mean by "full custody". You won't be able to have 100% of the parenting time with her having 0% unless she does something criminally negligent to the children. But based on your post you could definitely go for primary custody with the ex getting something like every other weekend. Be careful though, if there's no existing custody order your STBX will be well within her rights to pick up the children and not return them meaning you won't see them at all until you're able to g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Trial is to start soonYou're dealing with the unfortunate "family" court double standard where the mother can get away with anything short of a DUI with the kids in the car and still keep 50%+ parenting time while the father has to be a 90% parent pre-divorce (like I was) just to get 50% parenting time. In this case your ex moved to another country away from her kids for 4 months and all she had to do was show back up and the GAL gives her 50%. If that were a father moving away, that same GAL would have cited abandon… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 04:25 AM |
| 1 | How longTo be fair I did put a "J/K, kinda" in there. We're dudes here and can give each other a little good-natured ribbing without getting butthurt. But really what I was going for wasn't to tell him he was a giant P but for him to see that getting past it was going to involve toughening up a bit and changing his outlook on relationships. You provide a lot of good insight here and I'm glad we agree on the substance of the rest. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 03:33 AM |
| 5 | How do i navigate through this life dilemma?She doesn't have any assets to bring to the marriage. He says it in the post if you'd cared to read. He's the only one with anything to lose here. Not everything is about you, ma'am. Since they have the same salary and he has $500k in assets and she has nothing, you can be pretty sure that he's a saver and she's a spender. He'll be the one building assets and she'll be blowing money left and right (like women in most marriages), but when it comes time for divorce she's going to get half of every… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 05:21 PM |
| 5 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?My ex threatened divorce monthly (at least) for the last 4 years of our marriage, basically anytime she didn't get her way throwing a fit like a toddler. Meanwhile I never once said the "D" word and just gray rocked my way along. Should have seen her Surprised Pikachu face when I handed her a copy of the divorce petition that my attorney had filed the day before. She asked me "Is this a joke?" - and I assured her it was not. So I guess you could say I was "warned", but I didn't warn her whatsoev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 06:42 AM |
| 5 | How do i navigate through this life dilemma?Wonderful, loving, and supportive... until it comes time for you to protect yourself from getting divorce graped out of the gains on your premarital assets. Then it's a no go. Is that really wonderful, loving, and supportive? And "pushing for marriage"? Yeah there's a reason for that. Modern marriage is a financial guarantee to the woman. Since she knows she's in it with you forever, why does she need a government contract to enforce it? A "good woman" shouldn't need it. And wealthy families are… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 06:24 AM |
| 4 | Anyone have a success Story of a Second Marriage?Marriage as it exists today is a horrible deal for the man. It's bad enough with no children (as you're seeing now) but add a child custody battle to the divorce and it's about 100x worse. Be a couple, love one another long term, whatever - but do not sign that contract with the State again. If she really loves you, she doesn't need a government contract to enforce it, right? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 04:16 AM |
| 3 | Withholding non biological daughterSeason 12 Episode 8 on "Why You Don't Wife Up Single Mothers", coming up next! Without having adopted the kid you have no legal rights whatsoever and you never will going forward either. She probably wants to string you along in hopes that you'll provide some financial support without really letting you have a real relationship with the daughter. Unfortunately, cutting ties completely is really your only path forward here. She's only ever seen you as an ATM to provide resources to her and her da… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 04:07 AM |
| 1 | STBX wife w/ bipolar disorderNice work on protecting yourself there and making princess put her big girl pants on. Sounds like you've pretty much got it under control. Onward and upward! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 05:10 AM |
| 12 | "Happier After Divorce"Happiness is something women chase. It's a fleeting feeling and should not be your end goal. Contentment is what you are seeking. Some of the source of contentment will be acceptance of your current situation as it is and some will be things improving to the point that you can see you're making forward progress toward your goals. Hang in there, contentment awaits. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:42 PM |
| 15 | LonelinessWinning. I have grown to really enjoy eating alone at restaurants on the half time I don't have my kids. I head straight for the bar and order dinner there, usually can watch some sports while I eat and almost always strike up a conversation with people nearby that is more interesting than anything my ex ever said to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:39 PM |
| 12 | How longIt lasts until you stop being a giant pussy. J/K bro, kinda. But you do sound kinda co-dependent to me. Women do not respect and value a man that makes her the center of his universe. You treat her like a celebrity, she's going to treat you like a fan. They value and respect a man who's out to conquer the world (whatever that means to him) and taking her along for the ride. You've got to find your purpose completely outside of the sphere of women and relationships first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:00 PM |
| 2 | STBX wife w/ bipolar disorderFirm in tone and blunt is not "verbally abusive". The victim play is standard female playbook in divorce. Just stay as far away from her as possible, completely remove any ability she might have to hurt you financially or otherwise, and get the divorce wrapped up as quickly as you can. You dodged a bullet getting away from her after such a short time, many of us here endured diagnosed and undiagnosed mentally ill partners for decades and it really doesn't get better the longer you stay. Once the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:44 PM |
| 23 | She said, "You could just pick up the dog poop without me asking. You see it just like I do."Modern women's entitlement knows almost no bounds. Since the state decides that a giant chunk of your future income is hers in mommy support, she probably just sees your time and labor as just another thing that she's entitled to in perpetuity. My ex had a sprinkler pipe shooting a geyser at her house recently, and I told her if she dug up the spot I could look at it and tell her what she needed to fix it. This broad goes and gets a shovel from the garage and hands it to me. I'm like "What the F… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:01 PM |
| 2 | How to stop kicking the can down the road and instead actually face reality?Almost all of them try to turn the kids against you to a lesser or greater extent. The key is to have at least equal parenting time so you can show them by your day to day example that you aren't the monster she's painted you to be. Can't really provide much advice to you on timing. I can say that I waited 4 long years from the time I knew I would be divorcing her until actually filing, once I felt they were old enough to handle time away from each of us and were grounded enough in the community… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:34 AM |
| 4 | It's officialYou have one comment on this sub and it's basically "What did you do to make your ex-wife like this?". The entire rest of reddit exists for women to tell men how awful they are, you might want to go there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:11 AM |
| 5 | It's officialOh yay yet another woman in the Divorce_MEN sub making sure we all know we're at fault for our ex-wives being horrible people.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:02 AM |
| 3 | Arbitrary custody decisions by stbxw - how to respond?She is not the parenting decider. The family court system is. With no custody order in place, you can keep them 100% of the time if you want. Pick them up from school when you want and keep them. You need to establish right now the fact that you won't be bullied out of your parenting time. If you think she's going to try and prevent you picking them up, just go up to school 20-30 minutes early and sign them out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:40 AM |
| 7 | Do you tell her before you retain a lawyer?Nope. The first time she hears the "D" word from you should be when she's handed the divorce petition that your attorney filed at the courthouse the day before. It will tell her all she needs to know. Was she worried about "respecting" you when she was being an awful wife all these years? There are a lot of pre-divorce shenanigans like asset dissipation, false domestic violence accusations, hiding money, running off with the kids etc that can be preempted by filing for divorce without warning he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:34 AM |
| 3 | Is it time to file for divorce?Season 11 Episode 26 of "Why You Don't Wife Up Single Mothers". They know from firsthand experience just how much they can get away with in modern marriage, especially once they have a child with you and have that 18 year mommy support annuity locked in. Wait until your son is in kindergarten at least, then you need to put in place austerity measures to get her working. At that time, remove all of her access to your income and any joint credit you may have. From then you do all the grocery etc s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:19 AM |
| 2 | Should I separateNo trial separation. File for divorce. Remain in the marital home at least until there is a temporary custody order in place and all the way through the divorce if required. Fight for 50/50 parenting time or better, your son needs you just as much (if not more) as he needs his mother. Your marriage sucks. Your wife has disrespected you in the worst way possible. There's not much there of value to want to save by my reading of your post. Your wife still has everything she wants, the home, your fi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 01:15 PM |
| 3 | I need Advice on Custody Arrangement After DivorceMoving away from your kids would be a huge mistake IMO. They need you just as much as they need their mother. Your relationship with them will likely never be the same and when you're somewhere else outside of their day-to-day lives your ex's parental alienation will be highly effective. Start looking at ways to level up your income where you are. Ages 7/8 is probably around the most difficult age logistically, it will get easier as the kids get more independent going forward. Regarding all the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:58 AM |
| 10 | Healing?She didn't stop seeing you because she was "scared about getting too close". She stopped seeing you because she wanted to see a different man that she thought was better than you. That then fell through - she probably got pump-and-dumped by a Chad - and now she's back settling for you. Keep that in mind going forward when thinking about this relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:46 AM |
| 1 | Pre-emptive divorce lawyer consult without planning to separate?I can't speak to the Australia-specific aspects of your divorce. How premarital property where the mortgage payments are made from joint marital funds are treated is pretty location-specific, as is whether you can claim some separate property interest in the marital home due to your premarital savings. However based on the behaviors she's shown you need to be speaking to an attorney ASAP. She's already several steps ahead of you and you need to be playing catch-up. One term you used that I don't… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:54 PM |
| 4 | What is the best way to find the best Divorce attorney in my area?Take a day off work, go down to the courthouse and watch some family court motion hearings, trials etc and when you see an attorney that clearly has it together get their card. You want an attorney that isn't afraid to see the inside of a courtroom, and who you are confident in because you've seen them in action. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:44 PM |
| 29 | Cheater STBXW is suddenly being nice to me 4 months after divorce filing 6 months after DDayHer AP is probably showing signs of waffling and she's starting to see how there is probably no future there. Women never fully let go of the last branch (you) without having a firm grip on the next branch. This is only going to last until she has a firm grip on a new guy then she'll be back to the passive-aggressiveness. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:39 PM |
| 1 | How do I plan ahead?The custody thing is up to you. I know I would certainly never agree that I was a lesser parent. If you ask me, when the kids are middle/high school is precisely when the children need fathers MORE, not less. Fathers are more likely to tell children like it is and prepare them for being adults, to be presenting the example of getting up and going to work every day even if your job sucks and you don't feel like it because the bills have to be paid. This is when they develop their work ethic. And … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:31 PM |
| 2 | The Bad GuyA quick look at her comment history shows nothing but man-hating across many subreddits. With man-haters it really bothers them that men have a place to discuss issues involving women without being policed and controlled by women. I can't imagine how narcissistic I'd have to be to show up on women's subreddits to tell them they're all wrong yet here she is. She's apparently a lesbian so not really sure what value she has to add to a "Divorce_Men" subreddit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:14 PM |
| 1 | The Bad GuyIt seems you're living in an alternate reality to the rest of us. In our reality, men get twice the prison sentence than women do for the same offense. In our reality, the mere false accusation from a woman with zero physical evidence is enough to put a man in jail and removed from all contact with his children for months and/or years, whereas short of a DUI with the children in the car or a timestamped geolocated photograph of the woman with a needle in her arm and the child next to her a woman… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 04:04 PM |
| 1 | Separated - spouse not allowing visitationIf there is no custody order in place you are free to take the child wherever you want and not make the child available to her whatsoever as well. You sound like you're afraid of her. She is NOT the parenting decider, the courts are. Bowing down to her now will only embolden her in the future, and the way to get equal parenting time in the future is to stand up for yourself now and make it known that you will not accept being considered the lesser parent in any way. If you moved out of the marit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:50 AM |
| 2 | How do I plan ahead?Can you get paid cash for that side job? Accounts can be found, cash can't. As others said, a weekly $50-100 cash back on purchases would be tough to detect as well, I did that for a couple years and put away $10k cash as a just-in-case war chest. It's going to be tough to even use the inheritance as leverage against your retirement as inheritance is always considered separate property unless it's commingled by putting the money together with marital money/assets. But you have the right idea abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:43 AM |
| 8 | I’m struggling. Separated wife is guilt tripping me. Am I crazy for still caring about her? Doubting myself for wanting a divorce.Dude she has completely disrespected you. The only reason she shows any remorse now is because she's experiencing consequences, and as soon as those consequences are removed (by you coming back) it's just a matter of time before she goes right back to being a horrible wife. Gaslighting. Manipulation. These are not the actions of anyone who loves and respects you. End this now before there are kids involved and a much worse situation is on your hands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:36 AM |
| 5 | The Bad GuyI find the vast majority of women have no accountability whatsoever, and jump straight to whataboutism at all times. In 20+ years of marriage to 3 different women, I could count the times that any of them took actual accountability on less than one hand. OP's story checks out completely in my experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:17 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone had their spouse/ex run away with their kids and enroll them in school in a different state?If there's no custody order in place, go where they are and pick them up from school and bring them back to your state and re-enroll them there. Make her fight the long-distance battle to get them back where she is, not you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Unsure of what to doDude this woman is a boat anchor. Life is hard enough without having to drag something like that around. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership of two people working together to carry the load - instead you're carrying the load AND her. You need to start preparing for divorce now. She's setting up a status quo of you supporting her while she does nothing and you want to avoid that being the case once divorce is filed. Cut off all her access to your money and your credit right now and tell her … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 04:29 PM |
| 4 | Ex's love interest says he will beat me upWrite it down in your parenting journal for documentation purposes but don't do anything with it. If the child brings it up to the therapist herself it's fine but I wouldn't bring it up to the therapist or anyone else. If you show the other side that this behavior is getting a rise out of you it will continue/increase, so just ignore it for the time being but have it there in your back pocket for any future family court actions. As others have said, the fact your kid defended you and told you ab… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Kids not wanting to come with me?Show up for your parenting time, every time. Have a copy of your custody order with you. Call the police if she doesn't produce the kids and show them the order. Even if they won't force her to give you the kids, get a police report indicating her refusal to produce the children at your prescribed parenting time and after a few instances of this you will have the ammunition you need to go to court and get this fixed, either via a change in primary custody or otherwise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 11:52 PM |
| 1 | Ex wife moved into a houseShe might already have a dude supporting her and possibly living there with her and helping pay the rent... | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 11:44 PM |
| 16 | Getting divorce over having a kidGuess what - she always wanted children and thought she'd eventually be able to manipulate you into going along with it. Congratulations on standing your ground, most men don't. You're probably a good resource provider and by having children she locks you into 18+ years of mommy support so having a kids is a great financial insurance policy for her. You dodged a bullet brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 11:29 PM |
| 2 | Moved out. Filed. She doesn’t want kids sleeping at my placeYour lawyer sucks. Whether there is a law or not, you've set the status quo that the kids live with mom and you live somewhere else. Status quo is by far the largest bias of the family court system. Move back into the home if at all possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 11:24 PM |
| 2 | No more dates with girls that have no kidsGenuine answer - I liken dating single mothers to the jar of jellybeans analogy. In this jar there are 100 jellybeans. Two of them are actual delicious jellybeans inside, the other 98 are filled with cat shit. There is no way whatsoever to determine whether you've gotten a good jellybean or a catshit jellybean without taking a big ol' bite. Would you pick a jellybean out and give it a bite or do you just push the jar away and say "no thanks"? My life is awesome - I'm great financially and on tra… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 10:59 PM |
| 3 | ExchangesCourts don't want to deal with things that you haven't first tried to solve yourselves. This will need to be a several step process: BIFF (Brief Informative Friendly Firm) email to her recounting the occasions where you were forced to wait excessively and expressing your desire that he be ready to go at the stated exchange time. Assuming the above is ineffective, another BIFF email requesting moving the exchanges to a neutral location per the other commenter below seems like a good idea. Assumin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 05:11 PM |
| 11 | No more dates with girls that have no kidsCouldn't really disagree more. You're going to be at best priority number x+2 down the list to a single mom where x is her number of children. And since she's well versed in the divorce & mommy support laws in this country she knows just how to get her hands on as much of your assets/resources as possible. Not to mention all the massive problems of trying to blend families, the resentment your children will have when you're spending more time with her kids than you are your own etc. Single moms … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 04:56 PM |
| 5 | Were you once these things or subscribed to them prior to divorce?Same here regarding relationships with women since the last divorce. They seem to just assume after we hook up for a few months that I'm going to just move them into my house and spend my life savings on them. When that doesn't happen here come the veiled threats of "I need that level of commitment or blah blah" and I get to smile a little inside at their shocked Pikachu face when I tell them they won't be getting that from me and they need to head on down the road... | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 01:35 PM |
| 4 | Finally served my wife yesterday now after eight months of literal hell…Almost the exact same thing that happened to me - I got baby trapped just 3 months into dating and "did the right thing" and married her. It was like a switch flipped once we were married and the real her came out. Tried to make the best of it and even ended up having a second child with her but the writing was on the wall for the marriage from very early on. You need to reconsider on putting her in jail, if she attacks you again call the cops immediately and have her removed from the home and g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 04:21 PM |
| 3 | Is it scary to go to court?Take a day off work and go up to "family" court and see it in operation for yourself. That will take away some of your fear of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 04:15 PM |
| 3 | No contact with kids 50/50Revert to email communication only. Direct her emails to a separate inbox folder that you only check once per day and do not respond to her less than 24 hours after email was sent. BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) communication only in your emails to her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 04:10 PM |
| 1 | MoneyDo not pay her anything that isn't court ordered. Time for her to put her big-girl pants on. If there's currently no custody order, go get your kids and keep them, you don't need her permission to have your children at your new place. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 05:40 AM |
| 1 | Guidance needed on separation planMove back into the marital home immediately. Don't tell her you're doing it, just wait for a time when she's not there and move back in. Right now you're going to be negotiating from a position of massive weakness because you're already out of the marital home. She's got your house, your kids, soon your money, and no you. She could walk down to the courthouse and file for divorce, 100% temporary custody (because she's in the children's home and you're not), temporary spousal and child support, a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 05:35 AM |
| 1 | What rights do we have?Change the locks. Until you file and request/receive exclusive use and occupancy of the home she can legally also have them changed after you do it but most likely she'll just pitch a fit and do nothing. You need to get the divorce filing going ASAP. After changing the locks move all her crap to the garage and give her a specific date/time to come pick it up but otherwise don't give her access. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 03:20 PM |
| 2 | Do you ever regret not fighting for more custody of your children?Keep in mind that what you're agreeing to is the baseline custody that's on paper and not necessarily what you might end up doing going forward. If she's as unreliable and flighty as you portray she's probably going to willingly give you a much greater share of the parenting time post-divorce so that she can go out and party it up. She may just want the 50/50 parenting time on paper to 1) save face to other moms/family 2) avoid paying CS to you 3) get CS from you depending on state CS guidelines… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 05:39 AM |
| 2 | Play therapy for kidsNo you're misunderstanding me - I'm saying just smile and nod to the therapist but keep the parallel parenting going. My ex is always trying to overly communicate (ie. be up in my business and try to dictate what happens on my parenting time) and I pursue parallel parenting to the greatest extent possible. There's nothing wrong with it at all and as long as you're not openly voicing your thoughts about their mother in front of the children it's really not affecting them either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Play therapy for kidsOK fair enough, sounds a bit like my son. Perhaps in this case instead of pushing back directly to the therapist it's a "Smile and nod and then just keep doing what you know is right" ie. parallel parenting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 04:28 PM |
| 9 | She's the Devil Reincarnate - Never Takes AccountabilityGo to the police TODAY and get domestic violence charges filed against her and a restraining order against her removing her from the marital home and away from you and your daughter. Do not delay. You're not leaving the house - she is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 04:12 PM |
| 1 | I thought we were happily marriedThey always go on a propaganda operation during divorce, it's absolutely common. Best bet is to just ignore it and make your life the best it can be. If any mutual friends ask you can absolutely give your side of the story but I wouldn't go out of my way to do it. And any "friends" that just believe her lies without asking you weren't really the kind of friends you want to have anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 04:02 PM |
| 3 | I thought we were happily marriedThis is why marriage is a no-go with current laws and societal norms. It's not that she WILL screw you over, it's that she CAN and the system absolutely encourages it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 03:58 PM |
| 1 | Play therapy for kidsUgh play therapy. Been there done that - what a colossal fucking waste of time and money. I see below your kids are 2 and 5, that kind of stuff is beyond useless at those ages. Be careful with the therapist, women often try to enlist them as allies to testify on their behalf in future custody court proceedings - and since the therapists are almost always women their female in-group bias will be in full effect. Your best bet is to figure out a way for your kids to no longer have to go to the ther… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 03:49 PM |
| 2 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife?This is the way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 11:32 PM |
| 5 | I've been separated with no agreement for 5 years My ex just informed me she's not bringing my kid back after having him for a week for the summer and that she's filing papers for custody and registered him at a school in her county.Don't waste any time, get a lawyer and get to your county courthouse ASAP for an emergency order returning the child to your custody. Time is critical. Be prepared to prove that the child has been residing primarily in your care - pictures, sports teams, extracurricular activities etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Negotiating temp custody schedule with narcissistYou're nowhere near getting in front of a judge, and they won't care anyway because you're not violating any order. Is your ex worried about keeping YOUR temperature down? Seems she's just fine keeping the kids away from you. You have to show her that you are her equal in parenting and will not be bullied out of parenting time. That is the only way that negotiations will go anywhere. Right now she's getting everything she wants, why would she agree to change that? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Negotiating temp custody schedule with narcissistIf there's no custody order, quit talking to her. Next time you pick up the kids, just keep them. She isn't the parenting decider. Your only chance is to show her you're not backing down and will keep the kids 100%. Let her ask YOU for time with the kids. A reasonable custody order can then be negotiated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 06:25 AM |
| 5 | If you could say one last thing to your X/STBX and she couldn't respond... What would it be?Nothing. Venting at her only shows her you care what she thinks... and I don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 06:17 AM |
| 3 | Divorcing, but it's more profitable for mePretty typical. My sole net worth has increased to 2.5x what we had together 5 years ago at the time of divorce despite me having to give up half of that in the divorce. She bought a way more expensive house than I did, and way more expensive car than I drive of course - it's all about looking good to her friends. Meanwhile I just care about having a house in a convenient area with enough room for the kids and I, and a car that gets us where we need to go. It's easy to build wealth on a good inc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 06:14 AM |
| 1 | Love of my lifeThe longer you put off the inevitable the longer your alimony sentence will likely be. At some point you've got to rip off the bandaid. Start thinking about some austerity measures (ie. removing her access to the money you earn or joint credit except for the bare minimum required for existence) to see if that can get her working. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/24 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Wife Buying me out of MortgageThe inheritance isn't in play at all - she's not entitled to any of it whatsoever so don't consider that a bargaining chip. Equalize the assets 50/50 INCLUDING the net of current value of the home minus remaining mortgage. Make sure you get a valuation on her pension for purposes of this equalization. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/24 09:47 PM |
| 5 | Final Mediation Texas - 19 yrs, 3 kidsShe has "full physical custody", gets max cap child support and a 55% asset split and you're high-fiving your attorney? You basically got fucked way worse than what you would have gotten in court. Your "superb" attornery did a great job of convincing you to take a shitty deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/24 08:08 AM |
| 5 | How do you feel about your wife keeping your surname after the divorce?Mine never actually changed her name to mine while we were married, however she tries to go by my last name to everyone to try and have the same last name as the children. Every time I reference her to the teachers etc on emails we're both copied on, I call her "Ms. <her actual maiden name>" which makes her mad and gives me a little chuckle each time. Like you're too good to take my name while married but want to pretend you were a traditional wife who did? GTFO. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/24 06:25 PM |
| 6 | Grey divorce, teen children and retirementWrong, it's some but definitely not most. The great majority of states end child support at 19 or high school graduation whichever is first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/24 05:19 PM |
| 7 | Got one that can’t find much detail about. 9/5 Ackerman parenting schedule.My opinion is you should go for 50/50 equal parenting time if your schedule allows. Our 2-2-5-5 schedule works well. I refuse to be considered a "less than" parent to my ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/24 05:09 PM |
| 2 | Is it selfish to want to be happy?Yep we're 100% on the same path. I'm raising my kids and not thinking about women at all. I can pull one from the bar if I as you said "get the itch" but that's about as far as it goes. Definitely never getting married again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/24 09:14 PM |
| 3 | Is it selfish to want to be happy?Marriage vows include "to have and to hold"... in the biblical sense. IE she needs to be doing her part in the bedroom. It's no less important than the "forsaking all others" and "til death do us part" phrases. So it ain't like princess is holding up her end either here. That said, agreed that he shouldn't divorce and definitely not get married again if he's looking for some fairytale woman who'll love him forever unconditionally or whatever. It's always going to be transactional. Men are "loved… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/24 05:58 PM |
| 6 | Lawyer dayThey all claim they're going to "burn you to the ground" but give them a walk up the courthouse steps where a stranger in robes will decide their financial future as well as their time with their children and they get alot more rational all of a sudden. You're going into this with all the wrong mindset of absolute fear - she's got just as much to lose as you do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/23 07:29 AM |
| 8 | Married for 2 years but sex is decliningDivorce her. Desire cannot be negotiated, she's either got it for you or she doesn't. DO NOT IMPREGNATE HER IN THE MEANTIME. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/23 06:37 AM |
| 3 | I just can't believe I'm hereUnless you personally witnessed this "abuse" her ex supposedly perpetrated, I'd take whatever claims she made about him with a massive amount of salt. The vast majority of men here have exes claiming that we were all abusive when that couldn't have been further from the truth, and in fact the reverse was often true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 03:21 AM |
| 2 | Marital Settle Agreement - Spousal Support as final clause?Search "non-modifiable spousal support California" and you'll find a bunch of information. Be careful though as this is a double-edged sword as if you lose your job or your income otherwise drops you may not be able to get spousal support reduced accordingly either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/23 05:03 AM |
| 2 | Marital Settle Agreement - Spousal Support as final clause?In most states you can put in provisions about unmodifiable spousal support. However regarding child support, the state will always have the ability to change that. Usually after around 3 years the CS leech can ask for a "look-in" and have CS re-calc'd based on current CS payer income and you'd have to provide W-2s, checkstubs etc. This is why we always advise men to never give up anything of value for below-guideline CS - because it can easily be revisited later. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/23 01:12 AM |
| 1 | How did you guys get past the doubts and potential regret of divorcing your wife?That's a cool way of putting the old "Watch what people do, not what they say" mantra. As far as I'm concerned after three marriages and many other relationships, the words of a woman are basically meaningless. I learn everything I need to know about them by watching what they do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 04:39 AM |
| 4 | Men who initiated the process (not due to infidelity reasonings), when did you know it was time, and why did you initiate?When she put her face two inches from mine while I laid on the couch grey-rocking and screamed "I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!" | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 04:34 AM |
| 1 | Fantasize with me for a secHe had a thread about it a week or two ago. He lived 100 miles from his children prior to them moving and the mother had the vast majority of parenting time already. When it came time for the moveaway fight it wasn't a choice between the kids' status quo and moving to Hawaii, it was a choice between moving to a new life in Hawaii with the parent they've mostly been with or moving 100 miles away to a new life with the parent they've been with less. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 04:23 AM |
| 17 | Fear of committing after seeing all the horror stories here. Young man need adviceI'm guessing you probably haven't told her that you lost almost a million dollars recently and are likely in a bunch of debt on the borrowed money part. Tell her that and your questions will probably answer themselves soon enough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 04:08 AM |
| 5 | Is this Considered Commingled AssetsIf she can show a clear paper trail for the transfer she can probably keep the pre-marital amount as separate property. However any increase in value on that pre-marital 401k after the date of marriage whether it occurred in the new 401k or the old one are half yours in most states. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 03:48 PM |
| 13 | Anyone ever feel like never wanting a relationship again?I had a very similar experience recently. I met a woman at a wedding and we hit it off pretty well and dated for around 6 months. Towards the end I was feeling spread very thin seeing her every weekend I didn't have the kids (50/50 also). She was always pleasant, sex was great - although like you I was paying more of the restaurant/entertainment bills as I make quite a bit more than her. In my case she had a kid as well so understood a bit more how difficult it was to make time for her. But by t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Mediation complete - TexasCount again. Most months don't have a 5th weekend so those months you're only getting 12 overnights. Months with a 5th weekend you're getting 16 overnights. Unless you mean you have Monday overnights on your weekends you basically just agreed to Texas Expanded Standard with an extra Wednesday overnight on your 2nd/4th weeks. Expanded Standard is there for the asking and basically given by any judge automatically so it ain't that big a win. If you're happy with your deal, then I'm happy for you. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:39 PM |
| 1 | Were you paranoid about spending money on non-essentials?My divorce took 3 months. I didn't spend much of anything. I didn't date at all during divorce or for about a year afterwards. I definitely spent $0 in any attempt to impress women. I was also riding a paid off motorcycle, along with 2 other paid-off 10+ year old vehicles. When you don't care whatsoever what other people think about you, expenses have a way of going way down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 08:51 AM |
| 3 | What to look for in a divorce lawyer?Exactly this. Lots of lawyers talk a big game but are actually deathly afraid of the courtroom and will talk you into a bad deal to avoid the walk up the courthouse steps. Find an attorney that isn't scared of the courtroom. Any attorney can mediate, only a litigator can litigate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 08:41 AM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?It doesn't look like anything at all. I don't need a woman in my life, and if I need that itch scratched I'll pick one up from the neighborhood bar and have a night of fun then go back to living my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 08:36 AM |
| 2 | Mediated Settlement Agreement to final divorce decree (Texas)Mine went pretty smoothly after MSA to decree in Texas. Her attorney wrote the decree. READ EVERY DRAFT 3 TIMES AT LEAST. We marked it up for changes we wanted and sent it back, process repeated a couple of times. It took about 3 weeks from MSA to decree in my case. However my ex was very motivated to get the decree signed as she needed it (ie. she needed the child support order to show guaranteed income) to qualify for the loan on her new house. I was able to leverage her motivation for a fast … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 08:33 AM |
| 3 | Mediation complete - TexasI'm in Texas and have 50/50, so clearly what you agreed to on custody is not the "best case". Mine balked at 50/50 in mediation too but when my lawyer and I packed up to walk out 2 hours in she all of a sudden was OK with 50/50. Your lawyer talked you into a bad deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 08:18 AM |
| 1 | Lost the best thing that ever happened to me.If she was all that awesome she would have just left, not cheated and then left for that dude. Just another cheating 304, brother. Plenty of those out there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 12:01 AM |
| 3 | What is your biggest regret?I regret agreeing to $1800/mo in child support in mediation when the 50/50 guideline was something like $1100/mo. Having that 50/50 parenting time on the table at that point (in Texas where 50/50 is for the most part by agreement only) made me give up a little more than I should have as my attorney advised countering down to $1500 but I didn't want to risk it as the $1800 was already down from their $2100 starting point (standard Texas 2 kids CS as if she was primary). I've gotten significant ra… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/23 11:58 PM |
| 1 | Lies in Motions and AffidavitsPerjury for all intents and purposes does not apply in "family" court. A perjury charge requires a district attorney to pursue that charge and district attorneys do not get elected by charging "poor", "abused" single mothers crying crocodile tears in court with perjury. Even when it's entirely provable it's a bad look for them - again as they are elected officials. It sounds like they've got you dancing and fighting a bunch of BS in their motions. You've got to change your tactics and work your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/23 11:42 PM |
| 2 | FKN Ex Wife, Now What?Mean to your daughter? What the fuck man. Any chick that was anything less than 100% pleasant with my children would be gone from my life IMMEDIATELY. You need to prioritize your relationship with your daughter here. I have a good friend who has basically no contact with his young adult children because he remarried to a toxic woman who treated his children poorly, and even after he divorced her the children resent him for subjecting them to a toxic stepmother. You are in danger of that kind of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Parental Alienation - Any Success Stories?The only reasonably successful approaches that the men's divorce forums have found have been those from Dr. Craig Childress. He approaches PA as an attachment disorder on the alienating parent's part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 01:14 PM |
| 2 | Alimony QuestionSo much this. If she's getting half of everything else she gets half the debt too. Make zero alimony your starting point, time for princess to put on her big girl pants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/23 05:26 PM |
| 47 | For the men who never remarried and remained single fathers, is your life more fulfilling?If I had it to do over again I'd have gone with surrogacy so that I don't still have to deal with my ex-wife and would have 100% autonomy on decisions regarding the children and not forced to give an awful person $22k per year in tax-free "child support" even though I have the children just as much as she does. Regarding the fulfillment in my life - I like the way things are now FAR more than while married. The ex made daily life miserable - constant nagging and complaining, criticizing everythi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/23 05:20 PM |
| 2 | It can get worse.OK, now knowing that I can see how you lost. It wasn't a choice between status quo and a completely new environment, it was a choice between two completely new environments. This is why we typically advise men here who aren't the custodial parent to live in the same school district as the mother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Early support $?Don't give anything up in exchange for a child support number that's less than state guidelines. After the deal is done and she's taken whatever you traded for it she can then go to the state child support division and easily get an order for guideline support. And as others have said, don't pay her anything that isn't court ordered. Keep paying for whatever you were paying for prior to divorce filing but nothing else. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 08:01 PM |
| 5 | How did you tell your wife you want to separate when you have kids?I handed her a copy of the divorce petition that my lawyer had filed earlier that day after the kids had gone to bed. Don't tip your hand ahead of time and give her time to formulate false DV accusations, hide/dissipate assets, strategize with a lawyer etc. She is no longer your wife, she is your opponent in the most important and difficult lawsuit you will ever have to deal with and you need to treat her as such. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/23 03:41 PM |
| 2 | Amicable, Not Messy, Possible?You said she makes more than you do. You won't be paying alimony if that's the case. Don't just lay down and give her everything, you are entitled to half of the marital assets. You paying for everything else allowed her to accrue assets that you could not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 10:07 PM |
| 2 | Amicable, Not Messy, Possible?Just because the house is "in her name" doesn't mean you don't have equity in it. If the mortgage has been paid with marital funds (ie. her and your paychecks) then any equity gained during the marriage is half yours. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 05:05 PM |
| 4 | Am I been unfair ?California is a 50/50 parenting time state by default unless it can be shown why that shouldn't be the case. If you want 50/50 parenting time, fight for it. Do not agree to anything less and just say "let's see what the judge says" if she balks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 04:54 AM |
| 2 | Update: Separation UltimatumYou are putting WAY too much stock into a woman's words. They are for the most part meaningless. Look at her ACTIONS. Do her actions demonstrate that she respects you and is committed to your marriage? I think you know that the answer is no. Nothing she says will change her actions. Do not give an ultimatum, divorce is not something you threaten it's something you file for. And quit putting the outcome of your life in the choices of someone else. This woman is demonstrating through her actions t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 04:20 AM |
| 9 | Rachael Ray is a shapeshifterIn this case the wall isn't just undefeated, that MF ran up the scoreboard on RR. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 03:43 AM |
| 3 | Seeking Timesharing AdviceEqual parenting time. Your state has a presumption of 50/50 timeshare. If she doesn't agree - "let's see what the judge says". She probably wants the extra child support associated with being primary like most women. If she's not in agreement - aim for trial as quickly and inexpensively as possible. Don't waste time and money in mediation without a looming trial date. The walk up the courthouse steps where a stranger in robes will be deciding her fate has a way of making women a lot more rationa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 03:23 AM |
| 1 | A List of Custody WantsAhh the "shuttling back and forth is bad for the kids" mom-centric nonsense. Kids are generally more resilient than we give them credit for and my kids go back and forth without issue. They adjusted to the new schedule within a few weeks of starting it. I'm a better parent than she is and have 50/50 parenting time and my kids love their time with me as it's so much more relaxed here. What's the difference between "shuttling" once a week on Fridays and "shuttling back and forth" every other Frida… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 02:39 AM |
| 2 | My ex picked up the car at the mechanicHave a tow truck go get your car. If you can show that you're on the title and a legal owner, they'll have no issues grabbing it and you won't have any problems with showing up at her place yourself. Then have the locks changed. Also, did the judge grant her exclusive use and occupancy of the home? If not - and assuming you're on the title of the home, you can have a locksmith change the locks of the home just like she did and move right back in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 02:26 AM |
| 11 | CustodyGet a new job that's not 2nd shift. The current unemployment rate is 3.8%. What's more important, your current job or being a father to your child? Every other weekend makes you a distant second as a parent to your child, and likely a distant third once she shacks up with some dude. He's going to have (far) more time with your son than you will. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 02:21 AM |
| 5 | Help Me Make SenseHoly hell dude you have got to protect yourself and work on a plan for divorcing this woman. Also, I hate to say this but you need to have your oldest child paternity tested as all too often women will grab onto their nearest beta provider when they get pregnant with Chad's baby because they know Chad will never stay and provide - they'll have sex with beta provider a few times then claim the baby is his. Her "not put a label on us" was because she wanted to fuck other dudes. Also, she didn't "e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 02:14 AM |
| 3 | I finally did itI see references to "several states away" then references to child support. I really hope you're not planning to be nowhere near your kids during this divorce if you want to be in their lives going forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 01:50 AM |
| 19 | Wife wants a divorce, we don’t have money for lawyers.Why would anyone want someone back who is threatening them with false DV and willing to lie to put them in jail, never let them see their children again, and rob them blind asset-wise as a result? This woman is your enemy and the sooner you realize that and start protecting yourself from her the better off you will be. Edit: Also when a woman wants to "separate so you can work on yourself" what she's really wanting is you out of the house so she can freely bang other dudes and lock in her next p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 02:35 PM |
| 11 | Wife wants a divorce, we don’t have money for lawyers.Do not move out without a custody order signed by a judge. It's just as much your home as it is hers. Get a digital audio recorder running covertly on your person at all times when you're in the home to use against false DV accusations. Sounds like she's painting all of the marital issues as your fault but personally I'd say the kind of person threatening false DV accusations has quite alot to "work on themselves" as well. Your days of worrying about her stress levels are over, don't light yours… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 02:10 PM |
| 3 | Have you learned anything?Self-improve? LOL I'm perfect just as I am. Just because some dumb cunt couldn't see it doesn't make it any less true. I do not base any perception of my self-worth on what women think. Neither should any other man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 03:10 AM |
| 5 | STBXW wants to be primary for school to settle. Should I?Listen to this. Get 50/50 parenting time with geographic restrictions on the school district. She can be "primary" or whatever with her address on the school forms to look good to her friends but lock in the school progression (elementary-middle-high school) in the decree and you need to move YOURSELF into those designated school areas so that if she tries the move-away you can show that you can keep the kids in the designated area and should then become primary. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 03:04 AM |
| 2 | A temporary restraining order was entered. What to do?You need a lawyer. Do not take this separation from your son lying down and DO NOT let it become the status quo from which future custody is based. Get an attorney and push for emergency custody orders to establish parenting time with your child. March is way too long to go without time with your son, fight this with every resource that you have available. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 03:00 AM |
| 9 | What do you guys think about MGTOWI subscribe 100% to its tenets (no marriage, no cohabitation) but dare not speak the acronym to anyone at the risk of getting cancelled for wrongthink. I just live my life and keep my distance from women until I feel the need to scratch that itch then back to the streets she goes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 02:56 AM |
| 3 | What are the top 3 things to consider before moving out ?They should consider NOT moving out. It's the biggest mistake one can make during divorce. It often means you'll have to prepare and be able to protect yourself from false DV accusations etc, but men do what it takes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/23 06:01 PM |
| 3 | The TalkNothing is wrong from her point of view. She has everything she wants and doesn't have to do a damn thing to show any appreciation or reciprocate. This is the reality of modern marriage - women have no incentive to hold up their end anymore as they know they have you over a barrel and society has removed any and all expectations for women in marriage. Keep your cards close to your vest and file when you're 100% ready. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/23 05:57 PM |
| 3 | ConfusedYeah also common for them to gaslight the guy they're trying to keep on the string in case new guy falls through - "You're crazy, I'm doing this for us!" I hope the "trial separation" wasn't you moving out of the marital home and away from your children. If it was, move back home IMMEDIATELY and then file for divorce ASAP. You do not want her establishing a status quo of her having the kids all the time and you living somewhere else. DO NOT move out of the marital home without a custody order si… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 05:46 PM |
| 2 | ConfusedTrial separation for women = "I want to bang another guy freely and see if I can get him to commit and lock my hooks in for the future before I completely let go of current husband". You should have never done that. She never had any intention of reconciling, unless of course the dude hit it a few times then kicked her to the curb at which point you would be her backup plan. Just file for divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 03:49 PM |
| 3 | Filed together for an amicable divorce despite gut instinct.You do not have an amicable divorce. She wants you to be an every other weekend dad or whatever which is unacceptable. Get a lawyer and fight for 50/50 equal parenting time. If neither of you can afford to buy out the other then the house will eventually be sold but don't be in a hurry to do so as without a signed custody order she can run off with the kids to her new place and you can't do a thing about it. With the marital home in place you've got pretty good standing that the children should … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/23 07:54 PM |
| 11 | Female judgesThe sisterhood always looks out for itself... | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/23 02:20 AM |
| 6 | Dating a divorcee: A loser's winning storyLOL this exactly. So guys I have no relationship with my kids, but some woman is letting me put my penis in her vagina. So it's all good! GTFOH | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/23 05:53 AM |
| 3 | Did I fuck up?You need to go back home, get a digital audio recorder and have it running on your person covertly at all times to fight a potential false domestic violence accusation. Next time she physically attacks you IMMEDIATELY call the police and have her arrested and charged and get a restraining order keeping her away from you and the children. DO NOT establish a status quo of her being home with the children and you living somewhere else with no custody as that will be what is continued after the divo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/23 03:35 PM |
| 2 | I know what to do need to prepare firstThere's no such thing as "refuse to sign papers". It only takes one person to divorce. You file for divorce, she is served with the petition. If she doesn't respond you'll go to court and get a default divorce judgement. That won't happen though, after she's served she'll get a lawyer and will respond and make sure she gets half of whatever you've got. Don't move out of the house. It's your house just as much as hers and you being there gives her incentive to settle as she can't lock down her ne… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/23 03:04 PM |
| 3 | Blowing it up for a dead bedroom and no loveI hope when you say "time for me to go" and "I'm not there anymore" that you don't mean you're leaving the marital home. DO NOT MOVE OUT. You need to file for divorce without tipping your hand first and you continue to live in the marital home until there is a custody order signed by a judge. There's no need for "having the talk", just hire an attorney and have them file the divorce petition and have your ex served. Tipping your hand just opens you up for a whole bunch of bad things that can hap… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/23 04:52 PM |
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