~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 2 | Book Recs?Not Divorce related but a great series. Vince Flynn books. Mitch Rapp series. There's about 20 of them. I always recommend to anyone looking for something new. CIA assassin stuff. Espionage, Spy & Counter Terrorism stories. They are real page turners. A bit like Jack Ryan from Tom Clancy but way more grittier & realistic for the most part. Obviously best to read them in order but not completely necessary. There are brief character recaps for all the main ones. Also don't let the movie American A… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/24 08:33 AM |
| 2 | I need to get this out thereYou've probably heard it before but just in case you haven't check out the "light switch effect". The "I thought I did" sounds like a classic example of it to me. Total BS on her part. Of course she loved you. The only way they can justify their actions or beliefs is to rewrite their own history in their mind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/24 06:00 AM |
| 8 | Need advice: wife left me with the kidsGet an attorney. Establish their permanent residence there with you. Get on record they all go to school there so there will be no moving them anywhere. Have attorney right up a parenting agreement. Make it lean heavily toward you in all areas. See if she will sign it & send it back to your attorney & file it with court. If she is in an affair fog she might just do it to be able to be "free". Either way get something filed with the court so you can establish a baseline status quo or whatever it'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 11:30 PM |
| 1 | I'm struggling with not seeking revenge.I used to get incredibly pissed off thinking about how my ex screwed up my kids lives. She knew I wanted a happy little nuclear family because I never had one and for whatever reason she sabotaged it & herself. We were never married but I dealt with custody stuff in the past. Kids are older now so it really isn't an issue. They prefer to stay with me. It never seems like it makes much sense when people say just live well or forget about it but it is actually true. I couldn't care less about her … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/24 07:42 AM |
| 3 | Reconnecting with old flingsGo slow. Don't over text or call. Wrap it up. Prepare to be disappointed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 05:44 AM |
| 7 | AmazedUltimately its just to make her feel better. She might have briefly had a moment of clarity & felt bad about things but it probably didn't last too long. In the end they are just words. It's the therapy version of baptism. Once she apologizes then in her mind she is done with it & absolved of any guilt. If you aren't ok with it after, well that's on you. This is probably her thought process. Or she's just going through the motions of the steps. Obviously I could be wrong but history & all these … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/24 07:47 AM |
| 10 | Car crash conversation - now what?As others have said there is literally nothing you can do about it right now. Once their mind is made up it's over. You should stop communicating with her. Hire a lawyer & file. You can always stop it down the road. She will need to see you thriving or at the minimum completely indifferent to her in every way before she changes her point of view if ever. You can't convince her with logic or money. You shouldn't have to convince her of anything in the first place. Believe me I've been there. You … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/24 01:48 AM |
| 5 | Should I attend my STBXW surprise birthday party?No way. You'll just look like a fool to her coworkers. I'd bet $1000 she told at least one of her coworkers & by now most of the others know. Hell if any infidelity is going on they might even be there. Nothing good can come of this. Just outright refuse to go or lie last minute with car trouble or something who cares. The bigger jerk you are the better chance you'll have with her hot coworker later. Use this time to make one last sweep of the house & secure any paperwork or guns or expensive eq… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/24 05:24 AM |
| 4 | My divorce broke everything inside and I don’t know how to move forwardExcellent advice. I believe all these things but never quite heard it worded like that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/24 05:02 AM |
| 2 | I made a mistakeShe was probably probing you for information on where your head was at about everything. She probably didn't really want you talk about it at all period despite what she said about it being ok. Or could just tell by the way you were acting or the negative/still emotionally involved vibes you were possibly giving off about it. Some woman do want to sort of step in and help a guy back on his feet etc. Others want absolutely no part of the guys past relationships whatsoever in any compacity. She co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/24 05:48 AM |
| 4 | This is crazy...please read.You skipped over the whole went on to become a Super Bowl Champion & NFL Hall of Famer straight to TV broadcaster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/24 08:55 AM |
| 3 | Anybody else try to protect their ex-wife’s reputation by not telling your side of the story? I feel like I can’t just throw her under the bus.Just say it didn't work out you know how she is or whatever & leave it at that. Who cares if someone thinks you're a jerk, will probably help you land some more women anyway truth be told. In two years their relationship will implode or already is anyway. Plus nobody really even cares & like others have said are secretly happy you're having problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 06:56 AM |
| 5 | It is said that 90% of success for relationships can be attributed to selection. Do you agree?There's not a whole lot of reasons to get married anymore especially if you are a man with any assets. Too risky. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 06:47 AM |
| 7 | It’s been over 2 years and I still can’t seem to move onThis is why couples or marriage counseling or therapy is such a collosal waste of time & money. You don't need counseling or therapy man. She cheated. Unless you were actively beating her there's no excuse. Tell the therapist & her to F off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 06:41 AM |
| 6 | Completely stuck on the pastYou have to face reality. It's over. It sucks but it isn't the end of the world. You're going to be ok. Start taking back any control you can. Get a lawyer & start exercising in some compacity a few times a week minimum to burn off that extra stress & keep yourself healthy. You have to get it together. Nobody really cares so we have to take care of ourselves. Harden up and let it go. Maybe sometime in a year or so you both will see things differently. In the meantime you have to take care of you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 06:36 AM |
| 5 | Thinking of leaving herDude if this is real you need to talk to an attorney ASAP & file for divorce immediately before something bad happens. Protect yourself first then after the divorce if she comes to her senses you can possibly try to reconnect. Not anytime soon though. She's gone mentally & probably physically. Check any insurance policies to make sure she didn't up the payouts. She's joined a cult. You are in danger at least financially at the minimum. It's late I can't believe I'm responding to this but just in… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 07:18 AM |
| 10 | I lost my shitShe probably put your statement about never blowing up & getting mad like your dad in her back pocket for future use by her. She knew she could act 9 kinds of crazy & you wouldn't blow up at her. That or some women intentionally pick at guys to get them to specifically explode like you did. It's not a big deal what you did. She probably deserved it. It's not like you went out of your way to pick a fight with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/24 05:37 AM |
| 1 | Divorce imminent, EPO came yesterday, what to do next?Keep on not responding to ANY communication attempts by her or a 3rd party. In some states EACH call, text or FB message that's found out or reported is a felony. Ive had friends that were set up by their wives or girlfriends during a no contact order to meet up & cops arrive & boom arrested & it's worse. One guy fell for it twice. Not sure if EPO is the same but don't even mess with it all even if sister starts saying she just wants to talk. Like others have said it will probably blow over but … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 06:53 AM |
| 2 | Couldn't she say it before?Well I mean they are notorious for never accepting any accountability & blaming everyone else. Whatever issue or problem that's going on or happened is rarely their fault in their own minds. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 05:54 PM |
| 5 | Couldn't she say it before?Most women are "unreliable narrators" of their lives. Also you can apply the "right now" rule of thumb to most of their statements regarding feelings, interests & likes. So as an example she might say she is happy living in a rural setting so you buy a nice house out away from alot of people & you think all is well. But she is happy living there RIGHT NOW. A year or two later that could change. "I don't care if you decided to work part time so you can help around the house & be around more." "I'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 08:04 AM |
| 1 | Help Getting 14 Year Old Daughter Comfortable at My New HouseYou're doing good. Sounds like you don't need to change anything. A 14 year old girl is going to be angsty like you said, moody, wishy washy etc no matter if she's living in a dump or a mansion. It's also not your job to entertain her 24/7 when she's there. Let her do her own thing a little more. Also let her learn to be bored. She's probably losing interest in Harry Potter movies & Lego's or whatever & on to something else. Then something else 2 months later. Limit and monitor her phone & inter… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 07:05 AM |
| 2 | Missing her latelySocial Media. The days of even an average quality woman sticking around for 20, 30 or 40 years in a marriage are over. In 10 years a 50 year marriage will be like phone booths... extinct. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 08:04 AM |
| 1 | I'm having a really hard time."Tinder Kid" Haha I have learned a new term & it is awful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 07:58 AM |
| 2 | Took a woman out for supper for the first time since the split and I'm all messed up.Well you say you've known her for a long time. Probably had some sort of basic template of her personality & behavior. Then she says she's in a open relationship. I'd bet $ that 90% of those crash & burn if the other person even knows. So if it was me I would feel a little bad for her because she's going to end up damaged goods if not already. And you also probably feel bad for yourself because it didn't play out like you thought. Maybe a hookup is ok if you can deal with it for a slump buster t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 09:28 AM |
| 2 | Help. My wife has gotten out of depression but now I'm lost"I spent every waking moment trying to help her" Never ever do this for a woman. For whatever reason instead of being grateful they resent it. Possibly because we can actually do the things they can't along with our stuff & it's no big deal. Similar to how it's so much easier to keep things clean & organized once they are gone. It's not hard at all to do. Next time she's acting that way completely ignore her or disappear for a day or 2. Tell her you won't respond to her till she changes her tone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 07:15 PM |
| 2 | Hard to leave BPD wife…thoughts?I didn't either till a few years ago. I went through it all off & on for years also. Somehow I managed to never get married but still deal with alot of the custody headaches as some of the guys here. It's pretty amazing how they all act the same. The patterns of behavior become almost (almost) predictable after you realize what's going on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 06:29 AM |
| 4 | Hard to leave BPD wife…thoughts?Go to BPDlovedones and you'll read similar stories all day everyday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 03:33 AM |
| 2 | Why do I do this?Cancel a few hours before. Kids will get over it. If she asks just tell her something came up. She probably was going to conveniently have someone else stop by or already be there and/ or post online how great you are helping out. Not because she believes this but to show everyone "see, we get along & are friends & I didn't do anything wrong in the marriage/relationship" Turn your phone on silent & disappear somewhere , not your place. Go have a beer somewhere for a few hours & don't answer your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 08:22 AM |
| – | In the military and ex wife is at it againOne of the top 3 rules. Do Not Look At An Ex's Social Media. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 08:10 AM |
| 1 | Getting Kids to School AdviceSchool Bus | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:09 AM |
| 4 | How did you find out about the affair partner?The mother, sisters & friends. Wish I knew way back when to analyze their behavior more because 9 out 10 times however they act is how she will end up. Mom, sisters & friends with shady relationships & divorces left & right, huge red flag. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:03 AM |
| 9 | How did you find out about the affair partner?If even a third of that total she will most likely never be able to truly pair bond with anyone again. Sad state of affairs with society these days. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:54 AM |
| 22 | My wife wants a divorceMoving forward you're going to have to keep your emotions & opinions about it in check to her. You will probably feel the need to put her on full blast & go off on her in texts or in person. This would be a huge mistake. They screenshot it & print it out & use it against you in court. I know because I've printed out hundreds of photo prints at work that people use for court, shocking stuff really. Try & keep cool & calm. Do what others have suggested. Start the divorce process & make her feel th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 06:52 AM |
| 5 | BPD - the flip is realSocial Media in my opinion. If they are really attractive they have options, like endless ridiculous amounts of suitors constantly. Plus most can't handle all the different posts of their "friends" & family doing things & buying things etc seemingly everyday. They can see a post of someone they "know" literally everyday either going on vacation, buying a new car or house, going out to eat or doing something. But they can't separate the fact that it's different people doing this stuff, not a cons… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 05:41 AM |
| 5 | Using email to sustain the disrespectWasn't married but went through much of same things here with child custody issues. When I "moved on" & stopped responding & caring so much she went on an absolutely ridiculous weeks long near daily text explosion. Just paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of rambling descriptions, insults, explanations, more insults, random meltdowns etc. It has finally basically stopped. Eventually if you stop responding and/or reacting to it she will probably stop too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 04:17 AM |
| 3 | Single mom with kids clearly from different fathers wonders why her future husband is still hiding.If you want to see this shit show in real time head over to singlemoms sub. It's just really sad in a way. Most of those kids don't have a chance. I'd say 1 out 10 is a legit got duped by a guy or they died & are left to pick up the pieces type deal. The rest are just story after story of whoa is me, how did this happen to my life etc. Most claim they "didn't know" the guy was like this or didn't know his past. They hate, and I mean hate when people point out to them that yes in fact you did hav… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 10/07/24 10:50 AM |
| 1 | Happy Father’s DayThey usually try & ruin any event or day that is important to you. I stopped saying so & so date is important because we are doing this or that because the ex would more often than not be late or try & ruin it somehow. So Father's Day, yeah a high percentage of them are going to make things difficult. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/24 05:37 AM |
| 16 | My wife mentioned divorceMany of these women who come from troubled backgrounds & chaotic relationships with family & exes simply cannot function long term in a relatively "normal" relationship/environment. They are used to the chaos. The extreme highs & lows. They don't even realize it themselves. I've seen it too many times with myself & friends. They get bored consciously or unconsciously with the normal day to day life. She might be struggling to maintain this new identity & lifestyle you have helped her acquire. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/24 05:31 AM |
| 3 | Wife has all her stuff packed. Last ditch effort or do I sit by idlyNo. Let her go. Maybe maybe maybe sometime way down the road you guys can reconnect but not now. There has to be changes/consequences for her & you to change in some way. The kids will figure it out. She's moving out, count that as a win. Lots of guys would love that. Otherwise you guys are going to end up on an episode of Forensic Files or Snapped or something with all the arguing & other people involved. As others have said, change those locks too. Get a few cameras set up outside. I'd bet mon… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/24 09:58 AM |
| 7 | Fuck itNot permanently but sometimes you have to take about 3 big steps back & not be so "available". (Just an example) : Big deal if you don't make every damn zoom call or BS supervised visit. She is probably the one that blew it all up anyway. Why should you have to jump through hoops to talk to the kids. She (probably) created the situation. When they know something is really important to you they will try & ruin it. Years ago when mine were little I stopped telling the ex certain dates were importa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/24 09:28 AM |
| 2 | Spouse that is divorcing me still going to the same churchIt it bothers you then don't go, at least for awhile. It's the same thing or similar to them wanting their exes to go to birthdays & do dinners & holidays together still like nothing is wrong so they are able to say "see, we are still friends, nothing terrible happened etc". Some people can do it no problem, others it's just too difficult or just being in their presence & hearing their voice is so irritating they can't be in the same room together. Take a break from it for a month then reacess. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 01:44 AM |
| 3 | Sex, pickup, faith, dating paradigms etcYou're getting way ahead of yourself first of all. It's not like there's going to be a line of women waiting to have sex with you all of a sudden. Just take things slow & see how they develop. If I'm wrong, sure, just drop everything & try & cut loose & try & be super promiscuous. But even if you do it's not going to be what you think it is. Sounds like you have a heart etc. You might not be able to even have sex etc & not catch feelings way before some veteran women will. Especially if you don'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/24 05:44 AM |
| 3 | Why do all the men here get into a panic over Mother’s Day? It’s like anxiety takes over. I could be wrong but I highly doubt the same sentiment is shared on the other side of the fence.It never is the same. On Mother's Day they usually want the day off to decompress etc , ok cool no big deal. But on Father's Day it's usually why don't you want to spend time with your kids?! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/24 05:26 AM |
| 18 | Dating a Divorced Single-Mom that has 100% custody of her Children...Here's what is about 90% likely to happen. Her life & past history of high drama type relationships will end up causing problems. She may think or even actually want a change & more stability with you. But these type of women get "bored" in normal relationships. They become somewhat addicted to the extreme highs & lows of the relationships. She probably doesn't even know it herself. Things will go ok for awhile. Then she will get distant & probably replace you with a carbon copy of her ex or the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 10:00 PM |
| 2 | It's time that society starts to recognize that career women deserve alpha chadsI replied something like this statement in another dating sub awhile back & it got deleted. The woman poster just COULD NOT figure out or understand why why why the guys she was attracted to wanted nothing to do with her. The comments & responses by her & others were oh so close to figuring it out but they just couldn't get there. I even worded it a bit more "politically correct" for lack of a better term right now. They were arguing back & forth about what they wanted etc. Yet they just couldn'… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 13/04/24 04:52 AM |
| 3 | Best strategy to date after 40?Breakups & Exnocontact & datingoverforty | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 12:45 AM |
| 5 | I am way too old to feel this way about a woman (post divorce dating)Take it real slow. Don't over invest in her too early. Don't over text or call her. Sit back some & let her do some of the chasing. Don't get over emotional & declare your feelings to her too soon. Try & stay busy with other stuff. Don't become too available. It's ok to cancel on poker night or bowling or whatever once in a while but not constantly. Have some other things going on besides just wanting to be with her especially early on. She will like this even if she acts disappointed. Plus if i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 12:31 AM |
| 2 | The incredible element for meYes ok I understand better now I think. After rereading OP's original question again I guess my answer is yes women are for sure more emotionally driven in their overall decision making & can change their opinion on just about anything based on how they are "feeling". Also it's how they are feeling about something or someone "right now". There's usually no major ramifications or consequences for them blowing up their family either. There's no social stigma that comes with it anymore either. Soci… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/24 05:42 AM |
| 2 | The incredible element for meMost men (& women) are about as loyal as their options as I think Chris Rock said. You think the morally superior married guy could resist a prime flirting Sophia Vergara or whoever chatting him up & love bombing him ?? I doubt it. Maybe once or twice , but over a period of time 25 year old Sofia is gonna steal him away nearly every time. Same thing with soccer mom Sally. No way she's going to decline 90's Brad Pitt over & over again. Eventually she's going to cheat on her otherwise perfectly fi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 09:32 PM |
| 4 | Why do I have to convince people to love meLet your actions do the talking. Don't try & convince anyone of anything. Start working out a few days a week at the minimum. Join some club or a bowling or pool league & just say you're doing it. If you have a girlfriend or wife ask if she wants to join you. If she doesn't don't ask if you can, tell her you are & then do it. Become less available if you are always around helping out. Learn to be content on your own. Don't make having or keeping a women happy your number one priority. It doesn't… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 09:03 PM |
| 6 | Wife/Mommy boss and my storyYeah you can spot these types a mile away at stores or wherever. They are soooo used to bossing their kids & husbands around 24/7 that when they get any pushback whatsoever they start going into full Karen mode. You just look at them thinking where do they get the idea that everyone is going to cater to them. Then you hear a phone call or see mr slumped shoulders beat down dad shuffle up & it clicks. This 6 on a good day woman is used to getting her way constantly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/23 11:14 PM |
| 13 | EmptyIt will pass. It was real. It just that Cluster B's are so flakey they bounce around like morons till they age out of the game and/or everyone gets sick of their nonsense & cuts them off. Then they sometimes move & start all over again repeating the same behaviors. Don't sell yourself short or think it meant nothing. But try & move on & don't get sucked back in because their cycles will repeat indefinitely. Took me about 3 times to figure it out, & maybe I still haven't. But I no longer have any… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/23 11:24 PM |
| 3 | She now regrets her choices after her new man is treating her like shit.No way. As a fun revenge tactic tell her yes & you would like to celebrate with an elaborate trip. Offer to pay for 2 of her friends that basically stabbed you in the back also. Tell her a limo is picking them up for a ride to the airport in style & you'll meet them there. Rent the limo & pay the driver a couple hundred to drive them to a garbage dump land fill. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/23 01:16 AM |
| 12 | Let her go!!On the finding real happiness, they think or expect to be "happy" all the time. Problem is that is just not sustainable or possible. I mean if a person is "happy" all the time they would be one strange cat. Possibly would resemble mental illness. The majority of them can't just be content during the downtime between happy moments. Some will begrudgingly substitute chaos and drama though. So like when some of us were younger or or just a different phase in life & had more "stuff" going on they st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 08:19 PM |
| 4 | She knows what the problem is. She knows what needs to be done. She still asks the internet for validation."sentient beanbag" "asexual blob" hahaha Bravo Sir | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 01/07/23 07:15 AM |
| 2 | Anyone else's ex completely change?She'll probably "change" again & go full religious or be all about yoga or all of a sudden be interested in the RV lifestyle or something else completely different. Then change back to vanilla, rinse & repeat. Big changes later in life is usually a red flag. She could have BPD or another Cluster B issue. Head over to BPDlovedones for a while & after enough reading of posts something might click for you to finally get it pegged. The downside is if that is the case , they don't change, they go in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/23 10:15 AM |
| 2 | Personality change? Or just meIf you have never been screwed over royally or betrayed bigtime by another person or the police or a company or whatever & something bad finally happens it can seriously change your outlook on things. We see it with deaths in the family, if you lost someone when you were young when it happens later in life you are better prepared to deal with it etc. We've all probably seen someone have meltdowns before & thought geez Bill I know it's sad but did you really think this giant corporation was going… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 12:09 AM |
| 3 | Paternity test or notI was just being hyperbolic. We probably would self correct after a painful period of disgust at the number of kids being born that aren't biologically the husbands. It would be interesting to see what would happen if this would be on the brink of becoming a law. I bet we would hear so much screeching it would be ridiculous. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/23 04:12 AM |
| 4 | Paternity test or not"...at every birth" Society would collapse in about a year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/23 03:52 AM |
| 42 | So much angerShe wants to be able to say "see... everything is fine, he's not mad or anything, it was completely mutual etc." | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/23 01:19 AM |
| 6 | DivorceThis has to be a troll post. If not c'mon dude. You should immediately stop having sex with her. Otherwise you are going to be on the hook for child support for the next 20 years, for life realistically. Take a month long vacation & count your lucky stars you got out clean. She is probably trying to do exactly that if she knows she's pregnant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/23 06:14 AM |
| 3 | Help omg helpJust one example that really drives some people up the wall is when they change dates & times that are important to you. Such as pick ups or drop offs with kids. Something like --"I told you we would be there at 1:00pm today"-- When it was obviously previously agreed upon & set that they would be there at 11:00am. So then you are calling & texting her the whole 2 hours & maybe your kid if they have a phone. You get no response for hours & are getting increasingly agitated & pissed off because yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/23 08:07 AM |
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