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Intimacy4u Archive

View 4 posts and 81 comments by Intimacy4u on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This would be construed as coercive control and unfairness. You can stipulate anything, it’s how the courts will interpret factors like length of marriage and presence of children. Since the person signing a prenup needs INDEPENDENT legal advice. Curious 🧐 - is this a for passport marriage or marrying someone abroad. 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 01:47 AM
1

https://www.wikihow.com/Pick-Yourself-up-when-You're-Feeling-Down
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:45 AM
1

The answer is staring you in the face. ReRead what you just wrote. She won’t get a job or pay you back , not if she can get away with you being her wallet. No matter how dumb they play, there always a dick or family in their ear.. trust me things go south or change pronto when money is involved.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:15 AM
4

‘It would work out better for her and her son’ How long were you together and why are even considering become a bank. Reality is - she is going to say anything to manipulate you. Let the next guy pay for her lifestyle and choices. What if she renegs? Do yourself a favour and get independent advice from Accountant /lawyer. Before promising anything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:07 AM
11

Yes a fortress of solitude. King of my own castle. My domain , my space. Never again will I be turfed out my own abode. Because when I depart this earth.. I did it My WAY 🎵 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 02:10 AM
2

The carosuel of failure - Good ones still married Logically what else would there be out there for over 40’ Wrinkly old bags with designer handbags and We are just trying to date each others toxic exes …. 🤣👀
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:32 AM
2

Memory from BBC link Make great memories 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:03 AM
3

I get both sides of the kingsize bed and can sleep in starfish position and no more bad breath from mrs Piggy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 12:53 AM
2

lonely link - I reframe to being in my ‘fortress of solitude’ positive reframing Stay strong 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 12:08 AM
1

Might want to research cohabitation rules and also post on legal uk sub.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 01:50 AM
9

Friendship phase -high energy just 2 ppl getting to know one another. Honeymoon phase - high energy - sexual and intimacy connection. Young and vibrant Parental phase- First child - adjustment but coping Second child + /- more adjustment and less time. Midlife phase - resentment/regrets and lack of time. Hormonal and body changes. Senior phase - retirement and unwinding to enjoy fruits of labour. Kids are adults. I think most ppl hope the honeymoon phase last forever… It doesn’t and they end try…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 12:13 AM
4

Just take each day as it comes. We have all been there in one form or another. You exist for a reason and purpose yet be determined. Don’t give up Never give up Stay strong 💪🏼 You are never alone. 🤛🏻
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 02:26 AM
2

The greatest thing about this life. You have the choice of free will. You get to decide who , whom you let into your life. I refuse to even lock eyes or speak to someone that affected by mental space. I have no doubt dog is like a baby for you?? Akin to a child. Option 4 Reverse UnO Pretend to NOT care about the dog to keep. Give the dog temporarily for 2 weeks FULL time whilst you go on a vacation to some nice place where you can relax and unwind. You will miss the dog but ZERO contact. Pretend…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 12:47 AM
3

I have two suspicions and suggest you explore both. And rule out sleep apnea. You MAY have Undiagnosed ADHD or Adult high functioning autism. ( maybe a combo of the two) If writing all this took you a very short amount of time. Then explore adhd first … The phrase I’m Done Was perplexing to you … literally not understanding context. Maybe too late to save marriage but in your best interests to seek help.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:37 AM
9

You existed before her and you will exist after her. It takes two hands to clap. You are not always the sole reason for failure. Everything in life is temporary. Divorce follows a grief cycle and you are at the bottom. You will rise upwards soon but you can’t just wallow in self pity with poor self esteem. Get some counselling therapy first. You are not alone… And with time this will be a distant memory. Never give up on yourself. Find a purpose Stay strong 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:24 AM
2

Some motivation songs song 🎵 to help. 💪🏼 script - hall of fame.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 01:50 AM
3

What is the ages of children … Any miscalculation on your part means what you thought was Hell was just the Foyer.. deeper levels exist 👿 Tread carefully. Do the math.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:37 AM
2

Honestly what that guy says makes sense. You have to able to Afford to divorce. Right now you have a roof over your head and toxic environment. Imagine no roof over your head , not seeing kiddos and being screwed over by the system. No sex - Outsource. Get some hobbies and keep em sweet. In fact get her a cheap hobby / wfh business so she not around more. Gym memrmbership etc. We always think the grass is going to better and lush. Take a gander at the over 40 dating subs and what’s waiting for y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:32 AM
11

‘Act weak when you are strong’ 💪🏼 Also art of war.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:19 AM
5

Not only do I feel sorry for you… that poor bastard she got married with Going to have a giant wake up call. Use emails for kids. It’s pretty much instant with mobile phone communication today and you get to decide when to reply and if even should reply. 🥴
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:10 AM
7

‘I don’t negotiate with Terrorists’ 👀
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 09:43 AM
6

Soul sucking parasite leeches.. I fear for the human race. Why ? All these children eventually become adults with patterns of entitlement mindset. Gen z,y … A …rest of the alphabet. Successive generation each getting worse. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 09:40 AM
9

Lucky you don’t have kids. Still not talking to mine. The alternate history and lies will affect me forever. Like ptsd , I get occasional nightmares. Divorce and move on How do you even engage with someone who lies so easily. Imagine the shifting sands and constant guessing. Mine drove me to height of craziness and still does. But tiday armed with psychology knowledge and help from this SuB.. I get it. Stay strong.💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:30 PM
6

Consider factual information without fluff words or cutting off chance of follow questions. Almost like a court letter. Precise Dates, times and relevant info. Daughter age 17 Doctor ……….., prescribed ………….. Diagnosis - UTI You can leave contact details of medical staff Centre. Let her deal with the Authoritative figure or care centre directly. You’re not a medical professional. Short , sweet and to the point, Facts only. Zero emotion.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 03:00 AM
12

1) Ability to communicate needs, wants and desires like an ADULT. 2) grasp of Maths for budgeting . 3) true Empathy and Understanding. That’s it..
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:57 AM
4

‘ I would rather adjust to her absence than be frustrated by her presence’ This qoute guides the overall decision , Helps not look back and provides strength to overcome any obstacles I face in my daily life. FYI the courts literally don’t care about relationship. As others said. Get your ducks in a row first. Don’t guess .., Know for sure. Consult and then if decision is made … pull the trigger. Stay strong 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 11:46 PM
0

Men are resilient and have resources💪🏼 At this moment there are options you haven’t considered or not open too. For every problem there is a solution. My suggestion - import a partner. Cast your net further a field. Fish in better calmer, waters where you get what you want and deserve. Happiness , respect and being wanted without huge drama and expectations. This my fall back plan if I don’t find anyone post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:46 PM
-1

Omitting relevant facts is LYING. Does anyone remember that audition scene in Pitch Perfect ‘NOT A DuDE’ 👀🙄😠😡🤬 You have been blocked 🚫 You have been blocked 🚫 You have been blocked 🚫 You have been blocked 🚫 And I’m considering leaving this sub… Have a nice life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:03 PM
-1

I think it’s disrespectful not stating the gender you itentify with on Divorce MENs forum. Please explain this post https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/7vkGFVl4Qa and IUD removal. before I’m willing to give Any advice. Context matters and I don’t like being duped and lied too. Wrote a lengthy post which I deleted after looking at your post history.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 01:59 PM
1

This- dating apps are like a casino for women. Instant validation and supply. Remembering the one time win whilst dating a carousel of losers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:41 AM
1

Probably found new supply and wants another fall guy.. New marriage and kids.. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:24 AM
4

Curious - little more background of how you ended up married your neighbour. Ethnic marriage to first cousin? Suggests a few things. Look up stoicism Eat well , sleep well. Everything in life is temporary. And this is going to sound absurd but get your testosterone levels checked. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:06 AM
8

This is not a dating app. Find somewhere else to post your advert and proclivities. Leave us in peace.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 04:20 AM
5

You do celebrity Hollywood trick I heard about. Can’t find link. You get married one day. Fancy wedding etc for family and world. Next day you get legally and financially separated by planned agreement. If you Divorce further down the line Yes you may have what we made together over zero days of assets accumulated. 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 04:35 AM
2

Grey Rock 🪨 wikihow link
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:31 AM
2

Congratulations and respect 🫡 You will have ongoing troubles and will be tested you will struggle , you will sacrifice but in the end it will be worth it. Give your children the love they deserve and future will reward you. A real example of true leader I applaud your bravery in the past, today and all your tommrows.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:23 AM
4

I celebrate my freedom and salute my brothers out there. It’s been a great day. happy V day - divorce men post 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:13 AM
5

Top performers deserve a top vacation. Go bask in the sun and claim your rewards Remember the spouses didn’t achieve this. Sure you may get a few past memories, but on the upside you get to make New memories and new adventures. It’s Costa Rica , you may find your dream Chikka. 😉 Live a little and go fir it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 06:22 PM
1

Do you get bored easily. ? Consider ADHD as a possibility. Desperate ppl make desperate decisions. Been there many times over many years. Trust me gambling your problems away for a serotonin boost is not the solution. Make your own luck , get fit and mentally ready.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 01:05 PM
0

So you got romance scammed. 🤔 Head over to the romance scam sub. Post your story and see the similarities for the long con. Love bombed to hell and then trapped in the relationship. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:19 PM
3

‘It would hopefully be an Amicable drama free situation’ 🥴😆😂🤣😂🤣 Best joke heard today.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:15 PM
1

The Answer
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 10:57 AM
22

Akin to the psychology like a child who does not accept responsibility or accountability. they create a narrative of the events within their minds. where they are the hero and you are the zero /villain. They are the ‘abuse survivors’ and you are ogre/monster. ‘Honey we can’t afford this’ Cue emotional abuse narrative. ‘I don’t love you anymore’ Cue the that things changed responsibilities of child parenting caused you to neglect me. I could make a long list -but they are just excuses upon excuse…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 10:29 AM
5

In that post she wrote. (Illogical questions really boil my piss) ‘My question is this, blah blah blah did you get over this’ Obviously if I’m still alive and well … then somehow I did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:43 PM
3

Don’t think the words sorry’ or an apology is ever part of there lexicon. Was just reading a post where women claims to care about divorced husband in a low place. Some snide add on comments from OP about him not paying child support I just think it’s just a soapbox or chance for them Air grievances.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:02 PM
15

OP please clarify why you thought this sub was better than the relationship or general divorce subreddit??
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:33 PM
11

Question - answer honestly OP -have you been physically or emotionally intimate with the guy during divorce or afterwards. If this has happened YOU are part of the problem not the solution. Remember everyone Dies eventually. Leave him to grief the loss of 25 years alone. Eventually with time and away from drama he will find a purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:28 PM
2

You not the First , nor the last The emotional rollercoaster Of the present, future and past. 💪🏼 Look up stages of divorce grief. Buckle up there is more emotions to contend with.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 11:09 AM
5

Money does really change people. Fast cars and fast women. Expensive watches and questionable lifestyle choices. This not the first or last cheating incident in history otherwise we would live out the rest of our lives based on a single decision, at a single point in time. We live our lives in a constant flux. I can’t begin to understand what must have happened for the person you started with to become what you left behind. Kudos for being accountable. You know you were POS and why. And most pos…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 06:05 AM
2

Be careful to vet and get firm recommendations. I ended up over paying for a consultation that was meant to be fixed fee. Charged me an extra inflated hour for reading the material. 😤 They contacted other parties lawyers without my express permission and knowledge. Had nice old chat about me. I explicitly requested they do not contact them when I booked with legal secretary. At the consult was told will cost something I can’t afford. And to take out litigation loan. Worse fee I’ve paid in awhile…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 06:53 AM
7

You are not thinking about her. You are thinking about the trauma and suffering you went through. The lies , the deceit. Therapy is the only way forward.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 06:04 AM
4

You will go from strength to strength and don’t look back in the rear view Mirror on this highway of happiness that awaits you. Just keep looking forward Freedom rocks 💪🏼 congratulations and having the fortitude to get to other side no matter the loss and circumstances. I wish you well Happy sock day. 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 05:10 AM
4

Seen stbx at local store with secret affair partner and had good old fashioned meltdown earlier today. Karmic justice unfolded and unravelled the lies she told. So not the best NYE. Start the new year on a positive , peaceful path. You are stepping forward to a different destiny.. and you get to choose your own path and happiness. Wishing you the best , no matter day of the year it is. A joke to cheer you up. I once told my EX about my new CAR made out of SPaghetti 🍝 Honestly 😁 You should have s…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 05:56 AM
8

Depends on how your relationship ended and how many lies and trust bonds were broken once divorce was in the picture. And yes I have children with her. But it’s my right as a human being not to subject myself to any more anguish , stress or worry. I will never be friends with some one who currently still financial and mentally abused me. manipulating Ex trauma will last a lifetime and even on my deathbed I will not utter her name again. And I do not even want look her in the eyes again. For thos…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 08:18 PM
1

Hope you find strength to overcome these challenges and difficulties. Stay strong bro 💪🏼 Curios 🤔 DNA test daughter?
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 07:33 AM
1

Jeez honestly I didn’t read the whole thing. Paralell parenting is the solution. Go forth and research the bell out of it. Here is a start- parenting with ex spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:35 AM
12

‘Nothing is ever good enough because it’s your fault I have children.’ It’s common Victim mentality blame shifting can be associated with personality disorder traits in BPD / bipolar/ depressive disorder which were hidden whilst the stressor was not present. However if none of these fit. Sadly it’s normal biology and brain chemistry. The hormones changed and role changed once seed was planted. https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/postpartum-care/mind-blowing-ways-your-body-changes-after-giving-birt…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 07:13 AM
0

Post partum depression
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:51 AM
6

If she is bipolar promiscuity is pretty much a certainty. Any gambling, alchohol dependency , emotional binge spending etc. ? Just get your ducks in a row. Get the childcare arrangements sorted first and financial discussions later. She will be testing the waters and leave her to delusions and crazy habits. If can’t trust her. You can’t trust her. Stay strong 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:27 AM
15

I wake when I want, how I want and have freedom. No more snoring drooling cover hogging monster 👹 keeping me up all night.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:54 AM
1

Sounds like my past just before divorce initiated by her. Except I’m much older. Suggest you get a mail order DNA test on the child ignognito. I suggest doing some investigative work on the finances and past to uncover the truth. I got played and left with a lifetime of anxiety due to gaslighting. If she creates the drama and arguments. Covert Narcissistic traitsand gaslighting maybe occuring. Look at the patterns of behaviour. The discard phase maybe coming soon 🥴 Stay strong and I hope things …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:49 AM
6

If she tried to change you that’s on her. Not you. Stop getting married till you happy as you are. At least learn from your mistakes and own that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:10 AM
3

Set up an automated response or spam email address to give you peace. Ignorance is bliss for this Miss. No doubt she will try for custody at some point.. get an harassment policy in place. Only emails concerning parenting allowed. If feels like driving the point home. Send her a dvd copy of pursuit of happyness (Pursuit of a Penis ) Or the this scene from Spider-Man. https://youtu.be/iCAaBWmKTDg?si=Fz0uSosHLjNyEnwm
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 12:54 AM
1

My hair is 2 inches taller now that I’m dating. 😉😆👀
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 02:06 AM
6

As someone who never wants to see , hear or really communicate with my EX. ( suspected covert Narc) I understand your frustration. Grey rock method with a Jonny dep vibe. All communication on your terms. I will not look this person in the eyes ever again. My silence will be my strength , and she will confuse it for weakness. I have not provided my current phone number and intended to see how coparenting dedicated emails worked. ( she failed to inform of a child injury at school recently 😤) copar…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:27 AM
12

Why am I reminded of the movie sixth sense. ? You see what YOU want to see. Confirmation bias of caring and hoping for better outcome. Suggest relationship counselling after Christmas and do not mention the clues. If she truly has the desire and motivation. She maybe keeping up appearances for the children sake. And keeping you placated till fireworks in new year.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 11:00 PM
2

Uk Brit here., I think my main issue is bias and And the human factor. ( Wonder if AI judge would be a thing in future. 🧐) Your future is determined by a person who maybe just having a bad day, month or year. It’s the judges Interpretation of the law being applied and Those with better means can afford better justice. Better choices and options. Current judge I’m dealing with has been in papers for corruption allegations. The judge could have lost a round golf early in day and your future is imp…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 09:55 AM
2

I think the issue is they are not trained psychologists and thus can’t see through the lies and manipulation of the other party. We end up getting frustrated , irritated , despondent and it shows. The narrative of the other party becomes self serving. The Ex’s lawyer deliberately set off and triggered panic / anxiety response just minutes before judge appeared on video conference hearing. 😤 I often wonder how judges and lawyers sleep at night knowing the consequences. Most likely because they ne…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 04:05 AM
3

Hope you get more time with them. https://islandlawyers.com/child-custody-and-visitation-in-hawaii/ Custody and family court forms
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:27 AM
2

My apologies that is an awful situation to be faced with.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:19 AM
12

Do You want to remembered even after you pass. Leave a legacy of memories. ( note you don’t actually need money to do these things. ) Being present 100% time, dedicated not on your phone scrolling for through dating apps or with GF. Why bother with litigation , only the lawyers win and time is wasted. Use the money to spend even more Quality time with what you have making unforgettable memories. Hire a personal assistants and outsource all essential tasks to manage your day to day work cleaning …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 01:48 AM
0

I would do quick check your Ex has not maliciously spread false rumours on socials/ google searches/ catfish sites. My Ex said the same thing to me. But then she is a bit biased. Her lies and karma will sort her out. Consider changing the age range and new photos. The poster which shared the grim stats is right. Females have an abundance of choices and OLD is free mainly for them. Some are just seeking validation or monkey branching. Or Toxic as hell. ( broke up with serial liar/ dater last week…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:22 AM
1

Make your SAD house , a Happy Home / bachelor pad/ sex dungeon It’s up to YOU now to fill it with new memories, challenges, new meaning.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 03:16 AM
1

A bonfire of a life up in smoke. Treat like a funeral so you can be at peace and in right headspace. Material things are just material things. Attachment to these is the source misery. Kon Maria YouTuber - thank the universe and let go…. Declutter and find a new life. You Don’t always need to landfill … Donate to charity shop you don’t visit. Some good comes out of something bad, Sell the items and buy something you want. Console, new Tv. Etc. Wish you well. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 03:12 AM
1

She will go from fair to victim overnight. Do not blame yourself and do not believe her lies. Every manipulation will be tried during court proceedings and She already planned her strategy. Move fast and lawyer up, control the process and initiate. Get used to phrases and platitudes like This is best for the kids I only want what’s best for children future. Amicable divorce and no parental alienation. Prepare for mental gymnastics and emotional rollercoaster, Skull duggery and mind fucckeery. Su…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 02:41 AM
4

I have 3 1/2 years of a rumpled receipts dumped in various bags and boxes. Separated and still being abused in a never ending divorce. I patiently await the day she asks so she can spend hours looking through them all, I have suffered immensely and been improvesrished the whole time. Clearance food, food banks and poor diet. Can’t afford even essentials at times but at least I have my freedom. I adapted and changed to super frugal. Charity clothes and thrift coupon saving. haven’t been on holida…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 01:56 AM
1

anxious UK Brit here dealing with Narc gaslighting Ex. I’m going to be going down this route during and after divorce., Our family wizard. US based also and my research suggests best option. Look for court approved easy to use Apps that document and monitor communications. https://www.ourfamilywizard.co.uk/about Edit Some alternates. https://www.parents.com/parenting/best-co-parenting-apps/
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 04:46 AM
1

Suggestions an email only method of contact. You ignore everything not important or pertinent to child welfare. One line of communication and you choose when , how and access to you. Clear boundaries. No late night messages creating anxiety or drama. Or court approved co parenting app. The courts only care about the children’s welfare. Priority no 1 She can behave how she wants and the system will not penalise her. Nice username. 😆
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 04:08 AM
3

Be patient and keep enjoying life. No need for commitment till ready and attachment reasons is impt. Make sure you have a life outside of her and support, Friends, hobbies and family. Reevaluate carefully on any major decision/ milestone Moving in together etc. Her intentions and what she really wants.. Caveat - Everything in life is temporary. Enjoy the highs and continue the healing. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:48 AM
1

Free post divorce Therapy is the answer. 😆 We do it avoid the mistakes but in reality we just ending up repeating them or seeking out the same. E.g Co dependency etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:37 AM
3

Simply I’m not ready to date and I crave intimacy and connection after long dead bedroom and what feels like the longest divorce process in history. Separated 4 years soon. Our experiences shape us, it guides and prevents us from feeling the same way again. We will be alert to red flags Abuse or toxic behaviour. Trust issues are affecting me greatly. Don’t override it this time. Suggest better hobbies and enrich your life in other ways folks. Take your time not rush into situationships or anothe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 10:53 AM
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